October 3, 2025 • 24 mins
Amy and T.J. read and react to Diddy’s 4 page, last minute letter to the judge deciding his fate later today. As we all await his official sentencing, we hear Diddy apologize for the first time since he was arrested, explain his inhumane prison conditions and humbly ask the judge for mercy. But is his sorry good enough to sway the judge?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey there, folks. It is Friday, October third. This is
the day we find out just how long Sean Diddy
Combs will spend in prison. Welcome to this episode of
Amy and TJ. As of this recording rogues, we are
just hours away hearing this morning October third. We've been
(00:22):
talking about that day two months.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
We have because it is the day, of course that
Diddy learns his fate, and so much of the world
and certainly we have. But I know many of you
listening have been following this story, this trial like never before,
and so this is the culmination, this is the ending,
This is the finale. We find out how long he
spends behind bars, and.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
For the first time, the day before now he's going
to be sentenced, we hear from him for the first time.
You well, he wrote a long I certainly would argue
it's impassioned in some parts of it, even convince to
a certain degree, a letter to the judge pleading for
(01:05):
mercy on this day, pleading for mercy. We are going
to share. I was trying to just pull excerpts, but
so much of it was compelling, and it's compelling Robes
because we have not heard from this man in a
year other than a few things. He uttered into court.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Room, and we have never heard an apology at all
until this letter. And so we're going to read some
of it for you, and we're going to discuss our
thoughts on it as we go along. But we'll begin
with how he began. I hope this letter finds you
well and in good health and spirit.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
I don't know why that jumped out. Just immediately I said, oh,
it's a pleasant no. And then you realize just how
the ugliness of everything. But that was just a pleasant
exchange and the judge it's.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Okay, maybe it's oddly polite.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
It was like that moment when he stood up in
court and thanked the judge for being good at his job. Basically,
it almost felt like he was massaging the judge or something.
He was trying to charm him into being on his side.
So anyway, that seemed simple. Then he went on to say,
first and foremost, I want to apologize and say how
sincerely sorry I am for all the hurt and pain
(02:08):
that I have caused others by my conduct. I take
full responsibility and accountability for my past wrongs. This has
been the hardest two years of my life, and I
have no one to blame for my current reality and
situation but myself. In my life, I have made many mistakes,
but I am no longer running from them.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
I am so.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Sorry for the hurt that I caused, but I understand
that the mere words I'm sorry will never be good enough,
as these words alone cannot erase the pain from the past.
It's interesting, he says, the past two years have been
the hardest of his life because he got caught, he
got arrested, he got punished, he's been in jail, But
(02:48):
my goodness, those decades leading up to it seemed pretty rough.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
In my opinion, again, I think that is what a
victim's response would be, and it might be exactly what
the judge's response would be. I don't know how much
of this matters. They have him do it, so maybe
they think it certainly can't hurt. But this, for whatever reason,
he's taking this time on the eve, like you could
(03:13):
have said a lot of this stuff. You could have
taken responsibility a long time.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
That's my issue.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
It seems good, it seems convenient, but it seems highly
motivated for personal reasons. It's highly motivated for personal gain.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Where do we ever leave room for this being sincere.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Because it shouldn't happen on the eve of the day
when the judge is deciding how long you go away
for the rest of your life, and to talk about
how hard it's been for him the past few years.
I know he's not trying to create a pity party,
but it does kind of read that way where you're thinking,
you gave these other women, according to even your own admissions,
years of hell, and now you're saying it's been hard
(03:52):
because now I've had to be forced to face my
own monstrous behavior. That doesn't feel I don't know, just
it doesn't feel like he has the perspective he needs.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
You can easily say why somebody would dismiss that as
come on, Sean, give me a break, like immediately, just
out of hand, dismiss that. It would take years of
work and examining a different life before you would even
dare try to give him another chance given some of
the atrocities.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yes, he goes on to say, over the past thirteen months,
I have had to look in the mirror like never before.
My pain became my teacher, My sadness was my motivator.
I have to admit my downfall was rooted in my selfishness.
The scene and images of me assaulting Cassie play over
and over in my head daily. I literally lost my mind.
(04:46):
I was dead wrong for putting my hands on the
woman that I loved. I'm sorry for that and always
will be. My domestic violence will always be a heavy
burden that I will have to forever carry. I don't
think that sentence worked for me very well. I'm just
going to say, like that sentence, it's going to be
his heavy burden.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
The idea I'm suggesting is just that walking around as
a domestic abuser is something just He's going to walk
around with that stain if he will.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
As he should, I think most people would say so,
yes anyway. But he does go in to say the remorse,
the sorrow, the regret, the disappointment, the shame. I honestly
feel sorry for something that I couldn't forgive someone else for.
Here's where he got me, he writes, if they put
their hands on one of my daughters. This is why
it is so hard for me to forgive myself. It
(05:34):
is like a deep wound that leaves an ugly scar.
I have always wondered, as I have heard and we
heard the testimony, and these women come forward as his victims,
talking about what he did to them, his callousness, his violence,
his physical brutality, his emotional brutality. And I kept thinking,
this is a father of two beautiful girls. How did
(05:55):
he not ever put his head in that space?
Speaker 1 (05:59):
This sounds like perspect to me.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
This does for the first time him acknowledging that if
anyone did to his daughters what he did to these
other women, he wouldn't be able to forgive unforgivable.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
I don't know, maybe there is some perspective there, but
I think to your point that might be, oh yeah,
we read this whole thing. Might be for me the
most powerful line that he has a lot of it here.
You expect, oh yeah, of course he has to say
that and do that and say that. But that was
one line that actually puts it in perspective for even
how he knows the rest of the world might see him,
(06:35):
I wouldn't forgive me either kind of a thing.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah, that one spoke to me. That part of his letter.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
This next line, here's the one that's a lot of
this was making headlines. And you see in quotes I
lost my way. He told the judge this, and I
think that's clear, and he's saying it out loud. I
wonder how long he's felt that.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yes, he said, I lost my way. I got lost
in my journey, lost in the drugs, and the excess
downfall was rooted in my selfishness. I have been humbled
and broken to my core. Jail is designed to break
you mentally, physically, and spiritually. Over the past year, there
have been so many times that I wanted to give up.
There have been some days I thought I would be
(07:14):
better off dead. The old me died in jail and
a new version of me was reborn.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Prison will change you or kill you. I choose to live.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Sounds like something from a self help book, A little
more so there, But what do you do? Do you?
It's possible you could take him at his word with
every word he says there, and if you do that
stuff sounds reasonable. It also sounds like he's suggesting that
he can contemplate it suicide.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yes, I mean that is what it sounds like. And
I do think that. Look, this can all be taken
with the sincerity that I think we all hope it
was intended with but still coupled with more punishment, because
just because he's writing this, it just feels like that
can't be the reason why he gets a significantly less sentenced.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
That's key. Is it punishment enough? You know what? You
make a good point. We'll land on that. A lot
of people will He's been punished, But has he been
punished enough? Is that what the judge has to decide?
I think so, because case he describes incredible punishment that
he has been enduring for the past two years, like
this punishment, and he goes on to describe some other
(08:27):
things we'll get into here in his own word, how
tough the jail has been, and how yes he has
been punished. Is it enough?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
The prosecution doesn't think so, and neither do his victims.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
A year in prison? Possibly? All right, he continues here, Yes,
he was talking about prison there, so, he continues. Every
day since my incarceration, as difficult as my circumstances currently are,
I have made the best of my time by reading, writing,
working out or in therapy, obtaining the tools and knowledge
to deal with my past drug abuse and anger issue.
(09:00):
I have been putting in the work and working diligently
to become the best version of myself, to ensure that
I never make the same mistakes again. Now would the
judge have already been aware of that? I mean, doesn't
the judge know what he's doing?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
And I think possibly, Actually, I didn't know that inmates
had access to therapists. I actually didn't know that. But
that's I think that's applauded. Yes, that's a great thing
to learn and to know. I didn't know that that
was something offered to them. So I do think that
that is a good step in the right direction.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
But like I said, it's just a step in the
right direction.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
And you're the timing is a problem for everybody, a
big problem. He goes on to say, I realized that
I am in a situation where no amount of money, power,
or fame can save me. Only God can save me.
My grandmother used to teach me that God makes no
mistakes and that everything he does is for your good.
I believe that a bad situation can be used for good.
(09:55):
Although this situation has been the hardest and darkest time
in my life, good things have come out of my
incarceration for starters. I am now sober for the first
time in twenty five years. Holy hell, roes, that's no
small feat. Given what we heard and described about his
(10:17):
drug use. That had to be a pretty awful time
of withdrawal and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
And oh yeah, I mean yes, when we heard all
of the testimony and certainly all of the folks who
cooperated the fact that he was I mean the amount
of drugs that he would have his assistants carry around
and go get for him and bring on board on
boats and hotels and wherever he flew. He always had
a massive stash of illegal drugs with him to numb
(10:47):
himself or at least to keep him up all night
to commit. Like that's what I'm kind of amazed by
the last two years. I get the withdrawal part of it,
and being incarcerated and losing all of your fame, wealth,
all of that, but it just seems like those years
that all preceded it, those sound like hellscapes, you know,
and the people he brought along with him to force
(11:09):
into participating with him, or at least that's what they
claim he did. That sounds like a version worse than
prison to me.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Well, he goes on talking about prison here again, talking
about how some good things come out of it, and
that he's now sober. Goes on to say, quote, I
have been trying my best to deal with my drug
abuse and anger issues and take accountability as well as
positive steps toward healing. One of the most beautiful things
I have experienced just being asked by my fellow inmates
(11:42):
to teach and mentor them. They wanted to learn what
I did to become a successful businessman. I was inspired
by their hunger and desire to learn information in order
to not only set goals, but achieve any goal and
dream that their hearts desire. What do you make of.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
That, Well, he's excited about his position of power.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Again, that's what I look at it as.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
I mean, look, that is great if he is setting
a good example and teaching inmates real life skills that
they could use when they get out of prison to
turn away from a life of crime and turn into
a life of business. But I do think it's too
It's almost like he's patting himself on the back that, see,
I'm already a mentor and now I'm giving back and
look at me doing good. So I don't know that
didn't really do anything for me. Hearing that I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
I love how you are receiving it.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
How do you take it?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Well, I know it's interesting listening to you take it
exactly how a lot of people take it. And it's
certainly a lot of victims and a lot of people
scratching their heads that he only got these two counts.
And yes, there's a lot of people who think that immediately.
You know me, I'm trying to give somebody the benefit
of the doubt all the time, and trying to see
(12:51):
if there is some sincerity in these words that we
can never ever know for sure. The thing is, it's
okay to doubt every word in here and think that
every word written is for his benefit. That was the
point of the letter.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I think that he can be sincere and still require
more punishment, more more opportunity to reflect. But I just also,
for me, that last line was almost as if he
got a little dopamine hit or a little by feeling
that sense of empowerment where he was now one of
the most beautiful things that he is teaching other people.
(13:26):
So again he got like a little hit because he
was in charge and he you know, he was leading
people and he was changing people's lives.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
So again it was that ego speaking. So I don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
I just that one little that little bit rubbed me wrong.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Okay, so you're not going like this then. It has
been beautiful to see the newfound hope in my fellow
inmates eyes, the most.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Shock he gave them. Just wanted to put that in there.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
It's not in the letter. When you hear Robot's voice,
that is commentary, not in the letter. It goes on
to say. The most shocking thing was to see the
unity and peace this class has produced. As you are
probably aware of, jails and prisons are segregated places. However,
in our class, we have black, Spanish, White Nasi all
together in one room, learning and working together. We even
(14:10):
have an interpreter for the Spanish speaking inmates. The biggest
miracle that I've seen with this class is all of
the gangs such as Bloods, Cripts, MS thirteen's and eighteen
Streets in one room working together. I am also proud
to say this that since this class started, been no
fight in our unit. This class has also helped me
(14:32):
in my time of need and despair. What do you
make of that?
Speaker 3 (14:35):
He's a leader, He's a peacemaker, he's a hope giver. Yeah, okay,
you say it's sarcastically. I did say that sarcastic.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
I wonder how the judge is going to view that line.
He's asking for mercy, and again he has to mention
his kids and his kids their mom. He is the
only parent to pay kids with Kim Kim Porter who
passed away, and he made this plea does this I mean.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I'll make the argument here that I think a lot
of people. I'll be the voice of those folks who
are looking at this through a lens of skepticism. Why
did he not think of his kids when he was
doing the things he was doing? Did he regard his
kids when he was breaking the law and being brutally
violent towards the women in his life? He was not
thinking of his kids then, But now he wants the
(15:26):
judge to think of his kids. And I do find
that to be a difficult argument given his actions for
the And it wasn't a singular event, it wasn't a mistake,
it wasn't even a brief moment in his time. This
is decades of this type of abuse being documented by
people around him.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Okay, And with that said, I'll skip that that line
about the children.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Well, no, I do think, I know, I do think
we should read it. No, because I think it's interesting
to hear what he's saying, and he can be sincere
in this, But I don't think you can ignore the
fact that he was not obviously thinking of his kids earlier.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
So stay with us. I will read the paragraph in
which he references his kids and why it's so important
that he gets home to be the father he says
they desperately need. And all right, folks, we're going to
(16:21):
continue now going over the letter that Sean Diddycombs wrote
to the judge on the eve of his sentencing, apologizing
and pleading for mercy. A part of that mercy had
to do with his kids, and continues the letter, I
ask you for mercy today, not only for my sake,
but for the sake of my children. God blessed me
with seven beautiful children, three sons and four daughters. He
(16:44):
goes on to list them all. He says, the newest
editions that two year old daughter named Love. Now four
of my children, he goes on to say, lost their mother,
Kim Porter, as she tragically passed away in twenty eighteen.
I am their only parent. I have failed my children
as a father.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I'm glad he put that out there. I think that
was an important thing to say and to acknowledge. He
goes on to say, my father was murdered when I
was three years old, so I know firsthand what it
is to not have a father. More than anything, I
just want the opportunity to return home and be the
father they need and deserve. God also blessed me with
the greatest mother in the world. My mother sacrificed her
(17:23):
life and dreams to provide for me and my younger sister.
She worked three jobs to make sure we had a
roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and the
best education. My mother is now eighty four years old
and recently had brain surgery. Despite her own health challenges,
she attended my trial every day.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
That is true.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
We watch that day in and day out. So he
goes on to say, I have always been her primary caregiver.
It breaks my heart that I put myself in this situation,
and for the first time, I am unable to be
there for my mother when she needs me most. As
I write you this letter, I am scared to death,
scared to spend and another second away from my mother
(18:01):
and my children. I no longer care about the money
or the fame. There is nothing more important to me
than my family.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
It takes something like this. Maybe it takes a lot
of loss to realize that's the case, but to hear
that's come out of his mouth, I no longer care
about money or fame. Look, some of this makes sense, yep,
to your point, nobody will accept it wholeheartedly because timing
is everything.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Timing is everything, and saying something like this after you
get caught and convicted also makes it feel a little
more hollow and a little more. People are just a
little more skeptical.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
See goes on. For over a year, I have been
locked in one room with twenty five other incarcerated people,
sharing the same one room. In this room that I share,
there are no windows, there is no natural clean air,
there is no sunlight, and we all live in one room.
We eat, sleep, use the toilet, take showers, and prepare meals,
all in the same The conditions that my actions have
(19:02):
placed me in are inhumane. I don't tell you this
for pity or sympathy. I'm simply sharing my truth and
the truth of my fellow incarcerated people. We have no
clean drinking water, and we boil our drinking water. We
also share one washing machine, which is broken. I am
surrounded by drugs and live every day with the constant
(19:25):
threat of being stabbed or losing my life again. I
am not expecting pity or sympathy, but my time at
MDC has changed me forever. I believe that I do too.
It sounded a little bit in there like he might
have been speaking up for the inmates in a moment
that he had.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Yeah, the inhumane conditions that I mean, I didn't realize
that a shock to me that inmates would have to
boil their own water. Yeah, that seems that's shocking, is
it that they wouldn't have clean drinking water?
Speaker 1 (19:56):
So it seemed like maybe he was the leader you
speak of. He had a voice and had a moment,
had a platform to maybe bring attention to it.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
So he goes on to say, I started from nothing
and worked hard to earn everything I had, But because
of my conduct, I have lost all my businesses, I
have lost my career, I lost the charter schools that
I started, and I have destroyed my reputation and stained
the reputation of those that worked for me. I lost
my being present with my family. Between all of my
losses and lessons, I can state for a fact that
(20:26):
I will never be in another criminal courtroom again, and
I do not believe any other person would do anything
similar from fear of similar punishment. If you give me
a chance, I would like the opportunity to share my
story with people, to prevent at least one person from
making the mistakes that I've made.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Like the way you put that, at least one person
on like that line. But this one, I mean, he's
begging here for another chance.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
He says.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I realized that this trial has received a tremendous amount
of global press, and your Honor may be inclined to
make an example out of me. I would ask your
honor to make me an example of what a person
can do if afforded a second chance. If you allow
me to go home to my family, I promise I
will not let you down and I will make you proud.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
What do you make of that make you proud?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
It sounds like a kid saying that to his father.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Hmm, I will not let you down and I will
make you proud. It's not just I will keep my
word to the court sounded personal and it was phrased
that way. I wonder if I wonder about every line
of this. I'm sure he was responsible for the sentiment.
How much of it he wrote and was altered and
for effect? I don't know, but that was a I
will make you proud.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Yeah, it's an interesting choice of words to a judge
who someone who isn't a family member, somebody who isn't
a constant in your life.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
He then goes on to say, today, or at least
he hopes he's not going to be today.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
I humbly ask you.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
For another chance, another chance to be a better father,
another chance to be a better son, another chance to
be a better leader in my community, and another chance
to live a better life. Writing this not to gain
any sympathy or pity. This experience is simply the truth
of my existence and has changed my life forever. And
I will never commit a crime again. Thank you for
(22:11):
your time and consideration.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Signed Sean Combs. I believe him when he says you'll
never commit a crime again. If you send him home.
I can't imagine him blowing that opportunity. You would be
the biggest bigger idiot.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
And yet we hear from Cassie Ventura Fines, who wrote
a letter saying she fears for her life if he
is let out. That he is a man that cannot change,
that he is a man that is full of retribution
and hate. So who do you believe? Whose letter do
you put more weight to?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Well, I guess your best indication of someone's future behavior
is what they've done in the past. And if you look,
who do you believe? Obviously you would not believe him,
given his history and all we have learned. Whose letter
you're going to give more weight to, not his? Is
just that's just the truth of the matter. And again
(23:01):
to your point here, and this is when it kind
of clicked for me and what you're saying. He said today,
I humbly ask you for another chance. He has it,
He's going to have it. He's not going to prison
for the rest of his life. Getting a second chance
could start in four years. It doesn't have to start immediately.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
And a lot of people don't think it should.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
So we will keep our eye on this cord hearing,
the sentencing hearing, and we will pop back on as
soon as we get word as to what happened and
what the judge's final decision is. So stay tuned. Please
check your app because actually yes, if you subscribe, it'll
pop right up. As soon as we have word. We
will get on and we will give you all the
(23:43):
information and insight we have to this fascinating trial. Really,
it's anyone's guess what's going to happen today.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
We watched every day of this trial and followed closely.
I am fascinated about this day and what we're about
to learn.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
All right, thanks, thanks for listening to us. For now,
we will talk to you real soon. I made me
Robock alongside TJ.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Holmes. Thanks for listening
Hey there, folks. It is Friday, October third. This is
the day we find out just how long Sean Diddy
Combs will spend in prison. Welcome to this episode of
Amy and TJ. As of this recording rogues, we are
just hours away hearing this morning October third. We've been
(00:22):
talking about that day two months.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
We have because it is the day, of course that
Diddy learns his fate, and so much of the world
and certainly we have. But I know many of you
listening have been following this story, this trial like never before,
and so this is the culmination, this is the ending,
This is the finale. We find out how long he
spends behind bars, and.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
For the first time, the day before now he's going
to be sentenced, we hear from him for the first time.
You well, he wrote a long I certainly would argue
it's impassioned in some parts of it, even convince to
a certain degree, a letter to the judge pleading for
(01:05):
mercy on this day, pleading for mercy. We are going
to share. I was trying to just pull excerpts, but
so much of it was compelling, and it's compelling Robes
because we have not heard from this man in a
year other than a few things. He uttered into court.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Room, and we have never heard an apology at all
until this letter. And so we're going to read some
of it for you, and we're going to discuss our
thoughts on it as we go along. But we'll begin
with how he began. I hope this letter finds you
well and in good health and spirit.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
I don't know why that jumped out. Just immediately I said, oh,
it's a pleasant no. And then you realize just how
the ugliness of everything. But that was just a pleasant
exchange and the judge it's.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Okay, maybe it's oddly polite.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
It was like that moment when he stood up in
court and thanked the judge for being good at his job. Basically,
it almost felt like he was massaging the judge or something.
He was trying to charm him into being on his side.
So anyway, that seemed simple. Then he went on to say,
first and foremost, I want to apologize and say how
sincerely sorry I am for all the hurt and pain
(02:08):
that I have caused others by my conduct. I take
full responsibility and accountability for my past wrongs. This has
been the hardest two years of my life, and I
have no one to blame for my current reality and
situation but myself. In my life, I have made many mistakes,
but I am no longer running from them.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
I am so.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Sorry for the hurt that I caused, but I understand
that the mere words I'm sorry will never be good enough,
as these words alone cannot erase the pain from the past.
It's interesting, he says, the past two years have been
the hardest of his life because he got caught, he
got arrested, he got punished, he's been in jail, But
(02:48):
my goodness, those decades leading up to it seemed pretty rough.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
In my opinion, again, I think that is what a
victim's response would be, and it might be exactly what
the judge's response would be. I don't know how much
of this matters. They have him do it, so maybe
they think it certainly can't hurt. But this, for whatever reason,
he's taking this time on the eve, like you could
(03:13):
have said a lot of this stuff. You could have
taken responsibility a long time.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
That's my issue.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
It seems good, it seems convenient, but it seems highly
motivated for personal reasons. It's highly motivated for personal gain.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Where do we ever leave room for this being sincere.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Because it shouldn't happen on the eve of the day
when the judge is deciding how long you go away
for the rest of your life, and to talk about
how hard it's been for him the past few years.
I know he's not trying to create a pity party,
but it does kind of read that way where you're thinking,
you gave these other women, according to even your own admissions,
years of hell, and now you're saying it's been hard
(03:52):
because now I've had to be forced to face my
own monstrous behavior. That doesn't feel I don't know, just
it doesn't feel like he has the perspective he needs.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
You can easily say why somebody would dismiss that as
come on, Sean, give me a break, like immediately, just
out of hand, dismiss that. It would take years of
work and examining a different life before you would even
dare try to give him another chance given some of
the atrocities.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yes, he goes on to say, over the past thirteen months,
I have had to look in the mirror like never before.
My pain became my teacher, My sadness was my motivator.
I have to admit my downfall was rooted in my selfishness.
The scene and images of me assaulting Cassie play over
and over in my head daily. I literally lost my mind.
(04:46):
I was dead wrong for putting my hands on the
woman that I loved. I'm sorry for that and always
will be. My domestic violence will always be a heavy
burden that I will have to forever carry. I don't
think that sentence worked for me very well. I'm just
going to say, like that sentence, it's going to be
his heavy burden.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
The idea I'm suggesting is just that walking around as
a domestic abuser is something just He's going to walk
around with that stain if he will.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
As he should, I think most people would say so,
yes anyway. But he does go in to say the remorse,
the sorrow, the regret, the disappointment, the shame. I honestly
feel sorry for something that I couldn't forgive someone else for.
Here's where he got me, he writes, if they put
their hands on one of my daughters. This is why
it is so hard for me to forgive myself. It
(05:34):
is like a deep wound that leaves an ugly scar.
I have always wondered, as I have heard and we
heard the testimony, and these women come forward as his victims,
talking about what he did to them, his callousness, his violence,
his physical brutality, his emotional brutality. And I kept thinking,
this is a father of two beautiful girls. How did
(05:55):
he not ever put his head in that space?
Speaker 1 (05:59):
This sounds like perspect to me.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
This does for the first time him acknowledging that if
anyone did to his daughters what he did to these
other women, he wouldn't be able to forgive unforgivable.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
I don't know, maybe there is some perspective there, but
I think to your point that might be, oh yeah,
we read this whole thing. Might be for me the
most powerful line that he has a lot of it here.
You expect, oh yeah, of course he has to say
that and do that and say that. But that was
one line that actually puts it in perspective for even
how he knows the rest of the world might see him,
(06:35):
I wouldn't forgive me either kind of a thing.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah, that one spoke to me. That part of his letter.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
This next line, here's the one that's a lot of
this was making headlines. And you see in quotes I
lost my way. He told the judge this, and I
think that's clear, and he's saying it out loud. I
wonder how long he's felt that.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yes, he said, I lost my way. I got lost
in my journey, lost in the drugs, and the excess
downfall was rooted in my selfishness. I have been humbled
and broken to my core. Jail is designed to break
you mentally, physically, and spiritually. Over the past year, there
have been so many times that I wanted to give up.
There have been some days I thought I would be
(07:14):
better off dead. The old me died in jail and
a new version of me was reborn.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Prison will change you or kill you. I choose to live.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Sounds like something from a self help book, A little
more so there, But what do you do? Do you?
It's possible you could take him at his word with
every word he says there, and if you do that
stuff sounds reasonable. It also sounds like he's suggesting that
he can contemplate it suicide.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yes, I mean that is what it sounds like. And
I do think that. Look, this can all be taken
with the sincerity that I think we all hope it
was intended with but still coupled with more punishment, because
just because he's writing this, it just feels like that
can't be the reason why he gets a significantly less sentenced.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
That's key. Is it punishment enough? You know what? You
make a good point. We'll land on that. A lot
of people will He's been punished, But has he been
punished enough? Is that what the judge has to decide?
I think so, because case he describes incredible punishment that
he has been enduring for the past two years, like
this punishment, and he goes on to describe some other
(08:27):
things we'll get into here in his own word, how
tough the jail has been, and how yes he has
been punished. Is it enough?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
The prosecution doesn't think so, and neither do his victims.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
A year in prison? Possibly? All right, he continues here, Yes,
he was talking about prison there, so, he continues. Every
day since my incarceration, as difficult as my circumstances currently are,
I have made the best of my time by reading, writing,
working out or in therapy, obtaining the tools and knowledge
to deal with my past drug abuse and anger issue.
(09:00):
I have been putting in the work and working diligently
to become the best version of myself, to ensure that
I never make the same mistakes again. Now would the
judge have already been aware of that? I mean, doesn't
the judge know what he's doing?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
And I think possibly, Actually, I didn't know that inmates
had access to therapists. I actually didn't know that. But
that's I think that's applauded. Yes, that's a great thing
to learn and to know. I didn't know that that
was something offered to them. So I do think that
that is a good step in the right direction.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
But like I said, it's just a step in the
right direction.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
And you're the timing is a problem for everybody, a
big problem. He goes on to say, I realized that
I am in a situation where no amount of money, power,
or fame can save me. Only God can save me.
My grandmother used to teach me that God makes no
mistakes and that everything he does is for your good.
I believe that a bad situation can be used for good.
(09:55):
Although this situation has been the hardest and darkest time
in my life, good things have come out of my
incarceration for starters. I am now sober for the first
time in twenty five years. Holy hell, roes, that's no
small feat. Given what we heard and described about his
(10:17):
drug use. That had to be a pretty awful time
of withdrawal and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
And oh yeah, I mean yes, when we heard all
of the testimony and certainly all of the folks who
cooperated the fact that he was I mean the amount
of drugs that he would have his assistants carry around
and go get for him and bring on board on
boats and hotels and wherever he flew. He always had
a massive stash of illegal drugs with him to numb
(10:47):
himself or at least to keep him up all night
to commit. Like that's what I'm kind of amazed by
the last two years. I get the withdrawal part of it,
and being incarcerated and losing all of your fame, wealth,
all of that, but it just seems like those years
that all preceded it, those sound like hellscapes, you know,
and the people he brought along with him to force
(11:09):
into participating with him, or at least that's what they
claim he did. That sounds like a version worse than
prison to me.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Well, he goes on talking about prison here again, talking
about how some good things come out of it, and
that he's now sober. Goes on to say, quote, I
have been trying my best to deal with my drug
abuse and anger issues and take accountability as well as
positive steps toward healing. One of the most beautiful things
I have experienced just being asked by my fellow inmates
(11:42):
to teach and mentor them. They wanted to learn what
I did to become a successful businessman. I was inspired
by their hunger and desire to learn information in order
to not only set goals, but achieve any goal and
dream that their hearts desire. What do you make of.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
That, Well, he's excited about his position of power.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Again, that's what I look at it as.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
I mean, look, that is great if he is setting
a good example and teaching inmates real life skills that
they could use when they get out of prison to
turn away from a life of crime and turn into
a life of business. But I do think it's too
It's almost like he's patting himself on the back that, see,
I'm already a mentor and now I'm giving back and
look at me doing good. So I don't know that
didn't really do anything for me. Hearing that I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
I love how you are receiving it.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
How do you take it?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Well, I know it's interesting listening to you take it
exactly how a lot of people take it. And it's
certainly a lot of victims and a lot of people
scratching their heads that he only got these two counts.
And yes, there's a lot of people who think that immediately.
You know me, I'm trying to give somebody the benefit
of the doubt all the time, and trying to see
(12:51):
if there is some sincerity in these words that we
can never ever know for sure. The thing is, it's
okay to doubt every word in here and think that
every word written is for his benefit. That was the
point of the letter.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I think that he can be sincere and still require
more punishment, more more opportunity to reflect. But I just also,
for me, that last line was almost as if he
got a little dopamine hit or a little by feeling
that sense of empowerment where he was now one of
the most beautiful things that he is teaching other people.
(13:26):
So again he got like a little hit because he
was in charge and he you know, he was leading
people and he was changing people's lives.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
So again it was that ego speaking. So I don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
I just that one little that little bit rubbed me wrong.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Okay, so you're not going like this then. It has
been beautiful to see the newfound hope in my fellow
inmates eyes, the most.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Shock he gave them. Just wanted to put that in there.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
It's not in the letter. When you hear Robot's voice,
that is commentary, not in the letter. It goes on
to say. The most shocking thing was to see the
unity and peace this class has produced. As you are
probably aware of, jails and prisons are segregated places. However,
in our class, we have black, Spanish, White Nasi all
together in one room, learning and working together. We even
(14:10):
have an interpreter for the Spanish speaking inmates. The biggest
miracle that I've seen with this class is all of
the gangs such as Bloods, Cripts, MS thirteen's and eighteen
Streets in one room working together. I am also proud
to say this that since this class started, been no
fight in our unit. This class has also helped me
(14:32):
in my time of need and despair. What do you
make of that?
Speaker 3 (14:35):
He's a leader, He's a peacemaker, he's a hope giver. Yeah, okay,
you say it's sarcastically. I did say that sarcastic.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
I wonder how the judge is going to view that line.
He's asking for mercy, and again he has to mention
his kids and his kids their mom. He is the
only parent to pay kids with Kim Kim Porter who
passed away, and he made this plea does this I mean.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I'll make the argument here that I think a lot
of people. I'll be the voice of those folks who
are looking at this through a lens of skepticism. Why
did he not think of his kids when he was
doing the things he was doing? Did he regard his
kids when he was breaking the law and being brutally
violent towards the women in his life? He was not
thinking of his kids then, But now he wants the
(15:26):
judge to think of his kids. And I do find
that to be a difficult argument given his actions for
the And it wasn't a singular event, it wasn't a mistake,
it wasn't even a brief moment in his time. This
is decades of this type of abuse being documented by
people around him.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Okay, And with that said, I'll skip that that line
about the children.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Well, no, I do think, I know, I do think
we should read it. No, because I think it's interesting
to hear what he's saying, and he can be sincere
in this, But I don't think you can ignore the
fact that he was not obviously thinking of his kids earlier.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
So stay with us. I will read the paragraph in
which he references his kids and why it's so important
that he gets home to be the father he says
they desperately need. And all right, folks, we're going to
(16:21):
continue now going over the letter that Sean Diddycombs wrote
to the judge on the eve of his sentencing, apologizing
and pleading for mercy. A part of that mercy had
to do with his kids, and continues the letter, I
ask you for mercy today, not only for my sake,
but for the sake of my children. God blessed me
with seven beautiful children, three sons and four daughters. He
(16:44):
goes on to list them all. He says, the newest
editions that two year old daughter named Love. Now four
of my children, he goes on to say, lost their mother,
Kim Porter, as she tragically passed away in twenty eighteen.
I am their only parent. I have failed my children
as a father.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I'm glad he put that out there. I think that
was an important thing to say and to acknowledge. He
goes on to say, my father was murdered when I
was three years old, so I know firsthand what it
is to not have a father. More than anything, I
just want the opportunity to return home and be the
father they need and deserve. God also blessed me with
the greatest mother in the world. My mother sacrificed her
(17:23):
life and dreams to provide for me and my younger sister.
She worked three jobs to make sure we had a
roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and the
best education. My mother is now eighty four years old
and recently had brain surgery. Despite her own health challenges,
she attended my trial every day.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
That is true.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
We watch that day in and day out. So he
goes on to say, I have always been her primary caregiver.
It breaks my heart that I put myself in this situation,
and for the first time, I am unable to be
there for my mother when she needs me most. As
I write you this letter, I am scared to death,
scared to spend and another second away from my mother
(18:01):
and my children. I no longer care about the money
or the fame. There is nothing more important to me
than my family.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
It takes something like this. Maybe it takes a lot
of loss to realize that's the case, but to hear
that's come out of his mouth, I no longer care
about money or fame. Look, some of this makes sense, yep,
to your point, nobody will accept it wholeheartedly because timing
is everything.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Timing is everything, and saying something like this after you
get caught and convicted also makes it feel a little
more hollow and a little more. People are just a
little more skeptical.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
See goes on. For over a year, I have been
locked in one room with twenty five other incarcerated people,
sharing the same one room. In this room that I share,
there are no windows, there is no natural clean air,
there is no sunlight, and we all live in one room.
We eat, sleep, use the toilet, take showers, and prepare meals,
all in the same The conditions that my actions have
(19:02):
placed me in are inhumane. I don't tell you this
for pity or sympathy. I'm simply sharing my truth and
the truth of my fellow incarcerated people. We have no
clean drinking water, and we boil our drinking water. We
also share one washing machine, which is broken. I am
surrounded by drugs and live every day with the constant
(19:25):
threat of being stabbed or losing my life again. I
am not expecting pity or sympathy, but my time at
MDC has changed me forever. I believe that I do too.
It sounded a little bit in there like he might
have been speaking up for the inmates in a moment
that he had.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Yeah, the inhumane conditions that I mean, I didn't realize
that a shock to me that inmates would have to
boil their own water. Yeah, that seems that's shocking, is
it that they wouldn't have clean drinking water?
Speaker 1 (19:56):
So it seemed like maybe he was the leader you
speak of. He had a voice and had a moment,
had a platform to maybe bring attention to it.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
So he goes on to say, I started from nothing
and worked hard to earn everything I had, But because
of my conduct, I have lost all my businesses, I
have lost my career, I lost the charter schools that
I started, and I have destroyed my reputation and stained
the reputation of those that worked for me. I lost
my being present with my family. Between all of my
losses and lessons, I can state for a fact that
(20:26):
I will never be in another criminal courtroom again, and
I do not believe any other person would do anything
similar from fear of similar punishment. If you give me
a chance, I would like the opportunity to share my
story with people, to prevent at least one person from
making the mistakes that I've made.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Like the way you put that, at least one person
on like that line. But this one, I mean, he's
begging here for another chance.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
He says.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I realized that this trial has received a tremendous amount
of global press, and your Honor may be inclined to
make an example out of me. I would ask your
honor to make me an example of what a person
can do if afforded a second chance. If you allow
me to go home to my family, I promise I
will not let you down and I will make you proud.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
What do you make of that make you proud?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
It sounds like a kid saying that to his father.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Hmm, I will not let you down and I will
make you proud. It's not just I will keep my
word to the court sounded personal and it was phrased
that way. I wonder if I wonder about every line
of this. I'm sure he was responsible for the sentiment.
How much of it he wrote and was altered and
for effect? I don't know, but that was a I
will make you proud.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Yeah, it's an interesting choice of words to a judge
who someone who isn't a family member, somebody who isn't
a constant in your life.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
He then goes on to say, today, or at least
he hopes he's not going to be today.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
I humbly ask you.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
For another chance, another chance to be a better father,
another chance to be a better son, another chance to
be a better leader in my community, and another chance
to live a better life. Writing this not to gain
any sympathy or pity. This experience is simply the truth
of my existence and has changed my life forever. And
I will never commit a crime again. Thank you for
(22:11):
your time and consideration.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Signed Sean Combs. I believe him when he says you'll
never commit a crime again. If you send him home.
I can't imagine him blowing that opportunity. You would be
the biggest bigger idiot.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
And yet we hear from Cassie Ventura Fines, who wrote
a letter saying she fears for her life if he
is let out. That he is a man that cannot change,
that he is a man that is full of retribution
and hate. So who do you believe? Whose letter do
you put more weight to?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
Well, I guess your best indication of someone's future behavior
is what they've done in the past. And if you look,
who do you believe? Obviously you would not believe him,
given his history and all we have learned. Whose letter
you're going to give more weight to, not his? Is
just that's just the truth of the matter. And again
(23:01):
to your point here, and this is when it kind
of clicked for me and what you're saying. He said today,
I humbly ask you for another chance. He has it,
He's going to have it. He's not going to prison
for the rest of his life. Getting a second chance
could start in four years. It doesn't have to start immediately.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
And a lot of people don't think it should.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
So we will keep our eye on this cord hearing,
the sentencing hearing, and we will pop back on as
soon as we get word as to what happened and
what the judge's final decision is. So stay tuned. Please
check your app because actually yes, if you subscribe, it'll
pop right up. As soon as we have word. We
will get on and we will give you all the
(23:43):
information and insight we have to this fascinating trial. Really,
it's anyone's guess what's going to happen today.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
We watched every day of this trial and followed closely.
I am fascinated about this day and what we're about
to learn.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
All right, thanks, thanks for listening to us. For now,
we will talk to you real soon. I made me
Robock alongside TJ.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Holmes. Thanks for listening
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