Tim Kalpakis Disobeys Bridger

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
And I invited you here. I thought I made myself
perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you
gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests,
you're our presences. Presents enough.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
I already had too much stuff, So how do you
dare to surbey me?

Speaker 3 (00:49):
Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Wineger. We
are here in the studio. I'm in the throes of
jet I know you know last week's episode I complained
about jet lag, but that was actually recorded yesterday. Does
this make sense? So we've recorded two in a row.

(01:11):
I hate to shatter the illusion that the podcast isn't
coming to you live, but there's I don't even know
what I'm saying. I slept for an hour last night,
and I feel insane. I'm kicking things over. I just
kicked something over. You can't see that. No one can
see that except for me. But I wanted to drag
you through all of this. What's good? What's happening. I've

(01:34):
got a new parking lot at the studio. They've really
done the works with this thing. All the bells and whistles,
beautiful new paint job. I don't know if they'd put
new asphalt or not, but it smells like new asphalt,
and so it was exciting to park and get out
of my car. I was found coffee this morning. I
thought I saw a mildly famous person that I think

(01:57):
it was just some loser. So it wasn't even a
famous person, but if it was, I would say who
I thought it was. But then what if it was
her and I just thought she was a loser. I'm
so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. We
should get into the episode. I love today's guest. It's
Tim Kalpaca's Tim. Welcome to I said, no gifts.

Speaker 4 (02:19):
Thank you, thanks for having me. And I did clock
the new asphalt in park?

Speaker 3 (02:23):
Did you smell it?

Speaker 4 (02:24):
I like, I've never been here before. But I pulled in.
I was like, well, well, well, my.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
God, slipping and sliding on that thing.

Speaker 4 (02:32):
Yeah, I know, my god, splashing all over the place,
but I did. It's so funny, like subconsciously was just like,
it's really nice to be in a brand new parking lot.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
There is something nice about it's just smooth. You know,
you're not going to be tripping, You're not gonna be
driving through any potholes. It just feels Chris, And yesterday
that wasn't the case. I had to park on the street,
and everybody felt how mad I.

Speaker 4 (02:55):
Was about that. Yeah, the street, which is actually like
a closer walk into the studio because the door's right there.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
But it was actually probably an easier way to park altogether.
But you know, the principle of it was imperial.

Speaker 4 (03:08):
You host the show, I host the show. I was
surprised that there isn't a name plate back there. You know,
this is a free for all. My god, it's a mess.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
It's complete chaos. I feel like I'm just some random employee.
It's disgusting. What am I a production assist?

Speaker 4 (03:25):
Awful? I'm on the mic.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
Here I should be, you know, I should know exactly
where I'm parking.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
Were you ever a production assistant?

Speaker 3 (03:32):
It was for a really long time, for longer than
I should have been.

Speaker 4 (03:35):
Well, I was. I was four years at one place.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Four years as well.

Speaker 4 (03:38):
No. Yes, mine was a Gracie Films, which does the Simpsons.
So I was like James L. Brooks's PA.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
Wow, that's kind of an impressive PA position.

Speaker 4 (03:47):
Yeah, but you're supposed to do it for like one
year and then become a second assistant, and then first assistant,
and then you know, like be a producer.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
Right, it feels like you're like a really delayed puberty
or something where you're just like, oh, everybody else got
out of it.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
And they started toward the end they hinted to me like,
if you're not getting promoted, you're kind of supposed to quit,
you know. So they're like, Timmy kind of been here
a long time, what do you want to do career wise?
It's like, pa, I guess what was holding you back? Well,
it was a really easy job, and I loved I
was doing like UCB every night with my sketch group
of birthday boys, So I kind of wanted to just

(04:21):
do nothing all day and then go to UCB. So
I wasn't putting in the type of effort that gets
you promoted. But I certainly wasn't gonna leave because I
had such an easy job. So I posted up for
four years. But I remember like in the end of
the four years, I was like, I've been here as
long as I was in college.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
Yeah, it starts to get to a really bad feeling.
I mean I got I got to the point where
I was like, oh, I was literally looking up jobs
in Salt Lake City again. I was like, oh, I
guess I just I failed. I have to go home
right now. I did my time, but I think part
of it was I didn't within the place I was.
I did not want to be promoted because I felt
like it would become even more of a prison, and

(04:58):
so I just thought, well, I just get to be
online all days, just on the internet, screwing around and
like the first hour of the day's work and then
it's just whatever I want for the next seven hours.
Why wouldn't I just keep doing this horrible thing?

Speaker 4 (05:11):
And it's weird then when you don't have that job
anymore and it's like the middle of a weekday and
you're not working, but you're just scrolling the internet as well,
and you're like, oh, I used to get paid to
this and get like free lunch from tender Greens.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
Yes, oh, tender Greens. That's a business I'd like to
run out of town.

Speaker 4 (05:28):
I feel like I liked it when it was free
for lunch, but I could never pay for it. That
like Sweet Green, Mendosino Farms, all the salad places in
LA they just taste like office food that should be free,
so I would never be able to pay money for
those Yeah, you cut.

Speaker 3 (05:41):
When I'm at one of those places, now I feel like, oh,
I'm being ripped off. I'm like, what, this feels unnatural
that I'm giving them my money.

Speaker 4 (05:49):
You know, I'm used to getting this for free. Is
there something we could work out? Does James Oldbrooks know
about this?

Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah? I wonder. I don't know how I would feel
about any of those places if I hadn't worked in
an office that had just given it to me prior
to it, right, I mean I do. I can speak
to Mendocino. I remember being there when they first opened,
before it became an office food, and I remember thinking
this is good. But now it tastes like food stuff,
you know, like it feels like the idea of food.

Speaker 4 (06:18):
Right, And especially because they're trying to lean into a
farm to table vibe, that makes it even worse because
because I don't believe, well, I've never been in Mendocino
to look at their farms, so I don't know. But
I mean, it's the same thing with Lacroix. I can't
buy Lacroix.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Oh my god, can you imagine?

Speaker 4 (06:33):
Now? I buy Perier Laurente.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
Oh yeah, he's at work.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
It's like I'll have a thousand Lacroix and won't appreciate
them whatsoever.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
Actually I will now. I feel like kind of a
fraud because I do buy Lacroix now, but that's only
because we record this show sometimes in my backyard.

Speaker 4 (06:51):
I was hoping for a backyard.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
Why didn't you say something.

Speaker 4 (06:55):
I just didn't have the balls. I was just stewing
for yourself. I'll be honest. I didn't look until I
was like leaving home today. I looked at the email
and put in the address, and I was like, oh,
this is not okay. What are we doing on a Lisha's.

Speaker 3 (07:10):
There's some sort of bird noise we can play over
the headphones or a helicopter. Children screaming, school bells, dump trucks, home,
neighbor's fighting, cats, meowing. I think those are the typical
sounds we hear.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
In the back of Yeah, loud.

Speaker 3 (07:28):
Outside of the screaming, we'll put in post. I want
to hear all of those at once, just alarming sounds.
Although I had a friend messaged me last night at
the wonderful Katie Fishal to let me know that she
started listening to the podcast to fall asleep, but she

(07:50):
said it's because she's Uh, there's like a sweet spot
of podcasts she can listen to where she's engaged enough,
but they don't make alarming noises. But if we could
get some alarming noises for her now, just to wake
her up in the middle of the night to teach
her a lesson, that would be important.

Speaker 4 (08:06):
Have you listened to any of the calm like the
it's podcasts that put you to sleep on purpose. No,
they're like short stories that are rambly and repetitive. Oh
that sounds great. Yeah, it's like I did. I did
a free trial and it worked, and then I was like,
I don't know if we're gonna.

Speaker 3 (08:21):
It's a pay thing.

Speaker 4 (08:22):
I'm not doing that.

Speaker 3 (08:23):
I can find plenty of boring podcasts to listen to.

Speaker 4 (08:27):
Oh you know, it was a good pay thing. I
another free trial that I decided recently. There is like
a romance like like erotica romance podcast work. I'm forgetting
what it's called, but it's like it's it's like for women,
and it's like first person guys talking to you, like, hmm,

(08:48):
I just bought this tuxedo. It's nice to see you
at this gala. Would you like to step aside into
a side room? And like I was just I was curious,
like what are cause it's it's not like super graphic,
but it captures the imagination that it's like a guy.
The one I listened to that the character was an
art thief. He is, so he's like wooing a lady

(09:11):
but then also stealing art. But I guess that's the
ultimate fantasy. He's a gentleman thief. Yeah, exactly, what's more like?
And like he has good taste and art, you know,
he's a part of like society.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
Yeah wow, but he's still a rogue.

Speaker 4 (09:26):
He's the bad boy of the art scene.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
That's a I mean, this is I feel like there's
a good knockoff podcast of that called dream Date that's
like puts you to sleep, but it's also your dream date.

Speaker 4 (09:36):
Yeah, and then you have a wet dream like.

Speaker 3 (09:41):
No, wow, I'd like to listen to that. That sounds engaging.

Speaker 4 (09:48):
I'll send it to you. And I mean, if that
free trial had not ended, I would be I would
be all over it. It was very good.

Speaker 3 (09:57):
This is a podcast I think I don't I'm bringing
this up in comparison to that. But this podcast that
I love called Rumble Strip, which this woman does out
of Vermont, and she just talks to local Vermont residents
and that's a very good, good one to fall asleep to, wow,
because it's pleasant.

Speaker 4 (10:12):
She's just talking to people in a quiet voice.

Speaker 3 (10:16):
And I don't even know why I bring that up,
probably because I'm so out of my mind.

Speaker 4 (10:22):
Well, it is it intentionally? Like does she know she's
making just a soothing thing or is it supposed to be?
Like I'm a local Vermont and these are the issues.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
I think it's both. I think she knows that. It's
like I think when you call a thing rumble strip,
isn't a rumble strip but the resign to wake you
up up?

Speaker 4 (10:38):
Yeah? So are there loud sounds?

Speaker 3 (10:40):
Eventually she just has like an airhorn in the middle
of wake up. No, that's a good question. But uh,
I again, I don't know why I bring it up.
And that's fine.

Speaker 4 (10:53):
I'm trying to find the logic what I'm here to
promote projects.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
I'm trying to think of any recent pre trials that
I've ripped off, you know, because I never sign up
for a thing knowing that I'm actually going to pay
for it. Occasionally they'll get me and then I'll complain
and get my money back. I recently lied to a
coffee service because I had forgotten to cancel it and
then didn't and they charged me, and so I kind

(11:20):
of blamed them how I emailed them and said, I
thought I had canceled this and I'm going to be
out of town.

Speaker 4 (11:27):
And that worked. They're like, oh, you thought that. We
realized you had thought that.

Speaker 3 (11:32):
I couldn't believe that it had worked.

Speaker 5 (11:34):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (11:34):
It felt very like twenty fifteen customer service, when a
lot of these online companies really would do whatever you
wanted them to. And now I feel like they've kind
of locked things up where you can't complain. I'll complain
to people now and they'll be like, tough luck. I
had an Uber ride like a couple of months ago
where I felt legitimately in danger and I complained to

(11:57):
them and they gave me nothing.

Speaker 4 (12:01):
What was the legitimate danger?

Speaker 3 (12:02):
The guy was out of his mind. She was screaming
at everybody we had. He took only surface streets back
from Lax. He was cutting through parking lots. He was
just doing a lot of weird stuff where I was like,
this doesn't seem normal, and the app kept trying to
get him back on track, and.

Speaker 4 (12:19):
He's like, I know better than the app.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
Yeah, yes, and he absolutely didn't. It probably took at
least fifty percent extra time to get back to my home.

Speaker 4 (12:27):
And so you complained and I just like, thank you
for your feedback. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
Sorry, it never.

Speaker 4 (12:32):
Crosses my mind to even try. I was with friends
leaving I saw a movie at the Americana at the
mall recently and was like leaving the parking structure and
we had forgot our ticket for validation right, and my
friend's girlfriend was like, oh, watch this and she said
like to the voice, like you hit the button and
she was like, I'm so sorry. I lost my purse

(12:53):
and I don't have the ticket, and I know you
can't let me go, but could you please and like
put on a whole show. And then there's a long
silence and the guy goes, can offer you a one
time courtesy? Yeah, and I wonder how many one time
courtesy exits he's had given out that day, but he
just let us out. The arm went up and we
left for free entirely.

Speaker 3 (13:11):
Wow. One how does he track one time. Do you
take her information?

Speaker 4 (13:15):
No, not at all, but it would be amazing if
he was like tracking very closely. But now I think
if you're just she was kind of I don't know
if you could see us or was just listening, but
she was kind of starting to sound like she was
gonna cry.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
Oh see, this was exactly That's exactly where my mind went.
I would start with crying.

Speaker 4 (13:31):
I would shop excuse me where now, let me get
to the matter at hand.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
I lost my being. Key. Wow, that's a dangerous behavior.
Parking in the pay parking lot at that mall. I
park in the free one all the time.

Speaker 4 (13:47):
Right, you mean like over at the at the galleria.
That's what I used to do in the classic. Oh,
there's there's free.

Speaker 3 (13:53):
Free one right next to the pay one by the
in and out. And I know the listener loves this.

Speaker 4 (13:58):
They have not heard enough about Losi.

Speaker 3 (14:02):
But this is I want to I do want to
really describe this situation. There's the pay parking lot owned
by local villain Rick Cruse. Next door, there's an in
and out. Do you know this in and out? The
parking lot attached to that is technically part of the
Galleria and it's attached to Bloomingdale's. All of this, that's
all free parking.

Speaker 4 (14:23):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (14:24):
And it's truly right next door.

Speaker 4 (14:26):
So when I'm parking for free at Target, this is
the same like ownership, same free parking situation, just a.

Speaker 3 (14:32):
Different one mister Galleria's lot for whatever reason, because that
mall is attached across the street.

Speaker 4 (14:39):
Wow. People love this.

Speaker 3 (14:41):
I love this. That technically is the kind of its
own little sovereign nation.

Speaker 4 (14:47):
Damn.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
So that's a little tip that I learned recently because
I had been walking all the way from the Target.
But if you see a late movie, then you have
to walk outside the entire time. In the tough streets
of Glendale, I'm always scared something's gonna happen to me.
But now I'm in total protection, uh and free and
I don't have to worry about getting my ticket validated,

(15:10):
which also it's not free parking. And again people love
ticket talk. But that parking lot, even with a validation,
I think, is five dollars, which I think is ridiculous.

Speaker 4 (15:22):
I know, and I'll say this the one and this
is relatable to people all across the world in all
kinds of parking lots. The one thing that I think
when I'm going into a structure is like, I'm gonna
have to pay. This is gonna suck, but I'm gonna
go to the tippy top and I'm gonna get a
beautiful view. And I'm like, if I'll go to the
top of any structure and it's like I'm on the
rooftop and I'm like, this would be nice. After the movie,

(15:43):
I'll come back up here and it'll be beautiful. But
the one at the Americana has been closed.

Speaker 3 (15:48):
Oh you're kidding.

Speaker 4 (15:48):
So I've been driving up. I keep forgetting and I'll
drive up and that's all of me to like the
second to the top. So it's just like the long yeah,
and I'm the most amount of driving to get up there,
and then I'm just in the old stuff up there.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
What's the logic behind that?

Speaker 4 (16:05):
I don't know. I don't know what's going on on
that rooftop.

Speaker 3 (16:07):
Wow, that's a real shape. They've got something happening up there.
Are probably satellite I was.

Speaker 4 (16:11):
Hoping you would know because like I always parking.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
You know, a gorgeous rooftop parking in Los Angeles. I
think it's is underrated. As the home depot in Hollywood.
Great date.

Speaker 4 (16:25):
I've looked at the structure. I've part I've been able
to find parking on the normal lot right in front
of the building.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
No no, no, no, take take yourself up to the top
of that trait yourself. They've got an elevator. You get
a view of Hollywood. I mean to be on top
of a home depot.

Speaker 4 (16:44):
I went when I first moved to LA I went
to that home depot and I was like fresh out
of college. So me and my friends were kind of
like getting drunk and barfing all the time that era.
So we were we like I think we maybe went
to the Dresden because we trying to be like the
Swingers guys. Oh god, and I got drunk. And then
the next day we're moving. We had rented a U

(17:06):
haul and we were moving to uh like uh like
move into our house. That's but I'm hungover. So we're
going to home depot to get some like move in
type of stuff and uh, you know how there's there's
like day laborer guys hang around there wanting to hire them.
So I was walking in. I got kind of swarm
by those guys like you do, and because they wanted

(17:26):
me to hire them, and I puked in front of
so I had. I had like twelve guys gather around me, like, hey,
would you like help today with your move? And then
I barfed into a garbage can and they all they
all scattered at this young girl, and uh, it was
I want to be like, you know, in general, I'm
a good employer. Maybe today's just not my day.

Speaker 3 (17:46):
The idea of being hungover while moving makes you want
to kill my It was the word.

Speaker 4 (17:50):
I mean, there's like pictures of me like just a
sleep in the back of a giant U haul. I
was no help. I was moving into a bro house
with like five guys too, so they were they were
used to and they just carted me around.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
That's the real rock and roll movers.

Speaker 4 (18:03):
That's some of those people are calling. I've hired rock
and roll movers before. They're good. What are they? It's
a moving company based in like Echo Park, I think,
and they employ like guys in.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
Bands and rock and rollers.

Speaker 4 (18:18):
So yeah, so what's on the vent.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
It's like there's a skull and cross classic rock and roll.

Speaker 4 (18:25):
So I've hired them, not in a long time, but
it used to be like really cheap, like one hundred
and fifty dollars ten years ago. But two dudes show
up and they are like metal heads with long hair,
stoned out of their minds. And it's great. Like you
hang out with these funny dudes all day and they're
just giggling while they carry your couch.

Speaker 3 (18:41):
That's great. They're kind of I wonder if there are
a lot of roadies in that business. Like when you're
off tour, you're used to moving things, right.

Speaker 4 (18:48):
That's probably what their best at. You just be like,
this couch is like an amp, and yeah, I can
get get my head behind that.

Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:57):
I wonder if they've gotten to like a corporate level
of like cafe at this point, right, it feels like
a crossover that's waiting to happen.

Speaker 4 (19:04):
You call rock and roll Movers and you're like, oh
my god, Rod Stewart showed up. This is unbelievable.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
I broke Rod Stewart's back. Oh boy, Well, what else?
You know, there's something else I'd like to talk about.
I actually just want to dive into this. Usually I
want to avoid the subject, but today I'm in the mood.
The podcast is called I Said No Gifts to him, right.
I thought Tim will come by, We'll have a great conversation.

(19:32):
I adore him. I think he's so funny. What could
possibly go wrong? I imagine you've got at least one email
about this podcast. You mentioned knowing about the Backyard, so
you have some familiarity with the podcast. So it was
a little bit shocked, right when you showed up with
a gift back.

Speaker 4 (19:52):
Yeah, So I mean I did. I'm familiar with the show,
and I really intended to not bring gifts, but I
kind of the think about this gift is really thoughtful,
and so I you know, like I follow you on
Instagram and I'm familiar with you with your you and
your lifestyle and stuff. And then this kind of hit me,

(20:13):
and I was like, oh, I know, I'm violating the
one rule, right, but it's maybe if it's going to
be really useful in Bridgers life, maybe it's going to
kind of make a difference. Uh, maybe you would make
an exception for me.

Speaker 3 (20:27):
Okay, so you just you thought deeply about Oh yeah, I.

Speaker 4 (20:30):
Was lost in thought. I went for a walk around
my neighborhood just kind of like looking at the sky.
I was thinking about this danger I called you know,
I I checked in with my local priest and I
was a father. I mean, I'm in a time of
great turmoil. Can you help me?

Speaker 3 (20:47):
Okay? Well, then totally forgiven.

Speaker 4 (20:49):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (20:50):
I'm giving you a huge pass. Well should I open it?

Speaker 4 (20:54):
I'm talking to the mic from about six feet dollars?
Should I open it? Here on the podcast? I think
you should. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
Uh, look at that gift rapp.

Speaker 4 (21:04):
Isn't that beautiful? It's a gorgeous bag. Where did this
come from? This is the Albertons. I love this.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
Albertson's kind of a rock and No, there's a rock
and roll Ralphs.

Speaker 4 (21:14):
This is more of a TV writer album.

Speaker 3 (21:16):
This is Hollywood Albertson.

Speaker 4 (21:17):
Yes, this is uh yeah, Los Felis.

Speaker 3 (21:19):
They used to have a The bathroom was kind of
dedicated to the movies. I don't know if you've ever
been in that bathroom.

Speaker 4 (21:24):
I've been in that bathroom many times.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
It's been renovated, I believe, but there was a point
when there was like, it's like Hollywood movies.

Speaker 4 (21:32):
That's that is glamorous. I'm hoping that I could. I'm
gonna bring a headshot and sign it and see.

Speaker 3 (21:38):
If they'll put it on an, that's a great idea.

Speaker 4 (21:41):
You know what's funny about that bathroom is the code
like I used to know it, and then they changed
in and then so I asked like a stock boy,
like hey, what's good for the bathroom? And he goes
five to four three two one instead of just five
four three two one. So I was like, thank you,
And I was like, does he not know that those
are just the consect you know, He's like, you say, oh,

(22:01):
just five for three two one. But then I was like,
that was just a funny way to say it. And
then like two weeks later, I was there shopping and
I overheard somebody else ask the same guy and he
said five four three two one. So I really I
think he doesn't know that those numbers are easy to remember,
abe CD right, So I know this is twisted and

(22:23):
I want to write it down. That is a very
funny way. It's so weird, Like I did want to
ask him. Maybe I'll ask him like do you know
do you know what like if I write him down
in one chunk five for three two one, Like I'm like,
what are these numbers have in common? Like like where
might you encountered these in nature? Yeah? I can crack this.

Speaker 3 (22:45):
Okay, Well, for the listener that's not watching the video,
it's a floral bag be jeweled. I mean, it's just
as beautiful as possible.

Speaker 4 (22:53):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (22:54):
And it's got the tissue paper the man.

Speaker 4 (22:56):
Yeah, purfle purple shimmering. Mm hmm. Oh, I'm excited for
you to get this gift. Okay, I'm gonna pull it
out now.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
It's a dust pan, the Libman brand whisk Broom with
dust pan.

Speaker 4 (23:20):
So I mentioned your Instagram you have a tendency to
post like pictures of piles of garbage you've encountered on
the street. Sure, go on, and I'm an Angelino, I
live in this town. That I was thinking that could
be beneficial to all of us that you know, it's
a very funny bit that you're doing. Sure, but like
maybe if you were to help kind of clean up

(23:41):
some of those messes, if you had this in the
back of your car and the brand name. I don't know,
I don't know your politics, but I took a swing
and I think that Libman does maybe describe describe me?

Speaker 3 (23:54):
Oh yeah, that's my Twitter account, right.

Speaker 4 (23:57):
Yeah, you're mixing it up on Blue Sky. So yeah,
when I saw that, I was like, well, this is
kind of perfect.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
Where did you buy this? Was this inn Alberson's.

Speaker 4 (24:07):
Purchase, believe it or not. This was two aisles over.

Speaker 3 (24:09):
Oh yeah, which came first? The bag or the dust pan?

Speaker 4 (24:14):
Dustpan first? And then I was nervous going to the
you know, the wrapping paper aisle, like how am I
going to get this thing? Is there going to be
a big enough? Oh yeah? Full of.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
And it kind of works out perfectly. I don't think. Actually,
I do have a dustpan at home, so I'll be
able to keep that at home and I can put
this in my car the car on This becomes like
this is one of those things where I become the
local character where people are like, that's the guy who
sweeps up messes on the street.

Speaker 4 (24:41):
People would like that. This would be a really good thing.
It's like a local community guy, especially because you're a backyard.

Speaker 3 (24:48):
Guy, right right, I'm keeping things clean. But where do
I take the trash from? I'm that's I'm parking, I'm
getting the trash. I guess I'm looking for garbage cans.
And this is a big complaint I have about nearly
every city in the world, and this must be something.
There must be some logic behind this, not there aren't
a lot of garbage cans, yeah, to just throw away

(25:09):
your trash.

Speaker 4 (25:10):
Right, and that they are piled up with stuff that's
like clearly from one business that's nearby a lot of
the time. But then that business is not in charge
of emptying it. It's like the city's problem, right, and
there's just there's nothing, there's nowhere to go with it.

Speaker 3 (25:24):
To me, it feels like some they're a simple solution,
But then I'm also thinking I was in Japan last
week and there are no garbage cans anywhere, and it's
just up to people to hold onto their garbage until
they find a garbage can, essentially.

Speaker 4 (25:38):
And do people do it?

Speaker 3 (25:39):
Yes, it's I mean, it's so clean, But I don't
know that that would be the same case here.

Speaker 4 (25:45):
I don't think people would hold onto it.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
I mean I think I actually think Los Angeles is
a very good example of why that doesn't work, because
there's just garbage on every corner.

Speaker 2 (25:54):
Right.

Speaker 4 (25:55):
So you're saying, maybe for you, a better gift would
have been a garbage can, Well, maybe maybe this is incomplete.
Maybe if I'd given you this plus a waste basket
a wastebasket.

Speaker 3 (26:04):
But my car does have a car garbage can. But
I think the idea of bringing street trash into my
car might be a bridge too far.

Speaker 4 (26:11):
You have a garbage can in your car.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
From this very podcast somebody gave me, and I don't
know if you have one of these. I talk about
this thing way too much, but it's changed my life.
It hangs off the passenger seat, and my car used
to be an absolute disaster, and now it's stuffed with
all the receipts and straw papers and all that garbage,
and I clean it out about every two weeks. And

(26:34):
now my car is I wouldn't say flawless, because I
get it washed once a year, but.

Speaker 4 (26:39):
So there are flaws that are crew sure and then
they're purged.

Speaker 3 (26:43):
But I do have that, and I recommend it to everybody.
I don't know why this isn't built into every car.

Speaker 4 (26:49):
Yeah, that's weird.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
I have a lot of complaints about things not having
garbage cans.

Speaker 4 (26:52):
I guess you know it's weird. My car. I don't
accrue anything because I have a rule that's like no,
just no stuff in my car at all. There's not
because I have a funny car. I have like a
little like a thunderbird. It's like a little red convertible.
This was sort of like my silly California car. But
I was like, the worst thing would be to driving

(27:14):
like a car, a car like this inul. So there's
not even like my trunk is empty. There's not even
like a sweatshirt in the back for when I get cold.
There's there's it's an empty car. And I've found that
if I have a rule, this goes. There's a lot
of stuff in life like this, Like it's just like
yes or no. If I were like allowed to leave

(27:35):
a little mess here there, then it would be trashed.
So then it's just like not not even a pen,
not anything in that car?

Speaker 3 (27:41):
Do you like? Will you bring a drink into the car?

Speaker 4 (27:43):
I will. I will do as the people of Japan do.
Or I will hold onto that drink when I'm done
with it's done with it and take it out that
very day. So I'm always drinking drinks in the car,
non alcoholically.

Speaker 3 (27:54):
Constantly drunk. You smashed into the studio this morning.

Speaker 4 (27:59):
Man, that would I've never driven drunk, nor will I kids,
But how fun would it be to me? Kind of
just cruising around with a with a cocktail like a margarita.

Speaker 3 (28:10):
You know, well a cocktail a mocktail, you'll still get
pulled over.

Speaker 4 (28:14):
Oh man, you're from you You're from Slia. Yes, yes,
those soda places.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
Oh sure those what is it called, like swim wigs wigs?
I love the idea. This is gross still leftover.

Speaker 4 (28:29):
If you have your drink is left over from Swig,
come by, drop it off a swill. We can use that.
I was. I went to Swig for the first time
and I was ordering at the counter, but I was
looking out the takeout window and I saw just like
happy lady after a happy lady coming and ordering their
like forty six ound sodas and needing two hands to
get their sodas and like putting into the car, and

(28:52):
uh it was. They were like, that's what I would
be like with a big frozen margarita in my car.
But they were just having a blast a huge straw,
huge soda. It's like a fun thing to happen, like
you're like hugging a barrel. It really is.

Speaker 3 (29:05):
Yeah, what was your order there?

Speaker 4 (29:08):
I was doing one that had been like a TikTok
sensation that week because it was on more Secret Wives
of Mormon Secret Lives.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
This show no one will ever get right the first time.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
Nobody knows it.

Speaker 3 (29:23):
Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.

Speaker 4 (29:25):
A drink somebody's drink order from that show was like
a big TikTok sensation, so I wanted to try it.
So it was it was like a kicked up Doctor Pepper.
It was like Texas tab I think they called it. Oh,
and it was Doctor Pepper plus coconut cream sauce and

(29:45):
then some other type of squirt of some other sauce,
but then strawberry flavor burst balls in the bottle. They
were like boba sized balls that you suck through a
fat straw but it was like candy, like Gusher's candy.
You didn't and the whole thing. You know, like if
if they had started with sparkling water and then juiced

(30:06):
it up, maybe some of that would be fun. But
if you're starting with.

Speaker 3 (30:09):
With an extremely sweet, extremely sweet and then just building
it from there, it's yeah, it's just I feel like
you have nowhere to go from Doctor Pepper.

Speaker 4 (30:17):
Yeah. So I had one sip and I was like, yeah,
this is actually pretty good, And then the second sip
was like fucking disgusting. Did you finish it? Not even close?
And I got I got the big one to be funny,
but I was throwing out like forty four ounces of soda.

Speaker 3 (30:30):
I've only I think I've been to one of those
twice when I've been back home and I've ordered like
the diet version, and I haven't been I've probably gotten
four SIPs in. I'm like, this is intolerable. This is
a bad beverage.

Speaker 4 (30:44):
Do they have diet strawberry balls?

Speaker 3 (30:47):
Like no other element of it can.

Speaker 4 (30:49):
Be like sugar syrup pumped into it's.

Speaker 3 (30:51):
The gravy and cream that they're just pouring in there gravy.
But I feel like the most you can do is
put a line in it, right, Like otherwise have to
start with just a like a sparkling water or something.

Speaker 4 (31:03):
And you'd be so boring if you went there and like,
can I have a lime wedge? Yeah? And that's it.
Who's this looser?

Speaker 3 (31:10):
I will say. I've like kind of come around about
like criticizing people for drinking those because, uh, the frappucino
is the same thing right there. I know so many
people who drink that shit. They're all horrible absolutely.

Speaker 4 (31:23):
And what's weird is I don't know, do you know
in the rules of Mormonism, I don't even think there
is a law against caffeine. It's like hot drinks.

Speaker 3 (31:31):
Wow, you're really uh, you're really educated on this because
most people are so confused and the fact that you're
even saying hot drinks is like a very specific thing
to morrow.

Speaker 4 (31:40):
This was all I did a lot of learning that
one morning that I went to this place and I
was had TikTok open while I was there. But like,
so a frappucino has caffeine, but it's a cold Is
it that it was a hot drink that then became cold?

Speaker 3 (31:52):
And then see, that's pretty You're onto the logic here,
because the logic is puzzling, absolutely puzzling. It hot drink
means coffee or tea, so if it's even if it's iced,
you can't drink an iced coffee or an iced tea,
although the iced tea of it is starting to bend
a little bit for some Mormons who will drink an
iced green tea or decaffeinated tea, but they won't drink

(32:17):
no matter what, a decaffeinated coffee.

Speaker 4 (32:20):
And it doesn't matter like cold bruise, not a loophole,
even if it was.

Speaker 3 (32:25):
Never cold, not a silk coffee.

Speaker 4 (32:27):
What about has Starbucks embraced like you know, because they
have all the sort of like lemonade and dragonfruit type
beverages of Starbucks, right, are those popular?

Speaker 3 (32:37):
I think some Mormons will drink those, But then a
lot of Mormons, I think, are afraid to probably be
even seen in a Starbucks.

Speaker 4 (32:43):
Right because you're supporting hot drink. You're supporting this big
hot drink.

Speaker 3 (32:50):
So, but I imagine I think if you looked at the
books over at Starbucks in Utah, the dragonfruit, lemon lemonade
or whatever would be probably the most popular, at least
within the Starbucks world. Right, that's probably their biggest seller
in Utah.

Speaker 4 (33:06):
I'm just speaking. I believe it. I believe you. You've
definitely looking at some spreadsheets and grass. The funniest loophole
type thing that I encountered on that I have a
friend who is like a ski patroller at Snowbird. So
he lives in Salt Lake, and I was visiting him
and we went up to Park City, Okay, and I'm like,

(33:29):
I have a cocktail podcast, Like I'm like a boost dude.
So he brought me to this whiskey place in Park
City that he thought I would like, and I did
like it, and I but I ordered a flight of
whiskeys where I'm going to taste all four types of
whiskey that this distillery makes, right, And they brought out
like the wooden ski that would be a flight, and

(33:50):
instead of giving me four whiskeys, they had two, and
then there were two empty slots, and then they were like,
when you finish these two, we'll bring you the next two.
But I was all paid. It is one transaction and
it was one piece of wood. But they just couldn't
bring me four equally. Yeah, so they could only serve
me two ounces of whiskey at a time. But it's
like I wasn't gonna like I tried, you know, like

(34:14):
as I moved it worked out totally fine. But I
like knowing that that that was like I remained pure.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
It's because the laws about these things are being made
by people who don't drink or understand drinking culture, so
they assume someone like you is just like pounding them
down as.

Speaker 4 (34:30):
Quickly as moll, like we gotta stop this devil.

Speaker 3 (34:33):
We've got to save this man. Maybe too in he'll
realize the error of his way.

Speaker 4 (34:38):
Yeah yeah, I've kept get back to LA and I'm
so like, I'll have two whiskys please, and I'll have
the next two and fifteen.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
Minutes and then I'll do some hard thinking about my life.

Speaker 2 (34:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (34:47):
Yeah, those laws none of them make any sense whatsoever.
And it just seems annoying to people who drank.

Speaker 4 (34:54):
But I wonder, I mean, so for the people that
are following Mormonism and stuff, I wonder if there's a
comfort in doing all the stuff but following the laws
and just feeling like you're in good hands along the way.
You know, like looking at four shots whiskey might feel
like what am I doing here? But if it's two
and two, you're like, like, I did this in the
responsible way, and I I was holding Jesus's hand the
whole time.

Speaker 3 (35:14):
I Yeah, I don't understand. It's like, if they have
a problem with it, just stop it all together, right.
They obviously can't do that, so they're like putting in
these weird I don't know.

Speaker 4 (35:25):
It was just funny off, Yeah, to offer a flight
that I would have never thought when I was in
Utah that on a menu, there would be something called
a flight of whiskey, like to do like a sampler
plant Like I'm fine in La never having a flight
of anything. So the idea that in Park City they
do have them, but just.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
With a flight of anything feels like such a weird
menu move.

Speaker 4 (35:44):
Oh man. I I did the weirdest faux pas recently
where I was at a German restaurant, a Red Lion,
and I wanted to try a bunch of different schnops,
so I ordered for myself a flight of schnops. So
they gave me four shot glasses, and I was walking
back to the table with my friends and they looked
at me and they go toom oh, like I was

(36:05):
bringing shots for the table. And in that moment I
realized it was my friend's birthday and I had not
thought to buy shots or buy him drink or anything.
And I had to sit back down at the table
be like, oh no, actually, these are four entirely these
are four drinks for me. But you know, you guys
can sit and watch me have my schnapps.

Speaker 3 (36:24):
Did you do anything to correct that?

Speaker 4 (36:26):
I put them in the middle of the tables, like
anyone wants to try as if we're gonna we're gonna
share everyone. Like mint schnapps is like a sweet lower
abv liqueur. So I think that the idea is that
it's like we know them as like like peach schnops

(36:47):
will just be like some it's like made of grain.
The alcohol is just like grain alcohol, but then they've
added sugar and like fake peach flavor.

Speaker 3 (36:54):
It's awful to me.

Speaker 4 (36:55):
Yeah, that that is nasty. But in Germany they're actually
like I guess, distilling, Like if you have plumb schnapps,
they're actually taking a plum and I don't know.

Speaker 3 (37:05):
What they do, and then they leave it alone for long.

Speaker 4 (37:10):
Step back. So it is interesting kind of to like
drink some plum snaps like it kind of tastes like
a rotten plum. I mean like for me as any
if any opportunity to be talking about the alcohol I'm
drinking is fun, I don't know. And there's like some
old German ladies that work at that bar that are
really knowledgeable, so I'll be like, what do you got?

Speaker 3 (37:30):
What were the other three on the flight?

Speaker 4 (37:33):
There was honey, which is tastes like what it sounds like,
and then there was one herbal that they wouldn't say
what they're undisclosed. Uh yeah, and like kind of strong
and kind of disgusting. But then the best one is
apple and it just tastes like a like a cider

(37:54):
or something. It was delicious. Okay, that's do you have
a favorite liquor?

Speaker 1 (37:58):
Hmmm.

Speaker 4 (37:59):
I'm kind of a rum guy because I was like
it like tiki bar. I'm like a my tie guys.

Speaker 3 (38:03):
Oh sure that feels like your entire vibe.

Speaker 4 (38:05):
I'm wearing a Hawaiian Yes, you're.

Speaker 3 (38:07):
Driving a red convertible, pristine, red convertible.

Speaker 4 (38:11):
Pristine on the inside of fucking mess on the ods.
Actually you know what. It had hubcaps that that had
the thunderbird logo on them, and recently I walked out
and somebody had stolen all four.

Speaker 3 (38:22):
How much could those be worse?

Speaker 4 (38:24):
I don't know how many other like two thousand and
two Ford Thunderbirds are on the road and my car
like looks stupid now, but I looked up like to
buy them because they don't manufacture them, because it's like
a discontinued car, So it would be like me buying
some weird discontinued item that's like that a collector would
be selling me. So it was gonna be one thousand
dollars to get like these little logo places.

Speaker 3 (38:45):
You're probably going to be buying them from the person
who stole them from you, exactly.

Speaker 4 (38:49):
I'm gonna set it out. I'm gonna set up a
little sting operation cats as fucker.

Speaker 3 (38:57):
Oh boy boy, Well, is there anything left we need
to say about I feel like we haven't even talked
about the dust pen to be honest.

Speaker 4 (39:05):
Well, I you so you are liberal?

Speaker 3 (39:08):
I am deeply conservative. Oh that's kind of the bedrock
of this podcast.

Speaker 4 (39:13):
I should have gotten the.

Speaker 3 (39:16):
Right, right, man, We're just this, We're constantly trying to
defund public education. I've got a lot of I've got
a big agend on this podcast.

Speaker 4 (39:23):
Okay, well, yeah, I support all that.

Speaker 3 (39:26):
Thank you, Okay, and a podcast roll credits. No, Yes,
I'm a liberal person. I would like to think, but
when push comes to shove.

Speaker 4 (39:36):
Who knows.

Speaker 3 (39:37):
I mean, come on, when I'm trapped in a corner,
maybe I'm deeply conservative, hateful person.

Speaker 4 (39:41):
I'll tell you this. My funny flip flop is I've
got like sort of like my parents are conservative in
the way that they like kind of go to churching.
We don't talk politics, but they're like conservative. But my dad,
I'm from Woodstock, New York, and my had moved there
as like a hippie guitar player. Guy wanted to be

(40:03):
a rock star, and I've seen pictures of him like
long hair, long beard playing guitar, total hippie man. And
then when rock and roll didn't work out as a
career for him in the seventies, he opened like a
hippie pizza place, okay in Woodstock on the village green,
like whole wheek crust, wow, cool place, and it did
well and he made money, and then he became a

(40:27):
Reagan Republican. Guy started wearing a blazer, Oh no, and
was is just like I'm a restaurant tour so that
was like, that's the dad that I grew up with,
is like a conservative Republican. But it was mainly based
on like not wanting to pay taxes.

Speaker 3 (40:43):
Right, of course, that's always what it is.

Speaker 4 (40:45):
So if you ever open a restaurant, don't get too
successful with that. You don't want to have to like
be like Uncle Sam's taken all my dough pizza do money?

Speaker 3 (40:55):
Does he have any of those hippie ideals left.

Speaker 4 (40:58):
Not at all, and he won. He doesn't even lay
guitar anymore. Oh what a shame. He gave me the guitar.
So the guitar I'm always playing in my band is
my dad's guitar from seventies, because he associates that with like, oh,
you know, there was a whole it was drugs and
music and all of it, and I don't want any part.

Speaker 3 (41:14):
Of it, like so many hippies have turned this way.

Speaker 4 (41:16):
Yeah, but you would think you could just still play
the if you're just you know, like if you play
guitar on its own, it's it's not saying anything politically.
It's the lyrics that are anti Vietnam or whatever. But
I don't feel like the guitar itself is to blame.
But he won't touch the thing.

Speaker 3 (41:31):
Wow, that's crazy, like it's cursed. Certainly there's some horrible
conservative songs he could be playing. Absolutely, I'm trying to
searching my mind.

Speaker 4 (41:41):
Rascal Flats, Yeah, who was that guy that was like
went viral last year. Was like out in the backyard strumming,
and it was there was like some conservative guy a
song that was like about welfare. Welfare people are too fin.

Speaker 3 (41:54):
Oh, who was that Oliver? Oliver Oliver He's mononym.

Speaker 4 (42:01):
Yeah, Oliver, it was Oliver. I bet my dad would
like that.

Speaker 3 (42:06):
Wow. That And then that guy up ended up being
kind of controversial for conservatives right where he's like, well
that's not what I think.

Speaker 4 (42:12):
I think that heat Like then Fox News loved him
and stuff, and he was like, I'm like a West
Virginia weirdo. I don't want to be part of it.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
I believe in nothing.

Speaker 4 (42:19):
And then also actually read a really interesting interview with him,
like a month later. He was touring and it's kind
of adorable, like he didn't know how famous he had gotten.
So he was still playing like small venues, but he
was like trying to price gouge on the on the
merch and was like fighting with the club owners of
these small clubs because he was like give me my money,
don't you take my money. But I was like, dude,

(42:40):
you could just you could be headlining festivals, you know,
like you could go to Nashville and be a billionaire.
But he was like, I'm charging twenty five dollars for
that T shirt.

Speaker 3 (42:48):
Now, taking it just out of reach of my family.

Speaker 4 (42:51):
Yeah. So he's like living in like a smite slightly
larger shack in West Virginia, being like I'm a success.

Speaker 3 (42:59):
He feels kind of like, uh that like the musician
becoming viral, Like it's like the what was the guy
with the Golden Voice? The homeless man with the Golden
Voice or whatever it was. Oh yeah, that was like
the title of the viral thing and what had ended
up happening with him.

Speaker 4 (43:14):
It feels like.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
It's always a darkened any viral person.

Speaker 4 (43:18):
I know. I mean, I was just I was in
a building recently and I like, like this where there's
a lot of studios, and I saw that it was
the Talk to a studio.

Speaker 3 (43:27):
Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (43:30):
So me and my friend we took a picture with
the sign I think like we were going to be
guests on Talk To but we weren't. But we just
thought it was a funny picture and we posted it
and I had no idea what's been going on with her?
She released like a meme coin and did like a
pump and dump and people lost money. People hate her,
and she was like on the lamp and stuff. She was.
I think she's back now, But in the moment when

(43:50):
I posted the picture, people were like, don't go on
that show. She has screwed a lot of people out
of their savings.

Speaker 3 (43:56):
Now she's gone too far.

Speaker 4 (43:57):
Yeah, it's also funny the people investing their savings in
Talk Talk to Rock to a coin and we're like
she when this was our hard earned money and we
thought we trusted her that.

Speaker 3 (44:07):
Person any person who put their money into that there
money should be drained by the government or there should
be like a babysit sitter put in charge of whatever
they're doing with their finance.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
Yea conservatorships for everybody.

Speaker 3 (44:18):
Yes, wow, I wonder how much longer Sho'll lasts.

Speaker 4 (44:22):
Like I think she's got a long career. She's so good,
she's you know, she's God. How how miserable would it
be of like, you know, if you're a comedian you're
trying to like write more jokes or write your next
script or whatever. Imagine if you were famous for saying
hawk to a spin on that thing and then you
have to I've seen other clips where she has more

(44:43):
of those, and like, how miserable. Like if you're like
trying to come up with more of those, or you
have writers pitching you more of those, you know, like, uh, slurp, slurp,
suck on that thing, and she's like, yeah, that's actually
pretty good.

Speaker 3 (44:58):
We're all going to be working for this person.

Speaker 4 (45:00):
Yeah, I know. I mean I would. I would do
that job in a heartbeat. I think she would have me.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
Yeah, we're all looking for health insurance. It's the worst
business in the world.

Speaker 4 (45:11):
It's the health insurance. This thing is funny. It just
crossed my mind recently because I've been like, this year
has been a lot of touring with my band and
stuff like that, and we're doing good and everything, and
then I just like, oh, no, I have I have
to write for if I don't write for television. Yes,
I've as as adult, I've never paid for health insurance
because I've been lucky to be getting staff jobs for
all that. But I'm like, oh, like, I didn't even

(45:32):
think about that. I have to pop in and write
some jokes for somebody, somebody at some point, I've.

Speaker 3 (45:36):
Got to find something. Yeah, otherwise wherever well with health
the health insurance, you know.

Speaker 4 (45:42):
And it's it's kind of funny that the amount of
I think the WGA, it's like I need to make
like thirty seven thousand dollars a year whatever to get
my next year of health insurance. It is very funny
when during a light year, when you've made like, you know,
thirty six thousand dollars, you're like, I'm not going to
make one thousand dollars of union, Like, where is this
going to come from?

Speaker 2 (46:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (46:03):
How's that going to happen for me?

Speaker 3 (46:05):
That's like you have to yeah, where would that? Because
the amount you would get from another job would probably
take you right well and comfortable.

Speaker 4 (46:12):
And it would be too much money.

Speaker 3 (46:13):
I just want to make the thirty can write like
a greeting card or something.

Speaker 4 (46:17):
Just a so.

Speaker 3 (46:19):
Oh what a terrible hawk?

Speaker 4 (46:22):
Tua talk toua.

Speaker 3 (46:23):
Maybe sure, let's get her a show.

Speaker 4 (46:26):
She's very good, she's.

Speaker 3 (46:28):
Ultimately ultimately very good.

Speaker 4 (46:30):
Period. Does she have a name Haley? I think it's Haley.

Speaker 3 (46:36):
That sounds right, also a mononym Oliver and Haley go
on to.

Speaker 4 (46:44):
Catch Oliver or hall Over.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
Okay, interesting, Okay, well okay, now see I'm thinking as
a writer for both of these people, and I'm kind
of pitching myself as one of their staff.

Speaker 4 (46:56):
If you can package them and then they need you
because you had the idea for them to lab That
is funny I've worked on a couple of things where
it was like somebody's grandfathered in because they were part
of the idea for like a very long time ago, right,
and then they just get to be like in the
room for a thing happening, and wow, you just have
to package some stuff, say you you and you you guys.

Speaker 3 (47:17):
And then everyone else on the staff hates that first
and it talks about.

Speaker 4 (47:20):
Them nonstaff, and they don't give.

Speaker 3 (47:25):
They get to show up and do whatever they want.
They don't care how many text threads are about.

Speaker 4 (47:29):
They're like, go for it. I'm getting no texts. That's
the dream. Look at the phone, just that the messages
app is empty.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
No one cares about. Okay, well, I'm thrilled. I feel
like at some point you said, are you liberal? And
did we talk about that? This feels like a long
forgotten dream.

Speaker 4 (47:50):
Did we? Did we say out loud that the brand
name is Yes, that's what's.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
We have past guests, the Libman Brothers have been on
this very podcast. Yes what two very funny men named
the Libman's.

Speaker 4 (48:02):
Okay, but they're not these ones.

Speaker 3 (48:04):
They're not these as far as I know, they're not
connected to this brand.

Speaker 4 (48:07):
We don't know.

Speaker 3 (48:08):
It might be a distant relative, or maybe they're hiding
it from maybe they're a nepo babies in the worst way.
And I wonder if the libman owners are.

Speaker 4 (48:21):
Conservative interesting feel really dirty?

Speaker 3 (48:25):
Yeah exactly, they're constantly trying to change their name. But
lib Man that feels like a good novelty blue Sky account?
Are you on blue Sky?

Speaker 4 (48:34):
My my podcast is on blue Sky, but I'm not
out there just yet.

Speaker 3 (48:37):
How is it you know, I'm not. I have an
account and I've never used it.

Speaker 4 (48:42):
I thought for a second that blue Sky would be like, oh,
this is a return to silly old Twitter where we're
being funny, Like that's what I know you from, Like
we used to Like.

Speaker 3 (48:50):
You're the last Twitter account that I found funny.

Speaker 4 (48:53):
Really, so I kind of shut it down.

Speaker 3 (48:56):
You're the only one where I'd be like, oh, this
is the only person on here that's still funny.

Speaker 4 (49:00):
Well, thank you. But then also it's funny that I
feel like I was being like, hey, I'm silly in here,
and then I kind of I fell off and turned
dark and was fighting with people like how could you not?
It's an awful website. So when I first looked at
blue Sky. I was like, oh, maybe this will be
silly old Twitter, and mainly what I saw was like
just Democrats being like, oh, it's so nice to be

(49:22):
away from the conservatives, and then still just like lots
of talk about why they don't like Trump, and it
just felt like, You're like, well, it's the definition of
an echo chamber if we received from the place where
the conservatives are so that we can talk about politics
in peace.

Speaker 3 (49:37):
Oh so boring.

Speaker 4 (49:38):
Yeah, it's boring.

Speaker 3 (49:39):
Your Twitter account went Yeah, there was Beverly Mysterious.

Speaker 4 (49:43):
That was celebrity gossip. Yeah, Linda underwear that was kind
of raunchy stuff about her husband.

Speaker 3 (49:48):
And there was one more, wasn't there.

Speaker 4 (49:50):
I mean, at least one. I'd tried a thousand more
and if they didn't get any results, I would change
it again. But those were the ones that stuck. Yeah,
And then the last one, I think it's still this
to this day. I changed it like I didn't know
what this meant. I was trying to be artistic. I
changed the name to Manders, and I was like, I
was like, what's Manders? And then I started being like,

(50:12):
Mander's coming soon, And then I don't know what it was,
and I didn't know if it was a name or
a thing or whatever. So on there. Now it's still
like Mander's and there's just like, hasn't been a tweet
for years? Oh what a shame?

Speaker 3 (50:23):
What I mean, it's kind of I feel free that
I don't have to do it anymore. Yeah, but there
was kind of a fun element to it.

Speaker 4 (50:30):
Well, sometimes I think of a joke that's like, you know,
a short sentence and I don't know where to type it,
and I'm not on threads and Blue Sky feels like
not the right place. I'm like, where do I put
the sentence? I texted to a friend and ask them
if they laughed.

Speaker 3 (50:44):
You're doing all these open mic yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 (50:47):
Can I have thirteen seconds and then like me at
twelve seconds and then I'll finish the sentence.

Speaker 3 (50:53):
Yeah. I don't know where any of that goes anymore.
I guess you could slowly write a book or something.

Speaker 4 (50:57):
Right, Yeah, That's what I'll do every day, one sentence
and then when I read it on like this was
a perfect novel. Oh my god, what a moving story.

Speaker 3 (51:06):
It only took forty years, so right, Uh, well, I
think it's time to play a game. What game should
we play? I'm gonna name two. I'm gonna give you
an option. We can play a game called Gift Master
or a game called Gifter a Curse.

Speaker 4 (51:21):
Gifter a curse. It has a.

Speaker 3 (51:23):
Darkness, yeah, shadowy Okay. I need a number between one
and ten from you.

Speaker 4 (51:29):
Seven. Okay.

Speaker 3 (51:29):
I have to do some light calculating to get our
game pieces. So right now, you can promote, recommend, do
whatever you want. I'll be right back.

Speaker 4 (51:36):
Uh all right. I write for a show called Digman
on Comedy Central and Paramount Plus. Watch that show. I'm
in a band called the Sloppy Boys, and I have
a cocktail podcast called the Sloppy Boys checks out.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
Okay, it's gonna take longer for me, So.

Speaker 4 (51:48):
That's all my credits. I've got a Patreon podcast behind
a paywall called the Sloppy Boys blowout five dollars a month.
You gotta listen to that show. Okay.

Speaker 3 (51:57):
Next, this is my new bit.

Speaker 4 (52:04):
You're writing a novel? What else can you check me
out on.

Speaker 3 (52:10):
You?

Speaker 4 (52:10):
I'm not on Threads, I'm not on Blue Sky. I'm
on TikTok, but I haven't ever ever posted any videos.
I just sort of scroll swig content very good.

Speaker 3 (52:23):
I almost heard nothing because again I'm out of my mind.
But those are find Tim wherever you go.

Speaker 4 (52:30):
Tim is so funny.

Speaker 3 (52:32):
Uh, listener, I have all the you know, I recommend
myself in this podcast all the time. Find the Instagram
and I have. I'm watching Little House on the Prairie.
If we've already talked about that, get into it, the
old one, they're making a new one. I'm not involved.
I should have been, despite the fact that I only
started watching the show a month ago. But I feel

(52:52):
like I know what Little House should be and the
fact that no one's reached out is disgusting.

Speaker 4 (52:58):
Michael Landon, Yes, so I've never seen an episode. Don't
know that guy, but there's there's a gravitas around like
the way people talk about him. They're like, Michael land
is that coming across as he extremely charismatic?

Speaker 3 (53:11):
He ah, yes, he's a very he's dreamy and he
obviously was like I think he had a lot of
control over the show. And you see him without his
shirt on pretty frequently for a show that's like for
Mormon families to watch on Sunday.

Speaker 4 (53:25):
Yeah, yeah, he'll.

Speaker 3 (53:26):
Be like in with no shirt and suspenders.

Speaker 4 (53:30):
And is he in really good shape.

Speaker 3 (53:32):
He's a great show.

Speaker 4 (53:32):
He looks incredible. So he was an EP in just
every week. His idea was like, I guess maybe my
shirt comes off.

Speaker 3 (53:38):
What if I was hard at work and the beating
sun and I didn't have a shirt.

Speaker 4 (53:42):
I remember thinking about when I was a kid, I
saw Dances with Wolves and you see Kevin Costner's butt,
and then I heard that he directed that movie, and
as a kid, I was like, he chose to show
his butt. Like I was watching that movie thinking like
they forced them the show. But it is funny if
you're directing a thing, or if you have any say

(54:03):
and you're like, I'm going to be sexy in the show.

Speaker 3 (54:06):
It's so fine. It's such a weird move. And I also,
this is something that I can't say for sure, but
my boyfriend was doing some researching about Michael Landon and
apparently there was that decent amount of sexual harassment going
on on the show, which when you think about how
family friendly it is, it's a weird thing to think
about him having these wonderful moments with this family, then

(54:27):
the cameras turn off and the.

Speaker 4 (54:32):
Baby and then everyone's in like old timey garbine.

Speaker 3 (54:35):
Yeah, nothing about it makes any sense. Okay, this is
how we play Gift or a Curse. I'm going to
name three things. You're going to tell me if they're
a gift or a curse and why, and then I'll
tell you if you're right or wrong, because there are
corrects and you can lose.

Speaker 4 (54:49):
I hope I win.

Speaker 3 (54:50):
I hope you win too. I'm rooting for so to win,
do I have to get two of the three right?

Speaker 4 (54:54):
You have to get all three right.

Speaker 3 (54:56):
Yeah. There's a very short list of winners, shorter list
of losers, and then just a bunch of people who
have done all kinds of things. So do whatever you want.

Speaker 4 (55:05):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (55:05):
This first one is from our Mega tier of listeners.
Someone named Fairy Shepherd, and I can't imagine that's their
real name, But who knows? Gift or a curse? Palindromes gift.

Speaker 4 (55:21):
I like to come across a palindrome that you know,
not somebody said, some big fancy one that everybody knows.
But if it's just like I catch it in the wild,
that's actually a palindrome. Makes me feel smart, and it's
a gift to feel smart. Wrong, that's a curse.

Speaker 3 (55:35):
That's I come across one of these things, and I think, why,
why don't we just put a.

Speaker 4 (55:40):
Different word there? You know the things. I can't walk
down the street anymore. They'll see these things.

Speaker 3 (55:50):
No, it's lazy. If you see a palindrome, you should
and you're writing things down, find a synonym there to
put for the second word. I don't want to see
mirror words anywhere I go.

Speaker 4 (56:02):
Okay, so instead of madam, I'm Adam.

Speaker 3 (56:04):
Yes, it should be madam, I'm Brent.

Speaker 4 (56:07):
I agree, it's better. Yes, that is better, better writing,
better writing, for sure.

Speaker 3 (56:11):
Yes, A man a plan?

Speaker 4 (56:14):
What is that one?

Speaker 3 (56:15):
A man a plan A canal Panama? Is that?

Speaker 4 (56:18):
Yeah? Yeah, a man a plant canal? There we go
way better. See, this is why we get the wa points.

Speaker 3 (56:28):
We're working for. Hawk to a gal. Yes, Holly is
that her name? Haley? Haley, Hailey, Holly Oliver.

Speaker 4 (56:37):
That's all over. Don't look to it, do not look
into it.

Speaker 3 (56:42):
Okay, So you've got that one wrong and everyone is
not on your side anymore.

Speaker 4 (56:46):
But I'm still gonna do the next two just because
I have heart.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
Yeah, Adam, because you're a good guy, all right. The
second one is from a listener named Andy gift her
a curse black tie optional.

Speaker 4 (57:01):
This is a curse, and I'll tell you why. People
read it, and they just think black tie optional means
optional black tie. If I want to wear a tux,
I'll wear a tux. If I don't, I don't. But
it's confusing because black tie optional is kind of actually
just the name of its own category. And if you
google it, it's like it's like saying cocktail formal but
before black tie is black tie optional. It's a very confusing.

(57:24):
It's the most commonly misunderstood one. If I see black
tie optional, I know I'm not wearing a tuxedo, but
I'm confused about what suit I'm gonna wear.

Speaker 3 (57:34):
Correct. I hate this thing. I hate I need to
be given a clear directive first, and I also hate
a dress code in general. Don't tell me to anything.
Just let me show up. I don't want to. I
don't want to walk into a thing thinking did I
get the rule?

Speaker 4 (57:49):
Correct? But are you never looking around at the people
in shorts sayings under dressed?

Speaker 3 (57:54):
Well, of course, let me do that on my own time.
Let me be free to judge and make my own rules.
I don't need. I'm already at your stupid event. Don't
give me another assignment.

Speaker 4 (58:06):
I just went out to dinner. I was in New
York for my birthday and I went out to Ruth's
Chris Steakhouse family and my sister was coming straight from work.
So she was like, worried if she was dressed up enough,
and I was like, don't worry. I wanted her to come,
so I'm like, don't worry. It's Ruth Chris. You can
wear whatever you want. I'm wearing a button down shirt
but no blazer or anything, so wear whatever you want.

(58:26):
So I was saying like, yeah, you should be able
to wear whatever you want. And then she came and
she was dressed sort of casually, but I was like,
you look great. This is great. Then we got in there,
I saw a guy with a baseball cap. I was
grossed out. I was like, what the fuck it's my birthday.
You were in a baseball cap. It's a steakhouse.

Speaker 3 (58:44):
Take that hat off.

Speaker 4 (58:45):
This church they did tell them to do. They did, yeah,
and I think that's the only thing they would enforce.
Like they were like, sir, we do have dress. We
didn't mind taking the hat off. And he happily took
it off, so it was not I didn't have to
get involved.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
This is what I'm gonna say to this. If you
were a a national chain of any type of restaurant
or anything, you shouldn't be able to have a dress code.
I think that people should. Once you become a national chain,
the shine is off. People can show up in boxers
and tank tops.

Speaker 4 (59:15):
But does that discourage people from spending money? My I
got a ribbi that was all a cart seventy nine dollars, right,
I hate to hear it? So am I going to
spend that kind of money? Silly money? Stupid amount of money.
If there's baseball caps.

Speaker 3 (59:31):
Being surrounded by trash.

Speaker 4 (59:32):
Yeah, or baseball players. I don't know. He could have
been a professional baseball player like Shield, He's like, what
do I miss? We were in extra innings.

Speaker 3 (59:46):
For me, it would encourage me to spend more if
I was allowed to dress like garbage, because I'd be
trying to impress everybody. But well, I got the money.

Speaker 4 (59:53):
I mean that is the cool move. To be the
casual guy with the most money is.

Speaker 3 (59:56):
A cool that's very la thing.

Speaker 4 (59:58):
Yeah, La.

Speaker 3 (59:59):
There is no rest code anywhere. That's one thing to
know about this city, in particular, if you show up
in sweatpants, you're probably the richest person.

Speaker 4 (01:00:08):
Yeah, and and that you were embarrassed to like I
was invited to dinner at SOHO House by a guy
who's a member, and I dressed up and I felt
like a door.

Speaker 3 (01:00:16):
Oh you feel like yeah, absolutely, like an orphan exactly that.

Speaker 4 (01:00:21):
It was like this guy's really I looked like I
was going to church.

Speaker 3 (01:00:23):
Yes, Oh, the worst feeling in the world. Okay, well
you got that one correct.

Speaker 4 (01:00:27):
Very nice.

Speaker 3 (01:00:28):
You're kind of winning back people's favor. This final one
is from a listener named Emily Gift or a Curse,
a radio host takes the opportunity on a musician's birthday
to tell us there would be age though they've been
dead for years.

Speaker 4 (01:00:45):
Gift, why interesting? I want to know some of these
rocks ares live real long, and if they had all
kept on living, I want to know where they're at.
How do I stack up? How how how long I'm
in a band?

Speaker 3 (01:00:59):
Are your rocks are? Just?

Speaker 4 (01:01:01):
I want to know how long? No, it is funny that,
like I'm not gonna do the math now, but if
you told me how old Jimmy Hendrix would be today,
I'd be interested in that three hundred. That's interesting. So
he was really old when he needed to die when
he died, fantastic.

Speaker 3 (01:01:19):
My god, he didn't die too young. He died too old.

Speaker 4 (01:01:22):
He's like two and fifty.

Speaker 3 (01:01:24):
People were begging him to die, or.

Speaker 4 (01:01:26):
Like, we're tired of this guy, Jimmy, you've gone too far,
and now he's playing guitar. He's been around for two
and fifty years and now he's playing guitar.

Speaker 3 (01:01:33):
He picked up something very late. No, you're correct. I
think this is a gift. I love a little trivia fact.
I love being reminded of mortality in general. I love
just a song being given a little.

Speaker 4 (01:01:46):
Bit of spookiness.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
Yeah, to hear he would have been this age, but
he's now ash. I think that's a nice thing to
add on pop radio.

Speaker 4 (01:01:56):
Yeah, and then it makes you think of his or
like if he's buried in the ground and we're thinking
about modern day him, the soul has left his body. Yeah,
add something to the music.

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
Yeah, you're suddenly so distracted, you're driving off the road.
It's so disorienting.

Speaker 4 (01:02:11):
I hate when I'm driving and I stay on the road.
That's just the words so boring. Everybody's doing that.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
Come on, let me swerve, let me hit something something,
Come on, No, I think it's a true gift. And
we love those DJs, and well, if any of them
still exist, I think most of them are just one
robot on Jack f M at this point.

Speaker 4 (01:02:31):
We love those robots.

Speaker 3 (01:02:32):
Yeah, we love those robot DJs telling us about Actually
it's probably a robot bragging about not being able to
die and mortal gloating.

Speaker 4 (01:02:42):
They're like, you know, Bradley Noel from Sublime is long dead,
but here I am living.

Speaker 3 (01:02:46):
Forever Bradley Noel r I p he would probably be
about sixty four. Yeah, that's right, that's almost right.

Speaker 4 (01:02:57):
And that's actually if that's right, it's extraly interesting because
there's the Paul McCartney song when I'm sixty four?

Speaker 3 (01:03:01):
Like that, right, so again, nobody look into that. I
bet he would probably be, how probably fifty three at
this point, don't you think.

Speaker 4 (01:03:10):
No less interesting than fifty? Are there any songs about
being fifty three?

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
When I'm fifty three? Did Paul McCartney do one for
every age? When I'm an unremarkable age? Sixty four was
kind of a bad age.

Speaker 4 (01:03:22):
What was he thinking? Yeah, I don't know. He didn't
give hi himself enough time, like he very quickly then
became sixty four, and everyone's like, ah.

Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
You idiot. But I guess at the time in the sixties,
sixty four was that was much older. Because now I
think I feel like sixty four is almost middle age,
like late middle age.

Speaker 4 (01:03:40):
But at the time it was probably like grandpa. Right.
I just looked up do you know the actor Blair Underwood.

Speaker 3 (01:03:46):
I know that name.

Speaker 4 (01:03:47):
That means he's like a good looking actor guy from
the nineties, And I just saw him in a commercial
and he looked fantastic, and I was like, wonder how
old he is. He looked him up and he was sixty. Wow.
So now you're like, you could be like a sixty four.
I mean, Brad Pitt's sixty probably. Yeah, so sixty four
is not even old man anymore.

Speaker 3 (01:04:03):
No, you look great, you look fantastic. So Paul McCartney
really biffed that one bad musician ultimately just a bad musician. Yeah,
no good at anything he ever did.

Speaker 4 (01:04:13):
It sort of overshadowed everything else.

Speaker 3 (01:04:16):
Unearned fame. Uh, kind of a loser. Okay, Well you
got two out of three. Not too bad.

Speaker 4 (01:04:21):
I feel good. So I didn't win, but I you.

Speaker 3 (01:04:24):
Got sixty six percent, so you I think it's a
D minus. Great, fantastic, Honalast you honals has a gift
or curse which they'll present to both of us and
we have to speak to it and then we'll see.
This is kind of the final nail. That's not a
nail in the coffin. It's the final round, holyast, what's
going on?

Speaker 5 (01:04:44):
Gift or curse? Sing along screenings at a movie theater.

Speaker 4 (01:04:54):
I gotta say curse because I've never been to one
that I've never been attracted to go to one. And
if if I if I want to sing along with music,
I want to hear my voice, not some jag off.
You know I did. I. I saw the Era's Taylor
Swift movie twice in the theater and everyone was up
and dancing, and that was fun, and I'm a Taylor

(01:05:14):
Swift fan, so I enjoyed myself. But when people were singing,
I was like, what kind of want to hear the lady? Yeah? Yeah,
you know the lady lady. Yeah. I think it is.

Speaker 3 (01:05:27):
Well, let me let me just give it some quick
thought here I give.

Speaker 4 (01:05:30):
It some thought. You want me to plug more projects.

Speaker 3 (01:05:32):
If you wouldn't mind. Just what else have you been
working on?

Speaker 4 (01:05:35):
Jesus Christ, I've been you know. I brought new new
curtains from my home and they're emerald green, and I'm
not feeling great about it.

Speaker 3 (01:05:43):
Oh, that seems like a bold choice.

Speaker 4 (01:05:45):
It's too bold for me.

Speaker 3 (01:05:46):
That's a big sexy choice.

Speaker 4 (01:05:48):
It was intended to be, but it's Backfuck, it's a mess.

Speaker 3 (01:05:53):
I'm going to say curse as well. I I do
not want anyone encouraged to be making noise in public
at a time. I don't and I don't want them
to have that freedom. I don't want them to feel
that they have any opportunity. And I think that that
can bleed into regular non singing screenings and people start
to get confused.

Speaker 4 (01:06:10):
People. Most people are stupid.

Speaker 3 (01:06:12):
And we'll start to think I can sing whenever I
want and people want to hear me. No one wants
to hear you. I hate when people say anything or
sing anything in unison. It makes me uncomfortable. Yeah, when
I'm asked to yell along with other people, I'm silent.
I don't like that feeling. I don't like cheering. I
don't like I think that people have to stop it

(01:06:33):
in general, curse top to bottom. You won't catch me
in one of these things.

Speaker 4 (01:06:41):
I you know, it's funny when you say people sing
in uise, and I really when people sing happy birthday.
I hate hearing people being off pitch. I'm so not
I'm in a real scrappy band and I'm not a
Oh really, are are you a tone deaf?

Speaker 3 (01:06:52):
That's what I've been told?

Speaker 4 (01:06:53):
Really? Okay, so when when it's time to sing happy birthday?
Are you ever the first one being like hey everyone, ah,
follow me?

Speaker 3 (01:07:02):
No, I'm more like this, yeah, yeah, as quietly as possible.

Speaker 4 (01:07:06):
I Uh, I'm a follower as well, because I'm like,
I don't know the range of the people in this room,
what what not? Are we gonna start it? I'm gonna
start too high, I'm gonna start too long. But like, yeah,
when when the public is singing together or clapping together
or anything, I and I'm so not like a fancy
musician or anything, but I do like look at the
person who's doing it wrong and thrown it off.

Speaker 3 (01:07:27):
There's just something kind of inherently dorky about like shouting
in unison to me, it's something I don't know what
why it makes me so uncomfortable.

Speaker 4 (01:07:35):
You're like, if we're all singing together, it means we
all know it, so then why do it just think
of it? I just think this quietly. That's what they
should do. Oh this was funny at that steakhouse when
it was my birthday, Like my mom had done the
cute thing and told the hostess thing, it's Tim's birthday. Okay.
During my entree, the hostess walks over and says, Tim,

(01:07:55):
we hear it's your birthday, and we'd like, we'd like
to thank you very much for spending with us. And
she hands me a card and I'm like, thank you,
And I look at it. On the front it says
happy Birthday. I open it up. It says happy birthday
Tim from the staff for chris Seakhouse. And I was like, okay,
it didn't say like it was. It wasn't a gift card.
And then dessert came out, no candle and no cake,
know anything.

Speaker 3 (01:08:16):
So their policy, wow, quiet quiet, they want to keep
that as.

Speaker 4 (01:08:22):
Maybe my mom has said it's my son's birthday, but
let's keep this discreet.

Speaker 3 (01:08:27):
Please don't embarrass up.

Speaker 4 (01:08:29):
It was done so like, so discreet, like it had
been requested that it was quiet. But I was like,
why do anything? And I certainly didn't want a restaurant
to sing to me. But then it was also weird
that it was. It was just nothing.

Speaker 3 (01:08:41):
For all we know, your mom requested that guy's hat
get taken off, asked him to take that off.

Speaker 4 (01:08:45):
It's my son's birthday. The card says like, we removed
the hat. We hope you're happy. And I got to
say that guy wants his hack came off beautiful head
of hair, gorgeous. I was loving looking at him, just
a glorious.

Speaker 3 (01:09:02):
On alas, how did we do? It's a gift, their gift.

Speaker 5 (01:09:06):
The gift not because I want to be there, because
we finally have a place to put all the insufferable theater.

Speaker 3 (01:09:12):
Lock the doors, the doors, you.

Speaker 5 (01:09:15):
Know, Throw some food in there, they'll be fine. Throw
some uh some audiobook versions of Babs's recent memoir they
they'll they'll be totally okay in there. This now they're
encouraged to do the thing that they've been doing at
Denny's at midnight.

Speaker 3 (01:09:30):
Oh my god, just where.

Speaker 4 (01:09:32):
It gota know, this feels like segregation kind of. They
can do what they.

Speaker 3 (01:09:37):
Want to, just keep it away from singing children away.

Speaker 5 (01:09:41):
And I love I have many I have many friends
who are theater kids.

Speaker 3 (01:09:44):
But we all do.

Speaker 5 (01:09:45):
I mean everybody in this this building, probably, but let's
be let's be real. They need to do what they
do in private. And I'm not ashamed to say that.

Speaker 3 (01:09:54):
Yes, I have plenty of enthusiastic performer friends, and that
doesn't mean I can't hate their energy and vibe altogether. Well,
I hate to hear that we were wrong, but I
feel like we're we all kind of got to the
spirit of this.

Speaker 4 (01:10:11):
It was still a compelling conversation.

Speaker 3 (01:10:13):
It was a gorgeous conversation, and no one can complain
at all.

Speaker 4 (01:10:17):
Thank you, Onalise.

Speaker 3 (01:10:19):
This is a final segment of the podcast.

Speaker 4 (01:10:22):
People are We're going to do?

Speaker 3 (01:10:23):
People are sending in voicemails or sending in emails, all
sorts of things to I said, no gifts at gmail
dot com. However they want to get in touch, They're
getting in touch as long as they're not calling me personally.
We're going to listen to a question. Will you help
me answer a question?

Speaker 4 (01:10:36):
Yes? All right?

Speaker 6 (01:10:37):
Analise hit it Hi Bridger and Tolerated guest. This is
Beth from Portland.

Speaker 4 (01:10:44):
Hello.

Speaker 6 (01:10:45):
I am a gen X hairdresser who is very tired
and is wondering if there's another career that I might
look into, maybe as a side hustle, maybe as a
whole new career.

Speaker 3 (01:11:00):
And I thought who.

Speaker 6 (01:11:01):
Better to ask than Bridger? So what should I do
instead of hair.

Speaker 3 (01:11:08):
Nails? Okay? The podcast is over.

Speaker 4 (01:11:12):
Easy?

Speaker 3 (01:11:13):
Yeah, I think it's very clear.

Speaker 4 (01:11:14):
Well softball nails? Absolutely?

Speaker 3 (01:11:16):
Uh? Okay, Well, I'm actually a sensing I'm a little
confused because here she is complaining about being tired, blah
blah blah, and then it's saying should it be a
side hustle? Should I add something to my plate?

Speaker 4 (01:11:26):
Yeah? That's not what you do when you're tired. I
think you like, maybe you focus on your personal life.
It's not a career change.

Speaker 3 (01:11:32):
Right, So what does she really want ultimately other than
a tention on a podcast.

Speaker 4 (01:11:39):
I think it's reinvest in your art. It is. I
think you stay as a hairdresser, but you've been maybe
given the maybe give some more adventurous cuts, interesting, Maybe
start talking some people into some new new looks. If
you've lost your inspiration that's on you, and you got
to explore. Maybe go on a trip around the world,
see some interesting hairstyles. Get inspired.

Speaker 3 (01:12:00):
First of all, blame yourself. Yes, adventurous cuts is a
good name for it, so.

Speaker 4 (01:12:05):
They're not We're not saying they're good.

Speaker 3 (01:12:07):
They're adventurous.

Speaker 4 (01:12:08):
We know there's fantastic Sam, but this is adventurous. Best.
Where do you get your haircut? I go to fellow
barber and those feelis formerly Rudi's right, But I've never
I'm forty two and I've just never figured out how,
like how to do haircuts, Like I wait until it's
too long. Then I go without an appointment to a

(01:12:29):
strange man who cuts my hair, and I'm never going
to the same person. I describe what I want, they
don't they cut it, Like all my hair's gone. I
look dumb for two weeks, and then after two weeks,
I look like myself again. I've done that every three
months for forty two years. Wow, that's impressive, thank you.
That's very passive. But I've never like people are like, oh,
have my guy he comes over to your house, or

(01:12:50):
like cost to your house. There's a lot of that. Yeah,
I don't want that.

Speaker 3 (01:12:54):
I know, I want to go to the place. I
want to smell the bar beside.

Speaker 4 (01:12:57):
I don't want him to see my Emerald curtains. That's harass.

Speaker 3 (01:13:01):
And then I'll get an idea about who you are
and then give you that haircut.

Speaker 4 (01:13:04):
No, no, I'm not one of these Emerald guys.

Speaker 3 (01:13:06):
Okay, that's a very specific cut.

Speaker 4 (01:13:09):
I'm a good, honest guy.

Speaker 3 (01:13:11):
No, I think this is a good, good advice. Beth
travels the world. She's getting all sorts of new ideas
for cuts, exotic cuts, adventurous cuts. She gets back to
a great clips.

Speaker 4 (01:13:24):
Yeah, and you you you you talk people in and stuff.
They come in for the same one cut and you
have about bangs. You know, you're you're the oh I had.
I actually had a guy at Rudy's fellow try to
I always just get the same haircut and my my
hair parts on this side, like naturally, so I've always
done that. And the guy was like, Tim, can you
pitch you something? I was like, yeah, well, what He's like,
no part? I was like, what do you mean. He's like,

(01:13:46):
it's just sort of like thrown forward and it's just
sort of like this, and then he kind of puts
my hair in that like configuration, but he hasn't cut
it yet, and he's like, he's like, so I would
cut it so that it doesn't fall in any one way.
And then I was just like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
this is good for a future haircut. I think I'm
not there yet, but thank you, thank you for this,

(01:14:08):
but yeah yeah next time. So uncomfortable, I know, like, no,
it's hard to say. It's like like at a restaurant
if the waiter recommends something and you don't have that record,
but this one like he was really excited about this,
so I just have like, yeah, that's so cool. No,
that's so cool that we're not doing that.

Speaker 3 (01:14:26):
I would love to get a picture of my haircutter.
I feel like they're always taking my direction, like right,
I like the idea of an objective source looking at
me as someone who doesn't hate themselves.

Speaker 4 (01:14:37):
Well, I mean, it's their feedback in general. One time,
when I was like a teenager, I was getting my
haircut at the mall and I was like, she was like,
what do you think about the sideburn length? And I
was like, oh, you could take my sideburns off, and
then she goes, I actually wouldn't do that. I was like,
what do I mean? And she's like, so you have
sort of like a wider face, and in what you do,
if you have a wider face, you don't want to

(01:14:58):
go too high with the sideburns. Uh, it'll accentuate that
with and uh like it hurt my feelings for two seconds,
but then I've had like long sideburns ever since. That's good.
I mean, that's a professional's advice. I learned something. Yeah,
and you're looking at me thinking of this guy has
got a long, narrow face, you know, arrow, the floor.

Speaker 3 (01:15:20):
Cracking behind him.

Speaker 4 (01:15:22):
It's weird. I like, I look like that McDonald's moon man.

Speaker 3 (01:15:26):
It's a problem, but really like it's the dentist doesn't
ask for your advice.

Speaker 4 (01:15:33):
Like I would like to do it. I have some
yellow teeth. Actually, you know, white would work well for you.
Rotting teeth kind of that's not to look for you.
You have a wide face, so your teeth should not rot.
I will say this.

Speaker 3 (01:15:47):
Uh. I feel like for men, you kind of get
trapped in a haircut for your entire life, Like when
you get a new Like if I were to get
like a brand new cut, I think people are like,
what's happening.

Speaker 4 (01:15:57):
Yeah, it's also funny that like we have short hair
and it kind of doesn't matter. But you have friends
who are like like Mike Hanford or Kyle Mooney or
Jef Dutton from my band, like like these like comedy
guys who are like, my thing is cut, my hair
is kind of longer. That's a lot of pressure when
when they get their haircut, we're gonna notice, like it,
because it's gonna get kind of like quaffed and snipped. Oh,

(01:16:21):
and a lot is gonna happen, and they might kind
of come out looking like a beautiful lady with like
hair that was like too snipped up. Because these are
like laid back comedy bres. Like if you can't be
like a pot smoking, chill comedian, but you look like
you have like nicely teased.

Speaker 3 (01:16:34):
Bags completely and they can't go completely.

Speaker 4 (01:16:38):
Short, right if you everyone's gonna notice if you go short,
everyone's gonna notice everything you do, as opposed to like
I think, on me, a haircut just looks like a haircut.

Speaker 3 (01:16:46):
Yeah, it's that thing. How do you Yeah, I don't know.
I feel trapped, absolutely trapped. How do I have to
like get a new life?

Speaker 4 (01:16:53):
Essentially, you have to move to a new city.

Speaker 3 (01:16:55):
Yes, Beth, did you get your answer? I mean, I hope.

Speaker 4 (01:16:59):
So.

Speaker 3 (01:17:00):
I feel like we gave Beth at least two career things, evolutions, shifts,
the world, travel to ultimately, just go on a vacation
and give yourself a break bath. You're sending voice notes
to podcasts, you're cutting hair, you're gen x.

Speaker 4 (01:17:19):
You describe results. I mean you say I'm gen X.
Hairstyle is from Portland. It painted too much of a
picture that I know you too well.

Speaker 3 (01:17:29):
Back off, so you.

Speaker 4 (01:17:30):
Didn't have to tell me you were tired. I got it,
but I think, uh, you know, the Portland is a
lush culture fund. You can experiment. Open a food truck.
Everybody's doing it. They need one up there. Every people like, oh,
our food is bricking mortar.

Speaker 3 (01:17:48):
If only I had to look up the timetable of
when I could get my food, if I could track
down my food. Beth, thank you for writing in, but
or sending in, don't ever do it again. Good luck
with your new career. Good luck to your clients. They're
all gonna feel so abandoned when you leave them. I
don't know, Tim, I've got my dustpan and.

Speaker 4 (01:18:07):
It's gonna go in the back of your car, and
when you see garbage on the street, you still take
your picture.

Speaker 3 (01:18:12):
I'm gonna do what Karen Bass won't do. Yes, I'm
gonna clean up the streets of La See.

Speaker 4 (01:18:21):
I'm Rick Caruso. This is to make up for all
the money Rick Carrioso has lost on your parking over
the years. You clean up the city.

Speaker 3 (01:18:31):
I can't wait to be kind of around town. People
thinking Bridges Bridger is kind of lucy.

Speaker 4 (01:18:38):
We're worried. It is cool though, like you said, if
you were the clean up guy or the dustband guy.
There used to be a man that walked around the
Silver Lake Reservoir. Old guy, like looped up, walking fast
from no shirt but reading the newspaper, looped up and
like like like Tanning Tanning oil, so slippery, one hundred
years old, in great shape, walking real fast, reading the newspaper,

(01:18:59):
and everybody loved him. And then when he died, everyone
was like, oh, the newspaper guy died. That's sad. That
could be if you want to be remembered after you
just now you're getting a late starts, you better get
it work.

Speaker 3 (01:19:11):
Yeah, okay, well I'm fine whatever I've had such a
wonderful time with you.

Speaker 4 (01:19:17):
Thank you for having me, thank you for being a gift.
Who cares?

Speaker 3 (01:19:21):
I'm laid back.

Speaker 4 (01:19:22):
Wow, hang loose, very cool.

Speaker 3 (01:19:28):
Listener. The podcast is over. I'm I need a nap,
I need to take I'm probably gonna go fully to
bed at one twenty seven pm. I don't know what's
going to happen to me. I've got to at least
drive home. We'll see what happens. The podcast is over,
do something else. Please, I'm not going to get into
your business. I love you, goodbye. I said No Gifts

(01:19:50):
is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is on
Alise Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday.
The theme song is by miracle Worker Amy Mann, and
we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You
must follow the show on Instagram at I said No Gifts,
That's where you're going to see pictures of all these

(01:20:11):
wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see
the gifts?

Speaker 6 (01:20:15):
I invit?

Speaker 3 (01:20:16):
Did you?

Speaker 4 (01:20:16):
Hear?

Speaker 1 (01:20:19):
Thot a man myself perfectly clear? When you're a guest
to me, you gotta come to me empty, and I said,
no guests, You're our presences.

Speaker 2 (01:20:35):
Presents enough and I already had too much stuff. So
how do you dare to survey me

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Tim Kalpakis Disobeys Bridger