Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome everyone to this edition of Amy and TJ. It
is Saturday, September twenty seventh, and I happened to be
reading this amazing buzz feed article TJ. And the headline
was one sentence that can change your life.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Oh, you fell for the clickbait? You fell for it?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I did. But then, yes, they were really really good.
I think there were thirty three of them, and I
read every one of them, and I was I think
I was reading them aloud to you, and I think
I was annoying you kind of like no, yes, And
I said, you know what, you know what. I'm going
to stop because I can see you're not in the
mood for this. But this is going to be a
(00:45):
great podcast because I yes, because I actually wanted to
get your take. First of all, do you think one
sentence like hearing one thought can actually change someone's life?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Of course again absolutely again changes the life all the time.
One thought, one statement like you know I do?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Will you marry me? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
They could change everything. You're fired.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Okay, Yes, those are very practical, actionable. These are more
thought provoking, but they just get you thinking about all
the ways that we trip ourselves up. So anyway, I
picked seven of them that I thought were the best,
or the ones at least that spoke to me the most.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
What's the title again of the article seven?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
One sentence that can change your lientence that.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Can change your life?
Speaker 3 (01:34):
So am I going to agree that each of these
sentences might change my life?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I'm curious to get your take. We can see how
we both read or perceive, or just how we react
to them. But this first one I really liked, and
I think you will too.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Where these coming from? Just random?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Yes, brandom people wrote in and gay and some of
them had experiences attached to them, but they were really
cool in thought provoking. Here's the first one. Everyone you
meet knows something that you don't.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Yeah, I certainly agree with that. It's not something we
keep in mind. I don't think too often we run
into people, let's just say, even lower on the totem pole,
we don't give people that we think are beneath us
in a professional manner, in a socioeconomic manner, or a
matter of public status.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
You can't.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
You don't have anything to teach me, And we dismiss
those people too often. Man, I learned stuff from college
kids I met this weekend. Listening to them. So, yeah,
that's something we need to keep in mind. Take with you,
and that should be practiced. You shouldn't have to keep
that in mind.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I never thought about this, but how life changing is
it if instead of being judgmental or dismissive, you're curious
because you want to learn from somebody, no matter how old,
how young, whether you think you are more educated and
there you know, just have nothing to give you in
terms of intellect. If you actually flip that and always
(03:07):
considered when someone came up to you, even someone who's
annoying you, you could put this into practice for all
sorts of different people you meet that you might maybe
have a negative initial reaction to. If you just tell yourself,
I they know something I don't. Everyone you meet knows
something that you don't. It just puts perspective into place.
(03:28):
You are not the end all be all, and you
don't know everything, and we still all have so much
to learn from one another.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Even a child can teach you plenting. And now I'm
just talking about all the new slang on TikTok. I
mean every kids people have different experiences. I yes, always listen,
always pay attention, and always appreciate that you are going
to walk away from somebody better and smarter because of
something they.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Gave you if you were open to it. That's the
big if. All right, So I love that everyone you
meet knows something that you don't. All right, here's this
is so me. Oh, I love this. A coworker once
told me. Nobody on their deathbed says I wish I
had worked more. Ain't that perspective if you can consider
(04:16):
that when you're trying to plan your day or figure
out how you're spending your time. And it's not about
being lazy or unmotivated or justifying being unemployed because you
don't feel like it. But this is to the people
who work their asses off to the point that they
forget to enjoy their life. And I think so many
of us fall into this. I can tell you this.
(04:38):
Before cancer, I proudly and repeatedly bragged about the vacation
days that I didn't take because I thought that meant
I was a hard worker and that that should be applauded.
And it should, But not to the extent in which
(04:59):
you sacrifice things that you'll never get back.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Does anyone even now in their current life think man
whereshd I work more. It doesn't seem like any of ours.
I mean, obviously we get the point being made on
the deathbed, the regrets and always it's the thing you're
always harping on. Nobody ever regrets the things they did.
They regret the things they didn't do, same kind of
(05:24):
deathbed idea. But I I don't know. I guess I did.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
It, and we guess.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Our industry is pretty unique in that way that it
is as a bad honor that you worked sixteen hours.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
It's insanity, it's it's it's.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Unhealthy, and that's why your chest feels that way, and
that's why your marriage is where it is, right, that's
but yeah, it's at what point do you do that?
And sometimes people will tell you have to wait till
you get to a certain place or status in life
that you.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Can take a break.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Maybe that's reasonable, but it's still something to carry around,
even it's not a hard rule. At whatever age you are,
that's got to be in the back.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Of your mind.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
And you don't know what age you get to be.
No one knows how old we're going to be when
our health deteriorates, when we aren't able to travel anymore.
When we have a sudden illness, when there is an accident,
you just don't know, so you can't just take it
for granted. Oh I'll do it in ten years. I'll
do it when I've got this much money, or when
I'm established here. I always say this too, I've never
(06:26):
regretted a vacation like, oh I wish I hadn't taken
that vacation. Maybe I've regretted who I've vacationed with, but
I certainly am not regretted taking a vacation. I mean,
I'm kidding when I say that, but you know what
I mean. No, but here once again, I just loved
this life changing sentence. A coworker once told me, nobody
(06:47):
on their deathbed says I wish I had worked more.
All right, I think I think you're going to I
think you're gonna like this one. You might say, EU,
but I think you're gonna get it because you've said
something similar to me as this sentence. When people drive
like assholes, tell yourself that maybe they just need to
(07:11):
poop very badly.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Yes, Uh, in some way, form or fashion, this is
just a matter of giving people a break. Give everybody
a little grace because you do not know what they're
going through. You might not get good service from that waiter,
and you know what, they might have just found out
that there that lump actually is cancer.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Just give everybody a.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Beat, no matter how mean and nasty of a human
being they seem to be. We all have bad moments,
and I bet you anything you can explain away your
bad moment because what had a bad day, got bad news,
didn't get enough rest.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I got it right.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
You can excuse yourself. Well, stop judging everybody else by
their worst actions and judging yourself your best intentions, and
give people a freaking break.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I know, you know. It just reminded me, babe, when
I when I I just got word the day before
Thanksgiving that I was going to have to go through
six rounds of chemo. I was devastated. I had been crying.
I walk on a train and my friend was trying
to figure out what train I was on. I had
accidentally wandered into the no talking or the quiet train,
(08:16):
and all I was doing I had like once to
say what train I was on, and this guy yelled
at me, go shit and started screaming at me. And
it was the day and I literally lost it, and
I thought to myself, never underestimate what someone might be
going through, And that personally happened to me, and I
do try to remember that. What I also loved about
(08:37):
this sentence was that it did put humor into it.
So if you're angry, if you tell yourself that, you'll
actually start laughing. So not only might you feel compassion,
but you'll also get the humor of it too. So yes,
once again, for you, when people drive like assholes, tell
yourself that maybe they just need to poop very badly.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Some fun with this before somebody will do. And I'll say,
you know what, give him a break, he has to
wear that shirt. Whatever you have to tell yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Just give people a beat.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Yep. Even if it means laughing a little, it is.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
And it also it frees you of resentment and anger
that only eats you up inside. That person doesn't even
know you're mad, so you're only harming yourself. Yes, okay,
that which kind of leads me to the next life
changing sentence. How about if you always just ask yourself
this when you're feeling all those negative feelings, here's the sentence,
(09:36):
Can you do anything? About it. Does that speak to you?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Uh, there's a tattoo on my arm and says surrender. Yes,
that speaks to me.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
I thought surrender was shorter than the sentence you read,
so that's why I went, it's not really.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
A sentence if it's just one word.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
It's but it was just you see this is what
I mean. You don't listen.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
You didn't hear me finish my statement here? Oh my good,
see what I deal with?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Folks?
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Oh christ on sale. But yes, to that point, it's
that moment I find that I am upset about something
that's happening, and as soon as I realize there is
not a thing in the world I can do about
what's happening. Now I am the idiot for being upset
(10:21):
about it. Why put myself through the ect. We're all
gonna be in the I'm gonna be in the same
spot no matter whether I'm crying or whether I'm dancing.
So I'll go dance.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
You know, I have seen you have that recognition in
that moment where you're like, and I've actually been surprised,
like wow, you're kind of handling this really well, and
you're like, what can I do about it? Like I've
actually heard you say yes a version of this sentence
many many, many times when things.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Go wrong, and the only time you usually see me
upset is when somebody screws my plan up, and then
I'm mad at myself, like why did I even trust
this person?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
So I'm said, I screwed up in that moment.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
But no, I understand when you know what flights, flight delays,
flight can't those things? Oh, how frustrating. Nothing in the
world I can do. Why am I going to sweat it?
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I feel like when I'm in a cab or an
uber and I'm stuck in traffic and I know I'm
gonna be late. That is the most stress. I feel
so much stress. And then you that is when you
have to say, ain't nothing I can do about it?
So yes, can you do anything about it? If you
can just ask yourself that in the moment where you're
feeling your blood just boiling, that is going to give
(11:37):
you peace, because either you can or you can't, And
then you have to get to the place of peace,
which is called acceptance or surrender. As TJ's tattoo says,
I I'm gonna I'm gonna see because I read the
explanation behind it. I don't know how you're gonna feel
about this next supposed life changing sentence, but I really
(11:59):
appreciated it. I think you're gonnah, you're gonna get it.
All sun and no rain makes a desert.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
I think I've heard something along these lines before. I
guess it's just a caution. Every tale about you don't
there's something necessary. There's another side that's necessary, and not
just this thing that right, we love some sun and
we seem to not want a rain cloud ever, right,
(12:28):
don't we want to go through life never see another storm.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
It's not gonna work exactly well. And yes, that's one interpretation.
Another one that this person wrote in about was we
all want sunny skies, yes, but we all want to
be happy, right, to be sunny, to be bright. But
sometimes you're gonna have to cry. Sometimes the rain is
gonna have to come. You're going to have to let
(12:52):
that negativity, that emotion out in order to feel the sun,
to recognize the sun, to appreciate the sun. You have to, yes,
see the rain, but you have to let it out.
So they were even making the point that the rain
are tears. Do you ever cry? You cry of happiness.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Yeah, I don't cry a lot anymore. I used to.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
That's good.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Yeah, I'm thinking about that. Yeah, I used to shed
many many tears. Yeah, I don't cry as much anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I see you cry when you're moved by other people's kindness,
joy like generosity. You cry tears of joy and like
you're moved emotionally, but not because you're sad or angry.
I don't see that.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
I've always been that guy.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
I'm younger, I'm moved by things, yes, absolutely, and I
will shed a tear. I did it plenty on television.
No problem with that about it. Not trying to hide it,
not a problem.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I have not cried that much very lately. I am
a crier. But I did appreciate this that it gives
you at least you know. We do have to cleanse
ourselves of and however we do it, but sometimes tears
are a way out, and for a lot of us
who do tend to cry, I felt like this this
(14:09):
was permission and even acceptance that it's part of And
if you don't, yeah, what do you have left? You
can't just have sunshine, you have to have the tears.
You have to have the dark times. So I liked
that a lot. All right, when we come back the
last two life changing sentences, one is fowards, one is
(14:30):
three words, and I think they are two of the
most powerful sentences that I heard on this entire list.
So stay tuned and welcome back to Amy and TJ,
(14:50):
where we are discussing seven life changing sentences. This was
a BuzzFeed article I saw. There were I think as
many as thirty three thirty four different sentences, but these
were my seven favorite. And this next one, well, the
next two are very short and very simple, but pack
a big punch. This one. The person who put this
(15:13):
in or sent this in said that this changed his
relationship in like completely, in every way. He finally learned
this sentence and meant it when he said it, and
he said the response was life changing. You might be right.
Instead of challenging or arguing or defending or all of
(15:37):
the natural responses when someone says something that you don't
like or that you disagree with, he said, I've just
learned that you might be right. And how it changes
a conversation, it changes a room, and it changes your life.
It changes your perspective.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Okay, I haven't been using this in the right way.
I guess what you're talking about, and that is the
proper way to use such a thing. I often use
it to be dismissive because I don't want.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
To talk about it.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
You say it sarcastically.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
I when someone especially wants to insult me or coming
at me in some personal way, a challenge like that,
my be rain. What do you say after you insult
someone and they go, maybe you're right?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
That kind of.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Shuts This wasn't meant to be used in that fashion.
This person wrote in and said and actually said, when
you really open your mind to that possibility, it a
gives that other person piece, but it also gives you
that same idea that maybe you still have something to learn.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
To each his and her own. And if that's the
way you want to use it to change your life,
I'm giving you another way to use it to change
your life. When somebody is coming at you like as
passionate as all get out, mad as hell, calling you
whatever kind of name, like the woman on.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
The plane, which one is that one?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Whose bag?
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Oh good lord, half Mercy American Airlines flight on the
way to Fairvielle, Arkansas, on Thursday. Well, it was a
six thirty flight lady sitting in one A. I hope
your life gets better, ma'am. This was such an awful
display of a human being. But I'm trying to give
her grace. It's hard to do so when a woman
cared more about an air mess bag than being considerate
(17:26):
to every other passenger on a plane. True, and literally
barked four seats away from me not to crush her bag,
and I had to bark back, ma'am. Pipe down. Nobody
is going to touch that bag. I assure you. Put
a little base in the voice.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Next thing I know, the flight attendant's coming back to
retrieve the bag. Right.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
This is what we're talking about here with people. What
I gave that woman was what she wanted, didn't I
not a problem, ma'am. Nobody is going to touch your bag.
And then she died away. She was a puppy the
rest of the time, and she was scared to look
up and all these things.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
She came over and said, I moved my bag, so
you can put yours there now. But it was like
twenty minutes later.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Well, that is the same concept I'm saying with this phrase.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Maybe you're right, you know what you said when you
sat down and looked at me, you said, it's gotta
be tough, gotta be tough to be her, to be her.
So it's one way. Again, I don't think it was
meant in that tone, but you can use it how
you like. Apparently regardless, it's still a life changing sentence.
You might be right, all right, this is one I
(18:37):
think is really going to speak to you. You have
I have had to learn this because I have. I
was raised to be polite and to not want to offend,
and so sometimes in doing so, you're not fully transparent.
You're not being fully truthful because you're trying to be polite.
(18:57):
So here is a life changing sentence. This is the last,
and I think probably the best, most actionable life changing sentence.
It's three words clear is kind? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (19:18):
We're always usually trying to spare people's feelings, right, and
we oftentimes end up not being straight with them about
either how we feel or even about the job they're
doing or how they're looking, or whatever it may be.
I do this with you all the time, and it
absolutely drives me crazy, and it drives you crazy. I
(19:38):
guess I'm so literal in how I communicate because I'm
trying to be clear and I expect the same level
of clarity back, and that's not reasonable, I have learned,
But I think it is a It is the nice
kind is the word they use.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
It is clear, is kind.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
The thing to do is to look someone in the
eye and be straight with them about whatever it may
be and leave no ambiguity.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
That is the hard thing to do. It is the
scary thing to do, but it is the right thing
to do. And I agree with you, And it is
so fascinating to be with someone who that is one
of your like that's a huge part of who you are.
And actually it's hard sometimes to be on the receiving
(20:29):
end of it. But when you know it's true and
you know it comes from love, it actually it emboldens
me to feel like if you're coming from the right
place and you're saying it out of love, it is
the kind thing to do. But it is the hard
thing to do. And I've not been conditioned to communicate
like that, and I certainly I don't think had the
(20:51):
confidence to communicate like that, but because I think it
does take it takes confidence to know that you can
look somebody in the eye and say something really hard
but something they need to hear clear is kind And
this comes like breaking up with someone. Oh my god,
people are like trying. You know, we ghost people, right,
We break up with people on text because it's hard
(21:14):
to do the right thing. It's hard to be clear
when clear is something you know they don't want to hear.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Just ask yourself, is it what you would want to hear?
Don't you want people to be clear with you? Yeah,
that's a good one, but it is kind. It's the
I don't know where that comes from. I don't know
if I've always been like that or just so you
get to a certain point in a certain age. We
just adults. We don't have time to mess around. We
don't have time to wonder. We just when have a
lot of time left on this earth. You could relatively say, so.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
It's just we waste so many people's time making people
think something's going to happen that we know isn't. It's
it's crazy. So anyway, for me, that really struck home.
I thought of you immediately, TJ, and then I just thought, wow,
that might be the most life changing sentence of them all.
So anyway, we hope you enjoyed and again total credit
(22:02):
to BuzzFeed for putting this list together, but I just
thought it was so cool. I wanted to share with
all of you, and we want to thank you for
listening to us. I'm ay Me Roboch alongside TJ. Holmes.
We'll talk to you soon.