8. Space is GAY!

And so is this episode. Space Commanders Gem and Em debunk lesbian stereotypes, attempt to make (and break) a Guinness World Record, and even talk about that one time in band camp. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Captain on the camp. I have me the same. Let's
go to the one I was trying to captain, ready
for a same launching. Whoa baby, it is the time,

(00:34):
It is the time, time time. Do you guys have
no idea? Emily and I are rowdy today. We're in
a mood. We're in a mood. We're coming at you
live in a mood. Happy Pride Month, babees. What a
day to be gay, What a day to be gay.
I am so happy. This is a wonderful month. For

(00:56):
those of you who may not know, June is usually
Pride month because we're memorating the Stone Wall riots that
happened in June many years ago that led the way
for a lot of the rights that we have today.
And it's a great time because you know, us gaze
historically who had to live behind closed doors. I mean
we still do in the closet, and you know, while

(01:20):
we've made a lot of progress, we still have a
lot of work to do, and it's just wonderful to
celebrate who you are and all the hard work that
each and every one of us had to put into.
Finally look at ourselves in the mirror and say, no
matter what, no matter the consequences, you are you and
that's a wonderful thing to be baby. I love that.

(01:43):
And you know what else, we have to take a
little bit of responsibility because we live in Florida. Yes
we do, okay, And with everything that's happened this year,
I just want to say, right now, we are trying
to break a record that I'm assuming has never been broken,
which is the amount of times in a podcast to

(02:03):
say the word gay. Yeah. Okay, I don't know if
that did it, but we'll see. Well, no, we're just starting.
So obviously we are half joking, but not really because
I'd really like a certificate. But um, we're in Florida

(02:25):
and we're in Miami, which sometimes feels like another country.
Absolutely there, it's it's a melting pot. There are like
so many people, so many languages, so many Latin influence.
In Florida. We're dealing with this don't Say Gay bill,
which is disturbing and really upsetting. And before you say
the bill doesn't say don't say gay. We know that

(02:48):
it's just a nickname. Thank you, sorry, continued the end.
But anyway, Um, so it makes me really sad that society.
Sometimes I feel like we take ten steps forward and
thirty five steps back. And you know that's the way
of who knows. People who live in fear or are

(03:09):
afraid of what they don't understand, trying to tip the
scales in their direction. But love is always going to win.
And um, it's conversations like these and and trying to
come from the positive perspective and make sure we educate
our children and the people around me as much as
we can. And also, you know, we're speaking from our
queer experience, and everybody has a different experience. Everybody has

(03:31):
a different opinion on how to handle these things. So
we just want to let you in on some of
the conversations that we have in our home and our
big lesbian home. Yeah, for sure, we're in no way experts,
were no way experts. We are just two gay girls
who are sharing our gay experience on this planet. There's

(03:51):
two more points for the gate, Oh baby ship on
your right. Careful, um, get gay gay game. Just squeezing
in as many as I can take kind of opportunity
that you can, it's the only way we'll be able
to do this. So speaking from our queer experience, See
what I did there, I loved that clear experience. My
queer experience has been really interesting, sometimes beautiful, sometimes really

(04:13):
painful and eye opening, and believe it or not, something
I think that's different that I've noticed, at least about
being a queer woman is that, no matter what from
a lot of different people, in many different communities, you're
still a woman. In the experience of being a woman
is unique on this planet you already have, you know.
For example, I feel like a lot of men see

(04:35):
queer women as like this hot experiment that you know
is like a kink or turns them on sexually women
in general, or seen as an object on the earth
that's meant to exist for men's pleasure. I mean this
is like we see this everywhere today in the way
that media is presented and the way that women are represented,
and the way that gender roles are commonly viewed in religion.

(04:56):
As far back as anyone can date, I mean, we
literally couldn't vote. You know, people are like that was
a million years ago. I was like, no, it wasn't. Yeah, no,
it wasn't. So anyway, those you know, experiences together and
feeling like completely invalidated by so many people, not only
your relationship but warping it into some weird sexual thing,

(05:18):
you know, which is another thing that I've faced, and
I've seen people facing the queer community, and you know what,
it's way more fun over here with all the cake
and glitter, baby and nothing glitter, glitters and mestic cleanup.
I mean, glitter is great, but yes, it is a
best to clean up. Yeah, there's a lot of there's
a lot of misconceptions about the lesbian experience. I mean,
there has been places throughout history where lesbianism has been

(05:41):
exploited for profit. I mean just recently, there was an
article I remember a couple of months ago. I was
so outraged by the New York Post that wrote, lesbian
ism is a new fashion, you know, like why people
are dressing like leslie and what does that? He even mean,
what does it? I don't stand that because it's a

(06:01):
sexual orientation and has nothing to do with how we
express ourselves, with how we dress, with how we look,
you know, lesbian. There's a spectrum of lesbians. I mean,
this is my lived experience. I cannot tell you how
many times I've heard when somebody finds out that I'm gay,
because I don't hide this at all, but it's not
something that I introduce in the first few words of

(06:23):
meeting me. It's a part of my life. It's not
all of who I am. And so when the conversation
naturally takes the turn where I probably mentioned you as
my partner or whatever, and somebody realizes that I'm gay,
they're always like, oh wow, I would have never thought,
because I'm more feminie, I'm a femi. Yeah, there's there's this.
There's a range of lesbianism, and it's not, you know,

(06:45):
a token to castion for some kind of positive advertising.
It's not something that you can objectify. There are so
many different beautiful kinds of human beings that are a
part of our community, not only the lesbian community. You
said something really important which bothers me a lot too,
that I feel like, as a queer woman, I have

(07:07):
to fall within what makes somebody else comfortable. So yeah, like,
you can be gay and you can like women, but
I still want you to look hot, and like, don't
dress like a guy and don't look good. Oh my god,
that's like the Latin. Latin cultural obsession is like masculine
presenting lesbian They despise them. Yeah, and which is that
that woman wants to be a man, and no, why

(07:31):
do you Why are you so fixated on the details
of what makes us who we are? That's what makes
us special. That that shows me that that person is
I don't know, intimidated, afraid, you know, doesn't understand. Maybe
they're dealing with their own feelings, God knows, but when
you are trying to, okay, you can be that. But
within my box, that's where I feel like a lot

(07:52):
of dangerous stuff starts too, because then on the receiving end,
I hate for people to feel like, oh, I have
to live in these certain lines, you know, if I
want to live comfortably, you know, like I have to
be fem you know, if I want to be treated
by men a certain way even though I'm gay, you
know what I mean. And I've seen it. I've seen

(08:14):
specifically in Miami, you know, like where a very mask
butch presenting lesbian, you know, has problems with the family
because oh, you're just trying to be a man. You're
just trying to be a man. Like it's like almost
as if they separate the sexuality component because that can
be for them, separate it from like what they want

(08:35):
a woman to roll what roles they want them to fill,
you know what I mean, And that makes me super uncomfortable. Yeah, totally.
And I mean there's I think just in general, lesbianism
is misrepresented. I think a big part of that is
because there are not a lot of spaces that are
held for lesbians. Um not just obviously in media in

(08:58):
a way that's not sexual role or not a novelty act,
but even in real life. I mean it's a fact
that lesbian bars are on the decline and have been
for decades now, and there are less and less lesbian
spaces or you know, queer centered spaces. There's a lot
of male dominated queer spaces, not many that dedicate themselves

(09:21):
to women. And you know, even in movies like do
you remember the movie The Kids Are All Right, where
More played one of the parents. That movie was directed
by a lesbian, or at least a woman who is
married to a woman. I don't know her actual orientation,
but that movie infuriated me because the climax of the

(09:44):
film was that Julianne Moore has an affair with a man,
and I felt like, wow, here's the first time that
I'm seeing really in like a major picture, a lesbian
family represented in this way, and she sleeps with a
man like that was that was the horror. That's another thing,

(10:04):
that you're just a lesbian because you know you haven't
had good Let's get into it. There's a lot of
stereotypes of lesbian is not only that before we get

(10:27):
to the stereotypes which are really important the representation, right.
I was reading, uh the other day in my research
for this that the L word is actually one of
the biggest used phrases because you know how there's like
dating apps now that are like for specific things, so
they take data from those apps and they can see

(10:48):
which is creepy and scary. So be careful out there.
If Christian God, we're not on dating apps. Hey, people
are dating apps now to make friends, which is pretty cool,
do you no? No, But I know a lot of
people who do and like make friends that way. Now
I'm going to be skeptical. I mean, you could just
stay tuned next week where I will reveal if Jim
has a secret. I mean I had, but like before,

(11:13):
you said, you know where your bed is and I
know where mine is? Um anyway, so the L word
was one of the most used phrases amongst queer women
or lesbian women, and you know what is crazy? Tell
me this is true or not? And I want to
hear from y'all out there. Um, I feel like it's
like a rite of passage. You handed it down to me,

(11:35):
you know, etcetera, etcetera, and like the out But you
know what, that is the only show or representation where
it's mostly a queer female dominated space, you know, not
always now it's come back like even when you have
like I remember in Gray's Anatomy they had uh, oh
my god, Callie and the blond lady Arizona. They were

(11:55):
a gay couple, and um, it was incredible too because
I was like, wow, this is you know, the first
time that I saw and I was already older. Now
I'm so happy that kids have a lot more. At
least if it's one gay couple, it's better than no
gay couple. You know, we need more lesbian spaces, more
lesbian shows. Sign us up, Hey, maybe we can create them.

(12:18):
It'll just make everybody happier. There are some, you know,
some more stereotypes that exists for lesbians, and I think
that we can help our audience to debunk or or
verified or bunk is I welcome to MythBuster. I am

(12:40):
I'm Jam and we have absolutely no qualification. Okay, so
we've talked about, you know, masculated feminine roles, but there's
a lot of there's a lot of stereotypes for lesbians
and masculine feminine roles. A lot of the times, once
your favorite question that everybody asks you, and now you
are going to fight that happened? Who's the man that
really bothers me? They look at a gay couple and

(13:02):
again to make them comfortable, right, but sometimes you do
this to me and I tell you that it bothers me,
they say, oh, well, you're the You're the guy in
their relationship, you know, and you're the girl. The other
day somebody that we love dearly told us no, no, no,
But obviously m's the guy. Obviously she's going to have
to propose. What do you mean why? Well, you said
you you said you wanted to propose. Okay, But what

(13:26):
I'm saying is, even if I do, and even if
I did right right everybody around me, I'm the one
that they come to to say, so, what are you
gonna do? More feminine presented? So that's what I'm saying.
And by the way, a lot of those traditions and
things stem from ancient things that are misogynists. That's one
of the things that you don't have in a lesbian relationship.

(13:48):
It's a lot less toxic masculinity, yes, and a lot
more femininity. Well. Actually, you know what's funny. So everybody
looks at me, they say, she dresses a certain way,
her hair is short. You know, I I've talked like
Stevo's little sister. I've heard that more than once, which
is actually, I love you, Stevo. Can you come on
the podcast? Oh my god, this is an official request.

(14:10):
I will do whatever he wants. Are you serious? You've
heard it here. First, ladies and gentlemen, Emily will lick
a taser or whatever Steva wants if I've already put
an electric shock collar around my neck to test. The
first of all, it's not an electric shock collar. It's
one of those dog trading collars. And it's not like
I said, I'm not putting it on my damn kids

(14:31):
without putting it on me. But you know what I
don't got for. I put it around my neck and
they never entered wearing it. Not so trauma that you
don't have for and he would get his way thinner
than dog skins. Let me run that back, because I
kind of do have fur. I'm fuzzy time you're fuzzy.
It's huge. Um so yeah, So it really bothers me
when people impose those things on me, And you know what,

(14:53):
maybe I should check into why it bothers me and
sort that out. But I really think, like the whole
it has to be this way. You have to propose,
you have to blow up. Well, that's a few explosions
sound right here. That's what that That's how the stereotype
is debunked. Because the masculine and feminine role that people perceive,
what people think is the standard hetero sexual relationship would

(15:15):
observe you and I in those roles. Now, it just
so happens that we do naturally take a lot of
those roles. But on the contrary, there's a lot of
ways of which our roles are are are switched. And
I find that that's more common in a lesbian relationship
than anywhere else. Like you'll see the girl that's more

(15:35):
masculine presenting and then the girl that's more feminine presenting,
and the one who is actually more feminine in the relationship,
in the roles of the relationship will be the more
masculine presenting one. But yes, masculine presenting is one thing.
But then I also feel like there's something important that
we can't skip out on, which is how we fix
these things right, is the energy, because masculine and feminine

(15:59):
energy g have nothing to do with the way that
you present. I don't like looking at these things as
male or female. It's it's an energy. It's exactly you
know it's and by the way, it's also hormonal. You
know there are there. I don't like saying that there
are no differences between men and women. Well that's not true.

(16:19):
There are, and there's nothing wrong with that. We can't
pretend like there aren't the differences to be equal and
understand that we bring equally amazing things to the table.
And how we can you know, unite. For example, everybody,
we are all in the womb. We all start with vagina,
as y'all look it up. Everybody starts with a clip.
And if you turn into a man, if they don't

(16:42):
start with vagina, they start as everybody starts as female,
they don't start. What I'm saying is that your your clids. Okay,
if it forms into a penis, a penises come from clips.
So you're all, oh my god, So I think I'm
agreeing with you. Everybody is a lesbian, no matter what
your sexual orientation is. Everybody started with a clip. There

(17:05):
you go, boom to Guinness World Records broken. I told
you we're routing today. Completely ignore what she just said.
That is only partially true. The wording choice was what
was wrong? But I know what you were trying to say. Yes,
that's why I told you. But now we got into

(17:25):
a whole tangent. But what I was trying to say
to begin with, is this, the assumption that masculine and
feminine roles exist in a lesbian relationship is not the
way that people perceive it, because, like you just shared
and I happen to agree, is that masculine and feminine
energies are just that, their energies, and so they can
exist within different bodies at different levels, in different ways.

(17:46):
And ironically enough, it just so happens that a lot
of times in a lesbian relationship, the one that's more
feminine presenting tends to be the more masculine one, and
people have a big bosh around here. You wear the
pants and I wear the shorts. How's that? Yeah, you

(18:08):
were the pants and I wear the pants suit. I
love that. We're just what was it? Queer experience? We're
making sure at the end of this episode with all
the things that why not, why not? Why not? So
that's one um stereotype that exists. You know, we we
mentioned that people assume that we're gay because we hate
men or because we wish we were men. That's that's

(18:29):
the other one that they would that we would know guys.
So sorry, sometimes because sometimes you want a penis doesn't
mean you want to be a verry. Okay, you know
what if we have patois end, there's another stereotype. Well
that might be something true in some instances, but it's
not an absolute Okay, So yeah, that's one uh or
or the ever so famous you just haven't heard, good duke.

(18:53):
I hate that. That's first of all, super disrespectful. Second
of all, you know, not the case, dog, not the case.
Because if you want to talk about the numbers of
lesbian sex, versts, heterosexual sex, we can absolutely go there.
So we can go there. Actually, let's let's let's go there.
Did you know that, according to the National Health and
Social Life Survey, that lesbians experience more orgasms and compared

(19:16):
to women who are having heterosexual sex, that lesbian sex
last longer. Wow, jem I know a lot longer. By
the way, where was it like ten the average? By
the way, where are they getting fees? They asked? They
do survey. They literally asked and straight women about their
sex life and they are self reporting. No, I don't
need a good dick. So yeah, I've been with men

(19:38):
and women, and not that I haven't enjoyed my time
with both, but the sex is definitely different. Yeah. Actually,
another thing that I'd like to share because as we
all know, space is really gay. Space is gay that technically,
out in space in zero gravity, it would actually be
a lot easier to have a homosexual sex than heterosexual

(20:00):
sex because of the same mass. Because you know, two
men are more likely to be more similar in mass,
so their center of gravity is similar, so they they
don't have it easier. How much time have you spent
thinking about this space? Oh? I researched it. Oh. I
wonder if anybody's had sex in space. I don't either,

(20:23):
like for science, being the person space with the purpose
of studying sex, or if they're like Intobedia, or if
they're or if they're like into b D s M,
they can like be taped to the edges of the ship.
I don't know, just saying, wow, space sex, space is
gay and sex. You can always live rent free in
your brain. Yeah, there's a there's just so many there's

(20:45):
just so many misconceptions. You know, another one. And I'm
sure all of us gay women have experienced this growing up,
or maybe just all gay people growing up, where the
automatic assumption when your family finds out that you're gay
is that every friend you have is or was a
lover every No, Mom, no, no mom, I'm talking to you.

(21:08):
Guys we worked the same way, just some of them.
Do you want to sleep with every man you see?
Probably no of them. No, Yeah, that is That is
a big one. I will say, I have a theory,
and maybe it's not my own theory, but it definitely
is my experience that before you, or at least for me,
before I accepted my sexuality, and I feel like I've

(21:30):
noticed this in other gay women. You have a series
of like really intense best friendships. Like my childhood was
comprised of completely platonic relationships like to this day, you know,
but I feel like growing up I had those like
super intense friendships. I feel like we can be in

(21:54):
love with our friends blotonically. I feel like that's what
a really good friendship is. You know. However, as a
a woman, there were moments where I remember like being
super young and like looking up, you know, is it normal,
you know, to feel this intense about a friend. That's
literally best friendships are like the water mark. Those kinds

(22:15):
of relationships for me though. They made me, over time
understand who I am and come to terms with who
I am and accept myself. But it doesn't always start
like that. There are so many queer women that I've
spoken to, you know, especially after you know, having that
conversation with my mom on red Table and everything that
have shared. There's a lot of shame in you know,

(22:36):
being gay, whether you're a man or a woman, and
it's it's I feel like it's harder to find someone
that just had a very easy experience because one thing
is sharing it with your family in the world, but
one thing is like figuring it out yourself, you know,
and there's no right or wrong there's so many different ways,
you know, to be a part of the queer community.

(22:56):
I would love a world where you know, if you
want to try dating a woman because maybe you're interested,
go for it. And if you don't like it, then
you're not You're not into it, and that doesn't make
you anything except more capable of love, more capable of
loving other people, and perhaps sexually interested in more things
than you know John Doe is or Suzanne Saying is.

(23:17):
But anyway, so so yeah, just like more openness because
I was scared. I remember somebody who I ended up
actually dating. We were in a band camp and not
a bad from I know, I do know. And we
were obsessed with each other from the start, like literally
from the first day of you do yes, okay whatever.

(23:42):
So we were obsessed with each other from the beginning.
We were inseparable, like always hanging out. We just always
we had that natural click as humans. And so I
just thought, oh my god, this is my new best
friend and I'm obsessed with her and she's obsessed with me,
and this is the greatest thing ever. Yeah, except one day,
are entire our entire cabin, which was like six girls

(24:03):
and one shower was taking turns taking a shower, and
I was exhausted, honestly, and I wanted to take a nap.
So I was like, wake me up when everybody's done showering,
and then not shower. We took a nap in the
same bed, cuddling. But that was natural to me because
I'm a very affectionate person and the people around me
have been affectionate, my friends especially, and so I would
cuddle with my friends and share it love in that way.

(24:24):
And so we were we were sleeping in the same
bed and then she wakes me up by giving me
a kiss on the nose and like so gay. But
even at that point, I was like, oh, like I
think I had a thought for half a second. But
then you know, all of it, all of the training
and all of the indoctrination kicked in. I was like, no,
like she's just a friend, Like, oh, what a sweet friend.

(24:47):
Move you know, so nice? It's so nice you guys dating. Yeah,
So we all have our own our own ways and
there's no wrong way, okay, babe. So another lesbian stereot type.
I feel like this one comes in a bundle. If
you're vegetarian, you have cats and you're driving. Okay, so
but don't let me tell you something. Those are those

(25:08):
are ones that I considered to be half truths. Hold on,
Not only are they have truths, We're making the world
a better place people, carbon emissions, vegetarianism, come on, those
are things to and cats. I'm allergic. And you know what,
it's not my fault that there's a lesbian god up

(25:29):
there somewhere who literally a stray cat showed up on
our door and like marked us like a freaking mythological animal.
Her name is the on it. She adopted us. She
showed up what David was like, this is my home.
We were like, okay, so yeah, they're they're they're half
truth because I do think a lot of us, I
mean not all of us, but I do think a

(25:50):
lot of us, depending on where you live and what
your cultural background is, check off a lot of those boxes.
And I would just like to think it's because we
are from outer space or we've always been more forward thinking.
So now the whole world is just going to follow
the gay Well, the whole world has always sort of

(26:10):
followed the game entertainment. Everything that you're wearing and all
the little things are and do come from us writers,
You're welcome. No, we've influenced culture a lot and then
have to be forced to be behind the shadows or
feel like it's a shame when we're literally contributing so
much beautiful art, and it's because it took us a

(26:31):
long time to get there, because it's not easy to
grow up in a society where you know, people think
that to the degree that you should be dead. I mean,
let's not kid, We're very lucky, even though we're facing
the problems that we're facing living in the United States,
living in the state of Florida. You go to certain
countries and you'll be stoned to death, literally literally stoned

(26:51):
to death for for loving somebody else, which has always
confused me. Forget the fact that I'm gay. From from
the human perspective, I've never under said why one person
could be so up in arms about somebody else's personal
life and a matter of their life it involves them
and their partner. You know what's another lesbian stereotype that's

(27:12):
also true but actually has a really interesting backstory. Okay,
it's that the lesbian car is the super u. Well,
obviously we saw that in the L word, but do
you know that there's some truth. There's actually a lot
of truth behind this. I don't know if people realize, no,
because it's it's really interesting. I don't know if people
realize how this happened. So here it goes. In the nineties,

(27:36):
super U was actually doing research into their market and
they realized in certain parts of the country a lot
of their consumers were lesbians. Because Subaru is not a
flashy car that you know, is able to pull some
weight behind it and whatever, So they thought, why don't
we market to this community. And this was a normal

(27:59):
concept because in the nineties, I mean the nineties was
a very tumultuous time. That's when you have the defense
uh no they don't ask, don't tell, and the Defensive
Marriage Act coming into place, and so there wasn't a
lot of positive gay representation, and so Subaru started marketing
their campaigns directed at queer people. And so in their

(28:20):
ads they would have things like license plate that said
Zena Lover, you know for Sena Warrior Princess, which is
like obviously a nod to the Great Girls because like hello,
Zena was definitely king or like uh they would put
out slogans that were like it's not a choice, it's
the way we're built, or get out and stay out,

(28:41):
obviously referencing like Subaru's outdoorsy nature, but nodding towards gay people.
And they found that that was like that there was
a huge response to that from the gay community. Don't you,
don't you? And so, And it's true. I mean, it's
not that they were trying to take advantage and they
really did realized that they had a market there, but

(29:02):
they catered to that market and it was successful for them,
and it was actually I mean, there was there was
some marketing for there was some marketing for the gay
community at that time, but Subaru sort of doing that
started to spark a lot of changes in terms of
how gay families and queerness was represented in the media.

(29:23):
Like in the two thousands, everything started changing. That's important too,
That's what we were talking about, having spaces, having representation.
I'm going to buy tense subar Us. We don't all
drive suber Us, but I guess a lot of us do. Jeez.
Apparently there's also there's also another truth. This one's just
like a straight truth. And this is what I think

(29:44):
is like one of the biggest perks of being gay?
Is that a lot of the time you double your closet. Yeah,
you double your fork in closet. You know how much
we pretty much like today we're like, let's wear these
shoes to take that shirt off. But I don't think
it's like hello, potato head of clothes. It has gotten
to the point where your dad is literally will buy
a pair of shoes and be like, this is for

(30:06):
you and Jim. It's because by the same shoes aide,
you save money. You have an eclectic closet. And I
don't know what it is, but I feel like after
a certain number of years, like it doesn't happen all
the time. It really doesn't. But there are sometimes that
gay couples. This is between all of the genders where
the two people in the couple will start to like

(30:27):
look like each other. Well, we get that a lot too,
are you So that's another are your sisters? Are you cousin?
Just because we have shower eyebrows, That's what it is like.
And I think we look nothing alike. We look nothing alike. Yeah,
and I'm transparent and I'm not, so that's second big one.

(30:49):
But yeah, no, oh my gosh, um oh what's another
one that I really really really don't like. No, we
don't want to have a threesome with you and your girlfriend.
Oh my god, don't. We don't want to have a
threesome with you at all. Actually, you don't know how

(31:22):
many times as queer women, if if they know that
you're a couple, they'll still approach you, and then you
tell them no and they'll still try that. It's that's grows.
So we were in Vegas the other day and people
come up to you and they put their hands on you.
They have no boundaries, and then the disrespect of like,
oh that's okay. Oh my god. We were in a
bar once. Oh man, I would say, I would say

(31:43):
I'm sorry to this guy, but I'm really not. I
would do it again today. So throughout their hat, guy,
I have two words for you, and they're not happy birthday. Um.
So we walk into this bar and Gem and I
are there and Jem is wearing a hat, and this
guy approaches and immediately like just ass is that normal
personal spaceline? And he touches her hat and like goes

(32:04):
along the brim of her hat with his hands. You
know all, you know, all delicate and goes, I like
your hat. Um, so he doesn't, he breaks personal space whatever,
and I'm just letting him talk. And he starts to
flirt with Jim, who was looking extraordinarily beautiful that night,
as she always is, and and uh, he's like, oh,
so you know you got a boyfriend or and she goes, oh,

(32:27):
actually this is my girlfriend. And he goes, oh, okay,
I could have two girlfriends. And I said, Um, I
took that opportunity to speak in that moment and say yeah,
and uh, if I chop your dick off, we could
be three girlfriends. I can attest to this. She said
those exact words. I gotta pat myself on the back

(32:48):
for that one. That was really good. That was really quick. Um. Yeah.
But for those who are wondering, he he got quickly
turned around. Yeah, And you know what, that's another the
things sometimes you know, I get two heated in those
situations because sometimes they deserve he I get it. You know,
we're all working towards being more zen, we're all working

(33:09):
towards not being triggered by other people's actions, but it
could be infuriating. When I spent my whole high school
in college partying experience going out with whoever a girl
that I might have been seeing at the moment, and
dancing in bars and clubs. And you don't know how
many times I have seen a guy, usually not even
a guy, I would say a boy, but still a

(33:30):
young man bring on his phone to film. Yeah, like
what dog, you don't got porn hub? No. And at
one point I was with my girl start, who I
had been with for like three years, four years at
the time, and it was just like such a such
a major disrespect to somebody that I loved so profoundly.
And then you know, invalidating that through their one action,
I've I've slapped down a phone or two. Oh yeah no.

(33:52):
And that's now with the media, Like you don't know
where that video is going to end up, what's the
intention behind it. It's a violation. It sucks and it
happens lot. Another lesbian stereotype. All lesbians have slept with
each other and they're girls, so probably like kind of true.
There's alright, there's like the six degrees of lesbians. That's real.

(34:13):
That that is hello, the L word the board. You
know what's another stereotype that's super true. And I will
fight any lesbian out there that says it's not, because
I bet there's an example of it somewhere. They're perifering
the lesbian urge to merge. Oh you mean you hauling? Yes?
What does the lesbian bring to her first date? What herself?

(34:34):
What does she bring to a second date? What are
you in front of it? Yeah? Probably a super in
front of it. No, I don't know what it is that.
Maybe it's that we just get so excited. The truth
is is that it's really it really is like dating
your best friend, because we obviously, as women, have so
much in common, and so there's an attachment there that

(34:56):
I don't know that you can find is common between
men and a woman. And so you know, I just
I don't know, but we move in together so quickly.
There's a scientific reasoning that could support that. Actually, yeah,
I was doing research because you know, you don't want
to mishandle any of this information. And who doesn't love
a good lesbian dive on the internet. Um, So, obviously

(35:20):
men and women have varying hormones in their bodies. We
all have different kinds of hormones, right, and as we know,
and Billie Eilish also knows oxytocin al right, is a
specific hormone that women emit tons of in moments like
falling in love, having sex, and even breastfeeding. You know, um,

(35:40):
so double the women, double the oxytocin, right, and those
feelings of connection which which come with you know, our
relationship and you know those really intense which is another thing.
You know, sometimes girl on girl relationships get very very
intense and passionate because it's just a different set of

(36:01):
hormones in a different way, of different love languages, you know.
So that could be a reason why we want to,
Like I was reading online, it says that we will
it's like a craving to be together, you know what
I mean, Like you don't want to be a part,
you know, And I feel like I've seen a lot
of my friends to who this isn't healthy and we
should work on it collectively, because it's important to be
aware of these things to two women are so I know,

(36:24):
like for my sake, I when I liked that feeling,
and I didn't want to be apart from you for
one second, you know that, you know I didn't. I
would drive you to work six in the morning and
go pick you up in thirty minutes because I wanted
to be with you so bad. You know. What's another
one that I hear a lot, and I don't know
obviously have never lived on this planet, or at least
that I can remember as a male, and so I

(36:45):
don't know if this is the same for them, But
I feel like a lot of females when they're first
coming out here this a lot is like, oh, that's
just a phase, that's just a fing, you know, And
that's really offensive for two reasons. And I'll tell you why.
Because somebody expressing their feelings and going as far as
having the courage to tell you a part of who

(37:05):
they are, knowing how the world receives that information, maybe
even being aware of how you might receive that information.
It takes a lot of courage and it takes a
lot of active vulnerability to get themselves there. So to
disqualify it in a way like that, it's hurtful. It's hurtful,
and not only does that close the doors of communication

(37:26):
within your relationship. You know, whether this is a friend
telling a friend or a friend telling a family member,
whatever the case is, you know, beyond that eat, even
if it is a phase, it doesn't make whatever your
loved one is telling you in that moment any less valid.
You know, I believe that sexuality is fluid, even though

(37:48):
I consider myself to be one of the gayest people
I've ever met, and I'm sure you would agree totally. Um.
I believe that sexuality is fluid, and that there are
moments where perhaps you feel an attraction or a connection
with one gender, and then maybe you will feel an
attraction and connection with another gender, and it's perfectly fine.

(38:08):
That's perfectly fine the whole. It's just a phase. Phrase
needs to die. It just needs to be annihilated for
several reasons, or we need to reclaim it because I
think phases are a beautiful thing. I agree with you
that sexuality is fluid, and I think that we have
the capacity to fall in love with the soul and
the human being. But sexual preference is also something. I
don't think that any gender identity or any human being

(38:31):
should be shamed for any kind of exploration sexually or otherwise.
That it's not hurting anybody, it's adding more love in
the world. It's opening up your mind, you know, your
connections to other people. So we should reclaim It's a phase.
I hope people have more phases, you know, like, oh yeah,
when you go to college, you know, everybody has a

(38:51):
gay experience. I wish, funny enough, I've actually met married
women and I had a conversation with a front of
mine's mom once when I was very young, probably too
young to be having this conversation with her or she
admitted to me that she had a sexual experience of
the girl in college and that it's the best sex
she's ever had and she was married with her husband

(39:12):
at that point for over twenty years, no offense. And
there's also validity and just having a sexual experience because
you feel like it yeah, and doesn't make you who
you are or anything. I'll never forget one of my
best friends in college, he's a gay man, and you know,
gay men have their own set of issues. You know,
they want, you know, trying to be imposed masculinity on

(39:35):
them and all these other things. And in the same
light that we're not taken seriously, you know, they're treated
a lot more violently, violently, you know, I feel like so.
But anyway, he was sharing with me his coming out process,
and he told me an incredible story about how he
when he came out to his dad. His dad, you know,
instead of saying I accept you, he said, I don't

(39:57):
accept you because saying I accept you implies that there's
something that you are. Oh, despite you being gay, I
still love you. You don't accept somebody that's gay or queer.
That's who they are. You know, if you find out
that someone had a quote unquote phase or they're gay,
or they're queer or whatever the case may be, or

(40:19):
that is why you love that person, that's what makes
them who they are, not the other way around. It's
not something that despite that you love them, that implies
that it's wrong. And I thought that that was such
a beautiful thing and a valid thing because we've also
perpetuated this, Oh I accept him, I accept her. Oh
I have a gay cousin, or it's like, no, make
it a thing. I've messed so many gay people, and

(40:41):
I've met so many people who find out that I'm
gay or we're gay, and they'll be like, oh, my
cousin is gay, have the gay best friend? You guys
totally need to talk And I'm like no. And that's
the thing about accepting or not accepting, you know, the
irony of all of this is that exploration and sexuality,
and homosexuality specifically is probably one of the most natural

(41:02):
things ever. I mean literally, they're what like overt species
that have shown homosexual tendencies, Like literally, by nature, it
is natural the dolphins. Wow, that was really good. Thankye yes,
so gay ga ga ga ga ga ga ga gay gay.

(41:24):
I love the fact that we are talking about creating
these spaces, you know, for everybody. And by the way,
I want a lesbian bar, not so I can go
hook up with girls, but so that you feel I
want some more lesbian friends, not only guys, not only that.
You know, there's a gay bar, male dominated gay bar
in Miami here and there's that's the thing is that

(41:45):
most skate bars are male dominating, right And when we
went in there, one thing is, oh to make up
something in your head. But we would literally get like
shoved around and like you're not welcome here and like
staring at us, like you know, and you don't want
to make it another stereotype that lesbians hate game and
that's such bullshit. That's bullshit. I am a gay man. No,

(42:07):
you kind of are o lord. You and I we
don't talk about the fact that we're gay, Well, we're
at home when we're going about our life. We're not
you know, hyper analyzing the dynamics of our relationship based
on the fact that we're gay and feeling they need
to overcompensate. We're just a couple who loves each other,
who loves doing a variety of things. It's literally the

(42:30):
same we fight about the trash and who leaves their
clothes on the floor and set up in the hamper.
I feel like that's a misconception. People will be like, oh,
gay people, all they want to do is talk about
gay gay, and they're you know and all this and
all their friends are gay, and first of all, it
doesn't matter. And second of all, it feels like you
want to come join. So this is my invitation, come
come to the gay side. We got we got vegan cookies. No, no,

(42:52):
you're not invited. I'm not invited. No, they're not invited.
They're not invited. No, we're out of tickets. Yep, Well,
don't be a new batch. Just kidding. That's the thing
is like, you know, it's an inviting space. We're free
over here, baby, And it took us a long time
to get here, and a lot of hard work to

(43:13):
get here, and so we own that space that we claim.
That's right. We don't care if you don't like our glitter.
We don't care. If you don't like our feathers, We
don't care if you don't like any if we're stuck up,
if we're dry, or we're borrowing or for vanilla for mainstream,
we don't care because we just are. And we don't
need your permission to do so. Thank you, everybody. You

(43:37):
don't need permission to do so. And like being free regardless,
take sexuality out of it. If there's something in your
life that's caging you, freedom is the most valuable thing
you can have as a human being. So Rocket Rocket, Yeah,
we're colorful over here. Okay, gay, okay, start doing that.

(44:00):
Oh but okay, you started laughing. You're just like, the
next generation is not going to have the trouble that
you and I had and are and they're coming out
of experience it. And we just saw it with a
member of my intimate family and it was mind boggling,
and I was so proud and so happy that this

(44:23):
person was able to stand up in the way that
they did. I know, and I would just do it like, yeah,
balls to the wall, Like, hey, guys, by the way,
has some going to tell you I'm gay? Like that
for me, it was a lot more difficult. For you,
it was a lot more difficult. And I love that.
I hope that we've paved the way, and I hope
that they continue to pave the way because the fight
is not over. It's merely just begun. We have a

(44:46):
lot where to go. I think that kids nowadays are
impressing me in a lot of ways when it comes
to this topic. You know, people walking out of schools
and you know, even young people. Hello, the rise of
lesbian stars. Oh yeah in the music scene, thank you
TikTok for this. Yeah, like Fletcher Do, Cameron, Hailey, Kiyoko,

(45:09):
I mean, you've got those girls. Are proud. I'm proud.
Shout out to you ladies. Man. You know, we didn't
have you when we were listening to rock bands. I
mean we still we still idolized our people. I'm looking
forward to a lot of stuff in the future, but
they're still a lot to do. So if you're listening
to this, thank you so much for joining us on

(45:29):
this journey. We're very proud. Wink wink to have gone
on it with you. And the month of June is
notoriously pride month. So if you have a pride in
your city, whether you identify as a member of the
LGBTQ plus community or you know somebody, or even if
you don't go out there, it's a lot of fun.

(45:52):
It's a lot of joy, it's a lot of colorfulness. Uh,
support your local organizations. You know, there are a lot
of great causes out there that are working towards a
lot of things. You know, there there's an underrepresented youth.
There's still a dark part to all of this, and
there's you know, a large part of the population who

(46:12):
is struggling with with this part of their identity and
unfortunately meant their mental health suffers as a result of it.
So be happy, be who you are, and do it unapologetically.
Seconding that's it. Hashtag work, hashtag pride, hashtagga giga giga gay.

(46:33):
And one more thing we would love to hear from you,
So if you go on our website www dot in
our own world, pod dot com, you will see a
contact phone number there where you can call and leave
a voicemail and let us know what you think. Ask
us some questions and maybe you'll be featured on an episode.
Who knows. Well. This concludes today's flight, but as we

(46:56):
all know it in our own world, we've got flights
for days. So book your ticket for an next week
and strap in or strap on. Oh either will do.
Clearly appropriate and happy pride to everybody. Yeah, okay, last one,
last one. Okay. This is a Moonflower production in partnership

(47:19):
with I Hearts. Mike was due up podcast Network. For
more podcasts, visit the I Heart Radio app or wherever
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