September 28, 2022 • 37 mins
For most of us, resistance to change is part of being human. Those moments when you know something has to give can feel quite overwhelming. When an identifying part of yourself falls away, you are forced to ask: What's next?
Whether it's a relationship, a job, material possessions, or a habit, a break-up can trigger a break down. But you know what comes after that? A breakthrough.
Today we break down the process of breaking up. When a path is cleared before you, it's an opportunity to rebuild from the ground up. Join us as we discuss: why it's important to avoid the victim label, how spiritual practices can get you through these periods, and how the Tower card in tarot symbolizes releasing and rebuilding.
Earth School is hard, and shake ups are inevitable. Join us on the Other Side, where faith resides, guiding you to the breakthrough with grace and compassion.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of My Heart Radio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie. Hi there,
I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side. Now,
y'all need to know that we are obsessed with everything
on the other side. Yes we are, because once you
(00:22):
learn to navigate the energetic, or to some the invisible world,
life is going to be more fun and much more serene. Heck,
yes it can, because, let's be honest, brand Earth School
is hard. In fact, you taught me that let's crush
Earth School together. Hello, my witchy boo. I don't think
(00:45):
that you're super happy with what I titled this episode,
But how are you? It's just my dislikes a gift.
You know. I'm doing great, my elf. I will follow
your lead as all. And how are you? Oh? I
guess I'm making too many word games. So I want
(01:07):
to call this one breaking down breaking up, so to
really break down a breakup. And you know, we humans,
we break up with stuff all the time. We break
up with sugar, we break up with jobs, we break
up with chocolate, we break up with cherry pie. Oh wait,
I'm getting off topic, but we break up. You you
(01:28):
broke up with Crew Necks. I broke up with Crew Necks, Yes,
I did. And ps, one of my friends I grew
up with also broke up with Crew Nex before she
knew I did, and so friend, I just remember it
was one of the first things that you You were
talking about Ruben's house. Sounds like huh. But I had
(01:51):
to break up with them because I was tired of
being called sir anyway, But actually it's not about you
know what's it's funny, but there's also truth to it, right,
it's fair, it's about it would be very fair. It's like,
I'm tired of being called sir, and so I'm going
to stop wearing what I think is what was leading
to being called sir, and for the record, have not
been called sir since. So we do things right. We
(02:16):
do things to clear a path for ourselves. When you
want something different, you have to shake things up, and
sometimes that requires breaking things. Yes, it does, Yes it does.
And you know, everybody's gone through a like a a
relationship breakup, and I mean that like a intimate boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife,
(02:39):
whatever it may be, break up. Everybody has. I don't
know abody who hasn't even friends, like when friends break
up all the time, friends break up all the time.
And also when we quit a job, we're breaking up
with the job. We're breaking up with Yeah, you know,
And I have to tell you, you you know, I didn't
break up with Fox. They started dating and disonate and
(03:00):
got rid of us. And that was really and that
was a breakup. Like I really struggled with that. Oh
you had to grieve, right, You're like, oh my god,
I lost it so much. I know it was such
a sweet spot for you. And you have that requires grieving.
It's totally does. It requires grieving. And I always think
about whether you're breaking up or breaking down, it all
(03:22):
leads to break through if you can stick with it, right.
Look at you now getting there, look at you go right?
I mean thats like we have to we have when
we want a different outcome, we have to change something right,
and sometimes we have to break a couple of things
before we figure out what was actually needed and required
(03:43):
to get where we wanted to go to find that right.
And sometimes you don't see it coming because I don't
think we want to. You know, we are these critters
that like to think that things are permanent, and the
reality is ain't nothing permanent, and the only thing that's
constant change, right. So you know, I've had a little
(04:04):
share of this lately myself, and yeah, I have UM
and and in our true fashion, when we don't actually
want to reveal people's names, we'll make one up. And
I had to tell everybody something very funny, even though
(04:24):
this overall story isn't funny, but this is hilarious. So
Brenda and I, you know, we kind of pre game,
and so we were on the phone and I was
walking Silkie um around um and Brenda's like, well, you know,
my elf, don't you want to like come up with
another name to use, you know kind of thing, And
I'm like, yeah, for this lesson, it's like, just want
(04:48):
to use another name. And I'm like, yeah, that's a
good idea. And she and Brenda, you said, well what
do you want to use? And I go, I don't know,
you pick and you said Claire, and I'm like, oh, okay,
let's use Claire. We talked a few more minutes and
you had to go. You have friends that read the door,
(05:08):
and so we hopped off the phone really fast, and
again I'm walking sulky. I see this young woman walking
another dog, and I talked, to all people that walk dogs,
it's like mean dogs, and so I meant or mean
people isactly, that's very true. Um. So our dogs are
kind of, you know, doing the you know, sniff and butts,
doing the whole thing, getting to know each other's names.
(05:30):
And so I looked at this young woman. I said, well,
my name is Julie. What's yours. She oh, my name
is Claire. And I bust out laughing. And she looked
at me, and I said, okay, well, let's have to
tell you I have I'm a co host of a
podcast to the other Side because I'm a storyteller. It's
what I do, even when you don't want it. Um.
(05:52):
So I tell her the story and I go. When
I said and I go, when you were walking towards me,
you probably saw my mouth moving, she's yeah, and I go.
That's who I was talking to. So within seconds she
said Claire, and I go. And she's a very very
gifted psychic, even though she claims she's not. And I said,
and and I go. The name she wanted me to
use for a story is Claire. And I said, and
(06:14):
here you are the Claire standing in front of me.
Those are those little moments when you just look up
and say thank you Universe. Such a little giggle is
that It just tickles me, just a giggle and just
a little slice of magic. You know. It's just it
was just really fun. So anyway, so um, we'll talk
(06:36):
a little bit about Claire. We'll talk about other relationships too,
because I don't think we have to take up the
whole show with this. But you know, I just like
to say, because right and teaching at l and helping
people figure out how guides interact with you, this is
just a way to because obviously breaking up can be
a very intense can't even be traumatizing for people. And
(07:00):
when you get a little giggle like that from the universe,
it's it's also an affirmation that says it's okay to
tell this story. Right. This may not be the final
version of the story right because it's it's unfolding, but
like it just gives it's a little giggle that says
we see you and you guys are working in this
and it's fine. Like it's a it's a little affirmation.
(07:21):
So I like that. I love that. I love a
good affirmation, especially the ones that make a giggle real
my gosh, I just I mean I I I got
back to the house and said to Susanna, I have
the greatest story for you, and I tell her and
(07:41):
she just lit up. She goes, oh my god, it's amazing.
Just those fun things. Right. So, you know we've talked
before about just like life journeys, right or or we've
talked and we've also talked about contracts, We've talked about
out um uh, just all all types of relationships actually,
(08:05):
and as critters really like to think that things, you know, friendships,
relationships last forever. And you know, I remember when, Um,
after mom died, you said to me, you go, you
never really understood that your mom would actually could ever
be gone, like it was a possibility, right, Like that
(08:25):
was part of my crushing grief is that I never understood, realized, admitted,
whatever it may be, that this person would not be
in my life. It was not okay with you. That
was not even an option. It was not okay with me, right,
not even an option. So I have come to understand
(08:46):
that not everything is is permanent. I have come to
understand and sometimes people come in our lives for either
long periods of time for us to either be a
student or a teacher. Both understand that people come into
our lives, sometimes briefly, for whatever reason it may be,
and what I've learned is to honor that right. But
(09:10):
I went through one just recently that was rather shattering
for me, with this person that we will call Claire,
and I think that the lessons of it have been another,
I guess, kind of graduate level lesson about how we
look at our life and take inventory our life and
(09:32):
you know, who do we want to be? Because that's
the other thing I always go through with all of
this is, you know, when something hits so hard and
it does hurt, I go to this place like who
do I want to be? Now? You know what is
this meant to be for me? Am I supposed to
go in there? And it reminds me of the Tower card?
Do you want to tell everybody about the Tower card?
(09:53):
The Tower card in Toro is one of the majorcane
of cards. So it's inviting us into a major life
lesson about releasing right. And sometimes we get a hit like, oh,
you know, maybe this isn't the best for me. Oh
maybe you know this is giving me small Usually there's
an element of like it keeps me in a smaller
(10:16):
behavior pattern than where I am. From a vibrational level,
I should be playing bigger, wider, you know, stronger, and
um So, then if we don't pay attention to those
those intuitive hits, eventually the universe comes in and takes
it from you. That says, Okay, we gave you a
couple of runs at it, but we got it from
(10:36):
here and and you're in a deep state of surrender
and usually shock. That was me. And I also remember
when I took you know, Tarot classes from you. One
of the things that I really loved and how you
described it was because it's it's depicted as like a
tower that's coming down, people jumping out of it, you know,
(11:00):
lightning strikes, and I mean it is, yeah, the foundation
of the building, whatever tower it is, is like it's
not just like oh, it's it's swaying, like the foundation
is being shaken and so like it's coming down. It's
it's being dismantled, right, And you can't build it the
(11:21):
same way because it will come down again, is what
you said. And you were like it if you want
this relationship effectively, you have to start from the ground up.
You cannot go back from where it was. And again,
we are creatures of habit. That's why we don't like change, right.
We run so much of our lives from habit. Oh
I know where my toothbrush is. Oh I know where
my car is parked? Like you know, like when you
(11:43):
know you've walked out of places where you parked your
car in a different place and it took you like
fifteen minutes to figure out where you parked, right Like,
like we are so much our life has run out
of habit. And so if you whether it's a relationship
or a company or you know, family members, whoever you're
rebuilding the relationship with, if you're if you don't stay conscious,
(12:03):
you will rebuild the same pattern. And so it takes
a lot of energy to build something that's new, a
lot of energies. You have to be committed, Both parties
have to be committed to create something that's new, otherwise
it will be repeated. Right, it will come down again.
And let's take a break, and we're going to take
a tower break. Tower break. Thanks everybody, and welcome back
(12:33):
from our tower break. I hope it was not that
for you. But if it was, it's okay because it's
leading to breakthrough, exactly right. And the thing is, I
just lived the tower. I just lived at what you
just described, which was all of those signs that I
didn't want to see or ignored. It's so incredibly humbling
(12:57):
and and and I came down crashing with that structure.
I'm so sorry. Well, thank you, sorry, not sorry, You're right. Sorry,
not sorry is exactly right, because there is in everything
you know, there's always something to be gained, and usually
if you do it right, you're gonna gain more than
(13:19):
you think you lost. Right, that's the breakthrough, right, that's
get the breakthrough. And it's hard, it's hard as hell
is you got a dig for it. You have to trust.
This is literally where faith comes in, right, because the
faith is knowing Like I'm jumping off this cliff. I
didn't I didn't plan for this change. I don't want
(13:39):
this change. And as I jump off this cliff, either
two things are gonna happen. Either the earth is going
to rise up to me me or I will develop
wings to fly like that's it, Like that's the trite saying,
and it is real, and that's why you have to
do your spiritual practices, whether it's breathing or yoga or
meditation or mala's or mudra's or whatever whatever it is
(14:00):
in the woods, swimming, whatever it is that gets you
common center, you double down on those behaviors to help
guide you when you don't know the path. When you
don't know the path, you have to have these practices
in place to catch you. And I prefer wings get
didn't know. So that is what I feel like that
(14:20):
I needed to um to sprout when this happened, because
it was, you know, a rather shocking kind of moment
for me. And I'll try to just briefly describe because
some of the details are not terribly important. But Claire
got mad at me for something that was somewhat ridiculous
to me but not declare, and decided to ice me out.
(14:42):
So a way that a lot of people deal with
me when they're angry is they ignore you. They send
you to exile, and you know exiling people, and it's
just so everybody knows, exile is ignoring for the records,
if you want a definition, and nowadays people do it
(15:02):
all the time, and it's like, I'm not going to
text that person. I'm not going to talk to that
person because you are trying to make them feel like
they don't matter. And if anybody is familiar with Maslow's
hierarchy of needs, self actualization is at the tip of that.
And self actualization is that I matter, and somebody exiling
you is desperately trying to take that away from you.
(15:23):
So if that's happening, folks, I want you to know
that's what it is. It happened to me. I'm so
sorry that happened, thank you, and not sorry that happened,
and not sort right it is. This whole story is
a sorry, not sorry. Yeah. And the thing is, what
I would say is when you know you you had
a relationship with Claire, and when something that you saw
(15:46):
is very kind of like this is non sequitor like this,
this reaction is so strong, in my opinion, compared to
what actually took place, you know that when that happens,
things are things are being figgered from the past. And
so I'm assuming that's true in this situation as well.
I think it has to be. And and so we
(16:06):
don't know, right if Claire, if you're not engaged with
Claire at this time, and so you just have to
say somehow she didn't have skills to bring up what
was truly painful for her or upsetting or disappointing or
hurt hurting her in some way, we don't know, And
then you know, it's got to bubble up. Because when
when we have needs, it is human nature to have needs,
(16:29):
and when we don't give ourselves permission to state those needs,
or we have hidden expectations that people will automatically know
our needs, we like to do that one a lot.
Everybody is a mind reader well, because it's so much
easier than us having to take responsibility and having to
state this is what I need in this situation. Can
(16:49):
you know? Because we're putting ourselves out there, it's very vulnerable.
People can reject us, they can judge us. It's very scary.
And so when they can't, when people can't state their
own needs, or that conversation isn't open even though you
think it is, like you don't know that they're not
what they're not stating, and you're stating your needs in
the process, and you're in the relationship or what you
(17:11):
want or what what can be fun or you know,
whatever it is you're you're moving through like it thinks
it's a two way communication, but you can't know what
people won't share with you. I don't care if you're
you're just like, I don't care if you're not, Like,
it doesn't matter that that expression accountability and responsibility is
on the individual, it's not on the person engaging. And so,
(17:32):
you know, so it's it's not surprising then that. And
we've all had this experience. We've on either side of
this equation, like, oh my god, I didn't even realize
things were bubbled up until I just had had it,
you know, Like I recently had one of those we
are not talking about that today, but I was like,
are you flipping kidding me? And and like it just
becomes very clear and it's human, like we just have
(17:54):
to be able to to state it is hopefully elegantly
or communicated in some way, because it has to come
out as it did in this slightly sideways version of Claire. Right,
And I'm always okay with somebody telling me they're not
(18:14):
happy about something I am. It's actually very true. I
am so good at being perfectly imperfect. I will adjust
if I feel it's necessary. But the thing is I
need to feel that it's necessary. And so when somebody
can communicate with me in a way that UM isn't attacking,
(18:35):
because attacking is not going to go doesn't get you anywhere. UM,
then I'm very open. It's like, you want to tell
me I have a problem with something, that let's talk
about it. You know, I'll own my side of the
street all day long. How do I think you have
a way? Because you know specifically where I've seen this
for you, as in professional settings where someone will come
(18:57):
at you and you still hold the space of grace
to go, Okay, we gotta we gotta get to the
other side of this. So I don't agree with any
of that noise, but let's talk about what what you need,
right and so you'll you'll be very spacious in that way.
I don't really know. I personally don't know a lot
of those in your personal space. But you know this
(19:17):
is same. Yeah, that's it's the same, you know, And
and but I will I do own things. And I
think that anybody who is of any significant friendship with
me knows that. I also know that I'm very direct
about stuff like if I don't want to do something,
I will just like you by the way. I mean,
(19:38):
like I you are. You are my idol about not
doing things that you don't want to do. And this all,
this all started from a place. I mean, the the
tower started coming down from a It's a kind of
a ridiculous story, but it's I think it's it's very
ego based, which is we all have it, we all
deal with it. We all must be comfortable with it,
(20:01):
you know, find a way around it, understand what it is.
But it was, you know, I can handle somebody being upset.
I've also one thing I've learned is I've learned to
be very comfortable and discomfort. So somebody's mad at me,
I'm gonna let him be mad. I I because I
have been at times in my life where all I
(20:23):
have done when somebody was mad. It's kind of like
when I'm going to use Sukie as an example, when
Suki like shoulder's paw at me and because she wants
my attention, like are you mad? You? Mother and mother
and mother, you know, and it's like, I don't want
to do that anymore. I decided years ago that if
somebody is mad, they can be mad. I will honor
their space when they want to actually talk to me.
(20:46):
I will. I will listen and I will talk back,
but I will not do and say things that I
don't mean, that are not true to me. Because we
all get in these places where we get really uncomfortable
when somebody's mad and being mad, and some people use
anger as a weapon to control you. Right. So I
felt this happening without it, without a doubt. I saw
(21:08):
this happening and said, those are the warning signs, right
that that the universal I saw the exile. I saw
all of these things, and I remember one morning I
woke up and I said to Suzanne, I go, I
am now free from this relationship because this is not
(21:29):
who I am. I can't continue doing this. I will
never make this person a villain of any of my
life stories. I will always only want the best happiness
whatever for anybody, by the way, that's ever touched my life, honestly,
even my ex step dad. Like, I don't want any evil.
I don't want any of that for anybody. That This
(21:50):
is not the vibe that I I want to live in.
I don't want bad things to happen. I don't want
I I it's that's I don't know how else to
say it, but that's that's what it is, as and
it and it this experience, interestingly enough, has been the
healthiest I've been for myself because I didn't go claw nice.
(22:14):
We need to break down. We we do, okay, well
we do. We'll have a claw right, We'll be right
back and welcome back. And I love, sure, I love
(22:36):
and appreciate your generosity and and even telling this story,
how honoring you are of your relationship with Claire that
had such a long history, because what you're sharing is
your experiences and your choices, the things that you couldn't control,
like how she took something as hurtful or what she
didn't say along the way possibly we don't know about,
(22:58):
Like there's all these things we don't know about, but
you're sharing your story and you're learning lessons, and so
I just that's a really honoring place to be. And
you know, you said how gracious it was to say,
you know, she will never be like this evillent of
my story character, the villain of my story, and that's
(23:20):
a that's a very high road to take. So I'm
assuming that you've had other experiences to contrast that with, oh,
I've been an asshole there is no question if that's contract.
I mean, that's enough contract for you. There's your answer.
I mean, are you kidding? Of course I have. I mean,
how would I know? It's you know, will always talk
(23:42):
about you again, Okay, go back to talk about balance.
There is a balance of light and dark in the world. Right.
One of my favorite movies is Beauty and the Beast,
because how do you know that? Right, Because it's about
how do you know beauty until you've seen the beast?
You know the beast beast until you've seen beauty. So
of course I've been an asshole? Would I know not
to be one if I had not been one? You know?
(24:04):
But it was all ego, right, it was all protection.
It was you know. I mean, gosh, unfortunately there's too
many for me to count at the moment. But I
remember things going bad with different people and say, well,
fuck them, I screw them. I hope they bl blah
blah blah blah. Again I've done that, whether in my
head or out loud, but I did. But that is
a very low vibe way to live. It was sure,
(24:29):
it is all of those things, but but it's an
important step along the the path, right. It's an important
step along the path. That says, so being a mature
isn't wrong. Sometimes it's appropriate for you know, your Earth
School journey, like hey, I gotta check that box. I
check that box a couple of times. You know, I
reviewed that course a number of times. I got the
(24:50):
weight several times on that one. I got a duplication
on that one, like it happens, and and it's part
of the Earth Schools experience. So there's not judgment as
much as empowerment for what do you want to do
this time around? Right, and to say, you know what
that's that's and I don't even in what I what
(25:12):
I've really embraced. It's going to sound weird about myself
in this um is I don't want to make this person,
or by the way, anybody else, not even just play
of anybody else, a villain of my life story. And
it's not because I'm afraid of karma or I know
(25:32):
everything has a price. I actually, in my soul don't
want that. I just don't. And it's not that I yes,
go ahead, Well, I was just just gonna say the one
thing I actually think the exile the thing about that
when if that's how if you've ever been you know,
ghosted or iced out or you know exiled in this way.
(25:55):
The gift of it is you can't engage because the
engage men can be a relief and a distraction. So
you're out of the discomfort because hey, what we're talking,
even if we're arguing, like we're talking, so I don't
have to actually feel everything deeply. And so that what
the exile does this like say, what can I actually
do in this situation? Because there's so much you can't
(26:18):
do when you're not engaged with the other person. So
like you like to say, you get really clear about
what's on your side of the street. Yeah, you get
really clear about what I can control, what I where
I want to engage, where I want to double down
on and focus. How can I create these breakdowns, to
create the breakthrough that I actually am worthy of? And
(26:42):
you know when you woke up and said, I am
free of that right. It's of course there's grieving involved,
but it's it's not this like sometimes grieving can feel
like a bottomless pit. It has no boundaries. It's going
to suck up all your life, all of your energy,
all of your spaciousness in there and other times, right, yes,
(27:05):
and sometimes grieving is just very specific. I'm sorry it
couldn't be different, right, I'm sorry I don't have what
I thought I had. But clearly there was some deception
or misunderstanding or illusion about what I thought we had
because it wanted it want to roll this way if
that were true, and I totally agree, and I you know,
(27:28):
and I'm I also in that exile spent time owning
my parts of things because I do believe in the
math equation it takes two. There is not one relationship
that has been blown up that was because solely of
one person. It doesn't exist. That math does not exist.
(27:49):
The math that exists as it takes two. And that's
why we come to Earth School, and it's why we
come to Earth School, and it's why I but I'll
tell you what I owned in this because I think
it's important is that if anybody else is dealing with this,
or even if it's something that happened ten years ago,
you can still deal with it. Because the part that
(28:09):
I learned about myself that I didn't do is I
actually didn't take care of this relationship as I evolved.
I wasn't clear, I wasn't clear on who I had become.
My becoming I was not clear on. I was not
clear that I wouldn't tolerate certain things. I wasn't clear
(28:32):
even to myself. I even went backwards on some of
my own behaviors, Like I found myself on things I
that I thought I was clear on, but I reverted
for this, you know, this person, for the friendship, for
Clire's comfort. Yeah, and so I was very So that
(28:53):
was the work, right, the work, because any anything that
happens like that, again, it takes to everybody. It is
never one person's fall, even if it's a terrible relationship
and that person acted terrible. Well, sometimes maybe you allowed.
And there's things I allowed and things I shouldn't have allowed,
behaviors I shouldn't have allowed, things I shouldn't have done
that I so own and I know them now. And
(29:17):
this is I don't need the universe to give me
another one of these to learn. And and sometimes the
universe does bring it to you as a bit of
a like I you assure, right, So just be mindful
of that, right, which is fine. You know, I think
of one of our yoga teachers would always say, we
(29:40):
become the company we keep so keep good company, right.
And it's literally frequency, right, it's literally frequency. We we
bounce off. Like they say, look at the people, the
five people around you that you spend the most time with,
You're gonna be most like them than anyone else. Who
do you have late? Are they in that group? Right?
(30:02):
So that's what you're yoga teacher said. Let me tell
my golf coach told me, and tell me, never play
with people who are worse than you. Only play with
people better than you, because you will play like them.
Yes you will, yep. And I think I forgot that
for a while, and I think that um and and
(30:26):
I will also tell you I've been working on a
letter to write, and I'm about a page and a
half in and I think the most important thing, I
think for our listeners is to really understand how I'm
ending this letter right now because I mean it. And
in the letter, I just stated how incredibly grateful that
(30:46):
I am for the friendship that we had. In fact,
I hold so much gratitude it would fill all the oceans.
And that is true, that's so beautiful. I'm so glad
that you can feel that space and let that frequency
continue to heal the layers that will be revealed rights
(31:08):
as you move forward, because as we know, as we've
discussed many times, grief takes time. It does, so yeah,
it does. And I think, you know, for our listeners
who have tow our situations going on. You know, the
letter that you're writing, we don't know that you'll actually
ever send it to Claire, not because it's not it's
(31:29):
not about that, and you might, you might, it might
be like, no, I feel good about this, and you
know it's been long enough for whatever it is. We
don't know, because that will be revealed in the future
one way or another. But the process of writing, as
you know, is hugely healing. It's very reflective, self reflective
instead of for Claire, right, just that process is helpful
(31:53):
for you and energetically that tie that you had between
you is still there. May not be as activated, but
it's still there. And in a way, that ship you're
making through this process of writing this communication, it's changing
and it's getting transmitted to her in some way. So
(32:15):
sometimes it doesn't actually have to be shared, sometimes it
doesn't have to be spoken, but it can still be
a healing force. And I totally agree, and I it'll
be interesting to see if I do send it. But
one interesting thing that happened is the morning I woke,
I'm like, oh I feel free, you know, which was
not a thing I thought i'd ever say. But that
(32:36):
afternoon I started hearing from a whole bunch of old friends,
particularly from California. It's like they got the message because
I think I made this take up more space than
it should have, and I think they felt there was space,
and they is it that interesting? Is so interesting? They
energetically And it's like they all got a memo and
(32:59):
l a energetic. They got an energetic mama, and they're like, oh,
there she is. Because all of a sudden, it was
like a snowball effect. I'm like, and I in this
game being present right like that. We've said this over
and over and over and over again about be president, president,
be present. I'm watching this unfold. I know what it is.
As it's unfolding, I recognize it. I see it. I'm like,
(33:21):
look at that. It's so good, so good, right, And
and that's what I mean really taking that time to write, yes,
you know, I was taking the time to be present
to it. It transmits through the ethers. People if they're
paying attention, they can't not notice it. And even when
all this stuff happens everybody, you can still have a
sense of fucking humor. Yeah, you can still look at
(33:44):
some of this stuff and be like, oh, hello, Tower card.
You know I tipped my hat to you, well done.
You know you can still look at things like that
and you can still you know, it's highly very very effective,
highly recommended. It makes it a lot easier, right because
I know this is not the first time I've been
here in April, probably gonna be the last. I wouldn't
(34:08):
want to break um, but it is. But being present
is the greatest gift. It really is the greatest possible gift,
is to be present and see what's happening and I
understanding because you can process that in real time and
actually have joy. Like I see the things that happened,
like immediately the result, the energetic result, and I'm like, wow,
(34:35):
this ship is real. That is an awesome summary. That's
it's real. But no matter who you break up with,
what you break up with. Because I had to go
through this when I left Fox, I mean it's it's
(34:57):
because it was a part of my life that I loved.
I didn't want to be over. This is a relationship.
I wasn't ready for it to be over. I didn't
know it was ever going to be. There's just things
that you do have to deal with and as much
as you could be present and open yourself up in
that energy and the writing is magic. In fact, those
that have read my book, thank you for actually buying
a book and reading what my therapy session was for
(35:19):
three years. Um. But writing is that you become clear
and remember breaking up, breaking down, if you can do
all that leads to your breakthrough to what's next. Yeah,
and then deserve it. And as Brenda went and looked
at my chart and said, oh my elf, of course
(35:41):
this was going to happen. And also astrology can help
to Astrology doesn't hurt. It does not hurt at all.
It does not hurt. I think you talk about neptune
not once did you talk about uranus, and you talk
about neptune a lot. Thanks for listening, and thanks for
(36:04):
listening everybody, And remember our school is hard without the
other side. Thanks everybody, and thank you the other side.
Thank you, bye bye all bye by which poop. Thank
(36:24):
you for joining us everyone, and a special thanks to
our producer Joey pat and our executive producer Maya Cole Howard,
who guides us well. We guide you. Hit us up
on Instagram at other Side Guides, or shoot us a
note at high Hi at vibes dot store. We want
to know what you think, We want to know what
you know, and we want to hear your stories. And remember,
(36:48):
our school is hard without the other Side. Insider's Guide
to the other Side is a production of I Heart Radio.
For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the i
heart Radio app, Spotify, Hi Apple Podcast, or wherever you
get your podcasts. M M
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of My Heart Radio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie. Hi there,
I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side. Now,
y'all need to know that we are obsessed with everything
on the other side. Yes we are, because once you
(00:22):
learn to navigate the energetic, or to some the invisible world,
life is going to be more fun and much more serene. Heck,
yes it can, because, let's be honest, brand Earth School
is hard. In fact, you taught me that let's crush
Earth School together. Hello, my witchy boo. I don't think
(00:45):
that you're super happy with what I titled this episode,
But how are you? It's just my dislikes a gift.
You know. I'm doing great, my elf. I will follow
your lead as all. And how are you? Oh? I
guess I'm making too many word games. So I want
(01:07):
to call this one breaking down breaking up, so to
really break down a breakup. And you know, we humans,
we break up with stuff all the time. We break
up with sugar, we break up with jobs, we break
up with chocolate, we break up with cherry pie. Oh wait,
I'm getting off topic, but we break up. You you
(01:28):
broke up with Crew Necks. I broke up with Crew Necks, Yes,
I did. And ps, one of my friends I grew
up with also broke up with Crew Nex before she
knew I did, and so friend, I just remember it
was one of the first things that you You were
talking about Ruben's house. Sounds like huh. But I had
(01:51):
to break up with them because I was tired of
being called sir anyway, But actually it's not about you
know what's it's funny, but there's also truth to it, right,
it's fair, it's about it would be very fair. It's like,
I'm tired of being called sir, and so I'm going
to stop wearing what I think is what was leading
to being called sir, and for the record, have not
been called sir since. So we do things right. We
(02:16):
do things to clear a path for ourselves. When you
want something different, you have to shake things up, and
sometimes that requires breaking things. Yes, it does, Yes it does.
And you know, everybody's gone through a like a a
relationship breakup, and I mean that like a intimate boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife,
(02:39):
whatever it may be, break up. Everybody has. I don't
know abody who hasn't even friends, like when friends break
up all the time, friends break up all the time.
And also when we quit a job, we're breaking up
with the job. We're breaking up with Yeah, you know,
And I have to tell you, you you know, I didn't
break up with Fox. They started dating and disonate and
(03:00):
got rid of us. And that was really and that
was a breakup. Like I really struggled with that. Oh
you had to grieve, right, You're like, oh my god,
I lost it so much. I know it was such
a sweet spot for you. And you have that requires grieving.
It's totally does. It requires grieving. And I always think
about whether you're breaking up or breaking down, it all
(03:22):
leads to break through if you can stick with it, right.
Look at you now getting there, look at you go right?
I mean thats like we have to we have when
we want a different outcome, we have to change something right,
and sometimes we have to break a couple of things
before we figure out what was actually needed and required
(03:43):
to get where we wanted to go to find that right.
And sometimes you don't see it coming because I don't
think we want to. You know, we are these critters
that like to think that things are permanent, and the
reality is ain't nothing permanent, and the only thing that's
constant change, right. So you know, I've had a little
(04:04):
share of this lately myself, and yeah, I have UM
and and in our true fashion, when we don't actually
want to reveal people's names, we'll make one up. And
I had to tell everybody something very funny, even though
(04:24):
this overall story isn't funny, but this is hilarious. So
Brenda and I, you know, we kind of pre game,
and so we were on the phone and I was
walking Silkie um around um and Brenda's like, well, you know,
my elf, don't you want to like come up with
another name to use, you know kind of thing, And
I'm like, yeah, for this lesson, it's like, just want
(04:48):
to use another name. And I'm like, yeah, that's a
good idea. And she and Brenda, you said, well what
do you want to use? And I go, I don't know,
you pick and you said Claire, and I'm like, oh, okay,
let's use Claire. We talked a few more minutes and
you had to go. You have friends that read the door,
(05:08):
and so we hopped off the phone really fast, and
again I'm walking sulky. I see this young woman walking
another dog, and I talked, to all people that walk dogs,
it's like mean dogs, and so I meant or mean
people isactly, that's very true. Um. So our dogs are
kind of, you know, doing the you know, sniff and butts,
doing the whole thing, getting to know each other's names.
(05:30):
And so I looked at this young woman. I said, well,
my name is Julie. What's yours. She oh, my name
is Claire. And I bust out laughing. And she looked
at me, and I said, okay, well, let's have to
tell you I have I'm a co host of a
podcast to the other Side because I'm a storyteller. It's
what I do, even when you don't want it. Um.
(05:52):
So I tell her the story and I go. When
I said and I go, when you were walking towards me,
you probably saw my mouth moving, she's yeah, and I go.
That's who I was talking to. So within seconds she
said Claire, and I go. And she's a very very
gifted psychic, even though she claims she's not. And I said,
and and I go. The name she wanted me to
use for a story is Claire. And I said, and
(06:14):
here you are the Claire standing in front of me.
Those are those little moments when you just look up
and say thank you Universe. Such a little giggle is
that It just tickles me, just a giggle and just
a little slice of magic. You know. It's just it
was just really fun. So anyway, so um, we'll talk
(06:36):
a little bit about Claire. We'll talk about other relationships too,
because I don't think we have to take up the
whole show with this. But you know, I just like
to say, because right and teaching at l and helping
people figure out how guides interact with you, this is
just a way to because obviously breaking up can be
a very intense can't even be traumatizing for people. And
(07:00):
when you get a little giggle like that from the universe,
it's it's also an affirmation that says it's okay to
tell this story. Right. This may not be the final
version of the story right because it's it's unfolding, but
like it just gives it's a little giggle that says
we see you and you guys are working in this
and it's fine. Like it's a it's a little affirmation.
(07:21):
So I like that. I love that. I love a
good affirmation, especially the ones that make a giggle real
my gosh, I just I mean I I I got
back to the house and said to Susanna, I have
the greatest story for you, and I tell her and
(07:41):
she just lit up. She goes, oh my god, it's amazing.
Just those fun things. Right. So, you know we've talked
before about just like life journeys, right or or we've
talked and we've also talked about contracts, We've talked about
out um uh, just all all types of relationships actually,
(08:05):
and as critters really like to think that things, you know, friendships,
relationships last forever. And you know, I remember when, Um,
after mom died, you said to me, you go, you
never really understood that your mom would actually could ever
be gone, like it was a possibility, right, Like that
(08:25):
was part of my crushing grief is that I never understood, realized, admitted,
whatever it may be, that this person would not be
in my life. It was not okay with you. That
was not even an option. It was not okay with me, right,
not even an option. So I have come to understand
(08:46):
that not everything is is permanent. I have come to
understand and sometimes people come in our lives for either
long periods of time for us to either be a
student or a teacher. Both understand that people come into
our lives, sometimes briefly, for whatever reason it may be,
and what I've learned is to honor that right. But
(09:10):
I went through one just recently that was rather shattering
for me, with this person that we will call Claire,
and I think that the lessons of it have been another,
I guess, kind of graduate level lesson about how we
look at our life and take inventory our life and
(09:32):
you know, who do we want to be? Because that's
the other thing I always go through with all of
this is, you know, when something hits so hard and
it does hurt, I go to this place like who
do I want to be? Now? You know what is
this meant to be for me? Am I supposed to
go in there? And it reminds me of the Tower card?
Do you want to tell everybody about the Tower card?
(09:53):
The Tower card in Toro is one of the majorcane
of cards. So it's inviting us into a major life
lesson about releasing right. And sometimes we get a hit like, oh,
you know, maybe this isn't the best for me. Oh
maybe you know this is giving me small Usually there's
an element of like it keeps me in a smaller
(10:16):
behavior pattern than where I am. From a vibrational level,
I should be playing bigger, wider, you know, stronger, and
um So, then if we don't pay attention to those
those intuitive hits, eventually the universe comes in and takes
it from you. That says, Okay, we gave you a
couple of runs at it, but we got it from
(10:36):
here and and you're in a deep state of surrender
and usually shock. That was me. And I also remember
when I took you know, Tarot classes from you. One
of the things that I really loved and how you
described it was because it's it's depicted as like a
tower that's coming down, people jumping out of it, you know,
(11:00):
lightning strikes, and I mean it is, yeah, the foundation
of the building, whatever tower it is, is like it's
not just like oh, it's it's swaying, like the foundation
is being shaken and so like it's coming down. It's
it's being dismantled, right, And you can't build it the
(11:21):
same way because it will come down again, is what
you said. And you were like it if you want
this relationship effectively, you have to start from the ground up.
You cannot go back from where it was. And again,
we are creatures of habit. That's why we don't like change, right.
We run so much of our lives from habit. Oh
I know where my toothbrush is. Oh I know where
my car is parked? Like you know, like when you
(11:43):
know you've walked out of places where you parked your
car in a different place and it took you like
fifteen minutes to figure out where you parked, right Like,
like we are so much our life has run out
of habit. And so if you whether it's a relationship
or a company or you know, family members, whoever you're
rebuilding the relationship with, if you're if you don't stay conscious,
(12:03):
you will rebuild the same pattern. And so it takes
a lot of energy to build something that's new, a
lot of energies. You have to be committed, Both parties
have to be committed to create something that's new, otherwise
it will be repeated. Right, it will come down again.
And let's take a break, and we're going to take
a tower break. Tower break. Thanks everybody, and welcome back
(12:33):
from our tower break. I hope it was not that
for you. But if it was, it's okay because it's
leading to breakthrough, exactly right. And the thing is, I
just lived the tower. I just lived at what you
just described, which was all of those signs that I
didn't want to see or ignored. It's so incredibly humbling
(12:57):
and and and I came down crashing with that structure.
I'm so sorry. Well, thank you, sorry, not sorry, You're right. Sorry,
not sorry is exactly right, because there is in everything
you know, there's always something to be gained, and usually
if you do it right, you're gonna gain more than
(13:19):
you think you lost. Right, that's the breakthrough, right, that's
get the breakthrough. And it's hard, it's hard as hell
is you got a dig for it. You have to trust.
This is literally where faith comes in, right, because the
faith is knowing Like I'm jumping off this cliff. I
didn't I didn't plan for this change. I don't want
(13:39):
this change. And as I jump off this cliff, either
two things are gonna happen. Either the earth is going
to rise up to me me or I will develop
wings to fly like that's it, Like that's the trite saying,
and it is real, and that's why you have to
do your spiritual practices, whether it's breathing or yoga or
meditation or mala's or mudra's or whatever whatever it is
(14:00):
in the woods, swimming, whatever it is that gets you
common center, you double down on those behaviors to help
guide you when you don't know the path. When you
don't know the path, you have to have these practices
in place to catch you. And I prefer wings get
didn't know. So that is what I feel like that
(14:20):
I needed to um to sprout when this happened, because
it was, you know, a rather shocking kind of moment
for me. And I'll try to just briefly describe because
some of the details are not terribly important. But Claire
got mad at me for something that was somewhat ridiculous
to me but not declare, and decided to ice me out.
(14:42):
So a way that a lot of people deal with
me when they're angry is they ignore you. They send
you to exile, and you know exiling people, and it's
just so everybody knows, exile is ignoring for the records,
if you want a definition, and nowadays people do it
(15:02):
all the time, and it's like, I'm not going to
text that person. I'm not going to talk to that
person because you are trying to make them feel like
they don't matter. And if anybody is familiar with Maslow's
hierarchy of needs, self actualization is at the tip of that.
And self actualization is that I matter, and somebody exiling
you is desperately trying to take that away from you.
(15:23):
So if that's happening, folks, I want you to know
that's what it is. It happened to me. I'm so
sorry that happened, thank you, and not sorry that happened,
and not sort right it is. This whole story is
a sorry, not sorry. Yeah. And the thing is, what
I would say is when you know you you had
a relationship with Claire, and when something that you saw
(15:46):
is very kind of like this is non sequitor like this,
this reaction is so strong, in my opinion, compared to
what actually took place, you know that when that happens,
things are things are being figgered from the past. And
so I'm assuming that's true in this situation as well.
I think it has to be. And and so we
(16:06):
don't know, right if Claire, if you're not engaged with
Claire at this time, and so you just have to
say somehow she didn't have skills to bring up what
was truly painful for her or upsetting or disappointing or
hurt hurting her in some way, we don't know, And
then you know, it's got to bubble up. Because when
when we have needs, it is human nature to have needs,
(16:29):
and when we don't give ourselves permission to state those needs,
or we have hidden expectations that people will automatically know
our needs, we like to do that one a lot.
Everybody is a mind reader well, because it's so much
easier than us having to take responsibility and having to
state this is what I need in this situation. Can
(16:49):
you know? Because we're putting ourselves out there, it's very vulnerable.
People can reject us, they can judge us. It's very scary.
And so when they can't, when people can't state their
own needs, or that conversation isn't open even though you
think it is, like you don't know that they're not
what they're not stating, and you're stating your needs in
the process, and you're in the relationship or what you
(17:11):
want or what what can be fun or you know,
whatever it is you're you're moving through like it thinks
it's a two way communication, but you can't know what
people won't share with you. I don't care if you're
you're just like, I don't care if you're not, Like,
it doesn't matter that that expression accountability and responsibility is
on the individual, it's not on the person engaging. And so,
(17:32):
you know, so it's it's not surprising then that. And
we've all had this experience. We've on either side of
this equation, like, oh my god, I didn't even realize
things were bubbled up until I just had had it,
you know, Like I recently had one of those we
are not talking about that today, but I was like,
are you flipping kidding me? And and like it just
becomes very clear and it's human, like we just have
(17:54):
to be able to to state it is hopefully elegantly
or communicated in some way, because it has to come
out as it did in this slightly sideways version of Claire. Right,
And I'm always okay with somebody telling me they're not
(18:14):
happy about something I am. It's actually very true. I
am so good at being perfectly imperfect. I will adjust
if I feel it's necessary. But the thing is I
need to feel that it's necessary. And so when somebody
can communicate with me in a way that UM isn't attacking,
(18:35):
because attacking is not going to go doesn't get you anywhere. UM,
then I'm very open. It's like, you want to tell
me I have a problem with something, that let's talk
about it. You know, I'll own my side of the
street all day long. How do I think you have
a way? Because you know specifically where I've seen this
for you, as in professional settings where someone will come
(18:57):
at you and you still hold the space of grace
to go, Okay, we gotta we gotta get to the
other side of this. So I don't agree with any
of that noise, but let's talk about what what you need,
right and so you'll you'll be very spacious in that way.
I don't really know. I personally don't know a lot
of those in your personal space. But you know this
(19:17):
is same. Yeah, that's it's the same, you know, And
and but I will I do own things. And I
think that anybody who is of any significant friendship with
me knows that. I also know that I'm very direct
about stuff like if I don't want to do something,
I will just like you by the way. I mean,
(19:38):
like I you are. You are my idol about not
doing things that you don't want to do. And this all,
this all started from a place. I mean, the the
tower started coming down from a It's a kind of
a ridiculous story, but it's I think it's it's very
ego based, which is we all have it, we all
deal with it. We all must be comfortable with it,
(20:01):
you know, find a way around it, understand what it is.
But it was, you know, I can handle somebody being upset.
I've also one thing I've learned is I've learned to
be very comfortable and discomfort. So somebody's mad at me,
I'm gonna let him be mad. I I because I
have been at times in my life where all I
(20:23):
have done when somebody was mad. It's kind of like
when I'm going to use Sukie as an example, when
Suki like shoulder's paw at me and because she wants
my attention, like are you mad? You? Mother and mother
and mother, you know, and it's like, I don't want
to do that anymore. I decided years ago that if
somebody is mad, they can be mad. I will honor
their space when they want to actually talk to me.
(20:46):
I will. I will listen and I will talk back,
but I will not do and say things that I
don't mean, that are not true to me. Because we
all get in these places where we get really uncomfortable
when somebody's mad and being mad, and some people use
anger as a weapon to control you. Right. So I
felt this happening without it, without a doubt. I saw
(21:08):
this happening and said, those are the warning signs, right
that that the universal I saw the exile. I saw
all of these things, and I remember one morning I
woke up and I said to Suzanne, I go, I
am now free from this relationship because this is not
(21:29):
who I am. I can't continue doing this. I will
never make this person a villain of any of my
life stories. I will always only want the best happiness
whatever for anybody, by the way, that's ever touched my life, honestly,
even my ex step dad. Like, I don't want any evil.
I don't want any of that for anybody. That This
(21:50):
is not the vibe that I I want to live in.
I don't want bad things to happen. I don't want
I I it's that's I don't know how else to
say it, but that's that's what it is, as and
it and it this experience, interestingly enough, has been the
healthiest I've been for myself because I didn't go claw nice.
(22:14):
We need to break down. We we do, okay, well
we do. We'll have a claw right, We'll be right
back and welcome back. And I love, sure, I love
(22:36):
and appreciate your generosity and and even telling this story,
how honoring you are of your relationship with Claire that
had such a long history, because what you're sharing is
your experiences and your choices, the things that you couldn't control,
like how she took something as hurtful or what she
didn't say along the way possibly we don't know about,
(22:58):
Like there's all these things we don't know about, but
you're sharing your story and you're learning lessons, and so
I just that's a really honoring place to be. And
you know, you said how gracious it was to say,
you know, she will never be like this evillent of
my story character, the villain of my story, and that's
(23:20):
a that's a very high road to take. So I'm
assuming that you've had other experiences to contrast that with, oh,
I've been an asshole there is no question if that's contract.
I mean, that's enough contract for you. There's your answer.
I mean, are you kidding? Of course I have. I mean,
how would I know? It's you know, will always talk
(23:42):
about you again, Okay, go back to talk about balance.
There is a balance of light and dark in the world. Right.
One of my favorite movies is Beauty and the Beast,
because how do you know that? Right, Because it's about
how do you know beauty until you've seen the beast?
You know the beast beast until you've seen beauty. So
of course I've been an asshole? Would I know not
to be one if I had not been one? You know?
(24:04):
But it was all ego, right, it was all protection.
It was you know. I mean, gosh, unfortunately there's too
many for me to count at the moment. But I
remember things going bad with different people and say, well,
fuck them, I screw them. I hope they bl blah
blah blah blah. Again I've done that, whether in my
head or out loud, but I did. But that is
a very low vibe way to live. It was sure,
(24:29):
it is all of those things, but but it's an
important step along the the path, right. It's an important
step along the path. That says, so being a mature
isn't wrong. Sometimes it's appropriate for you know, your Earth
School journey, like hey, I gotta check that box. I
check that box a couple of times. You know, I
reviewed that course a number of times. I got the
(24:50):
weight several times on that one. I got a duplication
on that one, like it happens, and and it's part
of the Earth Schools experience. So there's not judgment as
much as empowerment for what do you want to do
this time around? Right, and to say, you know what
that's that's and I don't even in what I what
(25:12):
I've really embraced. It's going to sound weird about myself
in this um is I don't want to make this person,
or by the way, anybody else, not even just play
of anybody else, a villain of my life story. And
it's not because I'm afraid of karma or I know
(25:32):
everything has a price. I actually, in my soul don't
want that. I just don't. And it's not that I yes,
go ahead, Well, I was just just gonna say the one
thing I actually think the exile the thing about that
when if that's how if you've ever been you know,
ghosted or iced out or you know exiled in this way.
(25:55):
The gift of it is you can't engage because the
engage men can be a relief and a distraction. So
you're out of the discomfort because hey, what we're talking,
even if we're arguing, like we're talking, so I don't
have to actually feel everything deeply. And so that what
the exile does this like say, what can I actually
do in this situation? Because there's so much you can't
(26:18):
do when you're not engaged with the other person. So
like you like to say, you get really clear about
what's on your side of the street. Yeah, you get
really clear about what I can control, what I where
I want to engage, where I want to double down
on and focus. How can I create these breakdowns, to
create the breakthrough that I actually am worthy of? And
(26:42):
you know when you woke up and said, I am
free of that right. It's of course there's grieving involved,
but it's it's not this like sometimes grieving can feel
like a bottomless pit. It has no boundaries. It's going
to suck up all your life, all of your energy,
all of your spaciousness in there and other times, right, yes,
(27:05):
and sometimes grieving is just very specific. I'm sorry it
couldn't be different, right, I'm sorry I don't have what
I thought I had. But clearly there was some deception
or misunderstanding or illusion about what I thought we had
because it wanted it want to roll this way if
that were true, and I totally agree, and I you know,
(27:28):
and I'm I also in that exile spent time owning
my parts of things because I do believe in the
math equation it takes two. There is not one relationship
that has been blown up that was because solely of
one person. It doesn't exist. That math does not exist.
(27:49):
The math that exists as it takes two. And that's
why we come to Earth School, and it's why we
come to Earth School, and it's why I but I'll
tell you what I owned in this because I think
it's important is that if anybody else is dealing with this,
or even if it's something that happened ten years ago,
you can still deal with it. Because the part that
(28:09):
I learned about myself that I didn't do is I
actually didn't take care of this relationship as I evolved.
I wasn't clear, I wasn't clear on who I had become.
My becoming I was not clear on. I was not
clear that I wouldn't tolerate certain things. I wasn't clear
(28:32):
even to myself. I even went backwards on some of
my own behaviors, Like I found myself on things I
that I thought I was clear on, but I reverted
for this, you know, this person, for the friendship, for
Clire's comfort. Yeah, and so I was very So that
(28:53):
was the work, right, the work, because any anything that
happens like that, again, it takes to everybody. It is
never one person's fall, even if it's a terrible relationship
and that person acted terrible. Well, sometimes maybe you allowed.
And there's things I allowed and things I shouldn't have allowed,
behaviors I shouldn't have allowed, things I shouldn't have done
that I so own and I know them now. And
(29:17):
this is I don't need the universe to give me
another one of these to learn. And and sometimes the
universe does bring it to you as a bit of
a like I you assure, right, So just be mindful
of that, right, which is fine. You know, I think
of one of our yoga teachers would always say, we
(29:40):
become the company we keep so keep good company, right.
And it's literally frequency, right, it's literally frequency. We we
bounce off. Like they say, look at the people, the
five people around you that you spend the most time with,
You're gonna be most like them than anyone else. Who
do you have late? Are they in that group? Right?
(30:02):
So that's what you're yoga teacher said. Let me tell
my golf coach told me, and tell me, never play
with people who are worse than you. Only play with
people better than you, because you will play like them.
Yes you will, yep. And I think I forgot that
for a while, and I think that um and and
(30:26):
I will also tell you I've been working on a
letter to write, and I'm about a page and a
half in and I think the most important thing, I
think for our listeners is to really understand how I'm
ending this letter right now because I mean it. And
in the letter, I just stated how incredibly grateful that
(30:46):
I am for the friendship that we had. In fact,
I hold so much gratitude it would fill all the oceans.
And that is true, that's so beautiful. I'm so glad
that you can feel that space and let that frequency
continue to heal the layers that will be revealed rights
(31:08):
as you move forward, because as we know, as we've
discussed many times, grief takes time. It does, so yeah,
it does. And I think, you know, for our listeners
who have tow our situations going on. You know, the
letter that you're writing, we don't know that you'll actually
ever send it to Claire, not because it's not it's
(31:29):
not about that, and you might, you might, it might
be like, no, I feel good about this, and you
know it's been long enough for whatever it is. We
don't know, because that will be revealed in the future
one way or another. But the process of writing, as
you know, is hugely healing. It's very reflective, self reflective
instead of for Claire, right, just that process is helpful
(31:53):
for you and energetically that tie that you had between
you is still there. May not be as activated, but
it's still there. And in a way, that ship you're
making through this process of writing this communication, it's changing
and it's getting transmitted to her in some way. So
(32:15):
sometimes it doesn't actually have to be shared, sometimes it
doesn't have to be spoken, but it can still be
a healing force. And I totally agree, and I it'll
be interesting to see if I do send it. But
one interesting thing that happened is the morning I woke,
I'm like, oh I feel free, you know, which was
not a thing I thought i'd ever say. But that
(32:36):
afternoon I started hearing from a whole bunch of old friends,
particularly from California. It's like they got the message because
I think I made this take up more space than
it should have, and I think they felt there was space,
and they is it that interesting? Is so interesting? They
energetically And it's like they all got a memo and
(32:59):
l a energetic. They got an energetic mama, and they're like, oh,
there she is. Because all of a sudden, it was
like a snowball effect. I'm like, and I in this
game being present right like that. We've said this over
and over and over and over again about be president, president,
be present. I'm watching this unfold. I know what it is.
As it's unfolding, I recognize it. I see it. I'm like,
(33:21):
look at that. It's so good, so good, right, And
and that's what I mean really taking that time to write, yes,
you know, I was taking the time to be present
to it. It transmits through the ethers. People if they're
paying attention, they can't not notice it. And even when
all this stuff happens everybody, you can still have a
sense of fucking humor. Yeah, you can still look at
(33:44):
some of this stuff and be like, oh, hello, Tower card.
You know I tipped my hat to you, well done.
You know you can still look at things like that
and you can still you know, it's highly very very effective,
highly recommended. It makes it a lot easier, right because
I know this is not the first time I've been
here in April, probably gonna be the last. I wouldn't
(34:08):
want to break um, but it is. But being present
is the greatest gift. It really is the greatest possible gift,
is to be present and see what's happening and I
understanding because you can process that in real time and
actually have joy. Like I see the things that happened,
like immediately the result, the energetic result, and I'm like, wow,
(34:35):
this ship is real. That is an awesome summary. That's
it's real. But no matter who you break up with,
what you break up with. Because I had to go
through this when I left Fox, I mean it's it's
(34:57):
because it was a part of my life that I loved.
I didn't want to be over. This is a relationship.
I wasn't ready for it to be over. I didn't
know it was ever going to be. There's just things
that you do have to deal with and as much
as you could be present and open yourself up in
that energy and the writing is magic. In fact, those
that have read my book, thank you for actually buying
a book and reading what my therapy session was for
(35:19):
three years. Um. But writing is that you become clear
and remember breaking up, breaking down, if you can do
all that leads to your breakthrough to what's next. Yeah,
and then deserve it. And as Brenda went and looked
at my chart and said, oh my elf, of course
(35:41):
this was going to happen. And also astrology can help
to Astrology doesn't hurt. It does not hurt at all.
It does not hurt. I think you talk about neptune
not once did you talk about uranus, and you talk
about neptune a lot. Thanks for listening, and thanks for
(36:04):
listening everybody, And remember our school is hard without the
other side. Thanks everybody, and thank you the other side.
Thank you, bye bye all bye by which poop. Thank
(36:24):
you for joining us everyone, and a special thanks to
our producer Joey pat and our executive producer Maya Cole Howard,
who guides us well. We guide you. Hit us up
on Instagram at other Side Guides, or shoot us a
note at high Hi at vibes dot store. We want
to know what you think, We want to know what
you know, and we want to hear your stories. And remember,
(36:48):
our school is hard without the other Side. Insider's Guide
to the other Side is a production of I Heart Radio.
For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the i
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