Chris Grace Disobeys Bridger

Bridger manages to control himself even as Chris Grace (Superstore, Chris Grace as Scarlett Johansson) throws an unsolicited gift in his face. The two discuss Berlin clubs, the illusion of choice, and Mandy Patinkin at home.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Well, I invited you here. I thought I made myself
perfectly clear.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
But you're a guess to my home.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
You gotta come to me empty, and.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
I said, no guests.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Your own presence is presence. And I already had too
much stuff. So how did you dare to surbey me?

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Bridgard Wineger. We're
here in the studio. I after, you know, a white
knuckle drive here, multiple wrong turns, the wrong freeway, just
an experience, but I made it and we're here. It's
cool and quiet, cave like. Ah, what is going on?

(01:14):
Not a lot? I mean, I would just take a second.
Something I've been struggling with recently. The least, I mean,
the people I liked least in high school have got
to get something other than Facebook. I'm talking to you.
I need you to get on Instagram. I don't have
a Facebook account, and it's making it very difficult for
me to spy on you. I need to keep tabs

(01:34):
on you freaks. Get an Instagram account and if it's private, fine,
but have a little, uh, you know, at least a
photo of yourself for the profile. I want to I
want to catch up with you. And I feel like
a lot of people are begging for this. Everybody, You've
got to open at least another account on some social
media other than Facebook, for most of us have left,

(01:56):
and that's probably why you're still there. But please, for
my sake open an Instagram account. That's a little, just
a little public service begging. And I think, you know,
my life other than that, other than trying to spy
on people I don't like, is empty. So let's get
into the podcast. I love today's guest. It's Chris Grace. Chris,

(02:18):
welcome to I said, no gift.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
I think you should add a truth Social account. That's
probably where you're going.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Oh my god, why didn't I think of that?

Speaker 3 (02:26):
Probably where they all are.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
That's certainly where they are all. Wow, have you been
on truth Social?

Speaker 1 (02:32):
I have not.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
I've never been.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
I assume it's like Twitter, I think, so. Yeah, that's
kind of the format of a I.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
Mean, I have an account, I just don't publish that
my Yeah, my my main media manager posts on truth So.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
All of your more secret opinion.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
I just say what my hot take of the day is,
you know, then they type it up.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
You're huge untruth Social.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
There are a lot used to be a lot of
like feral cats in my neighborhood. I live in East Hollywood,
in your Korea town. Sure not as many recently also
rise in immigrants.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
I mean two and two together. P put racism and
racism together and you had double racism. Wait, so the
but have you seen many feral cats recently? I've got
a lot suddenly in my neighborhood.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Well, we just have. We have ones that we are like,
oh what happened to? And then you know, sometimes they
you don't see them anymore and you wonder what happened carry.
We had a very friendly one that we called Rusty
that would actually come up to us and let let
she would let us pet her. Ah, very cute, like
almost like we had an outdoor cat.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Right.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
I haven't seen Rusty in two months.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
Oh that's tough. What color was she?

Speaker 3 (03:40):
We called her Rusty because she was a black and
orange like tortoise or ali coom. I don't know, but
we thought it was a boy. And then they were like.
A friend of mine was like, oh, tortoise shell cats
are almost always girl.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
Oh that's an interesting thing. I feel like with orange
cats it's a similar thing. I think almost all ginger
or orange cats are male. But now that we've both
shared this fact, I'm wondering if people just say that
about every color of cat and none of it's true.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
Most redheaded humans are male.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
Almost exclusively. I feel like there's probably three or four
red headed women on earth. The rest of them are men.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
Carol Burnett, Amy Adams.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
We lost the seal ball a long time ago.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
Those are the three.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
No, I've heard that about cats, and recently I heard
that a lot of white dogs are deaf.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
That. I don't know why. This strikes me as funny,
but it does.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
I think that's something. Of course, this is what it's
wrong with podcast.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
Those white dogs can't feel the groove? Is that what
you're saying? They're always clapping on one and three.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Most white dogs cannot dance, that's a fact. No, I've
may be white like pit bowls or something, but there's
something about that where a lot of them are Strangely,
they can't hear weird. I don't know how that lines
up genetically. Oh interesting, I mean the of their owners. Yeah,

(05:08):
big hearts of Americans adopting them. But I have a
lot of feral cats recently, and I'm loving it. I
don't know where they're coming from, but I think one
must have had babies a while ago, and now suddenly
the whole family is large.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
We had a little storage tent zipper thing, you know
what I mean, Like it's not really a storage shed,
but it's a zip up a little enclosure, and I
had a bunch of stuff in it in the back
of our house. And there was a little litter of
cats in there one day and like basically we put
out like some stuff for them to so the mother

(05:46):
could get food and stuff, right, And then next day
they're all gone. And then I see them there on
the side of our house, underneath like a little bin
storage bin. And then once we saw once the mother
realized as we had seen her there, she took them.
She kept moving.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Oh my god, the family really moved around.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
And I had video of her moving from that, Like
she would take one in her mouth, disappear a couple
minutes later, come back for another one. So that was
it was fun. And then a neighbor adopted out all
the kittens and got the mother whatever medical procedures she needed.
That mother had a right to reproductive help.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Yeah, exactly. Our cats still have it. That's very sweet.
I mean, it's very cute to see a mother cat
carrying the kittens, but it must be the most tedious
thing in the world for the mother cat having to
do that over and over.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
And then having to go find food for them or
for herself.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
This is the struggle of a single mother cat while
the father's out there doing god knows.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
What, working.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
Trying to put food on the table.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
The saddest thing about that was and I didn't tell
my I know why. I told my husband about this,
but I didn't subject him to this, which is that
in the first location in the storage tent, not all
the kittens made it.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Oh, I don't like to hear this.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
While we're going to excreciating details, but I mean, it
was anything just It wasn't like gross in any visceral sense.
It was just that like two of them weren't breathing,
and so I it was upon me too. I tried
to give them a little you know, that's very sweet.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
That breaks my heart.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
I know it's right, but I'm sure the mother was
just like, that's the way it goes.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
Oh, yeah, she knows how nature works. The rest of
us have.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
Well, Actually, I around the time I was reading about
mothers and their kittens, and once she gets some sort
of up to speed, she sort of kicks them out
of her territory. Oh, like like they're not really going
to be able to like be hunt in the same
area as the mother because it's like, no, this is competition. Yeah,

(07:52):
like go off and find your own. Oh yeah, that's rough.
That's rough living. Well, I guess it's the way when
we go to after high school. We got to get
out of there.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
I kept eating all my mom's food and she asked
me to leave.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
Yeah, exactly, that was your territory.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yeah, exactly. She got very violent.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
That cold Stone was hers.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
Do you have any pets?

Speaker 3 (08:15):
We had two pets, two cats we had.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (08:19):
Yeah. They passed away two years ago, one within forty
eight hours of each other.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
Do you think it was a cause, I mean the
effect of the first I think so.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
Actually, I think there was some sort of chemical effect
or whatever, and at some point I think we might
get some more. But it's it's the idea of pets.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
I had a dog.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
It's the sort of pro and con of like you
miss having them, but also the house is really clean. Sure, sure,
it's like there's not just suspended for in the air constantly,
you know, and then also like because my husband loves
dogs as well, but also there's the like traveling and.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah, I mean it's a lot. I mean it's like, yeah,
we lost our dog last year, and that's like the
one sliver of like, well, this is one part of
our life that's a little bit easier.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
How was it dog?

Speaker 2 (09:10):
She was nine?

Speaker 3 (09:11):
Yeah. I I've never as an adult had a dog. Oh,
but I always have me so I have friends that
I understand taking care of dogs is more is harder
than cats. And I also understand that taking care of
human children is harder. But I sometimes suspect that dog
owners and newborn parents or you know, parents and newborns
are maybe ten percent exaggerating how quickly they get they

(09:34):
got to get home from your party?

Speaker 2 (09:36):
Oh my god, one percent. I mean it was every.

Speaker 3 (09:40):
Time we gotta go, Yeah, we got the jog.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
Look it's eight fifteen, We've got to get home.

Speaker 3 (09:45):
It's like, I think that animal could survive another twenty
minutes so we could finish this game of Uno no
no no.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
That is an enormous benefit to having any type of pet.
Is an immediate escape from any situation. Yeah, and people
can there's nothing they can do.

Speaker 3 (10:02):
I can hack into your ring camera and monitor that dog.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
While you've never had a dog as an adult, that's
going to be a very different experience. Did you have
one as a kid?

Speaker 3 (10:12):
I had one as a kid, but I wasn't the
primary caretaker of them, so I've never been the one
that had to regularly. And also when I was a kid,
we had a big yard, so I don't remember walking
the dog ever. The dog would just get to roam
in the yard.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
Exactly right. I'll sure smaller big.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
My husband likes German Shepherds and Golden Retrievers, high energy.
He's I think reluctant to do it in LA because
our house is like not super big, right, And I
don't particularly want a small dog. Okay, sure, I think
if we had a we uy as well have a cat,
I think, But actually I don't really know.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
I mean, a small dog can have all sorts of personalities,
so you can have a real vicious one very docile. Yeah,
but you kind of never know what you're going to
get until it gets to the living room.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
Everybody loves having them. It's like kids too, you know.
People are always like, one they have the kids, They're like,
you gotta do it.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
I think that that's a trap. I think that that's
just people being like, well, we've got to drag more
people in this situation.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
I think hormonally they believe what they're saying.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, evolution is telling them, yeah, basically tell other people
to keep reproducing.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
I think that there is something that happens to my
friends when they had kids, like whatever, parts of them
were sort of like not lazy, but like, oh, I'm
never going to get around to like writing that screenplay
or doing that thing whatever. A lot of them get
kicked into overdrive when they had a kid, oh, because
it was like, oh I got to like establish myself
or make some money.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
Or now something else depends on me. Yes, yeah, okay,
well maybe I will have a kid for your career.
That's spark my career need. Yes, I'm gonna have a
lot of kids in a quick succession. Yes, and then
when things don't go right, I can blame them. So,
I mean when parents.

Speaker 3 (11:56):
Do do that, they do that all the time.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
Do you have any interest in having kids?

Speaker 3 (12:01):
No? I just don't think that. Like I can't get
my credit cards paid off right, like what you know?
And also I do buy a lot of stuff. I
told you before we recorded that I was in Burbank
all day. Yes, and one of one of the part
of that was that I was walking around the Glendale Galleria.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
Did you get anything?

Speaker 3 (12:22):
I bought a lot of stuff, and I was like, Oh,
this is why I don't walk around malls.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
What did you get?

Speaker 3 (12:26):
I got a new case from my iPhone, which I needed.
That's why I was going to I was picking it
up from the Apple Store. Then I decided to walk
around and I got a Robert Graham shirt.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Oh fantastic, which.

Speaker 3 (12:42):
I don't think that I knew that this was a
gay brand.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
Oh I okay, I mean when I let's just be
all cards on the table, I have no idea what
this brand because I acted. Of course, I'm here's what
I thought it was.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
Do you know the the Koch brothers, the yeah, of course. Okay.
So one of them has a child named Wayne, Oh wow,
of course, and he has a brand, and I thought
it was his brand. So I thought it would be
funny to buy a shirt from his brand, because they're
kind of ridiculous. If you ever watched I think you
should leave. There's this thing called Dan Flasher's shirts that
are like these extremely busy patterned shirts, and the Wayne Coke,

(13:16):
the son of the richest people in the world. He
designs these like Dan Flashes type shirts. So I just
want to see what they're They're pretty bad. But his
brand is actually called Wayne Ingraham. Oh so I went
in there going like, this is that guy's brand, and
then I'm like looking at it, I'm like, and they
are like flashy, like they are similarly intricated. And then

(13:38):
I was just googling. I was like, Okay, what was
the guy's name? And turns out this is a completely
different brand. But then also Robert Graham, which is the
story I was in, is a prominent gay men's It
is very not like most of the shirts in there are.
They're like the kind of shirts that Cam would wear
on Modern Family. Okay sure, and they're very like your
seventy year old couple friend from home Springs.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
I mean, you didn't need to say any of this.
I am picturing this type. Yeah, I mean, I assume
will all end up in that period of our life
when that's our entire wardrobe you're starting.

Speaker 3 (14:11):
You start tripped to toss kind of mistake.

Speaker 2 (14:14):
We can blame the Koch brothers.

Speaker 3 (14:15):
But exactly. But I did find one shirt that I
liked and I got it, and then I walked and
got I got some crocs.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
Just lose control, and.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
Then I got I did need a belt from Unicloth,
and I got a some pants from Unicloth.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
I love unlo of course, for all sorts of staples.

Speaker 3 (14:38):
Also stables. They their clothes seem to fit me well,
like they're cut in a good way for me. I
don't know if it's because I'm Asian and they're Japanese,
you know, it could be, but yeah, the crocs might
have been it. I've cut the receipts for all these things.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
What color are the crocs?

Speaker 3 (14:50):
Crocs are a dark purple.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
Okay, I'm glad you picked an actual color.

Speaker 3 (14:54):
Yes, oh, I was supposed to do.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
Like I'm trapped with a black pair and it's just
so boring to wear.

Speaker 3 (15:00):
I try to buy colors in general, like you know,
and sometimes I actually try to buy a like if I'm
buying a shirt, sometimes I'll just buy a shirt that's
like I don't think. I don't know if I would
wear this color I'll.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
Just buy it and then do you regret it?

Speaker 3 (15:13):
Ever? No, I've been in a lot of hot pinks
and fluorescent oranges, and I don't know, I've enjoyed it.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
I can see you in both of those colors.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
I'm enjoying them. This shirt I bought at a Tesco
grocery store, you know, from a grocery oh, in the
UK and in outside of London.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
Oh, okay, that makes it. I mean I was gonna say,
if you had bought it from like a Ralph's esque store,
that would be shocking because it's very stylish.

Speaker 3 (15:35):
Yeah, if I bought it from Food for Less smart Final,
but I mean that's kind of what it was.

Speaker 2 (15:40):
Yeah, But I mean, I think the UK always has
a little edge.

Speaker 3 (15:43):
On UK's grocery stores are so much better than ours.

Speaker 2 (15:46):
They're beautiful, ye, corgious stores. I think most European countries
have really nice grocery stores compared to whatever we're dealing
with here.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
They do. They're a lot. You just have to get
used to the fact that if you want let's say, mustard,
you have maybe two to pick from.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
Right, You're not just assaulted by an entire wall.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
But I mean, is that losing that much really, like, yes,
screw those countries.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
No, we need in the United States. We need the
illusion of choice and it needs to be the biggest
possible illusion. And that's why our mustard, I mean, it's
an entire aisle of mustard.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
I think probably we use more purchasing things. I know
everyone does this, but I think we particularly use like
the thing we buy as as a statement every time
we buy it. You know, like if you're getting the
Hinds simply organic, you know, you're you're asserting like a
tiny sliver of your identity when you buy that.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
Right, you make mistakes shopping.

Speaker 3 (16:49):
And I think that, yeah, you make bad decisions. I
think that a British person doesn't care that much like
which ketchup they get, not necessarily their desire to, you know,
be an individual expression every time they pick economy.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
Every single thing there.

Speaker 3 (17:05):
And I think we are open to that in every
single thing we buy.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
Yeah, that's probably very true. I mean on the topic
of mustard, though, I will say there are.

Speaker 3 (17:15):
So many mustard casts.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
I love all mustards. Do you every single mustard? Have
you ever been to worst koucha that plays the Sausage.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
Place downtown, Yes, yes, I have.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
Oh, the mustard's on display at this place. I get
every bottle I've got. I've got one broad Worst, but
I eat I try every mustard well every time I go,
because I like all of them.

Speaker 3 (17:35):
So do you like them all or do you have
a hierarchy of I like.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
The ce deer one, like the whole grain one. Yes,
but I don't think that. I think they basically are
a level for me. I like the honey mustard, I
love the yellow mustards. So it's just it takes me
about six hours to eat one broad Worst because I'm
trying the different mustards.

Speaker 3 (17:52):
And that's not ephem. Do you is there some kind
of cultural genetic reason for this? Do you think is that?

Speaker 2 (18:00):
I feel like there there's got to be a reason
for a lot of my problems.

Speaker 3 (18:04):
That's a problem.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
I think there is some some German in my family.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
Uh huh.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
And so maybe there's this mustard love dormant somewhere and
made that just whenever I go to a broad Worst place.

Speaker 3 (18:16):
I haven't forbid you ever go to Berlin or something.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
I'll collapse. I'll just disintegree. Have you been to Berlin?

Speaker 3 (18:23):
No? Actually, I am not going to next week the
Berlin Improfestival. Oh and I was invited to go, but
I can because I just tell me, if you agree
with this reasoning, it would have been that next week
I go to Berlin, the weekend after I would go
to Vegas for another event, and then the weekend after
that I would go to Edinburgh, Scotland. Oh and I

(18:43):
felt that the jet lag whiplash of those three weekends
in a row is going to be too brutal.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
That I mean, I was ready to say you're wrong, Yeah,
but I guess I agree. And just the fact that
it's Las Vegas in particular in the middle. It's a
real tough place to be, even just on its own. Yes,
in between two huge international flights.

Speaker 3 (19:04):
Yes, unfortunately, But I have heard wonderful things about Berlin
and I do want.

Speaker 2 (19:07):
To get Yeah, people go crazy for it.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
Yeah, there's a there's this super exclusive club called bert
berg Hine. What's this that is? Like? You wait seven
hours in line and it's very difficult to get in.
I mean, not really my speed, but I'm intrigued.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
What what are you as a person? After seven hours?

Speaker 3 (19:29):
Perfect to get rejected from burg Hinding. I mean I
waited for I think I waited for maybe two hours
to get into the tunnel in Manhattan way back in
the day.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
Two hours is too.

Speaker 3 (19:39):
Much on the West Side, and got rejected because I
was wearing khakis, and the bouncer she was like, sorry, guys,
it's too casual. I'm not gonna be able to do
that tonight. But then someone told me, like, I'll just
go back and the same night, and went back at
like one and they were letting everybody in.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
After midnight is khaki hour.

Speaker 3 (19:57):
I think that, you know, people are leaving and they.

Speaker 2 (19:59):
They're just trying to keep the club full. They should
have somebody policing the line up and down the line
looking for khakis. Don't make somebody wait two hours, no khakis.
It's ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (20:09):
That was one of the only times that I ever
went to a club and like left at ten am
where people were starting their day.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
That just does not exist within me.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
I I mean, I think I've only done that maybe
twice my whole life.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
Oh yeah, I don't know that I could do it those.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
In my twenties in New York City.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
You know, I don't care what age I would be.
It would kill me. No circuit parties but maybe that's
waiting for me. Maybe there will be like a new
chapter when suddenly I've got the second wind.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
The one thing is that gay men you have access
to the circuit party life until you are dead, Like
there is no maximum age as long as you're only
wearing white. Or if you want to be the guy
that does the flags in the corner, yeah, I mean
the guys that do the flags. It's like, well they
found a skill and there I never seen more than

(21:02):
one at one.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
Party, but right well I'm going to dominate that part
of the circuit parties.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
Do you have you done? Stand up? Do you stand up? No?

Speaker 2 (21:11):
I don't do stand up.

Speaker 3 (21:12):
Maybe this is your time in the corner to do it.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
Who knows, there's always something waiting for us. It's a
new chapter.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
I mean that relentless youth of the gay man as
he ages, you know what I mean, Like they just
don't give up on anything. They never really.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
Realize cleaning to their thirties.

Speaker 3 (21:31):
I mean, I bought some of those sweatshirt swove rolls.
You know this. It's overalls made out of like sweatshirt material.

Speaker 2 (21:39):
Wow, how have I never come across very comfortable?

Speaker 3 (21:41):
But also they do make me look like I'm trying
to be like twenty years old.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
Or a baby.

Speaker 3 (21:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
Yeah, it's baby clothing.

Speaker 3 (21:49):
Or you know gay man wearing those like kaftans and stuff.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
Oh, I'm familiar. I've got I've basically been given one
on this podcast.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
There you go.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
It's more of a tunic, but you know, like loose,
flowing piece of material.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
But I mean, I think there's going to be admired
about that, you know that. I think we feel like
we can just have access to anything we want our
whole life. Like we never age ourselves out of anything, right,
We're never just like maybe I shouldn't go to precinct
and dew Poppers till one am or whatever, you know,
like there's no you know, I mean it's also to
be despised as well, of course.

Speaker 2 (22:23):
Of course, I mean, speaking of things to despise, Chris,
I was very excited to have you here on the
podcast today. I thought, he'll come by, we'll just chat,
get to know each other, wrap the podcast, and we'll
go home. No feelings, sirved. Yes, the podcast is called
I said, No Gifts. Yes, I assume you got an

(22:45):
email about this at some point with the title of
the show. Yes, pretty clear directive. So I was a
little thrown when you waltzed into the studio holding what
would not more clearly be a gift for me.

Speaker 3 (23:02):
Well, this is a card that says Bridger on it.
So I guess you could assume that. But one of
my love languages is gift giving.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
Is that true?

Speaker 3 (23:10):
It is? Actually I'm a very good gift giver.

Speaker 2 (23:12):
Oh I wish I was a good I'm good for
like one one gift a year for one person and everyone.

Speaker 3 (23:19):
We'll text it, I mean we'll see so yes, unfortunately,
and it says it does.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
There's an immediate apology, which I appreciate. Yes, every card
should just have a sorry underneath it.

Speaker 3 (23:28):
Just a lower expect this, I mean, this is, this
is meeting the minimal definition of wrapped.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
By the way, this is much more wrapped than a
lot of give.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
I didn't I didn't know that. Oh wow, well then,
I mean clearly in the median of yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
You're like a nice average it passed so nice.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
That's that says something poor about your previous guests.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
I would say, I'm happy to say a lot of
bad things about previous guests. Okay, so it's in this
nice little brown on Alpe and I'm opening it and
I'm seeing them says Typo on it, which I do
know is a store in the Glendale.

Speaker 3 (24:09):
I didn't I left off one stop. I will say.
The card and I got at today, but the gift
I did not get today. Okay, okay, the gift was
not a last minute Okay.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
This is again, And I will say a lot of
the gifts on this podcast were probably found in someone's
glove box.

Speaker 3 (24:27):
So you're in studio here, you're killing I'm giving you
a canon camera, I wish.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Okay, So this okay, So the card says goodbye. It's
just scary.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
Inside it is just anthrax. I like giving cards that
are just don't fit the occasion at all. Sometimes.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yeah, I don't know that this fits any I.

Speaker 3 (24:48):
Also thought that this was a funny card because if
you look on the inside, you can unfold that later.
But like, there's no it's a blank card, right.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
This is a very cold, scary It.

Speaker 3 (24:59):
Just as goodbye on the outside and nothing on the inside. Oh,
so this is.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
You give this to somebody before, you know, assassinating, executing,
or in hospice.

Speaker 3 (25:12):
Maybe you giving them a card you're giving them one
last thing to throw away as they're in their their
hospice room is getting all cluttered for the nurse.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
To throw in a plastic exactly, goodbye. That's that's a
tough card to get. Oh god, I'm gonna have to
be careful driving home tonight. Okay, so now we're hoping
there's a piece of paper in here that I'm unfolding.
I am thrilled that it's a voucher for I Fly,
which is the thing where you go in the cage

(25:43):
and there's the shooting, yes, where they blow you up
into the air.

Speaker 3 (25:49):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (25:50):
Have you done this before?

Speaker 1 (25:51):
No?

Speaker 3 (25:51):
I listened to I think maybe it might have been
a Jimmy Parter episode. You were saying that you don't
like you you're getting too much clutter.

Speaker 2 (25:59):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
I specifically mentioned that you you wanted an I Fly.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
Wait did I really say it?

Speaker 3 (26:04):
Did? That's this is the kind of gift giver. I am, well,
you're incredible this.

Speaker 2 (26:08):
You should do this as a second career. I mean,
that's amazing. I don't have any recollection of that, and
I mean, but of course this is something that I
would love to do and would never buy for myself.

Speaker 3 (26:19):
Yeah, right, the gift Universal City Walk, I believe is
where it is. Oh, and it's yeah, I wouldn't get
that for myself either, because I find that a little scary.
But it seemed like you were open to the ideas.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
I'm open to the idea of flying through the air
and possibly being thrown against the side of a wall.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
And also this doesn't clut up your home.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
Oh absolutely not. I mean it's a life experience. This
is probably going to immediately go into top ten. Experience
is so wonderful. I don't know what that says about
my life that something at the City Walk is in
top ten. But I is there anything that could get
you to do this? Is it super scary or is
it like I just would rather not?

Speaker 3 (26:58):
It's more I think now it's more just that I
would rather not, because like there's rides at Disneyland in
California Adventure now that I can go on, Like I
can go on Matterhorn, and I can go on Space Mountain. Yes,
they're not overly scary to me, right, But the last
time I went Space Mountain, I was like that might
be the last time, because it just threw me around
in a way that I was like, Eh, that wasn't

(27:19):
so fun, right, It wasn't so much like they're like
some genuine roller coasters I am scared of. But Space
Mountain is not one of them.

Speaker 2 (27:27):
No, it's very it's a very mild ride.

Speaker 3 (27:30):
Yeah, but I felt for my back.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
It was a little well, do not get back on
the matter.

Speaker 3 (27:34):
Horn matter horns horrible. I'd rather be murdered by the yetti.
I will say that this is my This is why
I say I'm a good gift giver, because often I'll
give my husband things at Christmas or whatever that he mentioned,
like in February off hand, and I'll have a little
note somewhere or an Amazon wish list or something that's
so you know sweet.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
I wish I had the wherewithal the memory or just
the heart, or to listen to people interesting, the people
I love. Would you ever actually skydive?

Speaker 3 (28:07):
I'm so neutral about that. I don't feel particular. I mean, yeah,
I think I would be very nervous and scared, but
I'm not like terrified of it. I'm also not super
interested in it. I don't know why. I'm like, I
just feel very not anything about it. I don't know.
That's that's maybe maybe it's a form of dys time.

Speaker 2 (28:25):
Here or interesting thing to have no opinion.

Speaker 3 (28:28):
It's so it's I've never done it, and it's but
it's not a thing that I'm like, Man, it's on
my bucket list one day, I want to how are you?

Speaker 2 (28:35):
Oh, I couldn't do it. I mean, I think I
catch the bug after this, though, I know maybe this
is you.

Speaker 3 (28:39):
This is gonna be it's too low to the ground and.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
This all leads to goodbye.

Speaker 1 (28:44):
No.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
I feel like I could probably get there. I could
get up into the plane, but I think once we
get to the what do we call that the door
on the plane that you jump out of that can't
possibly call the door hatch.

Speaker 3 (28:56):
My friend skydived, and he said the weirdest thing for
him was being in the plane on the ascent and
realizing that he was not going back down a plane,
which which is kind of weird. I never thought about
it that way, but yeah, it's like, oh, it's a
it's you're only taking half of this plane ride.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
Oh god, that's terrifying.

Speaker 3 (29:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:15):
I feel like the you know, the instructor taped to
the instructor or whatever. But I feel like animal instinct
would take over for me and I would injure them
myself in the plane.

Speaker 3 (29:25):
I mean, there was there was someone in New York
State that died because when he you know, they did tandem.
When he jumped out, his head whipped back and he
knocked out the instructor. So the instructor just passed out
and they both died. And I think they I think
they died because the student, I think he could have

(29:45):
pulled whatever, but he just didn't like if you, if you,
He didn't realize he had knocked the guy out. So
you're just you've passed the lower altitude where you should
have pulled this.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
Why is doing it horrible at his job?

Speaker 3 (29:58):
Yeah, yelp review for that, it's gonna be awful. He's
leaving it at last one hundred meters. He was leaving
a Yelp review.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
This is the worst service.

Speaker 3 (30:06):
I as soon as he got in so range, he
was like, you know, with skydiving, I think one is that. Yeah.
I think your first whatever, like twenty or maybe are
like tandem or whatever.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
You can't just do it on your own.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
And so I think part of my reluctance too, is
like I feel like if I actually think skydiving. There
are a lot of things like that that I easily
could fall into a rabbit hole of, like, oh, I'm
really getting into skydiving now, and now like every weekend
I'm going to do jumps or whatever.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
You know what I mean, And that's who you are now.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
I think I have to be more judicious as I
get older about which of these things I allow myself
to get into rabbit holes.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
What's the last thing you went into a real fixation
with this year?

Speaker 3 (30:51):
The biggest fixation is this social deduction game called Blood
on the clock Tower, Oh, which all of my friends
are so sick of hearing me talk about. It's been
just over a year that I've been extremely deep into this.
That's why I will be in Vegas on October for
that reason. Really, Vegas clock Tower con. You're deep, So.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
You're picking a con in Vegas over going to Berlin.

Speaker 3 (31:16):
Essentially, Yeah, I mean what I could have done was
go to Berlin and just stay in Europe through that
middle week and skip the convention completely. That is an
option that I could have been right.

Speaker 2 (31:26):
But basically, what I'm saying is this game that you've
become obsessed with is really starting to affect your life.

Speaker 3 (31:31):
Would I mean, no question at all. I mean I
am very dedicated to it. I am very chagrined to
talk about it to my friends.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
Well, I've got a podcast episode for them.

Speaker 3 (31:43):
Oh, what's that this one? Well? Have you ever played
Werewolf for Mafia?

Speaker 2 (31:47):
I've played Mafia, and what do you feel about it?
I enjoy it?

Speaker 3 (31:50):
Okay, It's essentially Mafia with some improved rules to it
that make the game like a lot more fun, such
as such as in Mafia, when you die, if you're
killed by the mafia or if you're voted to die
by the town by the villagers, you can't talk anymore. Right,
You can open your eyes at night so you can
see who's evil and who's not, but you can't speak
anymore for the rest of the game. So if you're

(32:11):
the first one killed in Mafia, you go the rest
of the You're essentially not participating in Blood on the
clock Tower. When you die, you continue to speak through
the rest of the game, and you win or lose
with your team good or evil. But you still close
your eyes at night, so you don't know everyone's identities. Okay,
and when you die, your your role is not announced.

(32:31):
The town doesn't know if you were good or evil.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
Wait, so what does dying do at all?

Speaker 3 (32:37):
You lose your ability, which everyone in the game has
an ability as opposed to to yes, where as opposed
in Mafia there are some villagers who don't really do anything.
Everyone has one, and when you die, you lose it
and you only get to vote one more time for
like a town execution. Okay, those are like the big changes,
but they do a lot like the fact that you

(32:57):
when you die you get to keep playing. Right. Also, specifically,
if you are an evil player that gets killed and
you were trying to bluff and convince people that you
were good, you keep doing that, you keep up the ruse,
or you try to like confuse information, deflex suspicion away
from your other teammates and that kind of stuff. It's
very fun.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
This sounds like it was created by somebody who was
constantly losing in Mafia, and.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
It is specifically created by a guy named Stephen Medway
who was killed in Mafia and had to be silent
for another two hours.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
He's very unpopular in his friend.

Speaker 3 (33:32):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
Yeah, I always wonder who the creators of these games
are because they're almost like sleepover games that seem like
they just appear out of nowhere.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
Yeah, this is a youngish company that's like five to
ten years old now, and because of my falling into
the rabbit hole, I'm not friends with everybody in the company.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
Oh my god, and you're an ambassador.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
I am actually genuinely like this conversation. I've hanged with you,
I've had with a lot of people, and I have
turned a lot of people onto the game. You're welcome
to him play.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
Oh, I would love to. I'll probably make everyone mad somehow.

Speaker 3 (34:05):
Uh No, you'll be fine.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
Don't underestimate.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
Yeah, you know. I also want to say that my
husband is a musical theater actor. He's going to really
I don't think he'll like that I said this, but
I'm just gonna say anyway, a casting director once told
him that he could be I can't remember the exact phrasing.
I think he was told that he could be the
next Jimmy Smoo.

Speaker 2 (34:27):
I was about to be like, oh, my boyfriend is
also we can't this is going to inflate jim Zgo
so much. That's crazy.

Speaker 3 (34:37):
Well, because my husband is also often a person doing
sit down your rock in the boat. I'll just say
that that's that was his you know, oh yeah crack.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
Did in the Jimmy Part episode, did we talk about
the first time I saw Jim sing.

Speaker 3 (34:53):
No?

Speaker 2 (34:54):
Because it's it's such a was this at the Jeff
Franklin's house, the creator of Full.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
So because I thought you were at that party, because
you knew Jim I was.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
We had been dating for two weeks, okay, cool, and
he was like, I'm doing this weird thing. You probably
don't want to go. I was like, of course I want.

Speaker 3 (35:10):
Yes, So this this whole story of the shark tank
and the Yeah, because I'm a dedicated part of listener,
this has uh this is part of like Jimmy Potter lore,
right because it's come up a few times, and also
other people tangential to it, like or people that know
Iliana Douglas. This hit this story and you were on

(35:33):
the podcast as well and you talked about so it's
almost like Bat's doing echo location, like each Bat has, like,
you know, cast a new part of this story. And
then actually recently my husband and I looked at a
there's a recent like YouTube real estate video of that house.

Speaker 4 (35:51):
Oh no, shark Tank one like the it's like sixty
million dollars, so much money, And it's a tour of
like the house that I think you were in because
you can see the shark.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
Tank on the I to look at this, it's but weirdly,
like I we were watching I know this sounds ridiculous,
but we were watching that going like I don't think
I'd want to live in this house. Like no, it's
kind of like the tasted level is not there.

Speaker 2 (36:18):
The taste level doesn't exist at all. It's so tacky. Yeah,
and for like sixty million. Whenever a house is that
much money, I'm like, if someone has that much money,
aren't they just making the house they want?

Speaker 3 (36:28):
Yeah, but oh I'm not.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
I'm not gonna go buy Jeff Franklin's gross used house
if I have one hundred million dollars.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
But maybe. I mean it's weird to think that you
would see that house and be like, yeah, that's.

Speaker 2 (36:40):
This is for me.

Speaker 3 (36:41):
That's the they the decorations there, or the way it's
laid out or whatever. The way it's like inside is
like a Spanish villa, but like like partially, Yeah, it
was very confused in terms of its style and also
I always think about the maintenance of those. Of course.
I mean, if I could ever afford a I think,

(37:02):
what's a really what's a realistic house price for us
to hit.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
In Los Angeles? Like if we've got became moderately pretty
successful in.

Speaker 3 (37:11):
Los Angeles makes it hard because everyone's like, what, well,
because you legitimately need to like, say one million dollars
for like yeah, like I think if I could get
like a larch month two million dollar house.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
That doesn't exist. I think in Large one it's at
least three at this point. Oh, I like larche Mont
so much, so you've got to keep working working.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
That's why I'm doing this podcast exactly.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
The check is huge.

Speaker 3 (37:40):
Where can I get that two million? Like at water?

Speaker 2 (37:43):
At Water?

Speaker 3 (37:43):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Absolutely, Okay, I'm not the way the confidence that I'm
bringing to real estate, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
Don't you like Larchemont though it's so nice?

Speaker 2 (37:53):
Large One's very nice, But you're not going to get
a two million dollar house there.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
I'll show you Bridger. I come back on this pocket.

Speaker 2 (38:00):
As we have ah dangling the key.

Speaker 3 (38:02):
Yes, so one. I have a lot of friends who
post those things of like, I forget what they do
and they're like, we we closed on whatever, and you
know they live in like Indiana or something, and it's
so slightly frustrated.

Speaker 2 (38:20):
Oh yeah, they're like, oh, you've got a house.

Speaker 3 (38:22):
Easy. But the thing that was, she'll never listen to this,
So I don't think it's the matter. My niece, who
is much younger than me, bought a house and I
was like, oh what this isn't how this is supposed
to Wait a minute, You're supposed to like come to
La and sleep on my foot on.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
It's a it's a hard city to explain to anyone
who doesn't live here, which just makes no The cost
of living makes no sense to anybody.

Speaker 3 (38:49):
Yeah, and the despair. I also, I think it's hard
here because you have friends that are not even like
distant acquaintances, but you have some friends that just like
have done very well. And I had just I have
friends where I go to their house. I'm like, oh,
what how did this happen?

Speaker 2 (39:10):
No? I mean I was just talking to somebody about
this in La, like I know, legitimate like multi millionaires,
just like the nature of being here and working in
the business. And then I have friends who are like
I don't know if I'm gonna have health insurance this year.

Speaker 3 (39:23):
Yeah, you're all.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
In the same business in the same city. It makes
no sense whatsoever.

Speaker 3 (39:27):
Yeah. Like, I have a friend who was like season
regular on a CBS show for like eight years, oh,
and started investing in homes and so now owns like
four homes in La Wow, and like two apartments in
New York. And it's just like, yeah, because like season
three of whatever medical Cops show or whatever your season

(39:47):
regular season three and four, You're just like, oh, I
just have like eight hundred thousand dollars sitting around. What
am I gonna do with it?

Speaker 2 (39:53):
So crazy to make the dream to become a to
play a nerd or a data scientist on.

Speaker 3 (40:00):
To be to be the hacker comic on the very
serious Murder show where on CBS shows they go to
that character and that character just does like straight up bits.
It's so weird because I watched them sometimes and it's
just like, Oh, I've auditioned for like Scorpion or whatever,

(40:22):
and it's just like it's so odd to me.

Speaker 2 (40:25):
Just jarring Tonal.

Speaker 3 (40:26):
Yeah, there was there was a remember a Scorpion or
a CSI cyber oh, where Horatio Sans like guests starred
and just did a fully comic character in the middle
of like the room was covered in blood.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
That's the dream. It's the dream ten seasons.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
Better to be that than the medical examiner on a sitcom.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
Oh yeah, that's a dull job. Yeah, that's very dull
job to give. Just going back a little bit to
give some context about the Jeff Franklin House, because I
don't think I've ever actually talked about on this podcast.
I'm curious to know, like you piecing it together from
Jimmy Parteros, what you what the situation.

Speaker 3 (41:12):
I'll give you a quick summer what I know. Iliana
Douglas was tasked with sort of organizing these home concerts in.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
Our variety shows called living room shows.

Speaker 3 (41:21):
Yes, in Jeff Franklin's or maybe other people's rich home,
rich people's house. And I've done some home concerts shows
as well, and you invite some other friends. I believe
Tom Jones was in the audience, because Jimmy's obsessed with
Tom Jones and Jimmy Smagoula. Did he sing sit on
You're rocking the Boat? He Okay, which I think was
on YouTube at one point. It was Yeah, there are

(41:42):
a bunch of clips from this. These Illienna Douglas living
room shows were on YouTube at one point and they're
not anymore.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Oh no, they've been scrubbed.

Speaker 3 (41:48):
They've been scrubbed, and maybe by Iliana. The what I
remember because I remember seeing the Sit on Your Rocking
Boat on YouTube at one point, and then Jimmy did
not want to go on and explicitly asked to not perform,
and then Pardo Jimmy Parter, yes and uh, and then
Ileanna put him on anyway and it went poorly. That's

(42:11):
that is. I think that's the summary of what I
know from the part O verse.

Speaker 2 (42:14):
He kind of directly addressed Tom Jones.

Speaker 3 (42:17):
Yes, because he does like Tom Jones. He knows that
Tom Jones rap or whatever's the Tom Jones song where
Tom Jones rapped.

Speaker 2 (42:24):
I got to hear this. Yeah, yeah, Tom Jones. I'm
always shocked that he's Welsh. Oh yes, yes, yes, it
makes no sense to me, right, it seems very Florida.

Speaker 3 (42:33):
That's right. Have you seen Jimmy Smagoula on Broadway?

Speaker 2 (42:38):
Yes, last year he was. They did spam a lot.
Oh cool, and he's uh, they're in rehearsal. Right now
for a new thing about Louis Armstrong called Wonderful World.

Speaker 3 (42:47):
And he's playing Louis.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
Yes, he's planning to end his career.

Speaker 3 (42:52):
He's puffing his cheeks out.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
No, he's playing Louis Armstrong's manager. I want to see, of.

Speaker 3 (42:58):
Course, all these bio musical I don't know if it's
by a musical. Yes, they always have a white manager
or record executive that comes in and is, like, you know,
gives them some advice or whatever, and then ends up
sort of like screwing them over on a contract or
something like that. And like the I think the Gloria
Stefan one had one. I think the Donna Summer Musical

(43:19):
had one. Oh my god, like the Temptations one has
one or whatever. Like there's always just like a guy
in like a leisure suit.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Of course, mind a desk slime ball. Yeah, I think
he is. He probably. I don't know that much about
the character, but I have to assume it's kind of
a slimy guy.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
I just I can't wait to see him in the
middle show seeing what a Wonderful World as this character.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
But yeah, it was a Jeff Franklin's house which was
built on the former grounds of the Sharon Tate.

Speaker 3 (43:50):
Home, So not the same house like they tore down.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
They tore down a very I mean, there are limited
photos of that one because I think most of them
from the crime scene the manson. But that looked like
a nice, charming home, right, he ripped it down and
made something way more cursed.

Speaker 3 (44:05):
I mean, every time you see a photo of like
some old Hollywood legends home, they always seem nice and
kind of by moner standards modest, yes, yes, And they
seem like that would be a cool house to live in,
like it'd be cool to live in Fred Astaire's house
or whatever, of course, and then they often are replaced
by these sort.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
Of like Vegas style trash bins. Yeah, this place sucked.

Speaker 3 (44:27):
Also, I bet Sharon Tate's version had a lot more
yard to it.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Oh, I'm sure this had a very little yard.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
They always push out to the edges. Yeah, of course,
you know, maybe having that much yard allow of people
to sneak onto the property.

Speaker 2 (44:41):
And Jeff Franklin is you know his fans are just
trying to get over that fence all the time.

Speaker 3 (44:45):
Yes, And who was Jeff? Wait you said Jeff Franklin.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
Yeah, Full House, and then I believe we might have
to cut this. But I think there were a lot
of allegations. Okay, I think that the Franklin.

Speaker 3 (44:55):
Trail, allegations that Full House sucked.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
None of the more true. It's an excellent program.

Speaker 3 (45:01):
Never watched an episode of My Whole Life.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
Oh I loved it as a kid.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
But for children, what's full about the house?

Speaker 2 (45:07):
I mean, the whole family's there. You've got the father,
everybody except for the mom who died and that starts
the show.

Speaker 3 (45:14):
How many fathers are there?

Speaker 2 (45:16):
There's one father, two uncles, three. Dave Coolier is one
of the uncles. John Stamos is an uncle.

Speaker 3 (45:24):
Who's Oh, Bob Sackett is the dad.

Speaker 2 (45:25):
Bob Sacket's the dad. Lori Laughlin is oh college lady. Yes, okay,
this is These are my connections to the show. Oh wait,
are the uncles his brothers or are they the dead
mother's brothers? That is such a good question.

Speaker 3 (45:39):
I don't know if Stamos is his brother and Kolier
is the.

Speaker 2 (45:43):
Right the ghost's brother, I don't remember, but I Stamos's
character is very Greek, and no one else in the
show is Greek, so I don't know how that plays
into it. Maybe he's just a friend who calls himself.

Speaker 3 (46:01):
Maybe the dead mother is like the goddess Athena.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
She's been pulled into the under world and Danny Tanner
has to confront hates.

Speaker 3 (46:10):
Right, and then John Samos was walking out of Hell
and turned back, and she turned into she went back
to Hell. But then they brought them back as fuller house.
So Jeff frank was a little around. He's not living
in that house anymore. It's for sale. I don't know
what you make from this podcast, but we could get
you into that.

Speaker 2 (46:30):
Yeah, I'm looking at look, I'm circling the property. Yeah,
I'm constantly on the phone with my book marked on
Zillo Jeff frankon. He may have been run out of town.

Speaker 3 (46:41):
You know, I think, I know this is often said.
I don't think people really get run out of town.
I told you before we recorded that I was in
Burbank all day and I was what I did, literally
have six hours to kill in Burbank, and I just
I have I had my car, like I could have
driven home, but you know, I don't know, I just
didn't feel like it, Like I was like sometimes when

(47:03):
if I go to Santa Monica.

Speaker 2 (47:05):
Oh, you're not coming back, right.

Speaker 3 (47:06):
And I don't know. I mean, Burbank is really not
the same. But I just stayed out here in Burbank,
and so I went to see Megalopolis. Yes, and that
has a lot of I would think we're canceled people
in it.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
Oh, certainly. I mean, uh, what's his name?

Speaker 3 (47:21):
John Voight? John Voight, Shila above.

Speaker 2 (47:23):
Oh my god, I'm so annoyed.

Speaker 3 (47:26):
You saw this movie I saw.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
I saw the first hour and I knew it was
going to be horrible, and I wanted to keep watching.
But I got a little sleepy.

Speaker 3 (47:32):
Oh I just go to sleep. You you left because
you were getting sleepy. Yeah, I'll just sleep in it. Oh.
I'm actually during the movie today, I was thinking, one
day I'll write a memoir. It's going to be called
sleeping at the movie. It's so I would encourage everybody,
what is it, Get your AMC a list where you
don't pay for each movie. Go in the middle of
the day to see a film. It's so nicely air conditioned.

(47:55):
You do need. I think you have to bring like
a hoodie or an extra layer. Oh right, yeah, and
then just let yourself sleep through the fucking marvels or.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
Feeling when your eyes start to get heavy and you
can't fight it. I mean, there's nothing like that in
the world.

Speaker 3 (48:09):
I think what it is is like through all your
school years, you had to fight that. Oh interesting, And
like I was just an Edmr Fringe and I watched
a bunch of plays. When you're watching a play, especially
if your friend is in the play and the venue
only seats twenty people, when they can see you, you
gotta stay awake. But in a movie you get that
and you're like, no, I can I can just let

(48:30):
it go.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
I'm free, I can just sleep through this. Yeah, that feeling.
And recently I've been really treating myself to a little
nap very late at night in front of the TV.
Oh what time, you know, Like we'll get around, well,
it'll be eleven thirty midnight, and I'll be like, I
don't want.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
To be finishing as vocal cool down for the.

Speaker 2 (48:48):
Day, screaming, And I'll be sitting there and I know
it's time to go to bed, but I think, well,
maybe it feels so good to fall asleep here. So
I'll sleep in about twenty minutes.

Speaker 3 (48:58):
Okay, I'll tell you that you're gonna hear a lot
of my secrets. I can't have my husband listening to this.
He knows this, but he'll be embarrassed. I say this
out in public, which is that this is my if
I ever get to buy that sixty million dollar house,
you think about like what you would do? What would
be the weird rich guide thing you do? So mine would.
I'm genuine, but this will happen. I'm telling people now

(49:21):
so that like, if there's a Rolling Stone profile of
me in twenty years and they say, like, this is
what happens in the house, they'd be like, yeah, I
said that twenty years ago on several podcasts. I want
to be able to fall asleep on the couch watching television. Okay,
and I have like a live in assistant that is

(49:44):
the build of the mountain from Game of Thrones.

Speaker 2 (49:47):
Okay, fantastic.

Speaker 3 (49:49):
He will come pick me up and bring me to bed.
I think, in the grand schemer of things, that's not
that scandalous a thing. But do you think it's weird?
But you know how when you were a kid, you
would fall a sleep in the car ride home, Oh
the best?

Speaker 2 (50:06):
Then you were just to uber. I think that that
should be an option on Uber. Carry me asleep over
your shoulder to the front door or.

Speaker 3 (50:15):
All the way in all the way, you give them
a key code for your August lock or whatever. The
feeling of Like I see now when I see kids,
like at the mall or something and they're sleeping on
their parents' shoulder, I'm so envious of that child. I'm
not envious of the world they've been born into. Yeah,
the climate they.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Have to breathe to take a lot of napps.

Speaker 3 (50:37):
But so, yeah, that is I'm being dead serious about it.
I will definitely hire someone to do that. It will
not be sexual in any way unless they won't, you
know what I mean. Like, it's not a it's just
it will be someone that needs to have the physical
strength to do that.

Speaker 2 (50:52):
Right, right, And if they're incredibly good looking, that's just
another you know, that's their problem.

Speaker 3 (50:58):
Isn't it everyone's problem, own problem.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
The entire house problem. Yeah, No, I support that. I
think that that feeling of being asleep in the wrong
place and then being carried.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
Oh, I don't have any other like weird celebrity show business.
See things that I'm gonna want to do, like I'm
not gonna have like an Epstein Island or a you
know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (51:19):
Yet, Yeah, I mean, you get that money and you're
gonna freak out right.

Speaker 3 (51:22):
I also say I'm never gonna have a shark tank
with the Spanish villa half interior deckering style and then.

Speaker 2 (51:27):
With Jimmy Parkle confronting Tom Jones in front.

Speaker 3 (51:30):
Yes, I did do I did do a home concert.
I will brag intentionally brag about this. I did a
home show this year at Manny Patinkin's house.

Speaker 2 (51:39):
Oh, that's amazing, which was very fun.

Speaker 3 (51:41):
Oh, that's it was very cool to do a show.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
For him, and I bet he has a tasteful home.

Speaker 3 (51:45):
He does, Yeah, I mean he has a great house
in Upstate New York. And it was really really lovely.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
And were there other performers on the show.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
No, it was just me doing my show from Ed
Befrinch Last Amazing, which is which was filmed as a
special this year that'll drop out now, but like that,
doing the live version of that for him and people
from around the neighborhood in Upstate New York where he lives,
where my impversion was like, oh, it's kind of out
there a little bit, so maybe y'all don't have too much,

(52:13):
you know, like this is their way to see theater.
And I said to one of them after I was like, no,
we got a lot of stuff to do. I was like, okay,
I thought I was special out here. But yeah, it
was like in a little farmhouse that he has. I
mean it was. It was obviously had to be very
low tech, like there was no lights, like there was.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Just like a light switch in a flashlight.

Speaker 3 (52:32):
But yeah, it was wild, but I mean it was
very weird doing it.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
Did you stay at Mandy's house overnight?

Speaker 3 (52:38):
I did? Oh my god, that was really cool. And
also it was funny because my husband is in musical.
I'm in a musical theater. My husband's really in a
musical computer. I don't know how much trivia that Jimmy
could answer, but.

Speaker 2 (52:52):
Oh he could answer a lot, and I could answer almost.

Speaker 3 (52:55):
So I have not met anyone who knows more about
it than my husband, and so obviously this was mind
blowing that we were staying it.

Speaker 2 (53:04):
Oh yeah, of course.

Speaker 3 (53:04):
And then the first moment that we met him, he
came in to fix like a screen door, you know,
and he was just like complaining about the you know it,
will come help me with this thing, like you know
what I mean. It wasn't like a there was no
ceremony to it whatever. It was just like he needed
to fix this door and he was just like and
so that was nice to not be like that whole dance.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
Wow, I'm so jealous.

Speaker 3 (53:34):
That was exciting.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
Well, is there anything before we play the game anything
else we should say about I fly? What is the
scariest thing physically?

Speaker 3 (53:42):
You've done the scariest thing physically I've done. I mean,
I think a lot of people would be scared by
playing rugby, which I've played for many years. Oh, that
terrifies me, and it is scary. You do have to
get over it. And I have stopped playing because.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
That's that's a rugby scar my arm playing rugby.

Speaker 3 (54:01):
WHOA, So that doesn't make it less carried.

Speaker 2 (54:07):
Did the bone come out of your arm?

Speaker 3 (54:08):
It did not. But but this is an interesting fact.
I was holding the ball like this with my elbow
bent in front of me, and there's two bones in
your forearm here, and the other player his skull hit
the outer bone, but the outer bone didn't break. Oh,
so much force was transferred to my arm that the
inner bone broke. Whoa, I thought that was interesting.

Speaker 2 (54:30):
Wow, that's fascinating.

Speaker 3 (54:31):
Yeah. And also I broke it into Mecula, California, Okay,
and I don't know why, but I drove home by
myself with a broken arm, with a broken arm, and
then checked into like hunting in hospital and Pasadena to have.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
It like that's like a two hour drive.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
It was like ninety minutes. I think I was in chock.

Speaker 2 (54:50):
And did it? Were you in pain?

Speaker 3 (54:52):
I was in some it was it was like in
pain if I moved it, but I was able to drive.
I mean that must have been being in chock. But
the thing is the game was still going lean. They
were kind of like, oh, well, well we got to
take care of yourself. Yeah. I mean there's an element
to that. Other I don't know what other scary things
I've done? What what what are the things do we
categorize scary?

Speaker 2 (55:12):
I'm trying to think. I mean, like cliff diving, cliff diving,
rock climbing a lot of heights or where you're moving quickly.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
I haven't done a lot of climbing things because I
don't feel my wrists and arms are strong enough. Dude,
like I did a bungee, not a zip line at
a water.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
Park one okay, sure, but this.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
Was one where you hold on with your hands.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
Oh and you can just let go.

Speaker 3 (55:42):
Yeah, whoa. I lost my grip immediately, Like I went
out and like one meter away from where you step out,
I just dropped straight down because I couldn't, like for
like presidential fitness.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
I could never do a pull up presidential fitness. Yeah,
what a bizarre thing.

Speaker 3 (56:03):
The president really cared about.

Speaker 2 (56:05):
He wanted elementary schoolers to be ripped.

Speaker 3 (56:10):
I don't even know if they do that anymore.

Speaker 2 (56:12):
Yeah, I wonder.

Speaker 3 (56:13):
I think it does date you if you're like, because
it was like a mile and a half run, how
many sit ups could you do and how many pull
ups could you do?

Speaker 2 (56:21):
Right? And we were doing only a mile. I guess
they didn't care about us as much.

Speaker 3 (56:26):
He was like, I want more into the sprinter type
this year.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
This isn't a marathon anymore.

Speaker 3 (56:32):
I wonder which president stopped caring about that.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
I mean, if I had to guess some Clinton, maybe yeah. No,
Clinton was my era and he was going for it. Oh,
so I must.

Speaker 3 (56:46):
I don't know. You feel like you just petered out. Yeah,
because I feel like the bushes would care.

Speaker 2 (56:50):
Yeah, I feel like they've got the baseball bullshit going
on or whatever. Yeah, so maybe it's still going.

Speaker 3 (56:57):
Let's just hope a yearly source of anxiety for Chill.
And I think, yeah, Presidential fitness.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
Test that miles seemed like a million miles. It seemed
truly un undoable physically. Yeah, and now I'm like sure,
I mean it would be annoying, Well.

Speaker 3 (57:15):
We could have I think I don't know if we
thought back then that like, oh I could just kind
of walk it, right, I think now as adults you'd
be like, ought be annoying, but like I could walk
slash jog a mile if oh, very slowly, right, you know.
But I think but also there was some kind of
time pressure back then. It was like to pass the
test you had to.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
Do under two hours.

Speaker 3 (57:37):
Oh yeah, and I think it would have been like
under seven minutes or something that.

Speaker 2 (57:42):
Under seven can't possibly be true. Under probably ten. Oh
seven's a good mile. No, I mean, it's like it's
a decent.

Speaker 3 (57:49):
But the thing is you always had some kid in
your class that ran them mile in like five minutes.

Speaker 2 (57:53):
Well, that person's a psychopath.

Speaker 3 (57:57):
When we break I'm going to look up with the
historical mile standard for the presidential fitness testmentscause I don't
think it's ten.

Speaker 2 (58:04):
No, I feel like it was under ten. Was like
you want to shoot for under that? But five of
course you're an incredible runner. Yeah, this is this is
what's going to break us up.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
I just feel like ten it like a child should
have more stamina than that.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
But my legs were probably each three. Yes, it's very difficult. Okay,
well I think it's time. I cannot wait to do this.

Speaker 3 (58:27):
I yes, please let me know how.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
I really can't express you how excited I am about this.

Speaker 3 (58:31):
It's exciting. I think you have I think it's for
two jumps or whatever. Okay, so I think unless you
have some charm you can. I think you have to
do both of them.

Speaker 2 (58:41):
I don't think it's okay like another person or show
up another time.

Speaker 3 (58:45):
Who knows it's probably some minimum wage Oh yeah, kid.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
I remind myself of that every time I'm anywhere, Like
this person hates they don't.

Speaker 3 (58:52):
Like the rules. I mean, also, do they care enough
to make sure all the safety measures are in place?
Probably not? Goodbye? I mean, do you think Jimmy would
do that.

Speaker 2 (59:03):
No way, he won't ride Space Mountain really. Oh, going
to Disneyland with him not huge. But I enjoy roller
coasters and stuff, so if if it were just us
at Disneyland, it would be a nightmare. So we always
have to bring other people who.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
So that someone goes on them with you, yea, and
someone else talks with.

Speaker 2 (59:21):
Him, right, I think the most scary he'll go on
Indiana Jones, which is very jerky and scary.

Speaker 3 (59:28):
Enough jerky to steal all those antiques. Yeah, it's very
rude of leave them in their countries.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 3 (59:35):
No, that is actually it has a back and forth
nature that's tough on the back.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
Yeah, it feels unhealthy. But I love any roller coaster mostly. Oh,
I don't like them as long as they don't like
I get dizzy, Like.

Speaker 3 (59:50):
I don't I will. I don't think I'll ever go
in that Guardian to the Galaxy, Oh, I mean or whatever.

Speaker 2 (59:57):
They they ruined. They ruined the.

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
Vibe with the Guardians.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
Yes, it was a perfect ride. Yeah, it was actually spooky,
and now it's like this weird thing where you listen
to Van Halen. I mean it's still a fun sensation.
But before it felt like you were among ghosts. It
was very fun. Marvel Universe has ruined it my entire life.

(01:00:22):
What am I talking about? Let's play a game. I
need a number between one and ten from you.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
Eight.

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
Okay, I have to do some light calculating. So right
now you can promote, you can recommend, do whatever you want.

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
Well, my special Chris Grace Ascot Johansson is now available
on dropout dot tv, that is its own streaming service.
You can sign up for the three day free trial
and watch the special. But I think I'll actually find
a lot of fun stuff on dropout to watch. And
then my new show, it's called Sardines. I think I'm
doing it at the Illsion here in Los Angeles. Have

(01:00:55):
not settled the dates yet, but it will be in November,
I believe, and then next year I'll be in Wisconsin
in January, Portland Center Stage in May and June, and
this is all doing Scarlett Rohnson, and then in July
of twenty twenty five, I'll be at the Kennedy Center. Oh,
Chris Grace is Scarlet Jronhansson.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
That's amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:01:14):
Yeah, it'll be really fun, so exciting. I'm very excited.
It feels very That's the one when I tell like
people in my family, I'm like, well, I'm doing the
Kennedy Center, and they're like, oh, you must actually be
good at this. Right finally proof, Well, like I just
shot over the in the spring, I was in a
Shonda Rhymes Netflix show. And the fact that now if
I say Shonda Rymes are like ooh, I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
It's getting harder and harder in the television business to
be impressive to anyone because no one's heard of any show.
So these few remaining things that everyone's heard of, Yes,
that's the goal.

Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
My family isn't like, ooh do plus brothers? Yes, I am,
I am. You know I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
But right right, my parents have been I mean, they're
bored before plus.

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
We're gonna play non plus, We're.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
Gonna play a game called Gift or a Curse. Okay,
I'm going to name three things. You're gonna tell me
if there are a gift or a curse and why,
and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong
because there are correct answers and you can lose the game.

Speaker 3 (01:02:11):
Oh okay, and each individually is a gift or a curse?

Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:02:16):
Number one this is from a listener named Andrew. Andrew
suggested gift or a curse, pre installed tombstones that have
your birth year but an empty death year.

Speaker 3 (01:02:27):
I mean, I think this is like literally a curse,
Like this is literally asking for it, you know, I mean,
this is this is I don't think there could be
a stronger invitation to death then going like establishing your tombstone.
And so I think it's actually like genuinely a curse

(01:02:49):
and also presumptuous of you to decide the design of
your tombstone. That is clearly something left to others. Controlling behavior,
very controlling. Well, you're wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:03:01):
This is a gift in every possible way. I love
these things. First of all, I'm trying to get into
the mind of the person that's doing it. They're saying
with their family, you don't get to be involved with this.
I get to choose the tomb soon. And it's probably
a little spooky experience where you're like, I'm looking at
this thing that's gonna be above my body. Yes, then
they install it in the graveyard or I think we

(01:03:22):
should only call cemetery's graveyards. Let's get rid of the
word cemetery. Graveyards are Morphis.

Speaker 3 (01:03:26):
There's not a distinction.

Speaker 2 (01:03:28):
No, I think it's Oh, I wonder, is I wonder
if there's like a fine line between the two cemetery
does seem.

Speaker 3 (01:03:34):
Fewed between the American Graveyard Association and the National Cemetery Families.
Mister graveyard, it's like Adidas and Puma.

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
Yeah, exactly. No, they're installing it in the graveyard, and
now anyone that passes by is getting this weird feeling
of like, oh, what is the future hold for me?
A nice reminder of mortality and the mystery of mortality.

Speaker 3 (01:03:58):
Don't they get that from the other two, know.

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
Because everybody else are like, well, those are just skeletons.
But this thing, there's the fog of the future in
this person's life, Okay. And I love that feeling.

Speaker 3 (01:04:07):
I love that that is the one that tips them
over into thinking about mortality as they walk through a graveyard.
I think I would only be on board with doing
this if you get the ones that have like video
clips installed. It has to be your whatever IMDb thinks
you're real is, so it has to be on there

(01:04:31):
because then you can still you can still book absolutely
booked before the last you know, think of it this way.
Bridger and I made this up. I came up with this.
You're living in the dash. You can still book when
you're in the dash.

Speaker 2 (01:04:44):
That's what casting directors say. Yeah, you still have the dash, right.

Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
That song is about that you can still get.

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
Cast, and casting directors are constantly pouring over graveyards to
make sure who's alive and who's dead.

Speaker 3 (01:04:56):
Also, casters are constantly thinking about how actors can get
more cast, like they that we are the first people
on their minds.

Speaker 2 (01:05:06):
Okay, well you got one wrong. Okay, that's got a sting,
but we'll move on here. Number two. This is from
someone named brendan gift or a curse sleeping with socks on.

Speaker 3 (01:05:20):
I mean, this is not for me. I don't like it,
so I think I'll have I don't like. I almost
want to say that the option is potentially a gift,
but I would never do it. So I guess I'm
pro choice. This is the only thing I'm pro choice about.

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
You've been very clear about it.

Speaker 3 (01:05:37):
Yes, that's my special is like a total like a
pro life special. I'm gonna say that. I Oh god,
I don't know. I just I'm gonna say it's a
curse because I don't like it, like I actually don't
like it annoys me. So the only time it's a
gift if it is of like you your heat broke

(01:06:01):
and then you are living old style with like a
nightgown and like one of those long sleeping caps. Then
you gotta have the socks for me personally, there's a curse.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
Another one wrong, horrifying you, and you really were getting
close to saying it was a gift, and then you
describe this beautiful sleeping outfit that should have really sent
you in the right direction. The cap, the nightgown, Yeah,
that's my nightly uniform.

Speaker 3 (01:06:28):
And when you have a little feather that goes up
in the air.

Speaker 2 (01:06:31):
This is no I love. Look. It depends on the
time of the year, but yes, during the winter, even
I've got the heat on, I want the socks on
my feet.

Speaker 3 (01:06:44):
So coy, thinner lad than I bet we have the
same shape feet. I'm gonna bet that in Vegas when
I'm there, odds are. I do love not to be
too La centric, but I love in La when it
starts getting cold at night and you get to put

(01:07:04):
on your little sweater. Oh so nice. So I guess
socks are like sweaters for your feet. I mean, of
course I did recently, like two days ago, this podcast
just gonna revealed that I have a shopping problem, I
which I do. I bought a not a snuggie, but

(01:07:24):
like an oversize Waterburger branded.

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
What I've never heard of this?

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
What? No, have you been to Texas? No?

Speaker 2 (01:07:33):
Or no, I've been to Austin, then there, what about?

Speaker 3 (01:07:36):
I grew up in Houston, so Waterburger is like a
famous burger chain there. I had a lot of fun merch.
Gotta say, beloved burger chain. You know, similar feelings to
the way that we feel about in and out.

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
Okay, okay, I never heard of this. A lot of Hamburgers.
I'm in the scene.

Speaker 3 (01:07:57):
Yet. Anyway, I bought a snuggie type thing that is
extremely warm, and it's the only size that comes in
is five X. So it's meant for like, you know,
the oversized thing. You you get in on the couch
and you know, and you watch It's a wonderful life
or whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
I mean, this is right up my alley.

Speaker 3 (01:08:16):
Yeah, yeah, so it's so I understand why you're the
socks is a gift.

Speaker 2 (01:08:20):
Okay, yeah, okay, so you've gotten zero points so far
and that sucks for everybody. Ah, this is your final chance.
This is from a listener named Beth, and Beth suggested
gift to a curse peeling a potato with a knife
instead of a peeler.

Speaker 3 (01:08:35):
I'm sorry, but this is absolutely a curse that is insane.
What do you on PK duty in the army? Like,
what are you?

Speaker 4 (01:08:42):
Like?

Speaker 3 (01:08:43):
You've been You're in the corner and over a ten
bucket because you pissed off the sergeant somehow, and you're
in like a Beetle Bailey cartoon Like, uh no, potato
peeler for sure, because first of all, you're always taught
as a kid to cut away from you. Sure right, yes,
every time on TV when people peel things with a knife,

(01:09:05):
like an apple or potato, they're always cutting it towards themselves.
They're always doing this rotake. Just it does sounds fay.

Speaker 2 (01:09:12):
I mean when you watch, it's like that looks satisfying.

Speaker 3 (01:09:14):
Yeah, the is no way. I mean, first of all,
eat the skin. It's got lots of vitamins. Sure. Also,
we invented potato vegetable potato pillars for a reason. Don't
deny the validity of that person's contribution to the world.
I can argue against it from the Alton Brown school
of you should never have devices that only do one

(01:09:37):
thing in your kitchen. But whatever, Alton Brown's time is over,
do you get canceled?

Speaker 2 (01:09:42):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:09:43):
I just haven't heard from Alton Brown in what five years?

Speaker 2 (01:09:45):
So, like, right, I haven't either, Alton reach out?

Speaker 3 (01:09:49):
Yeah, come on, Alton?

Speaker 2 (01:09:50):
Ah? Well, I mean what I mean? What is there
to say at this point, Chris, You've lost the game completely.
It's a gift, Oh my god, because it's cool as hell.
What could easily be cooler than peeling a potato with
a knife. You do that off the back of a motorcycle.
You've got a cigarette in your mouth. There's there's nothing cooler.

Speaker 3 (01:10:11):
I don't buy this answer coming from Bridger Wineger.

Speaker 2 (01:10:15):
What are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (01:10:16):
The Sultan of Cool? The movie Easy Rider was based
on Bridger Winderger's young life just riding two motorcycles across
the American heartland.

Speaker 2 (01:10:26):
I'm in a leather vest right.

Speaker 3 (01:10:28):
Now, potatoes throwing them into a pot for a midnight campfire.

Speaker 2 (01:10:33):
Stew, I don't know what your problem is with cowboys,
bikers and badasses.

Speaker 3 (01:10:38):
But that's your lifestyle.

Speaker 2 (01:10:42):
But you lost the game in the most horrifying way.

Speaker 3 (01:10:45):
Wow, how many people have gone zero for three?

Speaker 2 (01:10:46):
It's very a very small group. I mean, I think
smaller than even I think there are more winners of
all three for three. Yeah, so you're in a very
elite group. Well there you go, although you're making it
less elite by joining it. Yes, it's like getting bigger
and that's a shame.

Speaker 3 (01:11:04):
That's what my mom said.

Speaker 2 (01:11:07):
Your mother, I hope she's listening.

Speaker 3 (01:11:10):
From the grave. I mean her, she's got both dates
on her grave stones. Put it that way.

Speaker 2 (01:11:18):
I'm so soon. Okay, moving on. This is the final
segment of the podcast. It's called I Said No Emails.
People are writing into I Said No Gifts at gmail
dot com to beg for answers to all sorts of
life problems.

Speaker 3 (01:11:32):
I see advice, advice.

Speaker 2 (01:11:34):
Yeah, all sorts of advice. Sometimes it's about gifts. But
I encourage them to just bring their problems to me. Wow,
because I know what's best. Okay, and my guest always
knows what's best.

Speaker 3 (01:11:43):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:11:44):
So we helpe me answer a question. Sure, Okay, this
is dear bridger and presumably delightful guest presumed correctly. My
cousin is getting married soon, and she's being very traditional
about the whole thing. People are always writing in and
just immediately throwing family members under the boss on this
podcast RSVP.

Speaker 3 (01:12:00):
Because there's a little shade in there.

Speaker 2 (01:12:02):
Yeah, oh my god, there's a lot traditionally. Exactly when
I RSVP to her wedding for my fiance and I
I bought a set of bowls from her, quickly selling
out gift registry as someone does Taylor Swift concert, she
invited me to her bridle shower, an event I have
never known anyone else my age to actually have. Oh

(01:12:22):
my god, she's really going after this person. And I
of course didn't go because I'm not going to travel
three hours to New Jersey for that. My mother, however,
did attend the bridle shower.

Speaker 3 (01:12:32):
Wait, wait, is this is her sister?

Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
This is her cousin cousin?

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
Okay, still three hours is not that long a drive.

Speaker 2 (01:12:40):
You drove two with a broken arm, that's right. My mother, however,
did attend the bridle shower. She brought a shower gift
silverware on behalf of the whole immediate family. Okay, it
seems like a small thing for the whole immediate family.
But that's another story set. Yeah, it's where we buy
it from.

Speaker 3 (01:12:58):
I recently was research genuine sterling silver. Oh for the home.

Speaker 2 (01:13:03):
You do have a major shot. I'm concerned.

Speaker 3 (01:13:07):
I didn't buy anything. It's so expensive.

Speaker 2 (01:13:09):
How much is it?

Speaker 3 (01:13:10):
I mean, I forget his name. He's an Indian actor
that was in Mean Girls, the movie. He has a
YouTube channel about living well and he suggests buying a
single piece at a time. Oh, and having just kind
of a mismatched said, I'd find it charming, and that's
probably the only way I could get into this hobby.

Speaker 2 (01:13:28):
That would drive me crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:13:29):
But one fork is like seventy five dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:13:32):
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, that would I'd lose
my mind.

Speaker 3 (01:13:34):
Anyway. If the mother brought a whole set of silver, I.

Speaker 2 (01:13:36):
Mean that is could be thousands of dollars.

Speaker 3 (01:13:38):
So that was on behalf of the entire mother and
her whole unit. Yes, okay, got it.

Speaker 2 (01:13:44):
At the bridle shower, there was an enormous pile of
gifts that my aunt, the bride's mother had wrapped herself
on behalf of other people, excuse me right? Included in
this pile were the bulls I had purchased for her
as a wedding gift, with absolutely no indication they were
for the shower. There were all also several other gifts
from the registry from other family members of mine who
were not in attendance. Clearly my aunt brought any gift

(01:14:07):
sent from the registry by people who were invited to
the shower. You should know that my aunt is a
very volatile person with anger problems. What does that have
to do with any of this? Am I correct that
this is completely insane? Do I need to buy another
wedding gift? Do I need to write that I hope
she likes her wedding gift of bulls in a card?

(01:14:28):
Do I run away forever and never speak to these
people again? What do I say to them? Please help?
And they didn't even sign their name as an anonymous
person because they're just attacking the entire family here.

Speaker 3 (01:14:38):
And I'm so curious why the aunt got the presence
to begin with. Maybe they live near the or live
with the interesting so, because let's say they're on Amazon
doing a registry right, and you're just saying, like, give
me these bulls chip them off to the couple, right right? Also,
do you when you I mean we registered an ami?

(01:15:00):
I can't remember. Were we getting the are you married? No?
When is it going to happen?

Speaker 2 (01:15:06):
I mean if I can get some silverware out of it?

Speaker 3 (01:15:08):
I can't remember if you start getting the gifts as
soon as people buy them, or if they're sort of
held to a certain I think you get them as
they the purchased. Okay, So I think in the this
is my guess. I could be wrong. I think in
the weeks and months leading up you start. I mean
obviously do, because this ant had it before the wedding. Right,
So how did the ant get hold of all these gifts?
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:15:28):
Maybe she has a really big porch, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:15:31):
Or a pork pirate? She said the aunt was volatile.
Pirates are volatile. Well, I think you would be okay
not getting another gift.

Speaker 2 (01:15:42):
She clearly doesn't have a very good relationship with this person.
She's writing emails about her to podcasts. Yeah, she doesn't care.

Speaker 1 (01:15:50):
You.

Speaker 3 (01:15:50):
Also, have you heard the thing that you have a
year to give someone present after the wedding?

Speaker 2 (01:15:54):
No? I shouldn't have heard that, because now.

Speaker 3 (01:15:56):
That's going to that is. The thing that gets said
is that you actually don't have to get a present
in by the wedding date.

Speaker 2 (01:16:02):
You can just let it haunt you for a year.

Speaker 3 (01:16:04):
For a year, you could, like the registry will still
be open, interesting, you can you can get in laid
on it, so she could kind of ride it out
and see if there's any reaction and then maybe throwing
another little custer, you know, because every registry has got
some real cheap items.

Speaker 2 (01:16:19):
Oh look, I'm doing sort of lowest to highest. I
don't care who you are, right.

Speaker 3 (01:16:27):
I always think that's funny when the when the thing
that you bought was like one of eight steak knives,
and then now they just have.

Speaker 2 (01:16:36):
One to peel potato.

Speaker 3 (01:16:38):
That's right. It looks so cool. If you're listening only
on audio, I can't describe how cool bred it looks.

Speaker 2 (01:16:46):
I have four cigarettes in my mouth right now.

Speaker 3 (01:16:48):
It's so intimidating.

Speaker 2 (01:16:51):
I'm kind of the original cool guy. Uh No, I
think I agree, And I almost think, why bother with
this cousin? Get rid of them.

Speaker 3 (01:17:00):
That's such an escalation.

Speaker 2 (01:17:02):
Well, this person asked for it, But do you think
they still do the same.

Speaker 3 (01:17:05):
They're still going to the Oh no, there are little
trepidations about going to the wedding.

Speaker 2 (01:17:08):
Yeah, do I need to?

Speaker 3 (01:17:10):
No, that's fine. You know why because there's even people
that come to the wedding and bring they still physically
bring the gift. That day, there'll be a table, and
so the bride will have no idea that you will
have no way to even think that you've shirked your
responsibility until three hundred and sixty six days later. Right,

(01:17:30):
So at that point you're probably not even talking to
his cousin anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:17:34):
No, it's over.

Speaker 3 (01:17:35):
I wouldn't wory about it.

Speaker 2 (01:17:36):
Just go and enjoy the And also, you're setting yourself
up to be to have the real high ground when
the cousin confronts you and you say, actually, I did
send you a wedding gift. This is your angry mom's fault.

Speaker 3 (01:17:47):
Yeah, I mean that's I think you want to avoid
that completely, especially since they said that she was molotile.

Speaker 2 (01:17:54):
Well, I mean, it depends on the day you want
to be dealing with a screaming ant.

Speaker 4 (01:17:59):
Man.

Speaker 3 (01:17:59):
If you and Jimmy ever get married, the podcast audience
is gonna hop on that registry because it's so on
brand for the podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:18:09):
Now you're really selling me on the idea of marriage.

Speaker 3 (01:18:11):
Yeah, I mean this is the reason, right, there's two
reasons why. Well, one is now it just fits the
theme so perfectly because you'll say I said there. It'll
be like there'd be a special sub series called I
said there's no registry, and then you'll surreptitiously say the
Amazon link at the end of every episode, and your fans,
I think, will instantly go and buy.

Speaker 2 (01:18:33):
All those Okay, I'm considering marriage.

Speaker 3 (01:18:36):
These are the two big reasons. That's one and the
other one this is genuine. The other reason to get
married is it's so weird. I'm sure people tell you
this all the time, but like it is very weird
that you make this public decoration of the relationship and
then the next time you have a big fight, it'll
be like, oh, we just like went through that whole thing,

(01:18:57):
and there is like social pressure to be like we
made a commitment, Like now we just we made a
commitment to those hundred people too.

Speaker 2 (01:19:04):
Right, they're counting on us to be their favorite characters.

Speaker 3 (01:19:07):
Yeah, and it's an interesting like village Uh peer pressure.
Oh that does does appeal to you.

Speaker 2 (01:19:14):
No, the smallest fight, I say I'll leave, I'll walk
out the door. This thing means nothing to me.

Speaker 3 (01:19:21):
I'm sure you don't have dramatic fights at all. Oh,
we have dramatic I think anybody. Eric and I are
both have a background coming from the theater. So our
fights are are theatrical.

Speaker 2 (01:19:35):
Albums are theatrical because Jim is a theatrical person and
I'm someone who buries their feelings until the absolute worst
moment and then they all come out. So it's a
it's a combination. Yes, but we're all safe, that's right,
and you know we're doing fine. But did we answer
the question?

Speaker 3 (01:19:54):
I think lay low, Okay, let it, let it ride,
and just go and have a good time at the wedding.
And I think you'll be fine. That's my I guess.
I think maybe look into your unresolved issues where you
judge everyone. I know some very strong opinions about people
in your family.

Speaker 2 (01:20:13):
Well, take a ride to New Jersey.

Speaker 3 (01:20:16):
Well that I actually do think if you're I don't
think bridle shower is like mid tier obligation. But three
hours is also not that long. No, it's a little trip,
like three hours. If she's in New Jersey, three hours
from like three hours from where they are in New Jersey.
You could also still be New Jersey.

Speaker 2 (01:20:35):
That's true, you know, Yeah, where is this person coming
from that it's three hours to New Jersey.

Speaker 3 (01:20:38):
I mean they could be coming from the from Greenwich
Village and it's two hours to get to the Hollandic
you know. So, I mean, you know what, I think,
get some clarity for yourself on how you really feel
about these people. Because if you don't want to drive
three hours to go to the bridle shower, like maybe
this whole maybe just go to this wedding and then

(01:21:00):
just cut him.

Speaker 2 (01:21:01):
Off, cut him off for good. I support that. I mean,
this podcast is about yes, change your number, change your name. Wow,
we answered it perfectly perfect, Chris. I mean, You've given
me such a thoughtful, beautiful gift. I'm thrilled. I mean,
this is such a rare moment on this podcast.

Speaker 3 (01:21:21):
I'm so excited to hear how this goes. Oh my god,
maybe they have a thing where they like shoot a
video of it. Oh and that could be some bonus content.

Speaker 2 (01:21:27):
I can at least drag thee there to film me. Yeah,
some boord.

Speaker 3 (01:21:30):
French Because you said, Jim wouldn't do it.

Speaker 2 (01:21:33):
Well, he's in New York.

Speaker 3 (01:21:35):
Yes, yes, Oh you mean you're doing this like soon?

Speaker 2 (01:21:37):
Yeah, of course. This is what happened the next year, stood.

Speaker 3 (01:21:41):
The open until nine tonight. Just head over there. That's
admirable because a lot of times I get a gift
voucher like this and it just sits.

Speaker 2 (01:21:49):
Oh yeah, of course, not this one. This is the
thrill of a lifetime.

Speaker 3 (01:21:52):
Excellent.

Speaker 2 (01:21:53):
Well, thank you for being here. I've had such a
great time. It's been such a blast listener. The podcast
is over. Hopefully you've learned something or taken something away
to make your life more meaningful. The show is over.
Get going, I love you, goodbye. I said No Gifts

(01:22:15):
is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear
friend Analise Nelson, and it's beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday.
And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Kottner.
The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle
worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram
at I said no Gifts, I don't want to hear

(01:22:36):
any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of
all these gorgeous gifts. I'm getting. And don't you want
to see pictures of the gifts I invit?

Speaker 3 (01:22:45):
Did you hear?

Speaker 1 (01:22:48):
Thun? A man myself perfectly clear? But you're I guessed Tom.
You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no, guest,
your presence is presents enough. I already had too much stuff,

(01:23:10):
So how do you dare to surbey me?