7. Access Denied: Uncensored

We’ve got a short flight for you this week, and its not kid-friendly.  But don't worry, we have games on board.  NSFW!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
On the back. I gave me the same. Let's go
to a mission one. Ready for a theme deck? Now unch,

(00:30):
Welcome back to Inner Room World. Welcome back to Inner
Room Get a baby. I almost forgot we were recording.
I was like a little shoulders shaking going on today. Well, um, babe,
I don't know about you, but I have a heavy
weight on my shoulders from the last couple of episodes.

(00:52):
So I take a breath and take a lap and
take a laugh. So we thought, let's laugh a little
bit and uh, let's do something that we haven't done before.
We'll also, babe, I mean, I don't know about you,
but you name this podcast because you know, I'm gonna
give you the credit for the name, you know, because

(01:13):
it really is, but you just for the name. Well,
you have really good taste and girlfriends too. Yeah, because
you've met a couple of the other ones. Oh, I
was just talking about me, but yeah, he's girlfriend's plural. See,
I don't know if i'd say the same, Oh my,

(01:33):
you have you have really good tasting girlfriend girlfriend Just
like that's what I meant to say. Girl, I'm getting
I'm padding. We'll cut all this out. Well, anyway, I
don't know about you, babe, but um, the name of
the show is in our own world, right, And I
think that a big part of that is that we

(01:54):
want people to know what it would be like to
be in our world, you know, and whatever moment in
that light in our life that maybe, for example, a
big part of our life is our home, you know,
like we take a lot of pride in the energy
in our home and you know, like the kind of
gatherings that we have there. And I'm gonna ask you

(02:15):
a question. Those of you out there can answer to.
You can guess what do you think is one of
the things obligatory you will do when you come to
our home. I want to hear your answer, baby, and
out there, Uh, what do you mean obligatory? Hopefully nothing
like if you come to our house, what's one of
the things for sure you're gonna do? Probably sing against

(02:38):
your will? Okay and see dogs. I was gonna say
the dogs, babe, if you come to our house with you,
I know you are if you come to our house.
We are pretty big on games. We are. We're not
just big on like board games. We love card games,
we love video games, we love physical games. Games are

(03:02):
requiring physical games. I would consider throw through Burrito a
physical game. The game we could get really intense, real fast.
I really can. Yeah. I just had a flashback of
like when we were living on the beach and you
like tackle your sister's boyfriend because it says that you

(03:23):
can use other items, including people even playing. I had
just gone to the kitchen to get us water, and
I just feel like, and I went back and you
were like dragging him. He's a tall guy too. Yeah,
well he probably deserved it. So yeah, if you come
to our house, most likely you will play a game.

(03:45):
I've been introduced to many a game thanks to Jim.
I don't know how many of you board gamers are
out there. And also, you know what I just want
to say. I feel like we grew up in an
era where we played a lot of board games, Like
if you went into my closet as a kid, I had,
you know, Pretty Pretty Princess and Monopoly and what's that
game where that the elephant throws the thing and you

(04:07):
catch it. I used to love board games, and I
feel like now I get worried because a lot of
kids are freaking playing on the iPad and stuff, and
I feel like there's nothing wrong with a good old
board game. Those are great family body activities. It teaches
you how to not be a sore loser. So we
want to take a breath and reset and also encourage

(04:27):
everybody to play some games out there and get off
their phones and have a good freaking time. So, now
that we're on the on the wavelength of taking a
breath chilling, also, let's take a collective breath right now. Okay, ready,

(04:49):
that's good, Okay, okay, I hope you guys did that
with us, because sometimes taking a breath is underrated. Now,
moving on from that, spring out your competitive spare and um.
So with that being said, if you come to our home,
games are a very large part of that. That's something
that's a part of ticket of exit of our home.

(05:11):
And we have like a whole cabinet full of a
bunch of board games. We have a whole fun cabinet.
There's only fun things in there, games and you can
leave up the rest of your imagination games, some stuff
in the balloon bubbles probably we actually do have bubbles
in there. But anyway, so babe, let's play five second rule.

(05:33):
What do you think? Okay, yeah, five second Rule is
a game that well it's five second rule uncensored. La
la la la, So five second Rule uncensored. We actually
haven't played this game before, but I did get a
brief intro on it yesterday. And there's one thing that

(05:53):
I love and it's at the five second rule actual
timer thing makes a sound effect that at we will
all get to know really well and it goes like this.
That was really fun checking out. Oh my god. Yeah,
because no matter what, when you move the box, it sounds.

(06:15):
So you can just imagine how I was. So a
quick recap on the rules of five second rule. There
are some cards here and they all have a category
or a question that they pose you, asking you to
name three of something. So maybe let's say the card
says three colors, and you'd be like red, white, and blue.

(06:35):
And the whole deal is that you have to say
those three things before your five seconds are up or else,
or else you don't get the point. And what happens, well,
when you don't get the point for the card that
you pulled, it goes to the next player and that
player gets a chance at trying to do it. Okay,
copy that, all right? All right? Are you ready to play. Okay,

(06:57):
I'll go. I'll go first. I'll go for I hold
the thing. Yeah you, since you're my opponent, I trust
you with the time. Okay. Oh boys, So I have
this little Squeakerini here is there is there a bola
in here. You get to read when I start to
turn it upside now, and that's five seconds. When you
start to turn it upside down, it starts counting down
to the five seconds. Go to the bottom that it's over.

(07:20):
You pull the card because you're going to read it
to me. That's how I know what I'm gonna have
to say. So do I start the time or after
after you read the card? Because after I read the car? Yes,
I have five seconds to answer, not five seconds to listen.
My god, I can't believe. Just go first, God, just go, go,
go go. Name three sex toys uh dildo, anal beads

(07:45):
and um what tassels are those sex toys? Hi? Ammick
the sex hammock? Uh vibrator? Did I say vibrator? Oh no,
I think this malfunction. But you know a lot of
sex now the second the ball start going down, your
good Name three disgusting things that people eat boogers, oysters,

(08:06):
um oh, clamps. Wait, clifts, I said, boogers, oysters, and clams.
But aren't those all like the same things? No? Wait,
clams our oysters are the type of clam, are they? Yes?

(08:28):
So I get the point? No oh no, okay, really quick?
Where I win? Are you googling? Hold on? Wait, hold on,
ladies and gentlemen, Jama's googling If oysters and clams are

(08:48):
in fact different things? They are? Ha ha, So I win?
I win. Name three cures for a hangover, Adville, water,

(09:26):
and burger. All right, that was a lot of time. Well,
you know, and at my first rodeo. I'm not far
from now if I don't even drink. I used to,
and I still do on occasion when it's worth it
and you get stuff it basically allergic to life. It's

(09:49):
so right now we're zero debatable to one to wait
a minute to to zero, dude, six to zero. I'm
winning to to zero. This would be your zo okay, alright,
to maybe one school all right? Name three ways to
pass the time on a plane? Masturbation, alcohol, and movies. Wow,

(10:16):
I am going to second guess every time you get
up to go to the airport restroom. Now it just
came out. It's good, it's good. Here you go here.
The last one was movies. God damn read a book, sleep.

(10:39):
I don't know almends, do you think anything but god? Okay,
all right, ready, ready, alright, eight zero me, stop stop
praying that a's gonna save you. Now it's nine zero. Literally,

(11:03):
you're going to actually confute. I'm centering myself. Here we go. Okay,
Name three bodily fluids. Uh semen, uh saliva blood whoa wow? Um,
wait till the time or just start. Okay, First of all,

(11:26):
I think it's cute that you're still trying to play
with me. But it's twelve to one. You're a ridiculous
dog dog. I love you, I love you, I love you.
But it's alright, alright ready yeah, name three times. That's
slower is better on the road? Um ship? Oh where's

(11:51):
the button? I think faster? Where's that? Oh? Whatever? Damn?
Any more? Tin for that one? Oh? Is that threedom one?
You know what? I want to call in complain about
this little sick look with some boost. Here we go.

(12:17):
I feel like these cards were meant for us today.
Name three lesbians me, you, and uh, any woman. No.
First of all, you lost said I heard any woman,
any woman could bear with. Any woman could be a legian.

(12:38):
That's not have you ever seen a woman? That's okay,
any woman could be a lesbian, any women. But I
think I deserve that point. Leave it to the audience.
You let us know. Do I deserve that any woman
could be lessier of that point? That's not true? You
know how many not even? Oh okay, we need new buttons.

(13:05):
Name three laws easily broken? Oh um, think clo shit,
what do you short circuit? It's like your brain says,
I didn't want to say it. Really bad laws easily broken.

(13:29):
They're like I was gonna saying littering. But then I'm like, no,
I feel bad right because I don't want to litter,
like I don't. We don't litter, We pick up trash.
So that's when I was like, b B booping, booping,
good shop. I think I'm winning. So to get the point,
eight to one, it's been fun playing with you. I'm
sorry it hurt so bad. Okay, says twenty to one.

(13:55):
Whatever right here? See it? Okay, okay, this is why
we don't play games. Have you noticed that you and
I never play games just us too. And the only
game that you and I have played just us too
was that farm game that then we played for thirteen
hours straight, just planting and harvesting and planting and harvesting.

(14:17):
But otherwise we'd never play games. And I think that
this is why, No, we always play with other people.
But this, I think this is why we stuck kept
playing games just you and I because you get so
annihilated by me. No, girls, we don't know who's scoring.

(14:38):
It's look, bro, second time. You just because you crump
up a piece of paper doesn't give you any kind
of credibility. One, yeah, one you. I want to do
a couple more rounds and then we move on to another. Okay,
all right, okay, all right, whose turn is it? Though?

(15:05):
Name three people who are in the mafia, My mom, my, dad,
and you. Yeah, I'm not in the mafia, but like
I would have said the same thing, A hundred points
to Griffin door places. You should not get a tattoo
um inside of your lips, inside of your other lips

(15:26):
on your butt. I just want to know when were
the first lips you were. You'll never know. Okay, you
can give b turn? Oh, boy. Name Three reasons to

(15:48):
call in sick. Oh, explosive diarrhea. Um, you slipped and
broke your ass and that's it. Time's up. Great chop
a really good explosive diarrhea was the only one that
you actually gave and finished. Okay, get creative with this one,

(16:11):
you feel me. Ways to remove hair, waxing, plucking, threading, girl,
don't look Diaries of a girl with big guy of brows.
Name three things that you would steal if you could. Oh, Um,

(16:32):
the Eiffel Tower, all the animals from the zoo and different.
The game is five seconds, not eight. You're gonna have
to speed up what you delivery. But my dreams are big.
You get to know them better than you can handle it. No, no,

(16:59):
Emily it you can suck about your officially on probation
Germania German. At least that person in the game that
takes forever on her turn, so long that often you're like,
whose turn is it? Because em is still on hers?
You can shook a right. Name. Three reasons to apologize.

(17:26):
You're sorry you hurt someone's feelings, who did something bad? Boring? Boring? Boring? Okay,
let your eyebrows on fire. I stole all your underwear.
I wow, All of a sudden she can answer the question.
All of a sudden, she beats the five seconds. Very funny.

(17:46):
Name three assets of the opposite sex? Oh um, nothing
definitely not the hair and smelling. Don't know if that counts.
Not anyone wore, asked me. Nothing definitely not the hair.
It's fell like okay? Uh? Named three STDs oh, chlamydia, gonorrhea,

(18:20):
No affects. One in ten are affected by it. Just
it matters if you know how to switch it on
her own. Name three things you'd hate to find in
your burrito? Hair, an animal, a nail? That counts. I

(18:49):
know it counts. I'm just thinking about the people eating
chicken and steak eighty one zero Me give me the
card the thing no waiting for you to grab a card.
She's losing, So fucking okay, I quit, quit, I quit.

(19:12):
But I do have a really good idea. Tell me,
I have a game that we can play that you
love that's not points based, so none of us have
to count. Even though it was very clearly seven three
to zero that gave me winning, But there's no points
to this game, which will be to our advantage because obviously,

(19:34):
neither of us can keep counting. It's just a game
that you love that I love. Could drum roll? Please?
Would you rather I can thank you, thank you, thank you,

(20:09):
thank you. All Right, you go first. Okay, let's start

(20:32):
it off light, nice light warm up. Would you rather
slide down, naked down a very inclined slide of razor
blades into a pool of alcohol? Or would you rather
put toothpicks under all your toenails and kick a wall

(20:53):
as hard as you can? Just a little light one
to start? Ah too, to Toothwix. You can see Gem's
eyes right now, Toothwix, and the reason is it will

(21:14):
leave a smaller mark. They will both be excruciating. I mean,
I get it, but like imagine kicking the wall and
having to kick it with the other. Honestly, you should
have points removed for the goose bumps that I have
on my head right now to get points added on
your head. Okay? Would you rather watch your conception or

(21:43):
have your parents watch your children's conception? WHOA, well, my
children are dogs, son. Have your future child well, you
know what, I'm gay, so it would probably be strangers
because this turkey paster. Okay, wait so okay, wait watching

(22:08):
my conception? Like, do I have a time machine and
I'm going back in time and I'm there in person?
Or is it on a camera? I met like on
a camera? But sure machine? No, no, no, no, you
can't abridge it now, I didn't you know? You asked me,
and I'm answering. Go I would scoop my eyes out

(22:32):
with an ice cream, Scooper. That's not an option. It
is what are the other? What are the other? You know?
The you know? Okay, I have them? Watch my children's
conception and I would never have children. Don't don't work
around you aren't out there? Wants me if you're listening

(22:54):
law schools out there? I will take Scottish will take it,
he says Jims, a lawyer. But I'm thinking, and I'm
small and I'm ready to crawl exactly. You're the kind
of person i'd probably be defending. Oh you okay, your turn. Okay,

(23:16):
this is really dark. Okay. I know that you think
that you're the queen of darkness over here, but you've
got somewhat competition. Right, eat your dogs or have your
dogs eat you, have my dogs eat me. That's crazy, Emily.
You don't really feel that way. If the world was
ending and it was either your dogs eat you or
you eat your dog, world is ending. I don't want

(23:37):
to be alive. Let them meet me. I can't kill
my dogs, can't do it. I wouldn't be able to live.
If that was the only way that you could survive,
I would die. But what if you had people that
depended on you? I don't, but what if you did?
Because the world isn't ending right now, so it kind
of is. It's on its way, all right. I'll take
their foot. That's enough to sustain me. I don't have
to kill their whole ass. Their foot. Yeah, there's nothing

(23:59):
in dog feet that would sustain says dog feet. Oh yeah,
because you're the you're you know to guess that dog
feet cannot offer you. Yeah, not on their feet. Yeah no,
it's just feet. Hello, you never had have I ever

(24:19):
had doge turkey leg, not even one leg. They'll be
able to be there, will be able to survive. I'm
not killing them, but that's not But that wasn't the question.
The question was I'd let them kill me. Why do
I want to stay alive if the world is ending
anyway and the only ones left to me and my
dogs got Maybe your children and I don't have their families.

(24:43):
Might you might know that's not said that at the
beginning of the question. You know what, I disagree. I
disapprove of your answer. No, I will accept it. Your turn, Okay,
my turn, Here we go. Would you rather never be

(25:05):
able to hear music again? Or never be able to
experience like taste or the satisfaction of eating again? Wow? Ah,
I would pick never to be able to taste or
the satisfaction of eating again, because I'd be one skinny,

(25:28):
joyful musical bitch. I don't need anyway, so I'll take
Would you rather have fingernails so long that you couldn't
pick anything up? Or a tongue so long that it
always hung out of your mouth and you could barely speak? Wow?
I feel like I'd be really fucking popular if I

(25:49):
had a tongue that long. I mean, Jesus, like, it's
so long it doesn't have like full function, full function.
It's like the guy with the eighteen inch schlung who like,
I'm sorry what the guy with the guy is the guy?
Who are you asking me? Because I know that you
know you love this kind of ship the guy you know,

(26:11):
he like hung weights on his foreskin and ended up
growing so long. But like it's useless, you know, it's facid. Yeah,
I know that it's you. I love you. It's okay.
I know that you're talking about yourself, so doubt okay,
but yeah it'd be your talk would be like that,
like virtually useless. So which one? What's my other option? Again?

(26:33):
Figure nails so long that you can't pick anything up? Ship?
I need both those things. I guess I'll take the
fingernails so I can sing. Still. Would you rather have
to kill one of your family members or torture ten
strangers one of my family members? Like? This is the

(26:58):
trolley question. This is a trolley question. There's no there's
no witting answer here, and I don't know why you've
put me in that position. All right, all right, I
feel very offended by this question. No, I'm not doing it. Okay,
although if you would have specified family member, perhaps I

(27:19):
would have had an answer. Okay. Would you rather go
on Instagram live? Okay? Okay, you have to go on
Instagram live naked and put various fruits. You have to
do like a sensual dance with various fruits naked on
Instagram Live are the fruits like covering mine? They're everywhere everywhere,

(27:41):
but you're no, no square, your narples are open, your covered. No,
nothing is covered. But you know what my boops are
for the people? They should they should, they should enjoyed them. Okay,
I'll continue. So you gotta do a naked fruit dance
on Instai naked fruit dance on Instagram, or you can
never go on Instagram ever again. Instagram, I mean, you're like,

(28:04):
there's still TikTok. Literally there's TikTok like there was mine.
I'm sure there's another one on this way that we
don't know about yet. Babe, do you remember what the
first game you ever played was? Probably Peek a Boo?

(28:24):
I think that I just think about it. Probably you know,
somebody played Peekaboo with me as a kid. I didn't
mean like I feel like I played Twister a lot.
You know, Tag was probably my first. We all played
Tide and Seek. That was I think that was everybody's
first game. Hidn'te or No. I had a leap Frog,
So I know that there were like some educational games there.

(28:47):
I think that it's clear that I've won both rounds,
both games, going Yeah, I'm talking to you, just speaking
the truth here. Whatever you say, everybody knows the truth.
They hundred one literally your face, don't listen. We should
probably say goodbye in a way we haven't in a while.

(29:13):
I don't know if you're up for this. Okay, I
think we should Garthur and Cat our way out of here.
Oh you think so? I think so. Explain to people
where Garth and Cat are they? If they don't know,
they've got to figure it out. Just look at Garth
and Cat. But I think that we should garthan Cat
are are way out of this. Well, it's not actually
garthan Cat because I mean, we've been preparing for this.

(29:39):
We've been like getting no, Nope, totally. I just didn't
want to make people nervous by listening and knowing that
we've been working on this song for so long, I know,
and putting it out there like this, you know, being
good as vulnerable as we have been, but really just
taking the next step with you guys. It's something then

(30:00):
we're not sure. We weren't sure. At least we were
ready for it. But for some reason, today feels like
the right day for something like this, especially after all
the hours that we put into rehearsal the choreography, which
one day we'll be able to show you. Yeah, we're
gonna start just right here. So um, we've actually been

(30:21):
working on an entire album, but we're gonna start with
one song to say goodbye to you all. And you
remember what it's called. Yes, I remember what it's called.
Well game, yeah, alright, take it away? All right? So
goes like this, Hey do you but they told me

(30:59):
could what? So that was our way Waki episode. And
I have some really really exciting news to share, and
it is that Mission Control has now opened. We are

(31:22):
now accepting messages via voicemail at our in our Own
World pod headquarters phone number. So if you want to
reach us for whatever reason, please send us in bananas
with vegan feeling that you made at your house. Please.
That's the only thing, looks, that's the all the reason
you want people to call. No, they can call for
whatever reason, but I'll take the in bananas, okay. So

(31:45):
if you want to reach us, you can call us
at four zero eight seven one to one three, or
if you didn't catch that, you can go to our
website www dot in our Own World pod dot com
and you can see all the unfo there. That's right, baby.
We can't wait to hear from you guys. Please reach
out and um, thank you for joining us. I hope
you took a breath and a laugh, and you know,

(32:08):
get off your iPads, play some games, take a load off.
We have had a blast having you in our quote
unquote living room here because if you were, we would
definitely be playing a game. And um, we hope to
see you next week to continue our space travel and
this beautiful journey that we have with you. Thanks for
listening and thanks for joining us on in our own world.

(32:29):
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