Zeke Smith Disobeys Bridger

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
And I invited you here. I thought I made myself
perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you
gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests,
you're o presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
So how do you dare to surbey me? Welcome to
I said, no gifts. I'm Bridgard Winegar. We're here in
the studio right up top. We're coming to Chicago May

(00:59):
twenty third, the Den Theater May twenty third. Did I
already say that Chicago? I've only been to Chicago once.
You better treat me well. The last time it was
not for a live show. This is for a live show,
so I want to be treated with respect, a little respect.
I want to have a nice evening with all of you.
Go to the Dentheater dot com, I believe, or google it,

(01:20):
or on a LIS's this something we can put in
the show notes. Absolutely on Aalasa's on top of it.
You can look in the show notes. You can probably
go to our instagram. There are so many ways you
can shop online. So buy your tickets if they're still available,
Buy a friend a ticket, come to the show. We'll
have special guests I'm gonna bring some gifts from you.

(01:42):
Never know what I'm gonna bring to give away because
I've got to get rid of some of this stuff.
And uh, just brace yourselves, brace yourselves for the theater. Ah,
what else is going on over the weekend? I went
to Medieval Times. First experience at Medieval Times. And if
you don't think I bought a souvenir glass, You're out

(02:04):
of your mind. This one has kind of lights flashing
at the bottom. So I've been drinking my coffee out
of that every morning, which is going to lead to
a migraine, and that's fine. It's also not dishwashers safe
because as a battery, so I don't know. It'll probably
end up in a cupboard and then ninety years from now,
someone ninety years how long am I willing to gonna live?

(02:25):
Someone's gonna find it at an estate sale and they're
going to say, this is state sale sucks. Should we go? Anyway,
let's get into the podcast. I love today's guest. It's
Zeke Smith. Zeke, welcome to I said no gifts.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Well, thank you for having me.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
I'm so happy you're here. I had a big weekend
over at Medieval Times.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
Well, I'm I'm very jealous because I went to Medieval
Times once when I was a child in Dallas, tex Okay,
and have always wanted to go back. And my husband
recently shot a television show for to b It on
two B Great in Toronto, Okay. And this was two
Bey's for a scripted show, and they weren't They just

(03:04):
didn't know all the nooks and crannies of like filming
something and all the rituals. So there was no plan
for a rat party.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Oh sure.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
So I always love to be the party planner, and
I lobbied really hard. I was happy to do all
the logistic work to have to go to Medieval Times
in Toronto.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
That's a great irat party.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
Yeah, And they said no, Yeah, No one listened to me.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
What's happening over at Tube? This is ridiculous. Tooby is
out of control. First of all, my apologies to Touby,
but come on, hire somebody that knows the basics of
running a television show. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:40):
I'll refuse to comment more because it's not my place.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
I just my husband.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
But I was just I was very disappointed they did
not take me up them.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
Wow, that would have been great. Yeah, do you have
any memories from your original medieval times experience?

Speaker 3 (03:53):
I just remember being my mother was very concerned that
there was going to be no silverware and they will
eat with your hands. Yes, So we went to like
a Walmart or whatever and bought like a box of
plastic silk, and my mom like brought it in in
her purse and then was like concerned they were confiscated.

(04:14):
Of course it's contraband, yes, and that. And they didn't
have diet pepsi. They only had regular pepsi, and you know,
we only drank diet.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
Of course, patty was a concern. Wow, I have well
not to break, but I had a diet pepsi during
my experience. Oh wow, so they've expanded their they've expanded
it at least to diet pepsi. I still ate with
my hands. I drank my soup out of the bowl
holding my hands. Yeah, dipped my brit my clearly frozen
garlic bread into the soup. Did not eat my corn,

(04:47):
did not eat my clare that looked like it had
been taken from a bad wedding somewhere.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
I'm not a fan of a mass produced a claire.
I'm not either got to do it like you got
to do it but Taga Louis style where it's very good,
or don't.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
Because I think it is something that's so easily manufactured
in a factory that it'll often be kind of like
it's almost like an airplane dessert or something where it's
just this is what we've got. Take it. I might
give me a Milano, absolutely, this is me if like,
if you're not gonna go all the way for the dessert,
just buy a bag of chips a Hoy.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
Yeah, that's fine, They're great.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
I will prefer that because chips a Hoy knows what
they're doing, and somebody who doesn't care about his dessert
is gonna make something worse.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
Exactly exactly.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Oh, I love to hear that. I had a pretty
decent time at medieval times. I feel like it kind
of feels like you're dining around a litter box.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
In a way. Yeah, I didn't think of it, but yeah,
because there's just the horses pooping in the dirt.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
Yeah, and they have like those giant like they have
the employees running around with like what are essentially giant
litter box scoopers. So it's an odd experience.

Speaker 3 (05:49):
So I my father used to own a cattle ranch.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
Oh wow, so.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
I've I've spent a little time, and I believe the
technical term for those are shit shovelers.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
That's a Latin term. Yes, wow, So have you spent
time on horses?

Speaker 3 (06:07):
You know, we didn't have like horses. It was kind
of like a small My dad got it after he
and my mother sold their business and got divorced, which
sort of happened simultaneously, and he had this like dream
of being a cowboy, so he bought this little like.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
Ranch in.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
Prague, Oklahoma, which it's spelled like Prague, but we see Prague.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
There are several of those throughout the United States.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yeah, we also have a Miama, which is spelled like
Miami Miama. Miama. Oklahoma is a very weird place. Both
of our major airports are named after men who died
in airplane crashes. Oh no, who will we Will Rogers
in Oklahoma City, Okay, and then Wiley Post in Tulsa.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
That's tough. Was were they named after they died in
the plane crashes? This feels like a weird move.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
Well, I mean Will Rogers was a very famous Oklahoma
So it's like you get that, but then Wyley posts
not as famous, and it's sort of like this seems
like a bad trend.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
It's kind of a like a Springtime for Hitler situation.
Let's try to just get this airport to go out
of business. Wow? And were they big plane crashes or
they these ones were They're like I'm a famous person
and now I'm flying my own plane into the side
of a mountain.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
Yeah. I think like they're sort of like Amelia Earhart style.
We want to go and like do some sort of
flight that no one has done before.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
And then right the Hubris, Yes, where's the Amelia Earhart Airport?
We need to get that going?

Speaker 3 (07:43):
Is there not one?

Speaker 2 (07:44):
I would love? I would go to that. That should
fly through the Bermuda Triangle.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
You know what is a great airport is the Charles
Schultz Airport in Santa Clara.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
Is it Peanuts themed?

Speaker 3 (07:55):
Yeah? Oh, it's this tiny little airport with all this
Peanuts stuff in it, and it like you know, takes
you to wine country like near Heals Bird right. I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
Is that the Sonoma region?

Speaker 3 (08:08):
I think so?

Speaker 2 (08:09):
But you can fly there direct from Barbank and all
the airplanes are shaped like doghouses and the red barn.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
Wow, there's a Snoopy on all the planes.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
Wow, that's where I love Peanuts. I absolutely adore Peanuts
and I feel like anything Peanuts themed I'm on board with.
It's our current television screensaver.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
Oh you know how Apple, if you have Apple TV,
it was like landscapes and now you can choose Peanuts.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
You can and it just is it animation or is
it just pictures of the various animation.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
It's a lot of like Snoopy sleeping on his doghouse
and then like running around. It's very Snoopy.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
Oh, this is very sweet. Yes, yeah, I'm still on
the lion scapes because I like to try to guess
where they are, and it's almost nine out of times
ten times. Dubai or lax La.

Speaker 3 (08:54):
Is the areal of x is my worst airport in
the world.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
It's such a that is the best version of lax
You only want to be in a drone above it
exactly if you're down on the ground level, forget it.
They should do a screensaver of Burbank Airport. Oh, they
should have something Apple could look into right well.

Speaker 3 (09:13):
And you hear it.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
Burbank is going to be completely redone soon. What's happening, Well,
they're just.

Speaker 3 (09:19):
Going to update it so it doesn't look like a who.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
Have anybody touching Burbank. I agree with you.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
I think it just needs to be its own special
little thing where you can, forgotten time, valet your car
for twenty seven dollars a day and you literally drive
it up, you throw your keys at the guy and
in five minutes you're past TSA and you're.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
It's the best airport in the world.

Speaker 3 (09:41):
I mean, it's got like six Guy Fieri restaurants, and.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
It certainly does. I think it's fiery, bathroom gates, only
four flights a day, It's so cool. I wonder, Oh,
this is genuinely concerning to me. I wonder what. I
hope it doesn't get in the way of it being
so easy, one would hope.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
Well, I think there's also the limiting factor of there
can only be so many flights out of out of Bourbank,
right because of the noise pollution.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
Oh yeah, because it's kind of in a suburban area.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
Yes, there's like very residential and also all the studios, right,
because like we're in studio city and right next to
like Radford and Universal and all that, and you can
definitely like hear the planes of being Wow.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
Definitely like a stop for planes is Yeah, so that
will kind of probably keep it as small as possible,
you would think. So we've got to preserve it. It's
it's heaven on earth.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
It is the best light experience in the world.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
Do you know when all of this renovation is going
to begin? Uh no, I've brought you on here at
the Burbank Airport official.

Speaker 3 (10:48):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
But that is that sent a jolt through my body.
I don't want them touching it. It's my little precious airport.

Speaker 3 (10:54):
I wouldn't mind it being a little cleaner, Like if
we wanted to replace some carpets.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
The carpets are a little rough.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
Maybe wanted to update the bathroom situation a little bit.

Speaker 2 (11:04):
That's part of the charm. It's part of the charm.
It's like, you know, it's just like it's just been
forgotten in the back of LA's closet and we get
to take advantage of how easy it is. But maybe
they'll clean the carpets, maybe they'll put in some tile,
get one decent coffee place. Yeah, but I don't really
care as long as I can just walk in essentially.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
Right, I'm happy to spend sixty dollars on a whiskey
cocktail and chicken fingers and Guy Fieri's.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
How are the chicken fingers not bad? I believe I
feel like Guy Fieri would be decent with chicken fingers. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:35):
The peak chicken finger is wingstop.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
Oh interesting, I've never been to a wing stop.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
It's worth even just postmaning. But the chicken tenders themselves
right well, and they're ranch sauce. Oh is it's peak
ranch stace.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
A good ranch that's basically my number one chicken finger
dipping sauce.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
Yeah. I'll take a barbecue or honey mustard every now
and again, but ranch needs to be the center.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
And barbecue it could be any flavor. Essentially, you really
never know with barbecue, but ranch, you're like there's a
ballpark area of ranch. Sometimes barbecue sauce is a little sweet.

Speaker 3 (12:09):
Yeah, well, it's got tons of sugar in it. It's
essentially you know, the base green. The base ingredient of
American barbecue sauce is ketchup.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
If you're never a major on barbecue, no, I have Okay,
but it all starts with like, dump a bottle of ketchup,
add brown sugar, throw in some spices, a little vinegar mustard.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, I like a vinegar barbecue sauce.

Speaker 3 (12:30):
Are you from? Where are you from?

Speaker 2 (12:33):
I'm from Salt Lake City.

Speaker 3 (12:34):
Oh, Okay. So you're not from a like a barbecue.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
Ring No, no, no no. I guess your tay would
say it's more of a ranch ranch oriented mayo based sauces. Yes,
because we are famous with our fried sauce, which is
ketchup and mayonnaise mixed together. Where you're from Texas? Oklahoma? Oklahoma? Right?
And what's moy.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
Yeah very much? So Oklahoma. And I hate to say
this because Texas, but sooner. Oklahoma is just culturally the
northern province of Texas, right right, It's like it's cowboys
and Indians, it's barbecue and yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
I always for the longest time, I kind of just
assumed Oklahoma was very dusty.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
Well because that's where the dust Bawl happened.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
So one a time did not make this connection.

Speaker 3 (13:22):
That's where all the oakie is left in grapes of
wrath to come to California. So Oklahoma. More fun facts
aside from our airports named after people.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
Graft Is.

Speaker 3 (13:33):
So the dust Bawl happened because well, first of all,
we kicked all the Native Americans out of the southeastern
United States, right, Florida, Georgia, alban right, march them on
the trail at Oklahoma. They're like, this is a wasteland.
No one wants this. And then they were like, well,
actually we're gonna let like even further marginalized that and

(13:54):
we're gonna let white people have the good land. And
then they just they farmed the land so much without
any regard for the environmental impact that literally all the
dust bowl happened, and dust was blowing all over the
country because they just plowed up all of the roots
of the things that keeps the dirt in the ground.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
That is such a crazy disaster.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
All right, and then the legacy continues. So when I
lived in Oklahoma, there were maybe like three earthquakes a
year that like were imperceptible, right three day in la
exactly the ground shakes a little, right it happens. I
left in two thousand and six, and when had the
time I returned to see my dad, like five years later,

(14:38):
there were something of like one hundred and seventy four
earthquakes a day. What because they started fracking. So, fracking
is a process of extracting oil on natural gas from
the ground where you shale is a very porous substance
rock material. Sorry, so you inject wastewater into the ground

(14:58):
to break up the shale and like get the gas
and the oil to come up. And for a decade
they were like, no, it's not it's not the fracking
that's causing their earthquakes.

Speaker 4 (15:08):
It's not the fracking, which is the reason why a
curse lights, which is cursed the devil's are rumblin. But yeah,
for like ten to fifteen years they're like, no, no, no,
it's not fracking.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
It's not fracking. And then finally they were like, yeah,
this is like becoming a problem and people can like
light their the drinking water on fucking whoa.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
So, what's what's the latest status of earthquakes in Oklahoma.

Speaker 3 (15:30):
Well, they, of course, they put a couple of regulations
on it, and it was back to like seventy years.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
Okay, seventy years, you can handle seven years. Wow, that's
Oklahoma's gotta eventually learn a lesson about screwing things up
with the ground.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
Well you know there is. It's just such a weird
place that is so dominated by like anti regulatory, right
Mary cowboy, Yeah, pro capitalist stuff. So we had we
I haven't live there, and I'm basically like as a transperson,
like illegal and open anymore. But there was a ballot

(16:07):
initiative in sometime in the early odds, you know, twenty tens,
where Oklahoma legalized cannabis right, uh, just for anyone to
go and purchase. But it was it didn't come from
where it came from California, which is like lefty hippies
who think people should be able to like medicate with cannabis.
It came from like the libertarian side of it. And

(16:30):
of course everybody wants to smoke weed. So it passed
this ballot initiative and then it was like okay, but
there was no regulation on it. Oh wow, to the
extent that it was so easy to get a license
to grow cannabis in California that drug operators from Russia
and China were just like buying and opening up cannabis farms.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
And then this was in Oklahoma.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yeah, they would go and they would have these huge
grows and they would just like dump all their trash everywhere,
and people would be like, like, there's a bunch of
Chinese people making drugs in next door, and nobody knew
whose job it was to go and like investigate it
because there were like thirteen people who worked in like
the cannabis organization and nobody knew if it was law

(17:15):
enforcement or the cannabis people or who. So there was
this like massive growth of international illegal drug cartels growing
to Oklahoma, and.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
Then what I assume at some point there were some
regulations put on.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
Oh yeah, they've now like increased the regulatory agency. It's
not as fun as it was anymore, right, But I
think they're now trying to like a lot of the
legalization of cannabis. It hasn't been the economic boon people
thought it was, nor has it had the like decriminalization
d you know, prisonification effects people thought it would. So

(17:54):
now I think, I know, Texas just banned even sort
of like secondary products like Delta nine and CBD.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
While they're going in the other direction.

Speaker 3 (18:04):
Right well, because Texas legalized hemp products right like CBD
and like you know, jute rope or whatever. But there
was this loophole in it where you could sell sort
of like it's not quite as potent as the weed
we get here.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
It's called Delta nine. Uh huh.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
I actually, so when I go visit my mom who
lives in Austin, now we would go and just like
buy weed from the like smoke shot. Right now it's
Delta nine. So me and my husband be like, we
light it up and it. I loved it, because California
weed is too strong, too much for you. I used
to be such a stoner in New York when I
was just getting like dealer weed from a nation, little

(18:40):
white lesbian with dreadlocks.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
It was great.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
I had so much fun. But this week it gives
me a panic attack. But in Texas it was like
the shitty dealer right right, Well, I'm disappointed Texas.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Texas is all over the place, good grief. Do you
consider Texas the south with the west so or the southwest?

Speaker 3 (19:02):
Uh? Southwest is what I would say the answers. But
here's here's also the answer is that there are parts
of Texas that are the south, like in the eastern part, right,
it's sort of a butt Louisiana and Missouri along the
Mississippi River, you know, that was sort of the earlier
part of Texas that like geographically has the tall trees
and the rocks and.

Speaker 2 (19:22):
The rice a lot doesn't look like a Looney Tunes
desert exactly.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
Then you know, you go all the way out towards
like El Paso or Martha, it is a cool town
and it looks like you're in the desert with like
the skulls and the tumbleweeds and the Canthus.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
I was just talking to somebody about this. I don't
know why, but yeah, because Texas is so cowboy focused,
but it's also a lot of the South bullshit happening.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
Yes, I mean it definitely. You know, was on the
Confederate side during.

Speaker 2 (19:48):
The Civil War. Yeah, I guess that kind of I
think that maybe the answer there.

Speaker 3 (19:52):
And I was actually I was talking to you know,
Guy Brandam. Oh, yeah, of course, I was talking to
Guy Brandam about this. So college football is the major
cultural institution of the South and the Southwest, I would say.
And there has been a realignment of conferences where Oklahoma
and Texas went from being in a conference that was
like Kansas, Iowa, Texas Oklahoma to a conference that is

(20:16):
the Southeastern Conference, and it is all of those like
principal deep Southern states. So Oklahoma realigned itself in this
cultural way to the South as no longer as part
of like the Southwest. I mean it's all the same, right,
It's all the Bible ball whatever, of course, but it
is interesting because there was always such a thing like
Oklahoma's not the South.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
Yes, and Oklahoma was kind of in a weird thing
of its own. Oh it was Indian territory. Yeah. Culturally, yes,
I couldn't quite place them. If you had asked me
five minutes ago, what do you consider, well, I guess
I would have said Republican weirdness.

Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah. I mean, but culturally, like I said, is it
is Texas with a small man complex.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
That's hard to hear. Oklahoma listener, we love you. Hey.
I spent eighteen years in my life there, and I
feel like people are moving to Tulsa.

Speaker 3 (21:12):
Yeah, I hear that.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
I feel like they have some sort of like artists
program trying to get people to go there.

Speaker 3 (21:18):
So they do. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
I was.

Speaker 3 (21:19):
I was in New York few months ago and NYU
has a Tulsa campus. Oh, fascinating, And I was like
they had all these like I wish. I went to
the book starts They're like NYU Tulsa, and I was.

Speaker 2 (21:31):
Like, what the fuck?

Speaker 3 (21:32):
You pay all this money to go to NYU and like,
and you want to spend a semester in Tulsa.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
How bizarre.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
So I looked up the program and it's basically like
they found a cheap and willing place where they can
go send artists to like go right for six right,
I think right, there is some it's mostly that.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
Right, Baron Trump is writing his play there now something
like that is one woman show, incredible, god willing. Okay, well,
I think we should talk about something else. There's something
I just have to get to, uh, which is unfortunate
and I'm not thrilled about it. I was excited to
have you here on the podcast today. Well, thank you,
I thought, Zeko, comeby, we'll have a fantastic time. We'll

(22:14):
move on with our days. The podcast is called I
said no Gifts, So I was a little I would
just say it was a little unsettled when I saw
you come into the studio. Look, I'm sure you've got
at least one email with the title of the podcast,
and you walk in holding what couldn't more clearly be
a gift. Uh, I have to ask is it for me?

(22:39):
It is interesting? Okay, I'm going to just push through
my feelings here. Should I open it here on the podcast?

Speaker 3 (22:46):
Yes? I think you should because it really dovetails nicely
with this question of culture and cuisine of the Middle States.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
Oh, I'm excited to see this. Then, so here you
got right, it's in this beautiful black bag. Yeah. I
think we got that at a after party gifts somewhere. Yeah,
they're the tote bags just piling up in people's closets
from Yeah, various things. Okay, I'm gonna put it. Feels
like there might be two things in here.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
They're actually uh four things.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
In Okay, does it matter what order I pulled them out?

Speaker 3 (23:18):
No, but I would pull the big one out.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
Okay, that's a big one. And you've really got them
squeezed in here. That's oh. Oh, I'm thrilled at I'm
already thrilled. I'm seeing a crock pot. We're seeing a
slow cooker, yes, okay, And should I bring everything out
at once? Yes? Okay, Oh, I'm so happy now I've

(23:39):
brought out well, it's got to be seventy pounds of
velvet to cheese. Wow, and diced chilis on a lish.
It's this camera wise? Am I getting in the way here?
Are you ready to? Are you about to scold me?
Looks great? Looks great?

Speaker 3 (23:55):
Great?

Speaker 2 (23:56):
Wow? Oh my god, I mean obviously. I mean, first
of all, I don't own a crock pot, which I'm
so thrilled about this.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
Well, this is an intentionally shitty crockpie.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
So oh no, this is gonna be this is us situation.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
No no, no, no, no no no. So they in Oklahoma.
The dip, the thing that you eat that runs through
your veins is Velveta rotel dip, right.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
Which is just this shelf stable cheese product. Of course,
we love a shelf stable processed cheese.

Speaker 3 (24:29):
And two cans of these diced tomatoes and green chili
is incredible. And you cube up the velveta and you
put it in the crockpot with the rotel dip or
the rotel, and then you put the lid on.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
It, right, and you just kind of let it milk together.

Speaker 3 (24:41):
Yeah, but I will give you a warning. It dries out,
so you got to put the lid back on it.
So if you set this out at a gathering you
do need to inform your guests to put it back on,
because otherwise it will become this like desiccated block of
cheese product.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
That is very hard to cre a frack basically, yes, exactly. Wow.
Well I've never I mean, I've obviously had queso in
various forms of this, but I've never made it at home. Yeah,
so this is the easiest way to do it.

Speaker 3 (25:12):
And really, if you're getting queso at a text Mex place,
it's just this but thinned out with chicken stock.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Oh. Interesting, they're scamming all of us.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
Well, if you like it running, you like it running.
This is a very thick cheese.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
Dap right right, Well, tell me why you brought this,
I mean, other than the fact that what a delicious
thing to eat. Sure.

Speaker 3 (25:29):
Well, so my my husband, my now husband, when we
first started dating and sort of, you know, we're like, oh,
this is like a thing our first purchase.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
We went to Target. We don't go to Target.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
Anymore, of course, Oh sure, but we went to Target
in West Hollywood, the one on like Santa Monica.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
Of course, uh Highland, it's Santa Monica and Librea Librea
yea connected to I got best Buy and a rock
and roll sushi I believe. Yes.

Speaker 3 (25:58):
So yeah, our first purchased because I I wanted to
introduce him to this cultural statement of first purchase was
a crock pot just for making queso and we still
have it. Wow.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
And how was his first experience?

Speaker 3 (26:14):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (26:14):
He loved it. I feel like it's something you'd be
hard pressed to find someone who doesn't love a melted cheese.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
With a tortilla chip. It's the perfect thing.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
Oh, it's fantastic. How often are you making it?

Speaker 3 (26:26):
I think we only make it when people come over
at this point. Okay, though sometimes sometimes we love to
have what I like to call it taco's gringoes night.
Oh so we get you know, the ground beef with
like of seasoning, and we get the hard shell tacos. Yes,
and you know, the grated cheese. And so sometimes when
we do that for dinner, we'll he'll insist that I

(26:47):
but the thing is, it's like it doesn't keep so.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
No, I mean this. I mean it's meant to be
on a shelf four one hundred years until you make
it and then forget it exactly. It'll be rotten within
probably ten minutes. What is this cheese made? I mean,
it's so made out of milk and stuff, but they
I guess they just made it out of like atomic
ingredients basically.

Speaker 3 (27:11):
So I forget when this happened, but there was you know,
probably like you know, sometime the economy was low to
the government to support cheese producers. Producers, they bought up
all of this cheddar cheese and like stored it in
a cave. What and then they're like, well, we've got it.
We can't just like keep cheese in a cave forever.

(27:34):
What the government owns all this cheese, what can we
do with it? And there had scientists come up with
a pasteurized cheese product, so it does technically start out
as chatter at least it's original iteration, and then it
gets like boiled down in whatever to the shelf stable
cheese product, and then they then it became government cheese,
right rightment, the government has all this cheese, what are

(27:56):
we gonna do?

Speaker 2 (27:56):
We're gonna give it to poor people right right, And
now it's for everybody. And I would love to know
where that cave was.

Speaker 3 (28:03):
Yeah, I listened to that on an NPR podcast years ago.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
I'd have to Oh, it's like the cave in Aladdin,
except first, I mean I would live in a cheese cave. Absolutely.
I can imagine myself sliding down a hill of cheese,
diving into it like Scrooge McDuck. Wow, what a whimsical
thing for the United States government to have done. Yeah,
and then turned into this. I wonder when this expires.
I want to see August twenty first, twenty five.

Speaker 3 (28:31):
Oh, so you better get on it.

Speaker 2 (28:32):
I only have a few months.

Speaker 3 (28:33):
We usually stockpile this that came from the back of
the shelf.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
But it does say best Buy, so it's not like expires,
so it probably has another forty years after that.

Speaker 3 (28:43):
Oh yeah, I'm sure it's fine.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
Yeah, I think it'll probably get like less tangy but
or more yeap potential. I mean, it's cheese. We've got
a lot of age.

Speaker 3 (28:53):
Have you ever opened up a big block of valveto like, No,
you're gonna have fun when you like cut it out
of the foil and it's like gooey, it also like
solid and wiggily.

Speaker 2 (29:01):
Should I do it now?

Speaker 3 (29:02):
You're more than welcome.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
I mean we're on video here. I think we should.
This viewer would be so unhappy if they didn't get
to see this, and it's even like I've never noticed
it's in like this weird little box.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
You just gotta like gotta see.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
The listener right now is so confused.

Speaker 3 (29:22):
I can just grab the bottom of it up right.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
No, I'll shake it all the way. Let him learn.
Let's see here. Here we go. Wow, this is uh,
this is much more well, how's it gonna survive? You know,
the nuclear apocalypse? Whoa, it's so soft and weird. Okay,

(29:43):
we're opening it. This is probably gonna smell up the room.
Let's see here. I'm gonna have to make I will
literally have to make keeso tonight. Let's see here. Oh,
it tastes wonderful when made. But smelling that that close? Whoa,

(30:05):
I just burned my nostrils out or something. Okay, let's
keep going. Is this gonna get all over my hands?
Let's see here spanking it? But listen to that. That's horrified.
That is the grossest possible noise.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
You want to pinch a little piece off and try it. Oh,
I won't make you do it. I'm just saying it
would be rude. I did bring it here, I have
to do it. But I am gonna say to you
there was.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
I would rather eat raw chicken than uncooked processed cheese,
like a like a what are those like the craft singles?
If that's not melted instant nausea? Yeah, hard agree.

Speaker 3 (30:47):
I grill a lot, so we do like a lot
of bike burgers, and I'm a believer in cheddar on
a burger, right, but my hobby and everybody else likes
American and healing those little.

Speaker 2 (30:56):
Plastic packets over the ground. It's like, ugh, oh, I'm
fine once it's melted on the hamburger. But okay, I'm
gonna try this and just uh letting everyone know I
may become violently sick. So this could be the first
episode I've come really sick on. Which is excited? Oh right,

(31:17):
get the podcast wonderful, So start booking guests, start thinking
of future guests. Okay, okay, I'm gonna oh.

Speaker 5 (31:27):
Oh, it's a gross I can barely swallow that. And
it was true because it's like paste texturally.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
That is not for me. This has got to be
Do you want to try it? No, girl, I grew
up on that and that's with me to.

Speaker 3 (31:46):
School for lunch.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
Would they really I'm trying to think, is there any
other time other than melting it that you use this.
People put this like spread it on sandwiches, and.

Speaker 3 (31:57):
Maybe you could make like a pimento cheese, but again
you would still sort of be like melting any.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
Right, I can't imagine this as our Oh no, ou
it's on my hand. I'm gonna smell like cheese for weeks,
I know.

Speaker 3 (32:07):
Are there any recipe ideas on the box?

Speaker 2 (32:09):
There's another one that I agree with, which is mac
and cheese. Okay, sure, yeah, that makes sense right.

Speaker 3 (32:14):
There might even be oh yeah, see look the recipe
is even on the can.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
Oh wow, I love a can recipe. You can kind
of count on these. And the recipe is it's just
literally two pictures of the can or two cans, and
then the cheese. Yeah, fifty percent less fat. That means
nothing to anybody.

Speaker 3 (32:34):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
And for the listener reviewer, if you want to know,
this essentially requires two cups of macaroni. You need three
quarters of a pound of cheese, so that's about a
tenth of what you've given me here, and then a
third cup milk and an eighth of tablespoon or teaspoon
of pepper. That's almost nothing. And then you just cook

(32:54):
all of that, I assume, boil the macaroni, and then
throw it all together. What an easy recipe. This is
a recipe podcasts.

Speaker 3 (33:00):
Now Okay, great.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
This is our first official recipe. It brought to us
by Velveda.

Speaker 3 (33:07):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
Do you have any other favorite dips?

Speaker 3 (33:14):
Oh? My whole thing right now? Do you know lobna
the like?

Speaker 2 (33:18):
Oh? I love labnar, Yes, of course, So I like to.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
Take lobna because it's also it's a little healthier than
like mixing mayonnaise and sour cream together. I take lobna
and I pour a packet of the Inden Valley ranch.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
This is a great idea of powder, yes, of course,
and then eat vegetables. Yes, I do this with cottage cheese.
You blend up cottage cheese with ranch.

Speaker 3 (33:42):
I actually use cottae cheese when I make macaroni and cheese.
There's a great recipe from the New York Times that's
like you take cottage cheese and then you add like
mustard powder and cayenna and like nutmeg, and then you
blend it up with milk and cheddar cheese, and it
becomes like the slurry.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
I don't love that word. It becomes essentially a slime.

Speaker 3 (34:08):
It becomes slightly viscousque kind of medium thick.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
You ruined eating macaroni and cheese for everyone. But it's
a good recipe. That's great, I'll send it to you, Okay, fantastic.
I'd love that they didn't give me your email address.
But oh yeah, I've specifically said do not give it
to Zeke. I can't have him emailing.

Speaker 3 (34:31):
I mean, there are there are so many armed guards
around us, like, I don't even like, why have me
on the podcast if you are so afraid of me.

Speaker 2 (34:38):
There's a little red dot on your forehead right now, I.

Speaker 3 (34:41):
Was told if I move out of the chair, I
will be shot.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
I'm excited about this mac and cheese recipe. Yeah, obviously
cottage cheese is having a huge moment. Yeah, massive moment, which.

Speaker 3 (34:56):
Oh okay, well, I feel like everything that was cool
in the nineties is now cool again. Yes, like baggy jeans,
baggy jeans and cottage because cottage cheese was like the
diet food, right it was like, oh, I'm watching my weight,
I'm having lettuce cups and cottage h nebresca.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
Yes, And it's like, of course nobody liked that because
you're eating the worst version of it. But now we've
realized cottage cheese is wonderful, at least I have. I've
been crowing about it on this podcast for five years.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
I have a half used bucket of cottage cheese, and
my fridge should have brought that.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
I would have eaten the whole thing. I wouldn't have gagged.

Speaker 3 (35:31):
Now do you season it at all?

Speaker 2 (35:33):
It depends on what I'm doing, you know, like I am.
Sometimes I'll just have it with chips, a few chips.
Sometimes I'll have it with toast. Sometimes I'm trying to
like mix it up with because some people like it
with sweet things, and I don't know that I'm quite
on board with that yet, but I'll I might throw
some granola in there. Okay, I'm all over the map.
I'm also putting it in scrambled eggs. I'm trying to
and then I'll make my ranch dip. You're such a

(35:56):
boy from Utah.

Speaker 3 (35:57):
Oh You're like, You're like you're bringing cottage cheese back
to the culinary landscape of America. What do you eat
it with? Well, chimps and toast. Now, if I'm feeling crazy,
I'll put granola in it.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
And then ultimately I turn it into ranch. Well, excuse me, no,
I think cottage cheese. If you can find a way
that you enjoy it, what a miracle product.

Speaker 3 (36:23):
It's really I don't know too much about it. I
just know that they sell it in full fat and
low fat variety. But you to gull fat.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
There's no reason to get the low fat.

Speaker 3 (36:33):
No, that's another nineties That is.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
A nineties fat and the manufacturers of that product are predatory.
They should stop. They should only serve full fat cottage cheese.
I don't like the big curd one though.

Speaker 3 (36:44):
Oh you don't like a big curd. They like it
more like a slurry.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
I prefer a slush, a slurry, dairy slush.

Speaker 3 (36:52):
If they could just dispense it out of the seven
eleven slurpy dispensers.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
Right into it. Straw.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
It's one of those big, those big Boba straw.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
I'm not a Boba person.

Speaker 3 (37:08):
It's fine.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
I'm not a sweet tea person. So boba is sweet
tea with a texture that's hard for me, and then
it becomes a nightmare product.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
So what I like is at Westfield Centry City, which
is heaven. It's quite a mall it is they have
and of course I forget the name, but there's like
a bougie Boba place where you can choose your sugar level,
so if you want to do and they have like
nice things like a strawberry jasmine right. Oh, with strawberry
jasmin iced tea sounds nice, but I only want twenty
five percent of the sugar.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (37:38):
Interesting, and then I want strawberries at the bottom instead
of the boba pearls.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
Oh, so this is a little more my speed. So
I probably could get an unsweetened tea, yes, with dirt
at the bottom.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
Yes, Okay, that's put velveta in the bottom if you
want it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
I remember the first time I ever saw boba. It's
a long time ago at this point, but I thought, oh,
that looks so magical and exciting, and then I had
probably two SIPs. I was like, this is the worst
thing I've ever tried. And God blessed boba and everyone
who drinks it. But for me, I can't. The backwash
element of it feels strange. See.

Speaker 3 (38:11):
I discovered boba when I was like in high school.
I think I was at debate camp at the University
of Michigan. And of course all these kids who came
from the East Coast and from California, like they knew
what boba was. I was like, what is it? And
I always got like a a green apple slush with
the boba on the bottom, so it was like it
was like an icy and then the tap yoga pells

(38:33):
got like really hard, and so I wasn't like really
into that. But for me, it was all about getting
like the fruit slush.

Speaker 2 (38:39):
Oh right, of course I never would get.

Speaker 3 (38:41):
Like the like the milk tea.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
Right, yes, for me, I love the taste of tea,
but once it becomes sweetened, it's a it's like the
opposite of tea for me.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
Yeah. Culturally, I am from an unsweetened ice team part
of the country.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
Oh interesting because I kind of would have assumed you
were from a sweetened tea part of the country.

Speaker 3 (38:58):
No, no, no, that's southwest West, remember.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
Right, Sure, you guys have the right idea exactly on
sweet and icy. I'll drink it all day.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
Yeah, it's great.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
Put a teaspoon of sugar in that, and I'm throw
it in the garbage.

Speaker 3 (39:11):
Yeah. I'm also not a big believer in like squeezing
lemon in iced team.

Speaker 2 (39:15):
Okay, So now now we're going to get in a fight. Okay, fine,
you know like the sourness of the lemon.

Speaker 3 (39:20):
No, well, I actually prefer My favorite form of iced
tea is a mint iced tea.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
Oh sure, if.

Speaker 3 (39:26):
You ever been to Fresh Corn Grill in West.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
Hollywood, I have once.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
They do a mint iced tea. Okay, and if you
drink it all while you're there, they'll give you it
to go.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
Ones. Oh I love a free refill, free refills. I
think we're gonna lose them soon. And I'm so afraid.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
You know this is it's it's very interesting because growing up,
I'm sure you remember this too. You go to a
restaurant and you got a court glass. Yes, I got
three pints in a big red plastic glass, enough for
the whole family. Yeah, and you drink half of it,
they bring a new one. And that's how it was.
We never drink water with a meal. We just went

(40:06):
right up to the soda fountain import it right in
our mouths. But now, and I remember the first time
we went to New York and we had to like
pay per diet coke. Oh, and my family's just like that.
That was the thing. That really threw them about New York.

Speaker 2 (40:22):
Of course, not the whole says.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
It was like, you're making me pay per dik and
I gotta finish it, and then I gotta like wave it,
and I got asked.

Speaker 2 (40:29):
For another one. Unacceptable.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
Yes, So we found this pizza place called John's Pizzaia,
very famous, and there for five dollars, they'd give you
a picture of diet pepsi, so we would sit down
and immediately orderly.

Speaker 2 (40:43):
If you find something like that in New York, I mean,
I'm there, I'm there. I'm trying to think of other
places in New York I'll go for a free refill,
and I'm coming up blank. You have to go to
essentially a chain. Yeah, it's been a minute.

Speaker 3 (40:55):
I even't I lived in Los Angeles for like nine
years at this point, and I did nine years in
New York before.

Speaker 2 (41:03):
Yeah, I can't think of a free refoo place. Yeah,
I remember.

Speaker 3 (41:06):
The only place where you could probably get a free
refill is if you go to a bar and order
a non alcoholic memory right.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
And even there, I think it's gonna be tough. I
think it's going to and they'll probably look at you
like you're insane, like you're getting another soda, so.

Speaker 3 (41:20):
It's wow, do you really need another?

Speaker 2 (41:24):
The judgment there is really harsh. Yeah, but I feel
like ten years from now, a free refill will be
a thing of the past. And I don't know what
I'm going to do personally, I'm gonna have a meltdown.

Speaker 3 (41:34):
Well, you know, as far as sugar sodas go, it's
still largely made with corn syrup.

Speaker 2 (41:40):
Yes, and we grow a lot of corn here. Yeah,
So I don't know.

Speaker 3 (41:45):
Let's not speculate about the world. You were saying ninety
We began like ninety years at a in the future
at an estate sale, and I was like, girl, the
country's not going to make it ninety the planet's not
going to make it ninety years on a plane to
go to Mars.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
This cheese will be the emperor of Earth in ninety years. Yeah,
and to rise up and because cheese, I do feel
like you see a crockpot at a lot of a
state sales.

Speaker 3 (42:12):
Yeah, I mean, look, I'm a big believer in a
slow cooker. This is not when you want to actually
like cook things like.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
A dangerous product. I'm so afraid to use this.

Speaker 3 (42:25):
That's why it's just for Kso I have this exact
same crock pot in my home.

Speaker 2 (42:29):
And it is do you have another crockpot for other things?
I do?

Speaker 3 (42:33):
I do so many moons ago I did like, they
probably don't do this anymore. I went to go like
give a talk for Pride Month at Whirlpool in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Great,
and I was brought there by like you know, the
DEI right, and they were like, we can We're only
authorized to pay you so much in cash, but then

(42:54):
we have sort of like an unlimited budget to give you.

Speaker 2 (42:57):
Heaven Whirlpool products.

Speaker 3 (42:59):
So they all so kitchen aid is under that sure umbrella.
So I got like a seven hundred dollars slow cooker
and it has like an attachment with like an arm
so it can like stir wostantly. And again I was Nico.
My husband and I were just starting to date, and uh,
you know, he's on this like big television show and

(43:20):
this big flashy person and not trying to like, well,
I can get cool stuff too, So I send them
and I'm like, you know I can get I can.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Get all the free appliances I want.

Speaker 3 (43:29):
Do you want an appliance? And so he he looks
at it and this is this is very him. He
finds like a one thousand dollars kitchen aid mixer.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
Oh, I mean this is I was going to ask
you this because I would love I have a nice
kitchen aid mixer at home, but if I was given
carte blanche with kitchen Aid mixers, I'd have ten in
my home.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
Yeah, and he picked out like it's a special limited edition.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
Matt Black Latman's Kitchen Aid mixer.

Speaker 3 (43:57):
They're individually numbered because they only make Like, so, I
really want to impress this guy.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
I'm really into.

Speaker 3 (44:04):
So I email the people and I'm like, if this
is too much, it's okay, here you go. And not
only did they send me the kitchen Aid mixer, which
I you know, got to kind of like, yeah, they
sent me two of the slow cookers, and they were
willing to.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
Send a budget they've got for this.

Speaker 3 (44:23):
I know they were willing to send me like a
washing machine, yes, forget a dishwasher. But I lived in
an apartment in West Hollywood. Like, I didn't open a
showroom and sell these things. I know now, I'm like,
we had to replace our washer and dryer in our
our home that we purchased five years ago because the
people we bought the home from stole the washer and dryer.
Oh we bought our home from They have great they

(44:44):
had impeccable taste. So the house is really well done.
But they were terrible people. So when you when you
buy a home, you set a date that you're going
to hand over the keys. It was we'd had problems
and then it was like two weeks before we were
about to move into the home. And this is like
peak COVID, right, so like life is complicated. We email them,

(45:08):
we don't hear back. I email them again and they're like, yeah,
we might be out at the outdate, what we might
and then it was like no, ma'am. And then so
what we had done was, you know, there was the
date of the sale and then they wanted to have
two months more in the house while they finished figuring

(45:29):
out where they were going to live. And we're like, okay, fine, whatever,
And so then technically we became because then we owned
the house and they were our renters.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
Wow, technically, what a hassle.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
So the guy wrote back and was like, my child
is had cancer. I mean he had been cured for years. Okay,
but because the child had cancer. He didn't want to
leave the house because of COVID restrictions, and the way
that the law worked was like, you can't kick someone
out of their home for uh having COVID health restrictions.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
Oh interesting, So I was, we have fucking squatters.

Speaker 3 (46:06):
They're trying to squaw so we had to get lawyers involved. Weird,
and it was like it was such a hassle to
finally get them out. And when you buy a house,
they're like the things that are like included in the
house price and then the things that aren't. So like
your couch is your furniture, but anything that is like
bolted to the wall, like light fixtures or Washington dryer

(46:29):
or like cabinets in the garage, that's.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
Part of the house, right right.

Speaker 3 (46:32):
So when we were doing this walkthrough, when like we
became the leasers and renters whatever, he was talking about
all these like vintage light fixtures, which they are they're beautiful, sure,
And he was like, yeah, we can talk about if
you want to buy those from us, And I was like, no, ma'am, sir,
ma'am sir, we own these. These are part of de Yeah,

(46:54):
And like the guy like we're like, you have to
specifically exclude those, and like it was not excluded, and
then he wanted to fire his realtor, which he ultimately did,
and in his realtor, in an attempt to sort of salvage,
it was like, what if I just give you five
thousand dollars like out of my own pocket. And so

(47:14):
we looked up all the light fixtures and they were
like forty thousand dollars worth of light fixtures. Who they're
like really cool vintage pieces. So we're like, no, no,
And if like we come to the house and the
light fixtures aren't there.

Speaker 2 (47:27):
A lawsuit called the cops. Yes, they're stolen.

Speaker 3 (47:31):
Yeah, so we come finally we get to take over
the house. The light fixtures are still there, but they'd
taken the washer and dryer, and they had all these
like cabinets in the garage which were sort of like
piece together, right, they weren't like pieces that you got
from Ikia, And they had taken all of the cabinets
out of the garage as well.

Speaker 2 (47:50):
What what was the expectation of this person when they
sold the home? Are they not familiar with the idea
of selling an object?

Speaker 1 (47:57):
You know?

Speaker 3 (47:57):
It was It was so weird. It was like we
were four seeing them out of their home.

Speaker 2 (48:01):
Yeah, it was somebody like holding someone out, like we
paid well over asking you of course during that time period, Yeah, wow,
it was It was nuts. Yeah, there was something else
going on, something dark. Someone had a gun. They were
holding a gun to these people.

Speaker 3 (48:17):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
Interesting, Maybe it was you. Maybe you're not telling us
the whole stories. Can you force these poor people out
of their house? Took their like fixtures.

Speaker 3 (48:26):
After paying them quite over asking price. I gave them
more money than they asked off for their home and
they were like okay, and then I was.

Speaker 2 (48:35):
Like, get out of there, it's mine now.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
Wow, another crazy little story if we have time, of course,
so the uh it was a husband and a wife
and a child, and we only interacted with the husband.
But after they moved out and we moved in. Every
now and again a package would come to the address
address to the previous owners, which like sure you know,

(48:59):
and she text me and be like, hey, you know,
my aunt sent a gift for my my son. Can
you you know, put it out on the and I'll
come grabbing like yeah, not a problem, it's a gift
for your trump people don't know you've moved.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
But then like the six month.

Speaker 3 (49:14):
Mark passed, which is like the acceptable time, yes, And
then like every three or four months a package would
come for her and she would text me and be like, oh, hey,
I'm gonna not.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
Like you're now just like the post office, right.

Speaker 3 (49:30):
And so after we got to like the two year mark,
and she texted me to have the like telling me
when to have the package out for her, and I
was like, this has got to stop. We're going to
be doing this for decades if we don't stop. So
I didn't respond to her. And then she showed up
at the the time that she had decided wow, and

(49:51):
she's calling me and texting me, and I'm like, I'm
not responding, and she's ringing the doorbell. So our yard
is like gated in sure, So she then, I guess,
punches in her her access code, which we thought we
had deleted from the memory but had not. She punches
in the access comes into the yard, looks around, doesn't

(50:14):
see it. And then I wasn't home, but my husband was,
so and my husband he's Filipino, and he comes out
to the porch and because it's like what the fuck
just happened, like because we could see on the security cameras.
And he opens the gate and she's like, oh hi,
I'm you know who used to live here. I just

(50:36):
came from my package. And but like speaks like down
to him because she thinks he's like yeah, like the
I don't know. Uh, And she goes and he's like, man,
this is our property. You have entered it illegally. You
need to not you need to stop sending your ship
here because we're done.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
Good for him, How did you react?

Speaker 3 (50:59):
She was like, uh, she like didn't know what to
you know, she was a white lady who was like
spoken with fourth.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
She was oh also for her, like what is your
life that that's convenient for you? Get control of your life?

Speaker 3 (51:14):
I know, but a mess. And it's like and it
was all it would be like one bra or like
one pair of ply its like it would be this
like minuscule style.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
Right.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
There was one time where it was some sort of
like tea she brought bought off Instagram.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
Like clearly, wow, what a menace? Yes, I mean whatever,
good for her ultimately just kind of steamrolling everyone in
her life. Alright, p H, Well I think we should
play a game. Okay, We're gonna play a game called
Gift Master, but I need a number between one and
ten from you. Okay, I have to do some light

(51:52):
calculating to get our game pieces. So right now you
can promote, recommend, do whatever you want.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
I'll be right back. So I'm on the board of
directors of a wonderful organization called LAD and we work
in LGBTQ representation in media. Well you probably know it's
from the GLAD Awards, which are super fun. If you
would like to donate to our very important work right now,
you can go to GLAD dot org or you can
holler at me at z Kerchief on Instagram and my

(52:17):
email is just Zkerchief at gmail. So if you would
like to get if you were a person of consequence
and influence and would like to get involved with GLAD
and promoting LGBTQ plus quality, we would love to work
with you. Or if you want to give us moneies,
please feel free to holler at me as well. And also,
if you are a showrunner and you are staffing a

(52:38):
comedy writers m right now, I would love to send
you my samples and be an asset to your team.
So hire me and give me money, or donate to
Glad and give me money. Money means the economy is
great right now.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
So it's a time where people are feeling very generous.
Well ultimately, what I'd say, especially the entertainment industry has
never been better, right There are simply jobs everywhere for
the take, No, I mean, uh yeah, what a nightmare everything?

Speaker 3 (53:09):
Uh my obvious. My husband's an actor. I'm a writer,
and my husband has been traveling too far off land
so much like you know, Atlanta and Connecticut to film
over the price and it's just really inconvenient, particularly now
that we have a puppy.

Speaker 2 (53:25):
Sure, a child in infants, yes, of course.

Speaker 3 (53:28):
And uh, my dad. I was going to Burbank to
pick up my dad. He was flying in to see me,
and I saw that there was like new studio construction
around the Burbank airport and not far from here, and
I like, I immediately called my husband. I was like,
Warner Brothers is building new studio space. That must be
you know, maybe it's just for the like the tax deduction,
but maybe there's hope it's coming back.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
Oh I hope. So I really don't understand what's happening
in the television industry. It's very scary. Yeah, listener, what
can I recommend her promote? Well, I've got to be
about telling you that we have merch available. Go to
exactly rightstore dot com. We've got merch and you know,
if you want leave a user review or a listener review,

(54:09):
do whatever you want to support the podcast. We're also
on Instagram. Blah blah blah.

Speaker 3 (54:13):
Do you ever sell the gifts that people bring you?

Speaker 2 (54:15):
I have never sold one. I've started giving them away
at live shows. Okay, because you know I've We've done
I think two hundred and fifty episodes and that's a
lot of items to have.

Speaker 3 (54:24):
Well, you have a store, we could just.

Speaker 2 (54:26):
Get on there and start auctioning them off or just
put them on he may. Yeah, that's true. Can you
imagine the scandal for djer wineger is selling the gifts?

Speaker 3 (54:34):
I didn't want them in the place.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
It's very clear. Okay, and everybody donate to Glad. What
a great organization. Hire Zeke Higher. Television writers in general,
it's a nightmare. This is how we play gift Master. Okay,
I'm going to name three people, three celebrities, and three gifts.
Three things you can give away. Okay, you're gonna tell
me which gift you would give to which person? And

(54:58):
why does that make pay? Perfect sense? Okay. The three
celebrities today are Number one, dough Chi We love Doci.

Speaker 3 (55:04):
Oh yes, I got to meet her at the Gladaward.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
You're kidding. Yeah, Oh I'm so jealous.

Speaker 3 (55:07):
Yeah, she won a glad Award.

Speaker 2 (55:09):
Wow, that's amazing. I mean she deserves a lot of awards.
I mean the kind of almost Missy Elliott level visual
music interaction at this point.

Speaker 3 (55:17):
Hers speature is actually fantastic. You can like look it
up on YouTube.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
Very inspiring. Oh that's amazing, great, okay. Number two Diane Sawyer.

Speaker 3 (55:25):
Oh love, where's she been?

Speaker 2 (55:27):
Is she dead? I'm gonna google it. Diane Sawyer live.

Speaker 3 (55:32):
Such a fixture in the news world growing.

Speaker 2 (55:36):
Up, still alive?

Speaker 3 (55:38):
Great? Uh?

Speaker 2 (55:41):
First name, Leela. We're learning something about Diane right now.

Speaker 3 (55:45):
I guess it sounded too ethnic.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
Leela Sawyer, Leela, Diane Sawyer, Diane Sawyer and she's seventy nine.

Speaker 3 (55:53):
Oh good for her.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
Happy birthday, Diane, whenever your birthday is okay. And number
three the Green Goblin kind of a spider man's nemesis.
And the three things you'll be giving these people. This
first one is from a listener. We don't we get
listener suggestions for the other game we play, but this
is a rare one. This is from a listener named Ashley.
The gift is a Hi Ashley, A full hour of

(56:15):
watching an expectant parent open gifts at a baby shower.
That's kind of an experience. The second one is also
an experience, which is a near death experience, and number
three a reusable water bottle. So doci Diane Sawyer Green Goblin,
a full hour of watching an expectant parent open gifts

(56:36):
at a baby shower, a near death experience, and a
reusable water bottle.

Speaker 3 (56:41):
Okay, I got it, So I am going to give
the here's the thing, green Goblin. There's also a plumbing
product called the green Gobbler. Really yeah, that's like a
more environmentally friendly version of drainaw.

Speaker 2 (56:56):
Wow, Disney's going to sue them into the ground. Maybe.

Speaker 3 (57:00):
I don't know. It's a good product. I just bought
some recently. Hard Yeah, so instead of like plunging your
toilet when you plug it, which I'm sure you do
on the regular branch, eating all that cheese.

Speaker 2 (57:11):
My home is just overflowing. Oh that's so cross.

Speaker 3 (57:14):
You can just pour it in and shut the lid
and like leave it for five hours and then flush
it on scarn.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
It's like a draino type product.

Speaker 3 (57:20):
Yeah, but it's more environmentally friendly, much safer. Yeah, green
gobbler just pure acid. Yeah, donate to glad and buy
some green gobbler. They're probably trumpers. I don't know. I
went and I had to go find it, and it's
hardware because we can't go to home.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
Deep word, it's just never ending.

Speaker 3 (57:39):
Yes, we won't have any money soon, so it's fine.
Everything will just be the barter economy. But yes, so
the green Goblin, I think he has had plenty of
near death experiences, right, old hat right, So I don't
think that is gonna because a near death experience can
really be like life changing and beautiful. And we also
don't want to give him anything beautiful. So I think
he's a bad guy. We want to torture him and

(58:01):
just make him watch an expected parent open.

Speaker 2 (58:03):
Gifts and what a guest at a baby shower. Yeah,
he flies through the window and then he's sitting there
quietly while the parent is opening the gifts.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
Right, and what story the parent can tell their child.

Speaker 2 (58:15):
Of course, what an amazing experience to have this man
in kind of just armor his hovercrafts just in your
living room.

Speaker 3 (58:23):
Well exactly, and you know, maybe he can be the
gift of new life and the joy and love of
expected parents can have some sort of a transformative effect
on his heart. And I lead him to Christ and
to give up his evil ways.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
And what a godfather to have? Yeah, my godfather is
the green Goblin.

Speaker 3 (58:39):
Yeah, oh, you have Spider Man at your birthday?

Speaker 2 (58:42):
Well, the real Spider Man.

Speaker 3 (58:44):
He drove a Toyota gorolla. I once as a child,
and I'll never forget it. Went to a birthday party.
But I guess we were a little bit late and
the like Batman like pulled up and this like jumped
as far and like stubbed out his sick. I was like, Batman,
that's not the batmobile.

Speaker 2 (59:01):
Batman has hit a rough patch, spend.

Speaker 3 (59:03):
They didn't make him like park around the block.

Speaker 2 (59:07):
Not a great bat He should have known to park
around the block.

Speaker 3 (59:10):
Right, That should probably just be standard operating procedure. If
you're a character, h and a non public character, you
know when you're not just standing on the street trying
to harass people. But when you're a hired character, this
is professional hum. Okay, So I think that means, and

(59:31):
I mean this in a beautiful way. In order to
encourage her art and her growth as an artist and
a truth teller and someone who brings a new perspective
to the world, I'm going to give Dote the near
death ex Oh, I like this. Diane Sawyer too close
to death. Yeah, yeah, she's had enough.

Speaker 2 (59:51):
She'll get it soon enough.

Speaker 3 (59:53):
I don't want to bother her. She probably has a
nice ranch out in like you know, Palm Springs. She
has done her duty to the country by reporting the
news faithfully and truthfully for decades. And like I'll give
you a water bottle and leave you alone, give it
to your gardener, give it to your grandchild, thank you

(01:00:13):
for your service.

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
And she probably is. Probably she might be forgetting to
hydrate anyway at this point.

Speaker 3 (01:00:18):
Oh exactly. I mean, I will say, reusable toads. I
don't need anymore. I have too many. I have to
buy ten cents, you know, a bag for ten cents
at Ralphs, and those those raups bags are very sturdy, right,
And I should remember to bring them, and sometimes I
even put them in my car and then just don't
remember to bring them in.

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Of course it's a thing.

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
But reusable water bottles.

Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
I'll take them off. I'll absolutely, absolutely, I think Doc's
gonna do an excellent job with a near death experience,
not a death experience, right, just gets close and then
comes back hopefully doesn't well.

Speaker 3 (01:00:52):
As it was pitched, it was a near death experience
with no risk of death occurring. That's at least the
way I problem.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
No, absolutely, there's no risk of death.

Speaker 3 (01:01:00):
So it's like it could be as minor as like skydiving.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
Right yeah, I guess that kind of technically is a
near death experience.

Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
Because you are hurtling out of an airplane.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
Right right, Yeah, So I mean sheese today was a
near death experience. I can't. I could not possibly skydive
is because you're not allowed to expose your skin to the.

Speaker 3 (01:01:21):
S when you're outside.

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
I probably should at this point. No, my I think
I probably would ultimately enjoy it. But my fear is
that at that moment of about to jumping to jump
out of the plane, and you have the person behind you,
the trait or what are the expert I think that
the animal instinct in my body would take over in
such a strong way.

Speaker 3 (01:01:43):
And you would try to kill him.

Speaker 2 (01:01:45):
I think of an attack or like cause a thing
that would ultimately lead to my death and probably their
death as well, And I don't trust my primal instincts
to be in control enough. Have you ever gone, I've
never gone.

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
It's I'm kind of like an venture junkie, so it's
very much appeals to me. However, I was I threw
so I was the best man at my best friend's wedding.
He is a six' four heterosexual honkman From New, jersey
and so we went to The poconos with like thirty
hooligans From New, jersey and one of, them the guy

(01:02:21):
who got the, drunkest the, fastest and the most often
tried to start the most fights pete on people off
of the like the deck, no and like started like
throwing firecrackers into the. House he was a skydiving. Instructor oh,
interesting AND i hear he's gotten sober and he's like
bought in his own plane and he's like doing very.

(01:02:41):
Well but the idea that that's the person WHO i
would be trusting with my life an airplane really gives me.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
Pause, yes, yeah you don't really think about the professional
behind the, jump.

Speaker 3 (01:02:54):
Right, yeah you know you want to think they're like
fresh out of The Air, force right and then you,
know highly tactical practitioner and. Whatever but, no it's like
probably some twenty three year old they failed out of
community college jumping out of. Airplanes, yeah, yeah you have
no idea what that that person might be having a bad.

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
Day oh, no thank. YOU i went indoor. Skydiving, Yeah
i've seen.

Speaker 3 (01:03:16):
THAT i want to try.

Speaker 2 (01:03:17):
That somebody gave it to me as a gift on this,
Podcast FLY I, fly and it was a it was
enough for. Me did you do it At? CityWalk i
did it At, CityWalk and going to City walk alone
is kind of a near death, experience so it was
thrilling in every way for. ME i recommend it. Once.

Speaker 6 (01:03:33):
Maybe.

Speaker 3 (01:03:33):
Yeah the parking At CityWalk is is, tough, atrocious but
it is if you want to go to like DOING
imax or like a big you, know big sure movie viewing,
experience or you want to buy out a theater for
like five hundred bucks or forty people, wow WHICH i do.
Frequently you, know people pay me, back, right which of,
Course but like we wanted to go See wicked not

(01:03:56):
surrounded by? Teenagers right's right for gays adults?

Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
Only? Sure shall we bought it out and Saw?

Speaker 3 (01:04:03):
Wicked?

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
Wow? Yeah or like.

Speaker 3 (01:04:07):
Guy brandon is a FRIEND i mentioned him, Earlier we
bought out one and we did a bro.

Speaker 2 (01:04:10):
Screening, wow this is.

Speaker 3 (01:04:12):
Great, yeah we did it For.

Speaker 2 (01:04:13):
Cruella behinding out five hundred bucks does not seem that
crazy for a movie, THEATER i.

Speaker 3 (01:04:16):
Know and you can fit forty people in, there so,
right if you like divvy it, up it works. Out
but the parking situation over there is is atrocious.

Speaker 2 (01:04:23):
Parking at a theme. Park, yes it's not for. Me,
okay it's time you played the game very. Well by the,
way we've got to answer a listener. Question. Great we've
got people sending in voice, notes, emails all kinds of
things TO i, said no gifts at gmail dot. COM
i think we'll do a voice note, Today, onalise could
we hear a voice? Note Hello bridger And.

Speaker 6 (01:04:45):
Aalise i'm not going to be telling you my name
for reasons that may become clear in a, second BECAUSE
i am looking for your assistance in some ideas of
HOW i can exact petty. Revenge there's a member of
my family who has greatly greatly screwed over the rest
of my family in ways that are monumental and indeed,
irreversible AND i don't want to cause any property. DAMAGE

(01:05:09):
i don't want to cause him any physical, harm BUT
i do want to annoy him for the rest of his.
Life if you have any, THOUGHTS i thought perhaps that maybe, You,
bridger have tried to exact revenge on some of your ungrateful,
guests and maybe you would be willing to share some
of your favorite techniques with.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
Me thank you so much for your. Help mmmmmm. INTERESTING
i wonder what happened in this. Situation this seems like
a genuine. Problem what did this family member?

Speaker 3 (01:05:36):
DO i that's Very that's WHAT i have to do with,
money like absconded with something that was supposed to be
everyone's general, inheritance, right you know? RIGHT i have two
ideas for petty. Revenge, oh, yes well ONE i SO
i had a friend who moved in with a girlfriend

(01:05:58):
right before the, pandemic, okay and then the girlfriend was.

Speaker 2 (01:06:01):
LIKE i want to break up with.

Speaker 3 (01:06:02):
You you have to. Leave, oh and we're talking Like
april twenty.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
Twenty, oh that's like. Him, Sorry april twenty. Twenty everybody
had to just stay in the relationship for at least another, month.

Speaker 3 (01:06:15):
And she like went and like stayed with her. Family
And i'm, like, why why does my friend need to
give up the apartment when you can go stay with
your family and my friend doesn't have that. Option so
my WHAT i told her is that she should right
before she hands the keys back, over she should take
a massive dump in the toilet and not flush. It,
great SO i would, say should you go to this

(01:06:36):
man's house and visit, him you should encourage everyone to
not flush and to blow up each individual.

Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
Bathroom, everybody get as sick as humanly, possible.

Speaker 3 (01:06:48):
Go and house some taco bell, yes get a Cheesy gordida,
crunch and then you you give him.

Speaker 2 (01:06:54):
Head over To. Darryl's, okay that's a good. One the
second one is. Glitter oh we're.

Speaker 3 (01:07:01):
Sand glitter never goes. Away you go and you just
smear glitter on all of the surfaces of his. Home
he will be cleaning it out for. Decades he will
probably die of the microplastics that he and jests as
a result of.

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
It fill up an envelope with that and mail it to. Him,
yeah mail a. Package this is. GREAT a box full
of sand with a loose, bottom.

Speaker 3 (01:07:25):
Don't tell me with a good time.

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
He picks this thing. Up life? Ruined any sand. GLITTER
i think those are two of the anthrax anthrax is
always an. Option those all feel like a decent petty go.

Speaker 3 (01:07:44):
Find an infected, cow like get That Benedict cumberbatch.

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
Film is that where anthrax comes? From? ANTHRAX i feel
LIKE i know where is anthrax.

Speaker 3 (01:07:58):
Leg it's not like the bubonic.

Speaker 2 (01:08:01):
Plague, Now i'm so.

Speaker 5 (01:08:02):
Curious anthrax spores are formed by anthrax bacteria that occur
naturally in soil in most parts of the.

Speaker 2 (01:08:09):
World, okay so just some dirty. SOIL i feel like
glitter is such a good way to just kind of
you could even just dump it in his. Car there's
so many ways to get glitter into a person's life
and it will never.

Speaker 3 (01:08:23):
Exit, yeah you could also think of this if you want,
to because She's she's, like you, KNOW i want to
torture him for the rest of his. Life so there's
all sorts of like fun petty pranks of like saran
wrapping his car shot, right right right when you know
that he's gonna like he's running late for, work if
you can find a way to saran wrap his car

(01:08:43):
and then ensure that he's running late for, work and
then he has a saran wrap car and once he
gets in steering wheel covered in, glitter, right just like
make it like a fun thing you do with your
family every six, months or like for the, holidays you,
know like for the, holidays we're going to plan a
new prank to prank Uncle. Frank you, know it could

(01:09:03):
be a great way to bring the family back to.

Speaker 2 (01:09:05):
You of, course you have a common animate at this.
Point what more do you? Need that should just like
there should be like a almost a sure chart that
every year one member of the family gets to destroy
this guy's. Life, yeah AND i, said, MAIL i feel
like sell his, address oh, yeah or email?

Speaker 3 (01:09:20):
Address oh you could give his address and phone number
to The church Of Jesus. CHRIST a lot of Day.

Speaker 7 (01:09:26):
Saints former member sitting right, Here, YEAH i can tell
what gave it, away and then you, know send some
nice missionaries over to his.

Speaker 3 (01:09:36):
Home could do the same with.

Speaker 2 (01:09:37):
Scientology scientology is a brutal. One those people will not
leave you alone and they. Are they don't pick up social.
Cues i'll say, that. No And jehovah's.

Speaker 3 (01:09:48):
Witnesses, yes Though jehovah's, WITNESSES i feel LIKE i are
a little more, mild you think.

Speaker 2 (01:09:53):
So the ones in my neighborhood have been relentless. Recently
really it's hard because they're like, nice But i'm just
leave me. Alone i'm not. Interested. Please this is why
we have a locked. Fence this is WHY i have
a door on my, home.

Speaker 3 (01:10:09):
Ghett i've only Had jehovah's witnesses like you'll see them
ount with like a rack of pamphlets on the subway
In New york or a public. Place they sometimes are
at lax which is another reason to avoid, it or
at The. Americana, yes but they're never especially Like i'm
holding hands on my.

Speaker 2 (01:10:26):
Husband of, COURSE i will, say if these people come
to your, door be nice to. Them i'm a former
missionary and it's a miserable.

Speaker 3 (01:10:33):
Experience where did you?

Speaker 2 (01:10:34):
SERVE i was In East? Malaysia oh, WOW i. WAS
i was supposed to be there for two. Years was
there for four or five? MONTHS i. Guess then then
you have a, breakdown et, cetera et. Cetera BUT i was, There,
yeah and it was.

Speaker 3 (01:10:47):
HORRIBLE i you, Know i'm so sorry you had a horrible.

Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
EXPERIENCE i appreciate.

Speaker 3 (01:10:52):
That there is part of me that sort of loves
The mormon mission culture because the idea that you take
an eighteen year old out of high school and then
you you go and you teach them how to speak
a new, language and you give this like impossible task
to them where people are going to be like mean
and unkind and they have to figure it out and
they have to write letters home and they can't have

(01:11:12):
phones and they can't call it all that. Stuff that
you go and you give them this experience where they
have to like live by meager means and be part.

Speaker 2 (01:11:20):
Of a new.

Speaker 3 (01:11:20):
Culture and then after that they get to go to.

Speaker 2 (01:11:23):
College, well there's there are ups and. Downs, sure it's
a little wing, CLIPPY i will, say, yes because they
don't get to read anything but scripture the whole. Time
and while your brain is, Forming, yes it's a little
a little tough to be like you're a child for
the next two, years your brain should be.

Speaker 3 (01:11:43):
Well i'm not saying everyone go be A mormon, missionary
but some sort of experience like that where there is
an open literature contingency in whatever you, Want, christy.

Speaker 2 (01:11:57):
That should be kind of a required thing for every
eight year. Olds something that's just like you leave hometown
and experience something slightly more difficult where you're going to.

Speaker 3 (01:12:06):
Learn and, obviously like so many people have so many
challenging upbrings here In, America i'm thinking more about like suburban.

Speaker 2 (01:12:13):
White, kids private school students.

Speaker 3 (01:12:14):
Exactly, yes if you go to private, school.

Speaker 2 (01:12:17):
You have to be always started on. That but trust,
ME i, went oh you. Did, yeah well you should
be off building houses. SOMEWHERE i sho my dad's.

Speaker 3 (01:12:28):
Catigry there we, go there we.

Speaker 2 (01:12:29):
Go, NO i think That i'm kind of on board
with that. Idea how did we get To mormon missionaries
from petty? Revenge? Oh, yes send the missionaries to give
up somebody's address, PHONE i guess ultimately docs this.

Speaker 3 (01:12:43):
Man, YEAH i MEAN i think that's just the thing
is like whatever you, know one eight hundred number you
can sign up with just your phone number and then
it just bills your telephone.

Speaker 2 (01:12:52):
Company, yeah sign them up for free karate lessons at
one of those they have those, restaurants et.

Speaker 3 (01:12:57):
CETERA i was once seeking sort of like nonviolent kind
of secret ways to get revenge on. Someone and they
don't have it. Anymore but it used to be that
if you went to The department Of Homeland, security you
could sign up for sign up anyone's phone number for.
Updates oh and so there would be like fire, updates

(01:13:18):
and there there's one hundred and twenty, things and you
could just hit select all and then the phones would
just get constantly spammed with all of these updates and
people had to like change their phone.

Speaker 2 (01:13:28):
Numbers you can't do it.

Speaker 3 (01:13:29):
Anymore but that's another, thing is just to go and
sign up his phone for all these people who are
just gonna like call him and text him all the.

Speaker 2 (01:13:37):
Time somebody get in the comments and tell us some
of these new things you can sign people up. FOR
i think we should all have that in our back,
pocket a way to basically ruin someone's. Life, oh we
answered the question, Perfectly, okay. GREAT i feel like there
was a range of, ideas a range of ideas a
whole you, know just pick and. Choose it's a. Buffet

(01:13:58):
whatever however you want to destroy, him do.

Speaker 3 (01:14:00):
It we'll do, it but like do it in like fun.
Ways that don't ultimately hurt people that just are, annoying, right.

Speaker 2 (01:14:07):
Or watch Kill bill and kind of follow that.

Speaker 3 (01:14:09):
Formula on the advice of my, ATTORNEY i refuse to
support that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:13):
Idea, YEAH i probably. Do, AH i have my beautiful crock.
Pot i've got my gorgeous.

Speaker 3 (01:14:23):
Cheese, YEAH i MEAN i think it's been unwrapped for
a little too long to be. Affected now you can
already see it's like becoming even more neon on the
edges where.

Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
It's, wow oh it's off. Gassing, wow this room is becoming.
Toxic look at. That what a. Product, Well i've got
to make some, case so may do with a different.

Speaker 3 (01:14:46):
Gotta give it a nice little we'll.

Speaker 2 (01:14:47):
Do one final. Spank, wow.

Speaker 3 (01:14:53):
That's sounds so. Naughty it is weirdly.

Speaker 2 (01:14:57):
Sacond that is a bizarre. Thing that's essentially it's a
Great american. Invention, Zeke thank you for the. Gift thank
you for being. Here how it's my pleasure and. Listener
the podcast is. Over set the crock, Pot start making
yourself some. Cheese do whatever you. Want i'm not in
charge of. You that's your. Duty i'll talk to you.

(01:15:18):
SOON i love. You, GOODBYE i said No gifts is
an exactly right. Production our senior producer is ON A Lisa,
nelson and our episodes are beautifully mixed By Ben. Tolliday
the theme song is By Miracle Worker Amy, mann and
we couldn't do it without our, Booker Patrick. Cottner you

(01:15:41):
must follow the show On. Instagram AT i, said no,
gifts that's where you're going to see pictures of all
these wonderful Gifts i'm. Getting and don't you want to
see the gifts?

Speaker 1 (01:15:50):
Line?

Speaker 2 (01:15:50):
Man did you hear?

Speaker 1 (01:15:54):
Fun a man myself perfectly? Clear when YOU'RE i guessed,
him you gotta come to me, Empty AND i, said no,
guests your own, presences presents EN i already had too much,

(01:16:15):
Stuff so how do you dare to surbey me

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Bridger Winegar

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Zeke Smith Disobeys Bridger