Bridger's trip to Chicago gets rudely interrupted when Brendan Scannell, Clare Ruddy, and Eunji Kim accost him with gifts. They discuss pickup strategies, brain eating amoebas, and free refills. On top of all that, Julia Steiner of Ratboys makes a musical appearance before making the mistake of giving Bridger a gift.
Don't forget to review the podcast, it's the least you can do.
Have a question for I Said No Emails or a Gift or a Curse suggestion? Email us at isaidnogifts@gmail.com and Bridger may or may not read it aloud on the show.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chicago. Please welcome Julius Steiner, as.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
That beautiful voice just said. My name is Julia. I
live here in Chicago. I play in a band called
rab Boys, and I am here to welcome you tonight
to the one and only.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I said no gifts.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
When I invited you here.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a
guess in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed.
Speaker 5 (00:51):
I said, no gifts.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
Your presences presence enough, and I already.
Speaker 6 (00:58):
Have too much.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
The so hot doie, you dude is obey me.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
And now your host riger Weineger.
Speaker 6 (01:27):
Julius Seigner.
Speaker 7 (01:28):
Oh my god, ah oh, I have to stop letting
a more talented person start the show that everybody's just
going to be miserable from for the next hour.
Speaker 6 (01:41):
Uh, Julias Signer. One more? Oh my lord, so good.
I don't deserve that. Oh oh, excuse me. I've got business.
You know this is my job. You guys all get
to have a nice time. I'm working. Welcome to I
(02:02):
said no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineger. We are in walking
distance of a Jewel Losco. I've just learned what Jewel
Losco is. This I thought I knew every grocery store.
This is the most beautiful name I've ever heard for
a grocery store. Thrilled. And then I went in and
(02:23):
it was just a Ralphs, But I was excited. I'd
like to go to a grocery store. And now I,
let's see, I just have to look at my business,
because there's some actual business I have to do tonight,
so I want to keep track of the business. Well,
first of all, I should mention Analise Nelson. Although their
voice was all of that, they weren't able to be
here tonight. I had to have them stay home and
(02:46):
feed my snakes. So you're looking at some look. I
spent most of the day trying to find a business
that had free refills. Chicago is a free refiel desert.
I couldn't believe what was happening. So, and I'm not exaggerating,
(03:06):
it was the better half of my day. So I've
been kind of my kate. My caffeine consumption has been
very all over the place. Oh this is homophobic sis
Oh god, uh. Weirdly seeing that a bunch of listeners
have actually sent me pictures. Diet Coke has been putting
Bridger on the side of cans. I have never in
(03:29):
my entire life little souvenir key chains anything that's never
a bridger. I don't know how they got hold of
the name, but I finally feel a little scene. But okay,
now we've got to get to the real business. I
keep hinting at business, and it's like, well, first, let's
see I'm trying to decide what order we should do
this business. Okay, I've got to take this off, to
(03:50):
be honest. In New York. In New York, I left
this on for two I forgot to take it off,
and I was sweating. I was so close to passing out.
So I'm gonna take this off now. If you've paid
any attention to the podcast or these live shows, you
probably aren't going to be that surprised by what's underneath
this robe. But I will say you're going to see
(04:12):
it in what I think is its final form. So
let's just let's reveal now. If everybody could be careful
about how you're looking at me, Okay, we've gone day tonight. Uh.
This started out as a white kiki sole tunic. Oh god,
(04:35):
it feels like it's shorter and shorter all the time.
But I died this. I put it in the black
die bath, and while I was dying, I truly thought
this is going to come out like black velvet. People
are gonna think I bought a little black dress. And
then I pulled it out and it's kind of a
dark green I don't know, kind of Miami night, I
(04:59):
don't know. Okay, Now the business I keep hinting at
the business. Last night I got a message from a
listener named Mike. He said he was going to be
here tonight with his wife, Hannah, and he wanted me
to deliver a message to Hannah. Hannah he wants a divorce. No,
(05:21):
it's her birthday, so I you know, I couldn't resist.
Happy birthday, Hannah, wherever you are. And I heard through
the grapevine that somebody else's birthday was someone else had
a birthday. But this is not the birthday podcast. So
happy birthday to all of us. We'll have each everybody
has one this year. Good for you. Okay, Now we're
(05:44):
getting back to the business, just to make make sure
we're on track. Here, we got happy birthday. Let's see.
I think we've basically talked about everything we I did.
I was recently alerted that this is the there's a
gay porn awards going on tonight, which the Grabby's and
(06:07):
it's uh h, I said, no gifts locked out again.
It's a tough Uh. I mean, what what more do
I need to do for these people? Look as I had,
the podcast has an explicit rating. There's maybe next year. Uh,
let's have Julia come back. Julia come back out just
for another minute or two. Julia are you there? Oh
(06:29):
my god, do you have something? Oh? No, well, this
is embarrassing for her after the big performance falls on
her face. Should I open this here on the podcast?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (06:43):
I love this teal green just littering, littering all over
the stage. Look at you've done to me. You're embarrassing
me in front of listeners. Oh my god, it's the
Beatles for babies. What tell me what's going on here?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
It's a small gift, small power babies. This is happy
baby Beetles for babies.
Speaker 6 (07:12):
Where did you get this?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I got that at a community wide garage cell.
Speaker 6 (07:16):
Oh as you do?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Uh huh, And it's very soothing.
Speaker 6 (07:20):
It's is it just is it like xylophone beetles wondering
what are they doing?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
You'll just have to listen to to find out.
Speaker 6 (07:28):
I hate the picture on this, do yao. One of
the babies has sunglasses on, like a John Lennon type sunglass,
which will make you dislike any baby.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
It might be John.
Speaker 6 (07:40):
Oh what did I say?
Speaker 3 (07:41):
It might be John?
Speaker 5 (07:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (07:42):
I think that is gen John had those kind of annoying,
let's be honest, annoying sunglasses from a young age. Yeah,
at a young age. Well, I'm excited to listen to this.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Please enjoy.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Yeah, it'll bring you much peace and joy.
Speaker 6 (07:54):
Oh I can't. I mean I've been using a white
noise machine at the hotel. We're across the street from
a club. Yeah, no, no, this is okay, fantastic happy
baby beatles for babies. Well, I look forward to listening
to this. Thank you and thank you again for the song.
Thank you for having me, Julia Signer. Everybody. Now I
(08:15):
have to go out into the audience and bother people.
Thank you. Okay, So now this is the part, and
I think we're on track. I'm here completely alone and
look at this. I'm doing this all on my own.
I finally grew up. I think it's time for audience
gift or a curse. Unless I'm missing something and anyone
can tell me if I've missed something. I've got to go,
(08:37):
and I've got to collect people from the audience. But
tonight to kind of assuage my guilt of not being
able to pick every single person, I'll hand out some
of these things while I go, some gift wrap and
T shirts. Let's see here. Okay, Oh, this is a
bad thing. I'm gonna go. Ah. Would you like to
(08:59):
come up? What's your name, Kristen? Kristen enterstage. Here's a
T shirt. Okay, let's see here, just prowling the audience, prowling, prowling, prowling.
Let's see here. You can have a T shirt. Let's
(09:21):
see here. Hm. Now, this is where people love this.
People love to just feel like they're being hunted. Here's
some gift rap. Would you like to come up? Okay,
what's your name?
Speaker 8 (09:35):
Rick?
Speaker 6 (09:36):
Get on stage?
Speaker 8 (09:36):
Rick.
Speaker 6 (09:37):
Okay, Now we've got to get into the let's see here.
Let's see here. I want to You know, you gotta dig.
You gotta dig and dig into the audience. You never
know who you're gonna find. You can have some gift wrap.
You can have a gift you asked politely. Would you
(09:59):
like to come up? What's your name? Cezi Susie? Enter stage?
Raget one more, Let's see here, let's go, let's stop
over here, Let's see here. Bup bup, bup buh. Some
people look really scared. And if you don't want to
do the show, I mean, it's totally fine. Let's see here.
(10:23):
Would you like to do it? What's your name?
Speaker 8 (10:25):
Neat?
Speaker 6 (10:26):
Okay, enter stage. Here's some gift trap. Okay, I've got
one more some uh, let's see. I have to go
to the other side to give this away because I
feel like I neglected all of you, and it's terrible.
It's really I don't want people mad at me, but
I here's some gift rap. You're welcome, okay, so everyone's
(10:48):
gonna be behind me. We're gonna play gift or a curse.
And I got these earlier today. I got on Instagram
Live and I should not be allowed on that. No
one has ever known less how to do Instagram Live.
It's mortifying every time. But listeners gave some suggestions and
people are I don't know. I think I just underestimate.
(11:10):
I think I'm stupid. People are like they just immediately
have all of these great suggestions that feel for me.
I'm like, that would have taken me months to think
of that. But we're gonna go through these four people.
I'm gonna give each of you two things. You're gonna
tell me if they're a gift or a curse, and why.
Then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong, because
there are correct answers. You can lose the game in
(11:32):
front of everybody mortifying. All right, let's start with you.
Number one, Gift you a curse real life celebrity couples
and commercials being domestic.
Speaker 8 (11:45):
Can you explain domestic? This what the word means?
Speaker 6 (11:49):
But these ah, we'll save this one for somebody else,
all right, Gift or a curse. Push note of vacations
for local warnings curse.
Speaker 9 (12:04):
All push notifications are a curse at all times. I
don't want to look my phone.
Speaker 6 (12:08):
Never correct curse for me. Spoiler alert. Let me let
me find out about the tragedy or the thing on
my own terms. Let me experience the earthquake or storm.
You know it's a it's an unfair thing. So you've
gotten one so far. Number two, Gift your a curse.
(12:29):
Clearance sections and grocery stores.
Speaker 9 (12:33):
Uh, let's go curse. Why I'm a I grew up
kind of bougie. I'm a coastal elite.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Oh boy, the audience is turning on this guy.
Speaker 9 (12:48):
My mom, whenever you let us chop there, it's like
a self curse.
Speaker 6 (12:54):
Okay, wrong, gift. I love the clear in section. It's
really where the freaks of the grocery store. You go
over there and you're like, I've never heard of any
of these items, and there's probably a reason, and then
it's discounted you. It's a little experimental, it's a little
it's the grocery store lab. So it's a gift, but
you still win something. Let's see here. Oh there's a
Oh there looks like there's another gift for me. Oh
(13:16):
my god, this podcast okay, this unfortunately the scene burst
on the wrapping paper.
Speaker 8 (13:21):
But is there anything from the clearance reck?
Speaker 6 (13:23):
What's that?
Speaker 8 (13:24):
Anything from the clearance t reck?
Speaker 6 (13:26):
Well, actually kind of Uh, this is uh, this was
given to me by David Desmalchen. He bought all of
these things at Goodwill. This is a potato express. This
you put up to four potatoes at a time and
then microwave them. It's like a little uh sleeping bag
for potatoes. So there's that. What else? We've got a
(13:46):
T shirt? That's that's merch. Gotta love merch. Oh and uh,
the card game gift to a curse. There we go. Okay, now, okay,
remind me your name, see Susie. Okay, let's uh, we're
going back to the first one. Gift or a curse
real life celebrity couples and commercials being domestic.
Speaker 10 (14:08):
This is an obvious curse because they're rich, they're fancy.
I don't need to see them being normal. I know
they're not being domestic in real life. Everybody's doing all
the domestic things for them.
Speaker 6 (14:18):
It's all a lie. So it's a curse. Wrong, wrong, wrong,
it's a gift. I love to get a little peek into,
you know, Dax and Kristen's life. They're selling their cars.
They have so many cars they're selling. I love it,
you know, and I know it's true. It's documentary. It's
(14:40):
a it's a slice of life gift. So you got
one wrong. Let's see if you can get at least
one dig yourself out of this hole gift or a curse.
Speaker 10 (14:51):
Driving gloves, Oh, driving gloves, Okay, this is a gift.
It's eccentric.
Speaker 6 (14:58):
Okay, it's a fun excess.
Speaker 10 (15:00):
You know, you're dealing with somebody who's maybe a little
crazy when you see them, also fancy eccentric, like kind
of grey gardens vibes. Is what I would get from
somebody like that, And that's a gift for sure.
Speaker 6 (15:15):
Correct.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Yeah, I'm gonna say, I.
Speaker 6 (15:17):
Mean what, how could I say that they're a curse?
I mean I would I'd love to have a pair
of my own. That's a bit of a problem. But
I guess the problem is I should just spend twenty
dollars on a pair of driving gloves. That's maybe that's
in the future for me. I don't know. But gift,
you got one out of so you get to win something.
Let's grab let's see what's in here. Okay. And by
the way, these are all bags from previous guests as well. Okay,
(15:41):
so it looks like, oh, this is an early gift.
This is DJ Khaled's The Keys. The Wonderful Lamar Woods
gave me to this in like episode four or five,
and this has changed everything for me. This is I'm
the man I am today because of this book. So
there's that. Thank you, And then let's see we've got
(16:02):
Oh these are it's a pair of socks from Ben Schwartz.
It's Millhouse socks. That's there. We go and let's see.
Oh end the card game.
Speaker 10 (16:14):
Yay, thank you.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
I don't know why I acted. Look at this pile
of trash. Okay, oh yeah, we're not ready for the
next thing. Okay, remind remind me of your name, Kristin Christen.
Are you ready for gift you a curse?
Speaker 5 (16:28):
I am?
Speaker 6 (16:28):
Okay, number one, gift her a curse? Full English breakfast?
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Oh yeah, curse.
Speaker 11 (16:39):
Why who wants beans and sausage for breakfast? It's just
super okay, Caitlin.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Good for you.
Speaker 11 (16:46):
Got the tomato tomatoes and what is blood sausage?
Speaker 6 (16:50):
Like? Why are anybody eating that?
Speaker 3 (16:53):
It's not good?
Speaker 11 (16:54):
No, it's a curse.
Speaker 6 (16:55):
Correct. No one's on board with this breakfast. And if
you are, there's the exit tomato. They're like nine different sausages.
I mean the beans alone. No one will ever convince
me that's a good breakfast.
Speaker 11 (17:06):
No one wants beans for breath.
Speaker 6 (17:07):
I know how that thing came together.
Speaker 11 (17:10):
Poverty to me, it's an abundance.
Speaker 6 (17:16):
We've got too many beans. We have too many tomatoes,
We have too many different types of sausage. It's a
bad We really like casing meat. Oh right, right, okay,
we got one right so far. Number two. Gift or
a curse when a restaurant gives you a birthday or
anniversary treat after you've already ordered and eaten dessert.
Speaker 11 (17:39):
So for your New York show, that happened to me.
We went to a really fancy place and then they
sent us over some dessert because I said it was
an anniversary, though it wasn't just so that I would
get better service. I was so full, it was so
hard to get through. No, it's a gift because I
like free stuff.
Speaker 6 (18:02):
Wrong, I'm sorry, but this is a scam and you're
probably getting the worst dessert. They're just waiting for you
to order the more expensive one. And then my Yelp
review is going off, and I've got a very You've
got a whole library of Yelp reviews. These people, it's
not fair, and then you have to eat it. No
(18:22):
one's taking it to go.
Speaker 12 (18:23):
It was really hard to get through.
Speaker 6 (18:24):
Oh, it's deeply unfair. Well, you I've already forgotten. You've
gotten you've got two one right, it doesn't matter. All right,
Let's see here, I'm see this is the tunic. Is
so hard to do anything. And okay, this isn't a
box that I made this myself.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 6 (18:45):
It says gift rap, gift rap. Okay, open that up.
Oh I've been telling every okay, you open it for
me and I'll I'll say, okay. So there's some gift
wrap and a T shirt. And then this is a
pair of socks which were purchased at a liquor store by
mary Lynn rice Cup.
Speaker 11 (19:01):
I remember.
Speaker 6 (19:03):
I actually am keeping a few pairs of them because
I'm going to try to integrate them into an outfit
at some point.
Speaker 11 (19:08):
I mean, you like the length of them.
Speaker 6 (19:09):
I'm trying to figure out if I do, where do
they hit? They hit about? What does everyone think about
a sock that hits about here? People are on board.
Speaker 11 (19:18):
I think it's gonna be nice for my boots because
I like them to go above the boot. I don't
like them to go high up because I get sausage legs.
Speaker 6 (19:25):
Okay, right, right, well, I don't know. You try them,
we'll both try them together. Perfect We're connected through liquor
store socks. All right, remind me your name Rick, Rick?
Are you ready for gift you a curse?
Speaker 8 (19:38):
Absolutely?
Speaker 6 (19:39):
Okay. Number one gift your a curse. Gummy vitamins.
Speaker 12 (19:48):
I suspect.
Speaker 13 (19:51):
I know how you're going to answer this, but but
here's what I think.
Speaker 8 (19:56):
They're a curse.
Speaker 13 (19:57):
The vitamin game is a scam. You're not getting anything.
You are peeing that out immediately, just have gummy bears?
Why you just do that instead? So it is absolutely
a curse, correct curse.
Speaker 6 (20:15):
I believe. I do believe in the power of vitamins.
But when they turn into a gummy, I'm like, okay, now,
now it is a scam. I know it is a scam.
But then when it's a gummy, it's a scam. So
and you only get to eat one?
Speaker 13 (20:27):
Yeah, And also you are just like urinating that. I sure,
I assure you.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
There's nothing wrong with urinating things out. Let's say, you know,
let's avoid our uti.
Speaker 12 (20:38):
Well, you've come to the right weekend in Chicago, So.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Okay, you've gotten one right so far. And finally, gift
You're a curse. Couches with cup holders.
Speaker 8 (20:54):
So.
Speaker 13 (20:56):
I can see it like I can see the benefits
very utilitarian. You're like set for a really comfy experience.
But I will say it's a curse because it's my
god like figure.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
Get a grip with your life, like, look at.
Speaker 12 (21:13):
What is happening. I mean right, you need someone.
Speaker 13 (21:18):
This is a wake up call if you are buying
one of those couches, like, get outside and get some
fresh air.
Speaker 12 (21:25):
So it's a curse, Rick.
Speaker 6 (21:31):
Wrong, How chic could you possibly get? You put one
of these in the basement. People are coming over there wondering, Oh,
when did he get a raise? You've got access to
your drink. You're not the kids aren't spilling. It's a
you know, a black leather that's probably falling apart as
(21:53):
soon as you get into the house. Gorgeous. And I
have recently become a yeah, a secret Lives of Mormon
wives recap ah. And so you know, I'm always thinking
where can we get the sodas? Where can we put
the sodas? I'm always worried. But you, uh, you got
one correct, So you win something and here we go.
(22:16):
There's a Now I've revealed another oh another gift from
me happening on this podcast. Okay, let's see here Okay,
nice bag T shirt. Yeah, this is a nice one, right, okay,
Oh god, okay, Oh Rachel Ray thirtys give it up
a Rachel Ray thirty minute meals. This is from Joe
Castle Baker and I've I've made several of the recipes.
(22:38):
Oh my god, wow a crowd. This is when she
had a lot of hope. Oh we're rooting for Rachel.
We're rooting for Rachel and the card game.
Speaker 8 (22:49):
Oh well, thank you.
Speaker 6 (22:51):
Let's give him a hand. Every thought of let's give
him my hand. Okay, now get off the stage, Get
off this stage. Let's see here. Oh yeah, go exit
that way, just making sure everyone gets out carefully. Okay, great,
Now should I open these tiny things here real quick?
See this is the podcast gets out of control so quickly.
(23:14):
What's that? Oh there's something under the chair. Oh how
did this get here?
Speaker 8 (23:19):
A mouse?
Speaker 6 (23:19):
Bring it? Okay, but let's open this one first. Let's
see here. Oh look at this, it's a stalking Oh
it's a McDonald's stocking. Where did this come from? And
I don't think I'm gonna be able to reach inside?
But there's a little mouse. Whoa. This looks like it
was like an eighties McDonald's thing. Okay, I'll have to
look at this later. There's a Norman Rockwell thing. This
(23:40):
is incredible. I'll put some pictures on Instagram. Nobody, I
mean this part of the podcast. I'm getting things I
actually am excited about. I think people are like, come on, okay,
this is a lovely card. Let's see. Maybe this will
give some hint to what's happening. My I'm actually very sorry. Okay,
(24:01):
let's see. I hope it's a threat. There's a bomb
under someone's seat. Oh, this is cheers to another live show.
We love you. Goodbye, Mandy and Karma. Thank you Mandy
and Karma. And we'll just open. Oh you look what
you're doing to me. Oh my god, diet coke? Oh
(24:25):
and a lime? How classy? That is pure class. Oh
my god. It's somebody who's here? Who's somebody on their
way in? Or is it? Oh it's Brendan Skinner. Oh,
(24:47):
bring bring your soul out a little.
Speaker 12 (24:49):
I didn't know you were getting dressed up just for.
Speaker 6 (24:51):
Me, of course, and I went shopping.
Speaker 14 (24:55):
You look like you are a squire for a fister.
You look like you are you know what you looks like?
There is a fisting going on and you are running
around picking up trash around it.
Speaker 6 (25:08):
You're uncomfortable?
Speaker 12 (25:10):
Is this skims? How are you?
Speaker 6 (25:16):
Oh?
Speaker 12 (25:16):
Here's your gift?
Speaker 6 (25:17):
Oh fantastic. Well we'll get to this.
Speaker 12 (25:19):
I wrapped it like a straight guy. This is do
I sit here?
Speaker 6 (25:22):
What do you take? A take whatever stool you like,
sit here and put it wherever you want. Oh god,
I've got to find a new outfit. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 12 (25:32):
I'm so happy to be here High Chicago.
Speaker 6 (25:38):
Do you What's something I always forget about doing it?
A live show is simply asking the audience how they're doing?
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Where are we?
Speaker 12 (25:47):
This is fun. This is the first time we've ever
been on stage together.
Speaker 6 (25:50):
This is the first time we've done the podcast live together.
Oh yeah, because we did a pandemic podcast.
Speaker 12 (25:56):
Who can forget?
Speaker 6 (25:57):
Who could?
Speaker 12 (25:58):
I was in a wee work.
Speaker 14 (26:02):
Because I was pretending I had a job, and I
did your podcast?
Speaker 6 (26:06):
Were you really broadcasting from a we work?
Speaker 12 (26:08):
I was broadcast from a we work?
Speaker 6 (26:10):
Oh my god, And you've gave me the most beautiful hat.
I almost brought it tonight to give away, and then
I thought, that's.
Speaker 14 (26:15):
Well, your suitcase got lost, right, You're wearing what was
only on your person.
Speaker 6 (26:22):
I wore this on the plane.
Speaker 12 (26:25):
Is this what gen Z is doing?
Speaker 13 (26:27):
Now?
Speaker 12 (26:27):
First we make pants? Now no pants?
Speaker 6 (26:31):
What are you doing in Chicago? Brendan is the only
person here who I lives in Los Angeles and.
Speaker 12 (26:37):
I'm here for the I'm here for the Grabbys. You're here.
Speaker 6 (26:40):
Yeah, you're gonna sweep.
Speaker 14 (26:43):
Yeah, I'm gonna sweep the stage. I'm accepting the award
for most plants. In the background, everyone's watching my material, like, Wow,
his zz plant is so healthy.
Speaker 6 (26:55):
He's really making good use of that. We work.
Speaker 14 (26:56):
I feel like there's stuff in the way from this
audience truth, this is, this is podcasts and then want
to do live stuff. They don't understand that parties.
Speaker 6 (27:12):
I'll pay extra attention for a few minutes. Just lean
back and just look at you while we're I'm talking
this is it is unfair. Maybe we'll move the the.
Speaker 12 (27:21):
Fi water, move the Fiji water.
Speaker 6 (27:25):
No they're paying me. No, we'll get rid of the fine.
Look at him stage directing. This is so what are you?
I do?
Speaker 14 (27:35):
Feel like we're like twins and I'm the stinker, Like
you're like you got straight a's and I went to rehab.
Speaker 6 (27:48):
Tell me while you're in Chicago.
Speaker 14 (27:49):
I'm in Chicago. My family lives here. I'm from this
I'm from the South Side. I grew up in Beverly.
Everyone I knew was Irish Gothic. When I was a kid,
my mom had three best friends and they were all
named Peggy.
Speaker 12 (28:03):
Before I was fine, I thought, Peggy met woman.
Speaker 6 (28:09):
Does your family have pope fever?
Speaker 12 (28:12):
Does my family have what hope fever? Pope fever?
Speaker 14 (28:15):
Oh, guess you'll like this, my mom, She goes, Uh,
the Pope used to teach at Saint Rita, not a
good school.
Speaker 12 (28:24):
Guess he's not smart because he didn't teach it.
Speaker 14 (28:27):
Mother McAuley, Okay, pandering. See, you can't do that because
you're not from here. You're from You're from the weirdest
place in America. You're from the place where when people
find out they're from there, they go oh.
Speaker 6 (28:47):
People's reaction to Utah is either that or there's like, oh,
I can't ask anything, or they go way too far
with it.
Speaker 12 (28:53):
Immediately, Well, the.
Speaker 14 (28:54):
Gloves, the gloves are that's your Mormon underwear, right, No,
that's not sanitary, babe.
Speaker 6 (29:06):
I actually am wondering what I'll do with these once
I actually fully fall apart. If any, we should start
brainstorming future glove situations because they are rapidly falling apart.
It's crazy. See.
Speaker 14 (29:15):
I love that you have all these inside jokes with
your audience, and I have no idea what they are.
All right, Bridgar's got a podcast and he's got gloves.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
That's it. I do feel like I'm pigeonholing myself a
little bit into an outfit. I'm starting to feel like, uh,
who's the guy that just never wears a shirt on stage?
Speaker 12 (29:33):
Bert Chryst shirt.
Speaker 14 (29:34):
Yes, I'm kind of the brain friend of mine.
Speaker 12 (29:38):
He says, Hey, faggot, I love you. He's never said that.
I never spoken.
Speaker 6 (29:44):
I'm not.
Speaker 12 (29:45):
I'm not successful.
Speaker 6 (29:50):
No, but I do feel like I'm falling into that.
So that's why I'm hoping that I'm guessing change it up. Well,
I have to wait for someone to give me an item.
Speaker 14 (29:57):
I got this on the podcast, you got that on
the podcast.
Speaker 12 (30:03):
But can someone get this man some shorts?
Speaker 6 (30:07):
Oh my god, oh somebody else here? They must be
Oh it's Claire running Hi, Claire, Ooh, bring up a soool.
The school situation I feel like is out of control. Oh, Claire,
welcome to I said, no gifts. I love those shoes.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Look you, thank you so much for having me. Okay,
shall I put.
Speaker 6 (30:29):
This I'll put this over. Oh god, what is this? Okay,
shut this show here, Put this here, Claire, we're talking
about pope fever. Do you have pope fever? Oh?
Speaker 3 (30:40):
I was excited living here. I live in Chicago, and
I think we can all say that when that happened,
it was like I got fifty fucking texts being like
from people here and from people elsewhere, being like Chicago Pope,
Chicago Pope, Chicago Pope. I found out from my notification.
Speaker 12 (30:55):
Cool Chicago Pope.
Speaker 6 (30:56):
Oh my god, here we go. This is an ideas
podcast first, and wow, that's a really good idea. The
thing about this, like I've been I've been learning that
the popes from Chicago, we all know this, but I
was wondering, like, he's young enough probably to have had
an email address. That seems very odd to me that
people are probably like, oh, I now have the pope's email, right?
Speaker 3 (31:19):
Are you suggesting that the last pope didn't have an email?
Speaker 12 (31:23):
What are you suggesting?
Speaker 3 (31:24):
What are you suggesting?
Speaker 6 (31:27):
I'm suggesting conspiracy. This is a new Dan Brown novel.
The Pope didn't have an email address.
Speaker 14 (31:32):
You think when you become pope, they strip you of
all your old data and you get like a new phone,
new email address, no bet gmail dot gmail.
Speaker 6 (31:43):
I really do feel like they have to kill your family.
It's like it's weird that normal people know him. It
doesn't make any sense, like he probably like went to
a fast food restaurant in Chicago at some points.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Brother, maybe maybe we've all seen this. His brother is
fucking defending his name on the news, being like he
was not a Cubs fan, he was a white Sox.
What his brother keeps going. I don't know if he
keeps going on the news or if I'm just getting
the clip a lot, but his brother keeps going. I
don't know who said this about the Cups thing.
Speaker 14 (32:10):
We got to stop putting brothers on TV when remember
when Obama was president, they would occasionally be like, and
here's his brother, and he would say the wackiest shit.
Speaker 6 (32:20):
I wonder if he got any warning that his brother
was going to be on TV, or if it was
just like, oh, oh, I should because it was not
if my brother was suddenly on TV. Like that, kill myself.
Speaker 14 (32:33):
That's why you got to keep your podcast really not successful.
This is enough, this is plenty. I never want to
fly too close to the sun.
Speaker 6 (32:43):
Well you've tried.
Speaker 12 (32:44):
I've tried, tried, jumped out that building.
Speaker 6 (32:49):
You have another show tonight.
Speaker 14 (32:50):
I do have a show at ten at leak at lunch.
What I'll be in bed by then you'll be in bed.
People should follow him there, wouldn't that be fun?
Speaker 8 (32:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 12 (32:58):
Like the pied Piper.
Speaker 6 (33:02):
Claire. Are you from Chicago?
Speaker 5 (33:03):
I am?
Speaker 3 (33:04):
I live here. I do comedy here as well. He'll
be at the lodge and I plugging him?
Speaker 12 (33:09):
Where are you?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
I'd be at the lodge also, not tonight, but in June.
I run a show there. But yes, I live in
Lincoln Park.
Speaker 6 (33:17):
Okay, I should be learning about Chicago. But then again,
I just spend the day looking for free refills and
experienced none of the local culture. I've what my life
is such a waste?
Speaker 8 (33:28):
I just.
Speaker 6 (33:31):
Grandma, No, is there like a quick thing I could
see tomorrow before my flight?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Oh when's your flight?
Speaker 6 (33:40):
Two thirty?
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Okay? So when do you get there?
Speaker 6 (33:44):
Oh that's another question? And I am seeing both airports.
I saw the one and now tomorrow I'm sing O'Hare
and I feel like, ohair is gonna be better? Is
that correct?
Speaker 3 (33:52):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (33:53):
Oh people, Well we'll let these two people speak.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Way is just a strange experience. I think sometimes it's
better because it's like less people are there. But I
just feel like I'm walking in a school classroom.
Speaker 6 (34:10):
Hallway right of liminal space type experience.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
And then O'Hair has fucking like ship on the ceiling.
Speaker 6 (34:17):
And you're like, whoa.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
Walking through my hair is like whoa, there's just so
much shit on the ceiling.
Speaker 6 (34:22):
Like purposeful ship on the sea, beautiful art. Yeah, I
can't wait.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
Don't look down.
Speaker 14 (34:30):
Well, the grabbies flew me here on a dildo. So
the only airport I saw was Cade Maddox's hole.
Speaker 12 (34:42):
With the one gay guy in here.
Speaker 6 (34:46):
I got to, uh, what's the other one? What's not O'Hair?
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Midway Way?
Speaker 6 (34:51):
I got there from Long Beach Airport and I'd never
been through this airport. They have sand pits.
Speaker 12 (34:56):
What Long Beach to Midway?
Speaker 6 (34:58):
It's a crazy experience.
Speaker 12 (35:02):
How little money are you making.
Speaker 6 (35:09):
The abuse I put myself through on flights?
Speaker 12 (35:11):
Is you take a pony express? Like, what are you
talking about?
Speaker 6 (35:15):
My car broke down in front of the theater, barely
made it tonight. No, I everyone knows I love a
connecting flight, but I this time I thought I'll spoil myself.
I'll have a direct flight. But in order to do that,
I had to go out because I won't fly out
of Lax Hell on Earth. The Lax is the reason
Americans hate Los Angeles. You go to that airport and
(35:39):
it's children of men. It is absolute misery. So I'm
avoiding it at all costs. And now I'm at Long
Beach where they have these giant sand pits for people
to play in. I've never seen something like this in
an airports.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Who is in it?
Speaker 6 (35:51):
Passengers? They must be dragging the sand on the planes. Oh,
oh my god, oh my god. Let's put this here.
Let's put hello, Hi, welcome to I said, no gifts.
Speaker 5 (36:11):
I'd love to disobey.
Speaker 6 (36:13):
Okay, gosh to find out we were talking about Long
Beach Airport. It's all over the news on everyone's.
Speaker 5 (36:19):
From Long Beach to Midway is a kind of a
crazy cultural I don't want to hear this because like
Midway is also to me like the essence of Chicago.
While o' hair is sort of like the public face,
you know, like O hair is like kind of like, oh, look,
we're important too, you know, we could possibly be the
you know, the target of a terrorist attack.
Speaker 6 (36:38):
And then.
Speaker 15 (36:44):
I just I just remember during nine to eleven, chicag
was like we're next.
Speaker 6 (36:51):
Well, I will say so was South Jordan Utah.
Speaker 5 (36:53):
Yeah, but you know it's just yeah it was. But
Midway is just much more authentico. Yes, you're gonna have
a good sausage there.
Speaker 6 (37:02):
Oh at Midway, I missed the sausage.
Speaker 5 (37:05):
Okay, I will tell you.
Speaker 6 (37:09):
I got a recommendation for tortoise at the airport at O'Hare. Yeah,
Rick Bayless, my mom was talking about that.
Speaker 12 (37:21):
Like something a mom would talk about. And they got
a frontierra at Midway.
Speaker 14 (37:24):
Now, yeah, exactly, it's fancy.
Speaker 6 (37:29):
I looked into it. It looks good. So excited. Don't
don't don't harm my dream.
Speaker 12 (37:37):
You guys are having like a leg off.
Speaker 6 (37:40):
Look at this, yeah, look at this.
Speaker 16 (37:45):
Here's one thing about Bridge or Bridger secret, buff secret.
He's not wearing he's wearing shapewear, but the man is ripped.
Speaker 12 (37:58):
That is not show.
Speaker 6 (38:00):
Show show show, show, show show. I don't know how
I would even begin. I can barely address when I'm alone,
but I will WHOA. What I did want to bring
up because everyone I feel like I'm becoming such a
(38:21):
nervous flyer and it feels like the everyone is in
kahoots to make me as scared as possible. First it
was I don't know if we were watching the rehearsal
with the plane crashes non stop, and now did we
hear the news about the person going into the airplane
bathroom out of Honolulu and someone had written on the
mirror there's a bomb on the plane? Ah? Can you imagine?
(38:45):
How would you react to that?
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Well, I have some follow ups.
Speaker 6 (38:50):
I'm not gonna have any answers.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
They wrote. When you say they wrote on the mirror,
I'm drinking.
Speaker 12 (38:58):
The bomb? Is this ass?
Speaker 6 (39:01):
They kissed the mirror?
Speaker 8 (39:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (39:05):
He said it was some lipstick. I wouldn't worry.
Speaker 17 (39:07):
I'm like, yeah, going on, Yeah, women in stam.
Speaker 6 (39:20):
I know nothing about it, and I'm so curious. Yet
I didn't look into it, but all I thought was like,
what would if I went in there? What would Because
you need to be quiet, you need to just tell somebody.
But I think I would just be quiet.
Speaker 15 (39:31):
My first impulse would be like tell everyone.
Speaker 5 (39:33):
Of course I would be sobbing and stats I would
open the door and be like, God.
Speaker 12 (39:37):
Like that, here's what I feel like.
Speaker 14 (39:40):
I wouldn't tell anyone because I wouldn't want it to
get diverted.
Speaker 12 (39:43):
There's nothing then being in the air.
Speaker 14 (39:46):
Nothing worse than being on the air halfway across the
country and they're like, we have to make an allergic
to landing in Denver and you're like, oh, I've got
a reservation at Portillo's.
Speaker 6 (39:59):
Yeah, they fully had to t I mean, of course
I had to turn around a nightmare.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
So it said in the bathroom, Oh, of the airplane
or the airplane?
Speaker 5 (40:06):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (40:07):
I was thinking of the airport, and I was like,
how would they know even which plane?
Speaker 6 (40:10):
We've got to check every single plan.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
So many questions. This person was like, not that well
thought out in their bombing miss apparently.
Speaker 6 (40:19):
On the plane? And am I spreading misinformation? Does this
feel true? Does this a real news story?
Speaker 15 (40:24):
And did they discover who it was on the plane?
Speaker 6 (40:27):
Who did it?
Speaker 5 (40:27):
Was it a joke?
Speaker 6 (40:28):
Has Yeah, so that's the I guess that's a big mystery.
Somebody on the plane must have done it.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Right, that's the thing.
Speaker 6 (40:33):
What a fun game.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
It could have all been a print, because I do
love a good print. So that was my next question was,
is somebody on this plane at Prankster.
Speaker 6 (40:46):
They find George Clooney, gotcha, famous.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
In Practical Joker Clooney, he's one of the four lifelong Friends.
Speaker 6 (40:58):
Yes, no, I'm a yeah, that's just I don't know
that I can keep getting on planes.
Speaker 8 (41:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (41:04):
You think it would get easier? Is this true for
other people? Like it gets every time I'm on a plane,
it's somehow harder.
Speaker 5 (41:10):
I mean, honestly, it's I am just as worried, but
my will to live.
Speaker 6 (41:15):
Yes, yes, yes that's true.
Speaker 5 (41:17):
So I'm willing to gamble.
Speaker 6 (41:20):
This is I've said this, but like anytime there's serious turbulence,
the way I comfort myself is thinking, well, at least
I won't have to be on the plane anymore. Yeah,
it's like, well, the flight was a shorter flight than
I expected.
Speaker 12 (41:33):
And what a relief to not have to keep a
podcast going.
Speaker 6 (41:36):
Oh yeah, my god, it's over, Oh god, whatever this is? Well,
I think, you know, as much as I'd like to
keep talking about planes exploding, I think we should get
into you guys obviously brought something the podcast is called.
I said, no gifts. I don't know if you were
clear on that or what. I'm sure at least one
email was sent. Brendan's been on the podcast before. No
(41:59):
excuses there. Uh, it seems like you brought gifts for me? Yes, okay,
should we open them here on the podcast? Can we
should here on the podcast?
Speaker 5 (42:13):
Okay?
Speaker 6 (42:13):
Okay, Brenda, is this one yours? No, of course, of course,
let's open this one first, kind of careful. I double
bagged it, and I'm I'm smelling something.
Speaker 15 (42:24):
Yes, it's alive.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
The sense that you got there, I strong believe this.
Speaker 14 (42:30):
I went to this great restaurant, the Athenian Room, and
I had some leftover food, and I just I thought, Bridge,
with all that working out you're doing, you're gonna need
some proteins, and there's some in there.
Speaker 12 (42:49):
There's gravy in the bottom.
Speaker 15 (42:51):
That's the juice.
Speaker 5 (42:53):
That's the juice.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
The way you are handling that is crazy. You had
one thumb that thing.
Speaker 12 (43:01):
It's like you've never seen leftovers before.
Speaker 6 (43:05):
Wait, what was the restaurant, the Athenian Room.
Speaker 14 (43:08):
Okay, I'll reach Cargo Classic cash only.
Speaker 6 (43:15):
Do you feel like this is going to give me
food poisoning.
Speaker 5 (43:17):
Yes, how long has it been in?
Speaker 6 (43:19):
The danger?
Speaker 12 (43:21):
Greek people?
Speaker 6 (43:23):
Okay, I love the Greek population. I complained about not
having Greek restaurants in LA all the time, and then
I get here and there's so many Greek restaurants and
then I look for refills. But the chicken the concern here.
How long has it been out? You know, in the
the as a grown bacteria is the big question.
Speaker 14 (43:39):
I was eating at the Athenian Room ninety minutes ago. Sorry,
I'm just gonna check.
Speaker 6 (43:43):
My Okay, should I guess I'll have a bite of
the chicken. Then oh, the.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Gloves touching it.
Speaker 12 (43:48):
Oh my god, the gloves on.
Speaker 5 (43:50):
I think I should eat the chicken. Eat it, eat it,
eat it.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
Eat it, eat it.
Speaker 12 (43:57):
Yeah, you know, I'm gonna have some feta as long
as we're here.
Speaker 6 (44:06):
Oh it's a little dry, gosh, put it on, yelp. Okay,
I'll be right back. I'll be right.
Speaker 14 (44:18):
But you are not spitting out the food I brought?
Are you fucking kidding me? I bring you my leftovers
and you spit them out, you Mormon piece of ship.
Speaker 6 (44:40):
Bring a better chicken next. Time, I'll have some little
feta too. Why not have a food, oh, like a
certain type of food?
Speaker 5 (44:50):
I mean, like, is there is there a dish that
Mormons are famous for?
Speaker 6 (44:55):
What jello? But number one?
Speaker 5 (44:58):
Are you serious?
Speaker 6 (45:00):
Jello? Funeral potatoes?
Speaker 5 (45:03):
Funeral potatoes.
Speaker 6 (45:05):
Funeral potatoes are delicious, but the saddest sounding thing that
you could possibly imagine. It's potatoes, sour cream, cheese, and
corn flakes. Oh and again it sounds okay, okay, I
didn't sell it her well, but it's just, you know,
like a very good casse role. That's the number one
jello fry sauce, which is ketchup and mayonnaise mixed together.
(45:29):
You can get that.
Speaker 5 (45:30):
Ooh ooh you.
Speaker 6 (45:33):
It's delicious. I think those are the number of the
top three.
Speaker 5 (45:37):
And then is like the famous thing that Mormons make.
Speaker 6 (45:41):
It's kind of almost a stereotype. I feel like, I
don't know, stereo, I did not know this. It's very offensive.
Speaker 14 (45:48):
Yes, you yellow eating motherfucker exactly.
Speaker 3 (45:54):
Something.
Speaker 6 (45:56):
Let's get it started.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
To have the to have one of the three top
foods in your culture be a sauce.
Speaker 5 (46:08):
I'm sorry, it's not like and it derived from like
anything French it's just two s each other.
Speaker 14 (46:17):
Like you gotta have my mom's recipe for ry sauce.
Speaker 5 (46:24):
It's one part ketchup, one part man.
Speaker 6 (46:26):
Like, what do you think of the top three Chicago foods?
Speaker 11 (46:30):
Hot?
Speaker 12 (46:31):
Yeah, Al's Italian Beef and Deep Dish pizza?
Speaker 8 (46:36):
Right?
Speaker 5 (46:37):
No?
Speaker 15 (46:38):
Actually, what did I think about lots?
Speaker 5 (46:40):
Yeah? Oh the taco noizza?
Speaker 3 (46:46):
Oh yeah, Well, like for Deep Dish, I've heard the
argument of Luma naughties versus Giordonna's okay, and oh Pea
quads Sure, there's also pea think.
Speaker 12 (46:57):
I've actually been there.
Speaker 3 (46:58):
I'm sorry, I'm very sorry. I'm very sorry.
Speaker 12 (47:01):
Don't be a jello head.
Speaker 6 (47:02):
It's peak quads is peaquants number one? I mean is
not number one?
Speaker 5 (47:09):
I like, I like a pan lose with Jared uh,
jardon era and sausage. You know, jar your your but
couldn't handle that. That your jellow head ass.
Speaker 12 (47:26):
You're gonna need some jello eat some yard there.
Speaker 5 (47:30):
I will also say, jelo to me, such a neurotic.
Speaker 6 (47:34):
Oh, it's very like it's moving.
Speaker 5 (47:37):
And it's like anything gelatinous like that.
Speaker 6 (47:42):
They serve it at hospitals. Very six. I'm not a
jello person, but I feel like people do enjoy it.
It drives me crazy because it's I think it's I
do objectively disgusting.
Speaker 3 (47:56):
My mother does a lovely pretzel jello salad. Have we
heard about this?
Speaker 6 (48:01):
This is a good thing?
Speaker 3 (48:03):
Yeah, this is a good thing. We should we should
all say what are good and bad things we should be.
Speaker 14 (48:10):
Actually, I love the Great Depression. It's such a such
a lovely era.
Speaker 3 (48:17):
Yes, pretzel jellow salad is like jello with strawberries in
it on the top, cream cheese slash whipped cream in
the middle, and like.
Speaker 5 (48:25):
Both cream cheese and.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Yeah, you whip them together. I'm kind of doing a
recipe style, like in case anyone wants to make it
right now, and then on the bottom is like a
crushed pretzel crust.
Speaker 6 (48:36):
That's what saves it. The pretzels save it, because thank god,
there's a texture and salt.
Speaker 5 (48:42):
I need a texture.
Speaker 6 (48:43):
Yes, that kind of feels like it's an English breakfast
territory where it's just like we've got the We've got
to empty the fridge. Just put it.
Speaker 12 (48:51):
Let's make that tomato hot.
Speaker 6 (48:53):
Yeah, should I open the next thing? Let's here, let's
a claire. What is the bode one? Right, okay, let's
get into this, and we've got plenty of chicken to
go around. I don't know, does anybody here want chicken? Chicken?
Speaker 8 (49:10):
Okay?
Speaker 6 (49:11):
And it doesn't seem like anyone wants chicken.
Speaker 3 (49:13):
Thread loose thread on your glove. Touch that.
Speaker 15 (49:16):
It's really catching the light. It's really catching the light.
Speaker 3 (49:20):
I wish you could all see how fucking disgusting that is.
I'm sorry. It's like a texture thing. It's a texture thing.
Speaker 6 (49:29):
This saves me at salad bars. I don't have to
use the tongs.
Speaker 5 (49:31):
I just.
Speaker 6 (49:34):
Okay, let's.
Speaker 3 (49:36):
Oh, this is a tricky, careful lift it from the top.
There's two there, there's two things in there.
Speaker 6 (49:42):
Okay, there you go.
Speaker 3 (49:43):
I just want yeah, oh, okay, okay, little disrespect. Never
met you in my life, but whatever.
Speaker 6 (49:53):
Oh it's a little sea pot.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
This is a netty pot.
Speaker 6 (49:59):
It's a pot.
Speaker 3 (50:00):
Are you familiar with the netty pots?
Speaker 6 (50:02):
I've wanted to try one for such a long time,
but have it scares me to death?
Speaker 3 (50:07):
Yes? It should. You're putting water directly into your brain
and then it comes out of the other side of
your nose. I used to be very scared of these,
and in February, I got a surgery on my nose,
and so I had to go from doing zero a
day from for my whole life, which is all of
our baselines, to four netty pots a day, four which
(50:30):
is borerline and addiction. So I was doing four natty
pots a day for a month, and then he weaned
me down to two a day. And I thought that
after three months of recovery, he would say, you don't
need any more. But I found out recently that I'm
just stuck to.
Speaker 6 (50:51):
That for life. You just have to keep to do
two a day for life.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
But here's the thing, here's why I've given it good.
It's fantastic. I am addicted to it now. It's like
when the dentist tells you, like, if you keep fossing
real fucking hard, it'll feel good. It's like that for
your nose.
Speaker 6 (51:08):
Well, but the initial time is not fun.
Speaker 3 (51:11):
No, it feels like you're drowning. It's it's never really fun.
Speaker 15 (51:16):
But because you can't, you can't prepare yourself for the sensation.
Speaker 5 (51:20):
It is unlike anything.
Speaker 6 (51:21):
Is there any way for it to go wrong? That's
my yes, how do you know? Been going wrong? And
it's just not being comfortable.
Speaker 3 (51:29):
Well, okay, so here's the main thing, and people are
on one of two camps about this. You need to
use distilled water because if you use tap water. There
was a woman who got a brain eating a meal
because brain eating a meba went into her brain via
that via the natty pot. Wasn't I'm warning you, I'm
(51:50):
wanting you know, you don't have to be that woman.
Speaker 6 (51:52):
Did you get it from a lake, but that's where.
Speaker 15 (51:55):
Water comes from?
Speaker 6 (51:57):
Yeah? Okay, so I have to.
Speaker 3 (52:00):
Go by distilled water or you can boil water and
you need to boil it for five minutes.
Speaker 6 (52:04):
Yes, and then chill.
Speaker 5 (52:05):
Yes, of course, of course I'm writing this down classic jellohad.
Speaker 3 (52:14):
It's very similar to making a cello.
Speaker 12 (52:17):
Here's the thing. If it makes you more comfortable, you
could use it as a douche.
Speaker 6 (52:22):
Why not both? And there's like a little thing inside.
Speaker 3 (52:27):
Yes, So those are your saline packets.
Speaker 6 (52:29):
Okay, you're going.
Speaker 3 (52:31):
To have to mix those in otherwise you're just putting
fucking water in your head. The saline will sort of
break down the mucus in your sinuses, and then if
you're lucky, you can see the boogers come out of
your face real time.
Speaker 5 (52:43):
Yes, very satisfying.
Speaker 6 (52:46):
Have you done it before, Brendan? But yes? Okay, Well,
how am I the only person on stage.
Speaker 12 (52:51):
You've never had a cocaine problem?
Speaker 6 (52:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (52:56):
Can I ask? Is this an officially sanctioned Nettie.
Speaker 3 (52:58):
Pot this is this is doctor yes brand?
Speaker 5 (53:04):
Well no, I only ask because my friend did get
caught selling unlicensed Nettie paa wow out of its garage.
And let me just tell you, doctor gup up very
re ligitious.
Speaker 6 (53:21):
Oh my god, whoa. So there's only one that you're
actually supposed to use? And it says Neil me the.
Speaker 12 (53:29):
Yes Neil.
Speaker 3 (53:31):
Oh my, I just fucking realized that's such a beautiful
fucking name. I don't know why, though, I feel like
you could use any any thing.
Speaker 6 (53:41):
It feels like you could just uh it's crazy straw
and faucet or something.
Speaker 15 (53:47):
No, the group des are doing something, I believe it.
Speaker 6 (53:50):
There's like a pretty recent product to market.
Speaker 3 (53:53):
Maybe the past thirty years.
Speaker 6 (53:55):
I want to say, well, they've like they upheld onto
that for thirty years. I would.
Speaker 3 (54:00):
There's also a squeeze bottle, which is what I use everything.
Speaker 6 (54:03):
Okay, so you gave me kind of.
Speaker 3 (54:05):
I gave you what I did not want for my
a N T doctor.
Speaker 6 (54:07):
So, but just for my knowledge, that has not been
used correct on video. People are going to be discussed.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
There is also Okay, so I brought that and I
was like, I'll tell my little fucking sob sign of story.
But I did bring you a fun gift.
Speaker 6 (54:23):
This, Oh is it in here? Okay?
Speaker 14 (54:28):
There were some cucumbers in mine too, that's all yours.
Kind of multiple gifts there as well.
Speaker 6 (54:36):
Oh, this is a very fun thing. Speaking of pranks, Yes,
this is a dice.
Speaker 3 (54:41):
Trick dice.
Speaker 6 (54:42):
This is all the level of writing there's a bomb
on the plane.
Speaker 3 (54:48):
It's kind of more lower stakes version of bombing a plane.
Speaker 6 (54:51):
Why did you bring trick dice?
Speaker 3 (54:53):
I just thought that was so fun. I just think
that's so fun. My best friend did get me trick
dice from Vegas, and I like cried when she got
me it because I was like, that's just so fucking sweet.
Speaker 6 (55:06):
I never used them before. She try them? Now, Yes,
let's say, actually.
Speaker 5 (55:09):
Work in what instance are you using these dice?
Speaker 3 (55:13):
Okay? So that's the great thing about the trick dice
is that if you're not a magician or someone in
a casino. It's so much more fun because no one
expects you to have them. So I will say I
didn't Okay, I will say I planned to use this
as a pickup line. Oh you, I planned to use
(55:39):
this as a last ditch resort of like to be
extra forward. If you're talking to someone and you don't
know how to seal the deal, this.
Speaker 6 (55:47):
Is the perfect way to find it.
Speaker 5 (55:48):
We're going to do it.
Speaker 3 (55:50):
Just listen, Just listen, you say this is what I
was gonna say. I was gonna say the trick dice
that I had it was like one was a loaded die.
It was all one and one was all six is
Oh fuck? I forget how I was gonna do it,
but I was seven.
Speaker 12 (56:10):
Suck my dick for a seven.
Speaker 3 (56:16):
I say something like, oh, if I roll a sticks,
you have to come home with me.
Speaker 6 (56:19):
Are you feeling okay?
Speaker 5 (56:21):
Are you feeling lucky?
Speaker 3 (56:22):
I didn't even think that. Oh my god, I did
not think it out that hard.
Speaker 5 (56:28):
Okay, you can do that.
Speaker 6 (56:31):
Okay, let's roll it. Should we?
Speaker 5 (56:32):
Uh?
Speaker 6 (56:33):
What do we think? Seven or eleven? Scream for seven?
Seven eleven? It seems like people think it's gonna be
a seven. That's gonna be embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (56:44):
Okay, oh that's spinning. That's kind of a fun trick.
Speaker 6 (56:52):
Truly, how does that work? I'm dazzled. That's like a
computer did it. This is so impressive. Now we're gonna
just kind of.
Speaker 5 (57:00):
Everything like this. I always think it's it's magnets.
Speaker 6 (57:03):
Oh yeah, ACTI connected to your score?
Speaker 3 (57:06):
Well no, you guys know it's the combination of the numbers.
Can only add up to seven or eleven. It's not magnets.
Speaker 14 (57:14):
But wait, so that dice don't even have all the
numbers on them?
Speaker 6 (57:22):
Oh six and two? I was like, how does the
one the other one?
Speaker 12 (57:28):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (57:30):
How would magnetsb go home with you?
Speaker 5 (57:35):
You guys? I don't know about this, but I did
say magnets with a lot of confidence.
Speaker 12 (57:43):
I don't even know how women are magic.
Speaker 6 (57:49):
If you want people to know how stupid you are,
just start a podcast. It will quickly be revealed. Okay,
well that's a very fun little thing, be picking up
people all over Chicago to you can just fuck city.
Speaker 5 (58:00):
Yes, okay, uh, we're and is that fox and the
thing underneath it?
Speaker 6 (58:07):
Okay? So which one should I open first?
Speaker 5 (58:09):
This is the first? The top one?
Speaker 6 (58:10):
Okay, this is this beautiful blue's that's not what's inside.
Speaker 5 (58:15):
Okay, well I'm sorry, let's see here.
Speaker 6 (58:18):
Okay, open these are samples. And also this thing hypoallergenic tape.
Speaker 5 (58:24):
It's for it's for you to cover your mouth while you.
Speaker 12 (58:26):
Sleep because you won't shut up.
Speaker 15 (58:32):
Do you guys know about this?
Speaker 5 (58:34):
It's like it's uh, it's supposed to help you force
your breathing to Oh my god, this is kind of
a thing. Is showy, but I only I TikTok. For
a while, I thought that I was like an Asian
insult and so so I was getting a lot of
like biohacking stuff right right, and so this is listen.
I am a big believer of in like products and
(58:59):
and like in the ability of products to bring you,
you know, fulfillment, and so I seek it out like
this is one I also bought, you know, and you
guys get the things that are like, are you do
you have ADHD take all these vitamins? Yeah, I bought
that too, that's in there.
Speaker 6 (59:16):
Okay, what's this is just a card?
Speaker 5 (59:18):
This is that's just the thing.
Speaker 6 (59:21):
So I creativity.
Speaker 3 (59:23):
This is this is the.
Speaker 5 (59:24):
Path that this is like Cooper movie. The vitamins their vitamins.
But this is thing. These are all samples. So I
so this is just a tip for you guys. If
you guys are brave enough to ask, people will give
you that special these like, these are all samples.
Speaker 6 (59:41):
This is from Keels. They're very they're big sample.
Speaker 5 (59:44):
Yes, they're big samples. Because I just ask, I insist and.
Speaker 6 (59:48):
Well those are two different things.
Speaker 5 (59:51):
But if you just stand there for they give you,
I'm just like I just do yees body, But.
Speaker 6 (59:57):
Where do you get this? Is there a store called
blizz Blue?
Speaker 5 (01:00:01):
Yeah? Blue, But you have to just insist, like you
got to go in there and you gotta be like,
I want that. Can you give me a sample of this?
I want a sample of that and they'll be like
that's a lot. I was like, yes, a conditioner.
Speaker 6 (01:00:14):
Condition this is very expensive.
Speaker 5 (01:00:16):
This is like this is like value.
Speaker 6 (01:00:19):
Oh my god, I'm going to be a new person.
And then this, this is from Korea.
Speaker 5 (01:00:23):
This is there. This will feel like needles on your face.
Speaker 6 (01:00:27):
You have to stick them in your face.
Speaker 5 (01:00:28):
No, no, no, it's a it's a topical solution where it
will feel like there are needles in your face. That's
that's k beauty right there. What does that feel like
like needles going into your face?
Speaker 14 (01:00:43):
Bridge, I'm so excited for you to look like a
Korean woman.
Speaker 5 (01:00:49):
I just got back from Korea and it's it is
the beauty standard there is so insane.
Speaker 6 (01:00:53):
Oh well, the SPF alone.
Speaker 5 (01:00:55):
True are very popular.
Speaker 6 (01:00:58):
Oh prepare in particular, I think would really take.
Speaker 12 (01:01:00):
Off, you know, like a woman driving a convertible.
Speaker 5 (01:01:05):
Dupin like that.
Speaker 6 (01:01:08):
But the only free uh sample I am aware of
that I should get the word out is Seize candy.
If you go to Seize candies, they have to give
you a free sample, and you can select any type
you want. Don't let them push the uh the raspberry
fudge on. You get whatever you want, they have to
give it to you.
Speaker 15 (01:01:23):
I would say that any store you can get a
free sample.
Speaker 6 (01:01:27):
If you have a gun.
Speaker 15 (01:01:31):
Now, I'm just saying, like any.
Speaker 5 (01:01:32):
Sort of situation like that where it's sort of like
there's things in bulk, of course you have to sample.
Excuse me, yes, in this economy, come on, ask I have.
Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
That justification, Just like that's in bulk.
Speaker 6 (01:01:44):
You have to give so many of them. I see
the bulk before me.
Speaker 5 (01:01:50):
Give me one, just share.
Speaker 12 (01:01:52):
I have a friend who works in pr in fashion.
Sorry brag.
Speaker 6 (01:01:56):
Oh god.
Speaker 14 (01:01:58):
And back when I used to have an active career,
he used to send me Abercrombie and Fitch stuff. And
now I still sometimes will be like, hey, can I
get some more Abercrombie and Fitch? And I get a
package of Abercrombia fish every six months.
Speaker 12 (01:02:10):
Yes, and Fitch.
Speaker 5 (01:02:13):
This is the in Obama said, the audacity to hope, right,
I'm talking about the audacity to ask. Just ask. You'd
be surprised, guys.
Speaker 6 (01:02:25):
I feel like people, especially with ice cream samples, get
really sensitive about They're like, you shouldn't do.
Speaker 5 (01:02:30):
That, Yes you should, yes, why not?
Speaker 12 (01:02:33):
You know what? Let them?
Speaker 6 (01:02:35):
Let them, thank you, thank you?
Speaker 5 (01:02:37):
Let them.
Speaker 6 (01:02:38):
That's kind of my philosophy. I thought of that. Let's
get this podcast up on the charts. Someone's having a problem,
let them. Yeah, genius advice.
Speaker 14 (01:02:49):
If someone hates your guts, let them.
Speaker 6 (01:02:54):
If somebody's bleeding, go ahead and let them their problem.
Speaker 14 (01:03:00):
You gay men make fun of Melroth Glenn and Doyle
glennon Doyle.
Speaker 12 (01:03:05):
Right, Okay, we can cut this part of the pod.
I'm more of a Vene brown stand.
Speaker 6 (01:03:12):
It shows, it really shows. Okay, I've got all my samples.
Here and now I opened this.
Speaker 5 (01:03:17):
Yes, please please, I wrote on the outside.
Speaker 6 (01:03:21):
Let's see it says to Bridger, may every uh neck,
every neck you sip on behavior. I like that.
Speaker 5 (01:03:31):
I like that.
Speaker 6 (01:03:31):
Wonderful, happy to do it's okay, sorry, okay did you
think of that? This is tough?
Speaker 5 (01:03:37):
So beautiful? Thank you?
Speaker 6 (01:03:41):
Oh yes, the American Mirage. Wait this is your book?
Speaker 15 (01:03:45):
Okay what kim right?
Speaker 12 (01:03:48):
This is not me.
Speaker 6 (01:03:50):
It's like I thought I knew. It's like, this is
so embarrassing for me.
Speaker 5 (01:03:54):
No, this is what's crazy. So this is UNGI kim
my doppelganger on the internet. Yes, she's a sociologist. So
she started going to Harvard when I started doing improv.
Speaker 6 (01:04:09):
That's a tough. That's tough.
Speaker 15 (01:04:11):
And so I've really watched both of our careers.
Speaker 5 (01:04:17):
And not that one is better than the other. I
got a commercial, she got into the Annenberg School of Communication.
She graduated from Harvard. I made a house team at I.
Oh she yeah, Now she teaches at Columbia and all
this stuff. It's like it's really really wonderful. And the
(01:04:37):
thing is she because I started doing improv, I started,
I I have a I'm on a database of improvisers.
Speaker 15 (01:04:45):
Sure, it's called Chicago dot improv dot whatever.
Speaker 6 (01:04:48):
And check it out.
Speaker 5 (01:04:49):
Because my name, because my name is in there. My
I am the first Ungi Kim to show up.
Speaker 6 (01:04:55):
Wow, I'm Google this is she must be so many
she's Oh my god.
Speaker 5 (01:05:01):
She's furious, furious. She started paying someone to push her.
Speaker 12 (01:05:07):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (01:05:08):
I don't blame her. I don't blame her. She is
the better on G.
Speaker 6 (01:05:13):
But but she's still losing until she gets number one.
Speaker 5 (01:05:17):
I mean she's very close with this book, I hope, so,
I mean, this is why I think I initially kind
of was like a hater, like she was like a
nemesis of mine, you know. And now because she's doing
so well, I'm realizing I should really be a bigger person.
Speaker 6 (01:05:30):
And uh no no no no no no no no
no keep attack attack attack. Have you read the book?
Speaker 14 (01:05:40):
No?
Speaker 8 (01:05:40):
What's like?
Speaker 6 (01:05:42):
This is a deeply jealous person.
Speaker 14 (01:05:46):
Giving Giving someone a book is a chore. Here's a
book I didn't read.
Speaker 6 (01:05:52):
But you, I mean, you put some money in her pocket.
Speaker 5 (01:05:54):
I did. This is the This is so psychotic. Okay.
I pre ordered the book because she said that she
was going to sign it, and I want her to
write my name.
Speaker 6 (01:06:14):
Did you do it?
Speaker 8 (01:06:15):
No?
Speaker 5 (01:06:19):
This is what I mean, Like, she's smart, why she
went to Harvard? This how.
Speaker 6 (01:06:26):
But this actually is something that I might want to read.
Speaker 15 (01:06:29):
It is very fascinating. I read the back of it.
Speaker 6 (01:06:34):
The back is just praise for the book. It's not even.
Speaker 5 (01:06:39):
And it's just fuel for me.
Speaker 6 (01:06:42):
Oh what reality shows are you three watching right now?
Speaker 3 (01:06:46):
I am watch? I did just begin Mormon Lives of Mormon.
Speaker 6 (01:06:50):
This is the eternal problem for this show. That was
bad producing on their part. No one will ever really
know the name of the show, Secret Lives of Mormon.
Let's all say it together, cries we got it. I
think we got it. Oh so you started that?
Speaker 3 (01:07:10):
I did. I got to episode two, I think.
Speaker 6 (01:07:12):
Of season two.
Speaker 3 (01:07:13):
Watch there's a second time.
Speaker 6 (01:07:15):
You've got a very, very long road.
Speaker 3 (01:07:18):
I am blown away the pacing of the first episode.
I could not believe.
Speaker 14 (01:07:23):
Well the buck line, Richard, I'm so maxed out on
Salt Lake City on my television. Like they're always like,
We're hosting this cute event, this event space in Salt
Lake and I'm like, this is a fucking Benny Hannah,
Like this is Bennegan's You fucking idiots.
Speaker 6 (01:07:44):
They really are going to like the skating rink I
went to in middle school. Right, it's not impressed like.
Speaker 12 (01:07:50):
You're in a book. It abpo man like this is
not some cool restaurant.
Speaker 15 (01:07:54):
But they all look incredible.
Speaker 5 (01:07:56):
It looks I know, I when I I I visited
my friend out in Salt Lake and I couldn't help
but notice, like all the medi spas boat like.
Speaker 6 (01:08:06):
Kind of South Korea.
Speaker 5 (01:08:09):
I thought it was strange. I thought I thought it
was strange, and I looked it up. It is the place.
It's even more than South Korea really with passive surgery
per capital, per capita, not overall, you know, but because
it's like it's is every street strip.
Speaker 6 (01:08:22):
Mall, your young everywhere. It's everywhere, but it was really
your beauty lab and laser most of all. I've been
there a number of times and never gotten a treatment.
I just go and get my picture taken if you
for those of you do who don't know, one of
the Salt Lake City housewives owns a chain of beauty lamps.
Speaker 5 (01:08:43):
What would we call them meddie spots.
Speaker 6 (01:08:45):
Meds spots. You've just said med spots. And I've been
there over and over. They have kind of a Soviet feel.
If you go in them, it's a little like this
is medical care. What's going on? But Heathergay reach out?
Speaker 5 (01:08:59):
Uh, I love that though. I love all those Because
all the mommy bloggers are Mormons.
Speaker 6 (01:09:04):
There's a very weird Utah has a secret shadow grip
on the country. It's true through mommy bloggers.
Speaker 5 (01:09:11):
And any any mommy blogger that you followed that has
more than three children, Investigate, investigate. I did it, and
I did uncovered a lot of Mormons. I'm just saying,
I'm like, how are they having six kids in New York?
Study Paul, Yeah, the Mormon I do think.
Speaker 6 (01:09:27):
I was just telling somebody there's we need to launch
a streaming platform for purely Utah content. There is so
much at this point that everybody's loving it. Good for us,
finally we do something right. Everyone's shaking their heads.
Speaker 5 (01:09:39):
I'm just saying, I'm gonna start this jello head slander.
Speaker 6 (01:09:42):
It's gonna destroy all of the goodwill.
Speaker 14 (01:09:45):
You just want to like full of fade, done away
and network. You're like, we'll get a five share.
Speaker 6 (01:09:52):
Okay. Was there anything left to say about the gifts?
I've had some chicken. It was it's backstage. I've got
the netty pot for the future. I will experiment some samples.
I'm starting my life over. Yeah.
Speaker 15 (01:10:07):
I love buying stuff and thinking you're gonna be like
a different person.
Speaker 6 (01:10:10):
Oh yeah, that illusion at least on the drive home.
Speaker 5 (01:10:13):
I bought a book on It's called Healing Trauma Through Writing, and.
Speaker 6 (01:10:19):
It was.
Speaker 5 (01:10:23):
Get you know again. I read the back of it.
I guess I'm kind of revealing myself to not be
able to read. But you can hope, and that's important. Well,
I think we should play a game. We're gonna play
Gift or a Curse.
Speaker 6 (01:10:38):
Let me get my computer open here, and this is
I'll probably have to take the glove off in order
to access my computer. Oh god, I do set the
mic down. This is why you need a producer. You
can't travel alone.
Speaker 14 (01:10:49):
Like forty five minutes later, but oh.
Speaker 3 (01:10:55):
You got the touch id. Motherfucker got the touch id.
Speaker 14 (01:10:59):
Because it's like you give a kid a controller and
you're like, you're playing the game.
Speaker 12 (01:11:05):
There's no computer there. Bridge he's staring at a blank screen.
Speaker 6 (01:11:12):
Okay, could we get the slides if that is an option?
This is how we play Gift or a Curse. I
don't know how this is even gonna play out.
Speaker 3 (01:11:20):
What can you mean by that?
Speaker 6 (01:11:21):
Oh they're over here? Well the technology, Wait, these are
don't look at that. You're getting too much information. You're
getting too much information?
Speaker 12 (01:11:32):
Oh god, you okay?
Speaker 6 (01:11:33):
What is this?
Speaker 12 (01:11:34):
So I had a few drinks?
Speaker 6 (01:11:39):
Take it to go? No, this is how we play
gift a curse. I'm going to name some things and
you're going to tell me if they're a gift or
a curse, and why then I'll tell you if you're
right a wrong and you're competing against each other, so be
as blood thirsty as possible. Number one, and you've already
seen the picture, which is such a shame gift or
a curse? Watching a stranger's car. Get toad and you
(01:12:00):
can go first.
Speaker 5 (01:12:02):
Gift, Why is a gift?
Speaker 6 (01:12:05):
Tell me why? Oh well you don't tell me why?
Speaker 5 (01:12:08):
Well it's also I at a point in my life
got a parking ticket every day and I was working
at a a like a telephone like call center, and
I was late every day, and I parked in a
spot I wasn't supposed to every day, and I got
a fifty dollars ticket every day, and and I didn't
(01:12:33):
pay it every day. So I got my car towed
pretty regular, right, And so I've experienced this.
Speaker 15 (01:12:40):
And I've seen people and the way they like.
Speaker 5 (01:12:43):
The sort of like pity and like the contempts. It's
all I'm mixed in is they watched me kind of
like frantically, you know, beg the driver please stop, you know,
and you know, I'm just like, I'm just a little girl,
you know. So I think it's just like it would
(01:13:05):
be a gift for me to see that live. I'm
gonna be on the other side of the bar, right,
but I don't have Sean Freud. It's just, you know,
just that's a more personal thing.
Speaker 6 (01:13:16):
Claire, what do you think?
Speaker 3 (01:13:17):
Oh, I'm answering about the same one.
Speaker 6 (01:13:19):
I would hope. So okay, I'm gonna start stalking the stage,
by the way, just to make this a little more
high stakes.
Speaker 3 (01:13:25):
Oh god, it's really Bizarry.
Speaker 5 (01:13:32):
It's so menacing.
Speaker 3 (01:13:37):
I would say, like the tunic, this looks like you're
about to ask us to like drink kool aid a.
Speaker 14 (01:13:49):
You legitimately look like you've been institutionalized.
Speaker 3 (01:13:56):
Claire, quit dodging, so sorry, so sorry. I guess I
would say a curse just because I feel bad for them.
I don't drive. I never got my license because I'm
scared of it. Thank you, thank you. I'm not gonna
(01:14:18):
be a little too proud. Forty two never drove. We're
two bitches.
Speaker 5 (01:14:24):
Because you're afraid.
Speaker 3 (01:14:25):
I'm scared of it.
Speaker 8 (01:14:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:14:27):
I took the driver's tests and everything, but when I
got behind the wheel, it just scares the fuck out
of me.
Speaker 6 (01:14:33):
It's a very scary thing.
Speaker 5 (01:14:34):
I would say this. I've been in a lot of accidents.
Speaker 3 (01:14:38):
Okay, that's why I'm scared.
Speaker 5 (01:14:40):
Let me just say this. All of them might fall.
It's okay, it's fine, it's crazy, it's okay, are very safe.
Speaker 3 (01:14:51):
Okay, thank you.
Speaker 12 (01:14:53):
This this will now basically drive themselves.
Speaker 3 (01:14:58):
So I guess I think I don't know enough. I
when I hear anything about cars like turn off, and
I'm like, I don't drive it. I don't know that shit.
So I don't really know think about this. But I'll
say curse because I guess that makes me feel bad.
Speaker 6 (01:15:09):
Okay, okay, okay, Brendan.
Speaker 12 (01:15:11):
I'm gonna say curse.
Speaker 14 (01:15:13):
And here's why I have studied Buddhism, and I only
bring it up to brack and and in Buddhism, you
want no harm, to do it throughout the day, to
do no harm on yourself and no harm on others.
And if someone is getting towed, that is a harmful
day for them. And I have too much empathy to
(01:15:34):
witness something like that. I refuse to read the news.
I am. I'm completely oblivious to what's going on. People
are like, have you seen the markets? And I'm like
our peaches in season? And uh, And that's because my
empathy is too deep.
Speaker 6 (01:15:53):
Okay, But like.
Speaker 3 (01:15:56):
What if the tow truck driver was going to lose
his job if he didn't toe that car?
Speaker 12 (01:15:59):
Though it's so real, that's why I can't see it.
I get you. I just a man trying to do
his job in America.
Speaker 6 (01:16:08):
The answer is cursed, curse. I genuinely think towing a
car is maybe top three things worse things humans have
learned to do to each other. What an evil concept.
Speaker 14 (01:16:21):
When I'm driving and there's a car in in I
don't know if it's like this in Chicago, but there
are lanes during traffic time, high traffic time, there are
for no parking, and when somebody leaves their car in
them and we have to all go around it.
Speaker 12 (01:16:36):
I'm like, tell.
Speaker 6 (01:16:40):
It.
Speaker 14 (01:16:41):
Or if somebody parks in a handicap can I can
you still say that? If someone parks in a differently
abled spot, tell it.
Speaker 6 (01:16:52):
If somebody parks so I.
Speaker 12 (01:16:54):
Like the pacing two.
Speaker 6 (01:16:57):
Keep the audience on their tones. Uh, I understand this,
But there should be a sign they put in the
car to let us know. This is why it wasn't
just somebody was having a hard day.
Speaker 12 (01:17:10):
What let's go, Diva.
Speaker 6 (01:17:15):
The signs in the car? Whilese they're towing it.
Speaker 14 (01:17:21):
Sh I am obsessed with you.
Speaker 12 (01:17:27):
There are signs.
Speaker 6 (01:17:30):
Are you a tow truck driver?
Speaker 12 (01:17:31):
There are signs right in a park.
Speaker 6 (01:17:33):
It's happening. You have the tow truck lobby in the
audience tonight. Okay, well, are you got that wrong? So
you've fallen behind? Okay? Number two gift or a curse?
Concert footage on phones?
Speaker 5 (01:17:50):
Concert? Oh, this is a curse. This is the curse.
This is the curse.
Speaker 14 (01:17:56):
What are you doing with all that footage? How much
day do you have? Is it in the cloud? How
are you You're getting screwed over by big data if
you're paying to back up all that concerts?
Speaker 3 (01:18:09):
I just want to meet the person who's going home
and watching it, like, who's like I can't wait to
get back into that T Swift concert. I mean, I
guess she made a movie of hers.
Speaker 6 (01:18:19):
But okay, and Andrew.
Speaker 15 (01:18:23):
Oh, I just I will say this, the etiquette a.
Speaker 5 (01:18:26):
Concert when they're doing that right, it's just like you're
fucking it up for the rest of us. Yes, And also.
Speaker 3 (01:18:33):
Yeah, she's filming from the crowd the rest of us.
Speaker 12 (01:18:38):
I feel like we're like a town hall. We're getting
people riled up.
Speaker 6 (01:18:42):
One of these people will be president.
Speaker 5 (01:18:45):
And I will also say this, like there's something about
experiencing music like that live, you know that it can
be very spiritual. For me, I went to go see
New Kids on the Block and and I am not
a really just person, and to be in n mass
like that in community with a bunch of other middle
(01:19:10):
aged women and they're upset daughters, it's just really incredible.
And like the thing is like they're missing out on
it right just because they're looking at their phone. I
will say, I think they shall lock it up. Lock
it up.
Speaker 14 (01:19:23):
There are some concerts where people aren't doing it, Like
I went to a Regina Spector concert recently. Everyone sat
the whole concert. Oh big arena, everyone's sitting. I was like,
I'm obsessed with the Regina inspectors fans being.
Speaker 12 (01:19:38):
Like, we're not standing, we're sitting.
Speaker 5 (01:19:41):
Wait did she did?
Speaker 4 (01:19:41):
She?
Speaker 15 (01:19:42):
Did she stop all like bar service as well.
Speaker 5 (01:19:44):
During the show.
Speaker 12 (01:19:46):
I don't I don't drink.
Speaker 14 (01:19:48):
Okay, well, okay, it's because I was too fun.
Speaker 17 (01:20:00):
Yift.
Speaker 6 (01:20:01):
It's a gift. This is what I'm gonna say. I understand,
but I think everybody should be allowed twenty seconds to
just film. It's your favorite song, get your little bit,
and then put your phone away. I think there's nothing
wrong with that if you get to take one picture,
twenty seconds of footage, and then you've got a little
gift for later. People standing there and are doing a no,
(01:20:22):
I need you. You're the ones to have to learn
these people agree with me. No, absolutely not. I want
to look. You're both all three of you in the eyes. Gift, gift, gift, wrong,
it's a gift. Okay.
Speaker 12 (01:20:35):
So I guess when I went.
Speaker 3 (01:20:37):
I saw a concert recently, and I did feel so
guilty that I just like try to like sneak a pick,
so I only have blurry fucking photos.
Speaker 6 (01:20:44):
That's okay, that's all you need, thank you, that's all.
Speaker 5 (01:20:46):
Yes, you know, I just I know, I think I
don't even have I don't have pictures of my children's
birthdays because I'm so present.
Speaker 6 (01:20:59):
Okay, let's get to the next one. This is the
final one. Gift or a curse, the unexplored depths of
the ocean.
Speaker 5 (01:21:08):
Curse. Curse?
Speaker 6 (01:21:10):
Why curse?
Speaker 5 (01:21:12):
Well, I mean we all know it's we all know
that's that's where that's that's where the evil is, right, uh,
but we know, like that's like it's like it's very hot,
and I think I mean the way that that's the
primordial soup, right, that's like out of which a dinosaur come. Like,
I don't know, don't thank you. It's very dangerous. It's
(01:21:33):
like to me, the vastness of space is I would
prefer to explode into like a million pieces into the
atmosphere versus being slowly crushed as I get into the darkness,
you know what I mean, Like James Cameron, Shit.
Speaker 14 (01:21:51):
No, it's actually also not slow. It happens really quickly.
Remember when we were trying to find it, trying to
find those people out, Oh.
Speaker 6 (01:21:59):
Yeah, to the old.
Speaker 12 (01:22:06):
It was like my butthole at the Grabby's.
Speaker 6 (01:22:14):
Do you have answers?
Speaker 3 (01:22:15):
I will say gift just because imagine the screensavers way
so cute and beautiful. The screensavers that we're getting with
current ocean ship that we found gorgeous. Imagine if we
get a camera down there, screensaver, bridger screensaver, what are
(01:22:36):
your computer screensaver?
Speaker 6 (01:22:40):
Submarine.
Speaker 12 (01:22:43):
I'm gonna say it's a gift.
Speaker 14 (01:22:45):
And here's why I am a history buff and I
love history. I love learning about all the different eras.
And there were so many shipwrecks and when we explore
the depths of the ocean, we find the shipwrecks, and
we learned so much about how humans used to lived.
Speaker 5 (01:23:00):
Come to show off, but that okay, but that what
you're describing are is not the depths. It's not the
Mariana Trench.
Speaker 15 (01:23:09):
It's not you're you're describing sort of like the lighter side.
Speaker 3 (01:23:13):
Right if the la of oceans, if a boat got
that deep, it was trying to go that deep, it was.
Speaker 6 (01:23:24):
Well the correct answer gifts. I love that they unexplored
depths of the ocean. The mystery, the intrigue, the romance,
who knows what's in there? Could be really fun.
Speaker 5 (01:23:35):
Romance the Romans. How do you know the romance the
Heart of the Ocean? I heard the heart of Teffedi? Yeah,
I heard about it.
Speaker 12 (01:23:46):
Do you say Taffedi?
Speaker 5 (01:23:47):
Yeah, it's Mahana. But it's just like, what, who are
you romancing in there?
Speaker 6 (01:23:57):
We don't know. We gotta bring the.
Speaker 3 (01:23:58):
Dice, bring the trick dice. Trying to fuck someone in
the depth ocean?
Speaker 5 (01:24:02):
Oh my god, what if you tricked the.
Speaker 3 (01:24:04):
Fish in you in the depth of the ocean and
I got a screen saver of it. I can't wait, and.
Speaker 6 (01:24:15):
You completely lost the game.
Speaker 5 (01:24:19):
But that's an elite group, every single one wrong.
Speaker 6 (01:24:23):
Claire and Brendan. You kind of just did a wishy
washy So that's nothing to be proud of either.
Speaker 12 (01:24:28):
Shut up, you Mormon pieces ship.
Speaker 6 (01:24:31):
It's a yellow mouth. Thank you. Well, I don't we're
not answering a question. These are they? We had some
beautiful in depth answers here. We've got some gorgeous gifts.
I'm we're gonna we're gonna wrap this up. I can't
drive you. I need to respect your time. I'll go
for another hour and a half. Let's see how you feel.
I can't I can't in good conscience as someone who
(01:24:54):
will leave a three hour movie an hour and a
half in. It's a good trick. I'm you gotta try it.
I can't go over an hour and a half. That's
you know. I've everyone the bad ratings that would come
in for the podcast. It would crush me. So this
is we're gonna this is such a sad.
Speaker 8 (01:25:11):
Way and.
Speaker 12 (01:25:16):
Trying to land the plane.
Speaker 5 (01:25:18):
I'm like, are you a kind of announced some.
Speaker 12 (01:25:21):
Sort of transitioning into an.
Speaker 3 (01:25:25):
He's the guy who on the plane?
Speaker 6 (01:25:27):
You're gonna answer one listener question. We'll answer a quick
Oh good, Okay, let's get into the doc. Okay, okay,
this is a good this is a good question, and
we don't know who it's from. Okay, hello Bridger and
Conniving guest, this I mean the rudeness? Ah, I twenty
(01:25:49):
nine female cannot stop thinking about and missing my ex.
It's driving me crazy. How can I move on and
get over him? And to not put a name? This
is a dangerous email.
Speaker 3 (01:26:01):
Is this person here?
Speaker 6 (01:26:03):
Uh no, well, we don't know. Suddenly there's like a
target on my head.
Speaker 12 (01:26:09):
Sort of a universal feeling.
Speaker 6 (01:26:13):
Let's how do we help this person who is a
danger to themselves and another person.
Speaker 5 (01:26:19):
I mean, according to you, they should go to the
depths of the ocean.
Speaker 6 (01:26:24):
If they're a billionaire. If they're a billionaire, send them
down and see what happens.
Speaker 3 (01:26:28):
Uh did they say how long it had been?
Speaker 6 (01:26:31):
No, they didn't give enough. They didn't get you know,
they were tight with the email. They didn't have a
lot to spend on this email. So oh, it felt
like you were going to say something.
Speaker 14 (01:26:42):
I kind of feel like I have this philosophy. It's
called let you, And basically it's like, if you are
fixated on your ax, let you.
Speaker 12 (01:26:50):
Be, yeh, let you be. What's the worst that could happen?
Speaker 14 (01:26:54):
You think about them forever, and then you don't meet
somebody new.
Speaker 12 (01:26:57):
Let you let you?
Speaker 5 (01:27:01):
I would agree. I would let yourself wallow and like
really do the deep dive on Insta, like do all
the stuff that you know is bad, like get there,
be depressed, go dog.
Speaker 6 (01:27:11):
I still do.
Speaker 12 (01:27:13):
I still do check ups on my eyes.
Speaker 15 (01:27:14):
I would say, you put in a like.
Speaker 5 (01:27:17):
An event, you put in an alarm into your phone
a week, three days? What have you?
Speaker 15 (01:27:22):
And you fucking when a ding ding dings?
Speaker 6 (01:27:25):
You're done?
Speaker 5 (01:27:26):
I just I would say that, like truly, Like there's
something about crossing me off on.
Speaker 15 (01:27:30):
A task list that is so erotic that I think.
Speaker 6 (01:27:38):
That.
Speaker 5 (01:27:38):
I think, like, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3 (01:27:41):
Trying to figure out how I would set an alarm
on my phone for a week from today.
Speaker 5 (01:27:46):
You put it in your g COL Honey, what are
you worry about?
Speaker 3 (01:27:49):
I'm young and stupid. I have my iPhone alarm and
that's all I have is my calendar.
Speaker 6 (01:27:54):
But then the alarm will go off, Yes, of course,
like ding dings. How are you doing this? Pot? Guess
everyone wants to know. It's a good question.
Speaker 5 (01:28:05):
If you're not using gCO. But yeah, I think you
have to allow yourself like a week whatever. For everyone,
it's a little different. Yeah, but I think that allowing
yourself to just be as gross as possible.
Speaker 3 (01:28:14):
Yeah, I have heard that that's a good method to
purge it out.
Speaker 5 (01:28:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:28:17):
Also, you could find somebody new to obsess over, and
somebody else find a new target the x before this one.
Speaker 6 (01:28:26):
Oh that's a cherry move. I'm back.
Speaker 12 (01:28:31):
She's thinking I'm bad.
Speaker 6 (01:28:35):
Thinking about ya.
Speaker 5 (01:28:36):
I mean, you guys know this right, Like on your
Instagram stories, when you start clocking that stuff, you're like, oh,
something happened when you see like an old axe like
kind of like popping up again. And you know what
I mean, You're like, oh, something happened and I love it.
Speaker 12 (01:28:48):
What do you mean like somebody's dead? What do you mean.
Speaker 3 (01:28:52):
They logged into his Instagram to see who he knows.
Speaker 5 (01:28:54):
No, it's just like either they broke up, like he's
fallen on hard times, you know, like I that's a job,
Like something's that going good? And he's returned to look
at your stories the scene.
Speaker 6 (01:29:08):
Okay, that seems right. Yeah, it seems to engage with
your content. That's good.
Speaker 5 (01:29:13):
It's just it is. Yeah, there's something about that feels
really good though.
Speaker 3 (01:29:17):
To you it feels good.
Speaker 5 (01:29:18):
No, but like if you ever want to wound up
on like the they're like mother in law's like Instagram
page or whatever.
Speaker 3 (01:29:24):
Yeah, sure no, especially if they're old.
Speaker 5 (01:29:29):
They don't know how to make it private.
Speaker 6 (01:29:32):
Andie this is being recorded, this won't be published. Audience.
Oh yeah, I feel like I feel like they got
their answer. Get over him, come on psycho on that note. Everybody.
(01:29:52):
I'm so glad you could come here. I'm so thrilled,
and I wish there was another way to end a
podcasts other than to say it's over, let's just do
one more question.
Speaker 7 (01:30:05):
Yeah, I'm just being conscious of your feelings.
Speaker 6 (01:30:09):
That's more physical.
Speaker 12 (01:30:10):
I'm my next shows not till ten, so I have
like a little bit of time. I have one I'm
just gonna show at nine thirty, so this will be
the last one.
Speaker 6 (01:30:18):
Okay, this will be the last one, and look at it.
He's an advocate for you, and as am I just
in a different way, a different way. Okay, this one.
This is more gift oriented, and this is says I
am a dog groomer and like to give my clients
small gifts during the holidays. I'm giving you and I
and guest and producer on Lisa's not here Onalas doesn't
get to help head start at brainstorming. Okay, so this
(01:30:40):
person is lazy. I usually do a small ornament with
a pick of their dog and a card. I feel
like the pick of a dog gift is getting redundant.
So I've seen groomers do own other copying people. So
I've seen groomers do nose print or paw ornaments. Do
you have any new and fun ideas for gifts for
your specific that are specific to your love pet. Thank you,
and that's from E.
Speaker 14 (01:30:59):
Yeah, we should have ended the show about that.
Speaker 6 (01:31:04):
I got an absolute Now we're.
Speaker 14 (01:31:05):
Just giving advice to a small business owner. The tariffs
are gonna kill you mean order the soap.
Speaker 6 (01:31:12):
Now, this person is what are we supposed to say?
Those are all of the dog and pet things you
could possibly I mean they are collecting the dog's fur
around the place.
Speaker 5 (01:31:26):
And what do you want them to do with that?
Speaker 6 (01:31:28):
Stick with me that it's all in the drain collecting.
We're creating a gorgeous little personalized This is all the
dog here I collected over the year of your dog.
There we go, we clap. We're excited about this idea.
Speaker 14 (01:31:43):
Thank you all so much for coming to Bridges little
showgo so gross.
Speaker 6 (01:31:52):
Do you have any ideas, like you have a single
I didn't hear a single idea I know.
Speaker 3 (01:31:59):
Oh my god, this is like, this is what I
always would to wish for on Christmas, that you would
come home and they'd be like, Santa left one more gift.
I can't believe you're Santa.
Speaker 6 (01:32:09):
Santa came back. Okay, okay, oh let's see this is great. Okay,
this is how did this get on St. Okay, this
is oh sweetness. Anyone who struggles with you becoming your
best self shouldn't get a front row seat to your
glorious show. Oh oh so I'm not. I hope we're
(01:32:29):
all hearing this. This says Bridger. I don't struggle with
you becoming your best self, which is why I'm front
row for your glorious show. Oh I'm sorry about the gift,
but it's for your green bag. Oh no, this is
a big controversy you three won't know about, but I
refuse to learn. Yeah, I'm being gas lit by in
(01:32:51):
my entire audience about the color of a bag, which
is green. I'm sorry about the gift, but it's for
your green bag. No need to worry about a leaky
bought from Rachel. So let's see what's happening here.
Speaker 3 (01:33:02):
I can't believe that.
Speaker 6 (01:33:12):
Ooh, look at all of this hot sauce. This is
probably fifty packs of chilula, which.
Speaker 7 (01:33:22):
Hey, wow, if you have a bag and you don't
have hot sauce in it, why do you have a bag?
Speaker 6 (01:33:31):
It was what a lovely gift. Thank you, Rachel, wherever
you are. Oh God, bless Now I've got all my
hot sauce. I wish I should have brought the bag.
I should have brought the bag. What a shame? Wait
did I bring you?
Speaker 12 (01:33:44):
Throw that on some of the chicken?
Speaker 6 (01:33:46):
Yeah, I didn't bring the bag.
Speaker 5 (01:33:50):
I'll make it wetter.
Speaker 6 (01:33:54):
This is the end of the podcast.
Speaker 5 (01:33:57):
I love you all.
Speaker 6 (01:33:59):
Goodbye, Thank you all, thank you, thank you. I said,
no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer
is on Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed
by Ben Holliday. The theme song is by miracle Worker
(01:34:21):
Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker,
Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram at
I said no gifts, that's where you're going to see
pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't
you want to see the gifts line?
Speaker 5 (01:34:35):
Why did you hear? Gonta man?
Speaker 4 (01:34:39):
Myself perfectly clear, But you're a guest to me.
Speaker 5 (01:34:47):
You gotta come to me empty And I said, no guests, your.
Speaker 3 (01:34:54):
Presences presents and I already too much.
Speaker 5 (01:35:00):
Stop So how do
Speaker 3 (01:35:01):
You dare to surbey me?
Chicago. Please welcome Julius Steiner, as.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
That beautiful voice just said. My name is Julia. I
live here in Chicago. I play in a band called
rab Boys, and I am here to welcome you tonight
to the one and only.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I said no gifts.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
When I invited you here.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a
guess in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed.
Speaker 5 (00:51):
I said, no gifts.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
Your presences presence enough, and I already.
Speaker 6 (00:58):
Have too much.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
The so hot doie, you dude is obey me.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
And now your host riger Weineger.
Speaker 6 (01:27):
Julius Seigner.
Speaker 7 (01:28):
Oh my god, ah oh, I have to stop letting
a more talented person start the show that everybody's just
going to be miserable from for the next hour.
Speaker 6 (01:41):
Uh, Julias Signer. One more? Oh my lord, so good.
I don't deserve that. Oh oh, excuse me. I've got business.
You know this is my job. You guys all get
to have a nice time. I'm working. Welcome to I
(02:02):
said no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineger. We are in walking
distance of a Jewel Losco. I've just learned what Jewel
Losco is. This I thought I knew every grocery store.
This is the most beautiful name I've ever heard for
a grocery store. Thrilled. And then I went in and
(02:23):
it was just a Ralphs, But I was excited. I'd
like to go to a grocery store. And now I,
let's see, I just have to look at my business,
because there's some actual business I have to do tonight,
so I want to keep track of the business. Well,
first of all, I should mention Analise Nelson. Although their
voice was all of that, they weren't able to be
here tonight. I had to have them stay home and
(02:46):
feed my snakes. So you're looking at some look. I
spent most of the day trying to find a business
that had free refills. Chicago is a free refiel desert.
I couldn't believe what was happening. So, and I'm not exaggerating,
(03:06):
it was the better half of my day. So I've
been kind of my kate. My caffeine consumption has been
very all over the place. Oh this is homophobic sis
Oh god, uh. Weirdly seeing that a bunch of listeners
have actually sent me pictures. Diet Coke has been putting
Bridger on the side of cans. I have never in
(03:29):
my entire life little souvenir key chains anything that's never
a bridger. I don't know how they got hold of
the name, but I finally feel a little scene. But okay,
now we've got to get to the real business. I
keep hinting at business, and it's like, well, first, let's
see I'm trying to decide what order we should do
this business. Okay, I've got to take this off, to
(03:50):
be honest. In New York. In New York, I left
this on for two I forgot to take it off,
and I was sweating. I was so close to passing out.
So I'm gonna take this off now. If you've paid
any attention to the podcast or these live shows, you
probably aren't going to be that surprised by what's underneath
this robe. But I will say you're going to see
(04:12):
it in what I think is its final form. So
let's just let's reveal now. If everybody could be careful
about how you're looking at me, Okay, we've gone day tonight. Uh.
This started out as a white kiki sole tunic. Oh god,
(04:35):
it feels like it's shorter and shorter all the time.
But I died this. I put it in the black
die bath, and while I was dying, I truly thought
this is going to come out like black velvet. People
are gonna think I bought a little black dress. And
then I pulled it out and it's kind of a
dark green I don't know, kind of Miami night, I
(04:59):
don't know. Okay, Now the business I keep hinting at
the business. Last night I got a message from a
listener named Mike. He said he was going to be
here tonight with his wife, Hannah, and he wanted me
to deliver a message to Hannah. Hannah he wants a divorce. No,
(05:21):
it's her birthday, so I you know, I couldn't resist.
Happy birthday, Hannah, wherever you are. And I heard through
the grapevine that somebody else's birthday was someone else had
a birthday. But this is not the birthday podcast. So
happy birthday to all of us. We'll have each everybody
has one this year. Good for you. Okay, Now we're
(05:44):
getting back to the business, just to make make sure
we're on track. Here, we got happy birthday. Let's see.
I think we've basically talked about everything we I did.
I was recently alerted that this is the there's a
gay porn awards going on tonight, which the Grabby's and
(06:07):
it's uh h, I said, no gifts locked out again.
It's a tough Uh. I mean, what what more do
I need to do for these people? Look as I had,
the podcast has an explicit rating. There's maybe next year. Uh,
let's have Julia come back. Julia come back out just
for another minute or two. Julia are you there? Oh
(06:29):
my god, do you have something? Oh? No, well, this
is embarrassing for her after the big performance falls on
her face. Should I open this here on the podcast?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (06:43):
I love this teal green just littering, littering all over
the stage. Look at you've done to me. You're embarrassing
me in front of listeners. Oh my god, it's the
Beatles for babies. What tell me what's going on here?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
It's a small gift, small power babies. This is happy
baby Beetles for babies.
Speaker 6 (07:12):
Where did you get this?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I got that at a community wide garage cell.
Speaker 6 (07:16):
Oh as you do?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Uh huh, And it's very soothing.
Speaker 6 (07:20):
It's is it just is it like xylophone beetles wondering
what are they doing?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
You'll just have to listen to to find out.
Speaker 6 (07:28):
I hate the picture on this, do yao. One of
the babies has sunglasses on, like a John Lennon type sunglass,
which will make you dislike any baby.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
It might be John.
Speaker 6 (07:40):
Oh what did I say?
Speaker 3 (07:41):
It might be John?
Speaker 5 (07:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (07:42):
I think that is gen John had those kind of annoying,
let's be honest, annoying sunglasses from a young age. Yeah,
at a young age. Well, I'm excited to listen to this.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Please enjoy.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Yeah, it'll bring you much peace and joy.
Speaker 6 (07:54):
Oh I can't. I mean I've been using a white
noise machine at the hotel. We're across the street from
a club. Yeah, no, no, this is okay, fantastic happy
baby beatles for babies. Well, I look forward to listening
to this. Thank you and thank you again for the song.
Thank you for having me, Julia Signer. Everybody. Now I
(08:15):
have to go out into the audience and bother people.
Thank you. Okay, So now this is the part, and
I think we're on track. I'm here completely alone and
look at this. I'm doing this all on my own.
I finally grew up. I think it's time for audience
gift or a curse. Unless I'm missing something and anyone
can tell me if I've missed something. I've got to go,
(08:37):
and I've got to collect people from the audience. But
tonight to kind of assuage my guilt of not being
able to pick every single person, I'll hand out some
of these things while I go, some gift wrap and
T shirts. Let's see here. Okay, Oh, this is a
bad thing. I'm gonna go. Ah. Would you like to
(08:59):
come up? What's your name, Kristen? Kristen enterstage. Here's a
T shirt. Okay, let's see here, just prowling the audience, prowling, prowling, prowling.
Let's see here. You can have a T shirt. Let's
(09:21):
see here. Hm. Now, this is where people love this.
People love to just feel like they're being hunted. Here's
some gift rap. Would you like to come up? Okay,
what's your name?
Speaker 8 (09:35):
Rick?
Speaker 6 (09:36):
Get on stage?
Speaker 8 (09:36):
Rick.
Speaker 6 (09:37):
Okay, Now we've got to get into the let's see here.
Let's see here. I want to You know, you gotta dig.
You gotta dig and dig into the audience. You never
know who you're gonna find. You can have some gift wrap.
You can have a gift you asked politely. Would you
(09:59):
like to come up? What's your name? Cezi Susie? Enter stage?
Raget one more, Let's see here, let's go, let's stop
over here, Let's see here. Bup bup, bup buh. Some
people look really scared. And if you don't want to
do the show, I mean, it's totally fine. Let's see here.
(10:23):
Would you like to do it? What's your name?
Speaker 8 (10:25):
Neat?
Speaker 6 (10:26):
Okay, enter stage. Here's some gift trap. Okay, I've got
one more some uh, let's see. I have to go
to the other side to give this away because I
feel like I neglected all of you, and it's terrible.
It's really I don't want people mad at me, but
I here's some gift rap. You're welcome, okay, so everyone's
(10:48):
gonna be behind me. We're gonna play gift or a curse.
And I got these earlier today. I got on Instagram
Live and I should not be allowed on that. No
one has ever known less how to do Instagram Live.
It's mortifying every time. But listeners gave some suggestions and
people are I don't know. I think I just underestimate.
(11:10):
I think I'm stupid. People are like they just immediately
have all of these great suggestions that feel for me.
I'm like, that would have taken me months to think
of that. But we're gonna go through these four people.
I'm gonna give each of you two things. You're gonna
tell me if they're a gift or a curse, and why.
Then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong, because
there are correct answers. You can lose the game in
(11:32):
front of everybody mortifying. All right, let's start with you.
Number one, Gift you a curse real life celebrity couples
and commercials being domestic.
Speaker 8 (11:45):
Can you explain domestic? This what the word means?
Speaker 6 (11:49):
But these ah, we'll save this one for somebody else,
all right, Gift or a curse. Push note of vacations
for local warnings curse.
Speaker 9 (12:04):
All push notifications are a curse at all times. I
don't want to look my phone.
Speaker 6 (12:08):
Never correct curse for me. Spoiler alert. Let me let
me find out about the tragedy or the thing on
my own terms. Let me experience the earthquake or storm.
You know it's a it's an unfair thing. So you've
gotten one so far. Number two, Gift your a curse.
(12:29):
Clearance sections and grocery stores.
Speaker 9 (12:33):
Uh, let's go curse. Why I'm a I grew up
kind of bougie. I'm a coastal elite.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Oh boy, the audience is turning on this guy.
Speaker 9 (12:48):
My mom, whenever you let us chop there, it's like
a self curse.
Speaker 6 (12:54):
Okay, wrong, gift. I love the clear in section. It's
really where the freaks of the grocery store. You go
over there and you're like, I've never heard of any
of these items, and there's probably a reason, and then
it's discounted you. It's a little experimental, it's a little
it's the grocery store lab. So it's a gift, but
you still win something. Let's see here. Oh there's a
Oh there looks like there's another gift for me. Oh
(13:16):
my god, this podcast okay, this unfortunately the scene burst
on the wrapping paper.
Speaker 8 (13:21):
But is there anything from the clearance reck?
Speaker 6 (13:23):
What's that?
Speaker 8 (13:24):
Anything from the clearance t reck?
Speaker 6 (13:26):
Well, actually kind of Uh, this is uh, this was
given to me by David Desmalchen. He bought all of
these things at Goodwill. This is a potato express. This
you put up to four potatoes at a time and
then microwave them. It's like a little uh sleeping bag
for potatoes. So there's that. What else? We've got a
(13:46):
T shirt? That's that's merch. Gotta love merch. Oh and uh,
the card game gift to a curse. There we go. Okay, now, okay,
remind me your name, see Susie. Okay, let's uh, we're
going back to the first one. Gift or a curse
real life celebrity couples and commercials being domestic.
Speaker 10 (14:08):
This is an obvious curse because they're rich, they're fancy.
I don't need to see them being normal. I know
they're not being domestic in real life. Everybody's doing all
the domestic things for them.
Speaker 6 (14:18):
It's all a lie. So it's a curse. Wrong, wrong, wrong,
it's a gift. I love to get a little peek into,
you know, Dax and Kristen's life. They're selling their cars.
They have so many cars they're selling. I love it,
you know, and I know it's true. It's documentary. It's
(14:40):
a it's a slice of life gift. So you got
one wrong. Let's see if you can get at least
one dig yourself out of this hole gift or a curse.
Speaker 10 (14:51):
Driving gloves, Oh, driving gloves, Okay, this is a gift.
It's eccentric.
Speaker 6 (14:58):
Okay, it's a fun excess.
Speaker 10 (15:00):
You know, you're dealing with somebody who's maybe a little
crazy when you see them, also fancy eccentric, like kind
of grey gardens vibes. Is what I would get from
somebody like that, And that's a gift for sure.
Speaker 6 (15:15):
Correct.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Yeah, I'm gonna say, I.
Speaker 6 (15:17):
Mean what, how could I say that they're a curse?
I mean I would I'd love to have a pair
of my own. That's a bit of a problem. But
I guess the problem is I should just spend twenty
dollars on a pair of driving gloves. That's maybe that's
in the future for me. I don't know. But gift,
you got one out of so you get to win something.
Let's grab let's see what's in here. Okay. And by
the way, these are all bags from previous guests as well. Okay,
(15:41):
so it looks like, oh, this is an early gift.
This is DJ Khaled's The Keys. The Wonderful Lamar Woods
gave me to this in like episode four or five,
and this has changed everything for me. This is I'm
the man I am today because of this book. So
there's that. Thank you, And then let's see we've got
(16:02):
Oh these are it's a pair of socks from Ben Schwartz.
It's Millhouse socks. That's there. We go and let's see.
Oh end the card game.
Speaker 10 (16:14):
Yay, thank you.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
I don't know why I acted. Look at this pile
of trash. Okay, oh yeah, we're not ready for the
next thing. Okay, remind remind me of your name, Kristin Christen.
Are you ready for gift you a curse?
Speaker 5 (16:28):
I am?
Speaker 6 (16:28):
Okay, number one, gift her a curse? Full English breakfast?
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Oh yeah, curse.
Speaker 11 (16:39):
Why who wants beans and sausage for breakfast? It's just
super okay, Caitlin.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Good for you.
Speaker 11 (16:46):
Got the tomato tomatoes and what is blood sausage?
Speaker 6 (16:50):
Like? Why are anybody eating that?
Speaker 3 (16:53):
It's not good?
Speaker 11 (16:54):
No, it's a curse.
Speaker 6 (16:55):
Correct. No one's on board with this breakfast. And if
you are, there's the exit tomato. They're like nine different sausages.
I mean the beans alone. No one will ever convince
me that's a good breakfast.
Speaker 11 (17:06):
No one wants beans for breath.
Speaker 6 (17:07):
I know how that thing came together.
Speaker 11 (17:10):
Poverty to me, it's an abundance.
Speaker 6 (17:16):
We've got too many beans. We have too many tomatoes,
We have too many different types of sausage. It's a
bad We really like casing meat. Oh right, right, okay,
we got one right so far. Number two. Gift or
a curse when a restaurant gives you a birthday or
anniversary treat after you've already ordered and eaten dessert.
Speaker 11 (17:39):
So for your New York show, that happened to me.
We went to a really fancy place and then they
sent us over some dessert because I said it was
an anniversary, though it wasn't just so that I would
get better service. I was so full, it was so
hard to get through. No, it's a gift because I
like free stuff.
Speaker 6 (18:02):
Wrong, I'm sorry, but this is a scam and you're
probably getting the worst dessert. They're just waiting for you
to order the more expensive one. And then my Yelp
review is going off, and I've got a very You've
got a whole library of Yelp reviews. These people, it's
not fair, and then you have to eat it. No
(18:22):
one's taking it to go.
Speaker 12 (18:23):
It was really hard to get through.
Speaker 6 (18:24):
Oh, it's deeply unfair. Well, you I've already forgotten. You've
gotten you've got two one right, it doesn't matter. All right,
Let's see here, I'm see this is the tunic. Is
so hard to do anything. And okay, this isn't a
box that I made this myself.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 6 (18:45):
It says gift rap, gift rap. Okay, open that up.
Oh I've been telling every okay, you open it for
me and I'll I'll say, okay. So there's some gift
wrap and a T shirt. And then this is a
pair of socks which were purchased at a liquor store by
mary Lynn rice Cup.
Speaker 11 (19:01):
I remember.
Speaker 6 (19:03):
I actually am keeping a few pairs of them because
I'm going to try to integrate them into an outfit
at some point.
Speaker 11 (19:08):
I mean, you like the length of them.
Speaker 6 (19:09):
I'm trying to figure out if I do, where do
they hit? They hit about? What does everyone think about
a sock that hits about here? People are on board.
Speaker 11 (19:18):
I think it's gonna be nice for my boots because
I like them to go above the boot. I don't
like them to go high up because I get sausage legs.
Speaker 6 (19:25):
Okay, right, right, well, I don't know. You try them,
we'll both try them together. Perfect We're connected through liquor
store socks. All right, remind me your name Rick, Rick?
Are you ready for gift you a curse?
Speaker 8 (19:38):
Absolutely?
Speaker 6 (19:39):
Okay. Number one gift your a curse. Gummy vitamins.
Speaker 12 (19:48):
I suspect.
Speaker 13 (19:51):
I know how you're going to answer this, but but
here's what I think.
Speaker 8 (19:56):
They're a curse.
Speaker 13 (19:57):
The vitamin game is a scam. You're not getting anything.
You are peeing that out immediately, just have gummy bears?
Why you just do that instead? So it is absolutely
a curse, correct curse.
Speaker 6 (20:15):
I believe. I do believe in the power of vitamins.
But when they turn into a gummy, I'm like, okay, now,
now it is a scam. I know it is a scam.
But then when it's a gummy, it's a scam. So
and you only get to eat one?
Speaker 13 (20:27):
Yeah, And also you are just like urinating that. I sure,
I assure you.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
There's nothing wrong with urinating things out. Let's say, you know,
let's avoid our uti.
Speaker 12 (20:38):
Well, you've come to the right weekend in Chicago, So.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Okay, you've gotten one right so far. And finally, gift
You're a curse. Couches with cup holders.
Speaker 8 (20:54):
So.
Speaker 13 (20:56):
I can see it like I can see the benefits
very utilitarian. You're like set for a really comfy experience.
But I will say it's a curse because it's my
god like figure.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
Get a grip with your life, like, look at.
Speaker 12 (21:13):
What is happening. I mean right, you need someone.
Speaker 13 (21:18):
This is a wake up call if you are buying
one of those couches, like, get outside and get some
fresh air.
Speaker 12 (21:25):
So it's a curse, Rick.
Speaker 6 (21:31):
Wrong, How chic could you possibly get? You put one
of these in the basement. People are coming over there wondering, Oh,
when did he get a raise? You've got access to
your drink. You're not the kids aren't spilling. It's a
you know, a black leather that's probably falling apart as
(21:53):
soon as you get into the house. Gorgeous. And I
have recently become a yeah, a secret Lives of Mormon
wives recap ah. And so you know, I'm always thinking
where can we get the sodas? Where can we put
the sodas? I'm always worried. But you, uh, you got
one correct, So you win something and here we go.
(22:16):
There's a Now I've revealed another oh another gift from
me happening on this podcast. Okay, let's see here Okay,
nice bag T shirt. Yeah, this is a nice one, right, okay,
Oh god, okay, Oh Rachel Ray thirtys give it up
a Rachel Ray thirty minute meals. This is from Joe
Castle Baker and I've I've made several of the recipes.
(22:38):
Oh my god, wow a crowd. This is when she
had a lot of hope. Oh we're rooting for Rachel.
We're rooting for Rachel and the card game.
Speaker 8 (22:49):
Oh well, thank you.
Speaker 6 (22:51):
Let's give him a hand. Every thought of let's give
him my hand. Okay, now get off the stage, Get
off this stage. Let's see here. Oh yeah, go exit
that way, just making sure everyone gets out carefully. Okay, great,
Now should I open these tiny things here real quick?
See this is the podcast gets out of control so quickly.
(23:14):
What's that? Oh there's something under the chair. Oh how
did this get here?
Speaker 8 (23:19):
A mouse?
Speaker 6 (23:19):
Bring it? Okay, but let's open this one first. Let's
see here. Oh look at this, it's a stalking Oh
it's a McDonald's stocking. Where did this come from? And
I don't think I'm gonna be able to reach inside?
But there's a little mouse. Whoa. This looks like it
was like an eighties McDonald's thing. Okay, I'll have to
look at this later. There's a Norman Rockwell thing. This
(23:40):
is incredible. I'll put some pictures on Instagram. Nobody, I
mean this part of the podcast. I'm getting things I
actually am excited about. I think people are like, come on, okay,
this is a lovely card. Let's see. Maybe this will
give some hint to what's happening. My I'm actually very sorry. Okay,
(24:01):
let's see. I hope it's a threat. There's a bomb
under someone's seat. Oh, this is cheers to another live show.
We love you. Goodbye, Mandy and Karma. Thank you Mandy
and Karma. And we'll just open. Oh you look what
you're doing to me. Oh my god, diet coke? Oh
(24:25):
and a lime? How classy? That is pure class. Oh
my god. It's somebody who's here? Who's somebody on their
way in? Or is it? Oh it's Brendan Skinner. Oh,
(24:47):
bring bring your soul out a little.
Speaker 12 (24:49):
I didn't know you were getting dressed up just for.
Speaker 6 (24:51):
Me, of course, and I went shopping.
Speaker 14 (24:55):
You look like you are a squire for a fister.
You look like you are you know what you looks like?
There is a fisting going on and you are running
around picking up trash around it.
Speaker 6 (25:08):
You're uncomfortable?
Speaker 12 (25:10):
Is this skims? How are you?
Speaker 6 (25:16):
Oh?
Speaker 12 (25:16):
Here's your gift?
Speaker 6 (25:17):
Oh fantastic. Well we'll get to this.
Speaker 12 (25:19):
I wrapped it like a straight guy. This is do
I sit here?
Speaker 6 (25:22):
What do you take? A take whatever stool you like,
sit here and put it wherever you want. Oh god,
I've got to find a new outfit. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 12 (25:32):
I'm so happy to be here High Chicago.
Speaker 6 (25:38):
Do you What's something I always forget about doing it?
A live show is simply asking the audience how they're doing?
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Where are we?
Speaker 12 (25:47):
This is fun. This is the first time we've ever
been on stage together.
Speaker 6 (25:50):
This is the first time we've done the podcast live together.
Oh yeah, because we did a pandemic podcast.
Speaker 12 (25:56):
Who can forget?
Speaker 6 (25:57):
Who could?
Speaker 12 (25:58):
I was in a wee work.
Speaker 14 (26:02):
Because I was pretending I had a job, and I
did your podcast?
Speaker 6 (26:06):
Were you really broadcasting from a we work?
Speaker 12 (26:08):
I was broadcast from a we work?
Speaker 6 (26:10):
Oh my god, And you've gave me the most beautiful hat.
I almost brought it tonight to give away, and then
I thought, that's.
Speaker 14 (26:15):
Well, your suitcase got lost, right, You're wearing what was
only on your person.
Speaker 6 (26:22):
I wore this on the plane.
Speaker 12 (26:25):
Is this what gen Z is doing?
Speaker 13 (26:27):
Now?
Speaker 12 (26:27):
First we make pants? Now no pants?
Speaker 6 (26:31):
What are you doing in Chicago? Brendan is the only
person here who I lives in Los Angeles and.
Speaker 12 (26:37):
I'm here for the I'm here for the Grabbys. You're here.
Speaker 6 (26:40):
Yeah, you're gonna sweep.
Speaker 14 (26:43):
Yeah, I'm gonna sweep the stage. I'm accepting the award
for most plants. In the background, everyone's watching my material, like, Wow,
his zz plant is so healthy.
Speaker 6 (26:55):
He's really making good use of that. We work.
Speaker 14 (26:56):
I feel like there's stuff in the way from this
audience truth, this is, this is podcasts and then want
to do live stuff. They don't understand that parties.
Speaker 6 (27:12):
I'll pay extra attention for a few minutes. Just lean
back and just look at you while we're I'm talking
this is it is unfair. Maybe we'll move the the.
Speaker 12 (27:21):
Fi water, move the Fiji water.
Speaker 6 (27:25):
No they're paying me. No, we'll get rid of the fine.
Look at him stage directing. This is so what are you?
I do?
Speaker 14 (27:35):
Feel like we're like twins and I'm the stinker, Like
you're like you got straight a's and I went to rehab.
Speaker 6 (27:48):
Tell me while you're in Chicago.
Speaker 14 (27:49):
I'm in Chicago. My family lives here. I'm from this
I'm from the South Side. I grew up in Beverly.
Everyone I knew was Irish Gothic. When I was a kid,
my mom had three best friends and they were all
named Peggy.
Speaker 12 (28:03):
Before I was fine, I thought, Peggy met woman.
Speaker 6 (28:09):
Does your family have pope fever?
Speaker 12 (28:12):
Does my family have what hope fever? Pope fever?
Speaker 14 (28:15):
Oh, guess you'll like this, my mom, She goes, Uh,
the Pope used to teach at Saint Rita, not a
good school.
Speaker 12 (28:24):
Guess he's not smart because he didn't teach it.
Speaker 14 (28:27):
Mother McAuley, Okay, pandering. See, you can't do that because
you're not from here. You're from You're from the weirdest
place in America. You're from the place where when people
find out they're from there, they go oh.
Speaker 6 (28:47):
People's reaction to Utah is either that or there's like, oh,
I can't ask anything, or they go way too far
with it.
Speaker 12 (28:53):
Immediately, Well, the.
Speaker 14 (28:54):
Gloves, the gloves are that's your Mormon underwear, right, No,
that's not sanitary, babe.
Speaker 6 (29:06):
I actually am wondering what I'll do with these once
I actually fully fall apart. If any, we should start
brainstorming future glove situations because they are rapidly falling apart.
It's crazy. See.
Speaker 14 (29:15):
I love that you have all these inside jokes with
your audience, and I have no idea what they are.
All right, Bridgar's got a podcast and he's got gloves.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
That's it. I do feel like I'm pigeonholing myself a
little bit into an outfit. I'm starting to feel like, uh,
who's the guy that just never wears a shirt on stage?
Speaker 12 (29:33):
Bert Chryst shirt.
Speaker 14 (29:34):
Yes, I'm kind of the brain friend of mine.
Speaker 12 (29:38):
He says, Hey, faggot, I love you. He's never said that.
I never spoken.
Speaker 6 (29:44):
I'm not.
Speaker 12 (29:45):
I'm not successful.
Speaker 6 (29:50):
No, but I do feel like I'm falling into that.
So that's why I'm hoping that I'm guessing change it up. Well,
I have to wait for someone to give me an item.
Speaker 14 (29:57):
I got this on the podcast, you got that on
the podcast.
Speaker 12 (30:03):
But can someone get this man some shorts?
Speaker 6 (30:07):
Oh my god, oh somebody else here? They must be
Oh it's Claire running Hi, Claire, Ooh, bring up a soool.
The school situation I feel like is out of control. Oh, Claire,
welcome to I said, no gifts. I love those shoes.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Look you, thank you so much for having me. Okay,
shall I put.
Speaker 6 (30:29):
This I'll put this over. Oh god, what is this? Okay,
shut this show here, Put this here, Claire, we're talking
about pope fever. Do you have pope fever? Oh?
Speaker 3 (30:40):
I was excited living here. I live in Chicago, and
I think we can all say that when that happened,
it was like I got fifty fucking texts being like
from people here and from people elsewhere, being like Chicago Pope,
Chicago Pope, Chicago Pope. I found out from my notification.
Speaker 12 (30:55):
Cool Chicago Pope.
Speaker 6 (30:56):
Oh my god, here we go. This is an ideas
podcast first, and wow, that's a really good idea. The
thing about this, like I've been I've been learning that
the popes from Chicago, we all know this, but I
was wondering, like, he's young enough probably to have had
an email address. That seems very odd to me that
people are probably like, oh, I now have the pope's email, right?
Speaker 3 (31:19):
Are you suggesting that the last pope didn't have an email?
Speaker 12 (31:23):
What are you suggesting?
Speaker 3 (31:24):
What are you suggesting?
Speaker 6 (31:27):
I'm suggesting conspiracy. This is a new Dan Brown novel.
The Pope didn't have an email address.
Speaker 14 (31:32):
You think when you become pope, they strip you of
all your old data and you get like a new phone,
new email address, no bet gmail dot gmail.
Speaker 6 (31:43):
I really do feel like they have to kill your family.
It's like it's weird that normal people know him. It
doesn't make any sense, like he probably like went to
a fast food restaurant in Chicago at some points.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Brother, maybe maybe we've all seen this. His brother is
fucking defending his name on the news, being like he
was not a Cubs fan, he was a white Sox.
What his brother keeps going. I don't know if he
keeps going on the news or if I'm just getting
the clip a lot, but his brother keeps going. I
don't know who said this about the Cups thing.
Speaker 14 (32:10):
We got to stop putting brothers on TV when remember
when Obama was president, they would occasionally be like, and
here's his brother, and he would say the wackiest shit.
Speaker 6 (32:20):
I wonder if he got any warning that his brother
was going to be on TV, or if it was
just like, oh, oh, I should because it was not
if my brother was suddenly on TV. Like that, kill myself.
Speaker 14 (32:33):
That's why you got to keep your podcast really not successful.
This is enough, this is plenty. I never want to
fly too close to the sun.
Speaker 6 (32:43):
Well you've tried.
Speaker 12 (32:44):
I've tried, tried, jumped out that building.
Speaker 6 (32:49):
You have another show tonight.
Speaker 14 (32:50):
I do have a show at ten at leak at lunch.
What I'll be in bed by then you'll be in bed.
People should follow him there, wouldn't that be fun?
Speaker 8 (32:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 12 (32:58):
Like the pied Piper.
Speaker 6 (33:02):
Claire. Are you from Chicago?
Speaker 5 (33:03):
I am?
Speaker 3 (33:04):
I live here. I do comedy here as well. He'll
be at the lodge and I plugging him?
Speaker 12 (33:09):
Where are you?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
I'd be at the lodge also, not tonight, but in June.
I run a show there. But yes, I live in
Lincoln Park.
Speaker 6 (33:17):
Okay, I should be learning about Chicago. But then again,
I just spend the day looking for free refills and
experienced none of the local culture. I've what my life
is such a waste?
Speaker 8 (33:28):
I just.
Speaker 6 (33:31):
Grandma, No, is there like a quick thing I could
see tomorrow before my flight?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Oh when's your flight?
Speaker 6 (33:40):
Two thirty?
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Okay? So when do you get there?
Speaker 6 (33:44):
Oh that's another question? And I am seeing both airports.
I saw the one and now tomorrow I'm sing O'Hare
and I feel like, ohair is gonna be better? Is
that correct?
Speaker 3 (33:52):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (33:53):
Oh people, Well we'll let these two people speak.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Way is just a strange experience. I think sometimes it's
better because it's like less people are there. But I
just feel like I'm walking in a school classroom.
Speaker 6 (34:10):
Hallway right of liminal space type experience.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
And then O'Hair has fucking like ship on the ceiling.
Speaker 6 (34:17):
And you're like, whoa.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
Walking through my hair is like whoa, there's just so
much shit on the ceiling.
Speaker 6 (34:22):
Like purposeful ship on the sea, beautiful art. Yeah, I
can't wait.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
Don't look down.
Speaker 14 (34:30):
Well, the grabbies flew me here on a dildo. So
the only airport I saw was Cade Maddox's hole.
Speaker 12 (34:42):
With the one gay guy in here.
Speaker 6 (34:46):
I got to, uh, what's the other one? What's not O'Hair?
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Midway Way?
Speaker 6 (34:51):
I got there from Long Beach Airport and I'd never
been through this airport. They have sand pits.
Speaker 12 (34:56):
What Long Beach to Midway?
Speaker 6 (34:58):
It's a crazy experience.
Speaker 12 (35:02):
How little money are you making.
Speaker 6 (35:09):
The abuse I put myself through on flights?
Speaker 12 (35:11):
Is you take a pony express? Like, what are you
talking about?
Speaker 6 (35:15):
My car broke down in front of the theater, barely
made it tonight. No, I everyone knows I love a
connecting flight, but I this time I thought I'll spoil myself.
I'll have a direct flight. But in order to do that,
I had to go out because I won't fly out
of Lax Hell on Earth. The Lax is the reason
Americans hate Los Angeles. You go to that airport and
(35:39):
it's children of men. It is absolute misery. So I'm
avoiding it at all costs. And now I'm at Long
Beach where they have these giant sand pits for people
to play in. I've never seen something like this in
an airports.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Who is in it?
Speaker 6 (35:51):
Passengers? They must be dragging the sand on the planes. Oh,
oh my god, oh my god. Let's put this here.
Let's put hello, Hi, welcome to I said, no gifts.
Speaker 5 (36:11):
I'd love to disobey.
Speaker 6 (36:13):
Okay, gosh to find out we were talking about Long
Beach Airport. It's all over the news on everyone's.
Speaker 5 (36:19):
From Long Beach to Midway is a kind of a
crazy cultural I don't want to hear this because like
Midway is also to me like the essence of Chicago.
While o' hair is sort of like the public face,
you know, like O hair is like kind of like, oh, look,
we're important too, you know, we could possibly be the
you know, the target of a terrorist attack.
Speaker 6 (36:38):
And then.
Speaker 15 (36:44):
I just I just remember during nine to eleven, chicag
was like we're next.
Speaker 6 (36:51):
Well, I will say so was South Jordan Utah.
Speaker 5 (36:53):
Yeah, but you know it's just yeah it was. But
Midway is just much more authentico. Yes, you're gonna have
a good sausage there.
Speaker 6 (37:02):
Oh at Midway, I missed the sausage.
Speaker 5 (37:05):
Okay, I will tell you.
Speaker 6 (37:09):
I got a recommendation for tortoise at the airport at O'Hare. Yeah,
Rick Bayless, my mom was talking about that.
Speaker 12 (37:21):
Like something a mom would talk about. And they got
a frontierra at Midway.
Speaker 14 (37:24):
Now, yeah, exactly, it's fancy.
Speaker 6 (37:29):
I looked into it. It looks good. So excited. Don't
don't don't harm my dream.
Speaker 12 (37:37):
You guys are having like a leg off.
Speaker 6 (37:40):
Look at this, yeah, look at this.
Speaker 16 (37:45):
Here's one thing about Bridge or Bridger secret, buff secret.
He's not wearing he's wearing shapewear, but the man is ripped.
Speaker 12 (37:58):
That is not show.
Speaker 6 (38:00):
Show show show, show, show show. I don't know how
I would even begin. I can barely address when I'm alone,
but I will WHOA. What I did want to bring
up because everyone I feel like I'm becoming such a
(38:21):
nervous flyer and it feels like the everyone is in
kahoots to make me as scared as possible. First it
was I don't know if we were watching the rehearsal
with the plane crashes non stop, and now did we
hear the news about the person going into the airplane
bathroom out of Honolulu and someone had written on the
mirror there's a bomb on the plane? Ah? Can you imagine?
(38:45):
How would you react to that?
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Well, I have some follow ups.
Speaker 6 (38:50):
I'm not gonna have any answers.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
They wrote. When you say they wrote on the mirror,
I'm drinking.
Speaker 12 (38:58):
The bomb? Is this ass?
Speaker 6 (39:01):
They kissed the mirror?
Speaker 8 (39:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (39:05):
He said it was some lipstick. I wouldn't worry.
Speaker 17 (39:07):
I'm like, yeah, going on, Yeah, women in stam.
Speaker 6 (39:20):
I know nothing about it, and I'm so curious. Yet
I didn't look into it, but all I thought was like,
what would if I went in there? What would Because
you need to be quiet, you need to just tell somebody.
But I think I would just be quiet.
Speaker 15 (39:31):
My first impulse would be like tell everyone.
Speaker 5 (39:33):
Of course I would be sobbing and stats I would
open the door and be like, God.
Speaker 12 (39:37):
Like that, here's what I feel like.
Speaker 14 (39:40):
I wouldn't tell anyone because I wouldn't want it to
get diverted.
Speaker 12 (39:43):
There's nothing then being in the air.
Speaker 14 (39:46):
Nothing worse than being on the air halfway across the
country and they're like, we have to make an allergic
to landing in Denver and you're like, oh, I've got
a reservation at Portillo's.
Speaker 6 (39:59):
Yeah, they fully had to t I mean, of course
I had to turn around a nightmare.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
So it said in the bathroom, Oh, of the airplane
or the airplane?
Speaker 5 (40:06):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (40:07):
I was thinking of the airport, and I was like,
how would they know even which plane?
Speaker 6 (40:10):
We've got to check every single plan.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
So many questions. This person was like, not that well
thought out in their bombing miss apparently.
Speaker 6 (40:19):
On the plane? And am I spreading misinformation? Does this
feel true? Does this a real news story?
Speaker 15 (40:24):
And did they discover who it was on the plane?
Speaker 6 (40:27):
Who did it?
Speaker 5 (40:27):
Was it a joke?
Speaker 6 (40:28):
Has Yeah, so that's the I guess that's a big mystery.
Somebody on the plane must have done it.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Right, that's the thing.
Speaker 6 (40:33):
What a fun game.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
It could have all been a print, because I do
love a good print. So that was my next question was,
is somebody on this plane at Prankster.
Speaker 6 (40:46):
They find George Clooney, gotcha, famous.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
In Practical Joker Clooney, he's one of the four lifelong Friends.
Speaker 6 (40:58):
Yes, no, I'm a yeah, that's just I don't know
that I can keep getting on planes.
Speaker 8 (41:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (41:04):
You think it would get easier? Is this true for
other people? Like it gets every time I'm on a plane,
it's somehow harder.
Speaker 5 (41:10):
I mean, honestly, it's I am just as worried, but
my will to live.
Speaker 6 (41:15):
Yes, yes, yes that's true.
Speaker 5 (41:17):
So I'm willing to gamble.
Speaker 6 (41:20):
This is I've said this, but like anytime there's serious turbulence,
the way I comfort myself is thinking, well, at least
I won't have to be on the plane anymore. Yeah,
it's like, well, the flight was a shorter flight than
I expected.
Speaker 12 (41:33):
And what a relief to not have to keep a
podcast going.
Speaker 6 (41:36):
Oh yeah, my god, it's over, Oh god, whatever this is? Well,
I think, you know, as much as I'd like to
keep talking about planes exploding, I think we should get
into you guys obviously brought something the podcast is called.
I said, no gifts. I don't know if you were
clear on that or what. I'm sure at least one
email was sent. Brendan's been on the podcast before. No
(41:59):
excuses there. Uh, it seems like you brought gifts for me? Yes, okay,
should we open them here on the podcast? Can we
should here on the podcast?
Speaker 5 (42:13):
Okay?
Speaker 6 (42:13):
Okay, Brenda, is this one yours? No, of course, of course,
let's open this one first, kind of careful. I double
bagged it, and I'm I'm smelling something.
Speaker 15 (42:24):
Yes, it's alive.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
The sense that you got there, I strong believe this.
Speaker 14 (42:30):
I went to this great restaurant, the Athenian Room, and
I had some leftover food, and I just I thought, Bridge,
with all that working out you're doing, you're gonna need
some proteins, and there's some in there.
Speaker 12 (42:49):
There's gravy in the bottom.
Speaker 15 (42:51):
That's the juice.
Speaker 5 (42:53):
That's the juice.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
The way you are handling that is crazy. You had
one thumb that thing.
Speaker 12 (43:01):
It's like you've never seen leftovers before.
Speaker 6 (43:05):
Wait, what was the restaurant, the Athenian Room.
Speaker 14 (43:08):
Okay, I'll reach Cargo Classic cash only.
Speaker 6 (43:15):
Do you feel like this is going to give me
food poisoning.
Speaker 5 (43:17):
Yes, how long has it been in?
Speaker 6 (43:19):
The danger?
Speaker 12 (43:21):
Greek people?
Speaker 6 (43:23):
Okay, I love the Greek population. I complained about not
having Greek restaurants in LA all the time, and then
I get here and there's so many Greek restaurants and
then I look for refills. But the chicken the concern here.
How long has it been out? You know, in the
the as a grown bacteria is the big question.
Speaker 14 (43:39):
I was eating at the Athenian Room ninety minutes ago. Sorry,
I'm just gonna check.
Speaker 6 (43:43):
My Okay, should I guess I'll have a bite of
the chicken. Then oh, the.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Gloves touching it.
Speaker 12 (43:48):
Oh my god, the gloves on.
Speaker 5 (43:50):
I think I should eat the chicken. Eat it, eat it,
eat it.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
Eat it, eat it.
Speaker 12 (43:57):
Yeah, you know, I'm gonna have some feta as long
as we're here.
Speaker 6 (44:06):
Oh it's a little dry, gosh, put it on, yelp. Okay,
I'll be right back. I'll be right.
Speaker 14 (44:18):
But you are not spitting out the food I brought?
Are you fucking kidding me? I bring you my leftovers
and you spit them out, you Mormon piece of ship.
Speaker 6 (44:40):
Bring a better chicken next. Time, I'll have some little
feta too. Why not have a food, oh, like a
certain type of food?
Speaker 5 (44:50):
I mean, like, is there is there a dish that
Mormons are famous for?
Speaker 6 (44:55):
What jello? But number one?
Speaker 5 (44:58):
Are you serious?
Speaker 6 (45:00):
Jello? Funeral potatoes?
Speaker 5 (45:03):
Funeral potatoes.
Speaker 6 (45:05):
Funeral potatoes are delicious, but the saddest sounding thing that
you could possibly imagine. It's potatoes, sour cream, cheese, and
corn flakes. Oh and again it sounds okay, okay, I
didn't sell it her well, but it's just, you know,
like a very good casse role. That's the number one
jello fry sauce, which is ketchup and mayonnaise mixed together.
(45:29):
You can get that.
Speaker 5 (45:30):
Ooh ooh you.
Speaker 6 (45:33):
It's delicious. I think those are the number of the
top three.
Speaker 5 (45:37):
And then is like the famous thing that Mormons make.
Speaker 6 (45:41):
It's kind of almost a stereotype. I feel like, I
don't know, stereo, I did not know this. It's very offensive.
Speaker 14 (45:48):
Yes, you yellow eating motherfucker exactly.
Speaker 3 (45:54):
Something.
Speaker 6 (45:56):
Let's get it started.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
To have the to have one of the three top
foods in your culture be a sauce.
Speaker 5 (46:08):
I'm sorry, it's not like and it derived from like
anything French it's just two s each other.
Speaker 14 (46:17):
Like you gotta have my mom's recipe for ry sauce.
Speaker 5 (46:24):
It's one part ketchup, one part man.
Speaker 6 (46:26):
Like, what do you think of the top three Chicago foods?
Speaker 11 (46:30):
Hot?
Speaker 12 (46:31):
Yeah, Al's Italian Beef and Deep Dish pizza?
Speaker 8 (46:36):
Right?
Speaker 5 (46:37):
No?
Speaker 15 (46:38):
Actually, what did I think about lots?
Speaker 5 (46:40):
Yeah? Oh the taco noizza?
Speaker 3 (46:46):
Oh yeah, Well, like for Deep Dish, I've heard the
argument of Luma naughties versus Giordonna's okay, and oh Pea
quads Sure, there's also pea think.
Speaker 12 (46:57):
I've actually been there.
Speaker 3 (46:58):
I'm sorry, I'm very sorry. I'm very sorry.
Speaker 12 (47:01):
Don't be a jello head.
Speaker 6 (47:02):
It's peak quads is peaquants number one? I mean is
not number one?
Speaker 5 (47:09):
I like, I like a pan lose with Jared uh,
jardon era and sausage. You know, jar your your but
couldn't handle that. That your jellow head ass.
Speaker 12 (47:26):
You're gonna need some jello eat some yard there.
Speaker 5 (47:30):
I will also say, jelo to me, such a neurotic.
Speaker 6 (47:34):
Oh, it's very like it's moving.
Speaker 5 (47:37):
And it's like anything gelatinous like that.
Speaker 6 (47:42):
They serve it at hospitals. Very six. I'm not a
jello person, but I feel like people do enjoy it.
It drives me crazy because it's I think it's I
do objectively disgusting.
Speaker 3 (47:56):
My mother does a lovely pretzel jello salad. Have we
heard about this?
Speaker 6 (48:01):
This is a good thing?
Speaker 3 (48:03):
Yeah, this is a good thing. We should we should
all say what are good and bad things we should be.
Speaker 14 (48:10):
Actually, I love the Great Depression. It's such a such
a lovely era.
Speaker 3 (48:17):
Yes, pretzel jellow salad is like jello with strawberries in
it on the top, cream cheese slash whipped cream in
the middle, and like.
Speaker 5 (48:25):
Both cream cheese and.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Yeah, you whip them together. I'm kind of doing a
recipe style, like in case anyone wants to make it
right now, and then on the bottom is like a
crushed pretzel crust.
Speaker 6 (48:36):
That's what saves it. The pretzels save it, because thank god,
there's a texture and salt.
Speaker 5 (48:42):
I need a texture.
Speaker 6 (48:43):
Yes, that kind of feels like it's an English breakfast
territory where it's just like we've got the We've got
to empty the fridge. Just put it.
Speaker 12 (48:51):
Let's make that tomato hot.
Speaker 6 (48:53):
Yeah, should I open the next thing? Let's here, let's
a claire. What is the bode one? Right, okay, let's
get into this, and we've got plenty of chicken to
go around. I don't know, does anybody here want chicken? Chicken?
Speaker 8 (49:10):
Okay?
Speaker 6 (49:11):
And it doesn't seem like anyone wants chicken.
Speaker 3 (49:13):
Thread loose thread on your glove. Touch that.
Speaker 15 (49:16):
It's really catching the light. It's really catching the light.
Speaker 3 (49:20):
I wish you could all see how fucking disgusting that is.
I'm sorry. It's like a texture thing. It's a texture thing.
Speaker 6 (49:29):
This saves me at salad bars. I don't have to
use the tongs.
Speaker 5 (49:31):
I just.
Speaker 6 (49:34):
Okay, let's.
Speaker 3 (49:36):
Oh, this is a tricky, careful lift it from the top.
There's two there, there's two things in there.
Speaker 6 (49:42):
Okay, there you go.
Speaker 3 (49:43):
I just want yeah, oh, okay, okay, little disrespect. Never
met you in my life, but whatever.
Speaker 6 (49:53):
Oh it's a little sea pot.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
This is a netty pot.
Speaker 6 (49:59):
It's a pot.
Speaker 3 (50:00):
Are you familiar with the netty pots?
Speaker 6 (50:02):
I've wanted to try one for such a long time,
but have it scares me to death?
Speaker 3 (50:07):
Yes? It should. You're putting water directly into your brain
and then it comes out of the other side of
your nose. I used to be very scared of these,
and in February, I got a surgery on my nose,
and so I had to go from doing zero a
day from for my whole life, which is all of
our baselines, to four netty pots a day, four which
(50:30):
is borerline and addiction. So I was doing four natty
pots a day for a month, and then he weaned
me down to two a day. And I thought that
after three months of recovery, he would say, you don't
need any more. But I found out recently that I'm
just stuck to.
Speaker 6 (50:51):
That for life. You just have to keep to do
two a day for life.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
But here's the thing, here's why I've given it good.
It's fantastic. I am addicted to it now. It's like
when the dentist tells you, like, if you keep fossing
real fucking hard, it'll feel good. It's like that for
your nose.
Speaker 6 (51:08):
Well, but the initial time is not fun.
Speaker 3 (51:11):
No, it feels like you're drowning. It's it's never really fun.
Speaker 15 (51:16):
But because you can't, you can't prepare yourself for the sensation.
Speaker 5 (51:20):
It is unlike anything.
Speaker 6 (51:21):
Is there any way for it to go wrong? That's
my yes, how do you know? Been going wrong? And
it's just not being comfortable.
Speaker 3 (51:29):
Well, okay, so here's the main thing, and people are
on one of two camps about this. You need to
use distilled water because if you use tap water. There
was a woman who got a brain eating a meal
because brain eating a meba went into her brain via
that via the natty pot. Wasn't I'm warning you, I'm
(51:50):
wanting you know, you don't have to be that woman.
Speaker 6 (51:52):
Did you get it from a lake, but that's where.
Speaker 15 (51:55):
Water comes from?
Speaker 6 (51:57):
Yeah? Okay, so I have to.
Speaker 3 (52:00):
Go by distilled water or you can boil water and
you need to boil it for five minutes.
Speaker 6 (52:04):
Yes, and then chill.
Speaker 5 (52:05):
Yes, of course, of course I'm writing this down classic jellohad.
Speaker 3 (52:14):
It's very similar to making a cello.
Speaker 12 (52:17):
Here's the thing. If it makes you more comfortable, you
could use it as a douche.
Speaker 6 (52:22):
Why not both? And there's like a little thing inside.
Speaker 3 (52:27):
Yes, So those are your saline packets.
Speaker 6 (52:29):
Okay, you're going.
Speaker 3 (52:31):
To have to mix those in otherwise you're just putting
fucking water in your head. The saline will sort of
break down the mucus in your sinuses, and then if
you're lucky, you can see the boogers come out of
your face real time.
Speaker 5 (52:43):
Yes, very satisfying.
Speaker 6 (52:46):
Have you done it before, Brendan? But yes? Okay, Well,
how am I the only person on stage.
Speaker 12 (52:51):
You've never had a cocaine problem?
Speaker 6 (52:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (52:56):
Can I ask? Is this an officially sanctioned Nettie.
Speaker 3 (52:58):
Pot this is this is doctor yes brand?
Speaker 5 (53:04):
Well no, I only ask because my friend did get
caught selling unlicensed Nettie paa wow out of its garage.
And let me just tell you, doctor gup up very
re ligitious.
Speaker 6 (53:21):
Oh my god, whoa. So there's only one that you're
actually supposed to use? And it says Neil me the.
Speaker 12 (53:29):
Yes Neil.
Speaker 3 (53:31):
Oh my, I just fucking realized that's such a beautiful
fucking name. I don't know why, though, I feel like
you could use any any thing.
Speaker 6 (53:41):
It feels like you could just uh it's crazy straw
and faucet or something.
Speaker 15 (53:47):
No, the group des are doing something, I believe it.
Speaker 6 (53:50):
There's like a pretty recent product to market.
Speaker 3 (53:53):
Maybe the past thirty years.
Speaker 6 (53:55):
I want to say, well, they've like they upheld onto
that for thirty years. I would.
Speaker 3 (54:00):
There's also a squeeze bottle, which is what I use everything.
Speaker 6 (54:03):
Okay, so you gave me kind of.
Speaker 3 (54:05):
I gave you what I did not want for my
a N T doctor.
Speaker 6 (54:07):
So, but just for my knowledge, that has not been
used correct on video. People are going to be discussed.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
There is also Okay, so I brought that and I
was like, I'll tell my little fucking sob sign of story.
But I did bring you a fun gift.
Speaker 6 (54:23):
This, Oh is it in here? Okay?
Speaker 14 (54:28):
There were some cucumbers in mine too, that's all yours.
Kind of multiple gifts there as well.
Speaker 6 (54:36):
Oh, this is a very fun thing. Speaking of pranks, Yes,
this is a dice.
Speaker 3 (54:41):
Trick dice.
Speaker 6 (54:42):
This is all the level of writing there's a bomb
on the plane.
Speaker 3 (54:48):
It's kind of more lower stakes version of bombing a plane.
Speaker 6 (54:51):
Why did you bring trick dice?
Speaker 3 (54:53):
I just thought that was so fun. I just think
that's so fun. My best friend did get me trick
dice from Vegas, and I like cried when she got
me it because I was like, that's just so fucking sweet.
Speaker 6 (55:06):
I never used them before. She try them? Now, Yes,
let's say, actually.
Speaker 5 (55:09):
Work in what instance are you using these dice?
Speaker 3 (55:13):
Okay? So that's the great thing about the trick dice
is that if you're not a magician or someone in
a casino. It's so much more fun because no one
expects you to have them. So I will say I
didn't Okay, I will say I planned to use this
as a pickup line. Oh you, I planned to use
(55:39):
this as a last ditch resort of like to be
extra forward. If you're talking to someone and you don't
know how to seal the deal, this.
Speaker 6 (55:47):
Is the perfect way to find it.
Speaker 5 (55:48):
We're going to do it.
Speaker 3 (55:50):
Just listen, Just listen, you say this is what I
was gonna say. I was gonna say the trick dice
that I had it was like one was a loaded die.
It was all one and one was all six is
Oh fuck? I forget how I was gonna do it,
but I was seven.
Speaker 12 (56:10):
Suck my dick for a seven.
Speaker 3 (56:16):
I say something like, oh, if I roll a sticks,
you have to come home with me.
Speaker 6 (56:19):
Are you feeling okay?
Speaker 5 (56:21):
Are you feeling lucky?
Speaker 3 (56:22):
I didn't even think that. Oh my god, I did
not think it out that hard.
Speaker 5 (56:28):
Okay, you can do that.
Speaker 6 (56:31):
Okay, let's roll it. Should we?
Speaker 5 (56:32):
Uh?
Speaker 6 (56:33):
What do we think? Seven or eleven? Scream for seven?
Seven eleven? It seems like people think it's gonna be
a seven. That's gonna be embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (56:44):
Okay, oh that's spinning. That's kind of a fun trick.
Speaker 6 (56:52):
Truly, how does that work? I'm dazzled. That's like a
computer did it. This is so impressive. Now we're gonna
just kind of.
Speaker 5 (57:00):
Everything like this. I always think it's it's magnets.
Speaker 6 (57:03):
Oh yeah, ACTI connected to your score?
Speaker 3 (57:06):
Well no, you guys know it's the combination of the numbers.
Can only add up to seven or eleven. It's not magnets.
Speaker 14 (57:14):
But wait, so that dice don't even have all the
numbers on them?
Speaker 6 (57:22):
Oh six and two? I was like, how does the
one the other one?
Speaker 12 (57:28):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (57:30):
How would magnetsb go home with you?
Speaker 5 (57:35):
You guys? I don't know about this, but I did
say magnets with a lot of confidence.
Speaker 12 (57:43):
I don't even know how women are magic.
Speaker 6 (57:49):
If you want people to know how stupid you are,
just start a podcast. It will quickly be revealed. Okay,
well that's a very fun little thing, be picking up
people all over Chicago to you can just fuck city.
Speaker 5 (58:00):
Yes, okay, uh, we're and is that fox and the
thing underneath it?
Speaker 6 (58:07):
Okay? So which one should I open first?
Speaker 5 (58:09):
This is the first? The top one?
Speaker 6 (58:10):
Okay, this is this beautiful blue's that's not what's inside.
Speaker 5 (58:15):
Okay, well I'm sorry, let's see here.
Speaker 6 (58:18):
Okay, open these are samples. And also this thing hypoallergenic tape.
Speaker 5 (58:24):
It's for it's for you to cover your mouth while you.
Speaker 12 (58:26):
Sleep because you won't shut up.
Speaker 15 (58:32):
Do you guys know about this?
Speaker 5 (58:34):
It's like it's uh, it's supposed to help you force
your breathing to Oh my god, this is kind of
a thing. Is showy, but I only I TikTok. For
a while, I thought that I was like an Asian
insult and so so I was getting a lot of
like biohacking stuff right right, and so this is listen.
I am a big believer of in like products and
(58:59):
and like in the ability of products to bring you,
you know, fulfillment, and so I seek it out like
this is one I also bought, you know, and you
guys get the things that are like, are you do
you have ADHD take all these vitamins? Yeah, I bought
that too, that's in there.
Speaker 6 (59:16):
Okay, what's this is just a card?
Speaker 5 (59:18):
This is that's just the thing.
Speaker 6 (59:21):
So I creativity.
Speaker 3 (59:23):
This is this is the.
Speaker 5 (59:24):
Path that this is like Cooper movie. The vitamins their vitamins.
But this is thing. These are all samples. So I
so this is just a tip for you guys. If
you guys are brave enough to ask, people will give
you that special these like, these are all samples.
Speaker 6 (59:41):
This is from Keels. They're very they're big sample.
Speaker 5 (59:44):
Yes, they're big samples. Because I just ask, I insist and.
Speaker 6 (59:48):
Well those are two different things.
Speaker 5 (59:51):
But if you just stand there for they give you,
I'm just like I just do yees body, But.
Speaker 6 (59:57):
Where do you get this? Is there a store called
blizz Blue?
Speaker 5 (01:00:01):
Yeah? Blue, But you have to just insist, like you
got to go in there and you gotta be like,
I want that. Can you give me a sample of this?
I want a sample of that and they'll be like
that's a lot. I was like, yes, a conditioner.
Speaker 6 (01:00:14):
Condition this is very expensive.
Speaker 5 (01:00:16):
This is like this is like value.
Speaker 6 (01:00:19):
Oh my god, I'm going to be a new person.
And then this, this is from Korea.
Speaker 5 (01:00:23):
This is there. This will feel like needles on your face.
Speaker 6 (01:00:27):
You have to stick them in your face.
Speaker 5 (01:00:28):
No, no, no, it's a it's a topical solution where it
will feel like there are needles in your face. That's
that's k beauty right there. What does that feel like
like needles going into your face?
Speaker 14 (01:00:43):
Bridge, I'm so excited for you to look like a
Korean woman.
Speaker 5 (01:00:49):
I just got back from Korea and it's it is
the beauty standard there is so insane.
Speaker 6 (01:00:53):
Oh well, the SPF alone.
Speaker 5 (01:00:55):
True are very popular.
Speaker 6 (01:00:58):
Oh prepare in particular, I think would really take.
Speaker 12 (01:01:00):
Off, you know, like a woman driving a convertible.
Speaker 5 (01:01:05):
Dupin like that.
Speaker 6 (01:01:08):
But the only free uh sample I am aware of
that I should get the word out is Seize candy.
If you go to Seize candies, they have to give
you a free sample, and you can select any type
you want. Don't let them push the uh the raspberry
fudge on. You get whatever you want, they have to
give it to you.
Speaker 15 (01:01:23):
I would say that any store you can get a
free sample.
Speaker 6 (01:01:27):
If you have a gun.
Speaker 15 (01:01:31):
Now, I'm just saying, like any.
Speaker 5 (01:01:32):
Sort of situation like that where it's sort of like
there's things in bulk, of course you have to sample.
Excuse me, yes, in this economy, come on, ask I have.
Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
That justification, Just like that's in bulk.
Speaker 6 (01:01:44):
You have to give so many of them. I see
the bulk before me.
Speaker 5 (01:01:50):
Give me one, just share.
Speaker 12 (01:01:52):
I have a friend who works in pr in fashion.
Sorry brag.
Speaker 6 (01:01:56):
Oh god.
Speaker 14 (01:01:58):
And back when I used to have an active career,
he used to send me Abercrombie and Fitch stuff. And
now I still sometimes will be like, hey, can I
get some more Abercrombie and Fitch? And I get a
package of Abercrombia fish every six months.
Speaker 12 (01:02:10):
Yes, and Fitch.
Speaker 5 (01:02:13):
This is the in Obama said, the audacity to hope, right,
I'm talking about the audacity to ask. Just ask. You'd
be surprised, guys.
Speaker 6 (01:02:25):
I feel like people, especially with ice cream samples, get
really sensitive about They're like, you shouldn't do.
Speaker 5 (01:02:30):
That, Yes you should, yes, why not?
Speaker 12 (01:02:33):
You know what? Let them?
Speaker 6 (01:02:35):
Let them, thank you, thank you?
Speaker 5 (01:02:37):
Let them.
Speaker 6 (01:02:38):
That's kind of my philosophy. I thought of that. Let's
get this podcast up on the charts. Someone's having a problem,
let them. Yeah, genius advice.
Speaker 14 (01:02:49):
If someone hates your guts, let them.
Speaker 6 (01:02:54):
If somebody's bleeding, go ahead and let them their problem.
Speaker 14 (01:03:00):
You gay men make fun of Melroth Glenn and Doyle
glennon Doyle.
Speaker 12 (01:03:05):
Right, Okay, we can cut this part of the pod.
I'm more of a Vene brown stand.
Speaker 6 (01:03:12):
It shows, it really shows. Okay, I've got all my samples.
Here and now I opened this.
Speaker 5 (01:03:17):
Yes, please please, I wrote on the outside.
Speaker 6 (01:03:21):
Let's see it says to Bridger, may every uh neck,
every neck you sip on behavior. I like that.
Speaker 5 (01:03:31):
I like that.
Speaker 6 (01:03:31):
Wonderful, happy to do it's okay, sorry, okay did you
think of that? This is tough?
Speaker 5 (01:03:37):
So beautiful? Thank you?
Speaker 6 (01:03:41):
Oh yes, the American Mirage. Wait this is your book?
Speaker 15 (01:03:45):
Okay what kim right?
Speaker 12 (01:03:48):
This is not me.
Speaker 6 (01:03:50):
It's like I thought I knew. It's like, this is
so embarrassing for me.
Speaker 5 (01:03:54):
No, this is what's crazy. So this is UNGI kim
my doppelganger on the internet. Yes, she's a sociologist. So
she started going to Harvard when I started doing improv.
Speaker 6 (01:04:09):
That's a tough. That's tough.
Speaker 15 (01:04:11):
And so I've really watched both of our careers.
Speaker 5 (01:04:17):
And not that one is better than the other. I
got a commercial, she got into the Annenberg School of Communication.
She graduated from Harvard. I made a house team at I.
Oh she yeah, Now she teaches at Columbia and all
this stuff. It's like it's really really wonderful. And the
(01:04:37):
thing is she because I started doing improv, I started,
I I have a I'm on a database of improvisers.
Speaker 15 (01:04:45):
Sure, it's called Chicago dot improv dot whatever.
Speaker 6 (01:04:48):
And check it out.
Speaker 5 (01:04:49):
Because my name, because my name is in there. My
I am the first Ungi Kim to show up.
Speaker 6 (01:04:55):
Wow, I'm Google this is she must be so many
she's Oh my god.
Speaker 5 (01:05:01):
She's furious, furious. She started paying someone to push her.
Speaker 12 (01:05:07):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (01:05:08):
I don't blame her. I don't blame her. She is
the better on G.
Speaker 6 (01:05:13):
But but she's still losing until she gets number one.
Speaker 5 (01:05:17):
I mean she's very close with this book, I hope, so,
I mean, this is why I think I initially kind
of was like a hater, like she was like a
nemesis of mine, you know. And now because she's doing
so well, I'm realizing I should really be a bigger person.
Speaker 6 (01:05:30):
And uh no no no no no no no no
no keep attack attack attack. Have you read the book?
Speaker 14 (01:05:40):
No?
Speaker 8 (01:05:40):
What's like?
Speaker 6 (01:05:42):
This is a deeply jealous person.
Speaker 14 (01:05:46):
Giving Giving someone a book is a chore. Here's a
book I didn't read.
Speaker 6 (01:05:52):
But you, I mean, you put some money in her pocket.
Speaker 5 (01:05:54):
I did. This is the This is so psychotic. Okay.
I pre ordered the book because she said that she
was going to sign it, and I want her to
write my name.
Speaker 6 (01:06:14):
Did you do it?
Speaker 8 (01:06:15):
No?
Speaker 5 (01:06:19):
This is what I mean, Like, she's smart, why she
went to Harvard? This how.
Speaker 6 (01:06:26):
But this actually is something that I might want to read.
Speaker 15 (01:06:29):
It is very fascinating. I read the back of it.
Speaker 6 (01:06:34):
The back is just praise for the book. It's not even.
Speaker 5 (01:06:39):
And it's just fuel for me.
Speaker 6 (01:06:42):
Oh what reality shows are you three watching right now?
Speaker 3 (01:06:46):
I am watch? I did just begin Mormon Lives of Mormon.
Speaker 6 (01:06:50):
This is the eternal problem for this show. That was
bad producing on their part. No one will ever really
know the name of the show, Secret Lives of Mormon.
Let's all say it together, cries we got it. I
think we got it. Oh so you started that?
Speaker 3 (01:07:10):
I did. I got to episode two, I think.
Speaker 6 (01:07:12):
Of season two.
Speaker 3 (01:07:13):
Watch there's a second time.
Speaker 6 (01:07:15):
You've got a very, very long road.
Speaker 3 (01:07:18):
I am blown away the pacing of the first episode.
I could not believe.
Speaker 14 (01:07:23):
Well the buck line, Richard, I'm so maxed out on
Salt Lake City on my television. Like they're always like,
We're hosting this cute event, this event space in Salt
Lake and I'm like, this is a fucking Benny Hannah,
Like this is Bennegan's You fucking idiots.
Speaker 6 (01:07:44):
They really are going to like the skating rink I
went to in middle school. Right, it's not impressed like.
Speaker 12 (01:07:50):
You're in a book. It abpo man like this is
not some cool restaurant.
Speaker 15 (01:07:54):
But they all look incredible.
Speaker 5 (01:07:56):
It looks I know, I when I I I visited
my friend out in Salt Lake and I couldn't help
but notice, like all the medi spas boat like.
Speaker 6 (01:08:06):
Kind of South Korea.
Speaker 5 (01:08:09):
I thought it was strange. I thought I thought it
was strange, and I looked it up. It is the place.
It's even more than South Korea really with passive surgery
per capital, per capita, not overall, you know, but because
it's like it's is every street strip.
Speaker 6 (01:08:22):
Mall, your young everywhere. It's everywhere, but it was really
your beauty lab and laser most of all. I've been
there a number of times and never gotten a treatment.
I just go and get my picture taken if you
for those of you do who don't know, one of
the Salt Lake City housewives owns a chain of beauty lamps.
Speaker 5 (01:08:43):
What would we call them meddie spots.
Speaker 6 (01:08:45):
Meds spots. You've just said med spots. And I've been
there over and over. They have kind of a Soviet feel.
If you go in them, it's a little like this
is medical care. What's going on? But Heathergay reach out?
Speaker 5 (01:08:59):
Uh, I love that though. I love all those Because
all the mommy bloggers are Mormons.
Speaker 6 (01:09:04):
There's a very weird Utah has a secret shadow grip
on the country. It's true through mommy bloggers.
Speaker 5 (01:09:11):
And any any mommy blogger that you followed that has
more than three children, Investigate, investigate. I did it, and
I did uncovered a lot of Mormons. I'm just saying,
I'm like, how are they having six kids in New York?
Study Paul, Yeah, the Mormon I do think.
Speaker 6 (01:09:27):
I was just telling somebody there's we need to launch
a streaming platform for purely Utah content. There is so
much at this point that everybody's loving it. Good for us,
finally we do something right. Everyone's shaking their heads.
Speaker 5 (01:09:39):
I'm just saying, I'm gonna start this jello head slander.
Speaker 6 (01:09:42):
It's gonna destroy all of the goodwill.
Speaker 14 (01:09:45):
You just want to like full of fade, done away
and network. You're like, we'll get a five share.
Speaker 6 (01:09:52):
Okay. Was there anything left to say about the gifts?
I've had some chicken. It was it's backstage. I've got
the netty pot for the future. I will experiment some samples.
I'm starting my life over. Yeah.
Speaker 15 (01:10:07):
I love buying stuff and thinking you're gonna be like
a different person.
Speaker 6 (01:10:10):
Oh yeah, that illusion at least on the drive home.
Speaker 5 (01:10:13):
I bought a book on It's called Healing Trauma Through Writing, and.
Speaker 6 (01:10:19):
It was.
Speaker 5 (01:10:23):
Get you know again. I read the back of it.
I guess I'm kind of revealing myself to not be
able to read. But you can hope, and that's important. Well,
I think we should play a game. We're gonna play
Gift or a Curse.
Speaker 6 (01:10:38):
Let me get my computer open here, and this is
I'll probably have to take the glove off in order
to access my computer. Oh god, I do set the
mic down. This is why you need a producer. You
can't travel alone.
Speaker 14 (01:10:49):
Like forty five minutes later, but oh.
Speaker 3 (01:10:55):
You got the touch id. Motherfucker got the touch id.
Speaker 14 (01:10:59):
Because it's like you give a kid a controller and
you're like, you're playing the game.
Speaker 12 (01:11:05):
There's no computer there. Bridge he's staring at a blank screen.
Speaker 6 (01:11:12):
Okay, could we get the slides if that is an option?
This is how we play Gift or a Curse. I
don't know how this is even gonna play out.
Speaker 3 (01:11:20):
What can you mean by that?
Speaker 6 (01:11:21):
Oh they're over here? Well the technology, Wait, these are
don't look at that. You're getting too much information. You're
getting too much information?
Speaker 12 (01:11:32):
Oh god, you okay?
Speaker 6 (01:11:33):
What is this?
Speaker 12 (01:11:34):
So I had a few drinks?
Speaker 6 (01:11:39):
Take it to go? No, this is how we play
gift a curse. I'm going to name some things and
you're going to tell me if they're a gift or
a curse, and why then I'll tell you if you're
right a wrong and you're competing against each other, so be
as blood thirsty as possible. Number one, and you've already
seen the picture, which is such a shame gift or
a curse? Watching a stranger's car. Get toad and you
(01:12:00):
can go first.
Speaker 5 (01:12:02):
Gift, Why is a gift?
Speaker 6 (01:12:05):
Tell me why? Oh well you don't tell me why?
Speaker 5 (01:12:08):
Well it's also I at a point in my life
got a parking ticket every day and I was working
at a a like a telephone like call center, and
I was late every day, and I parked in a
spot I wasn't supposed to every day, and I got
a fifty dollars ticket every day, and and I didn't
(01:12:33):
pay it every day. So I got my car towed
pretty regular, right, And so I've experienced this.
Speaker 15 (01:12:40):
And I've seen people and the way they like.
Speaker 5 (01:12:43):
The sort of like pity and like the contempts. It's
all I'm mixed in is they watched me kind of
like frantically, you know, beg the driver please stop, you know,
and you know, I'm just like, I'm just a little girl,
you know. So I think it's just like it would
(01:13:05):
be a gift for me to see that live. I'm
gonna be on the other side of the bar, right,
but I don't have Sean Freud. It's just, you know,
just that's a more personal thing.
Speaker 6 (01:13:16):
Claire, what do you think?
Speaker 3 (01:13:17):
Oh, I'm answering about the same one.
Speaker 6 (01:13:19):
I would hope. So okay, I'm gonna start stalking the stage,
by the way, just to make this a little more
high stakes.
Speaker 3 (01:13:25):
Oh god, it's really Bizarry.
Speaker 5 (01:13:32):
It's so menacing.
Speaker 3 (01:13:37):
I would say, like the tunic, this looks like you're
about to ask us to like drink kool aid a.
Speaker 14 (01:13:49):
You legitimately look like you've been institutionalized.
Speaker 3 (01:13:56):
Claire, quit dodging, so sorry, so sorry. I guess I
would say a curse just because I feel bad for them.
I don't drive. I never got my license because I'm
scared of it. Thank you, thank you. I'm not gonna
(01:14:18):
be a little too proud. Forty two never drove. We're
two bitches.
Speaker 5 (01:14:24):
Because you're afraid.
Speaker 3 (01:14:25):
I'm scared of it.
Speaker 8 (01:14:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:14:27):
I took the driver's tests and everything, but when I
got behind the wheel, it just scares the fuck out
of me.
Speaker 6 (01:14:33):
It's a very scary thing.
Speaker 5 (01:14:34):
I would say this. I've been in a lot of accidents.
Speaker 3 (01:14:38):
Okay, that's why I'm scared.
Speaker 5 (01:14:40):
Let me just say this. All of them might fall.
It's okay, it's fine, it's crazy, it's okay, are very safe.
Speaker 3 (01:14:51):
Okay, thank you.
Speaker 12 (01:14:53):
This this will now basically drive themselves.
Speaker 3 (01:14:58):
So I guess I think I don't know enough. I
when I hear anything about cars like turn off, and
I'm like, I don't drive it. I don't know that shit.
So I don't really know think about this. But I'll
say curse because I guess that makes me feel bad.
Speaker 6 (01:15:09):
Okay, okay, okay, Brendan.
Speaker 12 (01:15:11):
I'm gonna say curse.
Speaker 14 (01:15:13):
And here's why I have studied Buddhism, and I only
bring it up to brack and and in Buddhism, you
want no harm, to do it throughout the day, to
do no harm on yourself and no harm on others.
And if someone is getting towed, that is a harmful
day for them. And I have too much empathy to
(01:15:34):
witness something like that. I refuse to read the news.
I am. I'm completely oblivious to what's going on. People
are like, have you seen the markets? And I'm like
our peaches in season? And uh, And that's because my
empathy is too deep.
Speaker 6 (01:15:53):
Okay, But like.
Speaker 3 (01:15:56):
What if the tow truck driver was going to lose
his job if he didn't toe that car?
Speaker 12 (01:15:59):
Though it's so real, that's why I can't see it.
I get you. I just a man trying to do
his job in America.
Speaker 6 (01:16:08):
The answer is cursed, curse. I genuinely think towing a
car is maybe top three things worse things humans have
learned to do to each other. What an evil concept.
Speaker 14 (01:16:21):
When I'm driving and there's a car in in I
don't know if it's like this in Chicago, but there
are lanes during traffic time, high traffic time, there are
for no parking, and when somebody leaves their car in
them and we have to all go around it.
Speaker 12 (01:16:36):
I'm like, tell.
Speaker 6 (01:16:40):
It.
Speaker 14 (01:16:41):
Or if somebody parks in a handicap can I can
you still say that? If someone parks in a differently
abled spot, tell it.
Speaker 6 (01:16:52):
If somebody parks so I.
Speaker 12 (01:16:54):
Like the pacing two.
Speaker 6 (01:16:57):
Keep the audience on their tones. Uh, I understand this,
But there should be a sign they put in the
car to let us know. This is why it wasn't
just somebody was having a hard day.
Speaker 12 (01:17:10):
What let's go, Diva.
Speaker 6 (01:17:15):
The signs in the car? Whilese they're towing it.
Speaker 14 (01:17:21):
Sh I am obsessed with you.
Speaker 12 (01:17:27):
There are signs.
Speaker 6 (01:17:30):
Are you a tow truck driver?
Speaker 12 (01:17:31):
There are signs right in a park.
Speaker 6 (01:17:33):
It's happening. You have the tow truck lobby in the
audience tonight. Okay, well, are you got that wrong? So
you've fallen behind? Okay? Number two gift or a curse?
Concert footage on phones?
Speaker 5 (01:17:50):
Concert? Oh, this is a curse. This is the curse.
This is the curse.
Speaker 14 (01:17:56):
What are you doing with all that footage? How much
day do you have? Is it in the cloud? How
are you You're getting screwed over by big data if
you're paying to back up all that concerts?
Speaker 3 (01:18:09):
I just want to meet the person who's going home
and watching it, like, who's like I can't wait to
get back into that T Swift concert. I mean, I
guess she made a movie of hers.
Speaker 6 (01:18:19):
But okay, and Andrew.
Speaker 15 (01:18:23):
Oh, I just I will say this, the etiquette a.
Speaker 5 (01:18:26):
Concert when they're doing that right, it's just like you're
fucking it up for the rest of us. Yes, And also.
Speaker 3 (01:18:33):
Yeah, she's filming from the crowd the rest of us.
Speaker 12 (01:18:38):
I feel like we're like a town hall. We're getting
people riled up.
Speaker 6 (01:18:42):
One of these people will be president.
Speaker 5 (01:18:45):
And I will also say this, like there's something about
experiencing music like that live, you know that it can
be very spiritual. For me, I went to go see
New Kids on the Block and and I am not
a really just person, and to be in n mass
like that in community with a bunch of other middle
(01:19:10):
aged women and they're upset daughters, it's just really incredible.
And like the thing is like they're missing out on
it right just because they're looking at their phone. I
will say, I think they shall lock it up. Lock
it up.
Speaker 14 (01:19:23):
There are some concerts where people aren't doing it, Like
I went to a Regina Spector concert recently. Everyone sat
the whole concert. Oh big arena, everyone's sitting. I was like,
I'm obsessed with the Regina inspectors fans being.
Speaker 12 (01:19:38):
Like, we're not standing, we're sitting.
Speaker 5 (01:19:41):
Wait did she did?
Speaker 4 (01:19:41):
She?
Speaker 15 (01:19:42):
Did she stop all like bar service as well.
Speaker 5 (01:19:44):
During the show.
Speaker 12 (01:19:46):
I don't I don't drink.
Speaker 14 (01:19:48):
Okay, well, okay, it's because I was too fun.
Speaker 17 (01:20:00):
Yift.
Speaker 6 (01:20:01):
It's a gift. This is what I'm gonna say. I understand,
but I think everybody should be allowed twenty seconds to
just film. It's your favorite song, get your little bit,
and then put your phone away. I think there's nothing
wrong with that if you get to take one picture,
twenty seconds of footage, and then you've got a little
gift for later. People standing there and are doing a no,
(01:20:22):
I need you. You're the ones to have to learn
these people agree with me. No, absolutely not. I want
to look. You're both all three of you in the eyes. Gift, gift, gift, wrong,
it's a gift. Okay.
Speaker 12 (01:20:35):
So I guess when I went.
Speaker 3 (01:20:37):
I saw a concert recently, and I did feel so
guilty that I just like try to like sneak a pick,
so I only have blurry fucking photos.
Speaker 6 (01:20:44):
That's okay, that's all you need, thank you, that's all.
Speaker 5 (01:20:46):
Yes, you know, I just I know, I think I
don't even have I don't have pictures of my children's
birthdays because I'm so present.
Speaker 6 (01:20:59):
Okay, let's get to the next one. This is the
final one. Gift or a curse, the unexplored depths of
the ocean.
Speaker 5 (01:21:08):
Curse. Curse?
Speaker 6 (01:21:10):
Why curse?
Speaker 5 (01:21:12):
Well, I mean we all know it's we all know
that's that's where that's that's where the evil is, right, uh,
but we know, like that's like it's like it's very hot,
and I think I mean the way that that's the
primordial soup, right, that's like out of which a dinosaur come. Like,
I don't know, don't thank you. It's very dangerous. It's
(01:21:33):
like to me, the vastness of space is I would
prefer to explode into like a million pieces into the
atmosphere versus being slowly crushed as I get into the darkness,
you know what I mean, Like James Cameron, Shit.
Speaker 14 (01:21:51):
No, it's actually also not slow. It happens really quickly.
Remember when we were trying to find it, trying to
find those people out, Oh.
Speaker 6 (01:21:59):
Yeah, to the old.
Speaker 12 (01:22:06):
It was like my butthole at the Grabby's.
Speaker 6 (01:22:14):
Do you have answers?
Speaker 3 (01:22:15):
I will say gift just because imagine the screensavers way
so cute and beautiful. The screensavers that we're getting with
current ocean ship that we found gorgeous. Imagine if we
get a camera down there, screensaver, bridger screensaver, what are
(01:22:36):
your computer screensaver?
Speaker 6 (01:22:40):
Submarine.
Speaker 12 (01:22:43):
I'm gonna say it's a gift.
Speaker 14 (01:22:45):
And here's why I am a history buff and I
love history. I love learning about all the different eras.
And there were so many shipwrecks and when we explore
the depths of the ocean, we find the shipwrecks, and
we learned so much about how humans used to lived.
Speaker 5 (01:23:00):
Come to show off, but that okay, but that what
you're describing are is not the depths. It's not the
Mariana Trench.
Speaker 15 (01:23:09):
It's not you're you're describing sort of like the lighter side.
Speaker 3 (01:23:13):
Right if the la of oceans, if a boat got
that deep, it was trying to go that deep, it was.
Speaker 6 (01:23:24):
Well the correct answer gifts. I love that they unexplored
depths of the ocean. The mystery, the intrigue, the romance,
who knows what's in there? Could be really fun.
Speaker 5 (01:23:35):
Romance the Romans. How do you know the romance the
Heart of the Ocean? I heard the heart of Teffedi? Yeah,
I heard about it.
Speaker 12 (01:23:46):
Do you say Taffedi?
Speaker 5 (01:23:47):
Yeah, it's Mahana. But it's just like, what, who are
you romancing in there?
Speaker 6 (01:23:57):
We don't know. We gotta bring the.
Speaker 3 (01:23:58):
Dice, bring the trick dice. Trying to fuck someone in
the depth ocean?
Speaker 5 (01:24:02):
Oh my god, what if you tricked the.
Speaker 3 (01:24:04):
Fish in you in the depth of the ocean and
I got a screen saver of it. I can't wait, and.
Speaker 6 (01:24:15):
You completely lost the game.
Speaker 5 (01:24:19):
But that's an elite group, every single one wrong.
Speaker 6 (01:24:23):
Claire and Brendan. You kind of just did a wishy
washy So that's nothing to be proud of either.
Speaker 12 (01:24:28):
Shut up, you Mormon pieces ship.
Speaker 6 (01:24:31):
It's a yellow mouth. Thank you. Well, I don't we're
not answering a question. These are they? We had some
beautiful in depth answers here. We've got some gorgeous gifts.
I'm we're gonna we're gonna wrap this up. I can't
drive you. I need to respect your time. I'll go
for another hour and a half. Let's see how you feel.
I can't I can't in good conscience as someone who
(01:24:54):
will leave a three hour movie an hour and a
half in. It's a good trick. I'm you gotta try it.
I can't go over an hour and a half. That's
you know. I've everyone the bad ratings that would come
in for the podcast. It would crush me. So this
is we're gonna this is such a sad.
Speaker 8 (01:25:11):
Way and.
Speaker 12 (01:25:16):
Trying to land the plane.
Speaker 5 (01:25:18):
I'm like, are you a kind of announced some.
Speaker 12 (01:25:21):
Sort of transitioning into an.
Speaker 3 (01:25:25):
He's the guy who on the plane?
Speaker 6 (01:25:27):
You're gonna answer one listener question. We'll answer a quick
Oh good, Okay, let's get into the doc. Okay, okay,
this is a good this is a good question, and
we don't know who it's from. Okay, hello Bridger and
Conniving guest, this I mean the rudeness? Ah, I twenty
(01:25:49):
nine female cannot stop thinking about and missing my ex.
It's driving me crazy. How can I move on and
get over him? And to not put a name? This
is a dangerous email.
Speaker 3 (01:26:01):
Is this person here?
Speaker 6 (01:26:03):
Uh no, well, we don't know. Suddenly there's like a
target on my head.
Speaker 12 (01:26:09):
Sort of a universal feeling.
Speaker 6 (01:26:13):
Let's how do we help this person who is a
danger to themselves and another person.
Speaker 5 (01:26:19):
I mean, according to you, they should go to the
depths of the ocean.
Speaker 6 (01:26:24):
If they're a billionaire. If they're a billionaire, send them
down and see what happens.
Speaker 3 (01:26:28):
Uh did they say how long it had been?
Speaker 6 (01:26:31):
No, they didn't give enough. They didn't get you know,
they were tight with the email. They didn't have a
lot to spend on this email. So oh, it felt
like you were going to say something.
Speaker 14 (01:26:42):
I kind of feel like I have this philosophy. It's
called let you, And basically it's like, if you are
fixated on your ax, let you.
Speaker 12 (01:26:50):
Be, yeh, let you be. What's the worst that could happen?
Speaker 14 (01:26:54):
You think about them forever, and then you don't meet
somebody new.
Speaker 12 (01:26:57):
Let you let you?
Speaker 5 (01:27:01):
I would agree. I would let yourself wallow and like
really do the deep dive on Insta, like do all
the stuff that you know is bad, like get there,
be depressed, go dog.
Speaker 6 (01:27:11):
I still do.
Speaker 12 (01:27:13):
I still do check ups on my eyes.
Speaker 15 (01:27:14):
I would say, you put in a like.
Speaker 5 (01:27:17):
An event, you put in an alarm into your phone
a week, three days? What have you?
Speaker 15 (01:27:22):
And you fucking when a ding ding dings?
Speaker 6 (01:27:25):
You're done?
Speaker 5 (01:27:26):
I just I would say that, like truly, Like there's
something about crossing me off on.
Speaker 15 (01:27:30):
A task list that is so erotic that I think.
Speaker 6 (01:27:38):
That.
Speaker 5 (01:27:38):
I think, like, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3 (01:27:41):
Trying to figure out how I would set an alarm
on my phone for a week from today.
Speaker 5 (01:27:46):
You put it in your g COL Honey, what are
you worry about?
Speaker 3 (01:27:49):
I'm young and stupid. I have my iPhone alarm and
that's all I have is my calendar.
Speaker 6 (01:27:54):
But then the alarm will go off, Yes, of course,
like ding dings. How are you doing this? Pot? Guess
everyone wants to know. It's a good question.
Speaker 5 (01:28:05):
If you're not using gCO. But yeah, I think you
have to allow yourself like a week whatever. For everyone,
it's a little different. Yeah, but I think that allowing
yourself to just be as gross as possible.
Speaker 3 (01:28:14):
Yeah, I have heard that that's a good method to
purge it out.
Speaker 5 (01:28:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:28:17):
Also, you could find somebody new to obsess over, and
somebody else find a new target the x before this one.
Speaker 6 (01:28:26):
Oh that's a cherry move. I'm back.
Speaker 12 (01:28:31):
She's thinking I'm bad.
Speaker 6 (01:28:35):
Thinking about ya.
Speaker 5 (01:28:36):
I mean, you guys know this right, Like on your
Instagram stories, when you start clocking that stuff, you're like, oh,
something happened when you see like an old axe like
kind of like popping up again. And you know what
I mean, You're like, oh, something happened and I love it.
Speaker 12 (01:28:48):
What do you mean like somebody's dead? What do you mean.
Speaker 3 (01:28:52):
They logged into his Instagram to see who he knows.
Speaker 5 (01:28:54):
No, it's just like either they broke up, like he's
fallen on hard times, you know, like I that's a job,
Like something's that going good? And he's returned to look
at your stories the scene.
Speaker 6 (01:29:08):
Okay, that seems right. Yeah, it seems to engage with
your content. That's good.
Speaker 5 (01:29:13):
It's just it is. Yeah, there's something about that feels
really good though.
Speaker 3 (01:29:17):
To you it feels good.
Speaker 5 (01:29:18):
No, but like if you ever want to wound up
on like the they're like mother in law's like Instagram
page or whatever.
Speaker 3 (01:29:24):
Yeah, sure no, especially if they're old.
Speaker 5 (01:29:29):
They don't know how to make it private.
Speaker 6 (01:29:32):
Andie this is being recorded, this won't be published. Audience.
Oh yeah, I feel like I feel like they got
their answer. Get over him, come on psycho on that note. Everybody.
(01:29:52):
I'm so glad you could come here. I'm so thrilled,
and I wish there was another way to end a
podcasts other than to say it's over, let's just do
one more question.
Speaker 7 (01:30:05):
Yeah, I'm just being conscious of your feelings.
Speaker 6 (01:30:09):
That's more physical.
Speaker 12 (01:30:10):
I'm my next shows not till ten, so I have
like a little bit of time. I have one I'm
just gonna show at nine thirty, so this will be
the last one.
Speaker 6 (01:30:18):
Okay, this will be the last one, and look at it.
He's an advocate for you, and as am I just
in a different way, a different way. Okay, this one.
This is more gift oriented, and this is says I
am a dog groomer and like to give my clients
small gifts during the holidays. I'm giving you and I
and guest and producer on Lisa's not here Onalas doesn't
get to help head start at brainstorming. Okay, so this
(01:30:40):
person is lazy. I usually do a small ornament with
a pick of their dog and a card. I feel
like the pick of a dog gift is getting redundant.
So I've seen groomers do own other copying people. So
I've seen groomers do nose print or paw ornaments. Do
you have any new and fun ideas for gifts for
your specific that are specific to your love pet. Thank you,
and that's from E.
Speaker 14 (01:30:59):
Yeah, we should have ended the show about that.
Speaker 6 (01:31:04):
I got an absolute Now we're.
Speaker 14 (01:31:05):
Just giving advice to a small business owner. The tariffs
are gonna kill you mean order the soap.
Speaker 6 (01:31:12):
Now, this person is what are we supposed to say?
Those are all of the dog and pet things you
could possibly I mean they are collecting the dog's fur
around the place.
Speaker 5 (01:31:26):
And what do you want them to do with that?
Speaker 6 (01:31:28):
Stick with me that it's all in the drain collecting.
We're creating a gorgeous little personalized This is all the
dog here I collected over the year of your dog.
There we go, we clap. We're excited about this idea.
Speaker 14 (01:31:43):
Thank you all so much for coming to Bridges little
showgo so gross.
Speaker 6 (01:31:52):
Do you have any ideas, like you have a single
I didn't hear a single idea I know.
Speaker 3 (01:31:59):
Oh my god, this is like, this is what I
always would to wish for on Christmas, that you would
come home and they'd be like, Santa left one more gift.
I can't believe you're Santa.
Speaker 6 (01:32:09):
Santa came back. Okay, okay, oh let's see this is great. Okay,
this is how did this get on St. Okay, this
is oh sweetness. Anyone who struggles with you becoming your
best self shouldn't get a front row seat to your
glorious show. Oh oh so I'm not. I hope we're
(01:32:29):
all hearing this. This says Bridger. I don't struggle with
you becoming your best self, which is why I'm front
row for your glorious show. Oh I'm sorry about the gift,
but it's for your green bag. Oh no, this is
a big controversy you three won't know about, but I
refuse to learn. Yeah, I'm being gas lit by in
(01:32:51):
my entire audience about the color of a bag, which
is green. I'm sorry about the gift, but it's for
your green bag. No need to worry about a leaky
bought from Rachel. So let's see what's happening here.
Speaker 3 (01:33:02):
I can't believe that.
Speaker 6 (01:33:12):
Ooh, look at all of this hot sauce. This is
probably fifty packs of chilula, which.
Speaker 7 (01:33:22):
Hey, wow, if you have a bag and you don't
have hot sauce in it, why do you have a bag?
Speaker 6 (01:33:31):
It was what a lovely gift. Thank you, Rachel, wherever
you are. Oh God, bless Now I've got all my
hot sauce. I wish I should have brought the bag.
I should have brought the bag. What a shame? Wait
did I bring you?
Speaker 12 (01:33:44):
Throw that on some of the chicken?
Speaker 6 (01:33:46):
Yeah, I didn't bring the bag.
Speaker 5 (01:33:50):
I'll make it wetter.
Speaker 6 (01:33:54):
This is the end of the podcast.
Speaker 5 (01:33:57):
I love you all.
Speaker 6 (01:33:59):
Goodbye, Thank you all, thank you, thank you. I said,
no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer
is on Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed
by Ben Holliday. The theme song is by miracle Worker
(01:34:21):
Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker,
Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram at
I said no gifts, that's where you're going to see
pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't
you want to see the gifts line?
Speaker 5 (01:34:35):
Why did you hear? Gonta man?
Speaker 4 (01:34:39):
Myself perfectly clear, But you're a guest to me.
Speaker 5 (01:34:47):
You gotta come to me empty And I said, no guests, your.
Speaker 3 (01:34:54):
Presences presents and I already too much.
Speaker 5 (01:35:00):
Stop So how do
Speaker 3 (01:35:01):
You dare to surbey me?
Host
Bridger Winegar
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