February 8, 2023 • 37 mins
How do you define surrender? For many, the concept of surrender equals giving up... but what if you viewed surrendering as a power move that says "I'm not fighting what is..."
Many fears are attached to the idea of surrender, such as fear of missing out and the fears that bind your productivity to your self-worth. Given the human tendency to 'push through,' it can be difficult to discern when to surrender. And sometimes, that's when the Universe hands you a situation that forces you to submit. Today Julie and Brenda explore moments in their life when they had no choice but to concede... and the magic and life-lessons that transpired thereafter.
Earth School is hard, and letting go can be scary—but after release, comes clarity. Join us today as we discuss when to shut-down in order to level-up, and how to choose surrender as an efficient and elegant energetic investment toward what you really want and need.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of My Heart Radio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie. Hi there,
I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the other Side. Now,
y'all need to know that we are obsessed with everything
on the other side. Yes we are, because once you
(00:22):
learn to navigate the energetic, or to some the invisible world,
life is going to be more fun and much more serene. Heck,
yes it can, because let's be honest, Brian, earth school
is hard. In fact, you taught me that let's crush
earth School together. Well, hello, my winchy poo. Oh my gosh,
(00:47):
do you hear that? How are you? I am so
happy to welcome you back. My Alpha's back. All is
right with the world, back to the land of the living.
Oh my god, thank you for coming back. Thank you
for healing and and and hopefully this is not too
(01:09):
much for you today because I know it's still in process.
I thank you. It is so good to be back.
I so missed recording. It is like a thing that
it just uh, it's my happy place. Like every time
we get to every time we talk about what we
want to record from a record, we you know, talked
to or or connect with our listeners. It's just my
(01:29):
happy spot. So I missed that. Um, I'm thrilled to
be back. I think my voice is still a little
bit off. Um, I was better than it sounded in
the last couple of weeks, I will say that. Oh
my gosh. So here's what happened, um, Susan and I
went back to Arkansas to close up the warehouse, and
(01:52):
when we were there, Suzanne Um came down with bronchitis.
So we actually went to a dock in the box
there to take care of her issue. And then as
we're driving back to Santa Fe, Um, I was on
a few calls and I could feel my voice kind
of horsey, you know, it's like just you know, um,
(02:14):
that guttler. And the next morning I could not speak.
And now, like, let's just take a moment laugh about that. Uh,
it's a little humbling, it's and it's irony. Through the war.
I know people that if they had laryon joas to
be like, yeah, whatever, Um, but I'm such a talker,
(02:35):
write you exactly. But I'm such a talker, and but
I'm noticed shush, but I have to tell you. It
was It was kind of great. It was kind of
great to actually not talk. It was kind of great
to just be still and be quiet. And sometimes the
(02:56):
universe has to force me by taking my voice away
to do that at um. But it was surrendering and
that's really what we wanted to talk about today. It
was you know, what does it look like to surrender?
How do you surrender? I know we've talked about in
the past, but I think we actually have some really
interesting and really recent type of experiences to share with
everyone and hopefully some good tips and tricks about when
(03:19):
you're in a situation how do you activate surrendering? Right?
You know, it's so interesting because I've I have in
the past done more regularly of retreats and like even
working with my Sufi teacher to design retreats to do
at home and silent, so you're silent unless you're chanting
(03:40):
or praying like that's it. Like otherwise you're silent because
you're alone for the weekend, which means no phone, no internet,
no you know, you're not you're disconnected, and the profound silence,
which it wasn't your case, right because you had Suzanne
around you, and you've probably Binge watched some fun things
and hoping, you know, but the how the silence in
(04:02):
the beginning is so profound and feels so like shocking
and like, okay, I can't I can't communicate this way,
or you're texting or whatever you're doing. But then very
quickly it becomes normal. It's it's like, oh, that's right,
I can't speak. It's okay, you know, and you just
you kind of get used to it. Um. And so
(04:23):
I think that's it's a funny switch that happens in
your brain when you surrender. Oh, totally is. And I
even noticed and it it wasn't just like being on
the phone or working or it was not talking to
Suzanne because I couldn't really speak, and we had to
find different ways to communicate. So I'm like hand signaling
(04:43):
thing which I know nothing about. Um And even you know,
I talked to Sukie all the time. We go out
on walks and I'm talking, hey baby, how you do well?
Look at that? Or hey bayh, what'd you get up here?
We talk all all the time, little chatter box. Right. Well,
(05:03):
we also know I am a verbal processor, so I
process life because I through talking, right, isn't that the
reason my moon is in my uranus or it's in
my wherever the hell it is. Yes, that's it. So
but it really makes you think. And the cool thing
about it was I really in a really good way.
(05:25):
And I don't want to say I got in my
head because it wasn't my head. I just like got
in my body and it was just like oh, and
I was so clear on how I felt. I was
so clear when it was time to go to the doctor,
because I did, and I don't like to do that.
I don't have to um. And it was so clear
that the medication I had to take was correct. It
(05:48):
was everything was really clear with not speaking, and I
feel like I need to buy a roll of masking
tape and do this like once a month. Well, and
I will say a regular meditation practice does help, but
it's not the same as when your voice is taken away. Right,
It literally was taken away, which is so interesting. And
(06:10):
now old Elf, here's what old Elf would have done. Now,
And I will say, I was on steroids, so just
everybody knows, like that's in there pretty gnarly. But it's
great to have them when you need them because they
work for me so um, but old old elf would
have um like, gulped down ad Ville day whatever it's
(06:33):
called to make the symptoms go away, and your heart
is pounding, and it's like, it's a horrible way to live,
just so I could go do something, whether it was
work or go work out, or go do something that
I shouldn't be doing when my body doesn't feel well. Right,
that's you would have overridden your own wisdom completely. So
(06:55):
the beauty and I wanted to talk about this today
is I didn't do that. I was like, oh, okay,
I lost my voice. I could feel other things starting
to happen, you know, fatigue, all those things, and it
was like, okay, you're shutting down. You're gonna let everybody
know that you're not available. Like I put the sign
(07:17):
out that's the closed, and I was I closed it down.
And it's like, right for me, it's massive, I think
for anybody really because we also have because except for you,
I think that because I think a lot of things
that that happened with us. Um uh is there there
(07:38):
are people either fear of missing out, which is a
real thing. Um And then I think there's also fear
of if you're not working on something, or you miss
a week or ten days, Um, they may not need
you in that's scary for you, right if I'm irrelevant? Right, yeah,
exactly right. And and I think I definitely did that
(08:00):
back in the old ELF days, like I used to
work like it was. It's stupid, by the way, I
did stupid, ship, flat out stupid. So did you exactly,
Not for fear of being irrelevant, but just pushing yourself, right,
And and so I think that once we can get
(08:22):
to a place where we are like you know, it's
okay to be sick, it's okay to surrender to it
and to take care of yourself and um, and in
allowing your body to heal and and also letting the
medication get out of your system is another big thing.
I will be honest with you. I spent all day
(08:43):
Sunday in bed. I didn't I hardly got out of bed.
I was fatigued. It was the end of the steroids
and my body was like, damn bitch. That was a
rough ride that I'm telling you. Obviously, the illness was
was severe and you needed steroids, but the steroids felt
as hard on your body as the worse I'm going
to because It wasn't really until like that that had
(09:04):
built up in your system that I was like, hey,
and now I'm worried, right, I was. I was literally
worried about you physically. It was super intense. It was
yeah you you got you reached out. I think day three,
day four of five days and it had it. This
is not okay. No, well I can't sleep either, Like
you know, I was going to sleep at three or
four in the morning. Um, everything was off. But I've
(09:27):
I've dealt with steroids before, so I knew how it rolled. Yes,
but the differences this time is that I even allowed
recovery from the steroids, which I never had done before.
This is right, This is really big to surrender what
is now. The other thing is like when it's physical,
there are times you can't negotiate like there, and this
(09:49):
was one of those cases. I felt like maybe you
could have pushed it, but it was it was pretty
knock you on your butt right. If I would have
pushed it, I'll tell you exactly what would have happened.
If I would have pushed it, I would still be
sick right now with a severe sinus infection, like severe,
and I know what that does. Because I know that
also goes into my head. And I've had this happened
(10:11):
before where I my ear infection was so bad that
the ear doctor said to me whatever they're called, said
to me, Um, if you'd have come in a day later,
you would have had to have surgery to remove the
bone that was almost infected by this. That's how close
it was to a bone in my head. So Um,
(10:32):
that's what happens, right, That's what happens when you don't surrender,
when you don't pay attention. And I was so clear,
and when I knew I needed to go to doctor,
I knew it. And by the way, he was so cute.
He's at the rail yard, like I don't know, doc
in the box. He's just adorable. And that was like
such a treat because he was just fun um. And
that's and and to me, like, I really, when we
(10:56):
think about surrendering, no one's comfortable and surrendering because we
think it's defeat. But I really want to reframe surrender
as a power move, as a wisdom move that says
I'm not fighting. What is I think you're exactly right.
I mean, you deal with this stuff too. You know
you're humor extremely human. My My most recent favorite way
(11:27):
to like sabotage and like say yeah I'm out is
you know I have had probably maybe four five concussions
in six years. Um so it's it's not not a
great thing. And literally it's I'm out of my body
and moving too fast. And it's usually after an intense
(11:48):
run where I know, like I just need to get
to the next day, like literally the next day and boom,
I you know, I hit my head and you know,
the most reason happened, you know, like last year, and
it's just it's not negotiable. And now at least I
know how to how to take care of it and
and facilitate the healing. I mean, there's nothing but time
(12:10):
that that that and will help a concussion. But you know,
I know to use the hyperbaric chamber, I know to
use the infra red light. Like these are things that
studies have shown improve But it's it's time, and it's
it's humbling. Like you can't tolerate screens. You know, when
I talk, when my my coaching and readings, I use
(12:31):
a headset that goes over my head. Can't do that
that's over. I don't know, like oh god, of course,
I don't even think about that. Yeah, super humbling, super humbling.
Yeah yeah. And and sleeping as much as possible, literally
as much as possible. Just yeah, yeah, that's that's the best.
So the funny thing is I did so much sleeping
(12:52):
where I wake up in the morning and then thirty
minutes later I take a nap like I had morning naps.
After It's like it's a weird thing too. It's like
half an hour maybe, but it's like this weird nap thing,
and I would do it throughout the day. And you know,
if you're doing that, you're doing that, you are doing
what you're supposed to be doing, right, because you know,
the white blood cells are more easily created when you're
(13:15):
when you're sleeping, right, so that that that's fighting and
infections or creating healing in the body have greater resources
when you are unconscious, So like you're serving your body
greatly by doing that, no matter how humbling it is, right, right,
And here's what's funny. As Brenda's talking about the white
but blood cells and they form when you're sleeping, I'm
nodding my head like I knew that, And I will
(13:36):
confess I did not. But I'm nodding, you know, like yeah, Brenda, Yeah,
So my nodding is more about cheering you on versus
the acknowledging that I am aware of it at all,
because I was not. But thank god I had my
naps um. And here's the thing, I'm emerging from this
way faster than I would. That's the other thing. It's
like people think you fight it, fight it, fight it.
(13:56):
It's like it's still going to be their baby and
take long back. It's going to get worse and it's
going to take longer because this in the past for
me would have been a month. It would have because
I would have let it turn into a stupid sinus infection,
which we all have our things, yours apparently our concussions, weird.
Um mine have been sinus infections since I was a child,
(14:21):
and it's just the thing that but I and now
that I've older, wiser, um, I know how. I know
when it's coming, I know when to go, I know
when to rest, and I don't have fear. And that
is the biggest thing, the surrender, Like I know this
path and I'm not going to fight it. So but
(14:42):
I think we should yep, oh, wait, I interrupted you
because you have to come back, and you're gonna say,
let's come back and talk about other situations, right, all right, Okay,
we'll be right back. Well, hello, everybody, We are back.
(15:05):
And I don't know what that was funny, but apparently
it was. I think Brenda just missed me. Um, you're like,
I did, Um, But you know, Brenda, I think that
you know, when we kind of pregamed this show. Um,
you know, we you talked a lot about um, those
times when we resist it. Well, and and this is
(15:26):
the thing, like the energy it takes to resist what is,
whether it's an illness, like I'm just gonna, you know,
loot up an Advila and go work out, because you
know a lot of people like I just sweat out
my you know, illness. I'm like, or you create your
own fever. All up to you, you know, because people
do that, right, multiple choice, Yes, exactly all of the above.
(15:47):
So when it takes a lot of energy to resist
what is, and it puts us in a state combating, right,
so we're defending it's it's canna be an aggressive state.
It can take a lot of energy to resist what is,
and it doesn't matter if it's you're fighting yourself, or
like if if someone got the assignment you wanted at work,
(16:11):
or they got a promotion, or someone in your circle
you know, was advanced or uplifted in some way, and
you're like, that should have been me. I'm not saying that.
You know, sometimes that happens and maybe it should have
been you, But to fight it actively or resisted energetically,
like no, I'm still gonna I'm still gonna make sure
(16:31):
they know that my work was behind it. Well, is
it gonna matter? Like is it gonna matter? How will
that advance you? And what are you actually trying to
do with that extra energy that you're resisting with? Like
when you think about like I'm always looking for the
most efficient and elegant way of energetic investment. And it's
(16:52):
not to say like sometimes I'm like, oh, I should
have done it this way, you know, because sometimes like
I'm learning from what I did. That's not that wasn't helpful.
That's different than I'm gonna redo it and I'm going
to pretend that never happened or I never made the
wrong choice. It's like, no, I'm going to learn from it.
That's working with what happened as opposed to resisting. Does
that make sense? Oh my god, it makes total sense.
(17:12):
I just had my whole life flash before my eyes
and you were speaking. So that's what makes it really fun.
I'm like, oh, yeah, I got your sister. Yeah, I mean,
we've all done it. We've all done it, and so
and to catch yourself and go, oh, I had a
vision that I didn't get what I wanted and and
that's okay, um, but I have shared the story that
(17:34):
because the example that for me where it happened, where
I was like my head exploded, like wait, this isn't
how it's supposed to be. Wait a minute. I set
this up energetically, and it was it was more like
shock than entitlement, Like wait, wait are you kidding? That's
not That was not the call I was expecting. I
thought you were going to say, yes, you got the
(17:55):
house that you've been on, you know, And instead we
got the call that said, oh you know you have
been wasn't accepted. Someone else got into you know, this
crazy thing. And granted this was literally decades ago, but
it's still that one time. I was so shocked, but
I was like I and I have went in the
morning I literally went into deep Grieving's like, what's wrong
(18:15):
with you? I'm like, I don't know what I did wrong.
I don't I don't like I'm trying to figure it out.
It wasn't even that I was resisting it, but I
couldn't wrap really my brain around it because I had
cooked it up. I created the alignement. This is, you know,
I did all the things I need to do, and
I couldn't wrap my brain around it. Couldn't look at
another house for a couple of weeks, and then finally,
of course, on a realtor called and said, there's one
(18:37):
house I really think you should see, and I was like, okay,
but I'm not gonna like it. You know, we're also
probably pretty piste off at all your helpers on the
other side. It's like, hey, bitches, we had a deal
here and I don't know what you think you're doing,
but you just abandoned my ass. I may have had
those words, but I may have felt that enough close enough,
(18:59):
and so I'm like, Okay, we'll go and we'll see
if I can start building interests to look again, to
get my hopes up again. Because my heart was broken
and I was literally grieving, and that's when you know
they took us to the house. Of course we're in now,
we've been in for twenty some years. We love, I
love probably a little bit more than that beat, but
I'm just so happy here. And so that that was
(19:21):
a situation where there was purposefulness and I could understand
it in retrospect and pretty quickly, you know, just a
couple of weeks. But I would also just often when
we resist what is, we can miss the lesson, right,
we can miss the lesson. You can also miss what
was supposed to come in. Like how many opportunities like
little wheel of fortune action, how many opportunities have people
(19:44):
missed because they got dead set on something and they
wanted to force it, like round peg, square holes kind
of thing when there was or if I had said,
you know, when she said I think there's one house
I really think you should take a look at, I
would have said, no, you're not a real story anymore.
I'm going to fire exactly because what happened, what really
happened is a realtor was literally on a plane. She
(20:04):
was going on vacation. When after we had she we've
submitted this this bit, so she was out of touch, right,
and so you know, but if I had fired her,
and you know this, it never would have happened. And
so again if I had actively resistance, said, you know,
been aggressive towards her, or wanted to punish her for
not getting us to this house that we you know,
(20:26):
in our minds we thought was perfect for us, but
in retrospect they would have been like, what we missed
that other hours? Oh my god. You know the old
adage cut your nose off despite your face, right, right,
And and that's all ego, right, that's all ego and
pride and all kinds of things. And this is literally
where the surrender card in TROW is the hangedman, right
(20:50):
where it is a picture of a human being who's inverted,
usually hanging by an ankle or a foot or you
know some limb with their that with some limbs. Yeah,
so yeah, so their head is towards the earth. And
you know, people think like it's a punishment, but it
literally says, lead with your highest frequency, right, Lead with
(21:12):
your crown, chuck ra that which is closest to the divine,
Lead with the highest vibration of you, so that you can,
you know, not miss the next opportunity that comes and
that you and and across the mantra is this or better?
I'm like, so, you know, then I started working with
my GUIDs like, hey, okay, so this house that we
didn't get, whatever comes next better be better. Like that's
(21:33):
how it's gonna That's how we're gonna roll here. And
that's how like that is, that's how it rolled. Yeah.
So you know, we have all these situations, these circumstances
and life and you know, we've talked about health um,
and then we just talked about home um, but they're
(21:53):
endless and I think if we want to take another
little quickie break, I think we have another story to
talk about about things that are really easy to get
angry about and um kind of saving it. Yeah, we'll
be right back y'all, and welcome back. Thanks. I miss
(22:19):
saying that. This is so nice to be welcomed anywhere.
Welcome back to life. So I think you have a
story of a you know, power move of surrender. Yeah,
it's it's it's so interesting too. So anybody who follows
me on Instagram has probably seen pictures of the gemstone
(22:42):
slabs that I had ordered that we were going to
integrate into our home. UM. I got a message was
after right after the first year about with photographs showing
me UM a number of those slabs broken into pieces.
And we all know how I feel about box, so
you can imagine, like you know, I think my initial
(23:06):
was oh shit, you know, and I kind of had
this panic UM that first went over me. UM, And
it was really interesting because I've learned and I'm going
to have to give you credit for this, burning give
you credit for a lot of stuff, and rightfully so.
But you've actually helped me work through some of these
(23:27):
and I remember years ago, UM, and I will get
back to the store, but I think this is important
that UM. You know you said you're an EmPATH. You
know you feel a lot of stuff. In one way
to work through that is to do inventory about what
is mine what is not mine? And so I use
this what is mine what is not mine so regularly
(23:49):
in my life. I'm going to repeat it for those
that weren't paying attention. And we have so many listeners
who are empaths, right, so this is such a good,
such a great standard to hold it. It is and
I cannot tell you how often I say what is mine,
what is not mine. I can't even tell you the
number of conversations that I have with people about what
is mine, what is not mine? This, this is a
(24:11):
very useful tool in a lot of areas. And so
certainly one is the empathic plane, um, and the other
one is you know, deciding what action that I want
to take based on the situation. And so when I
looked at this situation about the slabs, first of all,
I had that thought as well, I guess those ones
that are broken and we're never supposed to be mine
(24:33):
first place I went. And it's not a cop out
at all, is not a cop out whatsoever. It's not
me trying to make myself feel better. It's like just
is It's like, oh, well, since they broke, I guess
I wasn't supposed to have them. Um. And then I
start looking at the situation and say, well, what part
of this is mine and what part of this is
not mine? And can I do? What can I do?
And what can I not do? And so I start
(24:55):
to break it down and I'm like, well, probably is
not going to help for me to get mad, as
that's just gonna upset or whatever emotional response that anybody
in a reasonable person would want to have in this
situation who loves rocks as much as I do. I
just wanted to be batting that do it. Um and
and I got to this place of like, Okay, as
(25:18):
I'm processing this, UM, I'm not physically responsible for them.
I didn't do it. Um I need to hold those
accountable that should be held accountable. Uh And and I
also remember my mother's advice, which is weird because she
really never employed it herself, but it was you can
(25:38):
get more bees with honey than you can with vinegar.
And I believe vinegar ran through Margaret's blood stream, so
I'm not quite sure what the hell where she got
it from. Um So, because I could get mad at everybody, ps,
everybody that never works. Nobody wants to deal with an
angry fucker. They just don't. And so I went down
(25:59):
a path of being very kind of being you know,
surprised and distraught as well. Um and and all I
needed out of the whole situation is to know that
the manufacturer will replace them. That's all I needed and
what I got that in writing, and then everything else
(26:19):
will be fine. So what ended up happening. And it's
really funny because Susanna and I spent a lot of
time talking about it too, And she goes, listen, worst
case scenario, even whatever comes in later, even for me
moved in. She goes, we'll just have a temporary counter.
It'll be fine. So like she's surrendering to it. She's
helping me surrender to it and being like, none of
(26:40):
this is the end of the world, especially knowing that
will eventually get them like no, like being able to
work that. I needed that peace of mind. Um. And
here's what's interesting is that what the manufacturer decided to
do is to have everything shipped to me the way
it is, even all the broken pieces and boxes, because
for the hurt, I can make some fabulous tables out
(27:02):
of those broken pieces, um and so right, and so
they're letting me determine what needs to be replaced, because
I did see a photo where one is still whole,
but it looks like it got scratched. You can't do
anything with it. It's scratched, so that one's out the
window too. But they're gonna let me assess and me
trust that well in terms of how we're going to
use them for like, because they were going to backlight
(27:24):
them for a bathroom and you can't backlight it if
the front is scratched and um so, but there they
because I was kind throughout the whole process, not a pushover.
There's a difference, everybody. There's a big difference. No, no
one thinks you're gonna push over. Yeah, that's fair too,
that's totally fair. Noted again, you know, also knowing your creativity,
(27:49):
knowing how you can move and flow with things like
oh it is not this with this, so we can
do it this way, like you know, knowing that's one
of your pieces of magic. Um, that's great that you
could lean into that. Thank you. And the other thing
is I don't want to vomit when I talk about it,
like I'm not. It's like it just is. You know.
When I called um our architect and our contracty like
(28:10):
hey listen, they broke like oh my god, like they like,
it's all right, it'll sort it's it'll it'll sort itself out.
Because here's the thing. Most things do. Yeah, especially when
you're not a butthole. Like if you're a bad person
and ship doesn't work out, well you earn that. Um.
And but this whole thing, it's like I wanted to
(28:31):
be kind, respectful. It's also not the manufacturer's fault. They
didn't do it. That is not that they're a devastated
as I was. You know, they don't want that reputation.
They don't want that experience for you. Oh gosh, they
don't they. I will say, like, I hadn't heard about this,
and then you brought it up and I was like, whoa,
you are so clear about this. It was impressive. It
(28:54):
was really impressive. Yeah, thank you. I surrendered to the situation.
And again, so rendering doesn't mean you're waving a white flag.
I didn't have resistance. I don't want people to get
confused because I think sometimes the word surrender gets confused
with like war games and there's the white flag, I
surrender and it's like, yeah, I surrender, Yeah I lost.
(29:14):
I didn't lose. I think it is a spiritual power move.
Yes it is. It's an energetic like self respect right
that says, I'm not gonna like twirl on this like
so many people, even things like we wake up in
the middle of the night spinning on you, like waiting,
Oh my god, would you get out of my head?
Exactly what I was gonna say. You told me get
People said it was rude by the way you lectured
(29:36):
me one day about that, and you just got in
my head. I was just gonna return. But I listen,
here's a funny thing. I didn't sit around. I didn't
lay around, because that's what And I didn't lay around
in stew There was no stewing, there was no stomping.
There were none of the s. Yeah, and the only
(29:58):
S was surrender. So I didn't do I didn't stop.
I wasn't shitty. I'm just gonna track it all theses
I can um and and and it kept me more sane.
So I didn't use energy that I shouldn't use. It
didn't expend unnecessary energy. And you didn't have it to expend, right, Well,
definitely didn't have it to expend. Um And I don't
(30:21):
think no matter what my physical condition is, I don't
need to be expending unnecessary energy. You know. I want
to save it for the good stuff, you know. I
want to save it for if there's a real emergency.
It's there for me to tap into, like when you
save that guy's life in New York that I still
think about regularly. Um Or do I want to save
it for some like a massive creative project that I
(30:41):
want to do. Do I want to save it? You know,
there's all these things that I'd rather put it to
than stewing. Right, So, and I think, like exigency, right,
how much energy do I invest in this as much
as I'm going to get back? Like me going off
for weeks on end or doing them or like you know,
like over over extending, like is that going to change anything?
(31:06):
Or screaming or whatever it is. You know, it's really
such a such a graceful move to make, like how
is this going to come back to me? How is
this going to change things? And that that just question
what is mine in this and what isn't? If you
can get super clear on that line and everything else, surrender,
(31:27):
just surrender it because if I tried to take it over,
I couldn't because it wasn't mine to take over. And
that's it. That is the the ultimate I'm losing energy here,
right is when when you cross that line and you
start investing in over controlling, you're exhausting yourself. I had
nothing to do with the drunk and cut the trucking company.
They're the ones who dropped it on their crane UM.
(31:50):
And but that's not me. I A, I didn't pick them.
Let's start with that. And what And I can't make
it go backwards, you know, can't two point that. UM.
It'd be cool if I could. UM. And there's no
time traveling involved, none of those things. So there's just
there's were not options at the moment. And and so
(32:13):
when I was just able to look at it and
be like, all right, even, I was even okay if
we needed to change material, I was even okay. I
was so like, all right, well, let's just refigure this out.
And I think that's the magic of all of this
is nothing ever goes as planned, folks, we know you know,
(32:38):
it just doesn't. UM. And if you do it right,
it actually turns out to surprise you. I was just
I met with this really lovely woman this morning, UM,
who is going to help us with the website for UM,
the nonprofit Life Circle UM that that I'm on the
board for. And she and I were really great lady.
(32:58):
Her name is June, and I just adore her already,
and UM, I looked at her and I just said,
I go, you know what, most of my life has
been in the bonus round. So we'll figure this out.
It's all good. We might not do it today, but
we'll get it done well, get it done for everybody.
And I just and I talked about the bonus round,
and I've talked about it a lot lately, and I
think everybody's life is in the bonus round. No matter
(33:19):
what you think about your life, you're in the bonus well.
And that's because no day is guaranteed right, exactly right.
Everything is a bonus for me. And so when I
look at this, it's like, Okay, well, maybe my bonus
is a little different than I thought it was gonna be.
And but it's just a and it's again not a
cop out. It's like, extraordinary things happen in my life,
(33:41):
extraordinary things and little things that are extraordinary. Especially when
I can finally get my dog to learn how to
speak English and talk back to me, that would be amazing.
But but extraordinary things happen, and they do because I'm
not forcing I'm surrendering um and and I'm trying not
(34:01):
to be an asshole. That's Julie's words of wisdom for
the day. You can go far on that you actually
can you know, and again, just consider make it you know,
invite people to to make it like a challenge or
a practice, like even if it's I know for today,
(34:22):
practices are long, but even if it's a twenty one
day practice of what can I surrender today and write
shut down people? That's I do. I I started out
my first what's mine? What is not mine? In fact,
I'm pretty sure you made me write it down. UM,
So I don't think I suggested it, but yes, Slash
made me. Um, but writing it down what is mine?
(34:44):
And especially if you're dealing because part of things, my gosh,
we're gonna have to like wrap this episode up because
I'm afraid we could go on forever. But um, part
of the surrendering to the empathetic side of myself. Um,
when I would feel like I to write down how
I felt, and then I would write down and wait,
I would actually discover that's not mine, and I would
(35:06):
let it go, and so often from the impaths like wait,
ultimately that I don't own that, like I can't change that,
then it's not yours and you can just send it
right back to send it right out of your fields,
back to who you don't have to like, you know,
bomb them with it just you know, send that energy
right back to them. Visualize what that's like to lighten
(35:26):
up your load, because you can get really bogged down.
So writing those things down was really helpful. And with
that we are going to wrap this up so we
can send it out to them the perfect to our audience.
So welcome back, my own thank you, thank you back,
and remember her school is hard without the other side.
(35:49):
Thanks everybody, Thank you for joining us. Everyone and especial
well thanks to our producer Joey pat and our executive
producer Maya Cole Howard, who guides us while we guide.
You hit us up on Instagram at other Side Guides,
(36:10):
or shoot us a note at high Hi at vibes
dot store. We want to know what you think, We
want to know what you know, and we want to
hear your stories. And remember our school is hard without
the other Side. Insider's Guide to the Other Side is
a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcast from
my Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Spotify,
(36:34):
Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of My Heart Radio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie. Hi there,
I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the other Side. Now,
y'all need to know that we are obsessed with everything
on the other side. Yes we are, because once you
(00:22):
learn to navigate the energetic, or to some the invisible world,
life is going to be more fun and much more serene. Heck,
yes it can, because let's be honest, Brian, earth school
is hard. In fact, you taught me that let's crush
earth School together. Well, hello, my winchy poo. Oh my gosh,
(00:47):
do you hear that? How are you? I am so
happy to welcome you back. My Alpha's back. All is
right with the world, back to the land of the living.
Oh my god, thank you for coming back. Thank you
for healing and and and hopefully this is not too
(01:09):
much for you today because I know it's still in process.
I thank you. It is so good to be back.
I so missed recording. It is like a thing that
it just uh, it's my happy place. Like every time
we get to every time we talk about what we
want to record from a record, we you know, talked
to or or connect with our listeners. It's just my
(01:29):
happy spot. So I missed that. Um, I'm thrilled to
be back. I think my voice is still a little
bit off. Um, I was better than it sounded in
the last couple of weeks, I will say that. Oh
my gosh. So here's what happened, um, Susan and I
went back to Arkansas to close up the warehouse, and
(01:52):
when we were there, Suzanne Um came down with bronchitis.
So we actually went to a dock in the box
there to take care of her issue. And then as
we're driving back to Santa Fe, Um, I was on
a few calls and I could feel my voice kind
of horsey, you know, it's like just you know, um,
(02:14):
that guttler. And the next morning I could not speak.
And now, like, let's just take a moment laugh about that. Uh,
it's a little humbling, it's and it's irony. Through the war.
I know people that if they had laryon joas to
be like, yeah, whatever, Um, but I'm such a talker,
(02:35):
write you exactly. But I'm such a talker, and but
I'm noticed shush, but I have to tell you. It
was It was kind of great. It was kind of
great to actually not talk. It was kind of great
to just be still and be quiet. And sometimes the
(02:56):
universe has to force me by taking my voice away
to do that at um. But it was surrendering and
that's really what we wanted to talk about today. It
was you know, what does it look like to surrender?
How do you surrender? I know we've talked about in
the past, but I think we actually have some really
interesting and really recent type of experiences to share with
everyone and hopefully some good tips and tricks about when
(03:19):
you're in a situation how do you activate surrendering? Right?
You know, it's so interesting because I've I have in
the past done more regularly of retreats and like even
working with my Sufi teacher to design retreats to do
at home and silent, so you're silent unless you're chanting
(03:40):
or praying like that's it. Like otherwise you're silent because
you're alone for the weekend, which means no phone, no internet,
no you know, you're not you're disconnected, and the profound silence,
which it wasn't your case, right because you had Suzanne
around you, and you've probably Binge watched some fun things
and hoping, you know, but the how the silence in
(04:02):
the beginning is so profound and feels so like shocking
and like, okay, I can't I can't communicate this way,
or you're texting or whatever you're doing. But then very
quickly it becomes normal. It's it's like, oh, that's right,
I can't speak. It's okay, you know, and you just
you kind of get used to it. Um. And so
(04:23):
I think that's it's a funny switch that happens in
your brain when you surrender. Oh, totally is. And I
even noticed and it it wasn't just like being on
the phone or working or it was not talking to
Suzanne because I couldn't really speak, and we had to
find different ways to communicate. So I'm like hand signaling
(04:43):
thing which I know nothing about. Um And even you know,
I talked to Sukie all the time. We go out
on walks and I'm talking, hey baby, how you do well?
Look at that? Or hey bayh, what'd you get up here?
We talk all all the time, little chatter box. Right. Well,
(05:03):
we also know I am a verbal processor, so I
process life because I through talking, right, isn't that the
reason my moon is in my uranus or it's in
my wherever the hell it is. Yes, that's it. So
but it really makes you think. And the cool thing
about it was I really in a really good way.
(05:25):
And I don't want to say I got in my
head because it wasn't my head. I just like got
in my body and it was just like oh, and
I was so clear on how I felt. I was
so clear when it was time to go to the doctor,
because I did, and I don't like to do that.
I don't have to um. And it was so clear
that the medication I had to take was correct. It
(05:48):
was everything was really clear with not speaking, and I
feel like I need to buy a roll of masking
tape and do this like once a month. Well, and
I will say a regular meditation practice does help, but
it's not the same as when your voice is taken away. Right,
It literally was taken away, which is so interesting. And
(06:10):
now old Elf, here's what old Elf would have done. Now,
And I will say, I was on steroids, so just
everybody knows, like that's in there pretty gnarly. But it's
great to have them when you need them because they
work for me so um, but old old elf would
have um like, gulped down ad Ville day whatever it's
(06:33):
called to make the symptoms go away, and your heart
is pounding, and it's like, it's a horrible way to live,
just so I could go do something, whether it was
work or go work out, or go do something that
I shouldn't be doing when my body doesn't feel well. Right,
that's you would have overridden your own wisdom completely. So
(06:55):
the beauty and I wanted to talk about this today
is I didn't do that. I was like, oh, okay,
I lost my voice. I could feel other things starting
to happen, you know, fatigue, all those things, and it
was like, okay, you're shutting down. You're gonna let everybody
know that you're not available. Like I put the sign
(07:17):
out that's the closed, and I was I closed it down.
And it's like, right for me, it's massive, I think
for anybody really because we also have because except for you,
I think that because I think a lot of things
that that happened with us. Um uh is there there
(07:38):
are people either fear of missing out, which is a
real thing. Um And then I think there's also fear
of if you're not working on something, or you miss
a week or ten days, Um, they may not need
you in that's scary for you, right if I'm irrelevant? Right, yeah,
exactly right. And and I think I definitely did that
(08:00):
back in the old ELF days, like I used to
work like it was. It's stupid, by the way, I
did stupid, ship, flat out stupid. So did you exactly,
Not for fear of being irrelevant, but just pushing yourself, right,
And and so I think that once we can get
(08:22):
to a place where we are like you know, it's
okay to be sick, it's okay to surrender to it
and to take care of yourself and um, and in
allowing your body to heal and and also letting the
medication get out of your system is another big thing.
I will be honest with you. I spent all day
(08:43):
Sunday in bed. I didn't I hardly got out of bed.
I was fatigued. It was the end of the steroids
and my body was like, damn bitch. That was a
rough ride that I'm telling you. Obviously, the illness was
was severe and you needed steroids, but the steroids felt
as hard on your body as the worse I'm going
to because It wasn't really until like that that had
(09:04):
built up in your system that I was like, hey,
and now I'm worried, right, I was. I was literally
worried about you physically. It was super intense. It was
yeah you you got you reached out. I think day three,
day four of five days and it had it. This
is not okay. No, well I can't sleep either, Like
you know, I was going to sleep at three or
four in the morning. Um, everything was off. But I've
(09:27):
I've dealt with steroids before, so I knew how it rolled. Yes,
but the differences this time is that I even allowed
recovery from the steroids, which I never had done before.
This is right, This is really big to surrender what
is now. The other thing is like when it's physical,
there are times you can't negotiate like there, and this
(09:49):
was one of those cases. I felt like maybe you
could have pushed it, but it was it was pretty
knock you on your butt right. If I would have
pushed it, I'll tell you exactly what would have happened.
If I would have pushed it, I would still be
sick right now with a severe sinus infection, like severe,
and I know what that does. Because I know that
also goes into my head. And I've had this happened
(10:11):
before where I my ear infection was so bad that
the ear doctor said to me whatever they're called, said
to me, Um, if you'd have come in a day later,
you would have had to have surgery to remove the
bone that was almost infected by this. That's how close
it was to a bone in my head. So Um,
(10:32):
that's what happens, right, That's what happens when you don't surrender,
when you don't pay attention. And I was so clear,
and when I knew I needed to go to doctor,
I knew it. And by the way, he was so cute.
He's at the rail yard, like I don't know, doc
in the box. He's just adorable. And that was like
such a treat because he was just fun um. And
that's and and to me, like, I really, when we
(10:56):
think about surrendering, no one's comfortable and surrendering because we
think it's defeat. But I really want to reframe surrender
as a power move, as a wisdom move that says
I'm not fighting. What is I think you're exactly right.
I mean, you deal with this stuff too. You know
you're humor extremely human. My My most recent favorite way
(11:27):
to like sabotage and like say yeah I'm out is
you know I have had probably maybe four five concussions
in six years. Um so it's it's not not a
great thing. And literally it's I'm out of my body
and moving too fast. And it's usually after an intense
(11:48):
run where I know, like I just need to get
to the next day, like literally the next day and boom,
I you know, I hit my head and you know,
the most reason happened, you know, like last year, and
it's just it's not negotiable. And now at least I
know how to how to take care of it and
and facilitate the healing. I mean, there's nothing but time
(12:10):
that that that and will help a concussion. But you know,
I know to use the hyperbaric chamber, I know to
use the infra red light. Like these are things that
studies have shown improve But it's it's time, and it's
it's humbling. Like you can't tolerate screens. You know, when
I talk, when my my coaching and readings, I use
(12:31):
a headset that goes over my head. Can't do that
that's over. I don't know, like oh god, of course,
I don't even think about that. Yeah, super humbling, super humbling.
Yeah yeah. And and sleeping as much as possible, literally
as much as possible. Just yeah, yeah, that's that's the best.
So the funny thing is I did so much sleeping
(12:52):
where I wake up in the morning and then thirty
minutes later I take a nap like I had morning naps.
After It's like it's a weird thing too. It's like
half an hour maybe, but it's like this weird nap thing,
and I would do it throughout the day. And you know,
if you're doing that, you're doing that, you are doing
what you're supposed to be doing, right, because you know,
the white blood cells are more easily created when you're
(13:15):
when you're sleeping, right, so that that that's fighting and
infections or creating healing in the body have greater resources
when you are unconscious, So like you're serving your body
greatly by doing that, no matter how humbling it is, right, right,
And here's what's funny. As Brenda's talking about the white
but blood cells and they form when you're sleeping, I'm
nodding my head like I knew that, And I will
(13:36):
confess I did not. But I'm nodding, you know, like yeah, Brenda, Yeah,
So my nodding is more about cheering you on versus
the acknowledging that I am aware of it at all,
because I was not. But thank god I had my
naps um. And here's the thing, I'm emerging from this
way faster than I would. That's the other thing. It's
like people think you fight it, fight it, fight it.
(13:56):
It's like it's still going to be their baby and
take long back. It's going to get worse and it's
going to take longer because this in the past for
me would have been a month. It would have because
I would have let it turn into a stupid sinus infection,
which we all have our things, yours apparently our concussions, weird.
Um mine have been sinus infections since I was a child,
(14:21):
and it's just the thing that but I and now
that I've older, wiser, um, I know how. I know
when it's coming, I know when to go, I know
when to rest, and I don't have fear. And that
is the biggest thing, the surrender, Like I know this
path and I'm not going to fight it. So but
(14:42):
I think we should yep, oh, wait, I interrupted you
because you have to come back, and you're gonna say,
let's come back and talk about other situations, right, all right, Okay,
we'll be right back. Well, hello, everybody, We are back.
(15:05):
And I don't know what that was funny, but apparently
it was. I think Brenda just missed me. Um, you're like,
I did, Um, But you know, Brenda, I think that
you know, when we kind of pregamed this show. Um,
you know, we you talked a lot about um, those
times when we resist it. Well, and and this is
(15:26):
the thing, like the energy it takes to resist what is,
whether it's an illness, like I'm just gonna, you know,
loot up an Advila and go work out, because you
know a lot of people like I just sweat out
my you know, illness. I'm like, or you create your
own fever. All up to you, you know, because people
do that, right, multiple choice, Yes, exactly all of the above.
(15:47):
So when it takes a lot of energy to resist
what is, and it puts us in a state combating, right,
so we're defending it's it's canna be an aggressive state.
It can take a lot of energy to resist what is,
and it doesn't matter if it's you're fighting yourself, or
like if if someone got the assignment you wanted at work,
(16:11):
or they got a promotion, or someone in your circle
you know, was advanced or uplifted in some way, and
you're like, that should have been me. I'm not saying that.
You know, sometimes that happens and maybe it should have
been you, But to fight it actively or resisted energetically,
like no, I'm still gonna I'm still gonna make sure
(16:31):
they know that my work was behind it. Well, is
it gonna matter? Like is it gonna matter? How will
that advance you? And what are you actually trying to
do with that extra energy that you're resisting with? Like
when you think about like I'm always looking for the
most efficient and elegant way of energetic investment. And it's
(16:52):
not to say like sometimes I'm like, oh, I should
have done it this way, you know, because sometimes like
I'm learning from what I did. That's not that wasn't helpful.
That's different than I'm gonna redo it and I'm going
to pretend that never happened or I never made the
wrong choice. It's like, no, I'm going to learn from it.
That's working with what happened as opposed to resisting. Does
that make sense? Oh my god, it makes total sense.
(17:12):
I just had my whole life flash before my eyes
and you were speaking. So that's what makes it really fun.
I'm like, oh, yeah, I got your sister. Yeah, I mean,
we've all done it. We've all done it, and so
and to catch yourself and go, oh, I had a
vision that I didn't get what I wanted and and
that's okay, um, but I have shared the story that
(17:34):
because the example that for me where it happened, where
I was like my head exploded, like wait, this isn't
how it's supposed to be. Wait a minute. I set
this up energetically, and it was it was more like
shock than entitlement, Like wait, wait are you kidding? That's
not That was not the call I was expecting. I
thought you were going to say, yes, you got the
(17:55):
house that you've been on, you know, And instead we
got the call that said, oh you know you have
been wasn't accepted. Someone else got into you know, this
crazy thing. And granted this was literally decades ago, but
it's still that one time. I was so shocked, but
I was like I and I have went in the
morning I literally went into deep Grieving's like, what's wrong
(18:15):
with you? I'm like, I don't know what I did wrong.
I don't I don't like I'm trying to figure it out.
It wasn't even that I was resisting it, but I
couldn't wrap really my brain around it because I had
cooked it up. I created the alignement. This is, you know,
I did all the things I need to do, and
I couldn't wrap my brain around it. Couldn't look at
another house for a couple of weeks, and then finally,
of course, on a realtor called and said, there's one
(18:37):
house I really think you should see, and I was like, okay,
but I'm not gonna like it. You know, we're also
probably pretty piste off at all your helpers on the
other side. It's like, hey, bitches, we had a deal
here and I don't know what you think you're doing,
but you just abandoned my ass. I may have had
those words, but I may have felt that enough close enough,
(18:59):
and so I'm like, Okay, we'll go and we'll see
if I can start building interests to look again, to
get my hopes up again. Because my heart was broken
and I was literally grieving, and that's when you know
they took us to the house. Of course we're in now,
we've been in for twenty some years. We love, I
love probably a little bit more than that beat, but
I'm just so happy here. And so that that was
(19:21):
a situation where there was purposefulness and I could understand
it in retrospect and pretty quickly, you know, just a
couple of weeks. But I would also just often when
we resist what is, we can miss the lesson, right,
we can miss the lesson. You can also miss what
was supposed to come in. Like how many opportunities like
little wheel of fortune action, how many opportunities have people
(19:44):
missed because they got dead set on something and they
wanted to force it, like round peg, square holes kind
of thing when there was or if I had said,
you know, when she said I think there's one house
I really think you should take a look at, I
would have said, no, you're not a real story anymore.
I'm going to fire exactly because what happened, what really
happened is a realtor was literally on a plane. She
(20:04):
was going on vacation. When after we had she we've
submitted this this bit, so she was out of touch, right,
and so you know, but if I had fired her,
and you know this, it never would have happened. And
so again if I had actively resistance, said, you know,
been aggressive towards her, or wanted to punish her for
not getting us to this house that we you know,
(20:26):
in our minds we thought was perfect for us, but
in retrospect they would have been like, what we missed
that other hours? Oh my god. You know the old
adage cut your nose off despite your face, right, right,
And and that's all ego, right, that's all ego and
pride and all kinds of things. And this is literally
where the surrender card in TROW is the hangedman, right
(20:50):
where it is a picture of a human being who's inverted,
usually hanging by an ankle or a foot or you
know some limb with their that with some limbs. Yeah,
so yeah, so their head is towards the earth. And
you know, people think like it's a punishment, but it
literally says, lead with your highest frequency, right, Lead with
(21:12):
your crown, chuck ra that which is closest to the divine,
Lead with the highest vibration of you, so that you can,
you know, not miss the next opportunity that comes and
that you and and across the mantra is this or better?
I'm like, so, you know, then I started working with
my GUIDs like, hey, okay, so this house that we
didn't get, whatever comes next better be better. Like that's
(21:33):
how it's gonna That's how we're gonna roll here. And
that's how like that is, that's how it rolled. Yeah.
So you know, we have all these situations, these circumstances
and life and you know, we've talked about health um,
and then we just talked about home um, but they're
(21:53):
endless and I think if we want to take another
little quickie break, I think we have another story to
talk about about things that are really easy to get
angry about and um kind of saving it. Yeah, we'll
be right back y'all, and welcome back. Thanks. I miss
(22:19):
saying that. This is so nice to be welcomed anywhere.
Welcome back to life. So I think you have a
story of a you know, power move of surrender. Yeah,
it's it's it's so interesting too. So anybody who follows
me on Instagram has probably seen pictures of the gemstone
(22:42):
slabs that I had ordered that we were going to
integrate into our home. UM. I got a message was
after right after the first year about with photographs showing
me UM a number of those slabs broken into pieces.
And we all know how I feel about box, so
you can imagine, like you know, I think my initial
(23:06):
was oh shit, you know, and I kind of had
this panic UM that first went over me. UM, And
it was really interesting because I've learned and I'm going
to have to give you credit for this, burning give
you credit for a lot of stuff, and rightfully so.
But you've actually helped me work through some of these
(23:27):
and I remember years ago, UM, and I will get
back to the store, but I think this is important
that UM. You know you said you're an EmPATH. You
know you feel a lot of stuff. In one way
to work through that is to do inventory about what
is mine what is not mine? And so I use
this what is mine what is not mine so regularly
(23:49):
in my life. I'm going to repeat it for those
that weren't paying attention. And we have so many listeners
who are empaths, right, so this is such a good,
such a great standard to hold it. It is and
I cannot tell you how often I say what is mine,
what is not mine. I can't even tell you the
number of conversations that I have with people about what
is mine, what is not mine? This, this is a
(24:11):
very useful tool in a lot of areas. And so
certainly one is the empathic plane, um, and the other
one is you know, deciding what action that I want
to take based on the situation. And so when I
looked at this situation about the slabs, first of all,
I had that thought as well, I guess those ones
that are broken and we're never supposed to be mine
(24:33):
first place I went. And it's not a cop out
at all, is not a cop out whatsoever. It's not
me trying to make myself feel better. It's like just
is It's like, oh, well, since they broke, I guess
I wasn't supposed to have them. Um. And then I
start looking at the situation and say, well, what part
of this is mine and what part of this is
not mine? And can I do? What can I do?
And what can I not do? And so I start
(24:55):
to break it down and I'm like, well, probably is
not going to help for me to get mad, as
that's just gonna upset or whatever emotional response that anybody
in a reasonable person would want to have in this
situation who loves rocks as much as I do. I
just wanted to be batting that do it. Um and
and I got to this place of like, Okay, as
(25:18):
I'm processing this, UM, I'm not physically responsible for them.
I didn't do it. Um I need to hold those
accountable that should be held accountable. Uh And and I
also remember my mother's advice, which is weird because she
really never employed it herself, but it was you can
(25:38):
get more bees with honey than you can with vinegar.
And I believe vinegar ran through Margaret's blood stream, so
I'm not quite sure what the hell where she got
it from. Um So, because I could get mad at everybody, ps,
everybody that never works. Nobody wants to deal with an
angry fucker. They just don't. And so I went down
(25:59):
a path of being very kind of being you know,
surprised and distraught as well. Um and and all I
needed out of the whole situation is to know that
the manufacturer will replace them. That's all I needed and
what I got that in writing, and then everything else
(26:19):
will be fine. So what ended up happening. And it's
really funny because Susanna and I spent a lot of
time talking about it too, And she goes, listen, worst
case scenario, even whatever comes in later, even for me
moved in. She goes, we'll just have a temporary counter.
It'll be fine. So like she's surrendering to it. She's
helping me surrender to it and being like, none of
(26:40):
this is the end of the world, especially knowing that
will eventually get them like no, like being able to
work that. I needed that peace of mind. Um. And
here's what's interesting is that what the manufacturer decided to
do is to have everything shipped to me the way
it is, even all the broken pieces and boxes, because
for the hurt, I can make some fabulous tables out
(27:02):
of those broken pieces, um and so right, and so
they're letting me determine what needs to be replaced, because
I did see a photo where one is still whole,
but it looks like it got scratched. You can't do
anything with it. It's scratched, so that one's out the
window too. But they're gonna let me assess and me
trust that well in terms of how we're going to
use them for like, because they were going to backlight
(27:24):
them for a bathroom and you can't backlight it if
the front is scratched and um so, but there they
because I was kind throughout the whole process, not a pushover.
There's a difference, everybody. There's a big difference. No, no
one thinks you're gonna push over. Yeah, that's fair too,
that's totally fair. Noted again, you know, also knowing your creativity,
(27:49):
knowing how you can move and flow with things like
oh it is not this with this, so we can
do it this way, like you know, knowing that's one
of your pieces of magic. Um, that's great that you
could lean into that. Thank you. And the other thing
is I don't want to vomit when I talk about it,
like I'm not. It's like it just is. You know.
When I called um our architect and our contracty like
(28:10):
hey listen, they broke like oh my god, like they like,
it's all right, it'll sort it's it'll it'll sort itself out.
Because here's the thing. Most things do. Yeah, especially when
you're not a butthole. Like if you're a bad person
and ship doesn't work out, well you earn that. Um.
And but this whole thing, it's like I wanted to
(28:31):
be kind, respectful. It's also not the manufacturer's fault. They
didn't do it. That is not that they're a devastated
as I was. You know, they don't want that reputation.
They don't want that experience for you. Oh gosh, they
don't they. I will say, like, I hadn't heard about this,
and then you brought it up and I was like, whoa,
you are so clear about this. It was impressive. It
(28:54):
was really impressive. Yeah, thank you. I surrendered to the situation.
And again, so rendering doesn't mean you're waving a white flag.
I didn't have resistance. I don't want people to get
confused because I think sometimes the word surrender gets confused
with like war games and there's the white flag, I
surrender and it's like, yeah, I surrender, Yeah I lost.
(29:14):
I didn't lose. I think it is a spiritual power move.
Yes it is. It's an energetic like self respect right
that says, I'm not gonna like twirl on this like
so many people, even things like we wake up in
the middle of the night spinning on you, like waiting,
Oh my god, would you get out of my head?
Exactly what I was gonna say. You told me get
People said it was rude by the way you lectured
(29:36):
me one day about that, and you just got in
my head. I was just gonna return. But I listen,
here's a funny thing. I didn't sit around. I didn't
lay around, because that's what And I didn't lay around
in stew There was no stewing, there was no stomping.
There were none of the s. Yeah, and the only
(29:58):
S was surrender. So I didn't do I didn't stop.
I wasn't shitty. I'm just gonna track it all theses
I can um and and and it kept me more sane.
So I didn't use energy that I shouldn't use. It
didn't expend unnecessary energy. And you didn't have it to expend, right, Well,
definitely didn't have it to expend. Um And I don't
(30:21):
think no matter what my physical condition is, I don't
need to be expending unnecessary energy. You know. I want
to save it for the good stuff, you know. I
want to save it for if there's a real emergency.
It's there for me to tap into, like when you
save that guy's life in New York that I still
think about regularly. Um Or do I want to save
it for some like a massive creative project that I
(30:41):
want to do. Do I want to save it? You know,
there's all these things that I'd rather put it to
than stewing. Right, So, and I think, like exigency, right,
how much energy do I invest in this as much
as I'm going to get back? Like me going off
for weeks on end or doing them or like you know,
like over over extending, like is that going to change anything?
(31:06):
Or screaming or whatever it is. You know, it's really
such a such a graceful move to make, like how
is this going to come back to me? How is
this going to change things? And that that just question
what is mine in this and what isn't? If you
can get super clear on that line and everything else, surrender,
(31:27):
just surrender it because if I tried to take it over,
I couldn't because it wasn't mine to take over. And
that's it. That is the the ultimate I'm losing energy here,
right is when when you cross that line and you
start investing in over controlling, you're exhausting yourself. I had
nothing to do with the drunk and cut the trucking company.
They're the ones who dropped it on their crane UM.
(31:50):
And but that's not me. I A, I didn't pick them.
Let's start with that. And what And I can't make
it go backwards, you know, can't two point that. UM.
It'd be cool if I could. UM. And there's no
time traveling involved, none of those things. So there's just
there's were not options at the moment. And and so
(32:13):
when I was just able to look at it and
be like, all right, even, I was even okay if
we needed to change material, I was even okay. I
was so like, all right, well, let's just refigure this out.
And I think that's the magic of all of this
is nothing ever goes as planned, folks, we know you know,
(32:38):
it just doesn't. UM. And if you do it right,
it actually turns out to surprise you. I was just
I met with this really lovely woman this morning, UM,
who is going to help us with the website for UM,
the nonprofit Life Circle UM that that I'm on the
board for. And she and I were really great lady.
(32:58):
Her name is June, and I just adore her already,
and UM, I looked at her and I just said,
I go, you know what, most of my life has
been in the bonus round. So we'll figure this out.
It's all good. We might not do it today, but
we'll get it done well, get it done for everybody.
And I just and I talked about the bonus round,
and I've talked about it a lot lately, and I
think everybody's life is in the bonus round. No matter
(33:19):
what you think about your life, you're in the bonus well.
And that's because no day is guaranteed right, exactly right.
Everything is a bonus for me. And so when I
look at this, it's like, Okay, well, maybe my bonus
is a little different than I thought it was gonna be.
And but it's just a and it's again not a
cop out. It's like, extraordinary things happen in my life,
(33:41):
extraordinary things and little things that are extraordinary. Especially when
I can finally get my dog to learn how to
speak English and talk back to me, that would be amazing.
But but extraordinary things happen, and they do because I'm
not forcing I'm surrendering um and and I'm trying not
(34:01):
to be an asshole. That's Julie's words of wisdom for
the day. You can go far on that you actually
can you know, and again, just consider make it you know,
invite people to to make it like a challenge or
a practice, like even if it's I know for today,
(34:22):
practices are long, but even if it's a twenty one
day practice of what can I surrender today and write
shut down people? That's I do. I I started out
my first what's mine? What is not mine? In fact,
I'm pretty sure you made me write it down. UM,
So I don't think I suggested it, but yes, Slash
made me. Um, but writing it down what is mine?
(34:44):
And especially if you're dealing because part of things, my gosh,
we're gonna have to like wrap this episode up because
I'm afraid we could go on forever. But um, part
of the surrendering to the empathetic side of myself. Um,
when I would feel like I to write down how
I felt, and then I would write down and wait,
I would actually discover that's not mine, and I would
(35:06):
let it go, and so often from the impaths like wait,
ultimately that I don't own that, like I can't change that,
then it's not yours and you can just send it
right back to send it right out of your fields,
back to who you don't have to like, you know,
bomb them with it just you know, send that energy
right back to them. Visualize what that's like to lighten
(35:26):
up your load, because you can get really bogged down.
So writing those things down was really helpful. And with
that we are going to wrap this up so we
can send it out to them the perfect to our audience.
So welcome back, my own thank you, thank you back,
and remember her school is hard without the other side.
(35:49):
Thanks everybody, Thank you for joining us. Everyone and especial
well thanks to our producer Joey pat and our executive
producer Maya Cole Howard, who guides us while we guide.
You hit us up on Instagram at other Side Guides,
(36:10):
or shoot us a note at high Hi at vibes
dot store. We want to know what you think, We
want to know what you know, and we want to
hear your stories. And remember our school is hard without
the other Side. Insider's Guide to the Other Side is
a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcast from
my Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Spotify,
(36:34):
Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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