February 5, 2025 • 37 mins
This week on In Our Own World, it’s all about you—your questions, your dilemmas, and the things keeping you up at night (literally and figuratively). From getting a baby to sleep longer than three hours to dealing with anxiety, making big life changes, and staying true to yourself in a tough industry, why your ex keeps haunting your dreams, how to handle a coworker stealing your ideas, and what it really takes to build a support system in a new city.
Want to learn to sing? Need advice on a tricky situation? We listen and we don’t judge—no matter how strange, saucy, or surprising the question. Tune in for laughs, real talk, and maybe even some wisdom… or at least our best attempt at it.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Ready for.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Greetings things gems, arms, germains Germans, earthworms and spaceworm Germians.
Oh wow, yeah, yeah, we keep adding to the list.
But no matter who you are, you are welcome on
the ships. And this week a lot of you are
going to be welcome in a different way because we
decided to give advice from outer space, completely unqualified two
(00:32):
gay girls.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
But at least it's solicited this time. Yeah, yeah, we
have we You should only listen to us insomuch as
you should take everything we say with a grain of
salt and understand that we're just sharing our life experience,
which may not ring true for you, and it may
not work for you, but perhaps it's worked for us,
and who knows, maybe we can help somebody.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, or at least inspire you to change your situation.
We're going to end to a question. I saw some questions,
so maybe not all that.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yes, So we put out a question box on across
our social medias and people submitted and we actually have
no idea who sent what because our producer took over
and it's just each question individuals.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
And they are completely anonymous, so don't worry. Yeah, we'll
be posting the list later now, No, it is completely anonymous,
but we're going to be reading some of these for
the first time. So if you did, if you were
one of those earthlings that gave us a question or
ask for advice, thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
We appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Thank you. So do you want to kick us off, babe?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah, I'd want to just kick us off first by
saying that I think that you and I are the
kinds of people who have lots of discussions about life together.
I mean, granted, we are a couple, so that would
make sense, but it's kind of like a hidden superpower
of yours, and we do talk about it where I
feel like you have a special knack for reading people
(01:56):
and actually finding like the truth in a situation. I
don't feel for your personal for your personal situations the
case now, I don't think it's always the case for
your personal situations. I think that's how it is, Like
you always give better advice than than than what you follow.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
But you are.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Excellent at identifying the problem and offering a solution. I know,
because sometimes we'll leave like a situation, a stressful environment,
or like we're discussing something you know, and then you'll
just give me like bullet point after bullet point after
bullet point after bullet point of your observations, and I'm like,
what do I tell you? I'm like, please just tell
this person, Please.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Just share everything that you said.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Person, whoever it is that we're talking about, or whatever
it is we're talking about at the moment. I'm always like, God,
I wish I could have recorded that.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Well, I feel and play it back. I feel like
you give well.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Actually see, I feel like what you do is give
great advice and you're not afraid to then take those
what you analyze and then take it to.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
To the to the situation or the person. Yeah, I'm working.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I'm working.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I'm the soliciting part of the advice. I'm working on
like number one, the first advice I'll give you today.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
It's not part of the list.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
This is a bumus is don't give advice unless someone's
asking for it.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
That's a good one.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
That's what I know. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
She means well, I do I really do thank you.
I really do mean well. I really do mean well.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
You just mean well a lot.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I love you. It's okay, moving on better than me anyway.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
I think the sweet spots like somewhere.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I feel like if we refuse to get together to
one person, there perfect people will give you all.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Right.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
First one, Okay, how can I make my baby sleep
more than three hours? Because we have a lot of
friends who have babies, and I have a feeling maybe
this came from one of those wink wink, but I.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Will say this. I don't know. I'm not a professional.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I've never had a child, I've never struggled with putting
my baby to sleep.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
But I did learn.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Recently that you should not sleep train your baby until
after a year old. It just has negative psychological implications
on how they feel towards not only their parents, but
their surroundings and life in general. So I don't know
how to get them to sleep longer than three hours, but.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I do well. I don't know how to get them
to sleep more than three hours, But what you can
do is bring that baby over to us, and you
can sleep more.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Than three Amazing advice.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
And also whiskey all over the gums. Okay, don't think
that that's a dog. That we are great babysitters and
that I can't attest to. And we've been left alone
with many a baby and we've done just fine. Oh,
we can also watch you sleep in a super non
creepy way like.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Okay, next one, honey girl.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
If I could answer that, I would being out of space.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
The question was how do we get out of this
fascist era? I wasn't even prepared to enter it.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I think that what we can do is speak up
about the things that we care about. Don't be afraid
to speak your mind. I've learned that there are more
people in the world who don't know better or are
unaware or uneducated on certain topics than people who are
truly inherently wishing others harm. So try to give others
(05:36):
grace during this period because I think that emotions are high.
Don't be afraid to cut people off. Don't be afraid
to set that boundary. I don't care if it's your mother,
your cousin, your your your sister, your best friend. You know,
don't surround yourselves with reminders of the things of stress
you out no matter what it is.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Politics and news.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
And you know, the past couple of weeks have been
pretty hectic since the inauguration, and I think in a bunch.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Of different ways we're feeling it.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
But how do you survive. How do we get out
of this fashisterical together?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Together? There you go, not a question but admiration. You
ladies are amazing and fun.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Ah, thank you?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Did you write that? John? Did you write that? John? No?
Thank you? In all honesty, we really do appreciate anybody
that that tunes in and joins us up here in space.
And whether it be to have a laugh or to
let her know too, right? Yeah, Like tell us what
you want to hear us talk about? And who do
you want to hear talk that.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
You enjoyed something or you didn't enjoy something?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
You know em and I are I don't want to
hear that I do.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Please send them, send the feedback my way. I'll relate
to send the booby picks my way.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Okay, don't worry, I'll share them with you. Okay. How
do I stop having dreams about my ex? Why is
this happening seven years later? Shit?
Speaker 3 (06:52):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
I will tell you this again. I don't know how
to stop the dreams, but I think you need to
find the root of the problem, because clearly there's still
some kind of emotion you haven't processed, or something you
haven't let go. I don't know the details. So I
don't know if if things ended well and maybe you
still have feelings for this person, or maybe things didn't
(07:13):
end well. Maybe you even have PTSD or trauma, and
that can manifest in a lot of ways, especially in
your dreams. So yeah, I would say maybe if you're
able to find a therapist that can help you process
the root of the problem and work on those steps,
and then I'm sure that in a while the dreams
(07:34):
might stop, or maybe they'll turn to the dreams about.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Me I love you, Yeah exactly. I retweet that dreams
are a product of our subconscious They're a product of
our thoughts, they are a product of our fears. So
if you're dreaming about somebody repeatedly, one part of me
wants to tell you maybe that's a sign. The other
part of me wants to say, just what I'm said,
(07:56):
go to the root of it, Try to figure out
what it is that, what are these dreams have in common,
what kind of dreams are they?
Speaker 3 (08:02):
How are you feeling?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
There's plenty of literature and Carl Jung did a lot
of study on the interpretation of dreams, and you can
take of that what you will, but definitely I think
it's more than anything, just an indication, a little censor
light that perhaps there's something else going on that maybe
you're not facing or aren't aware of, or maybe you
lack closure or or you know, but uh, why is
(08:25):
it happening?
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I don't know who? Girl or home boy follow up
to write and say what the heck?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
All right? So this one says, how can young artists
stay true to themselves while building a career in a
competitive industry? You and only you know your vision and
there's a reason for that. It's because you were meant
to make that vision a reality. There will always be naysayers.
(09:00):
Sometimes people love you and they're afraid for you. Sometimes
they see something in you they wish they had. Sometimes
it's a conditioning, sometimes it's a lack of knowledge. What
you can do to be true to yourself is remember
(09:21):
why you're doing what you're doing, and what you love
about what it is that you're doing, and hold fast
to that. A couple of episodes ago, we had Malon
Ricky here and they were talking about their friends who
are in a band who essentially put their heads down
and they harness their sound and they committed and they
were steadfast and.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Year after year after year after year.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
They kept working on themselves, working on themselves, and it
paid off in the long run. I don't think it's
about the competitiveness in the industry that you should focus in,
because there are many industries that are competitive. I think
it's just about remaining authentic and doing things your way
because you're unique.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yeah, I will add, like even that conversation we had
with Alan Stone, you know, and a lot of musicians,
so we've talked to on and off this couch. The
tough part is that because it's such a competitive industry,
any kind of artists that you are, when you get
offered an opportunity that makes you feel like we'll open
(10:20):
a door for bigger opportunities to really share who you are,
I think that's what it becomes tough, and that's when
being realistic you have to you have only you know
that answer, Like Jon said, you have to weigh it
out yourself. Because I come from a lot of artistic
privilege and my parents, who didn't have doors opened for them,
(10:43):
they had to kick them down and they were the
first people to be like, no, we're staying true to ourselves.
We're not going to change our name. And that's something
that to me is super serious. It comes out in
other ways, I'm kind of like a musical snob. But
like Alan said, like if there aren't people like that,
if there aren't people who are staunchly themselves and doing
their music their way, then everything would just sound the
(11:07):
same and be exactly the same. But also I will say,
if there's an opportunity that comes along that you think
is going to open the door, what I'd say is,
if you feel like that's okay for you, do it,
but don't let it turn into an excuse to dilute
your art. Every time you do something, That's what I
would say, Find the right moments, find the right reasons.
(11:27):
I've done things in my career and Jem knows that
I always put my heart into it and I give
it my best, But it's not necessarily something that I
would that I would do.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
You would put it on your tombstone.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Right, You're not going to be like this one time?
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Right? But anyway, Yeah, that's a tough one question.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
She's talking about, and you don't.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I don't know what you're talking Okay, Okay, next one. Yeah,
I want to take a closer look at the space
between my peepee and boo boo hole. Any suggestions this
is very inappropriate. That's really inappropriate.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
It's very inappropriate, and it has Emily Estemis.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
No. First of all, that's super inappropriate. I'm offended. Second all,
you're gonna need three things. That's a three side mirror
and a pilates reformer. Oh yeah, some of these are
kind of intense. I know. Thank god they're animals. All right, well,
let's let's pause. I can have yeah, five, we'll be
right back for things. All right, welcome back.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
You ready for more? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Okay. I want to make a big life change, but
everyone says it's too risky. Do I be brave or reckless? Okay?
First of all, context it depends what this changes. If
the changes that you want to become a serial killer,
don't do it. I'm just saying like context is key. However,
I would venture to guess that when you that they
(13:02):
think it's too risky, maybe it's something along. Maybe it
could be leaving a job or moving or a relationship
or you know, trying out women, which is a great idea.
But what I will say is that I think that
it's not reckless. I think it is brave actually to
make life big life changes. And I think we've actually
been conditioned to be really comfortable with comfort, like crave
(13:27):
comfort and be afraid of change. But the one true
thing that is constant in this life is change.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
And I heard somebody say, like it was an actor
or somebody that was talking about this the other day
and they're like, because they had gone through like really
dark times in their life and you know, they were
struggling with something and their friends said, you know, for
all we know, like this isn't a this isn't a pretend,
Like this isn't a pass of your life, Like this
(13:55):
is your one life, you know, so so live it
in that way. You know, if you want to move,
live everywhere you want to live, you know you don't
you're not happy at your job, you know, find a
way to get out of it. It's not I know that.
You know, this world can be daunting and financial situations
make it really difficult, but also fear and those things
(14:16):
can be louder than all of the possibilities of what
can happen. So start thinking about ways that you can
achieve this goal and think about the positive things that
it's going to bring to your life and all the
new experiences and things you're going to learn, and also
the comfort of knowing that there's very few things in
this life that you can't go back from, or you
can't change, or you can't evolve from. There are things
(14:38):
that are, but especially when it's a choice you're making,
you can always change your mind again, So you know,
I would say that, and I would also say, ask yourself,
why these questions? Why these people think it's reckless. Maybe
they're afraid, Maybe they have some valid reasons that maybe
you can think about and not only ease their mind,
which you don't owe them, but if you're feeling insecure,
(14:59):
maybe be able to ease your mind to go through
that exercise of listening to their concerns. But yeah, follow
your heart and you do you and don't let anybody
talk you out of something that may be the best,
the best thing ever again, unless it's that you're gonna
be a circule. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
I always say consider the source. If the person that
is giving you ironically advice in this in this subject
or in a specific arena, isn't somebody who you admire
in that same specific arena, be a little bit more
(15:37):
reserved with how much of their advice you usually take.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
The people who love us always.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Have the best intentions, but that doesn't necessarily mean that
they know what's in our best interest. So, like EM said,
you really should weigh out all of the pros and cons. Again,
your intuition is a is a guiding light for all
of our intention is a guiding light for all of us.
And if it's speaking something to you, then you should
definitely listen. And I think that being brave is not
(16:06):
something that you do in the absence of fear. It's
walking towards your fear. So sometimes if it scares you,
that's a good thing.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
So yeah, if it's something that you really want to
do and it's something that you have your mind set to,
like EM said, this is our one life and it's
your story and you get to write it, So do
it all right. I'm struggling with being productive when it
feels like the whole world is falling apart.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Girl retweet retweet Rex.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Back to kind of an earlier question. Again, we were
not meant to work forty hours a week.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
We just weren't.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
We were meant to pick berries in a cave. We
can like go down the rabbit hole of like, you know,
capitalism and economy, but that's not going.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
To offer you anything.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
If you're struggling to be productive when it feels like
the world is falling apart, that makes sense. That makes
total sense that you feel that way, because it's an
alarming time right now, and it absolutely makes sense for
anyone to feel overwhelmed or like they can't get their footing,
(17:16):
or like they're struggling to do the things that maybe
we did even just a year ago.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Start small, Start small.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I always find that when I fall off of something
or when I'm not reaching a certain goal of myself,
I try to give myself small wins. They don't even
have to be in terms of productivity or in our career,
in the area of career. It can just be a
small thing that you can just do and be proud
of yourself for doing, whether it's eating a.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Certain way or even just going for a walk.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
For a walk, or maybe it's reading five pages of
your book you know today, and celebrate each of those
milestones because you're doing the work. You're doing the work,
you're making the change. And if you take one step
every day verse taking none, you'll take you'll take thirty steps.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
In a month, You'll get somewhere. You will, you will.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
So if you're struggling with being productive, being productive, I
hear you, I really do.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
One more thing to add. And I'll speak for myself
because when I feel like the world is falling apart,
that's when for me I try a lot to connect
to the earth as opposed to the world, because like us,
humans really have a way of like messing everything up.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
But nature is perfect. So cute, huh is it? We're
so cute?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Yeah, super cute. But anyway, but nature is perfect, then
there's so many components to this world that that are
you know, you, that are beautiful and will make you
feel connected to a part of yourself that maybe the
world isn't isn't in sync with right now. That's why
I say, like, go for a walk and observe an animal,
and you know, maybe go to a garden or if
(18:50):
you live by a body of water that's always been
great for me, and just open up that part of
yourself so you can start to make your own.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
World, you know.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Anyway, Okay, bars On, bars what are good strategies to
handle anxious thoughts when they start to overwhelm me. Ooh girl,
I am anxiety, and then we're all who know, a
great person to answer.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Things that help me.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Personally me. Exercise is a big one, any form of exercise, movement, movement,
you know. But also like sometimes like when you expel
that anxious energy somewhere else, you know, then it moves
through you instead of like staying there or just like
being dormant until it gets until you get triggered again.
So I would say, like move the energy in some way,
(19:38):
whether it's like I don't know, dance, walking, you know,
change of change of scenery. Also for me, like even
like drawing or like some kind of creative thing. If
there's anything creative that you do, even if it's doodling
or whatnot, that's that seems to be helpful me. And
breathing exercises. I know that it seems like all these
things seem like cliches, but they're cliches for reason two.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Work.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
The tough part is actually doing them. And I know
what it feels like to be in the middle of
like really really bad anxiety and you feel like you
can't even get to those things. But just like Jim
previously said, to like small little things like obviously, if
you think about, oh my god, I got to do
thirty minute meditation every day, it's gonna seem super daunting.
But if you say, you know what, I'm going to
do one one minute breathing exercise, you know it helps.
(20:25):
It helps. And also doing these things before you feel
anxious is helpful. And then because you can, you know,
move that energy around before it even gets you know,
out of hand.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Yeah, well, this person's talking about anxious thoughts. So I
just want to say one thing, and it kind of
piggybacks on the whole meditation thing. If meditation, which I
really should meditate more, really should take my own advice.
But if meditation teaches us one thing, it's it teaches
us a lot. But one of the things that I've
learned in meditating is how to have more grace with
(20:58):
our own thoughts. You're not gonna win or feel better
by trying to battle your anxiety like an otherworldly force,
because we are this complex world that we are experiencing.
When the anxious thought answers your mind, there's nothing that
you have to do. You can simply acknowledge that the
(21:20):
thought has entered your mind. If you want to try
to understand where where that thought came from or what
it is that brought you to that place. Maybe that'll
help you. Or you can simply just say, Okay, I'm
having this thought right now and I'm feeling a little
bit anxious, and that's okay, and you have your moment
(21:41):
and then you simply let it go. Sometimes I think
we work ourselves up with like not allowing ourselves the
space to feel the things that we feel, and we
end up like screwing ourselves over in the end. Feeling
anxiety is part of just being a human being, and
sometimes you just have to feel it for a second.
Sometimes you just have to have the anxious things. Remind
yourself it's just a thought. It doesn't mean anything. It
(22:03):
doesn't rule your life. You don't have to react to it,
you don't have to make a decision based off of it.
It can just be an anxious thought and that's it,
and that's it.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Anyway. Who wants to hear from our sponsors?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I was about to say, now you're gonna hear some
advice from other people on what's advice? So check that
out and fun.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Hello again, welcome back? Did you miss us?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Now to more fun advice that is free.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Okay, what are the best ways to build a support
system in a new No?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
No, why do you think that's? No?
Speaker 3 (22:45):
I don't know, but just the question. Okay, wow, what?
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Okay, guys, I'm gonna get through this question.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Then you'll understand what we're having a hard time.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
What are the best ways to build a support system
in a new place when you're missing the fam? So
this is a hard question for me because got it,
it's I talk about it. It sounds like someone died
and nobody's died. But I do feel sad because my
little sister, who you guys have heard of for three seasons, Amber,
(23:18):
who is hands done, one of the best parts of
my life and one of the best just probably the
best friend I've ever had, and an undeniable pillar upholding
my entire support system, and just my buddy in life,
is moving. So I don't know who sent this question,
(23:39):
but it reminds me of her. So of course I'm
a little bit sad, but I'm going to try to
get out of my feelings for a second and be useful.
What are the best ways to build a support system
in a new place when you're missing the fan? So
I'm going to think of this as as if I
was telling my sister first, if you're in a new
place and you're missing your family, that is totally okay
(24:04):
and expected. Moving is so fun. As somebody in m
can can also share with this as somebody who's left
the city that I grew up in and lived in
other places, it's an incredible experience. I genuinely think that
everybody should leave their hometown at least once, even if
you go back to it. I think that there's just
(24:25):
something that you learn about the world and your own
sovereignty when you do something like that, when you go
to a brand new place where you maybe don't know
anybody or maybe no just one person, and have that experience,
and that's absolutely something that you should be excited about.
Building a new support system is really tricky. There is
(24:45):
a chance you might not, and thank god, in today's
day and age, you don't necessarily have to. Parts of
my support system are friends of mine who don't.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Even live in this state.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
I have friends who don't even live in this country,
and they've become a part of my support system through
years of trust and years of intentional building of our relationships.
So I don't think that your focus should be about
building a new support system. But if you are trying
to make new friends and you're trying to meet new people,
(25:18):
do things that you've never done before. Sign up for
a class, find yourself working instead of from your culture,
your dining table on your computer, go to the cafe,
or go to a restaurant, or go to a meetup,
or go to a community event, or sign up for
(25:39):
and I don't know, an organized charity event. Put yourself
out there. Put yourself out there. Don't be afraid to
be vulnerable. Don't be afraid to make the first move,
because chances are that there's going to be somebody else
out there that you're going to encounter who's going to
be just as afraid or uneasy as making that first
move as you are. And embrace it. Embrace, embrace all
(26:05):
parts of the newness because it's it's honestly beautiful.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Yeah. I think the older you get, the harder it
becomes to make friends. And I think, specifically like support system,
I would be careful because you know, it takes a
long time to get to know somebody, and you don't
just want to open yourself up to anybody just because
(26:33):
you're missing your family. That would be one thing that
I would just add in there, because I'm a very friendly,
very open person and sometimes too much, and I don't
want to be that person who's like, oh, the world's sucks,
everybody sucks. But you know, like your family is your family.
Nobody nobody's going to replace them. But luckily also we
(26:54):
live in a world where FaceTime really is a tool
that can ease a little of that, and the phone
is always there, and those are tools that are helpful.
You know, we have we have people in our lives
who have family in Cuba whose siblings are having babies
that they haven't even met yet because they can't and
(27:17):
no amount of people that they meet and no amount
of friendships that they make are gonna make that go away.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
So or feel that or feel that that place.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Yeah, or feel that place, but yeah, like enjoy yourself
and be open and go and do things like she
said that are of things of interest to you.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Who knows take a pilates class.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
So this morning I stroke up conversation with a girl
just because she was so good and I always love
the people who are the best, and I was like, dude,
you inspire me because it's my second pilates class after
I haven't gone to a plate class in ages. And
of course I'm like totally out of shape and I'm
having trouble with all of the movements, and this girl
was just like powering through and I was like walking
(27:56):
out the door. I turned around, I heard the door
behind me, and she walked out our behind me. I'm like, dude,
you're so inspiring. And we ended up talking there for
a few minutes, and who knows, maybe next class I'll
talk to her again or say hello, or we'll remember
each other. Don't worry about finding a new support system.
If you have a support system that works for you,
that's probably going to remain your support system.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
And that's okay, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Anyway, go What advice would you give to someone who's
interested in taking singing lessons?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Ooh, my advice would be do it.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
My advice would be do it. I think that more
people should sing, and I think that not everybody might
be the best singer, but everybody can become a better singer.
And even if you're tone deaf, sing your heart out.
I think singing is one of the really amazing ways
to transcend here or you know, making music. But your
(28:49):
voice is such a personal thing it's very scary. So
advice if you're going to take singing lessons, Number one
something you can do is start taking better care of
your voice because now you're going to be using it
in a completely different way with a lot You're moving
different You're moving the muscles of your voice because your
vocal cords are essentially work like muscles, and when you sing,
they vibrate and they slap against each other, and we
(29:11):
don't do that when we talk. We don't talk it
is melodically. So you're literally going to be doing something
completely foreign to you if you hasn't saying so mucus
is a big thing in that, you know, you can
start steaming your face, start to get all that mucus off.
What else you can start maybe finding some songs or
music that you like, like singers that inspire you, so
(29:34):
you can show your teacher. Maybe look up some examples
of what a singing lesson is like, because a lot
of people think that a singing lesson is you go
and you sing a song and you get better. It's
not like that. A lot of it is exercises that
are tough, but it's running through different exercises uh huh
(29:55):
that are going to start to actually get your voice ready.
So don't have an expectation that you're going to a jam.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
A good singing coach isn't going to make you. Probably
just sing yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
And then the other thing I'd say is, like, whoever
it is that is your singing coach, like a go
on their social media or go where they have examples
of their teaching style or.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
So that that's something that I want people to be
aware of because you and I talk about this all
the time, where we'll scroll on TikTok and we see
these like viral vocal coaches that are actually they have
hundreds of thousands of following really bad and they are
teaching their students improper forms. And it's not just improper form.
It's similar to pilates. If you have improper technique when
(30:33):
you're doing something like singing, you can.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Really hurt yourself.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
So my one piece of advice is, while there are
people out there, my mom is one of them, who
are really great at their jobs and they don't necessarily
have the technical credentials, like maybe they don't have the
official degree to back that up. There's a lot of
ways that people become well versed in any subject, but
I would try to go to somebody who like maybe
(30:57):
has some classical training or has studied music or musical
what would it be nice?
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Even then, it's just really tough.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
It's really tough. You have to be careful. My one
piece of advice is is be careful because sometimes you
think things sound good and they to a trained ear
don't actually sound good, and you can tell that it's
I played drums wrong for a long time and I
ended up causing me a really bad nerve injury. Where
I knew had teachers, right, I had different drum teachers.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
But this is what I'm saying about musicians, Like, if
you play an instrument technically, anybody can be a teacher,
but that doesn't mean that they know how to teach
or what to teach. There are a lot of amazing
players who have terrible technique, and if you learn bad technique,
you could sound great, but you could really over times
start to mess up your instrument, in which case for
(31:50):
me was my hands.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Luckily I started singing later, and when I started singing,
I started taking lessons and the coach that you know
that we all use tour is. He's not even it's
not even so much that he's a singer. He is
a scientist of the voice, and he focuses completely on
vocal health and how to sharpen your instruments as best
(32:13):
you can. And it's really impressive, you know, like they're
exercised exercises that he does that you can do that
are safe right after vocal surgery.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
You know, like like a good kung fu master. You'll
know your teacher is good if they stress the basics,
if they stress.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Technique, and also just have fun.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
You know.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
I know it's a nerve wracking thing, but it's it's
a really liberating thing, so you enjoy it.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Whoo all right.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
All right, my co worker steals my ideas and never
gives me credit.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
What do I do?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Stop telling them your ideas?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Number One, I would clock that coworker and never tell
them anything again. Personally, I might be a little petty
in this department, So really take this with a grain
of salt. I've been listening to the Mel Robin's podcast
and she's stressing a lot about this mind's shift called
that she calls the let them theory and maybe you've
heard of it, and it's basically, UH an empowering way
(33:08):
to approach any obstacle so that you aren't impacted by
the thing before you and you learn to accept that
there are really very few things that we can control
in our life. And if you're somebody who likes to control,
I'm one of those people. Don't shame yourself. That's part
of our natural instinct. It's in our instinct to want
to control. It's how we keep ourselves safe. But if
(33:31):
you have somebody who is stealing your ideas and isn't
giving you credit, let them. Let them steal your idea
next time. Don't share anything with them. Yeah, don't create
a Sometimes you just have to take a mental note
about a person and just be like, hmm, okay, now
I understand and I see you clearer.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Let them show you their colors.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Ooh wait, I have a better idea. Okay, come up
with a really terrible idea. It's going to get them fired.
Let them steal it.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I guess tired. Problem solved.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Yeah, yeah, we're clearly really good at this.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
All right, Well, there is one more piece of advice.
Just kidding, it's not advice, it's news and it's everybody. Yeah,
it's a long one today, Okay. This week in outer space,
NASA mission finds the Benu asteroid contains material needed for life,
(34:36):
included in the long list of materials available to view
and its entirety on their website. The three most important
materials found were from Role Please, a pair of crocs,
an orange the Song seasoning packet and Meryl Streep Essential for.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
Life, and a national.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
It's not amazing, go online and see the rest of
the list, because it's amazing some of the things that
are in there, including l clippers. Surprising all right, next,
two stranded NASA astronauts port things. They've been up there
so long. Sunny Williams and Butch Wilmore participated in their
first spacewalk together on the outside of the ISS. They said,
it doesn't seem like they're gonna get us off this
(35:15):
thing anytime soon, so we figured we'd try and walk home,
and wouldn't you know, after doing the calculations, their journey
would indeed be long, but still shorter than trying to
go five exits in Miami rush hour traffic. Happy spacewalking, y'all,
all right, last in outer space. Boom Supersonic successfully broke
(35:38):
the sound barrier with the XB one this month in
a major milestone. This pathfinder vehicle is designed to demonstrate
technologies and capabilities that Boom plans to employ a few
years from now on a commercial jet called overture marking
yet another way to waste billions of dollars that can
help the world. So manned babies can fly giant toys
in the air that go room room and yeah, all
(36:03):
and this has been nice news.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Wow, let me tell you something. What are you doing later?
Speaker 1 (36:12):
They take you on a date?
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Damn where we're going?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
I don't know, but you're on fire today and I'm
with it. Se communications, No, that was really good. That
was really good. Earthly head Stars.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
We love you, by the way, as Jermaine jem Jones
said at the beginning of this episode, we always want
your advice and your questions and whatnot, and we are
looking whether we have an episode or not, and we
love having you as a part of this little weird
alien family.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
It wouldn't be it without you, literally, But anyway.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Follow us on socials at in our own World pod
and tune in next week to see what We're going
to talk about love y'all.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
Bye bye.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
This podcast is brought to you by Boonflow Productions in
partnership with IHEARTSMI.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
Gudura Podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
For more podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows.
Ready for.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Greetings things gems, arms, germains Germans, earthworms and spaceworm Germians.
Oh wow, yeah, yeah, we keep adding to the list.
But no matter who you are, you are welcome on
the ships. And this week a lot of you are
going to be welcome in a different way because we
decided to give advice from outer space, completely unqualified two
(00:32):
gay girls.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
But at least it's solicited this time. Yeah, yeah, we
have we You should only listen to us insomuch as
you should take everything we say with a grain of
salt and understand that we're just sharing our life experience,
which may not ring true for you, and it may
not work for you, but perhaps it's worked for us,
and who knows, maybe we can help somebody.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, or at least inspire you to change your situation.
We're going to end to a question. I saw some questions,
so maybe not all that.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yes, So we put out a question box on across
our social medias and people submitted and we actually have
no idea who sent what because our producer took over
and it's just each question individuals.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
And they are completely anonymous, so don't worry. Yeah, we'll
be posting the list later now, No, it is completely anonymous,
but we're going to be reading some of these for
the first time. So if you did, if you were
one of those earthlings that gave us a question or
ask for advice, thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
We appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Thank you. So do you want to kick us off, babe?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah, I'd want to just kick us off first by
saying that I think that you and I are the
kinds of people who have lots of discussions about life together.
I mean, granted, we are a couple, so that would
make sense, but it's kind of like a hidden superpower
of yours, and we do talk about it where I
feel like you have a special knack for reading people
(01:56):
and actually finding like the truth in a situation. I
don't feel for your personal for your personal situations the
case now, I don't think it's always the case for
your personal situations. I think that's how it is, Like
you always give better advice than than than what you follow.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
But you are.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Excellent at identifying the problem and offering a solution. I know,
because sometimes we'll leave like a situation, a stressful environment,
or like we're discussing something you know, and then you'll
just give me like bullet point after bullet point after
bullet point after bullet point of your observations, and I'm like,
what do I tell you? I'm like, please just tell
this person, Please.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Just share everything that you said.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Person, whoever it is that we're talking about, or whatever
it is we're talking about at the moment. I'm always like, God,
I wish I could have recorded that.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Well, I feel and play it back. I feel like
you give well.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Actually see, I feel like what you do is give
great advice and you're not afraid to then take those
what you analyze and then take it to.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
To the to the situation or the person. Yeah, I'm working.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I'm working.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I'm the soliciting part of the advice. I'm working on
like number one, the first advice I'll give you today.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
It's not part of the list.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
This is a bumus is don't give advice unless someone's
asking for it.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
That's a good one.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
That's what I know. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
She means well, I do I really do thank you.
I really do mean well. I really do mean well.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
You just mean well a lot.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I love you. It's okay, moving on better than me anyway.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
I think the sweet spots like somewhere.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I feel like if we refuse to get together to
one person, there perfect people will give you all.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Right.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
First one, Okay, how can I make my baby sleep
more than three hours? Because we have a lot of
friends who have babies, and I have a feeling maybe
this came from one of those wink wink, but I.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Will say this. I don't know. I'm not a professional.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I've never had a child, I've never struggled with putting
my baby to sleep.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
But I did learn.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Recently that you should not sleep train your baby until
after a year old. It just has negative psychological implications
on how they feel towards not only their parents, but
their surroundings and life in general. So I don't know
how to get them to sleep longer than three hours, but.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I do well. I don't know how to get them
to sleep more than three hours, But what you can
do is bring that baby over to us, and you
can sleep more.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Than three Amazing advice.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
And also whiskey all over the gums. Okay, don't think
that that's a dog. That we are great babysitters and
that I can't attest to. And we've been left alone
with many a baby and we've done just fine. Oh,
we can also watch you sleep in a super non
creepy way like.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Okay, next one, honey girl.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
If I could answer that, I would being out of space.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
The question was how do we get out of this
fascist era? I wasn't even prepared to enter it.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I think that what we can do is speak up
about the things that we care about. Don't be afraid
to speak your mind. I've learned that there are more
people in the world who don't know better or are
unaware or uneducated on certain topics than people who are
truly inherently wishing others harm. So try to give others
(05:36):
grace during this period because I think that emotions are high.
Don't be afraid to cut people off. Don't be afraid
to set that boundary. I don't care if it's your mother,
your cousin, your your your sister, your best friend. You know,
don't surround yourselves with reminders of the things of stress
you out no matter what it is.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Politics and news.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
And you know, the past couple of weeks have been
pretty hectic since the inauguration, and I think in a bunch.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Of different ways we're feeling it.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
But how do you survive. How do we get out
of this fashisterical together?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Together? There you go, not a question but admiration. You
ladies are amazing and fun.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Ah, thank you?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Did you write that? John? Did you write that? John? No?
Thank you? In all honesty, we really do appreciate anybody
that that tunes in and joins us up here in space.
And whether it be to have a laugh or to
let her know too, right? Yeah, Like tell us what
you want to hear us talk about? And who do
you want to hear talk that.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
You enjoyed something or you didn't enjoy something?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
You know em and I are I don't want to
hear that I do.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Please send them, send the feedback my way. I'll relate
to send the booby picks my way.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Okay, don't worry, I'll share them with you. Okay. How
do I stop having dreams about my ex? Why is
this happening seven years later? Shit?
Speaker 3 (06:52):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
I will tell you this again. I don't know how
to stop the dreams, but I think you need to
find the root of the problem, because clearly there's still
some kind of emotion you haven't processed, or something you
haven't let go. I don't know the details. So I
don't know if if things ended well and maybe you
still have feelings for this person, or maybe things didn't
(07:13):
end well. Maybe you even have PTSD or trauma, and
that can manifest in a lot of ways, especially in
your dreams. So yeah, I would say maybe if you're
able to find a therapist that can help you process
the root of the problem and work on those steps,
and then I'm sure that in a while the dreams
(07:34):
might stop, or maybe they'll turn to the dreams about.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Me I love you, Yeah exactly. I retweet that dreams
are a product of our subconscious They're a product of
our thoughts, they are a product of our fears. So
if you're dreaming about somebody repeatedly, one part of me
wants to tell you maybe that's a sign. The other
part of me wants to say, just what I'm said,
(07:56):
go to the root of it, Try to figure out
what it is that, what are these dreams have in common,
what kind of dreams are they?
Speaker 3 (08:02):
How are you feeling?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
There's plenty of literature and Carl Jung did a lot
of study on the interpretation of dreams, and you can
take of that what you will, but definitely I think
it's more than anything, just an indication, a little censor
light that perhaps there's something else going on that maybe
you're not facing or aren't aware of, or maybe you
lack closure or or you know, but uh, why is
(08:25):
it happening?
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I don't know who? Girl or home boy follow up
to write and say what the heck?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
All right? So this one says, how can young artists
stay true to themselves while building a career in a
competitive industry? You and only you know your vision and
there's a reason for that. It's because you were meant
to make that vision a reality. There will always be naysayers.
(09:00):
Sometimes people love you and they're afraid for you. Sometimes
they see something in you they wish they had. Sometimes
it's a conditioning, sometimes it's a lack of knowledge. What
you can do to be true to yourself is remember
(09:21):
why you're doing what you're doing, and what you love
about what it is that you're doing, and hold fast
to that. A couple of episodes ago, we had Malon
Ricky here and they were talking about their friends who
are in a band who essentially put their heads down
and they harness their sound and they committed and they
were steadfast and.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Year after year after year after year.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
They kept working on themselves, working on themselves, and it
paid off in the long run. I don't think it's
about the competitiveness in the industry that you should focus in,
because there are many industries that are competitive. I think
it's just about remaining authentic and doing things your way
because you're unique.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yeah, I will add, like even that conversation we had
with Alan Stone, you know, and a lot of musicians,
so we've talked to on and off this couch. The
tough part is that because it's such a competitive industry,
any kind of artists that you are, when you get
offered an opportunity that makes you feel like we'll open
(10:20):
a door for bigger opportunities to really share who you are,
I think that's what it becomes tough, and that's when
being realistic you have to you have only you know
that answer, Like Jon said, you have to weigh it
out yourself. Because I come from a lot of artistic
privilege and my parents, who didn't have doors opened for them,
(10:43):
they had to kick them down and they were the
first people to be like, no, we're staying true to ourselves.
We're not going to change our name. And that's something
that to me is super serious. It comes out in
other ways, I'm kind of like a musical snob. But
like Alan said, like if there aren't people like that,
if there aren't people who are staunchly themselves and doing
their music their way, then everything would just sound the
(11:07):
same and be exactly the same. But also I will say,
if there's an opportunity that comes along that you think
is going to open the door, what I'd say is,
if you feel like that's okay for you, do it,
but don't let it turn into an excuse to dilute
your art. Every time you do something, That's what I
would say, Find the right moments, find the right reasons.
(11:27):
I've done things in my career and Jem knows that
I always put my heart into it and I give
it my best, But it's not necessarily something that I
would that I would do.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
You would put it on your tombstone.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Right, You're not going to be like this one time?
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Right? But anyway, Yeah, that's a tough one question.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
She's talking about, and you don't.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I don't know what you're talking Okay, Okay, next one. Yeah,
I want to take a closer look at the space
between my peepee and boo boo hole. Any suggestions this
is very inappropriate. That's really inappropriate.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
It's very inappropriate, and it has Emily Estemis.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
No. First of all, that's super inappropriate. I'm offended. Second all,
you're gonna need three things. That's a three side mirror
and a pilates reformer. Oh yeah, some of these are
kind of intense. I know. Thank god they're animals. All right, well,
let's let's pause. I can have yeah, five, we'll be
right back for things. All right, welcome back.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
You ready for more? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Okay. I want to make a big life change, but
everyone says it's too risky. Do I be brave or reckless? Okay?
First of all, context it depends what this changes. If
the changes that you want to become a serial killer,
don't do it. I'm just saying like context is key. However,
I would venture to guess that when you that they
(13:02):
think it's too risky, maybe it's something along. Maybe it
could be leaving a job or moving or a relationship
or you know, trying out women, which is a great idea.
But what I will say is that I think that
it's not reckless. I think it is brave actually to
make life big life changes. And I think we've actually
been conditioned to be really comfortable with comfort, like crave
(13:27):
comfort and be afraid of change. But the one true
thing that is constant in this life is change.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
And I heard somebody say, like it was an actor
or somebody that was talking about this the other day
and they're like, because they had gone through like really
dark times in their life and you know, they were
struggling with something and their friends said, you know, for
all we know, like this isn't a this isn't a pretend,
Like this isn't a pass of your life, Like this
(13:55):
is your one life, you know, so so live it
in that way. You know, if you want to move,
live everywhere you want to live, you know you don't
you're not happy at your job, you know, find a
way to get out of it. It's not I know that.
You know, this world can be daunting and financial situations
make it really difficult, but also fear and those things
(14:16):
can be louder than all of the possibilities of what
can happen. So start thinking about ways that you can
achieve this goal and think about the positive things that
it's going to bring to your life and all the
new experiences and things you're going to learn, and also
the comfort of knowing that there's very few things in
this life that you can't go back from, or you
can't change, or you can't evolve from. There are things
(14:38):
that are, but especially when it's a choice you're making,
you can always change your mind again, So you know,
I would say that, and I would also say, ask yourself,
why these questions? Why these people think it's reckless. Maybe
they're afraid, Maybe they have some valid reasons that maybe
you can think about and not only ease their mind,
which you don't owe them, but if you're feeling insecure,
(14:59):
maybe be able to ease your mind to go through
that exercise of listening to their concerns. But yeah, follow
your heart and you do you and don't let anybody
talk you out of something that may be the best,
the best thing ever again, unless it's that you're gonna
be a circule. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
I always say consider the source. If the person that
is giving you ironically advice in this in this subject
or in a specific arena, isn't somebody who you admire
in that same specific arena, be a little bit more
(15:37):
reserved with how much of their advice you usually take.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
The people who love us always.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Have the best intentions, but that doesn't necessarily mean that
they know what's in our best interest. So, like EM said,
you really should weigh out all of the pros and cons. Again,
your intuition is a is a guiding light for all
of our intention is a guiding light for all of us.
And if it's speaking something to you, then you should
definitely listen. And I think that being brave is not
(16:06):
something that you do in the absence of fear. It's
walking towards your fear. So sometimes if it scares you,
that's a good thing.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
So yeah, if it's something that you really want to
do and it's something that you have your mind set to,
like EM said, this is our one life and it's
your story and you get to write it, So do
it all right. I'm struggling with being productive when it
feels like the whole world is falling apart.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Girl retweet retweet Rex.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Back to kind of an earlier question. Again, we were
not meant to work forty hours a week.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
We just weren't.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
We were meant to pick berries in a cave. We
can like go down the rabbit hole of like, you know,
capitalism and economy, but that's not going.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
To offer you anything.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
If you're struggling to be productive when it feels like
the world is falling apart, that makes sense. That makes
total sense that you feel that way, because it's an
alarming time right now, and it absolutely makes sense for
anyone to feel overwhelmed or like they can't get their footing,
(17:16):
or like they're struggling to do the things that maybe
we did even just a year ago.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Start small, Start small.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I always find that when I fall off of something
or when I'm not reaching a certain goal of myself,
I try to give myself small wins. They don't even
have to be in terms of productivity or in our career,
in the area of career. It can just be a
small thing that you can just do and be proud
of yourself for doing, whether it's eating a.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Certain way or even just going for a walk.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
For a walk, or maybe it's reading five pages of
your book you know today, and celebrate each of those
milestones because you're doing the work. You're doing the work,
you're making the change. And if you take one step
every day verse taking none, you'll take you'll take thirty steps.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
In a month, You'll get somewhere. You will, you will.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
So if you're struggling with being productive, being productive, I
hear you, I really do.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
One more thing to add. And I'll speak for myself
because when I feel like the world is falling apart,
that's when for me I try a lot to connect
to the earth as opposed to the world, because like us,
humans really have a way of like messing everything up.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
But nature is perfect. So cute, huh is it? We're
so cute?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Yeah, super cute. But anyway, but nature is perfect, then
there's so many components to this world that that are
you know, you, that are beautiful and will make you
feel connected to a part of yourself that maybe the
world isn't isn't in sync with right now. That's why
I say, like, go for a walk and observe an animal,
and you know, maybe go to a garden or if
(18:50):
you live by a body of water that's always been
great for me, and just open up that part of
yourself so you can start to make your own.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
World, you know.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Anyway, Okay, bars On, bars what are good strategies to
handle anxious thoughts when they start to overwhelm me. Ooh girl,
I am anxiety, and then we're all who know, a
great person to answer.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Things that help me.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Personally me. Exercise is a big one, any form of exercise, movement, movement,
you know. But also like sometimes like when you expel
that anxious energy somewhere else, you know, then it moves
through you instead of like staying there or just like
being dormant until it gets until you get triggered again.
So I would say, like move the energy in some way,
(19:38):
whether it's like I don't know, dance, walking, you know,
change of change of scenery. Also for me, like even
like drawing or like some kind of creative thing. If
there's anything creative that you do, even if it's doodling
or whatnot, that's that seems to be helpful me. And
breathing exercises. I know that it seems like all these
things seem like cliches, but they're cliches for reason two.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Work.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
The tough part is actually doing them. And I know
what it feels like to be in the middle of
like really really bad anxiety and you feel like you
can't even get to those things. But just like Jim
previously said, to like small little things like obviously, if
you think about, oh my god, I got to do
thirty minute meditation every day, it's gonna seem super daunting.
But if you say, you know what, I'm going to
do one one minute breathing exercise, you know it helps.
(20:25):
It helps. And also doing these things before you feel
anxious is helpful. And then because you can, you know,
move that energy around before it even gets you know,
out of hand.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Yeah, well, this person's talking about anxious thoughts. So I
just want to say one thing, and it kind of
piggybacks on the whole meditation thing. If meditation, which I
really should meditate more, really should take my own advice.
But if meditation teaches us one thing, it's it teaches
us a lot. But one of the things that I've
learned in meditating is how to have more grace with
(20:58):
our own thoughts. You're not gonna win or feel better
by trying to battle your anxiety like an otherworldly force,
because we are this complex world that we are experiencing.
When the anxious thought answers your mind, there's nothing that
you have to do. You can simply acknowledge that the
(21:20):
thought has entered your mind. If you want to try
to understand where where that thought came from or what
it is that brought you to that place. Maybe that'll
help you. Or you can simply just say, Okay, I'm
having this thought right now and I'm feeling a little
bit anxious, and that's okay, and you have your moment
(21:41):
and then you simply let it go. Sometimes I think
we work ourselves up with like not allowing ourselves the
space to feel the things that we feel, and we
end up like screwing ourselves over in the end. Feeling
anxiety is part of just being a human being, and
sometimes you just have to feel it for a second.
Sometimes you just have to have the anxious things. Remind
yourself it's just a thought. It doesn't mean anything. It
(22:03):
doesn't rule your life. You don't have to react to it,
you don't have to make a decision based off of it.
It can just be an anxious thought and that's it,
and that's it.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
Anyway. Who wants to hear from our sponsors?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I was about to say, now you're gonna hear some
advice from other people on what's advice? So check that
out and fun.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Hello again, welcome back? Did you miss us?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Now to more fun advice that is free.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Okay, what are the best ways to build a support
system in a new No?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
No, why do you think that's? No?
Speaker 3 (22:45):
I don't know, but just the question. Okay, wow, what?
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Okay, guys, I'm gonna get through this question.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Then you'll understand what we're having a hard time.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
What are the best ways to build a support system
in a new place when you're missing the fam? So
this is a hard question for me because got it,
it's I talk about it. It sounds like someone died
and nobody's died. But I do feel sad because my
little sister, who you guys have heard of for three seasons, Amber,
(23:18):
who is hands done, one of the best parts of
my life and one of the best just probably the
best friend I've ever had, and an undeniable pillar upholding
my entire support system, and just my buddy in life,
is moving. So I don't know who sent this question,
(23:39):
but it reminds me of her. So of course I'm
a little bit sad, but I'm going to try to
get out of my feelings for a second and be useful.
What are the best ways to build a support system
in a new place when you're missing the fan? So
I'm going to think of this as as if I
was telling my sister first, if you're in a new
place and you're missing your family, that is totally okay
(24:04):
and expected. Moving is so fun. As somebody in m
can can also share with this as somebody who's left
the city that I grew up in and lived in
other places, it's an incredible experience. I genuinely think that
everybody should leave their hometown at least once, even if
you go back to it. I think that there's just
(24:25):
something that you learn about the world and your own
sovereignty when you do something like that, when you go
to a brand new place where you maybe don't know
anybody or maybe no just one person, and have that experience,
and that's absolutely something that you should be excited about.
Building a new support system is really tricky. There is
(24:45):
a chance you might not, and thank god, in today's
day and age, you don't necessarily have to. Parts of
my support system are friends of mine who don't.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Even live in this state.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
I have friends who don't even live in this country,
and they've become a part of my support system through
years of trust and years of intentional building of our relationships.
So I don't think that your focus should be about
building a new support system. But if you are trying
to make new friends and you're trying to meet new people,
(25:18):
do things that you've never done before. Sign up for
a class, find yourself working instead of from your culture,
your dining table on your computer, go to the cafe,
or go to a restaurant, or go to a meetup,
or go to a community event, or sign up for
(25:39):
and I don't know, an organized charity event. Put yourself
out there. Put yourself out there. Don't be afraid to
be vulnerable. Don't be afraid to make the first move,
because chances are that there's going to be somebody else
out there that you're going to encounter who's going to
be just as afraid or uneasy as making that first
move as you are. And embrace it. Embrace, embrace all
(26:05):
parts of the newness because it's it's honestly beautiful.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Yeah. I think the older you get, the harder it
becomes to make friends. And I think, specifically like support system,
I would be careful because you know, it takes a
long time to get to know somebody, and you don't
just want to open yourself up to anybody just because
(26:33):
you're missing your family. That would be one thing that
I would just add in there, because I'm a very friendly,
very open person and sometimes too much, and I don't
want to be that person who's like, oh, the world's sucks,
everybody sucks. But you know, like your family is your family.
Nobody nobody's going to replace them. But luckily also we
(26:54):
live in a world where FaceTime really is a tool
that can ease a little of that, and the phone
is always there, and those are tools that are helpful.
You know, we have we have people in our lives
who have family in Cuba whose siblings are having babies
that they haven't even met yet because they can't and
(27:17):
no amount of people that they meet and no amount
of friendships that they make are gonna make that go away.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
So or feel that or feel that that place.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Yeah, or feel that place, but yeah, like enjoy yourself
and be open and go and do things like she
said that are of things of interest to you.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Who knows take a pilates class.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
So this morning I stroke up conversation with a girl
just because she was so good and I always love
the people who are the best, and I was like, dude,
you inspire me because it's my second pilates class after
I haven't gone to a plate class in ages. And
of course I'm like totally out of shape and I'm
having trouble with all of the movements, and this girl
was just like powering through and I was like walking
(27:56):
out the door. I turned around, I heard the door
behind me, and she walked out our behind me. I'm like, dude,
you're so inspiring. And we ended up talking there for
a few minutes, and who knows, maybe next class I'll
talk to her again or say hello, or we'll remember
each other. Don't worry about finding a new support system.
If you have a support system that works for you,
that's probably going to remain your support system.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
And that's okay, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Anyway, go What advice would you give to someone who's
interested in taking singing lessons?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Ooh, my advice would be do it.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
My advice would be do it. I think that more
people should sing, and I think that not everybody might
be the best singer, but everybody can become a better singer.
And even if you're tone deaf, sing your heart out.
I think singing is one of the really amazing ways
to transcend here or you know, making music. But your
(28:49):
voice is such a personal thing it's very scary. So
advice if you're going to take singing lessons, Number one
something you can do is start taking better care of
your voice because now you're going to be using it
in a completely different way with a lot You're moving
different You're moving the muscles of your voice because your
vocal cords are essentially work like muscles, and when you sing,
they vibrate and they slap against each other, and we
(29:11):
don't do that when we talk. We don't talk it
is melodically. So you're literally going to be doing something
completely foreign to you if you hasn't saying so mucus
is a big thing in that, you know, you can
start steaming your face, start to get all that mucus off.
What else you can start maybe finding some songs or
music that you like, like singers that inspire you, so
(29:34):
you can show your teacher. Maybe look up some examples
of what a singing lesson is like, because a lot
of people think that a singing lesson is you go
and you sing a song and you get better. It's
not like that. A lot of it is exercises that
are tough, but it's running through different exercises uh huh
(29:55):
that are going to start to actually get your voice ready.
So don't have an expectation that you're going to a jam.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
A good singing coach isn't going to make you. Probably
just sing yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
And then the other thing I'd say is, like, whoever
it is that is your singing coach, like a go
on their social media or go where they have examples
of their teaching style or.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
So that that's something that I want people to be
aware of because you and I talk about this all
the time, where we'll scroll on TikTok and we see
these like viral vocal coaches that are actually they have
hundreds of thousands of following really bad and they are
teaching their students improper forms. And it's not just improper form.
It's similar to pilates. If you have improper technique when
(30:33):
you're doing something like singing, you can.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Really hurt yourself.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
So my one piece of advice is, while there are
people out there, my mom is one of them, who
are really great at their jobs and they don't necessarily
have the technical credentials, like maybe they don't have the
official degree to back that up. There's a lot of
ways that people become well versed in any subject, but
I would try to go to somebody who like maybe
(30:57):
has some classical training or has studied music or musical
what would it be nice?
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Even then, it's just really tough.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
It's really tough. You have to be careful. My one
piece of advice is is be careful because sometimes you
think things sound good and they to a trained ear
don't actually sound good, and you can tell that it's
I played drums wrong for a long time and I
ended up causing me a really bad nerve injury. Where
I knew had teachers, right, I had different drum teachers.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
But this is what I'm saying about musicians, Like, if
you play an instrument technically, anybody can be a teacher,
but that doesn't mean that they know how to teach
or what to teach. There are a lot of amazing
players who have terrible technique, and if you learn bad technique,
you could sound great, but you could really over times
start to mess up your instrument, in which case for
(31:50):
me was my hands.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Luckily I started singing later, and when I started singing,
I started taking lessons and the coach that you know
that we all use tour is. He's not even it's
not even so much that he's a singer. He is
a scientist of the voice, and he focuses completely on
vocal health and how to sharpen your instruments as best
(32:13):
you can. And it's really impressive, you know, like they're
exercised exercises that he does that you can do that
are safe right after vocal surgery.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
You know, like like a good kung fu master. You'll
know your teacher is good if they stress the basics,
if they stress.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Technique, and also just have fun.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
You know.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
I know it's a nerve wracking thing, but it's it's
a really liberating thing, so you enjoy it.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Whoo all right.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
All right, my co worker steals my ideas and never
gives me credit.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
What do I do?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Stop telling them your ideas?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Number One, I would clock that coworker and never tell
them anything again. Personally, I might be a little petty
in this department, So really take this with a grain
of salt. I've been listening to the Mel Robin's podcast
and she's stressing a lot about this mind's shift called
that she calls the let them theory and maybe you've
heard of it, and it's basically, UH an empowering way
(33:08):
to approach any obstacle so that you aren't impacted by
the thing before you and you learn to accept that
there are really very few things that we can control
in our life. And if you're somebody who likes to control,
I'm one of those people. Don't shame yourself. That's part
of our natural instinct. It's in our instinct to want
to control. It's how we keep ourselves safe. But if
(33:31):
you have somebody who is stealing your ideas and isn't
giving you credit, let them. Let them steal your idea
next time. Don't share anything with them. Yeah, don't create
a Sometimes you just have to take a mental note
about a person and just be like, hmm, okay, now
I understand and I see you clearer.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Let them show you their colors.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Ooh wait, I have a better idea. Okay, come up
with a really terrible idea. It's going to get them fired.
Let them steal it.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I guess tired. Problem solved.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Yeah, yeah, we're clearly really good at this.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
All right, Well, there is one more piece of advice.
Just kidding, it's not advice, it's news and it's everybody. Yeah,
it's a long one today, Okay. This week in outer space,
NASA mission finds the Benu asteroid contains material needed for life,
(34:36):
included in the long list of materials available to view
and its entirety on their website. The three most important
materials found were from Role Please, a pair of crocs,
an orange the Song seasoning packet and Meryl Streep Essential for.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
Life, and a national.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
It's not amazing, go online and see the rest of
the list, because it's amazing some of the things that
are in there, including l clippers. Surprising all right, next,
two stranded NASA astronauts port things. They've been up there
so long. Sunny Williams and Butch Wilmore participated in their
first spacewalk together on the outside of the ISS. They said,
it doesn't seem like they're gonna get us off this
(35:15):
thing anytime soon, so we figured we'd try and walk home,
and wouldn't you know, after doing the calculations, their journey
would indeed be long, but still shorter than trying to
go five exits in Miami rush hour traffic. Happy spacewalking, y'all,
all right, last in outer space. Boom Supersonic successfully broke
(35:38):
the sound barrier with the XB one this month in
a major milestone. This pathfinder vehicle is designed to demonstrate
technologies and capabilities that Boom plans to employ a few
years from now on a commercial jet called overture marking
yet another way to waste billions of dollars that can
help the world. So manned babies can fly giant toys
in the air that go room room and yeah, all
(36:03):
and this has been nice news.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Wow, let me tell you something. What are you doing later?
Speaker 1 (36:12):
They take you on a date?
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Damn where we're going?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
I don't know, but you're on fire today and I'm
with it. Se communications, No, that was really good. That
was really good. Earthly head Stars.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
We love you, by the way, as Jermaine jem Jones
said at the beginning of this episode, we always want
your advice and your questions and whatnot, and we are
looking whether we have an episode or not, and we
love having you as a part of this little weird
alien family.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
It wouldn't be it without you, literally, But anyway.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Follow us on socials at in our own World pod
and tune in next week to see what We're going
to talk about love y'all.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
Bye bye.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
This podcast is brought to you by Boonflow Productions in
partnership with IHEARTSMI.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
Gudura Podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
For more podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows.
Hosts And Creators
Gemeny Hernandez
Emily Estefan
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