June 2, 2022 • 63 mins
Bridger tries not to snap when Meredith Scardino (Girls5eva, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt) sends him a gift. The two discuss betrayal, giving birth to rabbits, and Babe: Pig in the City.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
But I invited you here thought I made myself perfectly clear.
When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come
to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your presences
(00:29):
presents enough, and.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I already had too much stuff. So how did you
dare to surbey me?
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Winecker. Oh.
I hope you're looking and feeling your best. I hope
you're having a nice day. I know what you're doing
wondering recently if anyone's ever listened to this podcast on
a boat, If you're on a boat, that would be exciting.
I can't imagine what circumstances would bring you to listening
(01:09):
to any podcast on a boat. I've recently been camping,
So if you feel, you know, like a slight shift
towards a more rugged feel of this podcast, that's where
that's coming from, and that will just continue. That's kind
of a permanent part of my personality. Now I've camped
for the first time in fifteen years, and now we're
(01:31):
going to get into the podcast. I cannot wait for
today's episode. I adore today's guest, just a wonderful person.
It's Meredith Scartino. Meredith, welcome to I said, no gifts.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Oh, thank you for having me. This is very exciting.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Do you camp.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
I've been camping. I like camping when there's an expert around.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
M hmmm, someone who can guide the activity.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
And someone who I feel confident is aware of the
local wildlife and how to deal with them. Like, I'm
very brave near an expert.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Well, it's easy to have award.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
Yes, but I'm a coward around just people I know
or my family, you know, Like if I'll go if
I'll just go out with friends, I'll be like, well,
you don't know how to deal with a bear. You
don't know you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Well, you can't just wander into the woods with a
group of non experts.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Yeah, I like an expert. I love an.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Expert as the bear the biggest fear for you in
the woods.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
It's funny you say that, because well, I love bears,
and I've read a lot about bears, and I've watched
a lot about bears. But one time I went camping
in I think it was Mount Washington up in New Hampshire,
and I was with Andrew and his friend Sam. We
went to who we all went to college together and
(02:55):
we were camping at a place. We were at a
campsite and it was pouring down rain, like lightning storm,
and we were in a field and so I was
just like, we shouldn't be in this field. We're gonna die.
And then they were just you know, just drinking some
whiskey and being like we're fine. There's higher things that
(03:16):
will get hit by lightning first, and I was like, no,
we need to get to the car. So then I
was scared of that. But then after the thunderstorm ended,
then I was scared of bears. And then after it
like became light out and I was no longer scared bears.
For whatever reason, I was scared of bears at night.
(03:37):
Then I was like, what if I have a heart
attack out here? So it's like there's like a higher fear.
Like ever one fear would be evaded, like the next
one would slot in like a like a vending machine
that's you know, dolling out freedom. There's like another thing
behind it.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
There are like fifty other things that could happen to
you during camping before the heart attack should be the fear.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
That's true. Yeah, Now I just didn't think of those,
and I don't know what I would have been worried
about after the heart attack. That was the last one,
and I was like, huh, I guess just my status
quo is being a little bit scared of.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Something looming, just ruinings everyone's fun on the camp. My
biggest fear, I think, outside of animals, is falling into
the fire.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Oh really, I never worry about that.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
You don't. I always feel like I'm I'm a little
too reckless around the fire, and I'm clumsy and I
feel like the loose dirt and all of this, I'm
going to end up in a fire at some point.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Oh that's interesting. That'd be really scary. Do you think
it has anything to do with being a redhead? Like
you already see your hairs sort of fire.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
This elemental thing that's part of my genetic maker. The
fire is calling to me.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Yeah, you're drawn, So maybe you're scared because you're drawn
to it.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Every time I'm around the fire, I hear whispers have
come home, come home. I don't know that scares me.
Running out of water scares me, yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
But I feel like, yes, running out of water is
very scary, But I feel like you've got three days
before you.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
You would, that's true, and.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Then you've got like about twenty one I believe for
hunger twenty one.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
That's so wild to me that you can go twenty
one full days. I got food eight hours and I'm screaming.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Yeah, I know, I agree.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
What does day fifteen feel like?
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Maybe by day fifteen there's sort of like a weird
plateau where you're like, oh, maybe I never need food again,
and then you're like, no, I very much need food.
I don't know, hope they never get in that situation.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
So is Mount Washington the last camping trip you took?
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Do you count like a safari?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah, that's a good question. I was in a ten
that feels like camping to me, I feel like camping
is it feels like something you have to do in America.
Then if you're if you're an attend in another country,
you've got to have a different word for How.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Do you know my safari was outside of America?
Speaker 3 (06:07):
You took a new Jafari in Colorado?
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:12):
You know, I like, I've gone camping in Montana, like
on horseback with my dad.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
You know this is you were in a rodeo.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
That's yeah, and it was very fun. And that was
surrounded by experts, so oh, I loved it.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
A team of X that was That was what I like.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
To be surrounded by a team of expend experts at
all times. And then I'm the most I'm so brave,
I'm so relaxed. I'm having the best time the lack
of experts. I love hiking.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
I I adore it. Do you hike often?
Speaker 4 (06:48):
We went on probably two and a half or three
mile hike the other day.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
And do you take Willy?
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Yeah, Lilly is an Willy is my sty spaniel. She's
tending one of.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
The most beautiful women in the world.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
She's so gorgeous. She makes me feel like a pig
like I. I walk around with her and I almost
feel like she's embarrassed to be seen with me. She's
so stunningly beautiful. She just looks like she should be
on it on a Ralph Lauren like embroidered pillow at
all times, or painted she's in here will like marrick.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Oh my god, this is such a treat. This is
one of my favorite dogs on the planet feet. Her
hair looks so deeply conditioned, just looks like she's wearing
a wig at all times.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
I made a video of her one time where she's
working at a desk and is mistaken for a beautiful,
enchanting woman from behind. Yes, and then she turns around.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Occasionally it's a little like excuse me, miss, and then
it turns around and it's a dog, right.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
And it was set to the song Who's That Lady? Who?
By the way, I keep putting it back on my Instagram,
and I keep getting noticed that like Sony has pulled
it down a copyright infringement. And every time, every time
there's because there's a button that says would you like
to protest this or something like that. Every single time
I write, I press it and I go listen. I
(08:14):
think that the artist who sang who Who's That Lady
will agree there's no other song that correctly encapsulates the
setting where my dog is mistaken for a beautiful woman
from behind. I'm sure the artist will grant me permission. Please,
I will see you in court. I'm happy to state
(08:34):
my case. And I just keep doing that every few months,
and I've done it like six times in the.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Past five years. You're gonna get banned from Instagram. I
sure that's the who sings who's that lady? Wait?
Speaker 4 (08:47):
I got to look it up because I care look
it up right now.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, it's one of those songs that everyone knows, but
nobody quite knows who sings it.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Oh it's the Isley Brothers.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Oh it is.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yeah, So maybe it would be an issue where like
one brother would say yes, and then the other brother.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
There's the family.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
No, we need money, we need the money. They she
can't use it for free. I don't know, there's more than.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
The cover of it. I feel like if we could
find a decent cover that could work.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
But then, I mean, aren't there also issues with you
have to, you know, pay the artists if you want
to cover their song, but maybe not on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
I'm posting songs on Instagram completely without a band, and
sometimes they get turned off. You know, it'll turn out
that the song, they don't have the rights to play
the song online in like Peru or something. It's very
odd international copyrights, but it's the Internet. What are you
gonna do?
Speaker 4 (09:37):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Who knew that the Isley Brothers were so litigious?
Speaker 4 (09:41):
I don't know. I mean I think it's just Sony Blanketly,
you know, having their box try to block me.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
They're deprivate.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
I don't think I truly believe the Isley Brothers would
be would side with me.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Isley Brothers, at least one of you is listening to
this podcast on a boat. Reach out to Meredith, get
in touch with Sony whoever's in charge of Sony, and
let's get the song. Yeah, it's a beautiful video.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
There's upwards of nine viewers that are on the line.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
People need to see this video of a dog in
a desk chair.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
And she's working. There's one part in the video where
it zooms in on what she's working on, and she's
got a file open called the Paris account because she's
very sophisticated, and it just zooms in and it just
has like fine bridges and perfumes, so enchanting.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Will you send me this video and I'll try to
post it to Instagram?
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (10:43):
When will you post about this episode with pleasure? Because
people are going to be screaming about I need to
see this video. We may have to do it without
the song who knows it's.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Or we'll just fight the court case together. It's actually
in a folder in my phone called Important Videos for Life.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Oh, how is Willy doing in general.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
She's good, she just went to the bed, she just
got her check out, no worms or anything like. She's
ten ten she is. And it's hard. It's pretty hard imagining,
you know. I hate the idea of how life spans
don't line up the dog and the human. I want
(11:30):
to find a way to make her live forever in
some way. Like I thought about trying to contact a
small town to see if I could send a bronze
sculpture her to the center of town, and then I
actually contacted It's sound crazy. I contacted a sculptor to
(11:51):
see how much it would cost to create a life
size replica for kind of like a Baldo in Central Park,
but of Willy. And it just would have some flack.
That's it's like, not famous, but just one of the
greatest dogs, one of America's top doggies. And it was
something really expensive, like eight or nine thousand dollars.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
And oh good lord.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
I thought, well, if I were gonna ever do something
like that, I would or raise money to do something
like that. I would have to like match it or
something and give, you know, to a charity because it's
just so indulgent.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
I feel like yeah, the amount of dogs that could
be saved for nine I know, but I think you
do the nine thousand dollars statue, you put it in
front of a rescue and donate nine thousand dollars to
the rescue. All and you're in eighteen thousand dollars. But
then kind of the guilt goes away and it kind
of makes sense. Willy's out there in front of a rescue. Yeah,
(12:50):
people are saying, who's that lady?
Speaker 4 (12:51):
Who is that lady? That beautiful lady.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
I don't know. I think it's something to worth, It's
something worth thinking about, and you think about, like how much,
over the course of the rest of your life each day,
how much that would cost? What is it?
Speaker 4 (13:06):
In some ways that means I know the day that
I die, and I don't know that I can calculate faster.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Do you know?
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Are you aware of the day?
Speaker 3 (13:16):
I mean, my goal is to live to one hundred
and fifteen and then have my nieces pushed me out
of a plane.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
I have thought about that. You know, when you're you're
above ninety or something, that's kind of the time to
try weird drugs that I never did, a heroin on it,
to jump out of a plane, you know that kind
of I don't know that I will.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Yeah. I feel like you get to ninety and it's like,
what is there's truly nothing left to lose? Why not
give all these other things a shot? Yeah, just go
for it rather than just kind of sit in front
of the TV or whatever. Just start to really experiment
with your body.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Yeah. Or my other plan was like, I'll just because
I don't watch a lot of Law and Order, but
there's a lot of them. I'm like, I'll just watch
Law and Order until I die.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Like fact, just have a constant stream in your home. Yeah,
just have it over like speakers in the kitchens, and
there's just no moment when it's not part of your
a television in every single room. It's not a bad idea,
bad idea. What else has been going on?
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Oh? I don't know. I mean, we just finish season
two of Girls five EVA on Peacock Dropping weekly.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Incredible show. Thank you, Thank you, one of the funniest
shows on television. Are you doing anything fun, anything exciting
because you've been working probably NonStop for the last year.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
Yeah, I'm going I am going fishing in Maine.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Yeah, I haven't been fishing. I don't. I don't know
that fishing's for me. I'm just going to really admit
that to myself right now.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Yeah, it's kind of meditative in a way to be
out like if you're fly fishing and waiters and stuff
and being in the middle of a beautiful just like
a really beautiful place. It's just like kind of a
way to be with nature and then rip its mouth
like an asshole.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
I love to stand in a river or a body
of water, so I guess I could just do that.
You could do that, get waiters and just kind of
go stand in various streams.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
And river standing for the weekend.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
My grandpa would take me out standing.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
He was an expert standard standing since he was oh
since he was two, since he could stand out, be
with standing.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Oh, I've got my standing hat on, I've got my
standing poles.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Walking into sports outfitter and being like, where's your standing
section rather standing here?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Oh well, I mean, look, we've got to talk about
something else. We have to talk about something else. Obviously,
I was looking forward to having Meredith's Gardino on my podcast.
I thought, I a door Meredith. We haven't seen each
other in years. We're going to catch up. We'll have
(16:24):
a nice time and then we'll move on. Maybe we'll
you know, see each other whatever. So I was, you know,
I was a little surprised the podcast it's called I
said no gifts which are fully aware of emails have
been exchanged. The podcast name is just out there. I
opened the front door and there was a large box
(16:46):
waiting for me. They've been shipped to me. This is
please handle with care. Glass on it has said some
other things that I don't want to might give it
away to the listener. What could possibly be happening in
this box? And so we'll just look Meredith, this is
a gift for me.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
It is a gift for you.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Okay, good, fine? Uh do you want me to open
it here on the show? Would you like me to
save it for later?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
No, I would love for you to open it. I
know you don't want gifts, but I'm just so. I'm
a I'm a classy lady first and I lead with class.
And since you had you hosted me on the podcast,
it's really a host host gift.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Okay, lead with class.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
I lead with class. Anyone who knows me knows that
I leave with class.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
That's the only thing that anyone can certainly say about
Meredith Scardino as you always lead with.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Class, elegance. Sometimes it's elegance, but right now it's class.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Okay, well, I'm happy to open it here. I've got
my new box cutter. We'll just open this next to
the mic. We love the click, We love the click.
This is so dangerous. This is gonna director little.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Thing that keeps your peas from popping.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Yes, it's like this is a little screen. This is
in front of the microphone. We're getting behind the mic.
We're clicking, and we're gonna get open. Get the box
open here. I actually have to get off mic here
to open this boxes. This may be the largest box
that's ever been sent to this podcast.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
So can I get a look at it?
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Yeah, I'm gonna put the box cutter down. Safety first,
I'm gonna have to stand to show.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
You this Bigger than I thought.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
It takes up my entire seating area, so it's hard.
I'm now kind of away from the microphone holding the box.
Maybe I'll do it from here so we can kind
of commentate. I'm going to Oh, I'm cutting towards myself.
I this safety this podcast. I'm really headed for a
worker's comp type situation. I don't know if I'm covered
(19:06):
by workers comp. And this box cutter is doing very
little work. Okay, here we go, we've got it. We're
putting away the box cutter. We're ripping, ripping into the box.
Oh I strength. Okay, now I'm putting it back on
the ground. I'm away from the mic. Listener, don't panic,
I'm now continuing. The box cutter didn't do enough work
(19:28):
for me. I've got to go back off Mike.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
He's working really hard.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Oh, I should say, listener, it was kind of a
large brown box, so just kind of visualize that in
your mind, a shipping box. Okay, we've gotten to the
second layer here. Now we've got a bubble wrap.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Do you leave all of this in?
Speaker 3 (19:51):
We hope to leave as much as possible. The listener
loves to hear an adult man just kind of slowly
open a box. Of course, ten minutes.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Do you get panicked knowing how much you know you
have to vamp for seeing how many layers?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
No, I find an absolute thrill. I mean, this box
cutter came to me and look now, the listeners like
I thought the gift was being opened, and now he's
just stopping. But there was an episode recently with weird
Al he had sent I think it was so difficult
for me to open without a box cutter that some
listener found a mutual friend of ours and sent me
(20:28):
this box cutter to help the situation out. But now
the box cutter has only led to more conversation about
the boxes getting open. So it's not really it's not
cutting down any time.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
I gotta listen to the weird Olt one we've got to.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
I mean that has maybe half of that episode is
me just struggling to open the box. It's probably not
fair to anyone. Okay, we're opening, We're opening. We've got
some bubble wrap. We might try to pop a few.
Oh that's that's very satisfying. Okay, this is as many
(21:06):
textures as you could get wrapping an item. We've had hard,
we've had bubble we've had Now we've got kind of
a listen to this. This is a fully artist's paradise.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
Oh, we're starting to see something.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
We are starting to get to. I've got the back
of it, so it looks like a framed object which
I cannot see the front of. And now it's going
to be a full reveal for me. Oh this is beautiful. Wait,
let me try to guess at what this is and
then you can tell me. I mean, this is concrete
and there's some animal prints in it. Are they raccoon prints?
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Okay? This is on West Broadway and Franklin Street, and
there's a new section of concrete I noticed recently in
Manhattan where I live, and I looked down. I thought
it was raccoon prints in the sidewalk as it as
a dry right, and then I looked up animal prints,
(22:08):
and I believe it's rat.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
It's rat prince. Oh my god, that's terrified. These are huge,
these look yeah? Were they were? They big in person?
Speaker 4 (22:20):
They're about here if you can see what you can see,
they're about this big each one, okay, and there's lighter
ones and there's deeper ones. But because I looked for
raccoon and raccoon has a different like look, and then
I thought maybe squirrel. But squirrel has this dot at
the end of each finger.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
That's the little like paw print, yeah, or the little.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Finger matched rat exactly.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
I hate knowing this so much. This is absolutely dreadful.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Blown up picture of rat Prince.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
I just live in the fantasy of these being raccoon prints.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
I really thought they were raccoon. I mean, there's a
chance you could take it to someone who knows, you know,
rodent footprints better than I do.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Right, But this is the the speculation of a complete amateur.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
I thought, oh, it is a pigeon. It's surely not
a pigeon. Looks like a flux capacitor or something like that. Oh,
I think it's definitely rat.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Meredith. I refuse to believe this. This is why, this
is why concrete is very heavy. It's very It is
almost a quicksand a rat unless I'm and I am
just trying to convince myself so I can look at
this photo without fear. A raccoon is strong enough to
get out of concrete. What concrete? A rat would have
(23:49):
been trapped there, and it would have been a little
rat skeleton sitting there.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
Well, how do we know that didn't happen and they
had to ship away the rat skeleton in the morning.
We don't know. Now, It's just I think it's I
would love to talk to a construction worker because I
wonder if it's sort of a known thing. Hey, don't
let concrete dry by itself overnight because you're gonna get.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
That makes me want to throw up.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
It's right in front of the maman. Do you guys?
Do you know, mam a beautiful cafe that's right there.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
That's I'm not good for the cafe out.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
West Broadway, Franklin, west side of the street, Node east
side of the street.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Did I explain to the listener that this is a
photograph of Prince and concrete. I don't even remember. I
think I was so jolted that I just immediately started
trying to speculate on what I was looking at. But okay,
so this could be rats, and you took this photo.
It's a beautiful photo.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
It's an okay photo. I took it. I was just
marveling at it, wondering what it was. I was like,
is there a raccoon in the city? This is so interesting.
I took a picture, and then I thought you would
love it because I long admired your Instagram, which is
just like photos of trash. And then a caption that
(25:07):
says something like I knew you know, the photographer has
to act fast when he sees inspiration and things like that.
When I captured this shot. I was thinking of you
or whatever it was, and I just thought you would
appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I appreciate it on such a deep level. Despite the
rat thing. That rat is my number one fear. Really,
rats terrify man. I had went in first grade and
then escaped and got rabies and lived in our garage.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
And how do you know it got rabies?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
I mean, I think that's that's a little speculation on
my part. But you know, you get out of the
cage and go live in the garage. I think rabies
are just part of the equation at that point.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
And now, had you bonded with it.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
I guess I had. You know, it was one of
these situations. It was like the peak of Ninja Turtle's fever.
And I asked my mom for a turtle, and for
whatever reason, she thought, no, you can have a You know,
the rat is in the ninja turtles as well. She
thought that was a cleaner pet. She thought she was
afraid of sn't that salmonilla poisoning from the turtle?
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Which how do you get that?
Speaker 3 (26:13):
There must have been some wave of that at some point. Yeah,
I guess if you don't cook it well enough. But
we ended up with the rat name splinter that just
escaped and then lived in the garage.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
White.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
No, even thinking about it now makes me a little sick.
It was brown and truly god bless. I know people
a lot of rat owners love their rats. They apparently
make a decent pet, but absolutely not for me. Just
scares the hell out of me.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
What okay, Because I think I've thought about this, that
we have a bias against you know, animals that are
not as adorable animals, and we find them gross when
they're just as nice as say a.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Squirrel or a rabbit or a rabbit.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
But but you knew a rat. I thought, I thought
maybe maybe it's the betrayal.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
That I think that's really what happened. I think it
was my first heartbreak, it was.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
And so these rat prints remind you of a rat
that only left a sign of itself and then disappeared
from your life.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Went and found a Snickers bar in the garage to
live off of.
Speaker 4 (27:25):
Would ratter live in a garage than what you?
Speaker 3 (27:31):
Yeah? Rats? I mean, I look, I know we are
biased towards cute animals, but rats also have They've got
a lot of crimes in their past. Yeah, just various
diseases that they continue to spread.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Mosquitoes, yeah, those kind of things that carry other things.
It's hard for people to to not have like a
some kind of innate like protect you know, protective thing
that probably goes back to like trying to keep our
our caves clean of deceased back in the day. But
(28:09):
it is I have. But I do think, like I
don't want to know a rat, really, but I kind
of also want to know a rat a little bit
because I also, you know, cross the street when I
am on's sidewalk and a rat runs in front of me,
out like go across the street, or I'll walk down
the center of the street a lot in the middle
of summer in Manhattan because it's just so many rats
(28:30):
everywhere on sides.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
I had an extremely close encounter with the rat when
I was living in New York, like opening the garbage
can in front of the apartment building and the rat
is there, crawls out. I throw the lid of the
garbage can, run inside, shaking. That was the end of
the road for me.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
My biggest rat based fear is it's a summer night,
I'm wearing flip flops and a skirt and it ends
with the rat somehow inside my big china like it
runs up my foot, up my leg, and then just to.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Find the new one has nowhere to go.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
I'm scared of that.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Of course, it's probably happened to someone, I think. I mean,
I think, if I really think, if you can think
of something, it's probably happened.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Yeah. That's like when you see the side of you know,
of a product and it says something insane like don't
don't eat this light bulb or whatever. It's like, so
someone ate the light bulb at one point. Otherwise they
wouldn't have had to put that warning on there.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Exactly. And so that's I'm certain a rat has run
up a vagina.
Speaker 4 (29:39):
At some point, I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
And then what do you do?
Speaker 4 (29:43):
Well, this reminds me of this other story that's very
famous and very interesting, I think in I think it
was England, in I'm gonna say seventeen hundreds or maybe
early eighteen hundreds, but there was a woman who gave
birth to wrap like seventeen rabbits.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
This is a documented thing.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
This is the thing. This is a lady that gave
birth to rabbits and a couple like medical highly respected
medical professionals or scientists of the day like certified it
as this is real. This woman gave birth to rabbit parts,
(30:27):
not full rabbits that were alive rabbit. There was dead rabbit.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Parts, okay, just ears and legs, and I don't know
it just like.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
A bunch of rabbit parts. It's just and it was
certified as like, this is real, this is a this
is a miracle, some crazy anomaly of this person. And
then years later, maybe not, maybe it wasn't years later,
but maybe it was just like one scientist being like,
I don't think so, manah. And they dissected the rabbits
(30:58):
and found grass in their stuff mix. It proved that
the rabbits had lived elsewhere. But so there was this
lady I think her name was my last name is
tough to look her up. Mary top Me, the woman
rabbits birth, the woman who claimed to give birth to rabbits,
(31:19):
Mary Toft. I was close Mary talk yeah, Mary Taft
in eighteenth century anyway, But she did this just.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
To I mean, what other things had she done to
be famous before this?
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Were?
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Like how desperate had she gotten that?
Speaker 4 (31:36):
That's a great question.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Do we have any idea. How many rabbits were up there?
Speaker 4 (31:41):
Yeah, because I've read about it. I actually told someone
about it once at a dinner party, and there was
a woman there who was an artist who makes puppets,
and she made these beautiful puppets of the whole scene.
Woman eventually in some of her art. It was in
(32:03):
the seventeen hundreds, seventeen twenty six. She was twenty four
or twenty five years old, that's anything.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
Her career had fizzled out.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
She was considered an old krone at twenty four and
needed to get desperate.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Ohow many rabbits.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Oh, and it happened over many days, So this is interesting.
So there's a guy named John Howard, who's he? I
think this was the medical professional. He wrote a guy
and said, sir, I don't know if he wrote, since
I wrote you, I have taken or delivered the poor
(32:43):
woman of three more rabbits, all three half grown. Oh
and the last had leaped twenty three hours in the
uterus before it died. Jesus eleven rabbits eleven. As soon
as the eleventh rabbits was taken away, way up leaped
the twelfth rabbit. Rabbit is spelled with an et and
(33:05):
this reason which is now leaping. Oh, I guess some
of them were alive.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
My lord, Oh my Mary Toft, mother of twelve.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
I might just have to make this show absolute about her.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Some of the rabbits were alive. That's incredible, it is.
I mean, it's remarkable that rabbits. I mean, only a
single doctor was able to kind of pipe up and
be like maybe not everyone else was on board.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
This also says she has but ten days more to go,
so I do not know how many rabbits may be behind.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
There could be infinite rabbits within this one.
Speaker 4 (33:44):
My gosh, wonder.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
What happened to her after this?
Speaker 4 (33:47):
What an idiot that this guy believed her?
Speaker 3 (33:52):
Well, probably after the fifth or sixth rabbit, you have
to kind of start believing. Yes, I'd be like, well,
I guess they're in there.
Speaker 4 (33:58):
I guess they're in there.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Keep coming out. Wow. Anyway, I wonder if they were
rabbit babies. Certainly they must have been rabbit babies.
Speaker 4 (34:06):
This rabbits, my guess is this woman found a litterate.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
It's like, oh, I know it, I'll do finally the
opportunity is come. Well, this is a beautiful piece of
art for me. I mean, if I can just kind
of shift my thoughts towards raccoon and these dude, despite
whatever you say, look like they could be raccoon. Pause.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
Look there, I also didn't investigate. There's a chance, I
would say, I'll be at a very small one that
there could be like a chihuahua pauw oh, interesting that
could be thrown in in the mix. But I was
done by how much it matched rat. And then it
made sense to me that it I just imagine the
(34:55):
setting of these guys, like all right, good day's work, guys,
or let's that's just the caution tape around it. Everyone
will respect that.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
And then and then this rat family comes along. Yeah,
so what's the closest encounter you've had with a rat?
Speaker 4 (35:16):
Just many running in front of my feet over and right,
or running under my table, outdoor.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
Diving or something that'll just ruin a day.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
Yeah. And I also have really good like if there's
a term for being a meteorologist about if I will
see rats, I know the temp I can walk outside
and immediately say this is a night where I will
see many rats, or we're safe tonight, we will not
see rats.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
You just standing in front of a green screen pointing
to different parts of the city.
Speaker 4 (35:50):
Yeah. I mean, like, I truly would happily work for
New York One if they need to.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Do a rat We've got a front coming in from
the north. Yeah, exactly, just rats.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
I can just tell. I just know it in my bumps.
I'm always right.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
That's a plague. That's just a plague. You're talking.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
Yeah, maybe.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Well this is beautiful, and I actually do need more
art to hang in my house, so this is perfect.
I have a really hard time deciding what to put
on walls. I'll put this in an area where, like
I know where it'll be and it won't remind me
of rats that often.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
Oh good. Yeah, Or you could also hang it if
you have a garage, you could hang in the garage.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
But I feel like that's calling the rats towards the garage.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
You think they they'll notice themselves.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
It becomes kind of a rat art gallery. Well.
Speaker 4 (36:37):
I tried to frame it as beautifully as I could.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
It's really stunning. It's really just a beautiful photo and
a frame. I mean looks like you just found a
piece of art to send to me, rather than took
a photo of rat pop prints and then send it
to me. It's stunning and people can you know, it's art,
so people can choose to take away what they want,
and I'm taking away it's raccoon pause.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
I'm happy to get behind that.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
If you are that delusion, I think it's time to
play a game. Oh yeah, do you want to play
a game? Actually, let's see. I feel like we should
play a game called Gift or a Curse. It's been a minute.
We're gonna play that game.
Speaker 4 (37:17):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
I need a number between one and ten from you four. Okay.
I have to do some light calculating to get the
game pieces we'll be playing with. So for the time being,
you have the mic. You can promote, you can recommend,
you can do whatever you want. I'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (37:33):
Okay, wait, maybe I'll just talk about Bridger since he's away.
I worked with Bridger on Unbreakable Kimi Schmidt on Netflix,
and he's very, very, very funny, and I've always loved
Bridger and I like that he has a podcast now,
(37:55):
and I love his Instagram where he shows off the
gifts that his guests spring with white gloves but with
like a violent bent. The way he man handles the gifts.
It's very very funny and disturbing and wonderful.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
Meredith, Yeah, that's very sweet. But listener, you should watch
Girls five EVA. That's Meredith. I mean we already spoke
about it, but it's phenomenal.
Speaker 4 (38:23):
Thank you. I would love if people, you know what,
if you don't have Peacock, because you have one hundred
other streamers, I get it. I will say there's a trial,
there should be a week free trial. But even if
you're not willing to do the week free trial, like,
it's five dollars a month, and so if you buy it,
(38:45):
it's like a one cup of coffee. I mean, if
you if you amortize it for like what it would
be per day, it's penny.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Kind of in the way that you're doing with the
bronze statue of Willie exactly.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
I mean, it's much more economical than a bronze.
Speaker 3 (38:58):
It's not eighteen thousand dollars, my dog, but.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
It's the kind of I feel like, if you're gonna
get a streamer, sign up for the free trial and
then forget about it for the rest of your life
and just see it on your credit card all the time.
This is a good one because it's the cheapest one.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
And at least your credit card statement says a bird.
It's this type of bird. You get reminded of all this.
Speaker 4 (39:21):
It seems like you're from an you know, belong to
an autobond society, very sophisticated. So I would I would
say give it a shot. There's also a lot of
other great programming.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
But if you will, okay, enough killing for the Peacock
or girls might have as wonderful. But Meredith secretly is
missus Peacock owner of the Peacock Network. I forgot to
mention that up top, and I apologize. But what are
you going to do? Meredith? This is how gift you
(39:51):
a curse works. I'm gonna name three things and then
you're gonna tell me if they're a gift or a
curse and why. And I'm going to tell you if
you're right or wrong, because there are answers and you
can lose this game in a huge way. Okay, does
that make sense?
Speaker 4 (40:04):
You just break and stomp my gift at the end.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
If I have a baseball bat right off camera here,
I should do that, Okay, first up, So yeah, tell
me if they're a gift to a curse and why
number one This is a listener suggestion, and the listener
declined to be named. I feel like the email pointed
(40:26):
out a particular person whose last name whatever. The listener suggested,
changing the pronunciation of your last name gift to a curse.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
Okay, I'm gonna say gift because guys, all names are
made up, so who's to say what's right? Okay? But
also having worked for Stephen Colbert, half of his family
goes by Colbert.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Oh right, and.
Speaker 4 (40:57):
He's Colbert, so I and I'm and I I'm solidly
in his camp all the time because I love him.
So I will say it's a gift, because that that
name is is exciting, It's wonderful. Do whatever you want
with your name.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
I don't care, Meredith, You're correct, it's absolutely a gift.
I as someone with too deeply confusing first and last name,
I've really come to accept it's all nonsense and I'm
not precious at all about names. Sure, change the pronunciation
of your last name, play with it, have a little fun.
(41:32):
I could become Bridge or whinager Bridge, r winae jaw Bridge,
your Whinaga. I mean, it's a fun, little thing you
can do at any point in your life, and why not?
Names are nonsense. I say, go for it. It's just
two random mixes of letters. Sure, change the pronunciation. I
don't care. Okay, you've got one that's very impressive. Let's
(41:55):
see what how you do. For some reason, this next
listener is also just an anonymous And you know, if
I just forgot to type your name in, don't come
after me. It's not my problem.
Speaker 4 (42:06):
Maybe they're a coward.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Let's just assume this next person, this coward, next coward,
gift or a curse. The County Fair.
Speaker 4 (42:23):
Well, I'm going to say gift. Well, wait, here's the problem.
I've never been to one, so all I know are
the things i've read or seen, you know, news clips
of you know, hey, there's a deep fried butter you
can eat at the Wisconsin State Fair or something like that.
(42:43):
And I guess I might say curse only because I
feel like there's a lot of very unhealthy food and
you know, they you know, there's pigs stuff where I
feel like the pigs meet a terrible and maybe after
they get a blue riven, they don't get.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Spared, right, I think that they go on they win
a home and car. It's kind of a sweepstakes for pigs.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
If it's a sweepstakes for pigs, then it's what was
it was a blessing.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
No gift, get on board.
Speaker 4 (43:25):
It's a gift. But if it's if the pig doesn't
doesn't get like a brand new you know, or something,
I would.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
Say the showcase showdown the curse, Meredith wrong, Oh, County
Fair is a gift. I've never been to one. I've
been to a state fair, which I think is a
little bit. I feel like the state Fair is a
little bit trashier or something. I feel like there's a
lot more concrete involved with the state Fair. There's a
(43:56):
lot of blankets, like fleece blankets with Marilyn Monroe on
them being sold. That is a curse. But the County
Fair seems so quaint. There's the blue ribbon. I feel like,
there's the pie contest. We've got Charlotte spinning spiders webs.
I have to imagine that. I don't think Charlotte was
at the state Fair. That was certainly a county fair.
Speaker 4 (44:17):
You know. I was thinking, you meant state Fair.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
Don't the backpedaling, because.
Speaker 4 (44:24):
You're right, I'm just trying to be a good student
and get a better grade. I'm just trying to work
you right now until you get me or the writing.
Speaker 3 (44:33):
You got it wrong? A gift? It might just be
my imagination, and maybe going to one would change my mind.
But I love the County Fair. I love to think
of the County Fair and Babe.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Well, actually, what did Babe do in the movie. Did
he go to a fair or was he just part
of some sort of pig competition?
Speaker 4 (44:52):
I don't know, but I mean he ends up in
the city at some point.
Speaker 3 (44:55):
I just recently heard that that movie's good. I've heard
Babe Pig in the City is a good movie.
Speaker 4 (45:00):
I'm sure it's a good movie.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
Apparently people love it. I had no idea. No, now
that I'm thinking about it, I feel like Babe helps
round up the other pigs, probably, you.
Speaker 4 (45:12):
Know, in a Ferdinand style way, try to escape.
Speaker 3 (45:18):
The listener is probably furious about me not knowing the
plot of Babe. Forgive me. I remember there being three
mice that sing and that was cute. Okay, so you've
gotten one right and one wrong. Whatever, and now finally
gift or a curse. And this is again from a
listener with a name which is exciting someone named Colby
(45:39):
accidentally replying all gift or a curse.
Speaker 4 (45:42):
Okay, I'm gonna say gift, but I'm gonna say it's
a gift to others. It's usually hilarious what happened, and
it's one of those things. It's just part of life's
you know, humiliation and embarrassment is part of life. An accident.
Hopefully it didn't hurt someone's feelings too much. But I
(46:03):
would say it's a gift to other people who get
to hear the story generally, but it is a curse.
If it happens to you, it's terrible.
Speaker 3 (46:11):
Well you have to pick one or the other. You're
going to say it's a gift.
Speaker 4 (46:13):
I'm gonna go gift.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
You're right, of course, of course. I think even look
in the moment the accidental reply all, what a horrible feeling.
But the truth comes out. The truth was going to
come out at some point anyway. Why not just have it.
Speaker 4 (46:29):
Just lay it out there, you know, Yeah, cold hard truths.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
We should all be replying all all the time. I agree,
reply all from your heart. I feel like sure, it's
probably a horrible and probably has ruined a lot of
lives and has devastated people in all kinds of ways.
But I feel like, yes, I know in my heart
it's a gift. We love to hear about somebody replying
(46:58):
all and embarrassing themselves or pointing out a flaw in
someone else. It's an X ray. It's ultimately an X
ray into the person, and we love it a gift.
Speaker 4 (47:10):
It's an x It's an X ray that reveals the
rabbits inside the ugly truth.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
She replied, all with those rabbits.
Speaker 4 (47:23):
It's trying to dovetail. I don't know that it worked or.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
Very tough. That's a a It's a confusing, muddled callback
that I really appreciate. Actually, Okay, two out of three
not bad, you got a nice sixty six percent people
have done worse. Okay. This is the final segment of
the podcast. This is called I said no emails. People
(47:49):
write into I said no gifts at gmail dot com.
Every one of them has some problem that I end
up dealing with. The guest has to deal with it.
I mean, I say this every time my listeners have
It's actually out of control how many issues people have
surrounding gifts and social situations, but I've solved every one
of them perfectly, So that's good. Will you hope me
answer a question I'd love to. Okay, let me get
(48:13):
intoto the thing here, let's see. Okay, here we go,
deer bridger and extremely disrespectful guest. A week before Mother's Day,
my husband and kids surprised me in advance with two
tickets to see Hamilton. They were all so proud and
totally impressed with themselves with the gift of Broadway. Scratch
that off Broadway, as I live in the Midwest and
(48:34):
any production in Saint Louis is not considered Broadway to me. Okay,
I also know, I mean.
Speaker 4 (48:41):
She's disappointed with the gift because she's like, this is
not quite Broadway. Anyway ahead, this is.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
Very I mean, I'm I'm gonna reserve my thoughts and
opinions for this email to the very end, because my
heart is racing. Let's just say my heart is racing. Okay.
So I also noticed that he spent a ludicrous amount
of money four hundred and fifty dollars through a third
party ticket agency and it was non refundable. Then had
the nerve to say I could take anyone I wanted,
(49:10):
and I was like, I'm not offering a friend a
two hundred and twenty five dollars ticket on a Wednesday
night to an off way Broadway It ran rendition of Hamilton,
like I could have watched this on Disney with the
original Broadway cast. Okay, I made my husband go with me,
and the tickets were second to last row at the top.
We managed to move to lower seats and enjoyed the show.
The dilemma I'm in, So that's not exactly the dilemma. Apparently.
(49:34):
The dilemma I'm in is what do I get this
man for Father's Day? He orders stuff for himself on
the daily from Amazon. It's now boiled down to Cologne.
What can I get a guy who gets everything for himself?
Hints he loves the Saint Louis Cardinals, Saint Louis Blues,
and two button Polos. Thanks in advance for your help, Allen. Okay,
(49:54):
so basically what we've gotten the information about this man
makes him seem like he's a store in the Saint
Louis Airport. But okay, so this person, what are we
talking about. That's a lovely gift that the family gave
her the two.
Speaker 4 (50:08):
Tickets that he hates the gift.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
She absolutely her children and husband script and saved for
months to buy these tickets.
Speaker 4 (50:17):
But she thinks he's very wasteful because because of the surcharge.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
For the She's a Broadway snob.
Speaker 4 (50:24):
She's a Broadway you know, she could have in the
amount of money that they've spent for the surcharge, she
could have gotten the flight. Sounds like alone to New
York is what she really.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
Well, she's going to She's gonna be on a lot
of flights alone. Keeps acting like this.
Speaker 4 (50:38):
I mean, I feel like if she doesn't know what
to get him and he has everything, maybe divorce.
Speaker 3 (50:42):
Paper kind of on like a Cardinals stationary. Maybe a
Cardinals station Do they ever do theme stationary for divorce papers?
That's a business I could get into Sharks today. I
bring to you my business.
Speaker 4 (50:58):
Uh, just to sort of lighten it up a little,
you know, But it's on your favorite team stationary.
Speaker 3 (51:09):
You can't be mad.
Speaker 4 (51:10):
You can't be mad. You get to keep the stationary.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
This is basically like going to the game. Okay, first
of all, well, I think I've already said first of
all a bunch of times, But I've just had a
lot of first of all opinions about did I even
say it's from Ellen Ellen the Broadway? This is a
Broadway tour. These are good performers. That's a world class show.
Speaker 4 (51:31):
Yeah, yeah, let's not spit on them.
Speaker 3 (51:33):
Yeah, I'm sure it was a fantastic show. And you've
just got a horrible attitude.
Speaker 4 (51:37):
I think that. Okay, I think it's hard when you
have expectations for present generally, you know, right, I don't
know if she had expectations for an amazing present or not.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
It sounds like she did, but I do think.
Speaker 4 (51:55):
It's always if you do, you're almost always let.
Speaker 3 (51:58):
Down, Yes, because it's supposed to be a surprise, so
it shouldn't be your expectations, right.
Speaker 5 (52:05):
Maybe it's the fact that maybe the surcharge something about
that is making me think because I recently just bought
tickets to see Into the Woods and I had to
spend a lot more on stub hub together.
Speaker 4 (52:18):
Because I did it last minute kind of not last minute,
but like it was also a short run. But so
maybe they were immediately, you know, all bought up immediately,
and they were all always like that. But there's a
chance that maybe was bothering her is that he bought
it probably the night before Mother's Day, and so there
was a laugh.
Speaker 3 (52:38):
Oh, if you had thought about.
Speaker 4 (52:41):
Me, maybe that could be behind it, because it really
because if you had really planned and thought and you know,
put a lot of effort in it, there might not
have been that big surcharge.
Speaker 3 (52:55):
Right, And then that makes perfect sense.
Speaker 4 (52:58):
It would have felt like he considered hern more so,
maybe she's just feeling taken granted. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (53:04):
No, I think you've gotten right to the heart of this.
And it makes me think that Ellen is a ticket
saleswoman and she works at the box office and she's
pissed that he didn't go to her, and she sees
these third party apps or whatever kind of coming for
her job and it was a sore spot for her.
Speaker 4 (53:20):
It is.
Speaker 3 (53:21):
And meanwhile, she's in a husband with three interests, one
which is two button polos. I don't even know what
that means. Is that is there a polo with three
tons of buttons?
Speaker 4 (53:31):
And that is that considered to be like a whores.
Speaker 3 (53:35):
Polo, a whole collection of horlo.
Speaker 4 (53:42):
Third button, it goes down to four inches still above
the nipples.
Speaker 3 (53:51):
I have a polo that goes to the groin.
Speaker 4 (53:56):
I mean, that's just a button down, but it does
connect with the.
Speaker 3 (54:00):
Yeah, it's just a tiny to put him on over
your head. It's that j Loo dress she was wearing
officially a polo to the Grammys in two thousand and two.
That's a I believe that was a fifty button polo.
Speaker 4 (54:17):
Well, you know what, maybe maybe Ellen, because I feel
like you have issues about the present because he got
you don't like the president. So maybe if he's a
Cardinals fan, you should get him ticket the worst seats
to a Cardinals game in the worst.
Speaker 3 (54:34):
Town, that's way in the last minute. And away game,
you know, like three grand on this stick. Yeah, away
game you buy him twenty minutes before the scalper really
gets you a cash. Yeah, and then see how he feels.
See how Dave feels about that.
Speaker 4 (54:50):
I will say, whenever you're playing some kind of experiment
with the other person, it never works. They don't notice,
Like he'll just be like, thanks, honey, I love it.
And you're doing all this.
Speaker 3 (55:03):
Work, You're doing all this math in your brain thinking
it's going to have this amazing Well, it's because you're dealing.
I mean, in this situation, Ellen's dealing with somebody the
husband who woke up from a nap the night before
Mother's Day and remembered and just got on stub Hub
and bought these expensive tickets to a show that neither
of them actually wanted to see. So it's kind of
(55:24):
this marriage is crumbling.
Speaker 4 (55:26):
Yeah, I mean I don't think it's beyond repair, but
I think it. Yeah, there's an attitude adjustment.
Speaker 3 (55:34):
Yeah, they're at the point where the couple's therapists is
no longer like gung ho about saving and it's a
little bit more speaking carefully about how this could end.
That's just how I'm getting the I mean, Ellen reached
out obviously to the right right source with this podcast,
and she's gotten all of the advice that she could
possibly use.
Speaker 4 (55:53):
I could talk about this for another hour, though I was.
Speaker 3 (55:56):
Saying, Ellen gave us a lot to unpack. I mean,
I could have just read the first half of that
email and said, Ellen, it's time to respect these performers.
Speaker 4 (56:06):
I also think I will say, and like my partner Andrew,
he's bought me some terrible presents because he waits the
last minute. I also am the last minute person. But
I think that I'm somehow, I think I still pull
it out and get something really good.
Speaker 3 (56:22):
You just think you're that.
Speaker 4 (56:23):
Sometimes sometimes he'll it'll be like Christmas Eve, and he'll
run out and then come back with a collection of
odd items that clearly came from one store.
Speaker 3 (56:35):
Like it's pleasure.
Speaker 4 (56:38):
Like on Christmas, I'll open this thing and it's like, oh,
this is an eighty dollars Japanese wash claw, Like, okay, great,
it's beautiful. I don't read this, but thank you. I
know you panicked. I know you panicked.
Speaker 3 (56:56):
Just write a thoughtful card at that point, I know.
Speaker 4 (56:59):
Yeah, So I don't know. I would give I would
give this guy a.
Speaker 3 (57:02):
Pass, give him one pass if you end up at
Hamilton again next year. This is a pattern, and uh,
it's time to start thinking about it. I mean, maybe
next year he takes you to New York. I mean,
maybe he hears this podcast and it devastates him and
he knows that he's on borrowed time.
Speaker 4 (57:23):
Right, Maybe you can tell what the direction his efforts
are going if you just keep getting progressively one row
closer to the stage.
Speaker 3 (57:34):
With every mother, until eventually he's King George. He's singing
right into your eyes Oh, he gets down and asks
you to marry him again. It's so romantic. I mean this,
this could go in a lot of directions for Ellen
and Dave, and we wish him the best.
Speaker 4 (57:53):
Yes, I wish them. I wish you guys the best.
Speaker 3 (57:57):
Merredith, we answered the question perfectly on of our idea
of levels. It was a perfect answer, hopefully. Yeah, perfect answer.
And I'm sure the listeners are going a bunch of
listeners are having this exact problem. Now they can apply
that advice to their own lives. And uh, it could
lead to a divorce epidemic for all we know.
Speaker 4 (58:16):
Love if you and I became sort of ethicists, right, Uh, yeah,
of course we fielded questions.
Speaker 3 (58:26):
We should have a like that Radio Collin show.
Speaker 4 (58:30):
Yes, that would be great.
Speaker 3 (58:31):
I mean this is just the beginning of that. I
can only feel it coming. And Ellen, thank you for
reaching out. Your problem has been solved. And Meredith, now
I have a beautiful piece of art to hang in
my home.
Speaker 4 (58:46):
Can I see it?
Speaker 3 (58:47):
Of course? Have you not seen it yet?
Speaker 4 (58:48):
I haven't seen it because I I well, I mean
I've seen the photo, but I didn't see what it
ended up looking like. Let's see that Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
looks great.
Speaker 3 (59:03):
It's very sweet.
Speaker 4 (59:05):
It is sweet.
Speaker 3 (59:06):
That rat or raccoon maybe dead, but it left its
mark on the greatest city in the world.
Speaker 4 (59:13):
It's sort of like, you know, it's Hollywood Walk of
Fame or whatever you put her. Had a whole little ceremony.
Speaker 3 (59:23):
It paid the twenty five thousand dollars fee and entertainment tonight.
Speaker 4 (59:27):
Was there, Rat, Nancy O'Dell is there? Rat Billy Bush
is there?
Speaker 3 (59:36):
Billy Bush will do anything. Oh, I've just had a
wonderful time with you here. This is just being spectacular,
and I thank you for sending this lovely gift.
Speaker 4 (59:49):
Hey, oh so you turned around. You're not mad at
me anymore.
Speaker 3 (59:53):
I'm you know, we got through, we went through a
variety of things. We basically got married and divorced with
Aaron's email, Ellen's email, and I feel like this is
something I'm going to cherish.
Speaker 4 (01:00:03):
So maybe what Ellen, Maybe Ellen being hating her presence
so much made you appreciate the act of gift giving
that I gave you that gift, So it made me
I calculated the whole bit.
Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
All right, Well, thank you, and listener, this is the
end of the podcasts. What do you want me to
call them?
Speaker 4 (01:00:32):
I just like that it maybe is just one person.
Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
There's a single person sitting in a quiet booth somewhere
in the Midwest. Oh yes, I forgot Thank you. That's
aspirational for me for someone to listen to this while
on a boat. If you do listen to it on
a boat, please reach out. Let the world know that
you're listening to a podcast while at sea or at lake,
or at pond, whatever it takes.
Speaker 4 (01:00:58):
Or at boat store.
Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
Or a boat show or at boat show. We can't
can't out the boat show audience. We would love to.
I would love to do a boat show. I will
do a live show from a boat show. I can
be in you know, kind of a ski boat recording
with my guests. So that's a new goal.
Speaker 4 (01:01:21):
First sound, you'd have to keep the tarbomb and be.
Speaker 3 (01:01:24):
Underneath just telling everyone to shut up all the times
turned down.
Speaker 4 (01:01:28):
That public domain rock music that you're blasting from the
new Chaparral thirty eight foot bow Rider.
Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
That's something we're all going to look forward to in
the future. I said no gifts at the boat show,
but until then, the show is over, the podcast is done.
You've spent an hour or so with us today, and
I hope you've had the time of your life. And
I hope that this energy can continue for at least
another few minutes during your day before things go set
and you are in a terrible mood. We'll talk again
(01:02:04):
next week. I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts
is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear
friend Analise Nelson, and it's beautifully mixed by John Bradley.
The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle
worker Amy Mannon. You must follow the show on Instagram
(01:02:27):
at I said no gifts. I don't want to hear
any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of
all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want
to see pictures of the gifts.
Speaker 4 (01:02:37):
I invite?
Speaker 2 (01:02:37):
Did you hear? Though? A man? Myself perfectly clear? But
you're a guess, Tom.
Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
You gotta come to me empty And I said no gifts.
Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
Your presences presence and
Speaker 1 (01:03:00):
Already had too much stuff, So how do you dare
to surbey me?
But I invited you here thought I made myself perfectly clear.
When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come
to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your presences
(00:29):
presents enough, and.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I already had too much stuff. So how did you
dare to surbey me?
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Winecker. Oh.
I hope you're looking and feeling your best. I hope
you're having a nice day. I know what you're doing
wondering recently if anyone's ever listened to this podcast on
a boat, If you're on a boat, that would be exciting.
I can't imagine what circumstances would bring you to listening
(01:09):
to any podcast on a boat. I've recently been camping,
So if you feel, you know, like a slight shift
towards a more rugged feel of this podcast, that's where
that's coming from, and that will just continue. That's kind
of a permanent part of my personality. Now I've camped
for the first time in fifteen years, and now we're
(01:31):
going to get into the podcast. I cannot wait for
today's episode. I adore today's guest, just a wonderful person.
It's Meredith Scartino. Meredith, welcome to I said, no gifts.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Oh, thank you for having me. This is very exciting.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Do you camp.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
I've been camping. I like camping when there's an expert around.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
M hmmm, someone who can guide the activity.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
And someone who I feel confident is aware of the
local wildlife and how to deal with them. Like, I'm
very brave near an expert.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Well, it's easy to have award.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
Yes, but I'm a coward around just people I know
or my family, you know, Like if I'll go if
I'll just go out with friends, I'll be like, well,
you don't know how to deal with a bear. You
don't know you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Well, you can't just wander into the woods with a
group of non experts.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Yeah, I like an expert. I love an.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Expert as the bear the biggest fear for you in
the woods.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
It's funny you say that, because well, I love bears,
and I've read a lot about bears, and I've watched
a lot about bears. But one time I went camping
in I think it was Mount Washington up in New Hampshire,
and I was with Andrew and his friend Sam. We
went to who we all went to college together and
(02:55):
we were camping at a place. We were at a
campsite and it was pouring down rain, like lightning storm,
and we were in a field and so I was
just like, we shouldn't be in this field. We're gonna die.
And then they were just you know, just drinking some
whiskey and being like we're fine. There's higher things that
(03:16):
will get hit by lightning first, and I was like, no,
we need to get to the car. So then I
was scared of that. But then after the thunderstorm ended,
then I was scared of bears. And then after it
like became light out and I was no longer scared bears.
For whatever reason, I was scared of bears at night.
(03:37):
Then I was like, what if I have a heart
attack out here? So it's like there's like a higher fear.
Like ever one fear would be evaded, like the next
one would slot in like a like a vending machine
that's you know, dolling out freedom. There's like another thing
behind it.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
There are like fifty other things that could happen to
you during camping before the heart attack should be the fear.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
That's true. Yeah, Now I just didn't think of those,
and I don't know what I would have been worried
about after the heart attack. That was the last one,
and I was like, huh, I guess just my status
quo is being a little bit scared of.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Something looming, just ruinings everyone's fun on the camp. My
biggest fear, I think, outside of animals, is falling into
the fire.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Oh really, I never worry about that.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
You don't. I always feel like I'm I'm a little
too reckless around the fire, and I'm clumsy and I
feel like the loose dirt and all of this, I'm
going to end up in a fire at some point.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Oh that's interesting. That'd be really scary. Do you think
it has anything to do with being a redhead? Like
you already see your hairs sort of fire.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
This elemental thing that's part of my genetic maker. The
fire is calling to me.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Yeah, you're drawn, So maybe you're scared because you're drawn
to it.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Every time I'm around the fire, I hear whispers have
come home, come home. I don't know that scares me.
Running out of water scares me, yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
But I feel like, yes, running out of water is
very scary, But I feel like you've got three days
before you.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
You would, that's true, and.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Then you've got like about twenty one I believe for
hunger twenty one.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
That's so wild to me that you can go twenty
one full days. I got food eight hours and I'm screaming.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Yeah, I know, I agree.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
What does day fifteen feel like?
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Maybe by day fifteen there's sort of like a weird
plateau where you're like, oh, maybe I never need food again,
and then you're like, no, I very much need food.
I don't know, hope they never get in that situation.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
So is Mount Washington the last camping trip you took?
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Do you count like a safari?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah, that's a good question. I was in a ten
that feels like camping to me, I feel like camping
is it feels like something you have to do in America.
Then if you're if you're an attend in another country,
you've got to have a different word for How.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Do you know my safari was outside of America?
Speaker 3 (06:07):
You took a new Jafari in Colorado?
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:12):
You know, I like, I've gone camping in Montana, like
on horseback with my dad.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
You know this is you were in a rodeo.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
That's yeah, and it was very fun. And that was
surrounded by experts, so oh, I loved it.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
A team of X that was That was what I like.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
To be surrounded by a team of expend experts at
all times. And then I'm the most I'm so brave,
I'm so relaxed. I'm having the best time the lack
of experts. I love hiking.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
I I adore it. Do you hike often?
Speaker 4 (06:48):
We went on probably two and a half or three
mile hike the other day.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
And do you take Willy?
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Yeah, Lilly is an Willy is my sty spaniel. She's
tending one of.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
The most beautiful women in the world.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
She's so gorgeous. She makes me feel like a pig
like I. I walk around with her and I almost
feel like she's embarrassed to be seen with me. She's
so stunningly beautiful. She just looks like she should be
on it on a Ralph Lauren like embroidered pillow at
all times, or painted she's in here will like marrick.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Oh my god, this is such a treat. This is
one of my favorite dogs on the planet feet. Her
hair looks so deeply conditioned, just looks like she's wearing
a wig at all times.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
I made a video of her one time where she's
working at a desk and is mistaken for a beautiful,
enchanting woman from behind. Yes, and then she turns around.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Occasionally it's a little like excuse me, miss, and then
it turns around and it's a dog, right.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
And it was set to the song Who's That Lady? Who?
By the way, I keep putting it back on my Instagram,
and I keep getting noticed that like Sony has pulled
it down a copyright infringement. And every time, every time
there's because there's a button that says would you like
to protest this or something like that. Every single time
I write, I press it and I go listen. I
(08:14):
think that the artist who sang who Who's That Lady
will agree there's no other song that correctly encapsulates the
setting where my dog is mistaken for a beautiful woman
from behind. I'm sure the artist will grant me permission. Please,
I will see you in court. I'm happy to state
(08:34):
my case. And I just keep doing that every few months,
and I've done it like six times in the.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Past five years. You're gonna get banned from Instagram. I
sure that's the who sings who's that lady? Wait?
Speaker 4 (08:47):
I got to look it up because I care look
it up right now.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, it's one of those songs that everyone knows, but
nobody quite knows who sings it.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Oh it's the Isley Brothers.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Oh it is.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yeah, So maybe it would be an issue where like
one brother would say yes, and then the other brother.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
There's the family.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
No, we need money, we need the money. They she
can't use it for free. I don't know, there's more than.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
The cover of it. I feel like if we could
find a decent cover that could work.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
But then, I mean, aren't there also issues with you
have to, you know, pay the artists if you want
to cover their song, but maybe not on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
I'm posting songs on Instagram completely without a band, and
sometimes they get turned off. You know, it'll turn out
that the song, they don't have the rights to play
the song online in like Peru or something. It's very
odd international copyrights, but it's the Internet. What are you
gonna do?
Speaker 4 (09:37):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Who knew that the Isley Brothers were so litigious?
Speaker 4 (09:41):
I don't know. I mean I think it's just Sony Blanketly,
you know, having their box try to block me.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
They're deprivate.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
I don't think I truly believe the Isley Brothers would
be would side with me.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Isley Brothers, at least one of you is listening to
this podcast on a boat. Reach out to Meredith, get
in touch with Sony whoever's in charge of Sony, and
let's get the song. Yeah, it's a beautiful video.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
There's upwards of nine viewers that are on the line.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
People need to see this video of a dog in
a desk chair.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
And she's working. There's one part in the video where
it zooms in on what she's working on, and she's
got a file open called the Paris account because she's
very sophisticated, and it just zooms in and it just
has like fine bridges and perfumes, so enchanting.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Will you send me this video and I'll try to
post it to Instagram?
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (10:43):
When will you post about this episode with pleasure? Because
people are going to be screaming about I need to
see this video. We may have to do it without
the song who knows it's.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Or we'll just fight the court case together. It's actually
in a folder in my phone called Important Videos for Life.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Oh, how is Willy doing in general.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
She's good, she just went to the bed, she just
got her check out, no worms or anything like. She's
ten ten she is. And it's hard. It's pretty hard imagining,
you know. I hate the idea of how life spans
don't line up the dog and the human. I want
(11:30):
to find a way to make her live forever in
some way. Like I thought about trying to contact a
small town to see if I could send a bronze
sculpture her to the center of town, and then I
actually contacted It's sound crazy. I contacted a sculptor to
(11:51):
see how much it would cost to create a life
size replica for kind of like a Baldo in Central Park,
but of Willy. And it just would have some flack.
That's it's like, not famous, but just one of the
greatest dogs, one of America's top doggies. And it was
something really expensive, like eight or nine thousand dollars.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
And oh good lord.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
I thought, well, if I were gonna ever do something
like that, I would or raise money to do something
like that. I would have to like match it or
something and give, you know, to a charity because it's
just so indulgent.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
I feel like yeah, the amount of dogs that could
be saved for nine I know, but I think you
do the nine thousand dollars statue, you put it in
front of a rescue and donate nine thousand dollars to
the rescue. All and you're in eighteen thousand dollars. But
then kind of the guilt goes away and it kind
of makes sense. Willy's out there in front of a rescue. Yeah,
(12:50):
people are saying, who's that lady?
Speaker 4 (12:51):
Who is that lady? That beautiful lady.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
I don't know. I think it's something to worth, It's
something worth thinking about, and you think about, like how much,
over the course of the rest of your life each day,
how much that would cost? What is it?
Speaker 4 (13:06):
In some ways that means I know the day that
I die, and I don't know that I can calculate faster.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Do you know?
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Are you aware of the day?
Speaker 3 (13:16):
I mean, my goal is to live to one hundred
and fifteen and then have my nieces pushed me out
of a plane.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
I have thought about that. You know, when you're you're
above ninety or something, that's kind of the time to
try weird drugs that I never did, a heroin on it,
to jump out of a plane, you know that kind
of I don't know that I will.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Yeah. I feel like you get to ninety and it's like,
what is there's truly nothing left to lose? Why not
give all these other things a shot? Yeah, just go
for it rather than just kind of sit in front
of the TV or whatever. Just start to really experiment
with your body.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Yeah. Or my other plan was like, I'll just because
I don't watch a lot of Law and Order, but
there's a lot of them. I'm like, I'll just watch
Law and Order until I die.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Like fact, just have a constant stream in your home. Yeah,
just have it over like speakers in the kitchens, and
there's just no moment when it's not part of your
a television in every single room. It's not a bad idea,
bad idea. What else has been going on?
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Oh? I don't know. I mean, we just finish season
two of Girls five EVA on Peacock Dropping weekly.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Incredible show. Thank you, Thank you, one of the funniest
shows on television. Are you doing anything fun, anything exciting
because you've been working probably NonStop for the last year.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
Yeah, I'm going I am going fishing in Maine.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Yeah, I haven't been fishing. I don't. I don't know
that fishing's for me. I'm just going to really admit
that to myself right now.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Yeah, it's kind of meditative in a way to be
out like if you're fly fishing and waiters and stuff
and being in the middle of a beautiful just like
a really beautiful place. It's just like kind of a
way to be with nature and then rip its mouth
like an asshole.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
I love to stand in a river or a body
of water, so I guess I could just do that.
You could do that, get waiters and just kind of
go stand in various streams.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
And river standing for the weekend.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
My grandpa would take me out standing.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
He was an expert standard standing since he was oh
since he was two, since he could stand out, be
with standing.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Oh, I've got my standing hat on, I've got my
standing poles.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Walking into sports outfitter and being like, where's your standing
section rather standing here?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Oh well, I mean, look, we've got to talk about
something else. We have to talk about something else. Obviously,
I was looking forward to having Meredith's Gardino on my podcast.
I thought, I a door Meredith. We haven't seen each
other in years. We're going to catch up. We'll have
(16:24):
a nice time and then we'll move on. Maybe we'll
you know, see each other whatever. So I was, you know,
I was a little surprised the podcast it's called I
said no gifts which are fully aware of emails have
been exchanged. The podcast name is just out there. I
opened the front door and there was a large box
(16:46):
waiting for me. They've been shipped to me. This is
please handle with care. Glass on it has said some
other things that I don't want to might give it
away to the listener. What could possibly be happening in
this box? And so we'll just look Meredith, this is
a gift for me.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
It is a gift for you.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Okay, good, fine? Uh do you want me to open
it here on the show? Would you like me to
save it for later?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
No, I would love for you to open it. I
know you don't want gifts, but I'm just so. I'm
a I'm a classy lady first and I lead with class.
And since you had you hosted me on the podcast,
it's really a host host gift.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Okay, lead with class.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
I lead with class. Anyone who knows me knows that
I leave with class.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
That's the only thing that anyone can certainly say about
Meredith Scardino as you always lead with.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Class, elegance. Sometimes it's elegance, but right now it's class.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Okay, well, I'm happy to open it here. I've got
my new box cutter. We'll just open this next to
the mic. We love the click, We love the click.
This is so dangerous. This is gonna director little.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Thing that keeps your peas from popping.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Yes, it's like this is a little screen. This is
in front of the microphone. We're getting behind the mic.
We're clicking, and we're gonna get open. Get the box
open here. I actually have to get off mic here
to open this boxes. This may be the largest box
that's ever been sent to this podcast.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
So can I get a look at it?
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Yeah, I'm gonna put the box cutter down. Safety first,
I'm gonna have to stand to show.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
You this Bigger than I thought.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
It takes up my entire seating area, so it's hard.
I'm now kind of away from the microphone holding the box.
Maybe I'll do it from here so we can kind
of commentate. I'm going to Oh, I'm cutting towards myself.
I this safety this podcast. I'm really headed for a
worker's comp type situation. I don't know if I'm covered
(19:06):
by workers comp. And this box cutter is doing very
little work. Okay, here we go, we've got it. We're
putting away the box cutter. We're ripping, ripping into the box.
Oh I strength. Okay, now I'm putting it back on
the ground. I'm away from the mic. Listener, don't panic,
I'm now continuing. The box cutter didn't do enough work
(19:28):
for me. I've got to go back off Mike.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
He's working really hard.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Oh, I should say, listener, it was kind of a
large brown box, so just kind of visualize that in
your mind, a shipping box. Okay, we've gotten to the
second layer here. Now we've got a bubble wrap.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Do you leave all of this in?
Speaker 3 (19:51):
We hope to leave as much as possible. The listener
loves to hear an adult man just kind of slowly
open a box. Of course, ten minutes.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Do you get panicked knowing how much you know you
have to vamp for seeing how many layers?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
No, I find an absolute thrill. I mean, this box
cutter came to me and look now, the listeners like
I thought the gift was being opened, and now he's
just stopping. But there was an episode recently with weird
Al he had sent I think it was so difficult
for me to open without a box cutter that some
listener found a mutual friend of ours and sent me
(20:28):
this box cutter to help the situation out. But now
the box cutter has only led to more conversation about
the boxes getting open. So it's not really it's not
cutting down any time.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
I gotta listen to the weird Olt one we've got to.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
I mean that has maybe half of that episode is
me just struggling to open the box. It's probably not
fair to anyone. Okay, we're opening, We're opening. We've got
some bubble wrap. We might try to pop a few.
Oh that's that's very satisfying. Okay, this is as many
(21:06):
textures as you could get wrapping an item. We've had hard,
we've had bubble we've had Now we've got kind of
a listen to this. This is a fully artist's paradise.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
Oh, we're starting to see something.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
We are starting to get to. I've got the back
of it, so it looks like a framed object which
I cannot see the front of. And now it's going
to be a full reveal for me. Oh this is beautiful. Wait,
let me try to guess at what this is and
then you can tell me. I mean, this is concrete
and there's some animal prints in it. Are they raccoon prints?
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Okay? This is on West Broadway and Franklin Street, and
there's a new section of concrete I noticed recently in
Manhattan where I live, and I looked down. I thought
it was raccoon prints in the sidewalk as it as
a dry right, and then I looked up animal prints,
(22:08):
and I believe it's rat.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
It's rat prince. Oh my god, that's terrified. These are huge,
these look yeah? Were they were? They big in person?
Speaker 4 (22:20):
They're about here if you can see what you can see,
they're about this big each one, okay, and there's lighter
ones and there's deeper ones. But because I looked for
raccoon and raccoon has a different like look, and then
I thought maybe squirrel. But squirrel has this dot at
the end of each finger.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
That's the little like paw print, yeah, or the little.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Finger matched rat exactly.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
I hate knowing this so much. This is absolutely dreadful.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Blown up picture of rat Prince.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
I just live in the fantasy of these being raccoon prints.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
I really thought they were raccoon. I mean, there's a
chance you could take it to someone who knows, you know,
rodent footprints better than I do.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Right, But this is the the speculation of a complete amateur.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
I thought, oh, it is a pigeon. It's surely not
a pigeon. Looks like a flux capacitor or something like that. Oh,
I think it's definitely rat.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Meredith. I refuse to believe this. This is why, this
is why concrete is very heavy. It's very It is
almost a quicksand a rat unless I'm and I am
just trying to convince myself so I can look at
this photo without fear. A raccoon is strong enough to
get out of concrete. What concrete? A rat would have
(23:49):
been trapped there, and it would have been a little
rat skeleton sitting there.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
Well, how do we know that didn't happen and they
had to ship away the rat skeleton in the morning.
We don't know. Now, It's just I think it's I
would love to talk to a construction worker because I
wonder if it's sort of a known thing. Hey, don't
let concrete dry by itself overnight because you're gonna get.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
That makes me want to throw up.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
It's right in front of the maman. Do you guys?
Do you know, mam a beautiful cafe that's right there.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
That's I'm not good for the cafe out.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
West Broadway, Franklin, west side of the street, Node east
side of the street.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Did I explain to the listener that this is a
photograph of Prince and concrete. I don't even remember. I
think I was so jolted that I just immediately started
trying to speculate on what I was looking at. But okay,
so this could be rats, and you took this photo.
It's a beautiful photo.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
It's an okay photo. I took it. I was just
marveling at it, wondering what it was. I was like,
is there a raccoon in the city? This is so interesting.
I took a picture, and then I thought you would
love it because I long admired your Instagram, which is
just like photos of trash. And then a caption that
(25:07):
says something like I knew you know, the photographer has
to act fast when he sees inspiration and things like that.
When I captured this shot. I was thinking of you
or whatever it was, and I just thought you would
appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I appreciate it on such a deep level. Despite the
rat thing. That rat is my number one fear. Really,
rats terrify man. I had went in first grade and
then escaped and got rabies and lived in our garage.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
And how do you know it got rabies?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
I mean, I think that's that's a little speculation on
my part. But you know, you get out of the
cage and go live in the garage. I think rabies
are just part of the equation at that point.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
And now, had you bonded with it.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
I guess I had. You know, it was one of
these situations. It was like the peak of Ninja Turtle's fever.
And I asked my mom for a turtle, and for
whatever reason, she thought, no, you can have a You know,
the rat is in the ninja turtles as well. She
thought that was a cleaner pet. She thought she was
afraid of sn't that salmonilla poisoning from the turtle?
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Which how do you get that?
Speaker 3 (26:13):
There must have been some wave of that at some point. Yeah,
I guess if you don't cook it well enough. But
we ended up with the rat name splinter that just
escaped and then lived in the garage.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
White.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
No, even thinking about it now makes me a little sick.
It was brown and truly god bless. I know people
a lot of rat owners love their rats. They apparently
make a decent pet, but absolutely not for me. Just
scares the hell out of me.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
What okay, Because I think I've thought about this, that
we have a bias against you know, animals that are
not as adorable animals, and we find them gross when
they're just as nice as say a.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Squirrel or a rabbit or a rabbit.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
But but you knew a rat. I thought, I thought
maybe maybe it's the betrayal.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
That I think that's really what happened. I think it
was my first heartbreak, it was.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
And so these rat prints remind you of a rat
that only left a sign of itself and then disappeared
from your life.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Went and found a Snickers bar in the garage to
live off of.
Speaker 4 (27:25):
Would ratter live in a garage than what you?
Speaker 3 (27:31):
Yeah? Rats? I mean, I look, I know we are
biased towards cute animals, but rats also have They've got
a lot of crimes in their past. Yeah, just various
diseases that they continue to spread.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Mosquitoes, yeah, those kind of things that carry other things.
It's hard for people to to not have like a
some kind of innate like protect you know, protective thing
that probably goes back to like trying to keep our
our caves clean of deceased back in the day. But
(28:09):
it is I have. But I do think, like I
don't want to know a rat, really, but I kind
of also want to know a rat a little bit
because I also, you know, cross the street when I
am on's sidewalk and a rat runs in front of me,
out like go across the street, or I'll walk down
the center of the street a lot in the middle
of summer in Manhattan because it's just so many rats
(28:30):
everywhere on sides.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
I had an extremely close encounter with the rat when
I was living in New York, like opening the garbage
can in front of the apartment building and the rat
is there, crawls out. I throw the lid of the
garbage can, run inside, shaking. That was the end of
the road for me.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
My biggest rat based fear is it's a summer night,
I'm wearing flip flops and a skirt and it ends
with the rat somehow inside my big china like it
runs up my foot, up my leg, and then just to.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Find the new one has nowhere to go.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
I'm scared of that.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Of course, it's probably happened to someone, I think. I mean,
I think, if I really think, if you can think
of something, it's probably happened.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Yeah. That's like when you see the side of you know,
of a product and it says something insane like don't
don't eat this light bulb or whatever. It's like, so
someone ate the light bulb at one point. Otherwise they
wouldn't have had to put that warning on there.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Exactly. And so that's I'm certain a rat has run
up a vagina.
Speaker 4 (29:39):
At some point, I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
And then what do you do?
Speaker 4 (29:43):
Well, this reminds me of this other story that's very
famous and very interesting, I think in I think it
was England, in I'm gonna say seventeen hundreds or maybe
early eighteen hundreds, but there was a woman who gave
birth to wrap like seventeen rabbits.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
This is a documented thing.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
This is the thing. This is a lady that gave
birth to rabbits and a couple like medical highly respected
medical professionals or scientists of the day like certified it
as this is real. This woman gave birth to rabbit parts,
(30:27):
not full rabbits that were alive rabbit. There was dead rabbit.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Parts, okay, just ears and legs, and I don't know
it just like.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
A bunch of rabbit parts. It's just and it was
certified as like, this is real, this is a this
is a miracle, some crazy anomaly of this person. And
then years later, maybe not, maybe it wasn't years later,
but maybe it was just like one scientist being like,
I don't think so, manah. And they dissected the rabbits
(30:58):
and found grass in their stuff mix. It proved that
the rabbits had lived elsewhere. But so there was this
lady I think her name was my last name is
tough to look her up. Mary top Me, the woman
rabbits birth, the woman who claimed to give birth to rabbits,
(31:19):
Mary Toft. I was close Mary talk yeah, Mary Taft
in eighteenth century anyway, But she did this just.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
To I mean, what other things had she done to
be famous before this?
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Were?
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Like how desperate had she gotten that?
Speaker 4 (31:36):
That's a great question.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Do we have any idea. How many rabbits were up there?
Speaker 4 (31:41):
Yeah, because I've read about it. I actually told someone
about it once at a dinner party, and there was
a woman there who was an artist who makes puppets,
and she made these beautiful puppets of the whole scene.
Woman eventually in some of her art. It was in
(32:03):
the seventeen hundreds, seventeen twenty six. She was twenty four
or twenty five years old, that's anything.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
Her career had fizzled out.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
She was considered an old krone at twenty four and
needed to get desperate.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Ohow many rabbits.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Oh, and it happened over many days, So this is interesting.
So there's a guy named John Howard, who's he? I
think this was the medical professional. He wrote a guy
and said, sir, I don't know if he wrote, since
I wrote you, I have taken or delivered the poor
(32:43):
woman of three more rabbits, all three half grown. Oh
and the last had leaped twenty three hours in the
uterus before it died. Jesus eleven rabbits eleven. As soon
as the eleventh rabbits was taken away, way up leaped
the twelfth rabbit. Rabbit is spelled with an et and
(33:05):
this reason which is now leaping. Oh, I guess some
of them were alive.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
My lord, Oh my Mary Toft, mother of twelve.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
I might just have to make this show absolute about her.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Some of the rabbits were alive. That's incredible, it is.
I mean, it's remarkable that rabbits. I mean, only a
single doctor was able to kind of pipe up and
be like maybe not everyone else was on board.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
This also says she has but ten days more to go,
so I do not know how many rabbits may be behind.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
There could be infinite rabbits within this one.
Speaker 4 (33:44):
My gosh, wonder.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
What happened to her after this?
Speaker 4 (33:47):
What an idiot that this guy believed her?
Speaker 3 (33:52):
Well, probably after the fifth or sixth rabbit, you have
to kind of start believing. Yes, I'd be like, well,
I guess they're in there.
Speaker 4 (33:58):
I guess they're in there.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Keep coming out. Wow. Anyway, I wonder if they were
rabbit babies. Certainly they must have been rabbit babies.
Speaker 4 (34:06):
This rabbits, my guess is this woman found a litterate.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
It's like, oh, I know it, I'll do finally the
opportunity is come. Well, this is a beautiful piece of
art for me. I mean, if I can just kind
of shift my thoughts towards raccoon and these dude, despite
whatever you say, look like they could be raccoon. Pause.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
Look there, I also didn't investigate. There's a chance, I
would say, I'll be at a very small one that
there could be like a chihuahua pauw oh, interesting that
could be thrown in in the mix. But I was
done by how much it matched rat. And then it
made sense to me that it I just imagine the
(34:55):
setting of these guys, like all right, good day's work, guys,
or let's that's just the caution tape around it. Everyone
will respect that.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
And then and then this rat family comes along. Yeah,
so what's the closest encounter you've had with a rat?
Speaker 4 (35:16):
Just many running in front of my feet over and right,
or running under my table, outdoor.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
Diving or something that'll just ruin a day.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
Yeah. And I also have really good like if there's
a term for being a meteorologist about if I will
see rats, I know the temp I can walk outside
and immediately say this is a night where I will
see many rats, or we're safe tonight, we will not
see rats.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
You just standing in front of a green screen pointing
to different parts of the city.
Speaker 4 (35:50):
Yeah. I mean, like, I truly would happily work for
New York One if they need to.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Do a rat We've got a front coming in from
the north. Yeah, exactly, just rats.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
I can just tell. I just know it in my bumps.
I'm always right.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
That's a plague. That's just a plague. You're talking.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
Yeah, maybe.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Well this is beautiful, and I actually do need more
art to hang in my house, so this is perfect.
I have a really hard time deciding what to put
on walls. I'll put this in an area where, like
I know where it'll be and it won't remind me
of rats that often.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
Oh good. Yeah, Or you could also hang it if
you have a garage, you could hang in the garage.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
But I feel like that's calling the rats towards the garage.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
You think they they'll notice themselves.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
It becomes kind of a rat art gallery. Well.
Speaker 4 (36:37):
I tried to frame it as beautifully as I could.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
It's really stunning. It's really just a beautiful photo and
a frame. I mean looks like you just found a
piece of art to send to me, rather than took
a photo of rat pop prints and then send it
to me. It's stunning and people can you know, it's art,
so people can choose to take away what they want,
and I'm taking away it's raccoon pause.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
I'm happy to get behind that.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
If you are that delusion, I think it's time to
play a game. Oh yeah, do you want to play
a game? Actually, let's see. I feel like we should
play a game called Gift or a Curse. It's been a minute.
We're gonna play that game.
Speaker 4 (37:17):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
I need a number between one and ten from you four. Okay.
I have to do some light calculating to get the
game pieces we'll be playing with. So for the time being,
you have the mic. You can promote, you can recommend,
you can do whatever you want. I'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (37:33):
Okay, wait, maybe I'll just talk about Bridger since he's away.
I worked with Bridger on Unbreakable Kimi Schmidt on Netflix,
and he's very, very, very funny, and I've always loved
Bridger and I like that he has a podcast now,
(37:55):
and I love his Instagram where he shows off the
gifts that his guests spring with white gloves but with
like a violent bent. The way he man handles the gifts.
It's very very funny and disturbing and wonderful.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
Meredith, Yeah, that's very sweet. But listener, you should watch
Girls five EVA. That's Meredith. I mean we already spoke
about it, but it's phenomenal.
Speaker 4 (38:23):
Thank you. I would love if people, you know what,
if you don't have Peacock, because you have one hundred
other streamers, I get it. I will say there's a trial,
there should be a week free trial. But even if
you're not willing to do the week free trial, like,
it's five dollars a month, and so if you buy it,
(38:45):
it's like a one cup of coffee. I mean, if
you if you amortize it for like what it would
be per day, it's penny.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Kind of in the way that you're doing with the
bronze statue of Willie exactly.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
I mean, it's much more economical than a bronze.
Speaker 3 (38:58):
It's not eighteen thousand dollars, my dog, but.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
It's the kind of I feel like, if you're gonna
get a streamer, sign up for the free trial and
then forget about it for the rest of your life
and just see it on your credit card all the time.
This is a good one because it's the cheapest one.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
And at least your credit card statement says a bird.
It's this type of bird. You get reminded of all this.
Speaker 4 (39:21):
It seems like you're from an you know, belong to
an autobond society, very sophisticated. So I would I would
say give it a shot. There's also a lot of
other great programming.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
But if you will, okay, enough killing for the Peacock
or girls might have as wonderful. But Meredith secretly is
missus Peacock owner of the Peacock Network. I forgot to
mention that up top, and I apologize. But what are
you going to do? Meredith? This is how gift you
(39:51):
a curse works. I'm gonna name three things and then
you're gonna tell me if they're a gift or a
curse and why. And I'm going to tell you if
you're right or wrong, because there are answers and you
can lose this game in a huge way. Okay, does
that make sense?
Speaker 4 (40:04):
You just break and stomp my gift at the end.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
If I have a baseball bat right off camera here,
I should do that, Okay, first up, So yeah, tell
me if they're a gift to a curse and why
number one This is a listener suggestion, and the listener
declined to be named. I feel like the email pointed
(40:26):
out a particular person whose last name whatever. The listener suggested,
changing the pronunciation of your last name gift to a curse.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
Okay, I'm gonna say gift because guys, all names are
made up, so who's to say what's right? Okay? But
also having worked for Stephen Colbert, half of his family
goes by Colbert.
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Oh right, and.
Speaker 4 (40:57):
He's Colbert, so I and I'm and I I'm solidly
in his camp all the time because I love him.
So I will say it's a gift, because that that
name is is exciting, It's wonderful. Do whatever you want
with your name.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
I don't care, Meredith, You're correct, it's absolutely a gift.
I as someone with too deeply confusing first and last name,
I've really come to accept it's all nonsense and I'm
not precious at all about names. Sure, change the pronunciation
of your last name, play with it, have a little fun.
(41:32):
I could become Bridge or whinager Bridge, r winae jaw Bridge,
your Whinaga. I mean, it's a fun, little thing you
can do at any point in your life, and why not?
Names are nonsense. I say, go for it. It's just
two random mixes of letters. Sure, change the pronunciation. I
don't care. Okay, you've got one that's very impressive. Let's
(41:55):
see what how you do. For some reason, this next
listener is also just an anonymous And you know, if
I just forgot to type your name in, don't come
after me. It's not my problem.
Speaker 4 (42:06):
Maybe they're a coward.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Let's just assume this next person, this coward, next coward,
gift or a curse. The County Fair.
Speaker 4 (42:23):
Well, I'm going to say gift. Well, wait, here's the problem.
I've never been to one, so all I know are
the things i've read or seen, you know, news clips
of you know, hey, there's a deep fried butter you
can eat at the Wisconsin State Fair or something like that.
(42:43):
And I guess I might say curse only because I
feel like there's a lot of very unhealthy food and
you know, they you know, there's pigs stuff where I
feel like the pigs meet a terrible and maybe after
they get a blue riven, they don't get.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Spared, right, I think that they go on they win
a home and car. It's kind of a sweepstakes for pigs.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
If it's a sweepstakes for pigs, then it's what was
it was a blessing.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
No gift, get on board.
Speaker 4 (43:25):
It's a gift. But if it's if the pig doesn't
doesn't get like a brand new you know, or something,
I would.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
Say the showcase showdown the curse, Meredith wrong, Oh, County
Fair is a gift. I've never been to one. I've
been to a state fair, which I think is a
little bit. I feel like the state Fair is a
little bit trashier or something. I feel like there's a
lot more concrete involved with the state Fair. There's a
(43:56):
lot of blankets, like fleece blankets with Marilyn Monroe on
them being sold. That is a curse. But the County
Fair seems so quaint. There's the blue ribbon. I feel like,
there's the pie contest. We've got Charlotte spinning spiders webs.
I have to imagine that. I don't think Charlotte was
at the state Fair. That was certainly a county fair.
Speaker 4 (44:17):
You know. I was thinking, you meant state Fair.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
Don't the backpedaling, because.
Speaker 4 (44:24):
You're right, I'm just trying to be a good student
and get a better grade. I'm just trying to work
you right now until you get me or the writing.
Speaker 3 (44:33):
You got it wrong? A gift? It might just be
my imagination, and maybe going to one would change my mind.
But I love the County Fair. I love to think
of the County Fair and Babe.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Well, actually, what did Babe do in the movie. Did
he go to a fair or was he just part
of some sort of pig competition?
Speaker 4 (44:52):
I don't know, but I mean he ends up in
the city at some point.
Speaker 3 (44:55):
I just recently heard that that movie's good. I've heard
Babe Pig in the City is a good movie.
Speaker 4 (45:00):
I'm sure it's a good movie.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
Apparently people love it. I had no idea. No, now
that I'm thinking about it, I feel like Babe helps
round up the other pigs, probably, you.
Speaker 4 (45:12):
Know, in a Ferdinand style way, try to escape.
Speaker 3 (45:18):
The listener is probably furious about me not knowing the
plot of Babe. Forgive me. I remember there being three
mice that sing and that was cute. Okay, so you've
gotten one right and one wrong. Whatever, and now finally
gift or a curse. And this is again from a
listener with a name which is exciting someone named Colby
(45:39):
accidentally replying all gift or a curse.
Speaker 4 (45:42):
Okay, I'm gonna say gift, but I'm gonna say it's
a gift to others. It's usually hilarious what happened, and
it's one of those things. It's just part of life's
you know, humiliation and embarrassment is part of life. An accident.
Hopefully it didn't hurt someone's feelings too much. But I
(46:03):
would say it's a gift to other people who get
to hear the story generally, but it is a curse.
If it happens to you, it's terrible.
Speaker 3 (46:11):
Well you have to pick one or the other. You're
going to say it's a gift.
Speaker 4 (46:13):
I'm gonna go gift.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
You're right, of course, of course. I think even look
in the moment the accidental reply all, what a horrible feeling.
But the truth comes out. The truth was going to
come out at some point anyway. Why not just have it.
Speaker 4 (46:29):
Just lay it out there, you know, Yeah, cold hard truths.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
We should all be replying all all the time. I agree,
reply all from your heart. I feel like sure, it's
probably a horrible and probably has ruined a lot of
lives and has devastated people in all kinds of ways.
But I feel like, yes, I know in my heart
it's a gift. We love to hear about somebody replying
(46:58):
all and embarrassing themselves or pointing out a flaw in
someone else. It's an X ray. It's ultimately an X
ray into the person, and we love it a gift.
Speaker 4 (47:10):
It's an x It's an X ray that reveals the
rabbits inside the ugly truth.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
She replied, all with those rabbits.
Speaker 4 (47:23):
It's trying to dovetail. I don't know that it worked or.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
Very tough. That's a a It's a confusing, muddled callback
that I really appreciate. Actually, Okay, two out of three
not bad, you got a nice sixty six percent people
have done worse. Okay. This is the final segment of
the podcast. This is called I said no emails. People
(47:49):
write into I said no gifts at gmail dot com.
Every one of them has some problem that I end
up dealing with. The guest has to deal with it.
I mean, I say this every time my listeners have
It's actually out of control how many issues people have
surrounding gifts and social situations, but I've solved every one
of them perfectly, So that's good. Will you hope me
answer a question I'd love to. Okay, let me get
(48:13):
intoto the thing here, let's see. Okay, here we go,
deer bridger and extremely disrespectful guest. A week before Mother's Day,
my husband and kids surprised me in advance with two
tickets to see Hamilton. They were all so proud and
totally impressed with themselves with the gift of Broadway. Scratch
that off Broadway, as I live in the Midwest and
(48:34):
any production in Saint Louis is not considered Broadway to me. Okay,
I also know, I mean.
Speaker 4 (48:41):
She's disappointed with the gift because she's like, this is
not quite Broadway. Anyway ahead, this is.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
Very I mean, I'm I'm gonna reserve my thoughts and
opinions for this email to the very end, because my
heart is racing. Let's just say my heart is racing. Okay.
So I also noticed that he spent a ludicrous amount
of money four hundred and fifty dollars through a third
party ticket agency and it was non refundable. Then had
the nerve to say I could take anyone I wanted,
(49:10):
and I was like, I'm not offering a friend a
two hundred and twenty five dollars ticket on a Wednesday
night to an off way Broadway It ran rendition of Hamilton,
like I could have watched this on Disney with the
original Broadway cast. Okay, I made my husband go with me,
and the tickets were second to last row at the top.
We managed to move to lower seats and enjoyed the show.
The dilemma I'm in, So that's not exactly the dilemma. Apparently.
(49:34):
The dilemma I'm in is what do I get this
man for Father's Day? He orders stuff for himself on
the daily from Amazon. It's now boiled down to Cologne.
What can I get a guy who gets everything for himself?
Hints he loves the Saint Louis Cardinals, Saint Louis Blues,
and two button Polos. Thanks in advance for your help, Allen. Okay,
(49:54):
so basically what we've gotten the information about this man
makes him seem like he's a store in the Saint
Louis Airport. But okay, so this person, what are we
talking about. That's a lovely gift that the family gave
her the two.
Speaker 4 (50:08):
Tickets that he hates the gift.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
She absolutely her children and husband script and saved for
months to buy these tickets.
Speaker 4 (50:17):
But she thinks he's very wasteful because because of the surcharge.
Speaker 3 (50:22):
For the She's a Broadway snob.
Speaker 4 (50:24):
She's a Broadway you know, she could have in the
amount of money that they've spent for the surcharge, she
could have gotten the flight. Sounds like alone to New
York is what she really.
Speaker 3 (50:34):
Well, she's going to She's gonna be on a lot
of flights alone. Keeps acting like this.
Speaker 4 (50:38):
I mean, I feel like if she doesn't know what
to get him and he has everything, maybe divorce.
Speaker 3 (50:42):
Paper kind of on like a Cardinals stationary. Maybe a
Cardinals station Do they ever do theme stationary for divorce papers?
That's a business I could get into Sharks today. I
bring to you my business.
Speaker 4 (50:58):
Uh, just to sort of lighten it up a little,
you know, But it's on your favorite team stationary.
Speaker 3 (51:09):
You can't be mad.
Speaker 4 (51:10):
You can't be mad. You get to keep the stationary.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
This is basically like going to the game. Okay, first
of all, well, I think I've already said first of
all a bunch of times, But I've just had a
lot of first of all opinions about did I even
say it's from Ellen Ellen the Broadway? This is a
Broadway tour. These are good performers. That's a world class show.
Speaker 4 (51:31):
Yeah, yeah, let's not spit on them.
Speaker 3 (51:33):
Yeah, I'm sure it was a fantastic show. And you've
just got a horrible attitude.
Speaker 4 (51:37):
I think that. Okay, I think it's hard when you
have expectations for present generally, you know, right, I don't
know if she had expectations for an amazing present or not.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
It sounds like she did, but I do think.
Speaker 4 (51:55):
It's always if you do, you're almost always let.
Speaker 3 (51:58):
Down, Yes, because it's supposed to be a surprise, so
it shouldn't be your expectations, right.
Speaker 5 (52:05):
Maybe it's the fact that maybe the surcharge something about
that is making me think because I recently just bought
tickets to see Into the Woods and I had to
spend a lot more on stub hub together.
Speaker 4 (52:18):
Because I did it last minute kind of not last minute,
but like it was also a short run. But so
maybe they were immediately, you know, all bought up immediately,
and they were all always like that. But there's a
chance that maybe was bothering her is that he bought
it probably the night before Mother's Day, and so there
was a laugh.
Speaker 3 (52:38):
Oh, if you had thought about.
Speaker 4 (52:41):
Me, maybe that could be behind it, because it really
because if you had really planned and thought and you know,
put a lot of effort in it, there might not
have been that big surcharge.
Speaker 3 (52:55):
Right, And then that makes perfect sense.
Speaker 4 (52:58):
It would have felt like he considered hern more so,
maybe she's just feeling taken granted. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (53:04):
No, I think you've gotten right to the heart of this.
And it makes me think that Ellen is a ticket
saleswoman and she works at the box office and she's
pissed that he didn't go to her, and she sees
these third party apps or whatever kind of coming for
her job and it was a sore spot for her.
Speaker 4 (53:20):
It is.
Speaker 3 (53:21):
And meanwhile, she's in a husband with three interests, one
which is two button polos. I don't even know what
that means. Is that is there a polo with three
tons of buttons?
Speaker 4 (53:31):
And that is that considered to be like a whores.
Speaker 3 (53:35):
Polo, a whole collection of horlo.
Speaker 4 (53:42):
Third button, it goes down to four inches still above
the nipples.
Speaker 3 (53:51):
I have a polo that goes to the groin.
Speaker 4 (53:56):
I mean, that's just a button down, but it does
connect with the.
Speaker 3 (54:00):
Yeah, it's just a tiny to put him on over
your head. It's that j Loo dress she was wearing
officially a polo to the Grammys in two thousand and two.
That's a I believe that was a fifty button polo.
Speaker 4 (54:17):
Well, you know what, maybe maybe Ellen, because I feel
like you have issues about the present because he got
you don't like the president. So maybe if he's a
Cardinals fan, you should get him ticket the worst seats
to a Cardinals game in the worst.
Speaker 3 (54:34):
Town, that's way in the last minute. And away game,
you know, like three grand on this stick. Yeah, away
game you buy him twenty minutes before the scalper really
gets you a cash. Yeah, and then see how he feels.
See how Dave feels about that.
Speaker 4 (54:50):
I will say, whenever you're playing some kind of experiment
with the other person, it never works. They don't notice,
Like he'll just be like, thanks, honey, I love it.
And you're doing all this.
Speaker 3 (55:03):
Work, You're doing all this math in your brain thinking
it's going to have this amazing Well, it's because you're dealing.
I mean, in this situation, Ellen's dealing with somebody the
husband who woke up from a nap the night before
Mother's Day and remembered and just got on stub Hub
and bought these expensive tickets to a show that neither
of them actually wanted to see. So it's kind of
(55:24):
this marriage is crumbling.
Speaker 4 (55:26):
Yeah, I mean I don't think it's beyond repair, but
I think it. Yeah, there's an attitude adjustment.
Speaker 3 (55:34):
Yeah, they're at the point where the couple's therapists is
no longer like gung ho about saving and it's a
little bit more speaking carefully about how this could end.
That's just how I'm getting the I mean, Ellen reached
out obviously to the right right source with this podcast,
and she's gotten all of the advice that she could
possibly use.
Speaker 4 (55:53):
I could talk about this for another hour, though I was.
Speaker 3 (55:56):
Saying, Ellen gave us a lot to unpack. I mean,
I could have just read the first half of that
email and said, Ellen, it's time to respect these performers.
Speaker 4 (56:06):
I also think I will say, and like my partner Andrew,
he's bought me some terrible presents because he waits the
last minute. I also am the last minute person. But
I think that I'm somehow, I think I still pull
it out and get something really good.
Speaker 3 (56:22):
You just think you're that.
Speaker 4 (56:23):
Sometimes sometimes he'll it'll be like Christmas Eve, and he'll
run out and then come back with a collection of
odd items that clearly came from one store.
Speaker 3 (56:35):
Like it's pleasure.
Speaker 4 (56:38):
Like on Christmas, I'll open this thing and it's like, oh,
this is an eighty dollars Japanese wash claw, Like, okay, great,
it's beautiful. I don't read this, but thank you. I
know you panicked. I know you panicked.
Speaker 3 (56:56):
Just write a thoughtful card at that point, I know.
Speaker 4 (56:59):
Yeah, So I don't know. I would give I would
give this guy a.
Speaker 3 (57:02):
Pass, give him one pass if you end up at
Hamilton again next year. This is a pattern, and uh,
it's time to start thinking about it. I mean, maybe
next year he takes you to New York. I mean,
maybe he hears this podcast and it devastates him and
he knows that he's on borrowed time.
Speaker 4 (57:23):
Right, Maybe you can tell what the direction his efforts
are going if you just keep getting progressively one row
closer to the stage.
Speaker 3 (57:34):
With every mother, until eventually he's King George. He's singing
right into your eyes Oh, he gets down and asks
you to marry him again. It's so romantic. I mean this,
this could go in a lot of directions for Ellen
and Dave, and we wish him the best.
Speaker 4 (57:53):
Yes, I wish them. I wish you guys the best.
Speaker 3 (57:57):
Merredith, we answered the question perfectly on of our idea
of levels. It was a perfect answer, hopefully. Yeah, perfect answer.
And I'm sure the listeners are going a bunch of
listeners are having this exact problem. Now they can apply
that advice to their own lives. And uh, it could
lead to a divorce epidemic for all we know.
Speaker 4 (58:16):
Love if you and I became sort of ethicists, right, Uh, yeah,
of course we fielded questions.
Speaker 3 (58:26):
We should have a like that Radio Collin show.
Speaker 4 (58:30):
Yes, that would be great.
Speaker 3 (58:31):
I mean this is just the beginning of that. I
can only feel it coming. And Ellen, thank you for
reaching out. Your problem has been solved. And Meredith, now
I have a beautiful piece of art to hang in
my home.
Speaker 4 (58:46):
Can I see it?
Speaker 3 (58:47):
Of course? Have you not seen it yet?
Speaker 4 (58:48):
I haven't seen it because I I well, I mean
I've seen the photo, but I didn't see what it
ended up looking like. Let's see that Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
looks great.
Speaker 3 (59:03):
It's very sweet.
Speaker 4 (59:05):
It is sweet.
Speaker 3 (59:06):
That rat or raccoon maybe dead, but it left its
mark on the greatest city in the world.
Speaker 4 (59:13):
It's sort of like, you know, it's Hollywood Walk of
Fame or whatever you put her. Had a whole little ceremony.
Speaker 3 (59:23):
It paid the twenty five thousand dollars fee and entertainment tonight.
Speaker 4 (59:27):
Was there, Rat, Nancy O'Dell is there? Rat Billy Bush
is there?
Speaker 3 (59:36):
Billy Bush will do anything. Oh, I've just had a
wonderful time with you here. This is just being spectacular,
and I thank you for sending this lovely gift.
Speaker 4 (59:49):
Hey, oh so you turned around. You're not mad at
me anymore.
Speaker 3 (59:53):
I'm you know, we got through, we went through a
variety of things. We basically got married and divorced with
Aaron's email, Ellen's email, and I feel like this is
something I'm going to cherish.
Speaker 4 (01:00:03):
So maybe what Ellen, Maybe Ellen being hating her presence
so much made you appreciate the act of gift giving
that I gave you that gift, So it made me
I calculated the whole bit.
Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
All right, Well, thank you, and listener, this is the
end of the podcasts. What do you want me to
call them?
Speaker 4 (01:00:32):
I just like that it maybe is just one person.
Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
There's a single person sitting in a quiet booth somewhere
in the Midwest. Oh yes, I forgot Thank you. That's
aspirational for me for someone to listen to this while
on a boat. If you do listen to it on
a boat, please reach out. Let the world know that
you're listening to a podcast while at sea or at lake,
or at pond, whatever it takes.
Speaker 4 (01:00:58):
Or at boat store.
Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
Or a boat show or at boat show. We can't
can't out the boat show audience. We would love to.
I would love to do a boat show. I will
do a live show from a boat show. I can
be in you know, kind of a ski boat recording
with my guests. So that's a new goal.
Speaker 4 (01:01:21):
First sound, you'd have to keep the tarbomb and be.
Speaker 3 (01:01:24):
Underneath just telling everyone to shut up all the times
turned down.
Speaker 4 (01:01:28):
That public domain rock music that you're blasting from the
new Chaparral thirty eight foot bow Rider.
Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
That's something we're all going to look forward to in
the future. I said no gifts at the boat show,
but until then, the show is over, the podcast is done.
You've spent an hour or so with us today, and
I hope you've had the time of your life. And
I hope that this energy can continue for at least
another few minutes during your day before things go set
and you are in a terrible mood. We'll talk again
(01:02:04):
next week. I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts
is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear
friend Analise Nelson, and it's beautifully mixed by John Bradley.
The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle
worker Amy Mannon. You must follow the show on Instagram
(01:02:27):
at I said no gifts. I don't want to hear
any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of
all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want
to see pictures of the gifts.
Speaker 4 (01:02:37):
I invite?
Speaker 2 (01:02:37):
Did you hear? Though? A man? Myself perfectly clear? But
you're a guess, Tom.
Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
You gotta come to me empty And I said no gifts.
Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
Your presences presence and
Speaker 1 (01:03:00):
Already had too much stuff, So how do you dare
to surbey me?
Host
Bridger Winegar
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