It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine

It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that. New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief & follow the show @ItsOKPod


September 18, 2023 47 mins

Did anyone teach you that understanding your grief is the key to being (or becoming) a healthy human being? Probably not. 


In this expansive episode, Megan speaks with world-renowned author and physician Gabor Maté about the role of trauma and grief in our personal lives and in society at large. Dr. Gabor Maté on grief, this week on It’s OK that You’re Not OK, the podcast.


In this episode we cover: 


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How do you turn the worst thing that’s ever happened to you into a comedy show? 


Comedian Michael Cruz Kayne went viral for a tweet he posted on the 10th anniversary of his newborn son’s death. What followed was an outpouring of support, but also: of storytelling, with thousands of people sharing their own experiences of loss. 


His one man show, Sorry for Your Loss, and his podcast, A Good Cry, have made the topic of child ...

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Should you stop being “good”? 


According to the 7 deadly sins, a “good person” needs no rest, has no appetite, has no desires, puts themselves last, and is never upset. 


NYT best-selling author Elise Loehnen says we spend most of our energy denying the needs and instincts that make us human - like our needs for love, connection, success, and rest. 


It’s hard to be “ok” when you’ve spent a lifetime denying your own needs...

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August 28, 2023 67 mins

Tembi Locke lived an amazing love story: she met a handsome chef during a study abroad year in Italy when she was just 20 years old. They moved to LA to pursue Tembi’s acting career, and built a life around their love of food, family, and each other.

And then leiomyosarcoma arrived. 


Is it still a Hollywood love story if it doesn’t have a happy ending?

Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here...

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August 21, 2023 59 mins

Sam Sanders is a well known and well loved radio and podcast host. He went a little extra-viral for a recent episode of his show, Vibe Check, in which he and his co-hosts openly discussed grief. This week on It’s OK, Sam joins us to talk about being open with his grief, and the ongoing relationships we have even after death. 

In this episode we cover: 

  • What happens if you give grief a voice? 
  • <...
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When life feels hard, does “peak performance” mean anything? 


Steven Kotler is known as the NYT best selling author of books like Stealing Fire and The Rise of Superman, but can the science of stretching limits apply to grief of any kind? If you look beyond the slick language of bio-hacking and extreme sports typically found in discussions on peak performance, it turns out there’s something here for all of us. 

In th...

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What if there’s nothing to fix? What if you could just, you know, be yourself - whatever that looks like today? 


When I told people that this week’s guest was none other than adrienne maree brown - the excitement level was off the charts. adrienne maree brown is the author of Emergent Strategy and Pleasure Activism, among other works, and she’s instrumental in opening conversations about bodies, power, grief, and change (person...

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Can you hide in plain sight?

From trans beauty pageants in the Philippines, to the catwalks of New York City fashion week, to the Ted Talk mainstage – Filipina-American model Geena Rocero has lived an astounding life. This week on It’s OK that You’re Not OK, the author of Horse Barbie: A Memoir shares what it costs to suppress your true self in order to find safety and success, and why joy is powerful medicine. 



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Whether you’re interested in social justice or not, there’s no denying the grief simmering beneath the surface of daily life. It’s in our personal lives, it’s in the news, it’s in our communities. The thing is - we never really talk about it: just how much grief connects us. 


If we learn to lean into that grief together, we might really create the beautiful world we all long for. 


Malkia Devich-Cyril knows grief from the in...

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Have you ever put on a face mask, expecting it to solve all your mental health problems? 


That seems… unrealistic, but that’s what self-care marketing tells us: get your self care right, and all your difficulties will evaporate.

This week, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin breaks down what “self-care” actually means when we’re living in a complex, capitalistic world. It’s an exploration of grief, burnout, and exhaustion, and what it t...

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We’re in a massive climate crisis, but it’s hard to think about it, isn’t it? 


It’s a great temptation to shut our eyes to climate change. It’s overwhelming. This week on the show, climate activist and author Bill McKibben on facing the reality of the climate crisis, understanding what needs to change, and what you can do - not just to change the course of humanity and the planet, but to feel more hopeful and connected as this ...

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Can grief be an opportunity for growth and self-understanding?

The answer, of course, is yes: but it’s a bit more complex than that. This week, author, philanthropist, activist Rachel Cargle on survival optimism, the resilience narrative, and why questioning the stories you tell yourself - with curiosity and kindness - is a powerful path of healing. 


In this episode we cover: 

  • How was grief mod...
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How do we live in a world that’s at least half terrible, and that is a conservative estimate?

If you recognize that line, you already know Maggie Smith. This week on the show, we’re talking about writing, marriage, divorce, and why you didn’t need whatever happened to you in order to become who you’re meant to be: as Maggie says, “trauma does not give you a “glow up.”” 


If you’ve ever wanted to write the story of your li...

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“Wonder is the root of love, the lack of wonder is the root of violence.” 

Is there a way to create boundaries with someone who wishes to cause harm? Can you love them and hold them accountable? Do you have to fight for a just world for everyone?

Valarie Kaur is no stranger to violence. As a Sikh, as a woman, as a person of color, violence has shaped both her activism and her deep sense of community care. Her Revolutio...

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If you try to not let something define you, can it define you anyway? 


You might know Chase Jarvis as an Emmy nominated photographer, founder of Creative Live, and angel investor. The world of venture capital and billion dollar deals isn’t exactly known for its human side, but Chase’s kindness and vulnerability are legendary. 


In part two of our conversation, we get into a deep discussion over whether a successful person is...

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Have you ever felt something, then immediately “disqualified” yourself from feeling it? As if you don’t have the right to feel what you’re feeling? 


Chase Jarvis is a very successful man. He’s also kind, and thoughtful, and actively exploring his own ideas of himself. If you’ve heard Chase speak before, this is a very different kind of conversation. 


We make a lot of invisible things visible in this episode, from the creati...

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What would a meaningful life look like for you?

According to Death Doula Alua Arthur, conversations about death can be the most enriching conversations we have. It’s not about accepting death, or avoiding grief - it’s about building a relationship with yourself and others that doesn’t hold anything back. Why should you listen? Yeah, because you’re mortal and one day you'll die, but more importantly: because one day, hopeful...

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Midlife has a lot of messy stuff in it: divorce, the death of your parents, menopause, health scares, empty nests, career changes, feeling increasingly irrelevant - “midlife” has terrible branding, according to author, modern elder, hospitality expert, and CEO and co-founder of Modern Elder Academy Chip Conley. 


What if midlife (and beyond) could include an ever deepening sense of self and more satisfying connections - right al...

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Look, there are some things in life - a LOT of things in life - that just can’t be fixed or made better, you have to figure out how you’re going to live with them. If you’ve ever felt othered and invisible because of an illness or disability - this episode is for you. If you’ve ever loved someone with a chronic illness, or you’re a medical provider in any capacity, this episode is 3000% for you. And if you’re grieving some other lo...

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Can you heal pain by focusing on joy? 


Baratunde Thurston gave what’s been called “the greatest TED talk of all time.” He’s written about being Black in America, he’s got a podcast about community involvement called How to Citizen, and he’s got a television show that explores the beauty and diversity of America. 


There’s a duality running through all of this work, and in Baratunde’s personal life: mourning and celebration. ...

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