July 27, 2022 • 31 mins
Many of you live your life in the pursuit of Joy. Yet, you can only experience it after you've felt opposing emotions.
It may seem contradictory, but sadness and anger are the on-ramps to Joy. And... you can seek out more Joy in your every day. In fact, it's an integral part of living a life of conscious, spiritual flow and awareness. You already know there's not much you can control in your external world, and we all need the reminder that our inner world is where Joy can be found—even when you're swimming against chaos.
Join us today as we discuss how to recover from bad times, stay calm during trying times, and find healthy ways to invite more Joy in.
Because Earth School is hard, without the high-vibe frequency Joy brings.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of My Heart Radio. Hi y'all, I'm Julie. Hi there,
I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the other Side.
Now you all need to know that we are obsessed
with everything on the other side. Yes, we are, because
(00:21):
once you learn to navigate the energetic, or to some
the invisible world, life is going to be more fun
and much more serene. Heck, yes it can, because let's
be honest, Brian, Earth School is hard. In fact, you
taught me that, let's crush Earth School together. Well, hello,
(00:42):
my witchie pooh, have I got a word of the
day for you? Bring it? What's your word of the day. Well,
everybody probably knows because it's on the description for this
particular show. But the word of the day is joy, right,
as in the Dish soap, as in the joy Let Club,
(01:06):
as in the movie Joy. Yeah, we made that movie. Um,
I can't help it. It's in my blood. And you
know we pick well, you know, I love our word
of the Day episodes, and we've gotten a lot of
feedback that others you know, really enjoyed as well. And
(01:29):
we normally you know, so far I say, normally, we've
don't like what three of them? Um, it's weird, but
we're you know, we we choose words that are not
in our day to day vernacular, right, but they're not
in yours. I have to say, they're mostly in mind. Okay,
but you're not normal so in all and I say
that with every ounce of love in every cell in
(01:50):
my body, you're not. Most people don't talk about reverence
every day. I mean, come on, I think they don't.
Unless you are Brenda or Prey. You do not talk
about reverence, right, I don't know. I think, alright, well,
okay everybody, But I want I want to pull I
want people to tell us that they use words show hands.
(02:13):
Do you use reverence every day? No? You don't. So
so joy was I think even though it's a common word,
it is easily spelled and pronunciated, it's a little word.
It's a little word. It's like it's a pocket word.
You know, it's like right there with you. But I
(02:35):
think that it is extraordinarily complicated because it's like people
talk about feeling joyful or finding joy like. Joy is
a word used a lot, and it is usually in
the pursuit of and I just thought it would be
I think, really helpful to talk about. And of course,
(02:56):
in you know my elfin former Hollywood way is one
thing that one of the reasons too. And I can't
help it because one of my favorite animated movies is
Inside Out, and I love that movie too, right, I
mean just it was I think one of the most
brilliant so animated movies of all time, so so thoughtful,
(03:18):
so clever, so clever, and in the lessons, right, the
lessons from it and how they did it was exquisite.
So those of you have not seen Inside Out, No,
that was Pixar. That was a Pixar movie, and and
what I love so much about and how I thought
we could, you know, kind of kick off the conversation
(03:38):
is talking about one of the most important to me,
at least pivotal scenes or pivotal ideas of that movie,
which is a lot of attention in the movie was
on sadness, and sadness was having a hard time understanding,
and it was she was having a hard time figure
out where she fit in and what was her purpose.
(04:01):
And the purpose is you can't have joy without sadness.
How would you even know what joy was? With another.
By the way, Disney movie Beauty and the Beast, what
I love about that is, how would you ever know
beauty if you didn't see the Beast? How would you
ever know? You wouldn't, right, And so with joy it
(04:22):
has to come hand in hand with sadness. It just does.
But sadness for so many people is so hard, and
they want to reject it and they you know, and
I know I've been that way. I get it. But
it's essential for joy to be joy also uncomfortable, you know,
I have to say that sadness is is it is
(04:46):
everything from this is a drag. I don't have any
energy to soul crushing, like that's all sort of captured
in sadness, and there's so much in there. So it is.
It is uncomfortable, it can be overwhelming. It's hard to function,
and it's you know, we live in a culture where
(05:07):
the mantra is how are you I'm fine, and that
doesn't fit into that right now, it doesn't. And so
you you really feel, you know, like two standard deviations
out from the mean, and it's it's you don't feel
like you fit in and you don't feel like anyone's
gonna understand you, And um, I do think people are
(05:27):
more aware of their mental health and are developing better
language around describing it and sharing authentically. Like it's more
much more accepted today, but it's still hard. It's still hard.
It is. I completely agree with you. But so was
so was so was. Our life is hard. School is hard.
(05:48):
School is hard. And and I just know that there's
so many people that want to feel better. They want
like you know, we've also heard them, and this is
the pursuit of happiness. People the pursuit of joy, and
there are sometimes the pursuit of joy can be a
very healthy pursuit, and sometimes in that same pursuit of joy,
(06:13):
it can be really destructive, you know, whether they get
substances involved, right, you know, because people are trying, they're
looking for I need, I want to feel better. Like
I'm going to refer to another movie because I can't
help myself. It's how I communicate. It's my language, it's
my language or movies. But there was I mean it
felt like an eon ago and it was a movie
(06:35):
called Chasing the Dragon with Miss Marquis Post and it
was an after school special. It's a really great example.
I probably so many dialects in that and it's weird, right,
And of course I had to call her miss Marquis
Post because so those who don't know Marquis Post. She
was also on the sitcom Night Court f y I.
(06:57):
She was one of the attorneys. Um, I can't tell
you anything really about yesterday, but I can tell you
this stupid ship. I don't know, it's just what I record, right,
I don't. I remember everything you say and apparently every
movie and TV show I've ever seen. Um, but what's
interesting about Chasing the Dragon is I mean, it was
about heroin, and so what they talk about is the
(07:21):
first time you ever have it. The high is so high,
right that they keep trying to find it after that.
So the dragon obviously is the high, and they're chasing
this dragon. And I think people treat, and I believe
in many ways in their pursuit of happiness or joy,
they're trying to find that high. And when sometimes it's
(07:43):
that's not really like what we think joy is, doesn't
necessarily mean that's what it really is. That makes sense,
And we should probably take a break so we can
break this down for everybody and weed come back and
to talk about like well, what are you talking about,
Julie nutbags man? What do you mean? Unite court Binge Watcher,
(08:04):
Unite court Binge Watcher, Miss Marquis post call. All right,
We'll be right back everybody, and welcome back to our
joy Field episode. Oh look at you see it's so
easy to we've been look at uscut so in another
(08:27):
thing when we talk about Joy because we were just
talking in the break about you know we also have
joy guides, like they're there for us. Right, So where
are you come to? That's right? And I'll be there.
Are you really coming? Hell to the yes'? Because I
had people who showed up at Toro quass and they're like,
where's your elf? She said she was gonna be here. Well, okay,
(08:49):
surprise they didn't walk out when I said to you
weren't coming. I am the halftime entertainment. I understand. Okay,
the full time sometimes full time, But I'm not going
to teach a ship. But I will make you laugh
the whole time. I can teach you how to find
a ghost and use a pendulum really really well, um
and maybe a little mediumship, but I'm not I'm not
(09:09):
a teacher. So um so Joy, Yes, I I there
seems to be. And I wonder if this is American culture,
Western culture. I don't believe it's global culture. But we
think joy is something bigger than it. It has to be, well, right.
We think of joy as a peak experience, and it
(09:33):
can be, and for some people that's the only time
they experience it. But when you live with a level
of consciousness, when you cultivate your inner terrains and have
great compassion for yourself and spend time healing and reflecting
and rejuvenating those inner landscapes, you can realize joy is
(09:54):
available in the most intense the you know, sometimes the chaos,
the out of control, the overwhelmed. There are spaces for
joy and gratitude and deep appreciation in every moment, not
just those peak oh my god, it was a great
(10:15):
performance or oh my god, you know whatever, whatever those
peak things are that I want to scratch off lotto ticket.
Oh wait, this is me. I think it's more excitement
than joy. But but I do know who am I
to say? But but really, like I think, um, there's
(10:36):
there can be a sustained experience of joy that is
waiting and available to us all the time. And I
think an interesting way of looking at joy is even
because all of our emotions they don't they can be combined, right,
(10:57):
Like you could actually be in let's call it a
painful moment and and actually start getting your lesson of
what that moment is about and feel joy. And I
say that from my own experience without a doubt. I said,
because like my joy comes from learning, my joy comes
from um, well part of it comes from Oh thank god,
(11:19):
I don't have to do that one again. But that's
this is you know, our school is hard, and every
time you get you know, you get the lessons of
the blessings right, and it's the when you when you
get that lesson, there's so much gratitude in it, like
oh my god, that one right, it's just and that's joy.
That is joy, right, Joy and gratitude, I think for
(11:42):
me are interwoven. Yes, me too, but I I I
totally agree with you, and you know I was for
years and I still do this that I want every
chance I can to bring joy, healthy joy into my life.
In one of the ways that I do that is
through young living essential oils. There is a blend called
(12:02):
joy and I put it, I mean I put lemon
on today because I was a little tired, so I
needed to like a little pick me up. Pevermin is
good for that, and um but I normally put joy.
And I know I talked, I've talked about this before,
but it's actually called joy. It's it's literally like there's
a reason, Yeah, you put it in your hair. I
(12:22):
put it on my heart. But yeah, because I can
smell it because my hair is long and it falls
in my face, so I get a whiff of joy
all the time. Um. So it's it's that, but there
is a pursuit. And but it's also even if I
don't feel it, I don't feel like I failed either.
And that's part of the pressure I think that a
(12:43):
lot of people put on, like I'm just not happy enough.
I just don't have enough joyful moments. I just you know,
I've heard people say this, never heard people say that.
I have absolutely have actually have absolutely When people will
be honest, they will absolutely tell you it's like I
just don't feel the joy that I want to feel.
And you can also see I mean I'm gonna I
(13:05):
have noticed it a lot, and some of our our
aging loved ones that's this makes a lot of sense right,
because there is a almost a panic of failure. I've
missed the opportunity, right and and and that creates a
(13:26):
panic and it's really hard to have panic joy at
the same time. Yes, and I think that's why. I
it's I think that's why it's the top of my
head more than it's ever been. Is. I think that
is it's our it's our aging loved ones. And you know,
I think they're having a hard time. You know, we've
we've spent time and we were talking about how the
kids are not all right. You know, we had that episode.
(13:46):
Our seniors are not all right either. No, Yeah, I
think when we can really embrace I think some of
the disconnect on the pathway to joy is when we
think the external circumstances have to be a certain way,
and that includes people in our lives. Well, when he
blah blah, you know, gets to be able to do
(14:09):
this the way I want it, or she finally stops
doing this the way I want it, like nagging, whatever,
there's a thousand things right there's you know, that's when
I'll be joyful or that's when I'll be happy as
opposed to really knowing the only path to joy is
an inside job. And that's the good news and the
bad news. Right. The thing that prevents you from joyful
(14:32):
you are in complete control of. If it's based on
an external circumstances, well, when I get that house, or
when I get that job, or when I have whatever
it is, um whatever that. If it's based on external circumstance,
you can't control it. But when it's based on internal
you are in complete. It's completely accessible to you completely.
You don't have to do anything, you don't have to
(14:52):
qualify for it. You can just cultivate it. You can
just keep clearing the pathway. Oh, look at me pretending
that's the reason why I don't have joy. Look at me,
Look at the letting this thing irritate me and lowering
my frequency. What we're talking about is frequency, right, If
our emotions and joy is a high frequency, Joy, appreciation, gratitude,
these are all higher frequencies. Honoring, you know, all of
(15:17):
those things brings joy, Understanding, can bring joy of things. Right.
That was beautiful, and I think you are wholeheartedly. I
could not agree more with everything that you said. And
you know there's this like I'm just gonna go into
one of the weird places that I found joy. Weird, Well,
(15:37):
it is weird, something you really want to share. Funny
you usually know, but this is fun. But what's interesting, though,
is and I've noticed, because you know the world has
been upside down, right, you can't lie, And I have
noticed that when I can move, So everybody imagine a
hurricane over their head and move out of the winds
(16:00):
and go into the center. And there's interestingly joy for
me there. And because the joy is I know I'm
not miserable in the winds, I'm not being thrown around,
so I can actually sit there and be joyful of Okay,
I moved out of it. I'm now in this space
(16:21):
and I can actually think and I can actually enjoy
things because when you are whipping around in the winds,
it is pureful on survival. And you're in charge of
that too, right, like that's an inside job as well.
You're in charge of moving. And again you don't have
to wait for permission, You don't have to qualify your
decision to move. You can make that call all on
(16:44):
your own and it can be I'm going to move
into the middle, and for just a couple of breaths,
it could be until you guys calm down and stop
being you know, chaos whatever it is like, it's you
can just make that choice. You can and again in
making that choice, it's also like a yea for ye
(17:05):
for me. I got that at our school lesson, because
goodness knows, I've been and you know, whipped around in
the outer edges of the bands of the tornado or
the hurricane or whatever metaphor you want to use. We've
all been there. It's exhausting. And even when you quote
unquote win, it's still exhausting the whole time because the recovery,
So I mean, that's the thing, and oh my god,
(17:28):
the apple I mean, clearly, when did I have both
been there? Because we're both like holy craph because it is.
The recovery is intense. The recovery can also be when
you are whipping around in the wind like that, you know,
you might go through a few stints of depression because
(17:51):
you're just so exhausted and can't face anything well. And
and the other thing is in that, in that chaos,
and I'm traveling at high velocities, you can get hurt
and you can hurt others, and that can take decades
or lifetimes to to heal, just depending on how it goes,
you know, I mean yeah, and you may not be
aware of for a while either, for a couple of decades,
(18:12):
you know. Yeah. Yeah, it's intense. It's really intense. And
this is coming from someone I will speak for myself
who has been in the winds a lot in her
life and made choices to not put myself in the
winds as much, and even even privately, by the way, Brenda,
I mean yeah, I mean privately in terms of if
(18:34):
there's things going on that are you talk about the
ones that are out of your control. A lot of
that goes on with those things. How I get into
the middle is I face what's happening, which is this
is what it is now, this is where we are.
And by doing that, I'm in the middle. I am
You stay in the winds when you are angry and
going back in time, right, Nope, it's like this, I'm
(18:57):
gonna face the facts. This is what it is. When
you deny or blame, you are in the winds or
defend and you have no way to find joy. That way,
you have no way. You can't find it for the life,
you can't spell it. You can't find it, even though
it's that nice, sweet, short, simple world word that can
(19:18):
fit in our pocket. Right, you can't find it because
it gets blown out of your pocket. It gets blow
it does it gets it gets blown out of your pocket,
and so you have no reminder of it. And that's
why I think it's it is such a complicated word, right,
Like it is so complicated because there's all these other
(19:39):
these other pieces of it. It's not nearly a straightforward
I think is the one that we've talked about. You
wanna take a quick break and come back and wrap
up for everybody. Absolutely, we'll be right back, all right, everybody,
(20:00):
We are back with our joyful So during the break,
I said, I love this conversation because like when we're
talking about joy it raises a right prestion, right it does.
I mean not that you know, we were in a
bad place to start, but it's just it's just it's
all frequency, right, it's all frequency. So you said something
(20:21):
in the last segment about you know, stepping out of
the fray into the center, into the calm and b
and so you could enjoy e n J O Y
And it's really um that a slight just a slight change.
That is a practice for me, which is enjoy as
(20:45):
an I N j O Y. Right. So when you're
when I'm sitting to write an email, like I will
literally you know, think of a symbol for the day
and sit enjoy. They put myself like I put on
the oil, sitting sitting the symbol and like I need to.
(21:05):
I'm so excited to do my work. I wanted to
be conveyed through this work, through this call, through this email,
through this communication. I want people to receive that when
they receive my work. So it's intentional and it's just
a little, very small spiritual practice. But as we've talked,
joy's this tiny word that packs a blessing like it's
(21:29):
it's real and um so I to share it with
you because I think it's I love that I give
myself and my intention is to share with others. And
I think that this is you know, for everybody listening,
you know, what is your bliss to find that? You know,
it's like, what is what can you do to find
(21:51):
that moment that you can also share it? Right, Because
that's the other piece of it, Like that is if
you know, everything is energy and it is up to
us to put out the world what we want and
how we want the world to be. And I get
I get more joy taking my dog for a walk
than virtually anything because she's she's mine and I love
(22:12):
her and I'm hers right where each other's guardian. But
if I find myself kind of spinning, because I can
do that stewing and spinning, the two s is I'm
I'm a pro at low and now I'm a pro
at finding that and catching it and getting out of it.
And that's where I'll go. It's like I'm gonna go
hang out with my dog and and nothing. I mean joy,
(22:35):
like looking at the trees, the leaves, like at the
water too, I mean everything. It's just like God, look
at this magnificent place called earth where we live. Yes,
it's it's it's that's such a beautiful um, what a
beautiful practice for you? Right? And I think for most
of us, our pats, I look down at lose empty
bedge's would that be today? Punkin's not helping us. I
(22:58):
don't know where the hell siki is abandoned. Usually pets
are that because they're such a source fun, conditional love.
They are are sort of jumping point or you know,
the on ramp to joy because they have so much
joy and they literally embody joy. We look at how
happy she is to be alive. Look at her joy
(23:19):
as she goes tearing through the backyard. Just happy is
to be you know. I found it stuck, you know,
and it's the greatest stick in the world. Look mom, like,
it's just it's just such a great literally it's not
ramp to joy. It really celebrate everything. I mean, not
for nothing. Szuki celebrates every poop and he will like,
(23:41):
I mean, she does her business and then she takes
off running and she's smiling and she's twirling around. It's like,
you celebrate everything. It was taking from our four four
legged critters or three if you got one with three
who love them. You know, just when you're having that,
you know, opposite experience of joy, whether it's sadness or
(24:02):
disappointment or frustration, whatever frequency it is, you know, go
pet your dog, go pet your cat. Like just remember this,
right this is on ramped and joy, and everything's going
to be okay in this moment. I can figure out
what I have to figure out later, but right now
I just can be where I am and it's okay,
like just give yourself these these breaks, give yourself this
(24:23):
permission to to just choose something that's a little better.
And remember when when we aren't in those peak moments
or we're not in even sustained joy or contentment, like
just go for something that's a little less, you know,
because it's a die on, not a switch emotions, so
you don't go from sadness to joy. You go from
(24:45):
sadness to like, okay, that's just disappointing or I'm frustrated
right just a little. You know, these little incremental things
are very very helpful, and you can like google the
emotional scale of the the emotionals frequency or scale. Can
you can be helpful to just have those emotions laid
out for you from a low frequency to a high frequency,
(25:08):
to to give some distinctions in case you just don't
have them top of mind, like oh it's frustration higher
than or loader that. Like it's just for people who
like to really know. It's it's super helpful and give you,
which I love, like thank you, because I will go
tattoo on my forearm of that. Now let me just
(25:29):
take care where am I? And I'm sorry? Go ahead,
And I was just gonna say, like it's just a
little guide, a little roadmap that says, okay, can you
know and think of the inside out moving and think
of like the next ball falling down for you, like, okay,
now this is available to you. Now, this is available
to you, and it doesn't matter if you slide back,
because you've got a roadmap out. It's okay, absolutely because
(25:51):
you've been there before, you know where where it is
and to remember how you feel about it, right, to
remember what they feel like, so you know when there's
a shift that's happening. And I'm to go ahead and
answer a question that I know people are going to
have and they'll be like, so, what kind of crystals
can help me find joy? And I that's that's gonna
be a question. So I'm gonna go ahead and answer it.
(26:11):
And we actually have because we we support the Joyful
Heart Foundation because Katherine Gallagher is on the board and
what they do is such great work supporting and protecting
women and they've been going through their goal is to
get through all of the rape kits that have been backlogged,
to get through those for these women. And in that pouch,
(26:35):
it was very carefully selected, um we have Paradox, beautiful paradox.
That's that's in it. There's two different rose courts because
that is the unconditional love. But Parado itself brings joy.
It's such a beautiful hard stone. Oh it's incredible. I
mean it just you can feel it when you when
you hold it. And then the other one that we
got it's a little softer, but we only use it
(26:57):
in that pouch, which is the Mangano calcite. It looks
like mango, but because it comes from Peru, they call
it Mangano outsite. And it's a very soft, kind of
peachy kind of colored stone and um and and that.
Like I have one and I keep it in the
car just for the record, Yeah, just to soften everything,
(27:18):
just to soften things up. But if you're if if
everybody's wondering, that is actually available to you, and if
everybody knows, everything goes to them. I'm sorry. The name
the name of it's the Joyful Heart pouch actually and
um and actually all proceeds go to Joyful Heart Foundations.
So when you buy one, the whole lot goes to them.
(27:38):
So it's a really great way to help out other
women that need it. Um, and it's uh and and
it serves you as well. So that's I didn't plan on. Weirdly,
that just came up as you were talking about what
you do. I'm like, oh, should I should probably talk
about the Sorgi part pouch so they know that it's there.
That's so great. I love it. It's so great. It's um.
(28:00):
I don't think I have that one, but I'm definitely
gonna send it. I'm going to order it. That's awesome.
But I hope that this conversation just inspires you to
one care for your emotional state, because this is all
an inside job and you have control and access to it.
Take power, and anytime you're overly prioritizing the absolutely compelling
(28:24):
external world, sometimes we're just losing power to it. Other
times we just have to deal with it. But we
can lose our power to choose joy in every moment
when we get so distracted and prioritize that. First. The
situations that you have to engage in rapt too in
the external world, absolutely valid, But the emotional state in
which you choose to engage is your choice. Yes, it is, yeah,
(28:49):
absolutely right. And you know, if you can teach the
kids about some of the right about how can they
can find that spot? And then and then again our
older folks too. You know, they all rely on us
because we are the ones in this kind of age group,
functioning group to support everyone. And the truth is, whether
(29:12):
it's the seniors or the children, the best thing you
can do is embody it and role model it, because
when you start talking and you're behaving in a different way,
they will call your bullshit. Respectfully. They both those categories.
They know yes. They you know yes when they see it,
and they'll be like, m hmm, that's good for everyone else,
(29:34):
but why are you using it? But if you're really
in that place, they will catch it from you. Yeah,
of service, and they will get it. They will know
what that feels like if you bring it to them earnestly, honestly, genuinely. YEA,
so good, so boy. Thank you for the day, Joy,
Thank you for bringing joy to us today. Io. The
(29:56):
conversation is my pleasure. Thank you. Thanks for listening everybody,
and remember our school is hard without joy and the
other side. Ye thanks everybody, Thank you for joining us. Everyone,
(30:16):
and a special thanks to our producer Joey pat and
our executive producer Maya Cole Howard, who guides us well,
we guide you. Hit us up on Instagram at other
Side Guides, or shoot us a note at high Hi
at vibes dot store. We want to know what you think,
We want to know what you know, and we want
to hear your stories. And remember, our school is hard
(30:40):
without the other Side. Insider's Guide to the other Side
is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts
from my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Spotify,
Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of My Heart Radio. Hi y'all, I'm Julie. Hi there,
I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the other Side.
Now you all need to know that we are obsessed
with everything on the other side. Yes, we are, because
(00:21):
once you learn to navigate the energetic, or to some
the invisible world, life is going to be more fun
and much more serene. Heck, yes it can, because let's
be honest, Brian, Earth School is hard. In fact, you
taught me that, let's crush Earth School together. Well, hello,
(00:42):
my witchie pooh, have I got a word of the
day for you? Bring it? What's your word of the day. Well,
everybody probably knows because it's on the description for this
particular show. But the word of the day is joy, right,
as in the Dish soap, as in the joy Let Club,
(01:06):
as in the movie Joy. Yeah, we made that movie. Um,
I can't help it. It's in my blood. And you
know we pick well, you know, I love our word
of the Day episodes, and we've gotten a lot of
feedback that others you know, really enjoyed as well. And
(01:29):
we normally you know, so far I say, normally, we've
don't like what three of them? Um, it's weird, but
we're you know, we we choose words that are not
in our day to day vernacular, right, but they're not
in yours. I have to say, they're mostly in mind. Okay,
but you're not normal so in all and I say
that with every ounce of love in every cell in
(01:50):
my body, you're not. Most people don't talk about reverence
every day. I mean, come on, I think they don't.
Unless you are Brenda or Prey. You do not talk
about reverence, right, I don't know. I think, alright, well,
okay everybody, But I want I want to pull I
want people to tell us that they use words show hands.
(02:13):
Do you use reverence every day? No? You don't. So
so joy was I think even though it's a common word,
it is easily spelled and pronunciated, it's a little word.
It's a little word. It's like it's a pocket word.
You know, it's like right there with you. But I
(02:35):
think that it is extraordinarily complicated because it's like people
talk about feeling joyful or finding joy like. Joy is
a word used a lot, and it is usually in
the pursuit of and I just thought it would be
I think, really helpful to talk about. And of course,
(02:56):
in you know my elfin former Hollywood way is one
thing that one of the reasons too. And I can't
help it because one of my favorite animated movies is
Inside Out, and I love that movie too, right, I
mean just it was I think one of the most
brilliant so animated movies of all time, so so thoughtful,
(03:18):
so clever, so clever, and in the lessons, right, the
lessons from it and how they did it was exquisite.
So those of you have not seen Inside Out, No,
that was Pixar. That was a Pixar movie, and and
what I love so much about and how I thought
we could, you know, kind of kick off the conversation
(03:38):
is talking about one of the most important to me,
at least pivotal scenes or pivotal ideas of that movie,
which is a lot of attention in the movie was
on sadness, and sadness was having a hard time understanding,
and it was she was having a hard time figure
out where she fit in and what was her purpose.
(04:01):
And the purpose is you can't have joy without sadness.
How would you even know what joy was? With another.
By the way, Disney movie Beauty and the Beast, what
I love about that is, how would you ever know
beauty if you didn't see the Beast? How would you
ever know? You wouldn't, right, And so with joy it
(04:22):
has to come hand in hand with sadness. It just does.
But sadness for so many people is so hard, and
they want to reject it and they you know, and
I know I've been that way. I get it. But
it's essential for joy to be joy also uncomfortable, you know,
I have to say that sadness is is it is
(04:46):
everything from this is a drag. I don't have any
energy to soul crushing, like that's all sort of captured
in sadness, and there's so much in there. So it is.
It is uncomfortable, it can be overwhelming. It's hard to function,
and it's you know, we live in a culture where
(05:07):
the mantra is how are you I'm fine, and that
doesn't fit into that right now, it doesn't. And so
you you really feel, you know, like two standard deviations
out from the mean, and it's it's you don't feel
like you fit in and you don't feel like anyone's
gonna understand you, And um, I do think people are
(05:27):
more aware of their mental health and are developing better
language around describing it and sharing authentically. Like it's more
much more accepted today, but it's still hard. It's still hard.
It is. I completely agree with you. But so was
so was so was. Our life is hard. School is hard.
(05:48):
School is hard. And and I just know that there's
so many people that want to feel better. They want
like you know, we've also heard them, and this is
the pursuit of happiness. People the pursuit of joy, and
there are sometimes the pursuit of joy can be a
very healthy pursuit, and sometimes in that same pursuit of joy,
(06:13):
it can be really destructive, you know, whether they get
substances involved, right, you know, because people are trying, they're
looking for I need, I want to feel better. Like
I'm going to refer to another movie because I can't
help myself. It's how I communicate. It's my language, it's
my language or movies. But there was I mean it
felt like an eon ago and it was a movie
(06:35):
called Chasing the Dragon with Miss Marquis Post and it
was an after school special. It's a really great example.
I probably so many dialects in that and it's weird, right,
And of course I had to call her miss Marquis
Post because so those who don't know Marquis Post. She
was also on the sitcom Night Court f y I.
(06:57):
She was one of the attorneys. Um, I can't tell
you anything really about yesterday, but I can tell you
this stupid ship. I don't know, it's just what I record, right,
I don't. I remember everything you say and apparently every
movie and TV show I've ever seen. Um, but what's
interesting about Chasing the Dragon is I mean, it was
about heroin, and so what they talk about is the
(07:21):
first time you ever have it. The high is so high,
right that they keep trying to find it after that.
So the dragon obviously is the high, and they're chasing
this dragon. And I think people treat, and I believe
in many ways in their pursuit of happiness or joy,
they're trying to find that high. And when sometimes it's
(07:43):
that's not really like what we think joy is, doesn't
necessarily mean that's what it really is. That makes sense,
And we should probably take a break so we can
break this down for everybody and weed come back and
to talk about like well, what are you talking about,
Julie nutbags man? What do you mean? Unite court Binge Watcher,
(08:04):
Unite court Binge Watcher, Miss Marquis post call. All right,
We'll be right back everybody, and welcome back to our
joy Field episode. Oh look at you see it's so
easy to we've been look at uscut so in another
(08:27):
thing when we talk about Joy because we were just
talking in the break about you know we also have
joy guides, like they're there for us. Right, So where
are you come to? That's right? And I'll be there.
Are you really coming? Hell to the yes'? Because I
had people who showed up at Toro quass and they're like,
where's your elf? She said she was gonna be here. Well, okay,
(08:49):
surprise they didn't walk out when I said to you
weren't coming. I am the halftime entertainment. I understand. Okay,
the full time sometimes full time, But I'm not going
to teach a ship. But I will make you laugh
the whole time. I can teach you how to find
a ghost and use a pendulum really really well, um
and maybe a little mediumship, but I'm not I'm not
(09:09):
a teacher. So um so Joy, Yes, I I there
seems to be. And I wonder if this is American culture,
Western culture. I don't believe it's global culture. But we
think joy is something bigger than it. It has to be, well, right.
We think of joy as a peak experience, and it
(09:33):
can be, and for some people that's the only time
they experience it. But when you live with a level
of consciousness, when you cultivate your inner terrains and have
great compassion for yourself and spend time healing and reflecting
and rejuvenating those inner landscapes, you can realize joy is
(09:54):
available in the most intense the you know, sometimes the chaos,
the out of control, the overwhelmed. There are spaces for
joy and gratitude and deep appreciation in every moment, not
just those peak oh my god, it was a great
(10:15):
performance or oh my god, you know whatever, whatever those
peak things are that I want to scratch off lotto ticket.
Oh wait, this is me. I think it's more excitement
than joy. But but I do know who am I
to say? But but really, like I think, um, there's
(10:36):
there can be a sustained experience of joy that is
waiting and available to us all the time. And I
think an interesting way of looking at joy is even
because all of our emotions they don't they can be combined, right,
(10:57):
Like you could actually be in let's call it a
painful moment and and actually start getting your lesson of
what that moment is about and feel joy. And I
say that from my own experience without a doubt. I said,
because like my joy comes from learning, my joy comes
from um, well part of it comes from Oh thank god,
(11:19):
I don't have to do that one again. But that's
this is you know, our school is hard, and every
time you get you know, you get the lessons of
the blessings right, and it's the when you when you
get that lesson, there's so much gratitude in it, like
oh my god, that one right, it's just and that's joy.
That is joy, right, Joy and gratitude, I think for
(11:42):
me are interwoven. Yes, me too, but I I I
totally agree with you, and you know I was for
years and I still do this that I want every
chance I can to bring joy, healthy joy into my life.
In one of the ways that I do that is
through young living essential oils. There is a blend called
(12:02):
joy and I put it, I mean I put lemon
on today because I was a little tired, so I
needed to like a little pick me up. Pevermin is
good for that, and um but I normally put joy.
And I know I talked, I've talked about this before,
but it's actually called joy. It's it's literally like there's
a reason, Yeah, you put it in your hair. I
(12:22):
put it on my heart. But yeah, because I can
smell it because my hair is long and it falls
in my face, so I get a whiff of joy
all the time. Um. So it's it's that, but there
is a pursuit. And but it's also even if I
don't feel it, I don't feel like I failed either.
And that's part of the pressure I think that a
(12:43):
lot of people put on, like I'm just not happy enough.
I just don't have enough joyful moments. I just you know,
I've heard people say this, never heard people say that.
I have absolutely have actually have absolutely When people will
be honest, they will absolutely tell you it's like I
just don't feel the joy that I want to feel.
And you can also see I mean I'm gonna I
(13:05):
have noticed it a lot, and some of our our
aging loved ones that's this makes a lot of sense right,
because there is a almost a panic of failure. I've
missed the opportunity, right and and and that creates a
(13:26):
panic and it's really hard to have panic joy at
the same time. Yes, and I think that's why. I
it's I think that's why it's the top of my
head more than it's ever been. Is. I think that
is it's our it's our aging loved ones. And you know,
I think they're having a hard time. You know, we've
we've spent time and we were talking about how the
kids are not all right. You know, we had that episode.
(13:46):
Our seniors are not all right either. No, Yeah, I
think when we can really embrace I think some of
the disconnect on the pathway to joy is when we
think the external circumstances have to be a certain way,
and that includes people in our lives. Well, when he
blah blah, you know, gets to be able to do
(14:09):
this the way I want it, or she finally stops
doing this the way I want it, like nagging, whatever,
there's a thousand things right there's you know, that's when
I'll be joyful or that's when I'll be happy as
opposed to really knowing the only path to joy is
an inside job. And that's the good news and the
bad news. Right. The thing that prevents you from joyful
(14:32):
you are in complete control of. If it's based on
an external circumstances, well, when I get that house, or
when I get that job, or when I have whatever
it is, um whatever that. If it's based on external circumstance,
you can't control it. But when it's based on internal
you are in complete. It's completely accessible to you completely.
You don't have to do anything, you don't have to
(14:52):
qualify for it. You can just cultivate it. You can
just keep clearing the pathway. Oh, look at me pretending
that's the reason why I don't have joy. Look at me,
Look at the letting this thing irritate me and lowering
my frequency. What we're talking about is frequency, right, If
our emotions and joy is a high frequency, Joy, appreciation, gratitude,
these are all higher frequencies. Honoring, you know, all of
(15:17):
those things brings joy, Understanding, can bring joy of things. Right.
That was beautiful, and I think you are wholeheartedly. I
could not agree more with everything that you said. And
you know there's this like I'm just gonna go into
one of the weird places that I found joy. Weird, Well,
(15:37):
it is weird, something you really want to share. Funny
you usually know, but this is fun. But what's interesting, though,
is and I've noticed, because you know the world has
been upside down, right, you can't lie, And I have
noticed that when I can move, So everybody imagine a
hurricane over their head and move out of the winds
(16:00):
and go into the center. And there's interestingly joy for
me there. And because the joy is I know I'm
not miserable in the winds, I'm not being thrown around,
so I can actually sit there and be joyful of Okay,
I moved out of it. I'm now in this space
(16:21):
and I can actually think and I can actually enjoy
things because when you are whipping around in the winds,
it is pureful on survival. And you're in charge of
that too, right, like that's an inside job as well.
You're in charge of moving. And again you don't have
to wait for permission, You don't have to qualify your
decision to move. You can make that call all on
(16:44):
your own and it can be I'm going to move
into the middle, and for just a couple of breaths,
it could be until you guys calm down and stop
being you know, chaos whatever it is like, it's you
can just make that choice. You can and again in
making that choice, it's also like a yea for ye
(17:05):
for me. I got that at our school lesson, because
goodness knows, I've been and you know, whipped around in
the outer edges of the bands of the tornado or
the hurricane or whatever metaphor you want to use. We've
all been there. It's exhausting. And even when you quote
unquote win, it's still exhausting the whole time because the recovery,
So I mean, that's the thing, and oh my god,
(17:28):
the apple I mean, clearly, when did I have both
been there? Because we're both like holy craph because it is.
The recovery is intense. The recovery can also be when
you are whipping around in the wind like that, you know,
you might go through a few stints of depression because
(17:51):
you're just so exhausted and can't face anything well. And
and the other thing is in that, in that chaos,
and I'm traveling at high velocities, you can get hurt
and you can hurt others, and that can take decades
or lifetimes to to heal, just depending on how it goes,
you know, I mean yeah, and you may not be
aware of for a while either, for a couple of decades,
(18:12):
you know. Yeah. Yeah, it's intense. It's really intense. And
this is coming from someone I will speak for myself
who has been in the winds a lot in her
life and made choices to not put myself in the
winds as much, and even even privately, by the way, Brenda,
I mean yeah, I mean privately in terms of if
(18:34):
there's things going on that are you talk about the
ones that are out of your control. A lot of
that goes on with those things. How I get into
the middle is I face what's happening, which is this
is what it is now, this is where we are.
And by doing that, I'm in the middle. I am
You stay in the winds when you are angry and
going back in time, right, Nope, it's like this, I'm
(18:57):
gonna face the facts. This is what it is. When
you deny or blame, you are in the winds or
defend and you have no way to find joy. That way,
you have no way. You can't find it for the life,
you can't spell it. You can't find it, even though
it's that nice, sweet, short, simple world word that can
(19:18):
fit in our pocket. Right, you can't find it because
it gets blown out of your pocket. It gets blow
it does it gets it gets blown out of your pocket,
and so you have no reminder of it. And that's
why I think it's it is such a complicated word, right,
Like it is so complicated because there's all these other
(19:39):
these other pieces of it. It's not nearly a straightforward
I think is the one that we've talked about. You
wanna take a quick break and come back and wrap
up for everybody. Absolutely, we'll be right back, all right, everybody,
(20:00):
We are back with our joyful So during the break,
I said, I love this conversation because like when we're
talking about joy it raises a right prestion, right it does.
I mean not that you know, we were in a
bad place to start, but it's just it's just it's
all frequency, right, it's all frequency. So you said something
(20:21):
in the last segment about you know, stepping out of
the fray into the center, into the calm and b
and so you could enjoy e n J O Y
And it's really um that a slight just a slight change.
That is a practice for me, which is enjoy as
(20:45):
an I N j O Y. Right. So when you're
when I'm sitting to write an email, like I will
literally you know, think of a symbol for the day
and sit enjoy. They put myself like I put on
the oil, sitting sitting the symbol and like I need to.
(21:05):
I'm so excited to do my work. I wanted to
be conveyed through this work, through this call, through this email,
through this communication. I want people to receive that when
they receive my work. So it's intentional and it's just
a little, very small spiritual practice. But as we've talked,
joy's this tiny word that packs a blessing like it's
(21:29):
it's real and um so I to share it with
you because I think it's I love that I give
myself and my intention is to share with others. And
I think that this is you know, for everybody listening,
you know, what is your bliss to find that? You know,
it's like, what is what can you do to find
(21:51):
that moment that you can also share it? Right, Because
that's the other piece of it, Like that is if
you know, everything is energy and it is up to
us to put out the world what we want and
how we want the world to be. And I get
I get more joy taking my dog for a walk
than virtually anything because she's she's mine and I love
(22:12):
her and I'm hers right where each other's guardian. But
if I find myself kind of spinning, because I can
do that stewing and spinning, the two s is I'm
I'm a pro at low and now I'm a pro
at finding that and catching it and getting out of it.
And that's where I'll go. It's like I'm gonna go
hang out with my dog and and nothing. I mean joy,
(22:35):
like looking at the trees, the leaves, like at the
water too, I mean everything. It's just like God, look
at this magnificent place called earth where we live. Yes,
it's it's it's that's such a beautiful um, what a
beautiful practice for you? Right? And I think for most
of us, our pats, I look down at lose empty
bedge's would that be today? Punkin's not helping us. I
(22:58):
don't know where the hell siki is abandoned. Usually pets
are that because they're such a source fun, conditional love.
They are are sort of jumping point or you know,
the on ramp to joy because they have so much
joy and they literally embody joy. We look at how
happy she is to be alive. Look at her joy
(23:19):
as she goes tearing through the backyard. Just happy is
to be you know. I found it stuck, you know,
and it's the greatest stick in the world. Look mom, like,
it's just it's just such a great literally it's not
ramp to joy. It really celebrate everything. I mean, not
for nothing. Szuki celebrates every poop and he will like,
(23:41):
I mean, she does her business and then she takes
off running and she's smiling and she's twirling around. It's like,
you celebrate everything. It was taking from our four four
legged critters or three if you got one with three
who love them. You know, just when you're having that,
you know, opposite experience of joy, whether it's sadness or
(24:02):
disappointment or frustration, whatever frequency it is, you know, go
pet your dog, go pet your cat. Like just remember this,
right this is on ramped and joy, and everything's going
to be okay in this moment. I can figure out
what I have to figure out later, but right now
I just can be where I am and it's okay,
like just give yourself these these breaks, give yourself this
(24:23):
permission to to just choose something that's a little better.
And remember when when we aren't in those peak moments
or we're not in even sustained joy or contentment, like
just go for something that's a little less, you know,
because it's a die on, not a switch emotions, so
you don't go from sadness to joy. You go from
(24:45):
sadness to like, okay, that's just disappointing or I'm frustrated
right just a little. You know, these little incremental things
are very very helpful, and you can like google the
emotional scale of the the emotionals frequency or scale. Can
you can be helpful to just have those emotions laid
out for you from a low frequency to a high frequency,
(25:08):
to to give some distinctions in case you just don't
have them top of mind, like oh it's frustration higher
than or loader that. Like it's just for people who
like to really know. It's it's super helpful and give you,
which I love, like thank you, because I will go
tattoo on my forearm of that. Now let me just
(25:29):
take care where am I? And I'm sorry? Go ahead,
And I was just gonna say, like it's just a
little guide, a little roadmap that says, okay, can you
know and think of the inside out moving and think
of like the next ball falling down for you, like, okay,
now this is available to you. Now, this is available
to you, and it doesn't matter if you slide back,
because you've got a roadmap out. It's okay, absolutely because
(25:51):
you've been there before, you know where where it is
and to remember how you feel about it, right, to
remember what they feel like, so you know when there's
a shift that's happening. And I'm to go ahead and
answer a question that I know people are going to
have and they'll be like, so, what kind of crystals
can help me find joy? And I that's that's gonna
be a question. So I'm gonna go ahead and answer it.
(26:11):
And we actually have because we we support the Joyful
Heart Foundation because Katherine Gallagher is on the board and
what they do is such great work supporting and protecting
women and they've been going through their goal is to
get through all of the rape kits that have been backlogged,
to get through those for these women. And in that pouch,
(26:35):
it was very carefully selected, um we have Paradox, beautiful paradox.
That's that's in it. There's two different rose courts because
that is the unconditional love. But Parado itself brings joy.
It's such a beautiful hard stone. Oh it's incredible. I
mean it just you can feel it when you when
you hold it. And then the other one that we
got it's a little softer, but we only use it
(26:57):
in that pouch, which is the Mangano calcite. It looks
like mango, but because it comes from Peru, they call
it Mangano outsite. And it's a very soft, kind of
peachy kind of colored stone and um and and that.
Like I have one and I keep it in the
car just for the record, Yeah, just to soften everything,
(27:18):
just to soften things up. But if you're if if
everybody's wondering, that is actually available to you, and if
everybody knows, everything goes to them. I'm sorry. The name
the name of it's the Joyful Heart pouch actually and
um and actually all proceeds go to Joyful Heart Foundations.
So when you buy one, the whole lot goes to them.
(27:38):
So it's a really great way to help out other
women that need it. Um, and it's uh and and
it serves you as well. So that's I didn't plan on. Weirdly,
that just came up as you were talking about what
you do. I'm like, oh, should I should probably talk
about the Sorgi part pouch so they know that it's there.
That's so great. I love it. It's so great. It's um.
(28:00):
I don't think I have that one, but I'm definitely
gonna send it. I'm going to order it. That's awesome.
But I hope that this conversation just inspires you to
one care for your emotional state, because this is all
an inside job and you have control and access to it.
Take power, and anytime you're overly prioritizing the absolutely compelling
(28:24):
external world, sometimes we're just losing power to it. Other
times we just have to deal with it. But we
can lose our power to choose joy in every moment
when we get so distracted and prioritize that. First. The
situations that you have to engage in rapt too in
the external world, absolutely valid, But the emotional state in
which you choose to engage is your choice. Yes, it is, yeah,
(28:49):
absolutely right. And you know, if you can teach the
kids about some of the right about how can they
can find that spot? And then and then again our
older folks too. You know, they all rely on us
because we are the ones in this kind of age group,
functioning group to support everyone. And the truth is, whether
(29:12):
it's the seniors or the children, the best thing you
can do is embody it and role model it, because
when you start talking and you're behaving in a different way,
they will call your bullshit. Respectfully. They both those categories.
They know yes. They you know yes when they see it,
and they'll be like, m hmm, that's good for everyone else,
(29:34):
but why are you using it? But if you're really
in that place, they will catch it from you. Yeah,
of service, and they will get it. They will know
what that feels like if you bring it to them earnestly, honestly, genuinely. YEA,
so good, so boy. Thank you for the day, Joy,
Thank you for bringing joy to us today. Io. The
(29:56):
conversation is my pleasure. Thank you. Thanks for listening everybody,
and remember our school is hard without joy and the
other side. Ye thanks everybody, Thank you for joining us. Everyone,
(30:16):
and a special thanks to our producer Joey pat and
our executive producer Maya Cole Howard, who guides us well,
we guide you. Hit us up on Instagram at other
Side Guides, or shoot us a note at high Hi
at vibes dot store. We want to know what you think,
We want to know what you know, and we want
to hear your stories. And remember, our school is hard
(30:40):
without the other Side. Insider's Guide to the other Side
is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts
from my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Spotify,
Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.