Lauren Lapkus, Taran Killam, and Vinny Thomas Ruin What Could Have Been a Very Pleasant Evening (Live in Los Angeles)

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Attention.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Due to unforeseen circumstances, Jimmy Smagoula will not be able
to perform this evening. However, despite this massive inconvenience, the
host was able to act quickly and find a replacement
with a voice just as, if not more beautiful and
now the theme.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Song to me.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
When I invited you here, I thought I made myself
perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you
have to come to me empty handed. I said, no gifts.
Your presence is presence enough. And I already have too
much stuff. I have so many things. I just organized

(00:56):
my garage and it's overflowing. It's disgusting. My life is
falling apart. So how dare you disobey me?

Speaker 4 (01:06):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:06):
My god, it's on only smellson. Oh we should well,
let's go on over one more time. When I invited
you here, I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When
you are a guess in my home, you have to
come to me with nothing. Please bring nothing. It's very clear.

(01:31):
I said no gifts. Your presence is presence enough. Oh oh,
I said no gifts. I said no gifts. So how
dare you? How dare any of you disobey me.

Speaker 5 (01:57):
Oh oh my god, look at this.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Look at the talent on display. I said, no gifts.
An A, Lisa Nelson, James Gerard, God.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
Bless WHOA.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineger. How
did we get here? How did we get to what
we've just experienced? Well? Ten years ago I met a
man on Tinder. Fast forward two weeks ago. We've been
on a few dates and he gets an audition and

(02:47):
he says, should I do this? And I looked at it.
I said, the creative team is good, you should audition.
A week later, he books the job. The night he's
supposed to sing the theme song of the podcast in Chatsworth.
The Man's in Chatsworth. It's an adult swim project, so
it is a good credit. But unfortunately Jim wasn't able

(03:09):
to make it. Here. Could we just see the slide rip?
I'm so worried about gen Z. You know this is
the We're losing them. But we're here and now I'm
just like, I'm so baffled. I did not expect to
have to do the theme song. I'm carrying so much weight.

(03:32):
How is Los Angeles doing? I think we can take
Jim and Reeva off. Well, we'll talk about this. Actually,
actually we should get to this. Let's go to the
next slide because we've got to get to something so
I can take off this robe so I don't start
sweating like I usually do. So you know these. Over

(03:56):
the course of the last few live shows, I've worn
this beautiful thing, this key so light tunic, and I
died it and died it and died it, and eventually
it was unusable. And I wanted to wear something from
the podcast, but unfortunately, the guests usually bring me garbage,
and the clothes they bring me or garbage, so I
didn't really have a lot of options. And a couple

(04:18):
of months ago, Josh Sharp showed up and he brought
me these three I think the brand is Vory or something,
I don't know, some sort of ath leisure. And so
we have these three T shirts and could we see
me in one? Look how dumpy I look shapeless. It's
too long, it doesn't I mean even the neck is

(04:39):
too loose. It looks horrible. So I had to think
of something, and I contacted all the people with sewing
machines in my life, and I found my friend Danny,
and I said, can you can you do something for me?
And as someone with a skill, this is always so
amazing to me when someone has a skill and they're
able to accomplish something. She had me the T shirts

(05:00):
over and I guess I should reveal the look the
look for this evening. Okay, here we go. Be careful,
it's all. You've got to be careful when you're looking
at me. Look at this. Let's go back to those

(05:21):
T shirts, those horrible T shirts. This is couture, this
is fashion. I look like I spent the night at
Kevin Smith's or something. It's not an ideal look, but
you have to do what you can with what you're given.
That's kind of what life is. And now I need
to look at my business just to make sure we're

(05:41):
covering everything. We're doing the outfit. Okay, now I can
just talk about my life. Thank God. Very busy day.
I was on Instagram for fourteen hours and went to
the grocery store. My brother's in town. He's somewhere here
in the audience. We hope he made it. We hope
Jesse made it to the show. He got in last night,
and so far I've shown him the city by making

(06:04):
him watch the third episode of the documentary about Biggest
Loser and taking him to the same restaurant twice. So
it's been an explosive time for him. And so there's that.
Unfortunately I just found out, well I didn't find out.
This is a tough time for me because my nephew
didn't follow me back on Instagram and he watched my stories,

(06:30):
So I know, I know, but whatever, you know what
about this? Wouldn't you want to follow on Instagram? So
there's that. Somebody wanted somebody I guess it's their birthday.
Let's see here. This is not the birthday podcast, but
their sister wanted me to wish my happy birthday from

(06:52):
your sister. She's in Texas live streaming of this and
she sent him here. That was lazy on her part. Okay,
I think we got all of our business done. Okay,
so now this is I need. Okay, I'm gonna we
have two different volunteer opportunities tonight. The first one is
actual labor. It's going to require strong people who are
going to do something. So if you if you don't

(07:13):
feel strong, tell me, well, not physically but mentally and emotionally.
So I'm gonna come out and try to find two
people that. Oh, and I'm gonna bring my baked cookies.
Let's see. Don't look at me, okay, so just let
me know if you're not interested in working and uh

(07:33):
doing labor. Okay, let's see, you can just have a cookie.
Let's see here. Now I'm gonna go to the other so, well,
let's see here. Would you want to do any physical well,
it's not physical labor. Why do I keep? What's that? Okay? Okay,
don't do it. Let's see. No, no, no, no. Would

(07:54):
you want to do something? Okay? What's your name? Toria? Okay,
head up onto the stage. I'm not respond before you. Ah,
here's a cookie, and we need one more person that's
gonna be her teammate. Let's see here, we're looking, we're looking.
Would you like to.

Speaker 6 (08:15):
Sure?

Speaker 1 (08:16):
What's your name?

Speaker 7 (08:19):
Mike?

Speaker 1 (08:19):
Okay, Mike, get on stage and are you with him? Okay,
you can have the cookie. Okay. So a couple of
years ago, my friend Chris there was on the podcast
and he gave me a thousand piece puzzle of Republican
President's playing pool, and I had, as an adult, had

(08:41):
never done a large puzzle. So but I he kind
of bullied me into it with a hashtag puzzle please,
and everyone was harassing me online about doing the puzzle.
So I started it and it took me fifteen weeks
to complete the puzzle. So I thought, why not tonight.
People are always saying, oh, I listened to a podcasts
while I do. I thought, what a fun opportunity to

(09:02):
do that live. So these two we've got follow me.
We have this little table set up back here. Take
a seat, and they get cookies and water too. They're
not going to I just want to show everyone the
puzzle if we can. It's all of the Republican president

(09:24):
and presidents except for the worst one. He didn't make
it in. But this is what they'll be doing. It's
a thousand pieces. I don't I obviously don't know how
long it actually takes to make a puzzle because it
took me fifteen weeks. This could maybe it takes an
hour and a half. I don't know. Uh So this
is for you two. Now you two can get to work.

(09:45):
I would love for you to finish the puzzle. I'd
love for you to get the border. Whatever it takes,
I would love for you to get Richard Nixon's face.
So you've set to work, and we'll check in with
you throughout the show. And you're are you okay? Are
you okay with this labor perfect? I said, okay, we'll
check back in with them. Okay, good for them. Two

(10:07):
strong people, strong as oxes. Okay. So now, okay, now
I need three more volunteers. This is an easier one.
This doesn't require as much time or effort. So let's
and I've given away all the cookies. What a shame.
Let's see here, people are looking away. Would you want
to no? I love what someone says no, by the way,

(10:28):
I would, I would say yes, and I'm a no.
You want to Lauren? Lauren? Get up there? Okay, let's
see here. Let's see. I'd love to get somebody in
the middle where I can't access Sir with the glasses?
Would you want to do it? Okay, come on up, okay,

(10:48):
and we need one more. I'll go over here after
we find out. Sir with the glasses name Vincent. Okay,
head up, Vincent. Okay. Now I'm just gonna scurry over here. People, Okay,
let's here, moving, moving, moving people. Let's see people when
they're looking at me. It's uh, you would you like

(11:09):
to her friend is really throwing her under the bus? Sam, Sam,
come on, okay, all right, you can all take a seat. Okay.
I should have brought a blanket to put over my legs,
but I do. I mean, I've worn less on camera.
I have a very dark past. So okay, we're gonna

(11:31):
sit here. We're gonna play Gift or a Curse. And
I don't know if you're familiar with the game, but
I'm going to name some things. You'll tell me if
they're a gift or a curse and why. Then I'll
tell you if you're right or wrong. Oh and by
the way, Puzzle King and Queen, you are gonna win
a prize if you get to the end, So put
in the work and you you all are gonna win
a prize as well if you played the game correctly. Okay,

(11:54):
So do you have a mic? Let's see here. Okay,
everybody's got technology. Okay, so you're I'm going to give
you two things. You'll tell me and we'll see how
you do, and then we'll head down. I'm not gonna
leave you two out. Okay, So let's get into the
dock here. These were all sourced during my fourteen hours
on Instagram today. Thank you to the people who've sent
them in. Okay, first of all, gift your a curse?

(12:16):
Cold showers Hmmm okay, I'm gonna say gift.

Speaker 8 (12:25):
Why because it shocks you? Okay, so it's like a
little excitement in your day you wouldn't have otherwise.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
Right, Yeah, correct, Yes, it's a gift. I mean, maybe
not on a chilly night like tonight, but I love
a cold shower. We all know, we don't all have
the plunge or whatever the hell, but you get in
the shower and get that blast to the face. I'm
sure it does the same thing. Yeah, so it's a gift.
You've gotten one, right so far. Number two, gift or

(12:55):
a curse? When a waiter says enjoy your meal and
you say you too.

Speaker 8 (13:02):
I do this one far too often. I would say
it's a curse. Why Because you don't mean to say it,
and you're always a little bit embarrassed and you wonder
what the waiter thinks about you.

Speaker 9 (13:17):
It's just awkward.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
Wrong, It's a gift, I and it's for this reason.
I think the waiter needs to see you in a
weak moment. They need to find out that you're imperfect. Yeah,
and then the relationship is a little bit more fluid loose.
You're gonna have more fun over your vulnerable at that. Yes,
so you've got You've got one, right, Okay, how do

(13:38):
you feel?

Speaker 9 (13:39):
I feel?

Speaker 1 (13:41):
Okay? Okay, well that's a good attitude. You win a prize. Okay,
let's see what you won. I'll open it for you. Okay,
let's see here. So this is Okay, you do get
a cookie, so that will be in the bottom of
the back. And everybody voted on these on Patreon the
things that I should give away. So this is a
a fragrance from Rachel Dratch that is half used. She

(14:04):
bought it half used. It's called Redhead and Bed and
it personally, I don't like the smell, but you might
be into it. And you also get a little sticker
from the podcast. This is new merch Actually this is
actually basically a product launch. This is this is I

(14:25):
may be available online now, I'm not sure, but this
is for you. So you take that and then let's
head on to the next contestant. Remind me your name, Vincent. Okay, Vincent,
are you ready, Okay, we'll see number one. Gift her
a curse hard boiled eggs on a salad.

Speaker 10 (14:46):
Curse?

Speaker 11 (14:47):
Why because I feel like when you have harbolled eggs,
your breast smells. Then you have to interact with people,
and that's kind of weird. Also, I'm a deviled egg guy,
you know, I like a little I like it, but
a little bit of seasoning, a little bit of something
extra to the deviled egg.

Speaker 1 (15:03):
Right. Wrong. First of all, you lost me a deviled egg. No, no, no,
Second of all, you definitely want We've seen the protein craze.
It's we've all need the protein, but we also need
our fiber. So this is a great combination of the two.
And I love a boiled egg. To the fact that
the other night my cobb salad didn't come with one

(15:24):
and I had to request can I get my egg?
Which was unpleasant, But it's worth it. So you got
one wrong. Okay, So next gift or a curse? That
tiny pocket inside of front pocket of your jeans.

Speaker 11 (15:38):
Oh that's a gift for sure. Why all the time
I'll just jam something in my pocket forget about it,
and then a few weeks later I find it again
and it's like a mini Christmas sermony, birthday, and it's
so nice to just have a little surprise in your
pants every once in a while.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
Correct, that's a gift. That little pocket was someone's dream.
They followed their dream and got it into almost all pants,
So I think that's great. That's a gift. And so
you got one out of two, which again is a failure,
but you still get to win a prize. So let's
find out what you're going to get. Now. This is okay.

Speaker 7 (16:15):
So this is.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
The Oreo Ultimate Dunking Set from David desk Mulchin.

Speaker 7 (16:21):
I get a real gift.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
This was bought at Goodwill and is definitely expired. I
think there are Oreos in here, so throw those away.
But the rest of this you get the tongs, the napkins,
the cookie cages. Does anyone here own a cookie cage?

Speaker 4 (16:38):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (16:38):
You might be the only person in Los Angeles with
the cookie cage. Okay, and then you get a cookie
and a sticker. Wow, I'm giving it all away tonight. Okay,
take that, thank you, all right, and then take the bag.
Let's see, let's hear it. For our first two contestants,
they failed, but they tried all right, and remind me
of your name again, Sam, Sam, Are you ready? Okay,

(17:00):
here we go. First of all, gift you a curse
hotel hot tubs.

Speaker 9 (17:08):
You know, I do think that they're a gift.

Speaker 12 (17:11):
Not many of us are finding personal access to a
hot tub, so sometimes a shared hot tub is the
best that we're going to get. And you know the
bubbling liquids.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
Correct, it's a gift. Where else am I going to
meet divorce men? Okay, moving on, here's our final one,
and you might have you might need information. I hope
you know what this is. Gift you a curse USPS
Informed Delivery, Oh my god.

Speaker 9 (17:45):
A huge gift.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
Huge.

Speaker 12 (17:47):
As a member of the member of Informed Delivery, it's
so worthy because when you, I don't know, there's sometimes
that I'm so anxious about the arrival of my package
or my water bill or whatever it may be, that
getting that little image in your inmocks every day is
just like, oh, and I know that the mailman's coming,
so I can you know, prepare my.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
Dog correct this thing. And now this is just going
to become a commercial for this thing. If you don't
do that for this, you are missing out on a
cool part of life. You're getting an If you want
to get an email, this is a way to get
an email every day.

Speaker 9 (18:28):
I'm very popular.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
I mean, I love it. And the postal service is
a miracle. And this is truly one thing that I
don't I don't know how it works. And I worked
there for two days. I worked in one of their
data centers with a bunch of polygamist women. Once I
wasn't part of that. I was typing zip codes. It
was too cold and it hurt my fingers, so I
got out of.

Speaker 12 (18:47):
There, but knew that they were polygamist women.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
Oh you know a polygamist woman. If you're in Utah,
you know they look like they just got off of
a wagon. It's very clear you are the big winner today.
You got both bright, which is so exciting. Let's get
in here and see what you've got. So you've got
some great things. Let's see. Okay, you got backyard football.

(19:12):
This is from Joe Castle Baker, but if you open it,
it's actually the animated storybook from Pocahontas, which that's a
great thing. That's kind of a two for one. You
got a cookie, a sticker, and then this is so amazing.
This is from uh, Jeff Loveness, and this is your strips.
I think there's two left, so that's great. You're I mean,

(19:34):
this is a very good prize for you, so you
can go ahead and take that.

Speaker 13 (19:38):
If it's a good prize, Bridge, excuse me. If it's
a good present, why didn't you use it?

Speaker 1 (19:46):
Who is that?

Speaker 3 (19:47):
You know who it is?

Speaker 1 (19:49):
Oh my god, it's Jeff Loveness.

Speaker 13 (19:52):
Was this your little plan to humiliate me on the
stage where Shirley Temple learned to dance?

Speaker 1 (20:01):
Jeff, it's a good gift and I wanted to give
it to one of our wonderful audience members.

Speaker 13 (20:06):
Sam, your nose seems great. Your poors seem fine. This man,
on the other hand, look in that four K Those
poors need a little plunge.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Oh interesting, interesting. Well, if you think they're so good,
why don't you come up on stage.

Speaker 3 (20:23):
You're afraid me.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
It was so nice not having you in New York
or chicag Oh.

Speaker 14 (20:26):
I was there.

Speaker 3 (20:27):
I'll lend you to the end of the yard.

Speaker 10 (20:28):
You were there.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
I assume just as a fan.

Speaker 13 (20:32):
You bumped me because jd Vance had to come on
the show. Big Pam, Sam, can I can I.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
Put it on. This is ridiculous. I'm sorry. Wow, there
were three in there. It was even better than I thought.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
Well, surely he's not the only one.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
You've got to pull off that. He doesn't even know
how he gave these to me. He gave these to me,
and I don't know how to use them either. Okay,
I want you to go backstage and put that on
and then go back to the audience, and then we're
gonna we'll check in on your pores later. Okay, love
your little cult. Okay, always taking shots. Okay, whatever, get

(21:19):
out of here. Oh actually, wow, I almost forgot. You
want another thing that's so big that I forgot about it.
This was I think the biggest win. The big people
voted the most on this item. No, no, this is
a big reveal. You know what this is past I don't.

(21:48):
This is Telly's self. Oh, I don't know his name.
It's a Greek man who I don't know. He was
on a TV show, Sam Pancake gave this to me
and it was cluttering my home. So I was so
glad that you get to take it with you. I
guess that's a good thing. Of course, of course, everybody
give it up. For these three wonderful, wonderful. I guess

(22:16):
I could have offered help. Oh this is this is
a good reminder. I almost forgot. People have brought gifts.
So we'll quickly get through these while they do that.
Oh oh my god, look at this. Oh I think
somebody may have mentioned this on Instagram. This is why
I love Meta. Okay, so thank you for this. Let's

(22:42):
take these over because bending over is not for tonight. Okay,
let's see what's happening here, and I'll go through this
quickly because I know this is painful to watch a
person open gifts. This says to Bridger, Jimmy, and Bonnie. Okay,
neither of them are here. They don't get this. Okay,
this is on our anniversary. Oh, kind of an erotic card.

(23:03):
Keep it tight, keep it right. You were the love
of my life and I wouldn't trade our life together
for anything. I love you. Happy anniversary and that's love.
Ali and Mike easily, Mike.

Speaker 6 (23:15):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
Let's check Can we check in on the puzzle cam?
Can we see what's happening with the puzzle so far? Okay, cutaway,
cut away, cut away from the puzzle should have waited
a little longer. Okay, okay, we've got oh dog toys.
Oh this see now it's even worse than you get

(23:40):
to watch me open a good gift because it's just like, well,
who cares, but I'm thrilled. Bonnie's gonna go crazy. Oh
and oh these are delicious. The gummy clusters. Ooh, the
nerds gummy clusters. Thank you so much, you two, and
thank you for doing the work.

Speaker 7 (23:54):
Mike.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
Oh there's one other thing in here. You did it.
I'll put that right there. Okay. Oh I almost threw that.
I thought it was empty. Throw that. Okay, now we'll
get into this. Okay. Oh do you know what I needed?
A blanket just my size? Okay, Oh, oh my god.

(24:18):
People see again, I'm on Instagram. People are finding out
about me. I have the worst whisk in the world.
I think I found it in the garbage and people
were shaming me about it online when I made cookies
twice this week and someone has given me actually good whisks.
My sister was mad at me about the whisks. I
think she was embarrassed that those were online. So thank you.

(24:39):
Is there a card or anything, I don't think so,
but thank you to whoever and now I've got my things.
Should we see what else is going on in the show? Oh?
Oh no, what someone here? Somebody here? Is somebody here? Oh?

(25:01):
Maybe it's Lauren Lapis Lauren? Lauren? Oh, take a seat.
Welcome to I said, no, good.

Speaker 9 (25:17):
Wow, Oh my gosh, how's it going?

Speaker 1 (25:20):
You made it?

Speaker 9 (25:21):
I'm so happy to be here.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
You were one of our earliest guests.

Speaker 3 (25:24):
Do you want to cookie?

Speaker 9 (25:25):
I'm curious about him for the second I start talking.
But are they good? Have you had one?

Speaker 1 (25:30):
I hope I made them?

Speaker 9 (25:32):
You made them?

Speaker 1 (25:33):
And if people don't like them, I'm gonna be crubbed.

Speaker 9 (25:35):
I'll take a bite.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
Take a bite. Let's let's hear how it is.

Speaker 9 (25:38):
What's what's the flavor? I'm working?

Speaker 1 (25:39):
It's chocolate chip? Icy in here?

Speaker 3 (25:42):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (25:42):
Can you eat a walnut?

Speaker 3 (25:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 9 (25:43):
I just wanted to know about it.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
I'm glad you asked. We just something. I'm grabbing an
EPI pan. Take a bite. Let's and if you don't
like it, don't look at me. You like it. It's
a good cookie. It's actually it's a good cookie. This
is really perfer Oh, thank you.

Speaker 9 (26:01):
I'm usually not one for nuts.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Oh. Lauren was one of our first sixteen guests.

Speaker 9 (26:07):
I can't believe it was. I really was.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
In twenty twenty.

Speaker 9 (26:10):
I often think about what I gave you and how
offended you were.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
Lauren gave me a package of thank you cards.

Speaker 9 (26:18):
I thought you would need them.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
I didn't, and I ended up using all of them,
but one what are you saving it for? I was
going to bring it tonight, but I couldn't find the
right sized envelope.

Speaker 9 (26:29):
So I thought it was a good present, and then
I over time realized how unhinged it was as a present.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
I thought it was such a good early on present
because you really threw something in my face. You kind
of just showed that you didn't want to be there all.
One of my nails fell off.

Speaker 3 (26:45):
What okay?

Speaker 9 (26:45):
And I want to talk about these because the gloves.
I think they're iconic. I'm just so curious about you
know how like you know, people who work with money
get dirty fingers.

Speaker 1 (26:54):
Oh sure, sure.

Speaker 9 (26:55):
You have a bit of that happening here. And I'm
just curdus.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
If I was a bank teller, you're I go into
Chase Bank every day.

Speaker 9 (27:04):
These it's actually the whole fingers coming through on that guy.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
It's actually shocking to me that they're this dirty, because.

Speaker 9 (27:12):
That's what I'm wondering, is like the presents are inherently
really dirty, is what we're learning.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
Everything we touched, Yeah, everything we touch is gross. And
I've been using them for five years to demonstrate different products,
different items, and I guess I mean, like there's there's
pen ink, So I never used a pen to demonstrate anything.

Speaker 9 (27:30):
So the ghost of those whoever owned those originally probably.

Speaker 1 (27:33):
Right, right. But these were pristine white when I first
started using them. And people are begging me, people are
sending me new gloves, saying please wear those.

Speaker 9 (27:41):
I think they just have to get as dirty as
they're gonna get. At this point, I think you're locked in.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yeah, you're locked in. How often are you doing laundry?

Speaker 9 (27:49):
Every other day?

Speaker 1 (27:50):
At least every other day? I have two kids, though,
Oh that makes sense.

Speaker 9 (27:53):
There's so much laundry, and my dog pisses on shit
and fucking I'm like always washing my ruggable, which I'm
not sure.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
About you're not sure about it.

Speaker 9 (28:02):
I'm not sure because here's the thing with ruggabull do
you have anyone use them? And I'm happy if they
want me to be.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
A disrupted rugs.

Speaker 9 (28:10):
Yeah, well they totally did they really, we didn't know
what we were doing before.

Speaker 1 (28:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 9 (28:13):
Yeah, but I have the I have the rug pad
under it, but then my dog pisses on the rug
in the kitchen. It's their favorite place to piss, and
I think the pad has got to be disgusting. I'm
the rug, but not the pad. You can't wash the pad?

Speaker 1 (28:29):
Do you have to throw it out every time?

Speaker 9 (28:30):
I did throw out one and get a new one,
but it was it's expensive to do that.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
That probably costs more than the rug itself.

Speaker 9 (28:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
And it's almost like you can't buy a battery for
a Tesla or whatever. It's like, do they sell the
things separately from the rugble to buy a whole.

Speaker 9 (28:41):
New drug separately? You can't buy a battery for a
test leaf to buy a whole new test like.

Speaker 1 (28:45):
You throw them away or something as far as I know.
But wow, So cyber trucks plug.

Speaker 9 (28:54):
I just got one. Are they plugins or no? Because
I don't think so. It feels very gas chugging.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
I just ever they're pluginska and this is not an endorsement.
It's still a bad car.

Speaker 9 (29:03):
Oh yeah, the shape is preposterous.

Speaker 1 (29:05):
Have you been past the Tesla Diner. Has anyone been
past the Tesla Diner? What's that goober city where it's
in West Hollywood? I guess?

Speaker 9 (29:17):
And it's a pop up or this is like.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
Around Unfortunately, it's there for good sounds awful. It's a
hideous building that's kind of a cyber truck design, and
they play stupid movies. Well that's movies for loser, playing
the matrix, of course. I was like, of course you're
playing the matrix.

Speaker 9 (29:36):
Everyone who owns a Tesla is bad. But you know
a lot of you are right.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
I mean, it's become a very complicated issue in America.

Speaker 9 (29:45):
Everyone's trying to get their sticker on the back, like
I had those four.

Speaker 1 (29:51):
Uh yeah. The Tesla Diner, I think is already falling apart.
I feel like they already canceled half their menu.

Speaker 9 (29:58):
I think we need to not do this. Have you
in the City National Cafe or whatever it is by
the mall?

Speaker 1 (30:04):
Yes, over America.

Speaker 9 (30:06):
Yes, it's like a bank Capital one Cafe, and it's like,
who the fuck is like, let's get a coffee at
Capital One. It's it's cozy, so crazy, it's and then
you get a discount if you use your card, which
I guess is the incentive.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
I don't know how much of a discount could you possibly,
I don't know. And then it's not really even a bank.
It's just a bunch of ATMs.

Speaker 9 (30:24):
It's it's not a bank, it's a restaurant.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
That's my favorite. Oh my god, whoa somebody else?

Speaker 4 (30:35):
Who?

Speaker 9 (30:36):
Who could it be?

Speaker 3 (30:38):
Oh my god, Saren kill Oh.

Speaker 1 (30:44):
Turning away, turning away, I just.

Speaker 9 (30:48):
Noticed your slippers.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
Hello, Tarren Killum. You could say that talk Sharon. Welcome, give,
thank you for having me. These seats are giving give.
We were talking Tesla diner.

Speaker 3 (31:06):
Yeah, there there's a diner for Tesla. I have not
my wife Tesla before Trump was elected, saying she got
the SUV model, didn't like it too much windshield and
I've always felt cooked.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Right, I don't understand the appeal of that. You're constantly
being blasted by the sun.

Speaker 3 (31:27):
Yes, and the technology of a Listen, I'm gonna go
full old man right now.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
I wanted what was the show for?

Speaker 3 (31:34):
Yeah, cars have too many buttons. Now everything's button like
a handle. Worked great.

Speaker 9 (31:40):
I don't like the sh I rented a minivan recently,
which was amazing she was like, I got to switch
over to this, but it was a button to switch gears,
and I thought, this is so fun. I'm to start
going all over the place. If I pushed the wrong thing,
it was crazy.

Speaker 1 (31:54):
No, we've all kind of developed the muscle memory for
the basic car features. Yes, I don't want to relearn.
I'm now twisting to get to that.

Speaker 5 (32:03):
Twist.

Speaker 9 (32:03):
I twisted my car on.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
It's why you gotta do like a like a purple
going not for me, Not for me. I was driving
a stick shift for my first five years in l A.
And it felt he wasn't thought you were cool because
there's a stoplight every four feet.

Speaker 9 (32:19):
Yeah, that's so annoying.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
It's a real difficult time. But uh yeah, I kind
of miss it now because I'm twisting. It's not any fun.
But can I say something about the steps twister? Yeah,
thank you.

Speaker 3 (32:31):
We always say that about it.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
I feel like I had number boy.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
Twist I had.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
When did you realize Elon Musk was horrible?

Speaker 3 (32:50):
I'm still like barely aware of him, to be honest,
like barely aware of it. I think I think I
think the Amber Heard relationship kind of made.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
Me go interesting that I didn't know that happened.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (33:03):
Is that pre or post crimes?

Speaker 3 (33:05):
Uh?

Speaker 9 (33:06):
She was in a relationship with Grimes or Grimes had
a baby with.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
Him to I think too?

Speaker 9 (33:12):
Yeah, okay, yeah, it changes my experience listening to her music,
which I totally.

Speaker 3 (33:17):
Ruined her catalog for my relationship is like Pirates of
the Caribbean, Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp feel bad for her.
Aquaman is not that bad? Oh no, wait, Cord thing
a mega cup? What does he say? Like a mega
glass of wine? And the lawyer I never heard.

Speaker 1 (33:36):
Of this, okay.

Speaker 3 (33:40):
And then and then Amber is like she's moved on
from Johnny to Elon and I was like, oh, that
feels that I'm not rooting for that for some reason.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
No, that's tough to hear. That's really tough.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
And he puts buttons on his car doors.

Speaker 9 (33:54):
No, it's not easy to get that handle out, okay,
which like an asshole trying to get into my friend's car.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Oh, I feel so stupid every time. I just feel
like trash.

Speaker 3 (34:07):
It's very it's also to get your child out with
like the te wing doors. Okay.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
The problem I'm not familiar with. Should I think we
should check in now, I think it's probably should we
check in on the puzzle case.

Speaker 9 (34:19):
Yes, I'm actually really curious about this.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
Let's see what's happening here.

Speaker 9 (34:23):
Okay, okay, so are.

Speaker 3 (34:25):
We allowed to give tips?

Speaker 1 (34:26):
You can give tips.

Speaker 9 (34:27):
We were pretty stressing out backstage because there's no piles happening,
there's no.

Speaker 3 (34:33):
You both seem wonderful, and we feel conflicted for you
that you had to buy tickets to then like watch
the back of our heads for an hour and a half.
But you start with corners, you go colors, edge pieces, edges,
use the full space of the table too. There's a
whole blank space to.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
The left, that wasted space to the left.

Speaker 3 (34:52):
Just use that to spread. As you can see it, very.

Speaker 9 (34:54):
Little forward movement happening, and I feel very worried.

Speaker 3 (34:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:57):
Well, and they haven't even touched their refreshments, so they're
probably parched.

Speaker 9 (35:01):
Oh you got to eat the cookie.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
And if you look at Bridge or you like the cookie, yes.

Speaker 9 (35:05):
You don't look at him, you don't like it.

Speaker 1 (35:07):
But has anything happened over there?

Speaker 3 (35:09):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (35:10):
You two. There's a lot of defense defenders audience, a
lot of them. These people committed to this.

Speaker 3 (35:19):
A thousand piece puzzle is ludicrous.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
Okay, I'm glad to hear this.

Speaker 9 (35:23):
I started them with like a four, a five hundred
for an hour and a half.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
Four you could do still looks like that. Don't rip
the pieces up.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
How long would it take each tribute to do a
thousand piece puzzle?

Speaker 3 (35:35):
Three days?

Speaker 9 (35:36):
It's a pandemic. I was really into that, and I
it would be maybe a week.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
I don't okay, I don't know if it was a
five hundred, five hundred a couple hours, Okay, Yeah, what
sort of pictures are you doing? You know what?

Speaker 9 (35:49):
There's a great company that I loved when I was
doing the Mountain, White Mountain or something like that. Do
they know this puzzle company? They make really fun ones
and it'll be like TV shows and it's like all
like little cartoons of all the best TV shows over
that's all the time, and like candy bars and it's
like all candy bars, very.

Speaker 3 (36:06):
Fun white White Mountain puzzles. Before Trump was elected, yeah,
after and I'm finally similar sounding. There's a great five
hundred piece when I did recently that's like iconic nineties
image that it's like Blockbuster and Dawson from Dawson's Creek
and that was a joy, and.

Speaker 9 (36:25):
That was like really fun.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
I'm having a hard time visualizing these as good puzzles.
But I like, you know, a beautiful scene.

Speaker 9 (36:32):
You like it like.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
Fall leaves, and it's just like artist Thomas Thomas. Yeah,
I only do Thomas. Did you know he had a
real public urination problem? This is true, I tell yeah,
down the doorbells.

Speaker 9 (36:48):
What's my favorite thing about it?

Speaker 1 (36:50):
Who is here? In it's Vinnie Thomas, Vinnie turning journey.
You're returning.

Speaker 9 (37:00):
Oh I love your wrapping paper.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
Look at that.

Speaker 14 (37:07):
Yeah, it's only ads from the grocery store.

Speaker 1 (37:10):
It's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (37:11):
He's a clipper.

Speaker 14 (37:14):
Stuff. I don't know what that is.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
Someone wasn't watching the monitor backstage.

Speaker 9 (37:21):
No, the gossip was too good back there. We were
getting into some good stuff. Really, we had different sides
of a gossip.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
Oh I heard about this.

Speaker 9 (37:33):
Yeah, I'm not going to share it here. I don't
know anyone involved.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
Can you say the key word because there's a.

Speaker 9 (37:39):
Fun No, I don't know what a keyword was.

Speaker 1 (37:45):
The crime that happened, Well, there's.

Speaker 9 (37:47):
A cheating scandal.

Speaker 4 (37:49):
Yeah, it was a fiscal crime.

Speaker 1 (37:53):
Yeah, yea. And my favorite fiscal crime, but we won't
get it because I don't want to give anything. Okay,
it's sensitive, Yeah, Bridger, you live here, I live here,
this is my home.

Speaker 10 (38:02):
Okay, wonder if you're interrupted.

Speaker 9 (38:04):
I'm so curious and I don't mean to be rude. Okay,
but what's under.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
What's under this?

Speaker 12 (38:10):
Oh?

Speaker 10 (38:11):
Yeah, we were wondering.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
I am wearing underwear, okay, and a conservative pair.

Speaker 10 (38:19):
Bloomers ruffle.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
My boyfriend told me I should wear shorts, but then
I thought, what if they're too long? And you know,
people wear less than what I'm wearing on the beach.

Speaker 9 (38:30):
You look great.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
I feel far. Oh in Europe, Oh that continent. Don't
don't bring that up and prostrate they No, I could.
I could take this off and I'm not going to
and everyone would be so comfortable. So nothing to worry about, Vinnie.
We were just getting into Thomas Kinkaid peeing places and
marking his territory.

Speaker 10 (38:51):
Big pisser Kinkaid.

Speaker 4 (38:54):
Kinkaid love to piss, and I think that's part of
what made him see nature in such a beautiful way.

Speaker 10 (39:01):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 9 (39:03):
He had quiet moments of solitude in it exactly.

Speaker 4 (39:05):
I think he became so relaxed that his bows loosed
and then he would make like a beautiful impressionist painting.

Speaker 3 (39:13):
No a worked until then.

Speaker 10 (39:19):
Yeah, I know who he is.

Speaker 3 (39:21):
But he did work with water colors.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
He did work with oils and water colors and had
the peeing problem. I don't know why I know that.

Speaker 9 (39:29):
Yeah, I want to know more about it.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
I have gotten to his Wikipedia at some point, and
there's a whole section public urination or whatever. Rip he's gone.

Speaker 3 (39:37):
No, I died.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
Yeah, I don't know because of the public urination.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
Sorry, wait, you didn't I just didn't know.

Speaker 14 (39:45):
Yeah, yeah, all right, died of a broken piss.

Speaker 3 (39:52):
Broken pissard. Yeah, died of a broken pissard artist father,
broken pissar.

Speaker 10 (40:00):
Oh, it's gonna be sad.

Speaker 1 (40:01):
At the end of twenty four, I predicted this year
was going to be big for public urination.

Speaker 3 (40:05):
Not the TV series.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
At the end of twenty I love the show. This
is gonna be big for a public domination.

Speaker 3 (40:14):
I liked them.

Speaker 4 (40:14):
We all thought different things because I was I thought
you were talking about your twenty fourth birthday, like.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Your year being.

Speaker 9 (40:20):
I knew you were talking about the year, but I
thought I never really say that twenty five, you have
to say.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
Twenty Yeah, we've got to fix that.

Speaker 9 (40:27):
Yeah, I think we should because I liked it. It
was good.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
Yeah, twenty four eight. You know that really works, right?
You don't say at the end of nineteen ninety eight.

Speaker 9 (40:34):
Yeah you're a nerd?

Speaker 1 (40:36):
Yeah, total dork.

Speaker 14 (40:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:39):
But I predicted that, and I think it has come true.
I saw a guy outside of his place of work
ping in Glendale, so that was enough for me.

Speaker 9 (40:48):
Does it bother you?

Speaker 1 (40:50):
And how long.

Speaker 10 (40:50):
Did you watch?

Speaker 1 (40:51):
I was a little stoplight, so I got my I
got my look, and then I carried on with my day.

Speaker 14 (40:56):
Of course.

Speaker 9 (40:57):
I think it's a little shocking, but I don't know
that it's like the biggest deal in it.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
I think it's fine. Yeah, I think we've got to
I think we need to loosen up.

Speaker 15 (41:03):
About I do have some Kincaid lore if you're curious.
Oh my god, we did call it ritual territory marking,
which he called he called it that, he called it that,
he called her that which allegedly manifested itself in the
late nineteen nineties outside the Disneyland Hotel in Anaheim. This
one for you, Walt the artist quipped, late one night

(41:23):
as he urinated on a Winnie the Pooh figure.

Speaker 9 (41:27):
Okay, that's funny.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
It was Winnie the Pooh, pissa, I love you.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
Wow, that's a year? Did he pass? I want to
say twenty fourteen?

Speaker 9 (41:39):
Okay? If I know that, then I just say you
should say fourteen after fourteen after twelve, twenty twelve?

Speaker 10 (41:46):
Do we all agree that you should piss on piglet?

Speaker 3 (41:49):
Right?

Speaker 1 (41:49):
Oh? Interesting?

Speaker 10 (41:52):
He wants a little hog?

Speaker 1 (41:53):
Yeah, of course.

Speaker 10 (41:56):
Please please?

Speaker 1 (41:59):
Are there any what did you take on me?

Speaker 10 (42:03):
Shivering rabbit?

Speaker 3 (42:05):
Are we filming?

Speaker 9 (42:07):
There's like a whole world online of this already I know.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
Yeah, Oh my god? Absolutely? Are there any others?

Speaker 14 (42:14):
Or?

Speaker 1 (42:14):
Was it just the Disneyland and he was off?

Speaker 2 (42:17):
That's that's all that was listed in some times. I
guess he denied it, but one of his friends like
ratted him out.

Speaker 10 (42:24):
So was he handsome?

Speaker 3 (42:26):
I wonder?

Speaker 1 (42:27):
Oh, I wonder what he looked like? That's it interesting.

Speaker 9 (42:30):
We won't know, because audience.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
We'll never know.

Speaker 3 (42:35):
He's just a skeleton.

Speaker 1 (42:38):
Well, look, you guys. As much as I'd like to
talk about Thomas Kincaid pissing on everything, uh, there is
something else.

Speaker 7 (42:44):
A full scar.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Thank you, it's my blank this blanket scarf. I was
so excited to have all three of you here. I
think the audience was excited to have you here. I
think we all just thought, let's just kick back and
have a normal Friday night for once, with no interruptions,
no problems. Yes, the podcast is called I said no gifts,

(43:06):
so I was a little surprised when the three of
you kind of trotted into the green room, each of
you holding what I assume is a gift.

Speaker 9 (43:17):
Yeah, I well I did.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
Oh, okay, okay, I did bring a gift. Okay.

Speaker 9 (43:24):
I can get really stuck when someone says no gifts
because it feels, you know that you spin out. Yeah,
It's like, does that what they mean? Or is everyone
going to bring one? And I'm not going to have one?
And so I want to make sure I have what
I might need. You know, you can reject it.

Speaker 1 (43:38):
Sure, And our confrontation on the last episode meant nothing
to you. You was so long ago, you know, COVID brain,
COVID brain, COVID brain. Well, okay, and do you two
have gifts as well?

Speaker 3 (43:51):
I did bring a gift. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
I hate you.

Speaker 3 (43:55):
Hate it, you hate it. You hate me. I hate it.
My friend ship with you, my friendship with Jimmy just
means far too much to me. And and I my
parents raised me well, and I didn't want to show
up empty handed, So hence the very loose Gelson's bag
before me and.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
Vinnie, you've got one as well.

Speaker 4 (44:14):
Oh, yes, it wasn't. It wasn't originally for you, so
you can't get my eye. I was brought it to donate.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
Okay, okay, during the show.

Speaker 3 (44:28):
That could be interesting.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
Okay, let's get into this. Look how beautifully wrapped this is.
By the way, this is a stunning Oh and it's
heavy too, good grief. Okay, let's lift this up and
get into it. Let's oh, this is a lot of stuff.

Speaker 9 (44:42):
Two things. There's two things.

Speaker 1 (44:43):
Take them out in a.

Speaker 9 (44:47):
Start with the start with the bigger.

Speaker 1 (44:48):
The bigger, heavier thing. Yeah, okay, let's see. Okay. The
secret language is a birthday.

Speaker 16 (44:58):
How this is?

Speaker 9 (45:00):
It's every birthday in there. People are familiar with this,
yeah right, this No, okay, this tells you about who
you are based on the day you were born. And
I didn't know your birthday, so I couldn't market for you.
But I wanted to find out what's your birthday. It
starts in the middle because of something about astrology.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
It starts like October ninth, let's get into it, marked
everybody market, Okay, let's see here September eight.

Speaker 9 (45:24):
Until you get a title like the day of something,
and that's your title of your life. And then it
tells you who was born the same day, and like
what kind of life you're gonna have?

Speaker 1 (45:32):
So here the day of the Penetrating Gaze.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
Absolutely not.

Speaker 14 (45:42):
It doesn't say that that is so funny.

Speaker 3 (45:46):
You're kidding me.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
I was born on a pervert.

Speaker 9 (45:49):
Day's so good? Who decides that's amazing?

Speaker 1 (46:00):
Who gets to decide that that's.

Speaker 9 (46:01):
So exciting to me?

Speaker 3 (46:03):
I don't even know.

Speaker 9 (46:03):
I can't calm down, and Juice to Elfers, I'm so
happy right now. Oh my god, I'm so happy right now.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
Juice Elfers is the author of this book, Juiced el First,
So I.

Speaker 9 (46:15):
Had this growing up, like my mom had this book,
and I like always loved looking at it and looking
at people I knew. So it tells you a little
bit about your main personality. Traits are over here.

Speaker 1 (46:23):
Okay, let's say multi talented, obviously observant, Yes, inspirational. Thank you,
thank you, thank you. Weakness has unraveled my opic and
complacently so.

Speaker 14 (46:37):
Elegant way to say the f slur that I've heard
of my entire life.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
Absolutely well, these things I just put in the general stop.
You can read into these whatever you want. It's born
on this day. John Lennon, complicated person. Let's see, is
there anybody else interesting? These are all dummies and losers.

Speaker 4 (46:59):
I see that photo of John Lennon where someone photoshopped
his butt to make it look.

Speaker 10 (47:03):
A little long.

Speaker 9 (47:05):
I need to see that.

Speaker 3 (47:06):
It's did they photoshop?

Speaker 4 (47:08):
Yeah, they photoshopped his butt crack to make it look
a little long, and then they photoshopped Yoka's butt to
make it look a little small, but just small and
long enough so that it doesn't look like.

Speaker 10 (47:16):
It was photoshopped.

Speaker 14 (47:17):
So now everyone thinks it's a real photo and it's
very funny.

Speaker 9 (47:19):
Well, that's so funny.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
I would assume he has a long butt, So what
I have?

Speaker 4 (47:24):
He has that vibe yright he walks around like he
got a long crack.

Speaker 9 (47:27):
Yeah, it's always sticking out.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
Yeah, let's see, there's okay. The last one on here
is William Edward Buck The Dutch American Ladies Home Journal
editor in chief. When this ring so now wait, Seawn
Lennon was also born on October ninth, John Lennon's son.

Speaker 9 (47:46):
John Lennon and Seannotte. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
Wow, how did.

Speaker 9 (47:49):
They how did they tie him?

Speaker 5 (47:51):
Then?

Speaker 1 (47:51):
If you've got money, yeah, you can do you can,
you can do whatever you want. Okay, what's your birthday?

Speaker 9 (47:56):
September sixth?

Speaker 1 (47:57):
Okay, September sixth.

Speaker 3 (47:59):
Right around the court.

Speaker 9 (48:00):
I know it's coming.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
On September fourth, September sixth, the day of the unpredictable fate.

Speaker 3 (48:07):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (48:07):
I always loved that these are like Harry Potter. Now, oh,
look at it before this accepting.

Speaker 17 (48:18):
Don't boo vote except vol.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
You are accepting, sympathetic and tasteful. Thank you, and yourself involved.
I've always said that you're repressed and fatal is sick repressed.

Speaker 9 (48:40):
Okay, wait, we need to do yours someone here.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
Okay, let me just see if really quick, let's find
one decent person that you share this birthday with. Yeah,
none of these are any good. Uh wow, you were
born on oh Jane curtain.

Speaker 9 (48:53):
Yes, that's a good one.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
That's actually a good one.

Speaker 9 (48:55):
Yeah, that is a good one.

Speaker 1 (48:55):
I have a good Jane Curtain sorry that I unfortunately
can't tell on stage because she hates another celebrity. Okay,
uh Taran, when's your birthday?

Speaker 3 (49:04):
I am April first?

Speaker 1 (49:06):
April first, okay, right around the corner.

Speaker 3 (49:12):
I don't think you know corners. I neither do these
two puzzlers, am I?

Speaker 14 (49:16):
Right?

Speaker 1 (49:18):
April first?

Speaker 3 (49:20):
You guys are doing great?

Speaker 9 (49:22):
Oh what is it?

Speaker 1 (49:23):
The day of dignity? Really nice?

Speaker 3 (49:26):
Thank you.

Speaker 9 (49:27):
They didn't lean into the April Fool's Day thing.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
Yeah, they really want the other direction. Interesting, Well, that's
very nice. And your strengths are your goal oriented, you're sincere,
and you're technically skillful, which seems like they're like, yes,
you're isolated, your one track and you're a workaholic.

Speaker 9 (49:49):
Sure, okay, those are kind of good weaknesses.

Speaker 3 (49:52):
Yeah, sorry, isolate your weakness is green.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
Let's let's see here, I'm let's see. Oh, so many
boring snoozes, I I know. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:07):
Sam Huntington and I were born the same day, which
is very exciting to me because I love the film
Jungle to Jungle Growing and Sam Huntington plays the Sun
the lead in that, and I always found that very
exciting and years later we ended up being neighbors in
Sherman Oaks and I came at him so fast birthday

(50:34):
and he handled it with dignity.

Speaker 6 (50:39):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
That's what you say on your first day of fifth grade. Yeah,
your new neighbor. Wow, but that's exciting. That's a good one.
And Debbie Reynolds. Sure, so that's the two you gets
here we go, let's see. And finally your birthday July first,
July first, wow, Vinny, July first Canada day.

Speaker 3 (51:02):
Right around the corner.

Speaker 1 (51:04):
Someone had to say it. July twelfth. That's not it,
that's not it. I was doing this so well.

Speaker 9 (51:10):
It's hard with those gloves.

Speaker 1 (51:13):
By the way, past them a cokay.

Speaker 9 (51:15):
Please don't eat the one I'm eating.

Speaker 1 (51:17):
She's very sick. July fourth, Now we've gone to far
we could.

Speaker 9 (51:27):
No, you have to do it. You have to do it.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Almost there, help me across the finish, like July first,
the day of emancipation.

Speaker 9 (51:35):
No, it's just.

Speaker 10 (51:42):
Not my book coded and kind of a fascinating way.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
It is my book. Your strengths are your books at
gay black Okay. And by the way, we'll get to
the we'll get to your celebrity and you've got a
big one, but you're profound, giving and determined, you're troubled,
depressive and long suffering.

Speaker 10 (52:03):
Yeah, and there is.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
But you share a birthday with Princess Die.

Speaker 4 (52:09):
Oh wow.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
Yeah, what a wind for you, I think.

Speaker 10 (52:12):
So.

Speaker 9 (52:14):
I've said this multiple times on podcasts, and I'm sorry,
but I have to say I've met her.

Speaker 10 (52:19):
No way I did.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
You should have just said that at the beginning of
the podcast.

Speaker 10 (52:22):
Just out of nowhere.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
I met her a picture.

Speaker 9 (52:29):
Yeah, when I was like ten years old.

Speaker 4 (52:33):
She came.

Speaker 9 (52:34):
I'm from Evanston, Illinois, and she came there to meet
with the president of Northwestern University and go to some
gala thing. And then she was. We knew where she
was going to be, and she was. She stood on
a corner and shook hands with them like a group
of people, and I shook her hand, and then I
rode my bike around going I shug her.

Speaker 1 (52:50):
Hay, what was she wearing?

Speaker 9 (52:55):
She was wearing a mint green blazer and skirt set
or pearls. And someone has found it on gutty images
and proven this all happened. Haven't dug deep enough to
see if there's a picture of me in the background.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
But that is amazing. I was just talking about I
remember when she died. Does everyone want to know about that?

Speaker 3 (53:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (53:12):
I was on my way to get a smoothie. You're
getting My family was going to get smoothies.

Speaker 14 (53:19):
So it sounds like you remember that your family was
going to get smoothie.

Speaker 1 (53:24):
The radio and then she ruined it. The radio is on.
I was supposed to be a fun night for a smoothie.

Speaker 18 (53:32):
You're going for a strawberry rasmataz and I wanted a
lime sublime, and now the people's princess, it's just, oh brother,
can we turn that off?

Speaker 1 (53:45):
Well, okay, we've got the birthdays? Is there anything left
to say about this? Over one million copies sold, that's
not a big number for a book.

Speaker 9 (53:52):
Also, it's been around for like a million years.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
I don't don't take that off.

Speaker 3 (53:56):
Yeah, what edition though?

Speaker 1 (53:58):
This is? I assume first, I assume this is the
first print.

Speaker 9 (54:01):
That's the first print. Yeah, can I there's something else
in there in case you didn't like that.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
Okay, let's see what's here. Okay, and you thought I
would like this more than the.

Speaker 9 (54:13):
Book, Yeah, let me tell you. This is a great set.
This is a five dollars set. From Target, but it's
always sold out, so I had to get on a
wait list and notified, and I resock when I see
that they're coming back, and it makes a very big bubble.

Speaker 1 (54:30):
Well, I think we should open it and get it
going here on at least would you mind doing this,
I'm sorry to drag. Or we could have the puzzle
people they like to do work.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
There's a very successful, long running show in New York
at New World Stages called Zillions of Bubbles.

Speaker 1 (54:44):
Yes, of course.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
And have you.

Speaker 9 (54:48):
Say zillions of copies sold?

Speaker 3 (54:50):
That's much better?

Speaker 1 (54:53):
Have you been to Zillions of Bubbles?

Speaker 3 (54:54):
I have? Yes? Yes? What is that experience? Child was
brought on stage as like the cute precocious one because
she's got she has these adorable it really cute and
like she has a bunch of kids standing like a
kiddie pool and pulls up the hula hoop and like
traps them in a bubble sphere.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
Parents are screaming, how long is the show? How long
can bubbles carry a show? I'm asking for myself.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
I think I think, I think printed in the program
is about eighty five minute runtime, Okay, really long, like
John Lennon's butt crack.

Speaker 14 (55:34):
Yeah, I know that's right.

Speaker 1 (55:36):
Oh, look on Lish is really good at doing chores
and quickly?

Speaker 3 (55:41):
Was it ever wrapped?

Speaker 9 (55:42):
I know she got up so fast. I brought her
a fully put together set as well.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
Like a cooking showy.

Speaker 1 (55:49):
Look at this.

Speaker 3 (55:50):
Good.

Speaker 9 (55:50):
Now here's we're going to struggle.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
Oh yeah, I'm a I puncture.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
I don't I don't try to peel forget it ever?

Speaker 9 (55:59):
Wow, day old manicure and.

Speaker 1 (56:01):
So oh so so was this? I've only got one left? Okay?

Speaker 3 (56:08):
Oh is it the second? Plastically?

Speaker 4 (56:09):
Oh look I got a good he's a penetrative gay.

Speaker 9 (56:18):
Now I see how the gloves got like this September
sixth Yeah, was there an extra part of the wand
that connects? Or is that as long as it gets?

Speaker 10 (56:27):
Because it looks short they extend.

Speaker 1 (56:29):
There looks another part they.

Speaker 3 (56:31):
So you don't have to get too close.

Speaker 9 (56:33):
Sorry, I know them so well.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
Any dish soap in your eyes?

Speaker 1 (56:36):
Exactly exactly. I'm kicking the book. Let's get this. We're done. Okay,
this is getting this is out of control. So we're
just gonna everything. What have you got to get one to?
We're all gonna do it.

Speaker 14 (56:47):
You guys can't see it from here. But he's got
Superman on his underwear.

Speaker 3 (56:52):
Oh, big bubble. That's a big bubble.

Speaker 17 (57:00):
That's a.

Speaker 1 (57:04):
Oh my.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
For the listening audience, We're we're talking very large watermelons,
like fifteen pounds week. All size.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
People who are just listening to the podcast are gonna
love this.

Speaker 3 (57:15):
Yeah, watermelons. Let this be incentive to get tickets to
the next live shows. Let's look at It's a visual
feast for the eyes. Okay, wow beautiful.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
Do you too want to try?

Speaker 3 (57:28):
Nope, Finny hands are full of diva. It's like labyrinth
in here.

Speaker 10 (57:35):
Guys gave me this cookie.

Speaker 9 (57:37):
That was so exciting.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
Oh Analish do you want to do it? Have you
guys ever seen do it?

Speaker 14 (57:47):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (57:49):
Yeah, yeah that the group.

Speaker 10 (57:52):
No, you've got enough, Holster is sickening.

Speaker 1 (57:56):
Okay, here we go. Yeah. Wow, that's an amazing gift.

Speaker 3 (58:07):
Liked it?

Speaker 1 (58:07):
That is incredible. What if I had just put it away?
What a boring evening? Okay, I'll save this run. Well,
should we get into Terrence gift? I'm dying to know
what's Okay?

Speaker 3 (58:19):
I noticed Lauren brought two gifts. I brought three gifts.
Interesting and I think it's up to you however you
want to open them in whatever order, but you could
space it out because there's a little bit of a
like this is a big, a big fad right now
or a big craze. Oh boy, and I hope it

(58:40):
brings you joy all I wish for you.

Speaker 1 (58:42):
Let's see here. Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (58:45):
So these yes, they are the Boo Boo authentic Coca
Cola branded authentic. Wow you three, it's a surprise box.
It could be any one of the it looks like
on the back.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
Yeah, there's little Snowman special Sofa Sofa Okay, uh snowy
mountains cool. Yeah, vacation fit, time to cool down? Look
what I found? Super surprised. Who's naming these? Uh surf
with me? It's me Gift Delivery and Crazy Ride. So

(59:22):
let's find out.

Speaker 3 (59:23):
Yeah wait, you can go back to back to back,
but you but hopefully there's no duplicates.

Speaker 4 (59:28):
Man, that's gonna be worth hundreds of dollars in a
year and then nothing.

Speaker 3 (59:33):
Set your calendar.

Speaker 6 (59:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
I just got a lafufu on the podcast, and I
wasn't familiar with how they looked. The lofufu is about
this big so it's like obviously poorly made.

Speaker 9 (59:44):
I bought a lafufu having I just learned about them
one day from my sister in law, and then I
was out in the world and I saw one of
Oh I just learned about this sounds this is a Yeah,
I bought it, and it took me months to understand
it was fake. I was like, wohy, was it so
easy for me to buy this piece of shit?

Speaker 1 (59:58):
And it was.

Speaker 9 (59:59):
And when you know it's fake, you know, you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:01):
Know, you just start to start to feel But I
do think they have a little character. You root for them. Yeah, okay,
let's get in. Let's find out.

Speaker 3 (01:00:09):
We were told to only bring you gifts that are
difficult to open. He will be in gloves.

Speaker 9 (01:00:14):
Oh god, I'm so excited.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
Oh okay, let's see.

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
He already opened the ball.

Speaker 9 (01:00:20):
There's other stuff in there.

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
This is the this is the special limited edition Coca Cola.
A little open bridger opening. He's struggling with the bag.
Which one is it? Which one is? It's cute?

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Is that?

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
That's really cute? Of this one?

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
This one is? It looks like a.

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
Snow la boo boo with a scarf, just like.

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
You, just like yes, it looks like it's on a
shopping trip, but it's none of these let's see. Oh no,
wait right, it's a rare one. How appropriate it's gift delivery. Wow,
feel good? Yeah, okay, let's put this in there.

Speaker 9 (01:01:01):
I want to know what.

Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
Else is there? Okay, let's say we've gotten there's there's.

Speaker 9 (01:01:11):
A there's environmental diatum. Oh, and then a little stand
which I'll set him up on there.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
For fantastic Karen, do you have any laboos of your own?

Speaker 7 (01:01:22):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:01:22):
I don't know this craze very well, but it has
become the go to, like birthday gift for my fifth grader.
It's very easy. Yeah. Yeah, I I collected toys growing up.
I loved all kinds of act Star Wars and X
Men and action figures. But I have a hard time
connecting to this one. It feels it feels like a

(01:01:43):
little bit of a gimmick. But I was also a
pog collector, So what the hell do I know? Love? O? J.

Speaker 9 (01:01:50):
Simpson said, what.

Speaker 3 (01:01:53):
It didn't come with a slammer. It came with a stabber.

Speaker 9 (01:01:57):
OJ in the slammer because it's from that magazine.

Speaker 17 (01:02:01):
I think.

Speaker 9 (01:02:02):
Anyway, I played it, thou I was in fifth grade.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:02:06):
Yeah, I guess there was no There was never a
good time in OJ's life to be on a pog. Yeah,
it never really made any sense.

Speaker 9 (01:02:12):
Yeah, that was fun. That was a good game.

Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
It's a genuinely good game.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
It was our marbles.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
It was our marbles. We had it all. Wait, do
either of you have lab Boo Boo's you have, Vinny,
I don't have La Boo Boo.

Speaker 4 (01:02:31):
I just I'm not in that place in my life yet. Okay, sure,
and I hope one day to be ready for that responsibility.

Speaker 9 (01:02:38):
Do you know even my lafufu they're huge conversation starters.
I had it on my bag for like a week,
and so many people.

Speaker 10 (01:02:43):
Wanted to talk to me more. The people you're having conversations.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
It wasn't good before we opened this one. I think
we should check in on the puzzle. Oh, let's go
over here. I'm sounds really.

Speaker 9 (01:02:59):
Good staff at all?

Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
Congress.

Speaker 10 (01:03:01):
How are you feeling, Lord, have mercy? Let these people
say it?

Speaker 7 (01:03:03):
You're feel.

Speaker 3 (01:03:05):
The energy?

Speaker 1 (01:03:08):
Can I do anything to help? Not? I'm bothering? How
are you feeling?

Speaker 9 (01:03:15):
You know when you're confident we're in it to win it.
We're doing great.

Speaker 5 (01:03:18):
This is.

Speaker 3 (01:03:20):
Really look really look for the green of the billiard's table,
you know what I mean. I feel like that's really
gonna help you. It looks like we got a lot
of dark Lincoln jacket right now.

Speaker 9 (01:03:29):
But really find that puzzle.

Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
This was given to me on the podcast, and then
I was pressured into making it myself and it took
fifteen weeks. Wow, it was on my kitchen counter for
fifteen these Republican presidents just looking at me every day.
It was a horrible experience.

Speaker 4 (01:03:44):
Would you ever be the kind of person who, after
you finish a puzzle, you'd take a pose it and
put it on your wall.

Speaker 10 (01:03:49):
You like frame it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
I do have one of my dog. That's a sweet one. Okay,
but I wouldn't pick well, you want to make sure.

Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
I really love that story.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
I had a great beginning, middle of the folding, the descriptors.

Speaker 9 (01:04:06):
That's who I am, my day of dignity, like.

Speaker 3 (01:04:09):
A bear getting into Okay, he's really mastered this opening.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
From I know now, I'm I'm a boo boo.

Speaker 9 (01:04:15):
First, the opening is really exciting.

Speaker 1 (01:04:17):
Okay, it's a different one.

Speaker 3 (01:04:18):
It's a different.

Speaker 10 (01:04:22):
This one is up to no good.

Speaker 1 (01:04:26):
This is a guy.

Speaker 3 (01:04:28):
Yeah, he's got red eyes and and.

Speaker 14 (01:04:32):
Have any of them?

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
Have any of you ever been snowmobiling? No? I have.

Speaker 3 (01:04:40):
Does it involve Jane?

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
Jane and I had a troubling experience with another celebrity
on a snowmobile. Ask me about it later. I'm not
meant to snowmobile.

Speaker 9 (01:04:51):
I'll just say I don't want to get one of that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
I'm not strong enough, it's too cold, and I shouldn't
be operating something that's fast. So but give it a shot.
I don't know. Okay, now, let's get this final one.

Speaker 3 (01:05:03):
Here. You did it, you did it, you did.

Speaker 1 (01:05:11):
It all Okay, here we go. What if you want
to open this?

Speaker 9 (01:05:16):
I want you to do it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
Okay, an audience, all open, You're almost there.

Speaker 9 (01:05:21):
Okay, they're getting bigger with this silicon.

Speaker 4 (01:05:25):
Oh, this one's gonna be wet. Environment West One's gonna
be wet. Dude, that's one of the wet one.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
Do you get a wet la boo boo? Okay, Okay,
we're getting I think this is a different one. I
think we've got three different It's in the worst type
of had god totally albino again, just like just like.

Speaker 9 (01:05:52):
That one's vacation.

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
It's a vacation one.

Speaker 10 (01:05:58):
Is exactly like the this.

Speaker 9 (01:06:00):
One's crazy ride. And then they come with a little
trading card. What you're gonna need to pull out of there?

Speaker 1 (01:06:05):
Okay?

Speaker 9 (01:06:05):
Great, yeah, don't lose track of that.

Speaker 3 (01:06:07):
Of this set, you have three out of ten, now
three out of ten, and I wish for you to
continue your pursuit of a full a full monty halfway there?

Speaker 1 (01:06:20):
Wow? Okay, Vinnie, did you ever collect anything?

Speaker 10 (01:06:24):
Did I collect anything?

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
You didn't do? POGs?

Speaker 10 (01:06:27):
No, I did.

Speaker 4 (01:06:27):
Here's what I would do is I would get like
a bunch of animal toys from the dollar store.

Speaker 10 (01:06:31):
I would set up zoos on the floor.

Speaker 1 (01:06:33):
Oh I like that.

Speaker 14 (01:06:34):
And I don't think I ever really collected Oh, fossils,
like like fossils. I have fossils.

Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
Oh that's nice. What sort of fossils?

Speaker 10 (01:06:41):
Shrimps?

Speaker 4 (01:06:43):
I have a shrimp, and I have a fish, and
like not alloids like squids oh wow, uh huh, and
like a couple of bugs in amber and those wonderful.

Speaker 3 (01:06:54):
Yeah, starting your own little Jurassic JP.

Speaker 1 (01:06:59):
What was that thinking about Jurassic Park? Now, this is
how I act. When I think about Jurassic Park, the well,
the Labu boos are fantastic, So you can join my lafufu.
This is what I'll say about the lafufuo, and if
you haven't bought either, the nice thing about a lafufu

(01:07:20):
is that I think they have a superior package packaging
because you open like a potato chip bag, and that
there's nothing more satisfying than that. Yeah, this is a
little sleek er, a little bit more twenty twenty five,
but uh, wonderful, beautiful.

Speaker 10 (01:07:35):
There's nothing more satisfying than a pop.

Speaker 1 (01:07:38):
Should we get into yours vini? Yeah, okay, bring it over.
I'm not coming to you.

Speaker 14 (01:07:42):
And I would say, just kind of unwrap everything and
take it all out at once.

Speaker 1 (01:07:45):
Okay, yeah, right, okay. I really like this type of wrapping.
By the way, I ran a whole our Amazon business
when I was interning in New York, where I would
take free CDs from work I'm so sorry and use
these and ship them all over the country. They would
be wrapped up in coupons. You would do what I would.
I worked at David Letterman Show and they would get

(01:08:07):
free CDs and stuff, so I would take all of
those back to the apartment, and then I would wrap
them up in the circulars for the week and send
them across the country. And it worked. It was a
beautiful business.

Speaker 9 (01:08:18):
Yes, that's really smart.

Speaker 3 (01:08:19):
I profited.

Speaker 1 (01:08:20):
I profited.

Speaker 3 (01:08:20):
You're like like like Columbia House, but Bridger House, Bridgerhouse.

Speaker 1 (01:08:26):
Yes, so this is a great type of wrapping paper.
I suggest it for anyone. Okay, oh wait, what I mean,
I'm baffled. It's okay, I should take it all out
at once.

Speaker 3 (01:08:38):
Yes, it's for listeners. It's it's a it's a sort
of plastic bag that was wrapped in in the coupon
paper that looks like a plastic bag you get from
like a spirit Halloween store.

Speaker 9 (01:08:48):
That's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (01:08:50):
Seeing a raven a raven jet blacks.

Speaker 1 (01:08:53):
Would you put this on me? Thank you?

Speaker 10 (01:08:58):
Well, there's a little bit of a hairnet on it. Okay,
one of the little bit of a hearnet. You got it,
of course.

Speaker 3 (01:09:05):
I'm what I'm seeing is sort of Madeline con clue.

Speaker 1 (01:09:08):
Yeah, vibe Vinnie, what was this wig four?

Speaker 4 (01:09:14):
Well, it was just the most delightful little shaking gough
kind of a ferocious little bob.

Speaker 10 (01:09:21):
And I thought you might. I didn't know if you
had one kind of in your collection.

Speaker 9 (01:09:25):
This is really good. Yeah, wow, that's beautiful.

Speaker 4 (01:09:29):
I think everyone needs one that looking perfect.

Speaker 10 (01:09:35):
It's really nice.

Speaker 3 (01:09:36):
Could be Madeline con could be yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:09:39):
Okay, And was this used for another costume or what?

Speaker 4 (01:09:43):
No, it wasn't. It's one hundred percent human. Yeah, and
it was actually very expensive.

Speaker 1 (01:09:49):
Is that true?

Speaker 7 (01:09:50):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (01:09:53):
Oh my god, it's a beautiful wig.

Speaker 6 (01:09:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (01:09:55):
Yeah, yeah, it's very so be careful with it, be
gentle with it.

Speaker 1 (01:09:58):
Very careful.

Speaker 10 (01:09:59):
It's yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:10:01):
Yeah, I can feel a different attitude for me already. Serious.

Speaker 14 (01:10:07):
She don't got no pants on, she don't got no
panties on?

Speaker 1 (01:10:12):
It all deal with Uh, do you have a lot
of wigs?

Speaker 17 (01:10:18):
No?

Speaker 4 (01:10:20):
So basically I got this because i'd gotten you the
other thing, and it felt almost as if you'd want
to wear it while you had this. Oh, I thought
it might be fun for you to, you know, if
you wanted to unwind and you know, take a break
and be someone else for a second. There's a lollipop
as well, because I thought it would round out the character.

Speaker 1 (01:10:39):
Very low la oh. It's a gorgeous mug with two
little pomeranium.

Speaker 4 (01:10:50):
That is it's actually Javanchi. What the mug is Javanci
and it's expensive. Yeah, yes, no, I saw it in
the store and clearly someone made this for someone else's
a gift to those are clearly someone's owned Pomeranians. And

(01:11:11):
I was kind of inspired by who that person might be.
I mean, it clearly is a woman, sure, and maybe
her name is Linda, and maybe she works in hospital administration.

Speaker 1 (01:11:24):
Oh is that why she has the two suckers and
here like yeah, yeah, yeah, she gives those out take
a sucker before you go.

Speaker 10 (01:11:31):
And the wig is part of it.

Speaker 4 (01:11:32):
She has beautiful hair, but she wears wigs just because
she enjoys them.

Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
Right, Yeah. Did you get this at Goodwill? Because that
that to me, I'm asking because when you find something
that there's a very sad section of Goodwill where it's like, oh,
these were former gifts that someone thought about. And here's
what I.

Speaker 4 (01:11:47):
Will say if even I did get it from goodwill,
But there is I was looking through Goodwill while I
was looking for that mug, and there was a book
that said for Tony.

Speaker 14 (01:11:58):
Oh and one wonders.

Speaker 4 (01:12:02):
Do you remember what the book was? The book was
It was a whole bunch. It was a whole bunch
of New Yorker cartoons, but only the dog ones. It
was only dog New Yorker cartoons, and a whole bunch
of people had signed it for Tony. Oh so, I
don't know if Tony had a falling out with his
friend group, yeah, or if he'd like moved to another

(01:12:23):
country where that kind of thing isn't allowed. Those are
probably the only two options. And then of course they
saw this mug which had no information whatsoever. Besides the
two Pomeranians, which, based on the quality of the flooring,
have shortly passed away by now.

Speaker 9 (01:12:38):
The picture is not even good.

Speaker 1 (01:12:42):
One of them's cut off and one's totally blown out.
Yeah yeah, I mean, sir, if it was just the
only picture ever taken of these dogs, that's the question
I can I guess I can see why you would
get rid of this.

Speaker 3 (01:12:54):
May I ask a process question? Just because it came
with two lollipops, yes, different flavors. One made it into
the wrapping with the mug, one made it with the wood. Question,
is there is there a connection there?

Speaker 10 (01:13:06):
And that's a really great question, thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:13:07):
Here's what happened is basically sometimes every now and then
I get a sandwich from a sub sandwich place and
they give you a free lollipop with the meal. Wow,
I've done it twice in the past couple of weeks.
And so I do have two lollipops.

Speaker 9 (01:13:20):
And they're very different.

Speaker 10 (01:13:21):
And they're very different.

Speaker 9 (01:13:22):
It's not like they just have one big bulk bag
that they're handing out. These are like, No, this week
we're doing caramel apple pops, and last week it was
blue Ras.

Speaker 1 (01:13:29):
Oh, now blue Ras, blue Ras.

Speaker 9 (01:13:31):
This was where it was at.

Speaker 1 (01:13:32):
It's a classic flavor. Everyone loves it. There's no one
that doesn't like it. There's no one.

Speaker 4 (01:13:35):
I go to the mug and I had forgotten that
that lollipop was in there, and I was looking around
my house, so fuck, go, fuck go, fuck I can't
find a lollipop.

Speaker 10 (01:13:43):
I meant to bock the lot and and then I
find the.

Speaker 4 (01:13:45):
Second lollipop and I think, okay, perfect, I'll just throw
this in the bag.

Speaker 1 (01:13:49):
Perfect. What I want to know the sub sandwich place
that's really great service.

Speaker 10 (01:13:53):
Love and sandwiches.

Speaker 1 (01:13:54):
Okay, it's very good.

Speaker 10 (01:13:55):
Get the Dutch crunch bread.

Speaker 1 (01:13:57):
Oh, I love a Dutch crunch. What a texture what
a flavor. Well, I've got my wig on. Do either
of you have any wigs?

Speaker 9 (01:14:03):
I have many?

Speaker 1 (01:14:04):
You have many? That makes sense.

Speaker 9 (01:14:05):
You have a favorite, Yeah, to have a favorite, I have,
you know, I have just a lot of them are
in terrible condition because I just used them for sketches
and I've never washed any of that. I never brushed them.
That was not part of the deal. So there's one
that's like it's like it's like a mullet, but it
has like a lot of hair sticking up on top too.

Speaker 1 (01:14:23):
I love that one.

Speaker 9 (01:14:24):
It makes you look really uning.

Speaker 3 (01:14:27):
Yeah, my favorite. My favorite was was mullet ish. It
was like very curly, like tight curls, but but voluptuous
and sort of like sandy blonde. That was a real
go to. And then the other one that I really
held onto for a while was just like a wizard's
wig and beard because it was the easiest Halloween cost
a wizard grove. It's just Jammy's on the street for.

Speaker 9 (01:14:48):
It's really hard to get rid of those. I can't
get rid of them. I just go like these are
it's too good. I don't know, just for just one
day when I'm being silly, even at this.

Speaker 1 (01:14:55):
Point, get rid of wigs.

Speaker 9 (01:14:57):
Yeah, and who wants my old nasty way.

Speaker 1 (01:14:59):
Yeah, it is something you just kind of have to
keep for the rest of your life.

Speaker 4 (01:15:04):
No, it's my old nasty wig, my old nasty wig.

Speaker 1 (01:15:13):
Well, I feel like I've got my wig on, I've
got my laboo boos. I have everything I could possibly
ever wish for. I think we should play a game. Yay,
We're gonna play a gift or curse. I do not
need a number from any of you because I've got
our game pieces set to go. So we let's see here.
Let's get into it. I I gotta get into the dock. Now.

(01:15:34):
This is how we play gift or a curse, and
you all have to be careful. I'm gonna name a
few things. We'll see how how I feel, and you're
gonna tell me if they're a gift or a curson why,
and I'll tell if you're right or wrong, and then
we'll see who wins because there are correct answers. Okay,
first up, be very careful. Okay, First up, constellations and
this is from a listener named Sam. Gift or a Curse. Constellations, Lauren, oh,

(01:15:57):
I would say it's a gift because it makes you
feel like there's some sense of purpose in the world. Okay,
oh universe, okay, taran.

Speaker 3 (01:16:08):
Curse for two reasons, almost the inverse of what, like
they don't really grant light, Like if there's a light
on anywhere near you, you're not gonna see them anyway,
so they're worthless for that. But also like to see them,
like and then find out what they are. They're far away,
they might not even exist anymore, Like they're nothing, Like
they literally are nothing. But also when I think of constellations,

(01:16:29):
I think of like constellation stickers that glow and are
stuck on your ceiling, and like every time you try
to move and get those off, it peels the pain right,
and it's you don't get your deposit back.

Speaker 4 (01:16:40):
Okay, Vinny, I think constellations are a curse in the
sense that those people are lying when they say that
those stars look like what they're saying they look like
that's true, that's ridiculous.

Speaker 10 (01:16:51):
They don't look like a hunter. That's incredibly stupid.

Speaker 4 (01:16:54):
When I see people draw out those lines, it's like,
get a.

Speaker 10 (01:16:57):
Grip, Yeah, get a grip.

Speaker 9 (01:17:00):
There's a really long space and.

Speaker 10 (01:17:04):
The handles all bent like this. Yeah, what are you
using that to dip into.

Speaker 1 (01:17:10):
Goofy Oh, you're correct, curse the second gift left my mouth.
I knew they don't exist. Yeah, I mean, I agree
with Vinnie. They're not real. Somebody made them up, and
now a bunch of people have gotten tricked into thinking
they're real. I've anytime I've ever said, oh I see it,
I didn't see it. I simply didn't see the constellation.

(01:17:31):
I just wanted to move on with my night. So
it's a curse. Two of you have gotten points. Lauren,
you're behind.

Speaker 12 (01:17:38):
That sucks.

Speaker 1 (01:17:38):
Okay, it sucks pretty bad.

Speaker 9 (01:17:40):
That's hard.

Speaker 1 (01:17:41):
It's tough for you. Let's do a quick puzzle check in.
Oh whoa, I mean I've okay, sure there are pieces
that have been hooked together. Okay, let's get into the
second one here.

Speaker 3 (01:17:56):
This is from listening.

Speaker 10 (01:17:56):
Easy, you keep checking in. It's so dispiriting. I'm hoping
for America.

Speaker 1 (01:18:02):
Okay, okay. This is from a listener named Caitlin. Gift
or a curse. Putting on deodorant after putting on your clothes.

Speaker 9 (01:18:13):
I think it's a gift. I did it today, Okay,
I actually usually do put it on after I put
on my clothes. But I don't necessarily go she's putting
it on the shirt. I mean, I'll go under the shirt.
I'll get in there. It's a gift, though, it's like,
you know, it's my last bit of self cash before
I leave.

Speaker 3 (01:18:31):
Absolute gift. You got to put the shirt on first.
It's all about control. What would you rather have, like
maybe a little smudge around the inner sleeve of your
shirt or a huge streak of the side as you
pull it down over your body.

Speaker 10 (01:18:47):
Yeah, you know what?

Speaker 4 (01:18:48):
And I was going to say curse, but now I
do think it's a gift because if I'm putting deodoran
on when I have my clothes on, it means that
last minute.

Speaker 10 (01:18:55):
I remembered to do it.

Speaker 14 (01:18:56):
Yeah. Yeah, if I'm doing it means I remember, And
that's a blessing.

Speaker 1 (01:19:02):
It's a gift. I think. I'm actually shocked that this
was brought up for a long time.

Speaker 3 (01:19:06):
I did it before you.

Speaker 1 (01:19:08):
Get the streak, and also the the way you two
are describing it is you're putting it through the sleeve.

Speaker 3 (01:19:14):
Under the shirt up under. I still find that there's
there's high risk of smudging on the way up. You
really got a guide it close to the tor show
through the sleeve. Unless you're wearing a long sleeve, then
you must you must go through torso. But a short
sleeve you just have quicker access. And again it's being
hidden between bicep and lateral right.

Speaker 1 (01:19:34):
Does that makes sense?

Speaker 14 (01:19:38):
I think I always roll mine up.

Speaker 10 (01:19:40):
You guys, don't bunch your shirt up and roll it
up and hike it.

Speaker 3 (01:19:42):
Out a greaser so.

Speaker 9 (01:19:46):
I don't need my tits out while I put the
deodoran on, So I don't do that. You've never read
the directions over your head like Amelia Badelia, she's too literal.

Speaker 1 (01:20:01):
No, I think that's a gift. I mean I tell
every everyone should do that, and I guess if you
had the spray, you could go. But I've never I
don't have the spray. Anyone do the spray because I'm curious.

Speaker 9 (01:20:12):
Like like when I do my like workout classes, some
of the places will have like the spray if you
are in a pinch. I guess that's the best situation.
I don't think anyone's using spray every day.

Speaker 1 (01:20:20):
Anybody, Okay, why.

Speaker 10 (01:20:21):
Would you use the spray?

Speaker 4 (01:20:22):
It's like you're a cow being sprayed with pesticide or something.

Speaker 14 (01:20:25):
It just feels it feels very agricultural.

Speaker 1 (01:20:29):
Clap. Clap if you use the bar oh, interesting enough response.

Speaker 3 (01:20:35):
Actually clap if you use the spray, well, we found him,
We found them them and then cows your cows.

Speaker 1 (01:20:45):
Absolutely not the entire audience with that, either of those.
So there's a huge Some people don't do anything. They've
got another there.

Speaker 10 (01:20:53):
You use the salt stick.

Speaker 1 (01:20:55):
Some of you are using a crystal.

Speaker 9 (01:20:56):
That was and just like that.

Speaker 10 (01:20:58):
Yeah, okay, which one of you is using oil? Raise
your head?

Speaker 1 (01:21:02):
What is the salt stick?

Speaker 9 (01:21:03):
It's like it's like using like you know, like a
salt lamp. Okay, yes, it's like using a crystal on
your armpit that it goes away. Crystal smells like ship.
Crystal smells like like a fucking b oh all right.

Speaker 1 (01:21:22):
This third one is from a listener named Eric Gift
to a curse when a man and when a man
and a woman are shopping at the mall together and
while the woman browses at the more feminine stores, the
men waits just outside.

Speaker 9 (01:21:34):
This is a curse.

Speaker 1 (01:21:35):
Look at this asshole.

Speaker 9 (01:21:36):
This is so this is so annoying, Like this makes
you feel the pressure, like you have to shop like quickly.
Like it's like, oh we're bored. I'm bored and gonna
get out of here. Like I hate that, Like stay home, please,
stay home. I don't want you near me if you're
going to be mad about everything I'm doing, like.

Speaker 3 (01:21:54):
A full curse, full curse. Binary is a myth and
we need to break down the system. Also for them all,
you're just like breaking up foot traffic in such an
annoying way, like stay with your party. Yeah that way,
I can work my way around the jacket rack. But
if you're coming at me from two different sections and
it's just it's just an absolute disaster waiting to happen.

Speaker 4 (01:22:17):
Okay, Finny, This is tricky because ultimately it is a
gift for women not to have him in the store.

Speaker 10 (01:22:26):
I think that is a gift.

Speaker 4 (01:22:28):
But the phenomenon itself, I think is a curse and
also dips into some weird heterosexual thing where you're like, I.

Speaker 14 (01:22:34):
Can't be in the store that has women in it.

Speaker 4 (01:22:36):
Yeah, that would be gay, and I'm not sure that's
how that works.

Speaker 1 (01:22:44):
So curse across the board for the three of you.

Speaker 14 (01:22:46):
Wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:22:47):
What Look, you're talking to a real guys. Guy, while
my lady's shopping, I'm checking out what else is available,
I'm wandering eyes. Yeah, that's the only time I'm I
get away from my wife a few minutes to look

(01:23:10):
for another wife. So I think it's a gift and
you all missed the point.

Speaker 4 (01:23:15):
What a disappointing factor in your your.

Speaker 1 (01:23:23):
Listen. You missed the point. I was not keeping track
of points. Oh, I think who feels like they lost?
I lost.

Speaker 9 (01:23:33):
I definitely.

Speaker 4 (01:23:39):
Imagine if your wife goes to Auntie Anne's and you
go to wels.

Speaker 9 (01:23:44):
Is For fucking dudes, I'm not buying some antis pretzel.

Speaker 1 (01:23:52):
Okay, we have to have a tie breaker. This is
from a listener named Emily. Gift or a curse waking
up moments before your alarm goes off.

Speaker 9 (01:24:01):
Oh, it's a It's it's two things. Because it's a
gift because you don't have to hear the alarm sound,
which is so triggering and upsetting. It's a curse because
you missed out in those two extra minutes of sleep.
So I think I'm gonna go with.

Speaker 6 (01:24:18):
Curse.

Speaker 3 (01:24:20):
Curse Okay, yeah, a full self inflicted curse. That's literally
what it is. Is like you're cursing yourself the night
before by setting the alarm, You're cursing, you're dooming yourself
to not allow it to perform its function, and you're
robbing yourself of precious moments of rest.

Speaker 4 (01:24:37):
Okay, first of all, I'll say I think it's a gift. Second,
I'd like to say the way this man is looking
at this clock, they are Yeah, they are gonna mess
it up later.

Speaker 3 (01:24:49):
I'll say that.

Speaker 9 (01:24:50):
It's like the movie Her, but it's analog because.

Speaker 3 (01:24:54):
Those sheets are gonna be covered in gears.

Speaker 14 (01:24:58):
I do think it's a gift because what you're doing
is you're you're winning.

Speaker 10 (01:25:03):
You're winning in a competition with the clock.

Speaker 14 (01:25:06):
To beat the clock is to offend the clock.

Speaker 4 (01:25:08):
Then this is its one function and you're beating it
that and the clock is your worst enemy, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 10 (01:25:15):
It destroys your sleep every night.

Speaker 4 (01:25:17):
So when you get one over on the clock, that's
giving gift down the house.

Speaker 1 (01:25:22):
The house, Vinny wins, it's a gift.

Speaker 4 (01:25:27):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:25:29):
It's a classic man versus machine And we all have
to stay on our toes and if that means waking
up before our alarm clock, that's that's a little win
against the machines. So you get you win and you
to lose completely.

Speaker 9 (01:25:44):
I can't accept that.

Speaker 1 (01:25:45):
Okay, wow, okay, Well, let's check in on the puzzle
real quick.

Speaker 3 (01:25:51):
Okay, the same Wow, okay, it is more organized now.

Speaker 7 (01:25:57):
I've been doing a.

Speaker 10 (01:25:57):
Puzzle for one hour.

Speaker 1 (01:25:59):
Okay, let's at us.

Speaker 3 (01:26:00):
Like, not a ton of movement on completion, but so
much better for organization.

Speaker 10 (01:26:05):
Yeah, my god, Oh, they've hardly touched their cookie.

Speaker 1 (01:26:07):
I do. It's disappointing to see that. But they're hard workers, and.

Speaker 9 (01:26:11):
You gave them one cookie to share.

Speaker 1 (01:26:13):
No, no, the other one's off camera. Lord, I'm gonna
go take a closer look, just to make sure. What's
to see what's happening? Okay, you two, let's see. Well,
if I gave you another two minutes, do you think
you could get it done? Okay, well, look it's time

(01:26:35):
for you to to give up. They won the game.
Come up here, come up here. Okay, let's say we've
got some prizes for them. Where do I Where did
I put the prizes? Oh? They're right here. Okay, close
your eyes. Okay, follow me. Let's see about you two gods.

Speaker 9 (01:26:58):
These bags have been through.

Speaker 1 (01:27:03):
Okay, let's see here. Okay, these bags, these were the
biggest winners on the voting. So first of all, let's say,
who wants what you have to You worked as a
team and now I'm tearing you apart. You want the
red okay, this, let's see what's in here? Okay, So I.

Speaker 9 (01:27:24):
Think that you opened the gift for them too.

Speaker 1 (01:27:28):
There's a lot of explaining. Oh, first of all, you
got for a new mug, and this again the product
launch of the new mug, so that's great. And then
now this is a special gift. This let's stand up here.
Let's see here. This says this t shirt blunked today's
forecast chance of bridger. This came from the wonderful Karen

(01:27:48):
Cheese and I don't want to give it up, but
I'm going to give it to you for the puzzle.
And okay. And then there's a sticker in there somewhere,
so you take that. Okay, And now, okay, now what
je cats. Let's it's not that you got the mug.
You got a sticker. Then you got a pair of
knee socks that are Raphael from Ninja Turtles. I've only

(01:28:16):
worn them once, and not out on the town, just
around the house. So they're clean and they're for you.
Do you to have anything to say about the puzzle?

Speaker 9 (01:28:25):
Well, you put it in good effort, but we weren't there.

Speaker 14 (01:28:28):
What is.

Speaker 1 (01:28:30):
Oh my, it's me, Oh my god, the.

Speaker 19 (01:28:35):
Ghost of Richard Nixon.

Speaker 1 (01:28:39):
Richard Nixon. That's right, I'm not a cry You may
remember me from water game.

Speaker 3 (01:28:52):
You two did such a good job sitting and organizing
and pretending to put the puzzles in the other.

Speaker 1 (01:29:00):
That it brought me back and finally.

Speaker 9 (01:29:04):
I could clear my name.

Speaker 1 (01:29:06):
I came up with peace.

Speaker 14 (01:29:10):
That was me.

Speaker 1 (01:29:11):
Water was free when I was there. I didn't get
it enough. Oh no, here we go again, ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 10 (01:29:21):
That is not Richard Nixon.

Speaker 1 (01:29:23):
Yes, what are you talking about? All right, fine, it's
not me Richard Nixon.

Speaker 19 (01:29:34):
It's me Sandy, one of the Mormon wives from the
Secret Lives of Mormon Lives.

Speaker 1 (01:29:43):
Wait wait, I'm sorry. I've watched every episode of the
show at least twice, and it's taken up a large
chunk of my life and there is no Sandy on
the show. Who are you? Okay, fine, I'm not Sandy
Roun the Lives of the Mormon ones. Are you it's me, Richard.

Speaker 19 (01:30:06):
Why and I'm here because it's our anniversary?

Speaker 1 (01:30:16):
Did I have something for you? Hurt me?

Speaker 19 (01:30:19):
Excuse talking about you?

Speaker 1 (01:30:21):
I don't feel I feel like I'm just a women
at the mall with your wife crazy?

Speaker 6 (01:30:27):
Are you.

Speaker 1 (01:30:31):
A j Jill.

Speaker 3 (01:30:34):
Averse?

Speaker 10 (01:30:36):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:30:36):
My god, happyversary.

Speaker 3 (01:30:43):
You, Happy and adversary Bridger's wife.

Speaker 1 (01:30:54):
Diversary, ridgerd.

Speaker 19 (01:30:59):
I have loved you for as long as we plan
this bit, And originally I wanted to come out of
a cake for you, but because I couldn't afford one,
I decided I'd do one better, one better, and I'd
come into a cake for you.

Speaker 3 (01:31:25):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:31:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh.

Speaker 9 (01:31:31):
They're so in love.

Speaker 1 (01:31:33):
When I'm gonna ahead at it before.

Speaker 3 (01:31:35):
You do, I have actually have some terrible news, but
you we just heard backstage.

Speaker 9 (01:31:39):
I hate to break this, but Jim is here and
wants to sing the.

Speaker 3 (01:31:44):
Song, so we're gonna end with the song come out
of jail.

Speaker 9 (01:31:48):
My god, gosh, sir, what are you She's gonna need that?

Speaker 1 (01:32:05):
Oh my god, your platonic friend. This is my roommate
I've been it's so nicely need you anyways, I have
to go change to something a little more comfortable.

Speaker 7 (01:32:22):
I'm dressed like a talent agent.

Speaker 1 (01:32:24):
Look at this. How classic?

Speaker 7 (01:32:26):
Yes, I've joined Cia, joined the team over at c A.

Speaker 1 (01:32:29):
A we should Well, let's thank our guests first, please, Lord,
thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:32:35):
Oh the bubbles, Oh, the bubbles, the bubbles absolutely wonderful.

Speaker 1 (01:32:40):
And let's thank our puzzle makers. You two were absolutely fantastic.
Give me a hug, thank you, and you can do
whatever you want.

Speaker 5 (01:32:55):
Now.

Speaker 1 (01:32:57):
Well, let's get into this song.

Speaker 14 (01:33:00):
I'm making you a comfortable.

Speaker 7 (01:33:03):
We have drums. Are you ready?

Speaker 3 (01:33:06):
Yeah, let's all right, you're ready?

Speaker 4 (01:33:07):
Hot?

Speaker 6 (01:33:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 16 (01:33:08):
When I invited you, I thought I made myself perfectly clean.
When you're a guest in my hole, I thought I
come to you empty handy, I said, oget, no, it

(01:33:29):
is present enough and I already.

Speaker 6 (01:33:33):
Have too musca.

Speaker 9 (01:33:35):
So how do you dare be so big.

Speaker 1 (01:33:41):
A blut?

Speaker 7 (01:33:43):
Some bubbles out of that thing? When I in you?
When I ask a stenough and.

Speaker 1 (01:34:12):
It has too much soup?

Speaker 17 (01:34:15):
So hot?

Speaker 1 (01:34:15):
Do you care? How are you.

Speaker 16 (01:34:21):
So bad?

Speaker 1 (01:34:27):
My god?

Speaker 7 (01:34:30):
It's past my bedtime?

Speaker 16 (01:34:34):
How much did we raise? Oh bridge, are Jesus Lord
in heaven?

Speaker 14 (01:34:41):
What has happened?

Speaker 1 (01:34:43):
I don't know, I'm gonna I'm so wet, but is wet,
my hand is wet. I've got wig in my mouth.
I can't believe you made it.

Speaker 7 (01:34:54):
We're sleeping separate tonight.

Speaker 1 (01:34:57):
No, my brother's in town.

Speaker 7 (01:34:58):
Oh you're on the couch. I had a great time.

Speaker 1 (01:35:01):
Well, thank you to everybody else.

Speaker 7 (01:35:04):
Yes, sir, and thank you Jim, Thank Jim, thank.

Speaker 5 (01:35:07):
You all of you.

Speaker 1 (01:35:08):
This has been so fun. I love all of you.
Please get home safe, yay. I said, No Gifts is
an exactly right production. Our senior producer is on Alisa Nelson,
and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday. The
theme song is by miracle Worker Amy Mann, and we

(01:35:30):
couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must
follow the show on Instagram. At I said no Gifts,
that's where you're going to see pictures of all these
wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see
the gifts?

Speaker 6 (01:35:44):
Did you hear? Funna man myself perfectly clear. But you're
a guess. You gotta come to me empty and said,
no guests, your own presence is presents enough. I already

(01:36:07):
had too much stuff, So how do you dare to
surbey me?

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Episode Transcript

Host

Bridger Winegar

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