March 3, 2023 • 38 mins
Aether, Sirius, and Logo travel to a castle with an oasis at the edge of the Azrael Desert.
Intra Quest – Created by Michael Freiberg
A production of iHeartRadio and Astrum Media
Executive Produced by Michael Freiberg and iHeartRadio
Co-produced by Adam Raymonda and Chelsea English
Sound Design and Mix by Dennis Dembeck
Music by Trey Toy
Episode written by Michael Freiberg and Tom Delgado
Performances by:
Matthew Broussard | Aether
Mike Lebovitz | Sirius
Myq Kaplan | Logo
Lucie Pohl | Umbra
Featuring:
Dan St. Germain | Oren
Director and Head Writer: Michael Freiberg
Writers: Tom Delgado and Will Julian
Story Editor: Chelsea English
Dialogue Editor: Adam Raymonda
Additional Music: Matthew Blocha
Foley: Post Red
Key Art: Rich Davies
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Int request created by Michael Freiberg, a production of iHeartRadio
and Astro Media Listen with headphones for three D audio.
There's no oasis. This land isn't even fertile. We're standing
at the outer edges of the astral desert with nothing
for miles but death and decay. Ether, what serious have
(00:28):
pepper pot candy? Oh? Here? Serious? M According to the map,
the oasis should be right over this, dude. Ether, second
pepper pot for serious? I just gave you here. Take
the bag. Don't eat too many or you'll get pepper
(00:51):
pod madness really eats our serious more pepper pot candy? No,
you just ate the bag. As I was saying the
oasis logo, look around, do you see an oasis full
of life in riches? Or do you see that the
(01:12):
only thing down in those dunes is an old, broken
down castle lost to the sands of time. A castle,
but either According to the map, rings close proximity to
an oasis and water is essential to our survival. If
we don't take proper precaution to replenish our canteens, we
risk dehydration and exhaustion from exposure to the desert sun. Serious,
no need water serious strong store water on back blood.
(01:35):
Camel go weeks without water, soaking desert sun can not.
Only is that not how nutrients are absorbed in the body.
That's not how camel store water either. Besides, even camels
stop at watering holes to drink and refuel. It's only
sensible we do the same logo. There is no watering hole,
(01:57):
only that stone castle at the bottom of the dune.
You led us all the way to the outer edges
of the Azral Desert for nothing. What we need to
do is return to the main path while there's still
hope of finding the mole air or else. By the
time we reach Imperia, we'll have missed the solar eclipse
and be as shriveled up as the pepper pod candies
running away in serious as gold. But according to the map.
(02:18):
According to the map, there shouldn't even be a castle.
The map is wrong. Precisely. The castle has fifty foot
high walls, four armored turrets, and a fortified central bell
tower that stretches to the sky, all of which is
surrounded by a dry moat at least thirty feet deep
and twelve feet wide. Whoever built this castle must have
done so to privatize and protect a most valuable resource.
(02:39):
The otis water, water, pepper pod burn, hot and serious
billy makes serious thirsty. We've already wasted too much time.
We have to head back to the path. I forget
(03:00):
it while we're out here. I guess it couldn't hurt
the scabbnge for supplies. Lucky for us, the castle's drawbridge
is already down. And second thought, no one builds a
castle like that because they welcome visitors. Maybe we should
turn back. How much water is left in the cancies?
They're empty? No water? No water? What serious? Need water?
(03:28):
Serious belly burn like like bapper pod fire? Serious? Stop?
What's going on? Looks like we're storming the castle for water. Serious,
(03:56):
stay put at the end of the drawbridge. It's safer
if we entered the castle together. Serious wrong, serious water
water d well. We can't be positive this find your
water right logo? Uh sure? Ether hold on through the
(04:21):
castle entrueway together. Marble columns or Nate's tapestries, double winged
staircase in size and stature. The castle's reception chamber resembles
that of a grand hall. Despite the neglect, you can
(04:43):
tell this castle was once home to a great king.
Look water what where overhead a banner of the royal
coat of arms. It depicts a gilded chalice overflowing with water,
King Oran of water Land. My intuition about the place
was correct. It appears this castle once belonged to the
(05:03):
Great King Oran. Well, I'm sure it was a sight
to see. Hello, anyone home Oran either stopped, someone might
hear hear that silence? What I tell you? Abandoned. We
got the whole castle to ourselves. Looks like this way
(05:28):
leads to the throne room. Come on, the throne room
must be one of the rooms down this hall. That
immense blackstone door at the end of the corridor. Why
is there a mirror in the center of it? Huh,
I don't know. Maybe the mirror is to reflect the
(05:48):
light from the ceiling chandelier and brighten up the place blots.
I wonder where it goes. It appears to require a
hieroglyphic cipher to open one hundred different symbols. There's an
inscription over the door's arch. Simple eyes symbolize sinful lines.
(06:09):
What does it mean? Clue for water? We shouldn't stick
around to find out logo. Would you relax. There's nothing
to worry about. We're the only ones here. But if
that's true, who's been letting the torches on the wall?
What was that? Water? Water? Water? Serious? After him? Water?
(06:49):
War serious? Not another step either in center of throne
rooms water will We don't know what's down there. This
could all be a trap. I tried to tell you
that back on the dunes. You didn't listen. Yeah, sound
(07:10):
come from inside well at bottom? Serious, find source, find water,
don't be rash. The logical thing would be to consider
all possibilities before arriving at such a conclusion. Fire water. Now,
(07:34):
he just leapt into the well. It's bit black down there,
with no visibility to the bottom. He could be injured,
that is, assuming he survived the fall at all. What
should we do? We go down after him? What? No,
that would only put us at risk too serious deeds us? Oh? Okay, okay,
(07:57):
I know. Water wells are essentially a simple rope and
pulley system centered on a fixed axle. If we lower
the empty water bucket hanging above the well for serious
to grab a hold of, we can use the other
end of the rope to safely hoist them up the
ground level. We can't pull them out ourselves. Serious, is
way too heavy and chalk full of pepper pot candies.
That's where you're wrong. By tying the rope ground several
(08:20):
sturdy objects found around the room, such as the the
anister and throne itself, one can introduce sufficient counterweight to
anchor the system and significantly reduce the force required to
lift it out. Yet there, that should do it. Okay, serious,
(08:40):
I'm dropping down the bucket. Grab hold of it. We're
gonna get you out of their buddy logo. Tell me
when to pull them a raise them up together. That's
not necessary, huh. I've added sufficient oppositional force into the
system to extract a small boulder. Even someone of modest
strength like myself could raise him unaided simply by knotting
(09:04):
the rope around their waist life itself and lifting at
an angle near parallel to direction of motion. Allow me
to demonstrate whatever, Just do it already, as soon as
you let go of the rope, logo, I'm a big rattle. Serious,
(09:31):
broke my fault. I guess she's heavier than I thought.
Get us out of here. Well, hell all right, I'm
gonna grab a torch off the wall and come down
there myself. The rope's anchored around the wells axle. I'll
repel down and then we can climb back up. Be
(09:54):
right there, Serious, you're right serious, okay, but but well
empty sorry never pot madness, water water, who's that? Hello?
(10:18):
Who are you? Why are you down here? Water water?
He appears to be in some sort of trance. Looks
like he's had a rough go of it, bound, beaten
and left at the bottom of a well. We have
to want tie him, But remember what you said about
this being a trap. Maybe he's tied up for good reason.
If we leave right now, don't touch anything, then we
(10:40):
can leave him to die and we'll never learn who
did this to him and what danger lies ahead. Besides,
he's no threat to the three of us. Untie him, water, Water,
you'll never get your hands. I'm bone water water. Drops
(11:01):
of water in bucket on ground next to him. Serious,
forget it, help much, finish on tying him? Water, give
(11:22):
serious strength. Who are you three? We're travelers who wanted
in from the desert. What happened here? I'll tell you
everything I know, but first introductions are in order. I
am King of the Waterland Sage of the water Buffalo,
Guardian of flow is or welcome to my home, your
(11:47):
king and only king, or I'm ether that's serious and logo,
how long have you been in this well? I'm I'm
not sure. Last thing I remember is we were under
attack and I was headed to my escape tunnel to
wait it out. The entrance, which is hidden in the
(12:08):
wall behind my throat. My escape tunnel, leads to the outside,
and only I know the code to enter. Were you ambushed? Yes,
I must have been, and that's what I've blacked out
and fell into this stupor. He must have tied me
up and left me in this wealth. He must be
(12:30):
behind this. He has returned. He who are you talking?
The King of the Shadowland, King of Shadows, the King
of the Shadowland, My greatest rival, who has long since
terrorized my kingdom, Lord Nero. Lord Nero. Nero has driven
(12:57):
away most of the Waterland people on fear and is
the reason the few who stayed behind remain hidden in
this kingdom like beetles, and now, with no one wants
to defend the castle, Nero really comes and goes as
he pleases me. He seems to be growing stronger each
passing day. What is his objective? Neros after one thing,
(13:19):
and one thing, only water. But as long as I'm alive,
he'll never get his hands on it, and Nero needs
me alive. I could explain. The water Lands oasis is
in the Imperial Grounds, located behind the castle. The Imperial
Grounds containing the oasis is whole week nclosed on all sides,
(13:43):
with fortified fifty foot walls on the eastern and western perimeters,
and unscalable mountains in the distance. The only way to
enter the grounds is through the castle's rear door, made
of impenetrable black stone and secured by hiro affect cipher.
If a wrong coat is answered three times in a row,
(14:05):
the door will lock forever. The blackstone door at the
end of the corridor, the one with a mirror in
the center beneath the chandelier, so you've seen it. I
alone know the answer to the cipher and will never
surrender it to Nero. He must never reach the oasis.
The water belongs to the water Land Kingdom, and he
(14:28):
is mine and mine alone. Sorry, serious drink your water nonsense.
Because they refuse to willingly give him the water, Nero's
decided he'd take it by force, even if it means
ringing it out of me one tear at a time.
(14:49):
But despite all the suffering, he'll never break me. You
didn't drink my water, You drank my tears. Wait a minute,
water cipher oasis. If you have an oasis full of water,
why is there no water in this well or the
(15:11):
moat that surrounds the castle or in bucket? Do you
really think I'd allow the oasis water to flow freely
throughout the kingdom while Nero terrorizes it. Every drop that
graces his lips is one less for the water land people.
I've swore to guard the flow of water in this
(15:31):
realm with my life, and we'll defend the oasis for
as long as I'm the king with great hotter. I
wear the badge of my royal etom say, your badge
is a picture of a water buffalo with your name
across it and underneath the word flow. Yes, I am
the guardian of flow? Well or in guardian of flow?
(15:55):
Tell me how do you know that Nero hasn already
gotten his hands on your water? That the oasis this
isn't dry? Would you like to see it? Yes? Yes, yeah,
we would. Then at the time we climb out of
this well. To the gentlemen, we've arrived the highest point
(16:27):
of the water Land Kingdom. The viewing balcony awakes. I
invite you three to step outside and behind my kingdoms
round jel the Waterland Oasis. Now come back inside with me.
(16:56):
There is something I must ask you three. You never
told me down on the well. What business brings you
to the water Land Kingdom. We came in search of water.
We have a long journey ahead of us, and only
wish to refill our canteens at your oasis, after which
(17:18):
will be on our way. I see, so you've come
for my water well. Perhaps an arrangement can be made.
Return with me at once to the throne room. We
shall discuss terms. So or in what did you have
(17:44):
in mind? An alliance of forces against a common enemy?
Common enemy? It appears you in the shadow Land king
are both after my water. But if he reaches the
oasis first, there will be nothing left for you three.
But send Nero will stop at nothing. But I've studied
(18:07):
his nature, uncovered his secret weakness. I can defeat him.
What need us for? Alas two weeks to do it alone?
While the Waterland's castles made of stone. My people are
not as I've noted. Those subjects of mine who have
(18:30):
yet to flee, stay coward away and hide. But if
you join me in fighting the Shadowland King, together, we
can end his reign of terror upon my kingdom and
defeat him. And for your troubles, I will shower you
three with so much water your cups will overflow. We're
(18:55):
civilian mercenaries, not sell swords. This is your battle to fight. Ah.
But even in my stupor down in the well, I
recognized you three persis the inherent qualities of great soldiers. Serious,
with your pulking strength and fierce heart, you'd make a
(19:17):
great warrior chief, in charge of training the last of
the Waterland people and leading them into battle. Logo. You
have a most impressive mind an unrivaled acumen. You would
have had our military strategy, responsible for formulating battle tactics
and managing the logistics behind out. Winning our opponent sounds
(19:41):
logical to me and eat her. You have the spirit
of a natural born leader. My second in command, you'd
help me understand the mind of our enemy, solve the
puzzle of his soul, and lead our kingdom against Nero
when the time comes. When the time comes, the black
bell atop the Kingdom sounds the alarm. Three rings from
(20:04):
the bell tower signifies the Shadowland King's return. Here's some
tune I know all too well. When Nero is finally
defeated and peace restored to the Waterland Kingdom, the black
bell will ring out all through the night in celebration
with your help, its victory song will be heard throughout
(20:29):
the realm uh huh. And exactly how big is Nero's army?
He will come alone. I can assure you that. Now,
will you three join me in this final fight for freedom? Okay?
D I propose atoms. They keep a special reserve bottle
(20:56):
of the purest Waterland water in my throne room for
rare occasions like this. You're defeating Mero and restoring the
flow to the Waterland Kingdom here here, after our victory.
There's much more where that came from, much more, I
promise now, we don't have long until Nero's return. Serious,
(21:25):
my warrior cheek, report to the armory on the main hole,
last room on the left. You'll have free reign of
the arsenal containing the Waterland's best weapons and equipment. Use
it's to arm the infantry. After the armory, make your
way to the barracks in the next room. Over the
barracks is where you'll find the remaining Waterland people. Hide
(21:46):
them each trust us knights, but do not be fooled
by their silver suits of armor. There are our soldiers
and them I trust, though you'll make warriors out of them. Yet, logo,
my head of strategy. Off to the war room for
you down the main hall, last room of the right.
I grant you full autonomy over the Waterland's royal archives
(22:09):
and vast capital reserves. Use them wisely to deploy our
resources and ensure where battle ready. I have faith in
you to formulate our path to victory. Affirmative either, my general,
you are a remain of my side here in the
throne room, and help me dissect the psyche of the
Shadowland King. His mind is a murky enigma, but deciphering
(22:33):
its true nature is the way to our victory. When
the bell tolls three times, you will lead the Waterland
Kingdom to war. I will now go. Thank has your stations, swords, stacks,
(23:00):
chests of supply, all stock of barrels, pile high. Serious
approve of waterland armory from Arsenal built great army to
take down Shadow King? What in parrels? Bottom barrels mark
(23:25):
black powder? Black powder must be for bomb. Top barrels
mark Oran's oasis, Oran's oasis. Top barrels must have water
from waterland oasis. Big barrel pile reached ceiling. One small
(23:48):
sip for serious or no one knows the barrel even
have cork cloth to drink water makes serious strong or
in need serious strong or in need serious drink from
barrel h serious take a small ship from barrel for
(24:08):
oord ah barrel do have water only sand sand? Ye?
We need water anyway? When half swords swords so many
(24:38):
swords on war? Which sword worthy of great warrior chief?
Which sword serious? Uncheethe m hm m hm hm This
one handle of gold lion had sneaks, he creep crossbars
(25:04):
shaped like leather b or victory with lion sword serious
defeat Shadow Kingdom unshe Huh no blade only sword handle
mm hm hm ah with this sword now serious wind
(25:26):
battle unshe ah? This one no have bladed either a
huh all right, no sword here have blade only handle? Huh?
(25:50):
Chest empty? Two stacks of royal archives steeled bang vault
and an oversized oakwood writing desk upon which rests a
multitude of scientific instruments and sundreams all the base essentials
for the modern military strategists. Now, this is the type
(26:11):
of war room where I can dedicate myself fully to
the intricacies of my work. Well, time to get to it. Huh,
there's a tea kettle on the desk. Oran must have
sent up a fresh pot in advance of my arrival.
It'd be a root of me not to partake. Besides,
a few SIPs are to relax my nerves and put
me in the proper mindset to take on such taxing work. Okay, logo,
(26:36):
coordinate brain to hand, steady spout to cup. Poor. What
that's not tea, it's sand Okay, Well, logo, looks like
you'll have to rely on your own mental fortitude to
get you through this one. Okay, military strategy. Where to begin?
The possibilities are limitless. I know, I'll peruse the bookshelves
(27:03):
to simulate my thinking. Excellent idea. It's a military warfare
section due the art of military strategy and subterfuge. Sounds promising.
That's odd. The pages are blank. Let's be a misprint. Okay,
(27:27):
let's see. Oh, here we are combat, counter attacks, and
operations critical building blocks to a solid foundation. This book's
blank too, all right? Third Times the Charm Warfare Principles,
theory and practice the Blank. As my second in command,
(28:05):
you're my most trusted adviser. It would be an honor
if during battle you wore my badge as the guardian
of flow. It looks dignified beside your abunance the eye
of imperiad. Now orn, If I'm to understand the mind
(28:25):
of the Shadowland King, I need to know how this
all came to be. I suppose where should I begin?
The start tell me everything, and I guess you'll want
to know the history of the Waterland Kingdom and how
I became king. In my youth, I was the prince
(28:49):
of a foreign rith, one of the most prosperous and
old of the Azrael Desert. My parents started as mere
soldiers and built their kingdom brick by brick, all to
leave their life of war behind them. Under their rule,
the kingdom flourished and our people enjoyed a life of prosperity.
(29:13):
Our army, though though we never went to war was
the most fear in the land. As their only child,
I should have been next in line for the throne,
But I was spoiled by their success. Ignorant of my privilege,
having never known true hardship, I grew salts. Pains me
(29:36):
to say, but I was the prodigal prince. Neither they
nor our people respected me. But when I came of age,
I was determined to prove my merit. If they wouldn't
give me the crown, my birthright, I would establish a
(29:59):
kingdom of my own, a kingdom more prosperous than any
before it. Accompanied by a few of our most loyal soldiers,
in carrying the royal chalice in hand as a token
of good faith, I led an expedition deep into the
desert in search of fertile land. Weeks into wandering the
(30:21):
dunes would all seemed hopeless, and on the brink of collapse.
I happened upon this ass o asis, which would give
rise to my kingdom, redeem my honor, and return meaning
(30:41):
to my life. Soon after its discovery, we built this
castle in the name of the Waterland Kingdom, and I
its ruler, King Oran. And what happened from there under
my rule. The kingdom flourished. It grew quickly in size
(31:01):
and fortune, and became a central point along the desert
trade routes. I was generous with my wealth. The oh
ass water flowed freely throughout my realm like rivers. I
loved my waterland people, and at last they loved me. Agather,
(31:22):
we live prosperously in this waterland Kingdom, our own desert paradise.
But that all ended with Nero. I suppose all good
things must come to an end, as if a creature
of the abyss. He arrived one evening on a full
(31:45):
moon sky seam as tonight, and so began Nero's reign
of terror. As the days passed, his hold over me
increased and slow, the Waterland Kingdom crumpled. My people deserted.
They they fun to the dooms, where they hide out
in desert caves like exiles. Those poor souls who stayed
(32:09):
behind stay hidden my bugs and the barracks. But I
don't blame them. They feared for their lives, and I
I failed to protect them. If I could only prove
that there's something still here worth fighting for, that that
I'm not a lost cause, I know they come back
(32:30):
to me. But you know the Schadowland King's secret, his weakness.
You can defeat him. Yes, serious, go through barracks, training
(32:53):
Waterland people, making through war pears, h barracks better. Waterland
people stand guard and rolls head to toe in armor
like silver Knight, ready to fight Shadowland King. Waterland people
(33:18):
fear no longer serious great warrior from distant land. Together
we take down Shadowland King, restore glory to Waterland Kingdom.
Who stand and fight with sirious Now it's not time
for quiet. Scared mouse, be brave like lion. We fight
(33:43):
for king Urn. Roar with serious in front. Brave Knight.
Tell serious name, don't be shy, serious hand here, shake
(34:06):
serious hand. If night no shake serious hand, serious shake
night hand. All right, h Night hand come off. You
must lose hand in battle. Brave warrior, a very brave warrior.
(34:28):
Any of you brave like Night with one hand will
give flesh for freedom. Ah, Hello, have you no honor?
Serious speak? Anyone in armor? Listen Hello, Armor Nights topple
(34:53):
empty good toy. Well, without the archives, I suppose I'll
have to devise our military strategy relying on the cerebral
powers of pure mental ingenuity. Alone m to optimize output.
(35:15):
It might be prudent the first take stock of the
pool of resources available to us. AH the military ledger.
Capital allocation has always been a favored pastime. Don't mind
if I take a look. Yeah, all right, let's see
how financially sound the Royal Bank of Waterland really is.
Here we are recent entries, three hundred thousand opals towards
(35:38):
the purchase of military armor and armament, one hundred two
thousand opals spent on travel and trade, seventy thousand for
fortress maintenance and repairs, two hundred thousand four celebratory power
technique sething the grand total that leaves the Royal Bank
with just over one million black opals. We're rich. We
can hire an army to defeat the shadow Lin King
for us. Or better yet, forget the shadow Link King.
We can build a whole new castle. It's all right
(36:00):
here in this ledger. The one million black opals are
all right here in this bank vault. I've never seen
that many opals at once before. Would it be unprofessional
if I took a small peak? No, logo, don't be ridiculous.
It's my responsibility, Nay, my royal decree to ensure every
opal is properly accounted for. King Orn deserves such immaculate
(36:23):
attention to his treasury. It's more magnificent than I could
have ever imagined. One million black opals piled high to
(36:43):
the ceiling. What if I were to what's one opal
out of one million, one percent of one percent of
one percent to be precise? A mere rounding error. A
military strategist has Gotta Eat InterQuest created by Michael Freiberg,
(37:15):
a production of Ihart Radio and Astro Media Executive produced
by Michael Freiberg and I Hear Radio, co produced by
Adam Raimunda and Chelsea English. Sound design and mixed by
Dennis Dembeck. Music by Trey Toy, Performances by Matthew Bursard, Ether,
Mike Leibovitz, Serious Mike Kaplan, Logo, Lucy poul Umbra featuring
(37:41):
Dancy and Germaine born director and head writer Michael Freiberk,
writers Tom Delgado and Will Julian, story editor, Chelsea English
dialogue editor Adam Raimunde. Additional music Matthew blacka fully post
fret fulcast and crew in the discription. Find more podcasts
(38:01):
from Myharradio on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you listen to podcasts.
Int request created by Michael Freiberg, a production of iHeartRadio
and Astro Media Listen with headphones for three D audio.
There's no oasis. This land isn't even fertile. We're standing
at the outer edges of the astral desert with nothing
for miles but death and decay. Ether, what serious have
(00:28):
pepper pot candy? Oh? Here? Serious? M According to the map,
the oasis should be right over this, dude. Ether, second
pepper pot for serious? I just gave you here. Take
the bag. Don't eat too many or you'll get pepper
(00:51):
pod madness really eats our serious more pepper pot candy? No,
you just ate the bag. As I was saying the
oasis logo, look around, do you see an oasis full
of life in riches? Or do you see that the
(01:12):
only thing down in those dunes is an old, broken
down castle lost to the sands of time. A castle,
but either According to the map, rings close proximity to
an oasis and water is essential to our survival. If
we don't take proper precaution to replenish our canteens, we
risk dehydration and exhaustion from exposure to the desert sun. Serious,
no need water serious strong store water on back blood.
(01:35):
Camel go weeks without water, soaking desert sun can not.
Only is that not how nutrients are absorbed in the body.
That's not how camel store water either. Besides, even camels
stop at watering holes to drink and refuel. It's only
sensible we do the same logo. There is no watering hole,
(01:57):
only that stone castle at the bottom of the dune.
You led us all the way to the outer edges
of the Azral Desert for nothing. What we need to
do is return to the main path while there's still
hope of finding the mole air or else. By the
time we reach Imperia, we'll have missed the solar eclipse
and be as shriveled up as the pepper pod candies
running away in serious as gold. But according to the map.
(02:18):
According to the map, there shouldn't even be a castle.
The map is wrong. Precisely. The castle has fifty foot
high walls, four armored turrets, and a fortified central bell
tower that stretches to the sky, all of which is
surrounded by a dry moat at least thirty feet deep
and twelve feet wide. Whoever built this castle must have
done so to privatize and protect a most valuable resource.
(02:39):
The otis water, water, pepper pod burn, hot and serious
billy makes serious thirsty. We've already wasted too much time.
We have to head back to the path. I forget
(03:00):
it while we're out here. I guess it couldn't hurt
the scabbnge for supplies. Lucky for us, the castle's drawbridge
is already down. And second thought, no one builds a
castle like that because they welcome visitors. Maybe we should
turn back. How much water is left in the cancies?
They're empty? No water? No water? What serious? Need water?
(03:28):
Serious belly burn like like bapper pod fire? Serious? Stop?
What's going on? Looks like we're storming the castle for water. Serious,
(03:56):
stay put at the end of the drawbridge. It's safer
if we entered the castle together. Serious wrong, serious water
water d well. We can't be positive this find your
water right logo? Uh sure? Ether hold on through the
(04:21):
castle entrueway together. Marble columns or Nate's tapestries, double winged
staircase in size and stature. The castle's reception chamber resembles
that of a grand hall. Despite the neglect, you can
(04:43):
tell this castle was once home to a great king.
Look water what where overhead a banner of the royal
coat of arms. It depicts a gilded chalice overflowing with water,
King Oran of water Land. My intuition about the place
was correct. It appears this castle once belonged to the
(05:03):
Great King Oran. Well, I'm sure it was a sight
to see. Hello, anyone home Oran either stopped, someone might
hear hear that silence? What I tell you? Abandoned. We
got the whole castle to ourselves. Looks like this way
(05:28):
leads to the throne room. Come on, the throne room
must be one of the rooms down this hall. That
immense blackstone door at the end of the corridor. Why
is there a mirror in the center of it? Huh,
I don't know. Maybe the mirror is to reflect the
(05:48):
light from the ceiling chandelier and brighten up the place blots.
I wonder where it goes. It appears to require a
hieroglyphic cipher to open one hundred different symbols. There's an
inscription over the door's arch. Simple eyes symbolize sinful lines.
(06:09):
What does it mean? Clue for water? We shouldn't stick
around to find out logo. Would you relax. There's nothing
to worry about. We're the only ones here. But if
that's true, who's been letting the torches on the wall?
What was that? Water? Water? Water? Serious? After him? Water?
(06:49):
War serious? Not another step either in center of throne
rooms water will We don't know what's down there. This
could all be a trap. I tried to tell you
that back on the dunes. You didn't listen. Yeah, sound
(07:10):
come from inside well at bottom? Serious, find source, find water,
don't be rash. The logical thing would be to consider
all possibilities before arriving at such a conclusion. Fire water. Now,
(07:34):
he just leapt into the well. It's bit black down there,
with no visibility to the bottom. He could be injured,
that is, assuming he survived the fall at all. What
should we do? We go down after him? What? No,
that would only put us at risk too serious deeds us? Oh? Okay, okay,
(07:57):
I know. Water wells are essentially a simple rope and
pulley system centered on a fixed axle. If we lower
the empty water bucket hanging above the well for serious
to grab a hold of, we can use the other
end of the rope to safely hoist them up the
ground level. We can't pull them out ourselves. Serious, is
way too heavy and chalk full of pepper pot candies.
That's where you're wrong. By tying the rope ground several
(08:20):
sturdy objects found around the room, such as the the
anister and throne itself, one can introduce sufficient counterweight to
anchor the system and significantly reduce the force required to
lift it out. Yet there, that should do it. Okay, serious,
(08:40):
I'm dropping down the bucket. Grab hold of it. We're
gonna get you out of their buddy logo. Tell me
when to pull them a raise them up together. That's
not necessary, huh. I've added sufficient oppositional force into the
system to extract a small boulder. Even someone of modest
strength like myself could raise him unaided simply by knotting
(09:04):
the rope around their waist life itself and lifting at
an angle near parallel to direction of motion. Allow me
to demonstrate whatever, Just do it already, as soon as
you let go of the rope, logo, I'm a big rattle. Serious,
(09:31):
broke my fault. I guess she's heavier than I thought.
Get us out of here. Well, hell all right, I'm
gonna grab a torch off the wall and come down
there myself. The rope's anchored around the wells axle. I'll
repel down and then we can climb back up. Be
(09:54):
right there, Serious, you're right serious, okay, but but well
empty sorry never pot madness, water water, who's that? Hello?
(10:18):
Who are you? Why are you down here? Water water?
He appears to be in some sort of trance. Looks
like he's had a rough go of it, bound, beaten
and left at the bottom of a well. We have
to want tie him, But remember what you said about
this being a trap. Maybe he's tied up for good reason.
If we leave right now, don't touch anything, then we
(10:40):
can leave him to die and we'll never learn who
did this to him and what danger lies ahead. Besides,
he's no threat to the three of us. Untie him, water, Water,
you'll never get your hands. I'm bone water water. Drops
(11:01):
of water in bucket on ground next to him. Serious,
forget it, help much, finish on tying him? Water, give
(11:22):
serious strength. Who are you three? We're travelers who wanted
in from the desert. What happened here? I'll tell you
everything I know, but first introductions are in order. I
am King of the Waterland Sage of the water Buffalo,
Guardian of flow is or welcome to my home, your
(11:47):
king and only king, or I'm ether that's serious and logo,
how long have you been in this well? I'm I'm
not sure. Last thing I remember is we were under
attack and I was headed to my escape tunnel to
wait it out. The entrance, which is hidden in the
(12:08):
wall behind my throat. My escape tunnel, leads to the outside,
and only I know the code to enter. Were you ambushed? Yes,
I must have been, and that's what I've blacked out
and fell into this stupor. He must have tied me
up and left me in this wealth. He must be
(12:30):
behind this. He has returned. He who are you talking?
The King of the Shadowland, King of Shadows, the King
of the Shadowland, My greatest rival, who has long since
terrorized my kingdom, Lord Nero. Lord Nero. Nero has driven
(12:57):
away most of the Waterland people on fear and is
the reason the few who stayed behind remain hidden in
this kingdom like beetles, and now, with no one wants
to defend the castle, Nero really comes and goes as
he pleases me. He seems to be growing stronger each
passing day. What is his objective? Neros after one thing,
(13:19):
and one thing, only water. But as long as I'm alive,
he'll never get his hands on it, and Nero needs
me alive. I could explain. The water Lands oasis is
in the Imperial Grounds, located behind the castle. The Imperial
Grounds containing the oasis is whole week nclosed on all sides,
(13:43):
with fortified fifty foot walls on the eastern and western perimeters,
and unscalable mountains in the distance. The only way to
enter the grounds is through the castle's rear door, made
of impenetrable black stone and secured by hiro affect cipher.
If a wrong coat is answered three times in a row,
(14:05):
the door will lock forever. The blackstone door at the
end of the corridor, the one with a mirror in
the center beneath the chandelier, so you've seen it. I
alone know the answer to the cipher and will never
surrender it to Nero. He must never reach the oasis.
The water belongs to the water Land Kingdom, and he
(14:28):
is mine and mine alone. Sorry, serious drink your water nonsense.
Because they refuse to willingly give him the water, Nero's
decided he'd take it by force, even if it means
ringing it out of me one tear at a time.
(14:49):
But despite all the suffering, he'll never break me. You
didn't drink my water, You drank my tears. Wait a minute,
water cipher oasis. If you have an oasis full of water,
why is there no water in this well or the
(15:11):
moat that surrounds the castle or in bucket? Do you
really think I'd allow the oasis water to flow freely
throughout the kingdom while Nero terrorizes it. Every drop that
graces his lips is one less for the water land people.
I've swore to guard the flow of water in this
(15:31):
realm with my life, and we'll defend the oasis for
as long as I'm the king with great hotter. I
wear the badge of my royal etom say, your badge
is a picture of a water buffalo with your name
across it and underneath the word flow. Yes, I am
the guardian of flow? Well or in guardian of flow?
(15:55):
Tell me how do you know that Nero hasn already
gotten his hands on your water? That the oasis this
isn't dry? Would you like to see it? Yes? Yes, yeah,
we would. Then at the time we climb out of
this well. To the gentlemen, we've arrived the highest point
(16:27):
of the water Land Kingdom. The viewing balcony awakes. I
invite you three to step outside and behind my kingdoms
round jel the Waterland Oasis. Now come back inside with me.
(16:56):
There is something I must ask you three. You never
told me down on the well. What business brings you
to the water Land Kingdom. We came in search of water.
We have a long journey ahead of us, and only
wish to refill our canteens at your oasis, after which
(17:18):
will be on our way. I see, so you've come
for my water well. Perhaps an arrangement can be made.
Return with me at once to the throne room. We
shall discuss terms. So or in what did you have
(17:44):
in mind? An alliance of forces against a common enemy?
Common enemy? It appears you in the shadow Land king
are both after my water. But if he reaches the
oasis first, there will be nothing left for you three.
But send Nero will stop at nothing. But I've studied
(18:07):
his nature, uncovered his secret weakness. I can defeat him.
What need us for? Alas two weeks to do it alone?
While the Waterland's castles made of stone. My people are
not as I've noted. Those subjects of mine who have
(18:30):
yet to flee, stay coward away and hide. But if
you join me in fighting the Shadowland King, together, we
can end his reign of terror upon my kingdom and
defeat him. And for your troubles, I will shower you
three with so much water your cups will overflow. We're
(18:55):
civilian mercenaries, not sell swords. This is your battle to fight. Ah.
But even in my stupor down in the well, I
recognized you three persis the inherent qualities of great soldiers. Serious,
with your pulking strength and fierce heart, you'd make a
(19:17):
great warrior chief, in charge of training the last of
the Waterland people and leading them into battle. Logo. You
have a most impressive mind an unrivaled acumen. You would
have had our military strategy, responsible for formulating battle tactics
and managing the logistics behind out. Winning our opponent sounds
(19:41):
logical to me and eat her. You have the spirit
of a natural born leader. My second in command, you'd
help me understand the mind of our enemy, solve the
puzzle of his soul, and lead our kingdom against Nero
when the time comes. When the time comes, the black
bell atop the Kingdom sounds the alarm. Three rings from
(20:04):
the bell tower signifies the Shadowland King's return. Here's some
tune I know all too well. When Nero is finally
defeated and peace restored to the Waterland Kingdom, the black
bell will ring out all through the night in celebration
with your help, its victory song will be heard throughout
(20:29):
the realm uh huh. And exactly how big is Nero's army?
He will come alone. I can assure you that. Now,
will you three join me in this final fight for freedom? Okay?
D I propose atoms. They keep a special reserve bottle
(20:56):
of the purest Waterland water in my throne room for
rare occasions like this. You're defeating Mero and restoring the
flow to the Waterland Kingdom here here, after our victory.
There's much more where that came from, much more, I
promise now, we don't have long until Nero's return. Serious,
(21:25):
my warrior cheek, report to the armory on the main hole,
last room on the left. You'll have free reign of
the arsenal containing the Waterland's best weapons and equipment. Use
it's to arm the infantry. After the armory, make your
way to the barracks in the next room. Over the
barracks is where you'll find the remaining Waterland people. Hide
(21:46):
them each trust us knights, but do not be fooled
by their silver suits of armor. There are our soldiers
and them I trust, though you'll make warriors out of them. Yet, logo,
my head of strategy. Off to the war room for
you down the main hall, last room of the right.
I grant you full autonomy over the Waterland's royal archives
(22:09):
and vast capital reserves. Use them wisely to deploy our
resources and ensure where battle ready. I have faith in
you to formulate our path to victory. Affirmative either, my general,
you are a remain of my side here in the
throne room, and help me dissect the psyche of the
Shadowland King. His mind is a murky enigma, but deciphering
(22:33):
its true nature is the way to our victory. When
the bell tolls three times, you will lead the Waterland
Kingdom to war. I will now go. Thank has your stations, swords, stacks,
(23:00):
chests of supply, all stock of barrels, pile high. Serious
approve of waterland armory from Arsenal built great army to
take down Shadow King? What in parrels? Bottom barrels mark
(23:25):
black powder? Black powder must be for bomb. Top barrels
mark Oran's oasis, Oran's oasis. Top barrels must have water
from waterland oasis. Big barrel pile reached ceiling. One small
(23:48):
sip for serious or no one knows the barrel even
have cork cloth to drink water makes serious strong or
in need serious strong or in need serious drink from
barrel h serious take a small ship from barrel for
(24:08):
oord ah barrel do have water only sand sand? Ye?
We need water anyway? When half swords swords so many
(24:38):
swords on war? Which sword worthy of great warrior chief?
Which sword serious? Uncheethe m hm m hm hm This
one handle of gold lion had sneaks, he creep crossbars
(25:04):
shaped like leather b or victory with lion sword serious
defeat Shadow Kingdom unshe Huh no blade only sword handle
mm hm hm ah with this sword now serious wind
(25:26):
battle unshe ah? This one no have bladed either a
huh all right, no sword here have blade only handle? Huh?
(25:50):
Chest empty? Two stacks of royal archives steeled bang vault
and an oversized oakwood writing desk upon which rests a
multitude of scientific instruments and sundreams all the base essentials
for the modern military strategists. Now, this is the type
(26:11):
of war room where I can dedicate myself fully to
the intricacies of my work. Well, time to get to it. Huh,
there's a tea kettle on the desk. Oran must have
sent up a fresh pot in advance of my arrival.
It'd be a root of me not to partake. Besides,
a few SIPs are to relax my nerves and put
me in the proper mindset to take on such taxing work. Okay, logo,
(26:36):
coordinate brain to hand, steady spout to cup. Poor. What
that's not tea, it's sand Okay, Well, logo, looks like
you'll have to rely on your own mental fortitude to
get you through this one. Okay, military strategy. Where to begin?
The possibilities are limitless. I know, I'll peruse the bookshelves
(27:03):
to simulate my thinking. Excellent idea. It's a military warfare
section due the art of military strategy and subterfuge. Sounds promising.
That's odd. The pages are blank. Let's be a misprint. Okay,
(27:27):
let's see. Oh, here we are combat, counter attacks, and
operations critical building blocks to a solid foundation. This book's
blank too, all right? Third Times the Charm Warfare Principles,
theory and practice the Blank. As my second in command,
(28:05):
you're my most trusted adviser. It would be an honor
if during battle you wore my badge as the guardian
of flow. It looks dignified beside your abunance the eye
of imperiad. Now orn, If I'm to understand the mind
(28:25):
of the Shadowland King, I need to know how this
all came to be. I suppose where should I begin?
The start tell me everything, and I guess you'll want
to know the history of the Waterland Kingdom and how
I became king. In my youth, I was the prince
(28:49):
of a foreign rith, one of the most prosperous and
old of the Azrael Desert. My parents started as mere
soldiers and built their kingdom brick by brick, all to
leave their life of war behind them. Under their rule,
the kingdom flourished and our people enjoyed a life of prosperity.
(29:13):
Our army, though though we never went to war was
the most fear in the land. As their only child,
I should have been next in line for the throne,
But I was spoiled by their success. Ignorant of my privilege,
having never known true hardship, I grew salts. Pains me
(29:36):
to say, but I was the prodigal prince. Neither they
nor our people respected me. But when I came of age,
I was determined to prove my merit. If they wouldn't
give me the crown, my birthright, I would establish a
(29:59):
kingdom of my own, a kingdom more prosperous than any
before it. Accompanied by a few of our most loyal soldiers,
in carrying the royal chalice in hand as a token
of good faith, I led an expedition deep into the
desert in search of fertile land. Weeks into wandering the
(30:21):
dunes would all seemed hopeless, and on the brink of collapse.
I happened upon this ass o asis, which would give
rise to my kingdom, redeem my honor, and return meaning
(30:41):
to my life. Soon after its discovery, we built this
castle in the name of the Waterland Kingdom, and I
its ruler, King Oran. And what happened from there under
my rule. The kingdom flourished. It grew quickly in size
(31:01):
and fortune, and became a central point along the desert
trade routes. I was generous with my wealth. The oh
ass water flowed freely throughout my realm like rivers. I
loved my waterland people, and at last they loved me. Agather,
(31:22):
we live prosperously in this waterland Kingdom, our own desert paradise.
But that all ended with Nero. I suppose all good
things must come to an end, as if a creature
of the abyss. He arrived one evening on a full
(31:45):
moon sky seam as tonight, and so began Nero's reign
of terror. As the days passed, his hold over me
increased and slow, the Waterland Kingdom crumpled. My people deserted.
They they fun to the dooms, where they hide out
in desert caves like exiles. Those poor souls who stayed
(32:09):
behind stay hidden my bugs and the barracks. But I
don't blame them. They feared for their lives, and I
I failed to protect them. If I could only prove
that there's something still here worth fighting for, that that
I'm not a lost cause, I know they come back
(32:30):
to me. But you know the Schadowland King's secret, his weakness.
You can defeat him. Yes, serious, go through barracks, training
(32:53):
Waterland people, making through war pears, h barracks better. Waterland
people stand guard and rolls head to toe in armor
like silver Knight, ready to fight Shadowland King. Waterland people
(33:18):
fear no longer serious great warrior from distant land. Together
we take down Shadowland King, restore glory to Waterland Kingdom.
Who stand and fight with sirious Now it's not time
for quiet. Scared mouse, be brave like lion. We fight
(33:43):
for king Urn. Roar with serious in front. Brave Knight.
Tell serious name, don't be shy, serious hand here, shake
(34:06):
serious hand. If night no shake serious hand, serious shake
night hand. All right, h Night hand come off. You
must lose hand in battle. Brave warrior, a very brave warrior.
(34:28):
Any of you brave like Night with one hand will
give flesh for freedom. Ah, Hello, have you no honor?
Serious speak? Anyone in armor? Listen Hello, Armor Nights topple
(34:53):
empty good toy. Well, without the archives, I suppose I'll
have to devise our military strategy relying on the cerebral
powers of pure mental ingenuity. Alone m to optimize output.
(35:15):
It might be prudent the first take stock of the
pool of resources available to us. AH the military ledger.
Capital allocation has always been a favored pastime. Don't mind
if I take a look. Yeah, all right, let's see
how financially sound the Royal Bank of Waterland really is.
Here we are recent entries, three hundred thousand opals towards
(35:38):
the purchase of military armor and armament, one hundred two
thousand opals spent on travel and trade, seventy thousand for
fortress maintenance and repairs, two hundred thousand four celebratory power
technique sething the grand total that leaves the Royal Bank
with just over one million black opals. We're rich. We
can hire an army to defeat the shadow Lin King
for us. Or better yet, forget the shadow Link King.
We can build a whole new castle. It's all right
(36:00):
here in this ledger. The one million black opals are
all right here in this bank vault. I've never seen
that many opals at once before. Would it be unprofessional
if I took a small peak? No, logo, don't be ridiculous.
It's my responsibility, Nay, my royal decree to ensure every
opal is properly accounted for. King Orn deserves such immaculate
(36:23):
attention to his treasury. It's more magnificent than I could
have ever imagined. One million black opals piled high to
(36:43):
the ceiling. What if I were to what's one opal
out of one million, one percent of one percent of
one percent to be precise? A mere rounding error. A
military strategist has Gotta Eat InterQuest created by Michael Freiberg,
(37:15):
a production of Ihart Radio and Astro Media Executive produced
by Michael Freiberg and I Hear Radio, co produced by
Adam Raimunda and Chelsea English. Sound design and mixed by
Dennis Dembeck. Music by Trey Toy, Performances by Matthew Bursard, Ether,
Mike Leibovitz, Serious Mike Kaplan, Logo, Lucy poul Umbra featuring
(37:41):
Dancy and Germaine born director and head writer Michael Freiberk,
writers Tom Delgado and Will Julian, story editor, Chelsea English
dialogue editor Adam Raimunde. Additional music Matthew blacka fully post
fret fulcast and crew in the discription. Find more podcasts
(38:01):
from Myharradio on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you listen to podcasts.
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