November 30, 2022 • 39 mins
As you walk this world, you inevitably have choices to make—those proverbial forks in the road where no matter what choice you make, there's no 'winning.' These are the moral dilemmas we all must face at some time or another.
Join Julie as she poses a series of questions certain to make you stop and think: What would I do? How would I deal with a challenge like this? It's choose-your-own-adventure day, presenting ethical and moral right-or-wrong scenarios sure to make you ponder.
Earth School is hard, and difficult decisions trigger a range of emotions you'd rather not deal with. Tapping into your Divinely-guided inner compass helps you problem-solve with clarity and support from the Other Side.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of My Heart Radio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie. Hi there,
I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side. Now,
y'all need to know that we are obsessed with everything
on the other side. Yes, we are, because once you
(00:22):
learn to navigate the energetic, or to some the invisible world,
life is going to be more fun and much more serene. Heck,
yes it can, because, let's be honest, brand Earth school
is hard. In fact, you taught me that let's crush
Earth School together. Well, hello, my witchy woo, how are you?
(00:49):
I am doing right by alf and how be you? Well? Wait,
I just I'm gonna hate to say this, but what
have you been doing in between calls today? Secret? Secret?
I have been playing my drums from the Vibe Storm
(01:10):
in between and if they're so fun and they're so joyful,
like it's such a joyful, playful sound. I'm very enamored
with them. It's so much fun. And then all of
a sudden like, oh crap, I got it's phone. I know. Well,
it's such a great way to shift the you know,
shift the energy between cars. That's so great. So I've been, Um,
(01:33):
I've been sitting here and my work chair because I
don't have an office. You have a workchair to have
a work chair. And so I'm saying my work chair
with a bucket of Rambo moonstone and a flashlight. And
the bucket is water because that's the best way to
see the flashes, you know, with water it's really easy.
And with white because I want to create some sort
(01:58):
of art he with these for the outside of our
new house. It's not new house or old ass house
that we're going to make more where we're renovating. We
have no floors right now. Um, like zero floors. There's
no floors in this house. But you have plans to
put in. There are plans, but there's that they're done
right now. But I was thinking either like pavers um
(02:19):
that would be really sweet, or I was thinking about
a mural of stones on the side of the garage.
It's Santa Fe. I mean, it's kind of anything goes right.
That's what we call a moral dilemma. I see what
you did there. Well, actually we taught this funny thing
(02:41):
is we were talking and we were like talking about
what upcoming episodes we want to do topics. You know,
you gave me an opportunity to tell people that they're
hearing your papers. Oh yeah, sorry, everybody, you will hear
my papers because I'm nerdy elf. This episode shout right.
But here's what happens. So we we were chit chatting away,
(03:03):
talking about different things, and I, of course, for some reason,
brought up the female prison shows I like to watch.
And you were like, you're like one, and as one does,
it's like it comes up in natural conversation. And doesn't
everybody like to watch female prison shows? And and you
were like, why do you watch those? And UM, I
(03:24):
was like, well, I I can explain this. I go.
I love a good moral dilemma, and there they are,
just chalk full of moral dilemmas. I love to see
how how people or characters choose. I actually pay attention
to this in real life too. UM, but I like
to really see I do. Oh my god, I love
more dilemmas. Um, but I'd like to see where they go.
(03:45):
And and so we thought we'd talked about them today,
hence the we will be in paper shuffling zone. Um.
But another thing that people are generation talk about, Brent,
is we always say Sophie's choice, because Sophie's choice is
our short to moral dilemma, right, yeah, hashtags off his
choice um, which is the Oscar winning movie. His choice
(04:13):
Meryl streep Head to choose between her son and her daughter.
I believe to between her two children children, one of
them could live, and that's a Sophie's choice. Because so
now I just want to say for the record, like
I enjoy, you know, cultivating the story around a good
(04:34):
moral dilemma, not so much the prison shows. But that
is not my chim no. But we'll talk about this
in a second. But I because they are there's there.
It's not about their moral dilemmas in prison in a
lot of cases, is they're moral dilemmas that got them
into prison. You know, there are there, they're especially the
women shows. I know I sound insane, but it's okay, everybody,
(04:57):
I am, but it is. It is. There's so many
of the characters that go in because like they're in
a related marriage, they have a children, and they have
an abusive husband. And that's what I'm saying. This. Why
I like this, why I like to watch is like
you actually see it playing out right. I don't like
(05:17):
more of the limb isn't gonna be wrong. I like
to see what people do, so it's I don't hate
when people are have these situations. Um, but in many cases,
you know, they see the In fact, they actually think
through their choices, which is interesting. Some people act out
of just emotion and in the moment, in the moment,
but in many cases, in these prison shows, they actually
(05:41):
think through what they're doing, and they think through It's like,
well I could probably it'd probably easier if I just
get rid of them for good. Otherwise he's gonna make mine,
in my daughter's life a living hell for as long
as we all show live. And that's a choice, right,
So if you don't mind, I'm going to give everybody
some definitions, and so we all kind of start from
a level playing field, and we're going to have kind
of a game. We're gonna like kind of like gamify
(06:02):
this a little bit. There are some moral dilemma scenarios
that we will want to say remind our audience that
I am with you, because I have no idea where
she's going. No, no, this is for the ride. I'm
with you, all right. However, you're gonna have to answer
some of these. But it's gonna be interesting because you know,
because these are they talk a lot about. Yeah, well,
(06:23):
the psychologists talk a lot about the scenarios um in
order for you to establish what your moral compass actually
is like. So it's a really interesting exercise, whether you
believe it or not, it's I mean, the moral compass part,
but it's really interesting. So let's just let's just define
morality for one. So morality is defined as the principles
(06:43):
concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and
bad behavior. What makes these questions dilemmas is an individual's
definition of right or wrong, or good and bad. Right,
So this is it's how we define right and wrong,
good and bad. And you'll here on some of these
questions how different people could have a different answer based
(07:05):
on what their morality is. But a moral dilemma is
a conflict, right, So this is I mean, I love conflicts.
Conflicts are amazing. They make is so much better in
the world, and we can understand them. But a more
dilemma is a con It also just depends on the context,
Like what can be a moral dilemma in the suburbs
in the Midwest, versus in the third world country looks
(07:30):
very different. Correct, some context is everything, So it is
absolutely everything. Yeah, we're judging here for the red. We're
just look, if there wasn't absolute right or wrong, there
would be no moral dilemma. It would it wouldn't be
called a dilemma, right, the word dilemma would not exist. Right.
This is why it's a discussion. Right, So this is
(07:53):
this is how it's defined. Is a moral dilemma is
a conflict in which a person must choose between two
or more actions, all of which they have the ability
to do. So, this is important, right, Like the example
I gave you from one of the women's prison shows
was actually a character in there, and she had to
choose both were in her power, her power to kill
(08:14):
him or her power to divorce him. That those were
her choices. There are moral reasons for each choice. No
matter which choice you make, someone will suffer or something
bad will happen. See, that's the whole thing, that's right,
that's that is that it right there, when we are
in a position where we have to choose no wing
(08:37):
that it's not a win win situation, right, Right, that's
what a moral dilemma is. Should we take a quick
break and come right back and we'll like launch into
some of these like awesome scenarios. Absolutely, Okay, you guys,
get out to you know, go get your paper and pen,
because there's gonna be a pop quiz at the end
of a feeling right throughout. Okay, we'll be right back
(09:07):
and welcome back. Are you already Are you a little nervous?
You know sometimes you get nervous for tests. Are you
experiencing a dilemma? It's not a dilemma. Okay, So so
there are so one of the questions I think is
actually a really fascinating one. Um, and it's titled a
difficult choice. It's like, that's what immordlemma is. But so
(09:31):
here's the here's the quick question. It's not quick. Here's
the question. I'll do my best to read it properly.
You and your family love the beach and decide to
spend a weekend at an isolated beach cabin. Your teenage
daughter often gets bored on your getaway, so you make
plans to take your niece along. As soon as you arrive,
a storm is looming on the horizon and the water
(09:53):
looks rough. You tell the girls. They can get ready
to swim, but to come back and help unload the
are They are so excited they do not pay attention
to the last part of what you say and run
down to the beach to swim. You do not realize
they have done so until you hear your daughter scream.
You realize they are both caught in a strong current
(10:15):
and might be swept out to see. You are a
good swim I do not like where this is going.
You are a good swimmer, and no, you can save
one of them. You have a difficult choice to make,
do you. They give us two options in this. Number one,
save your niece first, as she is a poor swimmer
(10:36):
and will not be able to last as long as
your daughter, right, that's number one. Two is save your
daughter first, because although she is a strong swimmer and
may be able to last long enough for you to
come back after saving your niece, you cannot stand the
idea of losing her. That's a world dilemma and people
(10:59):
have faced this. Yeah, no, that's true. Right, Yeah, I'm
the asshole that would probably pick my kid mm hmm
in the moment, though, I wonder hopefully you know cancel Claire,
But cancel. It doesn't matter, you know, it's this is
(11:26):
all I can think about is, look, if you're at
the beach somewhere around there, there is a flipping life jacket,
That's what I'm thinking, right, So you you swim out
with some with one of them and flip them in
the life jacket and take the other one back. Okay,
so that is a way better choice. They didn't have
that one next time. I would actually like, as someone
(11:47):
who spent a lot of time on the beach and
at the oceans, that's what I would do. So I
know it the options no, but it's so. But actually
that's really good though, because that is problem solving in
a way that when you think you're facing a moral dilemma,
maybe it's not as simplistic as you think it is.
Maybe there's a more like complex. I mean, they did
say isolated cabin this kind of stuff. So yeah, but
(12:10):
if you're on the cabinet on the water, there's a
life jacket, I promise you. Okay, if there's not a
life jacket, then it's a real more of the limit there, right.
But this is what they are to have them, have
them swim towards each other, that's what I do. Make
a chain of plumb back. Oh, listen to you. You're
like life problem solver, Life hacks Flash Brenda, a life
(12:34):
hack that is so good. Okay, this one is so shitty.
They're all shitty, but this one is super shitty. Yeah,
because this goes against my moral compass. So f y
I okay, Um. It's called midnight death. You have worked
right midnight death. There's a reason they call it. Midnight
(12:58):
is a deadline, literally line. You have worked years to
be successful in your father's business. You felt you were
obligated to take over, as he worked his whole life
to build the business left to him by his father. However,
the large businesses in town have seriously cut into profits,
and for several years you and your family have just
managed to scrape by. Your father's health has declined and
(13:22):
he has been hospitalized. He has a substantial life insurance
policy that expires at midnight. If he dies before midnight,
you will inherit enough money to pursue a career you
have always dreamed of and provide adequately for your family.
Do you There's three options. Number one, pinch the oxygen line,
(13:42):
making it making it possible for your dad to die
or smother him with a pillow. That is one of
the options for God. So I'm telling you this one,
This one just like sent me over the edge. But
this is but this is our morality. But let's keep
going like because it's everybody's in different situations. Number two
is tell your dad the problem and let him suggest
(14:03):
a solution and go by what he says. Interesting. Option
number three is do nothing, as you cannot imagine living
with yourself if you terminate your dad's life. Okay, I'm
not a killer, I'm really not. I mean, like that's
a that's a big thing for me in my life.
Well but no, but for real life. But even you know,
(14:25):
with all the Second Amendment talking guns and all this
kind of stuff, we've talked about guns before. We all
know I have some drama attached it from a previous life.
But that aside, I really like my mission on this
planet is to not take another another life. It's just
isn't money isn't worth it? Money? Like you can figure
out how to make money in one way or the other.
You do not need to do that. You know, like
(14:47):
that to me isn't even a moral dilemma. That is
just like it wouldn't even cross my mind. But it
is a moral dilemma that they pose in this because
you know, there are people who worry in part because
I don't have kids, right Like, I don't think of out.
I don't have to care for children and feed them
and provide and all that kind of stuff. Um, but
I could see there it could be one right, Yeah,
(15:09):
and you know again, I think I think there's a
fourth way. What's the fourth wife. Well, if there's really
you know, bigger companies around, sell out to one of them,
take the cash and start your second career. Yeah right,
I mean I think that's a good one. That's a
(15:30):
good one, sure, but that's something we choices. My choices
is first of all, first of all, the second the
second choice is not a choice. I mean, first of all,
if someone's that close to to the end, they're not
usually very coherent and and what the hell is he
going to do about it anyhow? Okay, so I got
I got six hours to figure out how to get
(15:51):
the hell out of here. Like, you know, that's not
really so it's like getting permission to kill someone. I mean,
it's like you don't you know, no one's gonna say that. Yeah,
take me out. I'm good. You know people did. That's
not how people live or how people die. But anyhow,
so that's kind of lame. But um, okay, I haven't
not lame one. Next, okay, because this one I think.
(16:12):
I think this one is tough for some people. It's
called telling a secret. It's short. Um, your your friend
tells you they committed a crime. I say this because
I was in high school in Oklahoma and this did
happen to me. Your friend tells you they committed a crime.
They explain, Yeah for real they yeah, I mean not
(16:33):
like murdering kind of crimes. But you know, they explained
that they are having trouble sleeping at night and feel
you're the only one they can trust with their confession.
A few days later, you read in the paper that
someone has been arrested for your friends friends crime. Do
you okay, By the way, nobody ever got arrested for
any of my dipship friends. Um do you one? They
(16:57):
didn't not nothing aware of believe Um. Number one, do
you go to the police and tell them what you know?
Number two? Encourage your friend to confess and warm him.
Warn him I'm going to say or her. If he
she they does not do so, you will tell. Number
(17:17):
three is say nothing, because you will not betray a
friend's confidence. See, I think this is a good one
though I really do well for me personally, I am
the holder of many secrets, none illegally that I know
of some who get close to the line. I'm not
(17:40):
kidding the line baby walking exactly, and you know as
as a reverend that that's not I'm not here to
judge people. Christ I mean. So, it's so that the
number I believe in the second option it was actually
collapsed to options which is listened to your friend, encourage
(18:01):
them to search their conscious and find the way forward.
But the whole threatened to go to the police. Otherwise
that doesn't belong in the same option. I agree with you,
and I think is a really good one. It's like,
if that scenario happens to be, like, listen, if you
want to clear your conscious, this only you can do that,
Like that is on them, but is the Yeah, But
(18:24):
I personally I think that's the I think that would
be the best scenario. And if they chose not to,
they chose not to well exactly. And the other thing
is like just having so much compassion for them because
they're obviously in pain if they're not sleeping at night,
and you know, it's only going to get worse over
the years, right, and it's not got to get less,
It's going to get worse because the body never lies, right.
(18:46):
The body is going to hold that forever, Yeah, forever.
There better paying their price than they're going to get
time of it. R. They didn't get sick, and it's
not a judgment call on them, it's just that's how
the body works. Okay, So the next one is my
all time favorite because I know people have had this
more of the limb about me, So it's called sarcastic friend.
(19:11):
I guarantee you that people have had this. Your your
friend has a great sense of humor. However, sometimes her
I'm gonna say her, they say his stupid report. However,
sometimes her jokes involved making fun of others in inappropriate ways,
done that he will point out. She will point out
(19:32):
I don't do this, as she will point out a
physical flaw or look for something odd that's not me
or different about a person and make an unkind comment
and that's definitely not me. Um. You feel uncomfortable when
your friend does this, do you say something or just
laugh along with him or they I've been caught in
this many times. Actually, I now speak up, and it's
(19:57):
used to because I'm not that's atually not me. I mean,
I'm funny, and I'm sure I say things that can
be offensive, but it's not about other people's looks and
things like that. Um. The other thing is, I think
a lot of times people are going for the giggle,
not to be mean, like they're just they're just like
making jokes like this, right, right. But you know, We've
talked about a number of these situations that I've been in,
(20:19):
um in the last couple of years. Um, whether it
was right like going to the airport taking somebody's friend
and made a terrible comment about the Hispanic family right
crossing this street and and I lost my ever living ship.
The other ones laughed along. I lost my ship and
threw out of my car. Um. You know, I've definitely UM.
(20:44):
Even when I was young, I would call people out
and they'd be like, lighting up, you're such a joke,
and I'd be like, look, just asked you to say
those things in my presence, that's all. Don't invite me
that one weird personally for me is not a Morald
Limit the stage of my life. But it has been.
It has been, and I know many other people have
(21:04):
dealt with this that sometimes you get uncomfortable and you
just kind of like what do I do? Like kind
of deer and headlights. You're different, You're you're a witchie
pooh the rest of us mortals. This has been I
think a dilemma for people about what to do. This
isn't like killing your father that's going to die for money.
This isn't those us. This is actually a very day
(21:25):
to day kind of thing. And whether it's a friend,
whether it's a sibling, a parent, a whatever it may be. Um,
that is a I think that's a real dilemma for people,
is what to do. The only thing I will say
is sometimes particularly if it's a very senior person, Um,
(21:48):
you know someone and you say, well into their eighties,
and and you understand the context of this is not
going to change anything, like when my mom had Alzheimer's. Yes, no,
there's no, there's no question I think that in a
(22:11):
midlife healthy, physically healthy situation. To me, this is not
a moral dilemma. It's an obvious thing, but I know
it is a moral dilemma to other people without a doubt,
and I think that's a very tough thing because I
think to your point is when you start to balance
these things like this is actually really good because part
of what this whole study is asking you to do
(22:32):
is ask yourself how you would do handle this, And
there's not a yes or a hundred percent no on everything.
So like in what you just brought up is a
great example. That's why adult children, when they're older parents
like go off the deep end and become right wingers.
They don't say anything because they're not going to change it,
(22:53):
and they just know it's going to cause a battle.
They it's it's they just don't do it, and that
is a moral dilemma for them because they don't win
either way, right, there's no winning. Yeah, well, this has
been a great little challenge and we're going to take
a break so you all can discuss and reflect upon
your answers. That's right, would you kill your dad? Did
(23:14):
you tell your mama to shut the funk up? For
being my goodness and welcome back, thanks every time in
your laugh every time every time. I just want to
(23:36):
say thank you Nerd for bringing these. These are interesting.
It's great. Yeah, all right, what else you got for us? Well,
this one is always fascinating to me because it's about
the value that you put on a life, on whose
life in the in where they are in life. And
this is called the lifeboat. Um it says you were
on a cruise in the ship encounters an unexpected storm.
(24:00):
By the way, clearly these were written a long time ago,
because nobody goes on cruises anymore, because they're a desk tracts.
But that's not true. I know they do. I was
just kidding, I was The storm continues to rage, and
eventually you and the other passengers are told you must
head to the lifeboats and abandoned ship. As people begin
(24:20):
to line up, you realize some lines have fewer people,
some have families, and some seem to have younger single people.
You know you are strong and capable. Do you choose
to help a group composed of three families with a
few young children, a group of seniors who obviously could
use your help, or go with the young, strong people
(24:42):
with whom you might have a better chance of survival.
I'm sorry, I'm just distracted by the Titanic, so on
going through my head right saying where you yeah so so, Um,
(25:05):
Well I'm a helper, I'll answer, I'm a helper. Yeah,
I mean I will help. But if I go down,
I go down. But if if I can help five
and lose one of me, it's I'm better with that
than I am because I could not live with myself
picking the line. If I didn't try picking the line
of the stronger ones that are capable, I would feel
(25:27):
horrible about who I was as a human. I'd rather
have a shorter life then live with that then when
that's meaningful. Right. Yeah, but I understand them more of
the lemma. Yeah, I understand because remember the definition either
choice is not a winner, right, It's just like, how
(25:50):
how does your more morality align to what your choices?
I would also understand if there was somebody who was
a parent and they had three of those kids, they're
likely going to make sure that their three kids make
it and they're safe and they're not worried about anybody
else outside of that. I get that. That's how that's why,
(26:11):
that's how, that's how it works. It has to be
how it works, right. If anything, they would you know,
because they only have two hands, they would send another
kid someplace else like they you know, someone else who
was capable of that. They trusted, you know, can you
be with this child? Like? Right? I mean you hear
stories of that all the time, whether it's at the
border or in a disaster or something. Right, yeah, go ahead.
(26:38):
It was just recently there was a it was a
veteran stay right, And so there was a story where
someone in Iraq when when they were pulling out of
Iraq a year ago, um soldiers on the ground and
they it was just sheer mayhem, right, and they a
(27:00):
m Someone threw a bag over the fence and the
soldier just assumed it was a bomb in a bag,
and so he caught the bag to keep it from
falling out on the ground and exploding. Like what mindset
is that. That's not even a moral dilemma, that's just
sheer insanity in my mind obviously to be trained like that.
(27:20):
And when he when it landed in his arms, he
knew it wasn't a bomb because it was a child
in a bag. Because someone was so desperate to save
their child, they threw this child over the fence into
the U S territory like it was us control territory anyhow.
It's just I mean, but that so an, that's what
(27:42):
that brought up into my mind. Wow, Well, I was
going to go to a lighter topic. He went really heavy.
I'm gonna okay, and what we don't all know we
faced this. Are you ready? Yes, a friend gives you
a gift for your birthday. Unfortunately it is a type
of perfume you are extremely allergic to. Do you say
(28:06):
something and ask for a receipt to return it or
keep it quiet? It's a more dilemma anyway, slice or dice.
More dilemmas come with life and death scenarios. They also
come with scenarios like this. I would never say anything
because the the idea of the gift has been received,
(28:29):
which is exactly exactly pass it along. I'll tell a
personal story about that. So the first, the first time
I met the second time I met David Um, I
was sick and I had had the flu, and I
wasn't contagious at this point, but I was still not.
(28:49):
And he was visiting friends in town and they came
for reading, and so I got up. I had to
reschedule the reading by a couple of days, but eventually
I got out of bed, did reading for them, and
basically went back to bed for two more days. And
he was so grateful that he went to my friend's
house and made chicken soup for me and brought it
over so I would feel better. Well, of course, the
(29:10):
chicken soup had onions in it, and I'm allergic onions,
and chicken soup has onions, said it? Well, it did
when that one did? Yeah, and so so I just
gave the soup to my neighbors who had children, and
you know it was fine, right, um. And you know
we were probably dating for five years where he's like,
you never rate that soup? Did you? Oh? That's funny, Like, hell, no,
(29:34):
I was sick already. I didn't. It's really funny because
you're right. When it comes to gifts, it's like the
intention of the gifts has it's already been received, no
matter what it may be, right, right, I completely agree
with you. Um. So here's one I have faced sadly
multiple times in my life. When making a purchase at
(29:57):
a local store, you're given too much change. Do you
say something or keep quiet? I would never say something
because I would never notice I know you wouldn't because
you're not a counter. I don't care. I mean, it's
like it's a rounding here. I've given it back every time,
every every Oh. Absolutely, yeah, I will absolutely give it back.
(30:21):
But I'll also I have no wishes of saying if
they gave, if they under if they short changed me,
So where's my pennies? I want my pennies? Well it's no,
it's mainly bills if I go after that. But it's
like because and there have been cases in Susanne and
I don't remember the exact situation, but there was actually
(30:41):
a merchant. I think we're living in l A if
I'm not mistaken, and um it was the person who
was working the register. I think they were intentionally shorting
people and pocketing the money, and so right that that's
a real thing too, that happens, and so on the
flip side of it, I will absolutely say something because
that's not right either, and I will and I will
(31:02):
definitely bring it up, but I will always give it
back because it's about balance, right. Well, I also think
it's going to mess up their drawer at the end
of the night. Well, if they're pocketing money, then that's different. Well,
that's the thing. If they give me five dollars less,
but they begin in everybody five dollars less all day,
then that doesn't mess up their register. And clearly it
would mess it up if they gave you too much.
(31:23):
And I also know, because I've worked a register before,
um um, I know that I'm liable for that. And
you know, I worked at quick Stop two in Mama,
Oklahoma seven and I'd count that damn change every night
to make sure it was right. I'd count the drawer
(31:44):
so very well, aware of what can happen. However, you
know it's again, it is only my moral compass is
not anybody else's, It's mine. And my moral moral compass
is I never want anything I am not entitled to,
you know, like I'm entitled to the proper change. I'm
not entitled to too much change, So I give it
(32:04):
back like that's but that's just been this is born
this way kind of thing. Like I've never considered keeping
it before. Now I can understand there are people who will.
There are people like, oh, your mistake, I win. Yeah,
And I have to say I think your mama being
a cp A may have influenced that just a bit,
(32:25):
I think, is she telling you that she totally is,
isn't she? I knew it? British shaking her head up
and down. That my mother, my mom. This is a
three way like podcast. Now if you noticed, Mom came
swoops in all the time. She's frandomly well. And her
point is how we grow up in the context in
which we grow up matters. Yes, it does, and it's
(32:47):
not a reflection good or bad. It just matters. It's
just part of the equation that could. Yeah, you know,
Mom wasn't somebody to ever take something that wasn't hers.
That just wasn't her nature. She would rather live without
it than to accept something that wasn't hers. Yeah, and
that's that's how you got to where that's right exactly.
So these some of these questions are even I'm like, wait,
(33:08):
that's there's a more the limit here, you know, Like
I understand that, but these are important for people to
ask themselves these things, right, Like, there's some that and
I also know we have some really delightful, kind hearted listeners.
So this one's for you. Your lunch keeps missing at work,
you are pretty sure you know who was taking it.
(33:31):
Each day, do you confront them reported to your supervisor.
HR get them back by making a cat food sandwich
or just keep quiet. It says cat food sandwich. I
didn't make that up, although I would have made it up,
but I didn't. This is a new kind of cat fishing, right.
This isn't cat food sandwich. Um, this is real. I
(33:53):
had a roommate that used to take all the food,
two of them. I definitely had this happen at work.
What I did. By the way, my college roommate she
kept eating all my mate tuna fish salad or chicken
salad or something just easy to eat off of for
the week, and she ate every I mean like one
day it was gone. So I started putting palepina peppers
(34:14):
in it. And she's like, Wow, you've really gotten into
jalapenas lately. I'm like, I know, I love him. She
has she's I really can't stand in there two spices.
I'm like, oh, which I knew, But it was like
my way of stopping it because we're roommates. I didn't
want to have a battle. That's one way to give it, right.
But if you're at work and something like this is persistent,
(34:36):
you know, um, and it can get costly for you too,
because if you made something you brought it in, then
you have to go buy lunch, and you know the
things that up. I mean, what would you do? Mhm
I had that situation. Well, we're gonna put you in it.
That's what these questions are for, so you had I
clearly have dealt with like a lot of stupid little
bullshit in my life. So for all of these, uh,
(35:00):
I don't know what I would do. Um, put a
post it note on it that says you know who
you are. Oh my god, that's hilarious. Thank you for
not taking my lunch today. That's really funny. Or make too,
I'll make I'll make one for you tomorrow or something
I don't know. I don't know, maybe variations on that.
That's really funny. Okay, have we had enough questions? We
(35:23):
have any time for anymore? I think we did great?
Did we? Okay? Yeah? We hope you enjoyed just being
in these questions with us and navigating and you know,
just hopefully it strikes some interesting conversations beyond this podcast
as you reflect and maybe giggle a little bit. It
was like, oh, yeah, that's I still don't know what
(35:43):
to do. Or yeah, that's not a problem for me. Well,
it's and I think it's also Like you said, I
think it can be geographic, cultural, socio economic, the life
stage that you're in, the suation that you're in right
the context of it um. And I think as you
go through those these questions, if you choose to re
(36:05):
listen to this podcast, I hope you do, and I
hope you actually take some notes about them, is that
ask yourself some of these questions under different circumstances than
where you are today. And I think that's how you
really find out more about who you are. Like I've
been through all these I answered all of them, of course,
because I'm a nerdy elf. And I think it's always
(36:26):
important to always trying to check in to see where
your moral compass is, to see where you sit in
that day. And I think you're right brand about you know,
not casting judgment. This isn't casting judgment on anybody else.
It's more about you. This is an inside job, folks,
if you care enough about it, I think you can
go google um moral dilemma questions and there's a slew
(36:47):
of them out there. These are just the ones that
I chose. There's a lot of them that exist um
and may be familiar and some may not. I think
also just from you know, spiritual I a sercise and
in conversation or maybe just reflection yourself when someone chose
a different option, how you can stretch your heart space
(37:10):
to hold with compassion their valid choice m hm. And
like saving the kids, like whether it's Sophie choice or
the situation at the at the remote beach house kind
of thing that's a no win no matter what, because
it is it is. I'd get them both in though
I know i'd get them. I think you, I think
you could save them both. And if my mom wants
(37:33):
to swoop back in, she taught me how to swim,
so she would actually say, you could get them both.
What's wrong with you, child? Yeah, there's no doubt with
your power, no problem. Yeah, just send me. But these
are But but again you might have to because when
you first start to save both, you may end up
only being able to save one. Right, Like there's all
(37:54):
those things that you may say both of them end
up dying, Like that can happen, and that happens to
it happened at the happens all the time, right, lots
ofs riptides are just scary scary alright, I think we
have covered it lots more dilemmas. Thank you, my alf,
my nerdy ol. Thanks were showing up and doing the
leg work, and thanks for listening. And remember our school
(38:17):
is hard without the other side. Thank you all, Hi,
thank you for joining us everyone, and a special thanks
to our producer Joey pat and our executive producer Maya
Cole Howard, who guides us well we guide you. Hit
(38:39):
us up on Instagram at other Side Guides, or shoot
us a note at high h I at vibes dot store.
We want to know what you think, We want to
know what you know, and we want to hear your stories.
And remember, our school is hard without the other side.
Insider's Guide to the other Side is a production of
I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio,
(39:03):
visit the I heart Radio app, Spotify, Apple podcast, or
wherever you get your podcasts. M
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of My Heart Radio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie. Hi there,
I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side. Now,
y'all need to know that we are obsessed with everything
on the other side. Yes, we are, because once you
(00:22):
learn to navigate the energetic, or to some the invisible world,
life is going to be more fun and much more serene. Heck,
yes it can, because, let's be honest, brand Earth school
is hard. In fact, you taught me that let's crush
Earth School together. Well, hello, my witchy woo, how are you?
(00:49):
I am doing right by alf and how be you? Well? Wait,
I just I'm gonna hate to say this, but what
have you been doing in between calls today? Secret? Secret?
I have been playing my drums from the Vibe Storm
(01:10):
in between and if they're so fun and they're so joyful,
like it's such a joyful, playful sound. I'm very enamored
with them. It's so much fun. And then all of
a sudden like, oh crap, I got it's phone. I know. Well,
it's such a great way to shift the you know,
shift the energy between cars. That's so great. So I've been, Um,
(01:33):
I've been sitting here and my work chair because I
don't have an office. You have a workchair to have
a work chair. And so I'm saying my work chair
with a bucket of Rambo moonstone and a flashlight. And
the bucket is water because that's the best way to
see the flashes, you know, with water it's really easy.
And with white because I want to create some sort
(01:58):
of art he with these for the outside of our
new house. It's not new house or old ass house
that we're going to make more where we're renovating. We
have no floors right now. Um, like zero floors. There's
no floors in this house. But you have plans to
put in. There are plans, but there's that they're done
right now. But I was thinking either like pavers um
(02:19):
that would be really sweet, or I was thinking about
a mural of stones on the side of the garage.
It's Santa Fe. I mean, it's kind of anything goes right.
That's what we call a moral dilemma. I see what
you did there. Well, actually we taught this funny thing
(02:41):
is we were talking and we were like talking about
what upcoming episodes we want to do topics. You know,
you gave me an opportunity to tell people that they're
hearing your papers. Oh yeah, sorry, everybody, you will hear
my papers because I'm nerdy elf. This episode shout right.
But here's what happens. So we we were chit chatting away,
(03:03):
talking about different things, and I, of course, for some reason,
brought up the female prison shows I like to watch.
And you were like, you're like one, and as one does,
it's like it comes up in natural conversation. And doesn't
everybody like to watch female prison shows? And and you
were like, why do you watch those? And UM, I
(03:24):
was like, well, I I can explain this. I go.
I love a good moral dilemma, and there they are,
just chalk full of moral dilemmas. I love to see
how how people or characters choose. I actually pay attention
to this in real life too. UM, but I like
to really see I do. Oh my god, I love
more dilemmas. Um, but I'd like to see where they go.
(03:45):
And and so we thought we'd talked about them today,
hence the we will be in paper shuffling zone. Um.
But another thing that people are generation talk about, Brent,
is we always say Sophie's choice, because Sophie's choice is
our short to moral dilemma, right, yeah, hashtags off his
choice um, which is the Oscar winning movie. His choice
(04:13):
Meryl streep Head to choose between her son and her daughter.
I believe to between her two children children, one of
them could live, and that's a Sophie's choice. Because so
now I just want to say for the record, like
I enjoy, you know, cultivating the story around a good
(04:34):
moral dilemma, not so much the prison shows. But that
is not my chim no. But we'll talk about this
in a second. But I because they are there's there.
It's not about their moral dilemmas in prison in a
lot of cases, is they're moral dilemmas that got them
into prison. You know, there are there, they're especially the
women shows. I know I sound insane, but it's okay, everybody,
(04:57):
I am, but it is. It is. There's so many
of the characters that go in because like they're in
a related marriage, they have a children, and they have
an abusive husband. And that's what I'm saying. This. Why
I like this, why I like to watch is like
you actually see it playing out right. I don't like
(05:17):
more of the limb isn't gonna be wrong. I like
to see what people do, so it's I don't hate
when people are have these situations. Um, but in many cases,
you know, they see the In fact, they actually think
through their choices, which is interesting. Some people act out
of just emotion and in the moment, in the moment,
but in many cases, in these prison shows, they actually
(05:41):
think through what they're doing, and they think through It's like,
well I could probably it'd probably easier if I just
get rid of them for good. Otherwise he's gonna make mine,
in my daughter's life a living hell for as long
as we all show live. And that's a choice, right,
So if you don't mind, I'm going to give everybody
some definitions, and so we all kind of start from
a level playing field, and we're going to have kind
of a game. We're gonna like kind of like gamify
(06:02):
this a little bit. There are some moral dilemma scenarios
that we will want to say remind our audience that
I am with you, because I have no idea where
she's going. No, no, this is for the ride. I'm
with you, all right. However, you're gonna have to answer
some of these. But it's gonna be interesting because you know,
because these are they talk a lot about. Yeah, well,
(06:23):
the psychologists talk a lot about the scenarios um in
order for you to establish what your moral compass actually
is like. So it's a really interesting exercise, whether you
believe it or not, it's I mean, the moral compass part,
but it's really interesting. So let's just let's just define
morality for one. So morality is defined as the principles
(06:43):
concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and
bad behavior. What makes these questions dilemmas is an individual's
definition of right or wrong, or good and bad. Right,
So this is it's how we define right and wrong,
good and bad. And you'll here on some of these
questions how different people could have a different answer based
(07:05):
on what their morality is. But a moral dilemma is
a conflict, right, So this is I mean, I love conflicts.
Conflicts are amazing. They make is so much better in
the world, and we can understand them. But a more
dilemma is a con It also just depends on the context,
Like what can be a moral dilemma in the suburbs
in the Midwest, versus in the third world country looks
(07:30):
very different. Correct, some context is everything, So it is
absolutely everything. Yeah, we're judging here for the red. We're
just look, if there wasn't absolute right or wrong, there
would be no moral dilemma. It would it wouldn't be
called a dilemma, right, the word dilemma would not exist. Right.
This is why it's a discussion. Right, So this is
(07:53):
this is how it's defined. Is a moral dilemma is
a conflict in which a person must choose between two
or more actions, all of which they have the ability
to do. So, this is important, right, Like the example
I gave you from one of the women's prison shows
was actually a character in there, and she had to
choose both were in her power, her power to kill
(08:14):
him or her power to divorce him. That those were
her choices. There are moral reasons for each choice. No
matter which choice you make, someone will suffer or something
bad will happen. See, that's the whole thing, that's right,
that's that is that it right there, when we are
in a position where we have to choose no wing
(08:37):
that it's not a win win situation, right, Right, that's
what a moral dilemma is. Should we take a quick
break and come right back and we'll like launch into
some of these like awesome scenarios. Absolutely, Okay, you guys,
get out to you know, go get your paper and pen,
because there's gonna be a pop quiz at the end
of a feeling right throughout. Okay, we'll be right back
(09:07):
and welcome back. Are you already Are you a little nervous?
You know sometimes you get nervous for tests. Are you
experiencing a dilemma? It's not a dilemma. Okay, So so
there are so one of the questions I think is
actually a really fascinating one. Um, and it's titled a
difficult choice. It's like, that's what immordlemma is. But so
(09:31):
here's the here's the quick question. It's not quick. Here's
the question. I'll do my best to read it properly.
You and your family love the beach and decide to
spend a weekend at an isolated beach cabin. Your teenage
daughter often gets bored on your getaway, so you make
plans to take your niece along. As soon as you arrive,
a storm is looming on the horizon and the water
(09:53):
looks rough. You tell the girls. They can get ready
to swim, but to come back and help unload the
are They are so excited they do not pay attention
to the last part of what you say and run
down to the beach to swim. You do not realize
they have done so until you hear your daughter scream.
You realize they are both caught in a strong current
(10:15):
and might be swept out to see. You are a
good swim I do not like where this is going.
You are a good swimmer, and no, you can save
one of them. You have a difficult choice to make,
do you. They give us two options in this. Number one,
save your niece first, as she is a poor swimmer
(10:36):
and will not be able to last as long as
your daughter, right, that's number one. Two is save your
daughter first, because although she is a strong swimmer and
may be able to last long enough for you to
come back after saving your niece, you cannot stand the
idea of losing her. That's a world dilemma and people
(10:59):
have faced this. Yeah, no, that's true. Right, Yeah, I'm
the asshole that would probably pick my kid mm hmm
in the moment, though, I wonder hopefully you know cancel Claire,
But cancel. It doesn't matter, you know, it's this is
(11:26):
all I can think about is, look, if you're at
the beach somewhere around there, there is a flipping life jacket,
That's what I'm thinking, right, So you you swim out
with some with one of them and flip them in
the life jacket and take the other one back. Okay,
so that is a way better choice. They didn't have
that one next time. I would actually like, as someone
(11:47):
who spent a lot of time on the beach and
at the oceans, that's what I would do. So I
know it the options no, but it's so. But actually
that's really good though, because that is problem solving in
a way that when you think you're facing a moral dilemma,
maybe it's not as simplistic as you think it is.
Maybe there's a more like complex. I mean, they did
say isolated cabin this kind of stuff. So yeah, but
(12:10):
if you're on the cabinet on the water, there's a
life jacket, I promise you. Okay, if there's not a
life jacket, then it's a real more of the limit there, right.
But this is what they are to have them, have
them swim towards each other, that's what I do. Make
a chain of plumb back. Oh, listen to you. You're
like life problem solver, Life hacks Flash Brenda, a life
(12:34):
hack that is so good. Okay, this one is so shitty.
They're all shitty, but this one is super shitty. Yeah,
because this goes against my moral compass. So f y
I okay, Um. It's called midnight death. You have worked
right midnight death. There's a reason they call it. Midnight
(12:58):
is a deadline, literally line. You have worked years to
be successful in your father's business. You felt you were
obligated to take over, as he worked his whole life
to build the business left to him by his father. However,
the large businesses in town have seriously cut into profits,
and for several years you and your family have just
managed to scrape by. Your father's health has declined and
(13:22):
he has been hospitalized. He has a substantial life insurance
policy that expires at midnight. If he dies before midnight,
you will inherit enough money to pursue a career you
have always dreamed of and provide adequately for your family.
Do you There's three options. Number one, pinch the oxygen line,
(13:42):
making it making it possible for your dad to die
or smother him with a pillow. That is one of
the options for God. So I'm telling you this one,
This one just like sent me over the edge. But
this is but this is our morality. But let's keep
going like because it's everybody's in different situations. Number two
is tell your dad the problem and let him suggest
(14:03):
a solution and go by what he says. Interesting. Option
number three is do nothing, as you cannot imagine living
with yourself if you terminate your dad's life. Okay, I'm
not a killer, I'm really not. I mean, like that's
a that's a big thing for me in my life.
Well but no, but for real life. But even you know,
(14:25):
with all the Second Amendment talking guns and all this
kind of stuff, we've talked about guns before. We all
know I have some drama attached it from a previous life.
But that aside, I really like my mission on this
planet is to not take another another life. It's just
isn't money isn't worth it? Money? Like you can figure
out how to make money in one way or the other.
You do not need to do that. You know, like
(14:47):
that to me isn't even a moral dilemma. That is
just like it wouldn't even cross my mind. But it
is a moral dilemma that they pose in this because
you know, there are people who worry in part because
I don't have kids, right Like, I don't think of out.
I don't have to care for children and feed them
and provide and all that kind of stuff. Um, but
I could see there it could be one right, Yeah,
(15:09):
and you know again, I think I think there's a
fourth way. What's the fourth wife. Well, if there's really
you know, bigger companies around, sell out to one of them,
take the cash and start your second career. Yeah right,
I mean I think that's a good one. That's a
(15:30):
good one, sure, but that's something we choices. My choices
is first of all, first of all, the second the
second choice is not a choice. I mean, first of all,
if someone's that close to to the end, they're not
usually very coherent and and what the hell is he
going to do about it anyhow? Okay, so I got
I got six hours to figure out how to get
(15:51):
the hell out of here. Like, you know, that's not
really so it's like getting permission to kill someone. I mean,
it's like you don't you know, no one's gonna say that. Yeah,
take me out. I'm good. You know people did. That's
not how people live or how people die. But anyhow,
so that's kind of lame. But um, okay, I haven't
not lame one. Next, okay, because this one I think.
(16:12):
I think this one is tough for some people. It's
called telling a secret. It's short. Um, your your friend
tells you they committed a crime. I say this because
I was in high school in Oklahoma and this did
happen to me. Your friend tells you they committed a crime.
They explain, Yeah for real they yeah, I mean not
(16:33):
like murdering kind of crimes. But you know, they explained
that they are having trouble sleeping at night and feel
you're the only one they can trust with their confession.
A few days later, you read in the paper that
someone has been arrested for your friends friends crime. Do
you okay, By the way, nobody ever got arrested for
any of my dipship friends. Um do you one? They
(16:57):
didn't not nothing aware of believe Um. Number one, do
you go to the police and tell them what you know?
Number two? Encourage your friend to confess and warm him.
Warn him I'm going to say or her. If he
she they does not do so, you will tell. Number
(17:17):
three is say nothing, because you will not betray a
friend's confidence. See, I think this is a good one
though I really do well for me personally, I am
the holder of many secrets, none illegally that I know
of some who get close to the line. I'm not
(17:40):
kidding the line baby walking exactly, and you know as
as a reverend that that's not I'm not here to
judge people. Christ I mean. So, it's so that the
number I believe in the second option it was actually
collapsed to options which is listened to your friend, encourage
(18:01):
them to search their conscious and find the way forward.
But the whole threatened to go to the police. Otherwise
that doesn't belong in the same option. I agree with you,
and I think is a really good one. It's like,
if that scenario happens to be, like, listen, if you
want to clear your conscious, this only you can do that,
Like that is on them, but is the Yeah, But
(18:24):
I personally I think that's the I think that would
be the best scenario. And if they chose not to,
they chose not to well exactly. And the other thing
is like just having so much compassion for them because
they're obviously in pain if they're not sleeping at night,
and you know, it's only going to get worse over
the years, right, and it's not got to get less,
It's going to get worse because the body never lies, right.
(18:46):
The body is going to hold that forever, Yeah, forever.
There better paying their price than they're going to get
time of it. R. They didn't get sick, and it's
not a judgment call on them, it's just that's how
the body works. Okay, So the next one is my
all time favorite because I know people have had this
more of the limb about me, So it's called sarcastic friend.
(19:11):
I guarantee you that people have had this. Your your
friend has a great sense of humor. However, sometimes her
I'm gonna say her, they say his stupid report. However,
sometimes her jokes involved making fun of others in inappropriate ways,
done that he will point out. She will point out
(19:32):
I don't do this, as she will point out a
physical flaw or look for something odd that's not me
or different about a person and make an unkind comment
and that's definitely not me. Um. You feel uncomfortable when
your friend does this, do you say something or just
laugh along with him or they I've been caught in
this many times. Actually, I now speak up, and it's
(19:57):
used to because I'm not that's atually not me. I mean,
I'm funny, and I'm sure I say things that can
be offensive, but it's not about other people's looks and
things like that. Um. The other thing is, I think
a lot of times people are going for the giggle,
not to be mean, like they're just they're just like
making jokes like this, right, right. But you know, We've
talked about a number of these situations that I've been in,
(20:19):
um in the last couple of years. Um, whether it
was right like going to the airport taking somebody's friend
and made a terrible comment about the Hispanic family right
crossing this street and and I lost my ever living ship.
The other ones laughed along. I lost my ship and
threw out of my car. Um. You know, I've definitely UM.
(20:44):
Even when I was young, I would call people out
and they'd be like, lighting up, you're such a joke,
and I'd be like, look, just asked you to say
those things in my presence, that's all. Don't invite me
that one weird personally for me is not a Morald
Limit the stage of my life. But it has been.
It has been, and I know many other people have
(21:04):
dealt with this that sometimes you get uncomfortable and you
just kind of like what do I do? Like kind
of deer and headlights. You're different, You're you're a witchie
pooh the rest of us mortals. This has been I
think a dilemma for people about what to do. This
isn't like killing your father that's going to die for money.
This isn't those us. This is actually a very day
(21:25):
to day kind of thing. And whether it's a friend,
whether it's a sibling, a parent, a whatever it may be. Um,
that is a I think that's a real dilemma for people,
is what to do. The only thing I will say
is sometimes particularly if it's a very senior person, Um,
(21:48):
you know someone and you say, well into their eighties,
and and you understand the context of this is not
going to change anything, like when my mom had Alzheimer's. Yes, no,
there's no, there's no question I think that in a
(22:11):
midlife healthy, physically healthy situation. To me, this is not
a moral dilemma. It's an obvious thing, but I know
it is a moral dilemma to other people without a doubt,
and I think that's a very tough thing because I
think to your point is when you start to balance
these things like this is actually really good because part
of what this whole study is asking you to do
(22:32):
is ask yourself how you would do handle this, And
there's not a yes or a hundred percent no on everything.
So like in what you just brought up is a
great example. That's why adult children, when they're older parents
like go off the deep end and become right wingers.
They don't say anything because they're not going to change it,
(22:53):
and they just know it's going to cause a battle.
They it's it's they just don't do it, and that
is a moral dilemma for them because they don't win
either way, right, there's no winning. Yeah, well, this has
been a great little challenge and we're going to take
a break so you all can discuss and reflect upon
your answers. That's right, would you kill your dad? Did
(23:14):
you tell your mama to shut the funk up? For
being my goodness and welcome back, thanks every time in
your laugh every time every time. I just want to
(23:36):
say thank you Nerd for bringing these. These are interesting.
It's great. Yeah, all right, what else you got for us? Well,
this one is always fascinating to me because it's about
the value that you put on a life, on whose
life in the in where they are in life. And
this is called the lifeboat. Um it says you were
on a cruise in the ship encounters an unexpected storm.
(24:00):
By the way, clearly these were written a long time ago,
because nobody goes on cruises anymore, because they're a desk tracts.
But that's not true. I know they do. I was
just kidding, I was The storm continues to rage, and
eventually you and the other passengers are told you must
head to the lifeboats and abandoned ship. As people begin
(24:20):
to line up, you realize some lines have fewer people,
some have families, and some seem to have younger single people.
You know you are strong and capable. Do you choose
to help a group composed of three families with a
few young children, a group of seniors who obviously could
use your help, or go with the young, strong people
(24:42):
with whom you might have a better chance of survival.
I'm sorry, I'm just distracted by the Titanic, so on
going through my head right saying where you yeah so so, Um,
(25:05):
Well I'm a helper, I'll answer, I'm a helper. Yeah,
I mean I will help. But if I go down,
I go down. But if if I can help five
and lose one of me, it's I'm better with that
than I am because I could not live with myself
picking the line. If I didn't try picking the line
of the stronger ones that are capable, I would feel
(25:27):
horrible about who I was as a human. I'd rather
have a shorter life then live with that then when
that's meaningful. Right. Yeah, but I understand them more of
the lemma. Yeah, I understand because remember the definition either
choice is not a winner, right, It's just like, how
(25:50):
how does your more morality align to what your choices?
I would also understand if there was somebody who was
a parent and they had three of those kids, they're
likely going to make sure that their three kids make
it and they're safe and they're not worried about anybody
else outside of that. I get that. That's how that's why,
(26:11):
that's how, that's how it works. It has to be
how it works, right. If anything, they would you know,
because they only have two hands, they would send another
kid someplace else like they you know, someone else who
was capable of that. They trusted, you know, can you
be with this child? Like? Right? I mean you hear
stories of that all the time, whether it's at the
border or in a disaster or something. Right, yeah, go ahead.
(26:38):
It was just recently there was a it was a
veteran stay right, And so there was a story where
someone in Iraq when when they were pulling out of
Iraq a year ago, um soldiers on the ground and
they it was just sheer mayhem, right, and they a
(27:00):
m Someone threw a bag over the fence and the
soldier just assumed it was a bomb in a bag,
and so he caught the bag to keep it from
falling out on the ground and exploding. Like what mindset
is that. That's not even a moral dilemma, that's just
sheer insanity in my mind obviously to be trained like that.
(27:20):
And when he when it landed in his arms, he
knew it wasn't a bomb because it was a child
in a bag. Because someone was so desperate to save
their child, they threw this child over the fence into
the U S territory like it was us control territory anyhow.
It's just I mean, but that so an, that's what
(27:42):
that brought up into my mind. Wow, Well, I was
going to go to a lighter topic. He went really heavy.
I'm gonna okay, and what we don't all know we
faced this. Are you ready? Yes, a friend gives you
a gift for your birthday. Unfortunately it is a type
of perfume you are extremely allergic to. Do you say
(28:06):
something and ask for a receipt to return it or
keep it quiet? It's a more dilemma anyway, slice or dice.
More dilemmas come with life and death scenarios. They also
come with scenarios like this. I would never say anything
because the the idea of the gift has been received,
(28:29):
which is exactly exactly pass it along. I'll tell a
personal story about that. So the first, the first time
I met the second time I met David Um, I
was sick and I had had the flu, and I
wasn't contagious at this point, but I was still not.
(28:49):
And he was visiting friends in town and they came
for reading, and so I got up. I had to
reschedule the reading by a couple of days, but eventually
I got out of bed, did reading for them, and
basically went back to bed for two more days. And
he was so grateful that he went to my friend's
house and made chicken soup for me and brought it
over so I would feel better. Well, of course, the
(29:10):
chicken soup had onions in it, and I'm allergic onions,
and chicken soup has onions, said it? Well, it did
when that one did? Yeah, and so so I just
gave the soup to my neighbors who had children, and
you know it was fine, right, um. And you know
we were probably dating for five years where he's like,
you never rate that soup? Did you? Oh? That's funny, Like, hell, no,
(29:34):
I was sick already. I didn't. It's really funny because
you're right. When it comes to gifts, it's like the
intention of the gifts has it's already been received, no
matter what it may be, right, right, I completely agree
with you. Um. So here's one I have faced sadly
multiple times in my life. When making a purchase at
(29:57):
a local store, you're given too much change. Do you
say something or keep quiet? I would never say something
because I would never notice I know you wouldn't because
you're not a counter. I don't care. I mean, it's
like it's a rounding here. I've given it back every time,
every every Oh. Absolutely, yeah, I will absolutely give it back.
(30:21):
But I'll also I have no wishes of saying if
they gave, if they under if they short changed me,
So where's my pennies? I want my pennies? Well it's no,
it's mainly bills if I go after that. But it's
like because and there have been cases in Susanne and
I don't remember the exact situation, but there was actually
(30:41):
a merchant. I think we're living in l A if
I'm not mistaken, and um it was the person who
was working the register. I think they were intentionally shorting
people and pocketing the money, and so right that that's
a real thing too, that happens, and so on the
flip side of it, I will absolutely say something because
that's not right either, and I will and I will
(31:02):
definitely bring it up, but I will always give it
back because it's about balance, right. Well, I also think
it's going to mess up their drawer at the end
of the night. Well, if they're pocketing money, then that's different. Well,
that's the thing. If they give me five dollars less,
but they begin in everybody five dollars less all day,
then that doesn't mess up their register. And clearly it
would mess it up if they gave you too much.
(31:23):
And I also know, because I've worked a register before,
um um, I know that I'm liable for that. And
you know, I worked at quick Stop two in Mama,
Oklahoma seven and I'd count that damn change every night
to make sure it was right. I'd count the drawer
(31:44):
so very well, aware of what can happen. However, you
know it's again, it is only my moral compass is
not anybody else's, It's mine. And my moral moral compass
is I never want anything I am not entitled to,
you know, like I'm entitled to the proper change. I'm
not entitled to too much change, So I give it
(32:04):
back like that's but that's just been this is born
this way kind of thing. Like I've never considered keeping
it before. Now I can understand there are people who will.
There are people like, oh, your mistake, I win. Yeah,
And I have to say I think your mama being
a cp A may have influenced that just a bit,
(32:25):
I think, is she telling you that she totally is,
isn't she? I knew it? British shaking her head up
and down. That my mother, my mom. This is a
three way like podcast. Now if you noticed, Mom came
swoops in all the time. She's frandomly well. And her
point is how we grow up in the context in
which we grow up matters. Yes, it does, and it's
(32:47):
not a reflection good or bad. It just matters. It's
just part of the equation that could. Yeah, you know,
Mom wasn't somebody to ever take something that wasn't hers.
That just wasn't her nature. She would rather live without
it than to accept something that wasn't hers. Yeah, and
that's that's how you got to where that's right exactly.
So these some of these questions are even I'm like, wait,
(33:08):
that's there's a more the limit here, you know, Like
I understand that, but these are important for people to
ask themselves these things, right, Like, there's some that and
I also know we have some really delightful, kind hearted listeners.
So this one's for you. Your lunch keeps missing at work,
you are pretty sure you know who was taking it.
(33:31):
Each day, do you confront them reported to your supervisor.
HR get them back by making a cat food sandwich
or just keep quiet. It says cat food sandwich. I
didn't make that up, although I would have made it up,
but I didn't. This is a new kind of cat fishing, right.
This isn't cat food sandwich. Um, this is real. I
(33:53):
had a roommate that used to take all the food,
two of them. I definitely had this happen at work.
What I did. By the way, my college roommate she
kept eating all my mate tuna fish salad or chicken
salad or something just easy to eat off of for
the week, and she ate every I mean like one
day it was gone. So I started putting palepina peppers
(34:14):
in it. And she's like, Wow, you've really gotten into
jalapenas lately. I'm like, I know, I love him. She
has she's I really can't stand in there two spices.
I'm like, oh, which I knew, But it was like
my way of stopping it because we're roommates. I didn't
want to have a battle. That's one way to give it, right.
But if you're at work and something like this is persistent,
(34:36):
you know, um, and it can get costly for you too,
because if you made something you brought it in, then
you have to go buy lunch, and you know the
things that up. I mean, what would you do? Mhm
I had that situation. Well, we're gonna put you in it.
That's what these questions are for, so you had I
clearly have dealt with like a lot of stupid little
bullshit in my life. So for all of these, uh,
(35:00):
I don't know what I would do. Um, put a
post it note on it that says you know who
you are. Oh my god, that's hilarious. Thank you for
not taking my lunch today. That's really funny. Or make too,
I'll make I'll make one for you tomorrow or something
I don't know. I don't know, maybe variations on that.
That's really funny. Okay, have we had enough questions? We
(35:23):
have any time for anymore? I think we did great?
Did we? Okay? Yeah? We hope you enjoyed just being
in these questions with us and navigating and you know,
just hopefully it strikes some interesting conversations beyond this podcast
as you reflect and maybe giggle a little bit. It
was like, oh, yeah, that's I still don't know what
(35:43):
to do. Or yeah, that's not a problem for me. Well,
it's and I think it's also Like you said, I
think it can be geographic, cultural, socio economic, the life
stage that you're in, the suation that you're in right
the context of it um. And I think as you
go through those these questions, if you choose to re
(36:05):
listen to this podcast, I hope you do, and I
hope you actually take some notes about them, is that
ask yourself some of these questions under different circumstances than
where you are today. And I think that's how you
really find out more about who you are. Like I've
been through all these I answered all of them, of course,
because I'm a nerdy elf. And I think it's always
(36:26):
important to always trying to check in to see where
your moral compass is, to see where you sit in
that day. And I think you're right brand about you know,
not casting judgment. This isn't casting judgment on anybody else.
It's more about you. This is an inside job, folks,
if you care enough about it, I think you can
go google um moral dilemma questions and there's a slew
(36:47):
of them out there. These are just the ones that
I chose. There's a lot of them that exist um
and may be familiar and some may not. I think
also just from you know, spiritual I a sercise and
in conversation or maybe just reflection yourself when someone chose
a different option, how you can stretch your heart space
(37:10):
to hold with compassion their valid choice m hm. And
like saving the kids, like whether it's Sophie choice or
the situation at the at the remote beach house kind
of thing that's a no win no matter what, because
it is it is. I'd get them both in though
I know i'd get them. I think you, I think
you could save them both. And if my mom wants
(37:33):
to swoop back in, she taught me how to swim,
so she would actually say, you could get them both.
What's wrong with you, child? Yeah, there's no doubt with
your power, no problem. Yeah, just send me. But these
are But but again you might have to because when
you first start to save both, you may end up
only being able to save one. Right, Like there's all
(37:54):
those things that you may say both of them end
up dying, Like that can happen, and that happens to
it happened at the happens all the time, right, lots
ofs riptides are just scary scary alright, I think we
have covered it lots more dilemmas. Thank you, my alf,
my nerdy ol. Thanks were showing up and doing the
leg work, and thanks for listening. And remember our school
(38:17):
is hard without the other side. Thank you all, Hi,
thank you for joining us everyone, and a special thanks
to our producer Joey pat and our executive producer Maya
Cole Howard, who guides us well we guide you. Hit
(38:39):
us up on Instagram at other Side Guides, or shoot
us a note at high h I at vibes dot store.
We want to know what you think, We want to
know what you know, and we want to hear your stories.
And remember, our school is hard without the other side.
Insider's Guide to the other Side is a production of
I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio,
(39:03):
visit the I heart Radio app, Spotify, Apple podcast, or
wherever you get your podcasts. M
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