February 25, 2025 • 40 mins
This week, Tommy is joined by actor Anthony Keyvan! Anthony has been portraying roles in both film and television since he was five years old, but he became a household name by playing Rahim, an unrestrained and hysterical queer student in the series Love Victor. Now you know and love him from his starring role in XO, Kitty on Netflix, playing the lovable character of Q who also explores themes of identity within the LGBTQ+ community. Anthony plays Kitty’s best friend and every line he delivers is comedic gold. XO, Kitty is a coming-of-age story that is often praised for unpacking issues that are top of mind for teens, but it’s a series that people of all ages can relate to. Today, Anthony opens up about how he’s adjusting to all of the success surrounding XO, Kitty, why telling stories where people feel seen and represented is so important to him, the recent news of the Season 3 pick up, why playing his character Q is therapeutic, his first in-person meeting with co-star Anna Cathcart, the beautiful friendship they quickly formed, what he hopes to see for his character in Season 3, if he is Team #Minho, why playing a character who is half-Iranian and half-Filipino is so meaningful, what growing up in front of the world has been like, hardships he’s overcome working in Hollywood, the decision he made to open up about his mental health journey, where he is today with his mental health, how he almost passed on the opportunity to be in XO, Kitty and so much more.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys, welcome to I've never said this before with me,
Tommy di Dario, it is always so much fun for
me to have an artist on my show whose work
makes so many people feel seen. That is the power
of TV and film. I always say it. It's the
way that a character can make someone feel, I don't know,
a little less alone in the world. It's just so awesome,
(00:21):
and that is exactly what my guest today has become
known for. Anthony kay Vaughan joins my show who you
most likely are currently watching in the smash hit Netflix
series Exo Kitty, which just got renewed for a much
deserved season three. Anthony has been portraying various roles in
film and TV since five years old, but perhaps became
a household name by playing raheem and unrestrained and hysterical
(00:44):
queer student in the series Love Victor. Now in Nexokitty,
his character Q also explores themes of identity within the
LGBTQ plus community as he navigates his relationship with a
fellow athlete. He also plays Kitty's best friend, and every
line he delivers Ugh his comedic gold. He's an actor
that you very much sh be keeping your eyes on
(01:04):
because he is a rising star in Hollywood. So let's
see if today we can get Anthony to say something
that he has never said before.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Anthony, how are you? My friend? It's so good to
be with you.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
I'm doing good. Good to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Thank you for having me, Happy to have you.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
You have so much going on, so many exciting things
are happening in your life. I know there's some big
news that we are fresh off of, which we're going
to dive into all of that. But first of all, like,
how has this whirlwind been for you? You know, the
show Likes So Kiddy Season two came out. I imagine
it's just like a roller coaster that you're just kind
of strapped onto.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Right, Yeah, a bit. It's very surreal. I from the beginning,
I keep pinching myself because I don't know. I have
like this crazy imposter syndrome. I feel like I've been
doing this a long time, but every day I feel
like am I supposed to be doing this? Like? Is
this real? Is this actually happening? Like I'm very pessimistic
(02:05):
about it all, but it is insane how amazing this
journey has been and how successful the show has been
so Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
It's so funny that such a seasoned actor and artist
like yourself still feels like that, like even in the
game since you were five, and you're You're like, should
I be here?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Like that's wild to me.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
I don't know. I mean, I think I've just been
dealing with a lot of rejection over the years. I'm
like conditioned to believe that this isn't real, this isn't happening.
But I don't know, I've put in a lot of work,
a lot of time, so I have to like remind
myself sometimes that like it's okay to be okay with
all of this.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah, like to allow yourself like, oh wow, I can
enjoy the success because it's happening then and I'm here,
and like I imagine you have to remind yourself to
kind of live in that moment too.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Yeah I do. I do, And like my castmates are
great at reminding me, especially like she and I kind
of like have the same mindset when it comes to
this kind of stuff, like no way we're doing this
right now, like this is this isn't happening, like that
we don't deserve this, this is crazy. But then we
have to like remind ourselves, like, no, no, We've worked
our whole lives to be here. We are here because
(03:18):
we are the best people for the job, and that's okay.
We need to just understand that at this point.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Do you think that comes from, like you said, so
much rejection over the years that you just almost can't
believe you are at this point of your life and
point in your career, or what do you think that
it stems from? Because I look at you and I'm like, man,
he's been on successful shows and he's a small percentage
of people actually doing it. So it's so strange from
an outside perspective to hear someone like you be like,
(03:46):
oh my god, I feel like I'm I'm suffering from
imposter syndrome. More like it can be taken away because
I'm like, you're in it, You're doing it.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
I think it's just yeah, I think it has been
just I mean, for every job that I have, there
are a hundred, if not a thousand no's, So it
is kind of like, is this actually happening? Or I
have to be very cautious with my excitement when it
comes to these kinds of things, Like I've done a
(04:14):
ton of pilots that never went to series. I've been
given jobs that were actually like actually, just kidding, we're
going to give it to someone else. And I've been
in that position where I was the guy who was
given the job after someone else has been cast. So
there's just so much volatility in this industry that, like
it's I try not to get excited until I'm like, actually, there,
(04:38):
the ink is dry and I'm in front of the
camera because then it's like, okay, well, at least even
if they do fire me, I'll still get paid for.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
This, right, right. And it's self protection, right, I get it.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I get that you want to guard your feelings and
kind of guard your heart before you get super excited
about something. I think that's relatable to people in many
different professions as well. But I hope you've been taking
a minute to you celebrate as much as you can
everything you've accomplished, especially with XO Kitty and your entire career.
I think it's really cool because you're someone who seems
to find themselves in these sort of coming of age
(05:12):
stories and they resonate in such a big way with
so many people because it's so relatable. So for you,
what do you love about being a part of that genre?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
So to speak?
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Yeah, I mean I never really intended for this to happen,
like so close in proximity to the last job. But
I love telling these stories because there's an element of
realness to them and like all of these stories, I
feel someone has been in these shoes before, and it's
amazing to get to like walk those same footsteps as
(05:45):
someone else and like show that representation and be a
part of this story, whether it be a queer coming
of age story or just like a kid figuring their
shit out? Can I cuss on your you? Can?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
You can say whatever you want on here.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
And like for some and like myself, I look up
to the people that I'm working with, like if I'm
putting myself in my sixteen year old shoes, like I
would be watching these shows and feel seen and feel
heard so and just like reading the messages that people
have sent and seeing how much these performances and these
stories has impacted them, it makes it so worth it.
(06:23):
And like I don't know, again, I never saw myself
in this genre growing up. I never thought like, oh
I want to be doing like why shows, but they
are so important and they are so needed. I feel like,
so it's been really cool that I've gotten to do
what I've been doing for the past few years and
(06:44):
continuing to do it.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
And what's so cool about your work is I think
back at some of those more coming of age stories
that I grew up with, and throughout my life I
can kind of pinpoint the moments that made me look
back at those shows or movies and made me think like,
oh yeah, I felt totally seen and like I could
relate to that moment in my own life, and I
think that's something people carry with them forever. So in
(07:06):
some ways, you know, all genres are great and important,
but in some ways, this genre is I think so
personal for so many people.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
I agree and like, just like what you were saying.
I get stopped sometimes by grown men who are like
your performance on The Victor has resonated with me so
much like and that to me is like, Wow, this
isn't just for like people coming of age. This is
for people of all ages who didn't get these stories
or media representation in their childhoods or in their growing
(07:39):
up and now are seeing it and it's like healing
the inner child within them and it's it's really an
honor to do what I do and to be a
part of someone's like coming of age story. So yeah,
I don't know. I think I'm rambling, but it really
is to a freaking, like weird but amazing and special,
(08:06):
magical thing that I get to do, and I never
ever imagined it would be this impactful.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Well, and for that reason, and among many other reasons,
people are so psyched that a season three just got announced.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Were you were you? Did you have a feeling that
was coming?
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Were you like, all right, we got this or how
does that work for you when you let go of
a season you're waiting for a new pickup?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Were you mentally?
Speaker 3 (08:28):
You know? It's so interesting because if you had asked
me two years ago while we were filming season one,
I honestly was like, Oh, I feel like this is
such a niche show. No one's really gonna watch it.
Like I fully wrote it off in my head that
this is going to be a one season show. It's
going to go away and no one's going to talk
about it. And then the show came out for season
(08:49):
one and the audience reaction was so intense. I was
really taken aback by it all, and then we immediately
got a second season, and then the strike happened and
then we didn't hear anything. We went dark for like
eight months. So I was like, oh, maybe our show
is just going to go away like so many other
(09:10):
shows did. But no, like Netflix and the studio were like,
we're going back as soon as the strike is over,
We're going back, and we did it. So coming into
season two, I felt like really confident that people the audience,
the creatives, and the people at the studio were confident
in us and our show. So when season two came out,
(09:31):
I felt honestly like, yeah, I think we are going
to do a third season. Everyone's been talking about it.
While we were filming season two. They were already talking
about season three. But it's easy to fall back into
that kind of pessimistic mindset that I've been conditioned to
have growing up, that like, okay, yeah, well, you know,
you can't take everyone's word for it, Like people say
(09:54):
things all the time and then it doesn't come to fruition.
But I don't know. Usually I'm like checking every day
with my team. Have we heard anything yet? Have we
gotten a pick up letter? Has the studio reached out
for dates yet, and I didn't this time. I was
just kind of like, I think, I honestly think it's
going to happen, and I think I can say this.
(10:14):
Back in October, I found out that the writers went
back in the room and started writing season three. So
I'm like, this is all like all signs are pointing
to yes. And so I didn't lose any sleep over it.
I honestly was like, it's a good chance that it's
going to happen. I'm prepping myself. I'm like buying all
the things that I need from when we go back
to Korea. So I just kind of had that in
(10:37):
my head that it was going to happen. And then
Jessica called us a few weeks ago, our showrunner, and
told us the news, and it was almost like yeah,
I figured, yeah, we're going back, We're going back, and
like I was like, oh my gosh, yes, yes, yes,
Like I feel like I normally would have because something
just inside me knew that this story wasn't done being
(11:00):
told yet.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Look at that.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
That is what I think is called growth, Right, You're
like stepping out of that pessimistic mindset and allowing what
you deserve to come your way and being like yeah, cool,
that feels right, okay, awesome, which which is pretty right
on your character. He's people just adore him. Q means
so much to so many people. He's very confident and
put together and you know, sure of himself.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Are you all those things? Can you relate to Q?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
My god?
Speaker 3 (11:28):
No, no, no no. It's so fun playing C because
it gets it feels like I'm playing like a way
more confident version of myself. I always said this, like
I've never felt more comfortable than when I'm pretending to
be somebody else. This is why I do my job.
Like I am one of the most anxiety people you'll
ever meet. So getting to like play a character who's
(11:50):
popular in high school and is confident in his own skin,
it's not something that I normally am, or was when
I was Q's age, because I think you, like sixteen seventeen.
I'm twenty four now and I'm still working on all
of this. So it's nice to play these characters because
I get to take pieces of them. It's like my
own kind of like therapy, which sounds so messed up,
(12:11):
but like I see what Q's capable of and I'm like, well,
if he can do it, then I can do it,
and I take that home with me sometimes. So to
answer your question, no, I don't feel like I am
like Q in a lot of ways, but I am
starting to grow into that a little bit and take
parts of him with me when I go home.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Well that's pretty cool, and that's that's always fun to
me when I think an artist can learn from who
they're playing and pull something from at least you know,
their their life to better enrich your own, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Usually it's the other way around, Like you put your
own personal experiences into your characters, and honestly, like that
does work too. But for the characters that I have
been playing recently, I've learned a lot about myself because
of playing them, and it's like someone's giving them a
script already and I know the outcome and so I
get to like play with that in my real life.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Well that's cool, though, because that tells me you're someone
who's very open to growth and learning and not, you know,
not digging your feet in the ground and saying I
am who I am and there's no room for change.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
It's like, no, I want to be better. I want
to keep evolving.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, that's why we're put on this earth. Like people
think when you graduate high school, you got everything figured out,
and that's not the case. Like I am constantly learning
and having life lessons being taught to me all the time.
And that's what I think is like beautiful about doing
my job is I get to meet so many new people,
experience different cultures, and continue to grow. Like that's all
(13:41):
that I really want to do as a person and
an artist.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
You work with Anna Cathcart very closely. You play her
best friend. I had her on my show. She adores you.
I imagine working with her is just the best.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
It really is. It's funny because we didn't know each
other prior to the show. We had one like chemistry read,
but it was over zoom and so like we didn't
really get a feel for each other. And I remember
we were about to start filming season one. We had
just kind of like landed in Korea, and I was
walking out of the hotel and she was being driven
(14:21):
back into the hotel like in the ballet area, and
she like swings open the van door and I look behind.
I'm like, are you Anna, And she's like, are you Anthony?
And like we like run and like it's almost like
that season two episode one scene where we like embrace
each other and like spin around and we're like, I'm
so happy to meet you. And from that moment on,
I was like, this girl is real. She's not some
(14:44):
random little screen on my computer. She's a real person.
And we clicked immediately. And I think also because the
both of us had quite a bit of an experience
in the industry, whereas like a lot of our cast
members were pretty green and didn't have a lot of
well some of them actually never had worked or acted before,
(15:05):
so there was that kind of like mutual understanding of like, Okay,
we're entering a new space and we're going to be
in Korea and doing this thing together with a bunch
of people who don't really know what's going on. So
we immediately bonded on that. And also, like our scenes
just kind of like flew by, we were the ones
(15:25):
that like the eighties would come up to us and
be like we knew you'd be able to get us
home on time, and that it was just like fun
to be able to do that for our show and
with each other. And I just remember like season two,
we had one scene. It was the first scene for
me of the season, and the sun was setting and
(15:47):
it was an outdoor scene and we only had like
fifteen minutes to get this scene in both of our coverage,
which isn't a lot of time. And then we started
rehearsing as they're setting up camera and I remember the
script supervisors like you what are you reading? We're like
the scene? What do you mean? This is the scene?
And she's like that's not the scene anymore. And I'm like,
(16:08):
we didn't get the new pages because like sometimes they
like print out stuff like day of and then they
expect you to like memorize it, and they someone forgot
to like give us a new so they gave us
the new pages, and I remember us like yelling the
lines at each other and then they're like almost done
setting up and they like finished setting up and they're like, okay,
hate your marks. And then we do the scene. We
(16:30):
did it in like two takes, and I remember us
looking at each other and be like, we're so back.
We're so back, Like we have this amazing chemistry on
and off camera, and I love working with the girl
because it's just so obvious to everyone else. And it's
so easy. That's what. That's the best way I can
explain our work, our professional and our personal relationship is
(16:50):
just easy.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Well to the point of I think people confuse the
both of you with your characters because it feels so natural,
you know what I mean. Yeah, that's awesome. That's a
testament to the work that you guys do well. I
know people are so excited for more of that in
season three. And you've shared a little bit about what
you want to see for your character in season three,
But is there anything else that you haven't really said
(17:12):
yet that you want to explore for Q?
Speaker 3 (17:15):
I don't know, Like I kind of want him to
have his own love triangle, some drama for Q, because
I feel like you's the one that's always like so
put together and like has everything figured out and isn't
like the one that the drama or the chaos is surrounding.
So it'd be cool to like get to step into
kiddy shoes a little bit and like, look some shit up.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Yeah. Do you ever have say in what happens to
your character or No?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
I mean, like I can I can talk to the
writers and ask them, like, Hey, what are you thinking
for this like what if we did that? I was
very adamant on like being true to myself in terms
of my heritage and like having them add that we
were I was Iranian and Filipino and they were super that,
which I'm very grateful for. But as in terms of story,
(18:03):
like that's the writer's job, I have no say, Like
my job is to say the lines, basically, but like
it is nice to like kind of, you know, go
in and be like, what if we did this? And
usually they're very collaborative and very open to what I
like suggestions I have, but no, I have no idea
what's in store first. I mean I have a little
bit of an idea, but I don't know what's actually
(18:25):
written and what's on paper.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
I would be so tempted to be hounding the writers like, hey,
have you worked on anything today?
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Anything takes a lot.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
It takes a lot to not be like that because
I used to be like, so, what's happening? What's happening?
And like nine times out of ten, like if you're
filming season two and you're like, what are you thinking
for season three? They'll give you ideas, but those things
change so much, like based off of audience reaction of
the season. The studio has opinions, the network has opinions
(18:54):
of what they want the show to look like, so
like they could have ideas, but like it could be
completely different by the time you actually start filming the season,
which has happened on every show that I've been.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
On so on. Behalf of all the fans.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
When I announced you as my guest, I feel like
it is my duty to ask you this question.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
You look nervous.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
I'm a little nervous.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
I know I just made it very dramatic.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
People are very interested who you want the endgame for
Kitty to be.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
I knew this was coming, did you? I knew this
was coming. Yeah. Everyone always wants to know this answer.
I okay, how do I say this? I really hope
that whatever happens in terms of Kitty's love story is
what she wants. I hope that it is a relationship
(19:47):
of growth and understanding. I think, and this is I
don't want to be like I don't want anyone to
take this as the word of Exokitty. I have a
feeling it could be minho. Just the way that the
writing has gone, it is very like k drama. E
of them to do the slow burn. I can see
(20:08):
it happening that way, but at the same time our
show is constantly throwing curveballs, So season three, something else
could happen. I have no idea, but for me as
me personally as a viewer, I think Kitty and Minho
are really cute. But I love the that she got
(20:28):
to explore that with Yuri as well in season two
because she is by and that's you know, there's I
feel like a lot of people have opinions on like
a bygirl ending up with a boy, which some of
it's valid and some of it's not. And I just
really want Kitty to be happy. That's all I want.
Like the whole reason why she came to Korea was
to discover herself and what she wants and understand who
(20:53):
she is in terms of who she loves and who
her family is. So I just want to see Kitty
like just for that and be okay, that's really my goal.
I hope that was sufficient enough answer.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
That is that's a good answer.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
That was spoken like a true best friend in character
and out of character Kidi and Annas, So I think
that's that's.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Really really cool.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
I love that you play these characters who, just as
I alluded to earlier, means so much to so many people.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Of course, from Le Victor to this show.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
The representation alone that you provide through your work for
so many is something that just makes it makes people
feel like, oh my god, I may not have this
in my small hometown, but I can see it on
screen and I feel like, okay, cool, Like I am valid.
I'm seeing things are going to get better for me.
I imagine for you. You must wear that badge of honor with pride.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Yeah, it's a complete honor. Again, I told, like I said,
I never expected my career to be and it's such
an amazing surprise and such an honor. So yeah, absolutely,
I take that with so much pride, and I am
so grateful that I get to be that like beacon
(22:14):
of representation to so many people across so many different spectrums.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
It's sexuality, it's ethnicity, it's a race, it's all of it.
And I love that you told the writers it was
really important for you to truly show you know where
you're from in this character, and that's something that you,
I know, didn't always get the chance to do growing up,
and you don't always feel like you fit in a
box in terms of representation, and you know.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
You can pass.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I think you've said you can pass for different things,
but you want to make sure people know, like, this
is my background, and I imagine that for you also
makes playing Q so important because you're allowing your heritage,
your background, to truly be seen.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Absolutely. I mean my entire career, I've played characters that
I can't couldn't relate to on a personal level because
of where their background, who they are in terms of
their background, Like I know I look a certain way,
but that doesn't mean that I can bring the authenticity
required for someone who speaks Spanish or comes from a
(23:17):
Puerto Rican background. And I've played so many of those
characters before, and I got to a point where I
was like, at some point, I'm taking this opportunity away
from someone else who could bring forward that authenticity that
I just couldn't. Like, yeah, I can speak Spanish. I
took Spanish for years in school, but I didn't grow
(23:37):
up speaking it like in my home. I didn't grow
up eating the foods that these characters are talking about
in their shows. So when I finally felt like I
reached a point in my career where I did have
some sort of say in that, And when I got
the audition for Q, it was like Middle Eastern ambiguous
(24:03):
or like North African, And so when I got closer
to actually like getting the job, I was like, I
would really love it if we could do this instead,
because I could play this, but it wouldn't feel real
to me, and whoever's watching this, if they look me up,
they'll see, oh, he's not actually this that or the other,
(24:25):
and it would just feel an authentic And our show
is so diverse and it has so many areas of representation,
it would feel weird to have like one of the
main characters not represent that. And luckily Jenny and Sasha
were super down. They were so down to do it,
and I was able to like bring in little bits
(24:48):
and pieces of that throughout both seasons, and like certain lines,
I'd drop hints that I, oh, you know, I'm from
the Philippines or my mom's Filipino and my Lola made
this and da da da da da so and I
feel like the fans of the Filipino fans especially were
super grateful for that. I get so many dms and comments,
are like, when you mentioned this, I felt so much pride,
(25:10):
and that's so important to me and I never had
experienced that before. So yeah, I think, you know, going forward,
if I were to hopefully continue to do my job,
would love to continue that conversation with the creatives and
hopefully continue doing the same thing in terms of representation.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Anthony, it's so wild to me that you've grown up
in this business because you seemingly are so grounded and
you know, live your life from a place of gratitude
and haven't gone to a place where sometimes people who
think artists who grow up in the business can potentially
go to.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
And I don't know.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
I think about me sometimes in that respect, and I'm like,
if I grew up in front of a public facing forum, Laurie,
it would be I was I would be a hot mess,
Like I don't know how I would do it. So
has that been a weird experience for you? And how
do you stay so kind of level headed? Because it
really is seemingly who you are to me, at least
from just meeting you.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Well, thank you for that. I have been in therapy
for quite a while, which has helped because there's a
lot of like fakeness in this industry and like faking
it till you make it kind of thing. And like
I said, the imposter syndrome is a huge thing that
I continue to deal with. But honestly, my parents have
helped me so much in terms of staying grounded, Like
(26:40):
they keep me humble. They don't fluff up any of this.
They're just like, oh, okay, so when's your next job?
Like when are you getting your next job? Though, like
it's it's not special to them anymore, which helps me
a lot. Kind of keeping that groundedness in a way,
and also just remembering where I came from, like it
(27:02):
was a struggle to get here. You know, my mom
quit her job she was climbing the corporate ladder and
put her career aspirations on hold so that I could
follow my dreams. And my dad took up a second
job and he was mopping floors at one point to
keep the lights on so that I can continue to
(27:22):
do what I'm doing. And none of that is lost
on me. I remember when I'd done this independent film
when I was nine or ten years old, and it
had premiered at Tribeca Film Festival and we couldn't afford
to go and everyone in our family pitched in for
(27:43):
airfare and hotels and we all went and saw my movie,
and that I remember to this day that like every
person in my family has helped me get to where
I am. This isn't just because I'm super talented and
need like and very like deserving of being here. Everybody
(28:04):
has put in work and sacrifices so that I could
do this. So it's that concept reminder that like, I'm
not doing this just for me, I'm doing this for
every person in my family who's had a little piece
of the puzzle in terms of my journey. So yeah,
I don't know, and like seeing my parents who are
(28:25):
still working today and my brother who's going to college,
like everything else in my life is very very normal,
So doing what I'm doing, it's a constant reminder that
this is like once in a lifetime opportunity and that
I'm getting to follow my dream right now, and this
isn't normal for most people.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah, well that's probably what makes it so much more
rewarding for you, And you truly do come from a
place of feeling grateful for everything that's come your way,
and it's hard, as you said, you know, like I
think therapy is such an amazing thing, and there's some
much noise in the business, and there's a lot that
you kind of have to try to tune out of
for your own protection of your mental health. And I
know you've very, very publicly spoken about the importance of
(29:11):
being good to your mental health and taking care of yourself.
Was that an easy choice for you to make, because
I feel like even ten years ago, a lot of
artists would choose not to talk about that.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
Yes and no. I both of my parents are immigrants,
so like the idea of therapy was a little weird
for them, and they were like, you don't need therapy,
You're fine. What's wrong with you? Like you got food
in your belly and a roof over your head, like
everything's fine, So like kind of breaking that mold a
little bit. I went into therapy when I was nineteen,
(29:44):
and it was because I didn't like my own thoughts,
Like I didn't like being alone with my own thoughts.
I was the type of person that I had constant distractions.
I was always hanging out with people, I was always
making plans so I didn't have to think about anything.
And it was right before COVID and right after I
(30:07):
had done like my third pilot that didn't go to series,
and I was just at a really low point and
I didn't I didn't want to be like that anymore.
I didn't want to feel like that, and I went
and saw a psychiatrist. I literally like took my insurance
card and on the backside it was like mental and
behavioral therapy called this number, and I called the number
(30:30):
and I was like, I don't know what I need
right now, but I don't want to feel like this.
And I found a psychiatrist and I found a therapist
and it was so life changing. I put my guard down.
I left that stigma that therapy is for the week behind,
because that's how I was raised. And I finally like
(30:52):
left everything out on the table and allowed myself to
like heal and growing up doing what I'm doing. Like
there's a lot of damage done. There's so much Like
I've had casting directors tell me when I was younger
that I was like chubby and that I wasn't going
to get the role because I looked fifteen pounds heavier
(31:14):
than my headshot was and say the most awful things
you could say to a kid. I had a makeup
artist tell me that I was growing a unibrow and
she was annoyed that she had to pluck it. Like,
I'm thirteen, Like I'm going through changes in puberty. You're
putting these thoughts in my head. So going through and
(31:35):
breaking all that down and understanding where I am right
now and like why I got there was super important
to me so that I could continue to live normally.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Yeah, change of that, Yeah, I know, And thank you
for sharing.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
That's so it's so wild to me that as we
grow up and we evolve and we are growing into
who are meant to be, that so many out side
factors and noises in people's opinions are the most damaging.
And it's like, well I was fine before you said that,
but now that you said that.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
You're kind of in my head, right.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Yeah, So it's such a wild thing. But that's awesome
that you do talk about it, and I know it
means a lot to so many people who do follow you,
and I'm a huge proponent of all of that. So
really really really happy that people like you who have
platforms do talk about that. As we wrap up, I mean,
I could talk to you for four more hours, but
I won't take up your whole day. The name of
(32:33):
the show is called I've never said this before, And
I cover a lot of red carpets and movie premieres
and junkets, and you're no stranger to them, and you get,
you know, a minute and a half on a carpet
or six minutes at a junket, and I just saw
people longing to speak about other things than just SoundBite
movie or TV show conversation. It was like something in
their eyes like, Oh, I feel like if we had
(32:53):
for a few more minutes, they would reveal something that
they don't get to always share, give us a little
more insight into who they are.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
And it's so hard in those settings. So that's how
this show was born.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
So while you've been so open and completely vulnerable today already,
I feel like, is there anything else that you can
think of that you've never said before that you want
to share today?
Speaker 3 (33:13):
Yeah? I mean, I'm not gonna lie. I was like,
oh God, what am I going to say? Like there's
so many ways I could go about this, But actually
I realized this last night in the shower. I was like, wait,
I had never actually talked about this before, and it's
the fact that I actually passed on the audition for
(33:33):
Exo Kitty, and I was not wanting to do the
show at first, Like I wasn't familiar with the films.
I mean I was, but I hadn't watched them before
and I didn't want to. I was already on a
YA Show spinoff series of a YA movie. I was like,
this feels like a lateral move for me, and I
(33:56):
just wasn't. I didn't want to do it, and so
I had passed on the audition because the casting director
actually reached out to my team to have me tape.
I was like, I don't know, like this doesn't feel
like the right move for me, and I passed and
they came back and they're like, we really really want
Anthony to tape. And I was like, okay, all right,
(34:18):
I'll tape. I'll I'm sure someone else will catch their
eye and I'll just be one of a thousand tapes.
So I taped again and or a taped for the
first time, and they came back and they were like,
oh my god, that was a great tape. We're gonna
pin Anthony. And I was like, what you mean, You're
gonna pend me? And then they were like, can he
(34:39):
send another tape with an accent because they didn't know
where they wanted the character to go, and I was like,
I don't. I don't want to. I don't want to
be locked on a show playing a character with an accent,
like I feel like it could come off as like
a caricature of a middle Easter in person, and that
doesn't feel right to me. And so they said, well,
(35:01):
if you don't send another tape, we're going to release
your pin and I was like, okay, I'll send a tape.
And I sent a tape with the worst accent possible
because I was like, you're going to hate this, like
I know you're going to hate it, and I made
it like the worst and they came back and they're like,
you're right, don't we don't want an accent. I was
like okay, and then I was still like on the fence.
(35:22):
I was like, I don't know if I want to
be like typecast as the gay best friend. I don't
think I want to be in Korea. Like I had
so many like mental blockages that I was just not
open to the idea, which is so wild to me.
Now I'm like, I want to go back and like
shake my twenty year old self and be like, what
(35:44):
the hell were you thinking? But that's also like a
testament to I do believe that what you were meant
to do is already written for you, like you you know,
fate is a real thing, Like, yes, you can alter
some things, but your path is your path. And this
was very It became very adamant to me that this,
no matter what I tried, like this was going to
(36:06):
be part of my journey, and I'm so grateful for it.
Like looking back now, I'm like, I am so glad
I sent those tapes and I ended up doing this
show because I have some of the best friends in
my life who are going to be at my wedding
one day probably and be a part of my life forever.
And I have these like I never went to college,
so like this was like my semesters abroad in a way,
(36:29):
I discovered so much about myself and not only as
a person but as an artist. So I am very,
very grateful for the opportunity to get this job. But
it's just wild to me that I at one point
was not wanting to do it and was super closed
off to the idea and that I actually fully passed
(36:50):
on the show and was like, this isn't for me.
I want to slap myself right now.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
It's so hard to imagine you not in that role
I've been for everybody. I mean, it's it's just you
make it seem so seamless.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
It's wild to me that, like if I was like
put my foot down and was like, no, I'm not
doing this show, that someone else would be playing this
character and it just it doesn't feel right. And I'm
so so glad that I listened to my team. Everyone
was telling me like, what do you This is a
huge piece of IP, Like this is a really big show.
It's a Netflix, for God's sake. So I was like, oh,
(37:26):
if I want to do it, I don't want to
be in Korea. That seems really far. And it was
really it was the imposter syndrome. I didn't believe that
I deserved a job like that. I think I think
I was scared to like put myself in those shoes
and be like one of the leads of a show
in Korea that's groundbreaking in so many ways. I was
(37:49):
so close off to the idea and I'm like, I
can't I cannot believe that. I I'm so sorry, Jenny Hawn, like,
I'm sorry I put you all through that, like they
and they kept saying like we want you, this is
this job is for you, Like people at the studio
are like, there's no one else and I was, I
was so close off to the idea and it's just
(38:10):
insane to me. But I'm so glad that everything worked out.
I'm really really glad that I took the chance and
that they took the chance on me, because I can't
imagine my life without this show now.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
I think that story is the perfect example of sometimes
the things in life that you were the most afraid
of reap the biggest rewards. So the lesson here is
if it's scarce the shit out of you for everybody listening,
just do it, just do it, because look what can happen. Yeah, Oh, Anthony,
that's a great story. What a great way to end
(38:42):
this episode. I'm so happy we could connect and that
you could come on. I, like I said, I could
talk to you for four more hours. I think you're
just an awesome artist and an awesome human and we
look forward to just following your career.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Thank you, Tommy. This has been a really refreshing take
on an interview, like I had the best start and
I really appreciate you sitting down with me.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Well, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Don't keep us waiting too long for season three now, Okay, hey, we're.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
We're gearing up, so don't you worry. We're gonna start soon.
I don't think I can talk about specific dates, but soon.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
All right, we'd love to hear it. And when you're
in New York, let me know.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
Sounds good.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Thanks for me, all right, be well you too.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
I've Never Said This Before is hosted by Me Tommy Dedario.
This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Piglici at iHeartRadio
and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've
Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Duran
podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review and
subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
(39:48):
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Dedario
Hey guys, welcome to I've never said this before with me,
Tommy di Dario, it is always so much fun for
me to have an artist on my show whose work
makes so many people feel seen. That is the power
of TV and film. I always say it. It's the
way that a character can make someone feel, I don't know,
a little less alone in the world. It's just so awesome,
(00:21):
and that is exactly what my guest today has become
known for. Anthony kay Vaughan joins my show who you
most likely are currently watching in the smash hit Netflix
series Exo Kitty, which just got renewed for a much
deserved season three. Anthony has been portraying various roles in
film and TV since five years old, but perhaps became
a household name by playing raheem and unrestrained and hysterical
(00:44):
queer student in the series Love Victor. Now in Nexokitty,
his character Q also explores themes of identity within the
LGBTQ plus community as he navigates his relationship with a
fellow athlete. He also plays Kitty's best friend, and every
line he delivers Ugh his comedic gold. He's an actor
that you very much sh be keeping your eyes on
(01:04):
because he is a rising star in Hollywood. So let's
see if today we can get Anthony to say something
that he has never said before.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Anthony, how are you? My friend? It's so good to
be with you.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
I'm doing good. Good to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Thank you for having me, Happy to have you.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
You have so much going on, so many exciting things
are happening in your life. I know there's some big
news that we are fresh off of, which we're going
to dive into all of that. But first of all, like,
how has this whirlwind been for you? You know, the
show Likes So Kiddy Season two came out. I imagine
it's just like a roller coaster that you're just kind
of strapped onto.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Right, Yeah, a bit. It's very surreal. I from the beginning,
I keep pinching myself because I don't know. I have
like this crazy imposter syndrome. I feel like I've been
doing this a long time, but every day I feel
like am I supposed to be doing this? Like? Is
this real? Is this actually happening? Like I'm very pessimistic
(02:05):
about it all, but it is insane how amazing this
journey has been and how successful the show has been
so Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
It's so funny that such a seasoned actor and artist
like yourself still feels like that, like even in the
game since you were five, and you're You're like, should
I be here?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Like that's wild to me.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
I don't know. I mean, I think I've just been
dealing with a lot of rejection over the years. I'm
like conditioned to believe that this isn't real, this isn't happening.
But I don't know, I've put in a lot of work,
a lot of time, so I have to like remind
myself sometimes that like it's okay to be okay with
all of this.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah, like to allow yourself like, oh wow, I can
enjoy the success because it's happening then and I'm here,
and like I imagine you have to remind yourself to
kind of live in that moment too.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Yeah I do. I do, And like my castmates are
great at reminding me, especially like she and I kind
of like have the same mindset when it comes to
this kind of stuff, like no way we're doing this
right now, like this is this isn't happening, like that
we don't deserve this, this is crazy. But then we
have to like remind ourselves, like, no, no, We've worked
our whole lives to be here. We are here because
(03:18):
we are the best people for the job, and that's okay.
We need to just understand that at this point.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Do you think that comes from, like you said, so
much rejection over the years that you just almost can't
believe you are at this point of your life and
point in your career, or what do you think that
it stems from? Because I look at you and I'm like, man,
he's been on successful shows and he's a small percentage
of people actually doing it. So it's so strange from
an outside perspective to hear someone like you be like,
(03:46):
oh my god, I feel like I'm I'm suffering from
imposter syndrome. More like it can be taken away because
I'm like, you're in it, You're doing it.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
I think it's just yeah, I think it has been
just I mean, for every job that I have, there
are a hundred, if not a thousand no's, So it
is kind of like, is this actually happening? Or I
have to be very cautious with my excitement when it
comes to these kinds of things, Like I've done a
(04:14):
ton of pilots that never went to series. I've been
given jobs that were actually like actually, just kidding, we're
going to give it to someone else. And I've been
in that position where I was the guy who was
given the job after someone else has been cast. So
there's just so much volatility in this industry that, like
it's I try not to get excited until I'm like, actually, there,
(04:38):
the ink is dry and I'm in front of the
camera because then it's like, okay, well, at least even
if they do fire me, I'll still get paid for.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
This, right, right. And it's self protection, right, I get it.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I get that you want to guard your feelings and
kind of guard your heart before you get super excited
about something. I think that's relatable to people in many
different professions as well. But I hope you've been taking
a minute to you celebrate as much as you can
everything you've accomplished, especially with XO Kitty and your entire career.
I think it's really cool because you're someone who seems
to find themselves in these sort of coming of age
(05:12):
stories and they resonate in such a big way with
so many people because it's so relatable. So for you,
what do you love about being a part of that genre?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
So to speak?
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Yeah, I mean I never really intended for this to happen,
like so close in proximity to the last job. But
I love telling these stories because there's an element of
realness to them and like all of these stories, I
feel someone has been in these shoes before, and it's
amazing to get to like walk those same footsteps as
(05:45):
someone else and like show that representation and be a
part of this story, whether it be a queer coming
of age story or just like a kid figuring their
shit out? Can I cuss on your you? Can?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
You can say whatever you want on here.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
And like for some and like myself, I look up
to the people that I'm working with, like if I'm
putting myself in my sixteen year old shoes, like I
would be watching these shows and feel seen and feel
heard so and just like reading the messages that people
have sent and seeing how much these performances and these
stories has impacted them, it makes it so worth it.
(06:23):
And like I don't know, again, I never saw myself
in this genre growing up. I never thought like, oh
I want to be doing like why shows, but they
are so important and they are so needed. I feel like,
so it's been really cool that I've gotten to do
what I've been doing for the past few years and
(06:44):
continuing to do it.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
And what's so cool about your work is I think
back at some of those more coming of age stories
that I grew up with, and throughout my life I
can kind of pinpoint the moments that made me look
back at those shows or movies and made me think like,
oh yeah, I felt totally seen and like I could
relate to that moment in my own life, and I
think that's something people carry with them forever. So in
(07:06):
some ways, you know, all genres are great and important,
but in some ways, this genre is I think so
personal for so many people.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
I agree and like, just like what you were saying.
I get stopped sometimes by grown men who are like
your performance on The Victor has resonated with me so
much like and that to me is like, Wow, this
isn't just for like people coming of age. This is
for people of all ages who didn't get these stories
or media representation in their childhoods or in their growing
(07:39):
up and now are seeing it and it's like healing
the inner child within them and it's it's really an
honor to do what I do and to be a
part of someone's like coming of age story. So yeah,
I don't know. I think I'm rambling, but it really
is to a freaking, like weird but amazing and special,
(08:06):
magical thing that I get to do, and I never
ever imagined it would be this impactful.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Well, and for that reason, and among many other reasons,
people are so psyched that a season three just got announced.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Were you were you? Did you have a feeling that
was coming?
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Were you like, all right, we got this or how
does that work for you when you let go of
a season you're waiting for a new pickup?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Were you mentally?
Speaker 3 (08:28):
You know? It's so interesting because if you had asked
me two years ago while we were filming season one,
I honestly was like, Oh, I feel like this is
such a niche show. No one's really gonna watch it.
Like I fully wrote it off in my head that
this is going to be a one season show. It's
going to go away and no one's going to talk
about it. And then the show came out for season
(08:49):
one and the audience reaction was so intense. I was
really taken aback by it all, and then we immediately
got a second season, and then the strike happened and
then we didn't hear anything. We went dark for like
eight months. So I was like, oh, maybe our show
is just going to go away like so many other
(09:10):
shows did. But no, like Netflix and the studio were like,
we're going back as soon as the strike is over,
We're going back, and we did it. So coming into
season two, I felt like really confident that people the audience,
the creatives, and the people at the studio were confident
in us and our show. So when season two came out,
(09:31):
I felt honestly like, yeah, I think we are going
to do a third season. Everyone's been talking about it.
While we were filming season two. They were already talking
about season three. But it's easy to fall back into
that kind of pessimistic mindset that I've been conditioned to
have growing up, that like, okay, yeah, well, you know,
you can't take everyone's word for it, Like people say
(09:54):
things all the time and then it doesn't come to fruition.
But I don't know. Usually I'm like checking every day
with my team. Have we heard anything yet? Have we
gotten a pick up letter? Has the studio reached out
for dates yet, and I didn't this time. I was
just kind of like, I think, I honestly think it's
going to happen, and I think I can say this.
(10:14):
Back in October, I found out that the writers went
back in the room and started writing season three. So
I'm like, this is all like all signs are pointing
to yes. And so I didn't lose any sleep over it.
I honestly was like, it's a good chance that it's
going to happen. I'm prepping myself. I'm like buying all
the things that I need from when we go back
to Korea. So I just kind of had that in
(10:37):
my head that it was going to happen. And then
Jessica called us a few weeks ago, our showrunner, and
told us the news, and it was almost like yeah,
I figured, yeah, we're going back, We're going back, and
like I was like, oh my gosh, yes, yes, yes,
Like I feel like I normally would have because something
just inside me knew that this story wasn't done being
(11:00):
told yet.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Look at that.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
That is what I think is called growth, Right, You're
like stepping out of that pessimistic mindset and allowing what
you deserve to come your way and being like yeah, cool,
that feels right, okay, awesome, which which is pretty right
on your character. He's people just adore him. Q means
so much to so many people. He's very confident and
put together and you know, sure of himself.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Are you all those things? Can you relate to Q?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
My god?
Speaker 3 (11:28):
No, no, no no. It's so fun playing C because
it gets it feels like I'm playing like a way
more confident version of myself. I always said this, like
I've never felt more comfortable than when I'm pretending to
be somebody else. This is why I do my job.
Like I am one of the most anxiety people you'll
ever meet. So getting to like play a character who's
(11:50):
popular in high school and is confident in his own skin,
it's not something that I normally am, or was when
I was Q's age, because I think you, like sixteen seventeen.
I'm twenty four now and I'm still working on all
of this. So it's nice to play these characters because
I get to take pieces of them. It's like my
own kind of like therapy, which sounds so messed up,
(12:11):
but like I see what Q's capable of and I'm like, well,
if he can do it, then I can do it,
and I take that home with me sometimes. So to
answer your question, no, I don't feel like I am
like Q in a lot of ways, but I am
starting to grow into that a little bit and take
parts of him with me when I go home.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Well that's pretty cool, and that's that's always fun to
me when I think an artist can learn from who
they're playing and pull something from at least you know,
their their life to better enrich your own, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Usually it's the other way around, Like you put your
own personal experiences into your characters, and honestly, like that
does work too. But for the characters that I have
been playing recently, I've learned a lot about myself because
of playing them, and it's like someone's giving them a
script already and I know the outcome and so I
get to like play with that in my real life.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Well that's cool, though, because that tells me you're someone
who's very open to growth and learning and not, you know,
not digging your feet in the ground and saying I
am who I am and there's no room for change.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
It's like, no, I want to be better. I want
to keep evolving.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, that's why we're put on this earth. Like people
think when you graduate high school, you got everything figured out,
and that's not the case. Like I am constantly learning
and having life lessons being taught to me all the time.
And that's what I think is like beautiful about doing
my job is I get to meet so many new people,
experience different cultures, and continue to grow. Like that's all
(13:41):
that I really want to do as a person and
an artist.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
You work with Anna Cathcart very closely. You play her
best friend. I had her on my show. She adores you.
I imagine working with her is just the best.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
It really is. It's funny because we didn't know each
other prior to the show. We had one like chemistry read,
but it was over zoom and so like we didn't
really get a feel for each other. And I remember
we were about to start filming season one. We had
just kind of like landed in Korea, and I was
walking out of the hotel and she was being driven
(14:21):
back into the hotel like in the ballet area, and
she like swings open the van door and I look behind.
I'm like, are you Anna, And she's like, are you Anthony?
And like we like run and like it's almost like
that season two episode one scene where we like embrace
each other and like spin around and we're like, I'm
so happy to meet you. And from that moment on,
I was like, this girl is real. She's not some
(14:44):
random little screen on my computer. She's a real person.
And we clicked immediately. And I think also because the
both of us had quite a bit of an experience
in the industry, whereas like a lot of our cast
members were pretty green and didn't have a lot of
well some of them actually never had worked or acted before,
(15:05):
so there was that kind of like mutual understanding of like, Okay,
we're entering a new space and we're going to be
in Korea and doing this thing together with a bunch
of people who don't really know what's going on. So
we immediately bonded on that. And also, like our scenes
just kind of like flew by, we were the ones
(15:25):
that like the eighties would come up to us and
be like we knew you'd be able to get us
home on time, and that it was just like fun
to be able to do that for our show and
with each other. And I just remember like season two,
we had one scene. It was the first scene for
me of the season, and the sun was setting and
(15:47):
it was an outdoor scene and we only had like
fifteen minutes to get this scene in both of our coverage,
which isn't a lot of time. And then we started
rehearsing as they're setting up camera and I remember the
script supervisors like you what are you reading? We're like
the scene? What do you mean? This is the scene?
And she's like that's not the scene anymore. And I'm like,
(16:08):
we didn't get the new pages because like sometimes they
like print out stuff like day of and then they
expect you to like memorize it, and they someone forgot
to like give us a new so they gave us
the new pages, and I remember us like yelling the
lines at each other and then they're like almost done
setting up and they like finished setting up and they're like, okay,
hate your marks. And then we do the scene. We
(16:30):
did it in like two takes, and I remember us
looking at each other and be like, we're so back.
We're so back, Like we have this amazing chemistry on
and off camera, and I love working with the girl
because it's just so obvious to everyone else. And it's
so easy. That's what. That's the best way I can
explain our work, our professional and our personal relationship is
(16:50):
just easy.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Well to the point of I think people confuse the
both of you with your characters because it feels so natural,
you know what I mean. Yeah, that's awesome. That's a
testament to the work that you guys do well. I
know people are so excited for more of that in
season three. And you've shared a little bit about what
you want to see for your character in season three,
But is there anything else that you haven't really said
(17:12):
yet that you want to explore for Q?
Speaker 3 (17:15):
I don't know, Like I kind of want him to
have his own love triangle, some drama for Q, because
I feel like you's the one that's always like so
put together and like has everything figured out and isn't
like the one that the drama or the chaos is surrounding.
So it'd be cool to like get to step into
kiddy shoes a little bit and like, look some shit up.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Yeah. Do you ever have say in what happens to
your character or No?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
I mean, like I can I can talk to the
writers and ask them, like, Hey, what are you thinking
for this like what if we did that? I was
very adamant on like being true to myself in terms
of my heritage and like having them add that we
were I was Iranian and Filipino and they were super that,
which I'm very grateful for. But as in terms of story,
(18:03):
like that's the writer's job, I have no say, Like
my job is to say the lines, basically, but like
it is nice to like kind of, you know, go
in and be like, what if we did this? And
usually they're very collaborative and very open to what I
like suggestions I have, but no, I have no idea
what's in store first. I mean I have a little
bit of an idea, but I don't know what's actually
(18:25):
written and what's on paper.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
I would be so tempted to be hounding the writers like, hey,
have you worked on anything today?
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Anything takes a lot.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
It takes a lot to not be like that because
I used to be like, so, what's happening? What's happening?
And like nine times out of ten, like if you're
filming season two and you're like, what are you thinking
for season three? They'll give you ideas, but those things
change so much, like based off of audience reaction of
the season. The studio has opinions, the network has opinions
(18:54):
of what they want the show to look like, so
like they could have ideas, but like it could be
completely different by the time you actually start filming the season,
which has happened on every show that I've been.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
On so on. Behalf of all the fans.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
When I announced you as my guest, I feel like
it is my duty to ask you this question.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
You look nervous.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
I'm a little nervous.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
I know I just made it very dramatic.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
People are very interested who you want the endgame for
Kitty to be.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
I knew this was coming, did you? I knew this
was coming. Yeah. Everyone always wants to know this answer.
I okay, how do I say this? I really hope
that whatever happens in terms of Kitty's love story is
what she wants. I hope that it is a relationship
(19:47):
of growth and understanding. I think, and this is I
don't want to be like I don't want anyone to
take this as the word of Exokitty. I have a
feeling it could be minho. Just the way that the
writing has gone, it is very like k drama. E
of them to do the slow burn. I can see
(20:08):
it happening that way, but at the same time our
show is constantly throwing curveballs, So season three, something else
could happen. I have no idea, but for me as
me personally as a viewer, I think Kitty and Minho
are really cute. But I love the that she got
(20:28):
to explore that with Yuri as well in season two
because she is by and that's you know, there's I
feel like a lot of people have opinions on like
a bygirl ending up with a boy, which some of
it's valid and some of it's not. And I just
really want Kitty to be happy. That's all I want.
Like the whole reason why she came to Korea was
to discover herself and what she wants and understand who
(20:53):
she is in terms of who she loves and who
her family is. So I just want to see Kitty
like just for that and be okay, that's really my goal.
I hope that was sufficient enough answer.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
That is that's a good answer.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
That was spoken like a true best friend in character
and out of character Kidi and Annas, So I think
that's that's.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Really really cool.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
I love that you play these characters who, just as
I alluded to earlier, means so much to so many people.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Of course, from Le Victor to this show.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
The representation alone that you provide through your work for
so many is something that just makes it makes people
feel like, oh my god, I may not have this
in my small hometown, but I can see it on
screen and I feel like, okay, cool, Like I am valid.
I'm seeing things are going to get better for me.
I imagine for you. You must wear that badge of honor with pride.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Yeah, it's a complete honor. Again, I told, like I said,
I never expected my career to be and it's such
an amazing surprise and such an honor. So yeah, absolutely,
I take that with so much pride, and I am
so grateful that I get to be that like beacon
(22:14):
of representation to so many people across so many different spectrums.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
It's sexuality, it's ethnicity, it's a race, it's all of it.
And I love that you told the writers it was
really important for you to truly show you know where
you're from in this character, and that's something that you,
I know, didn't always get the chance to do growing up,
and you don't always feel like you fit in a
box in terms of representation, and you know.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
You can pass.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I think you've said you can pass for different things,
but you want to make sure people know, like, this
is my background, and I imagine that for you also
makes playing Q so important because you're allowing your heritage,
your background, to truly be seen.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Absolutely. I mean my entire career, I've played characters that
I can't couldn't relate to on a personal level because
of where their background, who they are in terms of
their background, Like I know I look a certain way,
but that doesn't mean that I can bring the authenticity
required for someone who speaks Spanish or comes from a
(23:17):
Puerto Rican background. And I've played so many of those
characters before, and I got to a point where I
was like, at some point, I'm taking this opportunity away
from someone else who could bring forward that authenticity that
I just couldn't. Like, yeah, I can speak Spanish. I
took Spanish for years in school, but I didn't grow
(23:37):
up speaking it like in my home. I didn't grow
up eating the foods that these characters are talking about
in their shows. So when I finally felt like I
reached a point in my career where I did have
some sort of say in that, And when I got
the audition for Q, it was like Middle Eastern ambiguous
(24:03):
or like North African, And so when I got closer
to actually like getting the job, I was like, I
would really love it if we could do this instead,
because I could play this, but it wouldn't feel real
to me, and whoever's watching this, if they look me up,
they'll see, oh, he's not actually this that or the other,
(24:25):
and it would just feel an authentic And our show
is so diverse and it has so many areas of representation,
it would feel weird to have like one of the
main characters not represent that. And luckily Jenny and Sasha
were super down. They were so down to do it,
and I was able to like bring in little bits
(24:48):
and pieces of that throughout both seasons, and like certain lines,
I'd drop hints that I, oh, you know, I'm from
the Philippines or my mom's Filipino and my Lola made
this and da da da da da so and I
feel like the fans of the Filipino fans especially were
super grateful for that. I get so many dms and comments,
are like, when you mentioned this, I felt so much pride,
(25:10):
and that's so important to me and I never had
experienced that before. So yeah, I think, you know, going forward,
if I were to hopefully continue to do my job,
would love to continue that conversation with the creatives and
hopefully continue doing the same thing in terms of representation.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Anthony, it's so wild to me that you've grown up
in this business because you seemingly are so grounded and
you know, live your life from a place of gratitude
and haven't gone to a place where sometimes people who
think artists who grow up in the business can potentially
go to.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
And I don't know.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
I think about me sometimes in that respect, and I'm like,
if I grew up in front of a public facing forum, Laurie,
it would be I was I would be a hot mess,
Like I don't know how I would do it. So
has that been a weird experience for you? And how
do you stay so kind of level headed? Because it
really is seemingly who you are to me, at least
from just meeting you.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Well, thank you for that. I have been in therapy
for quite a while, which has helped because there's a
lot of like fakeness in this industry and like faking
it till you make it kind of thing. And like
I said, the imposter syndrome is a huge thing that
I continue to deal with. But honestly, my parents have
helped me so much in terms of staying grounded, Like
(26:40):
they keep me humble. They don't fluff up any of this.
They're just like, oh, okay, so when's your next job?
Like when are you getting your next job? Though, like
it's it's not special to them anymore, which helps me
a lot. Kind of keeping that groundedness in a way,
and also just remembering where I came from, like it
(27:02):
was a struggle to get here. You know, my mom
quit her job she was climbing the corporate ladder and
put her career aspirations on hold so that I could
follow my dreams. And my dad took up a second
job and he was mopping floors at one point to
keep the lights on so that I can continue to
(27:22):
do what I'm doing. And none of that is lost
on me. I remember when I'd done this independent film
when I was nine or ten years old, and it
had premiered at Tribeca Film Festival and we couldn't afford
to go and everyone in our family pitched in for
(27:43):
airfare and hotels and we all went and saw my movie,
and that I remember to this day that like every
person in my family has helped me get to where
I am. This isn't just because I'm super talented and
need like and very like deserving of being here. Everybody
(28:04):
has put in work and sacrifices so that I could
do this. So it's that concept reminder that like, I'm
not doing this just for me, I'm doing this for
every person in my family who's had a little piece
of the puzzle in terms of my journey. So yeah,
I don't know, and like seeing my parents who are
(28:25):
still working today and my brother who's going to college,
like everything else in my life is very very normal,
So doing what I'm doing, it's a constant reminder that
this is like once in a lifetime opportunity and that
I'm getting to follow my dream right now, and this
isn't normal for most people.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah, well that's probably what makes it so much more
rewarding for you, And you truly do come from a
place of feeling grateful for everything that's come your way,
and it's hard, as you said, you know, like I
think therapy is such an amazing thing, and there's some
much noise in the business, and there's a lot that
you kind of have to try to tune out of
for your own protection of your mental health. And I
know you've very, very publicly spoken about the importance of
(29:11):
being good to your mental health and taking care of yourself.
Was that an easy choice for you to make, because
I feel like even ten years ago, a lot of
artists would choose not to talk about that.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
Yes and no. I both of my parents are immigrants,
so like the idea of therapy was a little weird
for them, and they were like, you don't need therapy,
You're fine. What's wrong with you? Like you got food
in your belly and a roof over your head, like
everything's fine, So like kind of breaking that mold a
little bit. I went into therapy when I was nineteen,
(29:44):
and it was because I didn't like my own thoughts,
Like I didn't like being alone with my own thoughts.
I was the type of person that I had constant distractions.
I was always hanging out with people, I was always
making plans so I didn't have to think about anything.
And it was right before COVID and right after I
(30:07):
had done like my third pilot that didn't go to series,
and I was just at a really low point and
I didn't I didn't want to be like that anymore.
I didn't want to feel like that, and I went
and saw a psychiatrist. I literally like took my insurance
card and on the backside it was like mental and
behavioral therapy called this number, and I called the number
(30:30):
and I was like, I don't know what I need
right now, but I don't want to feel like this.
And I found a psychiatrist and I found a therapist
and it was so life changing. I put my guard down.
I left that stigma that therapy is for the week behind,
because that's how I was raised. And I finally like
(30:52):
left everything out on the table and allowed myself to
like heal and growing up doing what I'm doing. Like
there's a lot of damage done. There's so much Like
I've had casting directors tell me when I was younger
that I was like chubby and that I wasn't going
to get the role because I looked fifteen pounds heavier
(31:14):
than my headshot was and say the most awful things
you could say to a kid. I had a makeup
artist tell me that I was growing a unibrow and
she was annoyed that she had to pluck it. Like,
I'm thirteen, Like I'm going through changes in puberty. You're
putting these thoughts in my head. So going through and
(31:35):
breaking all that down and understanding where I am right
now and like why I got there was super important
to me so that I could continue to live normally.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Yeah, change of that, Yeah, I know, And thank you
for sharing.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
That's so it's so wild to me that as we
grow up and we evolve and we are growing into
who are meant to be, that so many out side
factors and noises in people's opinions are the most damaging.
And it's like, well I was fine before you said that,
but now that you said that.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
You're kind of in my head, right.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Yeah, So it's such a wild thing. But that's awesome
that you do talk about it, and I know it
means a lot to so many people who do follow you,
and I'm a huge proponent of all of that. So
really really really happy that people like you who have
platforms do talk about that. As we wrap up, I mean,
I could talk to you for four more hours, but
I won't take up your whole day. The name of
(32:33):
the show is called I've never said this before, And
I cover a lot of red carpets and movie premieres
and junkets, and you're no stranger to them, and you get,
you know, a minute and a half on a carpet
or six minutes at a junket, and I just saw
people longing to speak about other things than just SoundBite
movie or TV show conversation. It was like something in
their eyes like, Oh, I feel like if we had
(32:53):
for a few more minutes, they would reveal something that
they don't get to always share, give us a little
more insight into who they are.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
And it's so hard in those settings. So that's how
this show was born.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
So while you've been so open and completely vulnerable today already,
I feel like, is there anything else that you can
think of that you've never said before that you want
to share today?
Speaker 3 (33:13):
Yeah? I mean, I'm not gonna lie. I was like,
oh God, what am I going to say? Like there's
so many ways I could go about this, But actually
I realized this last night in the shower. I was like, wait,
I had never actually talked about this before, and it's
the fact that I actually passed on the audition for
(33:33):
Exo Kitty, and I was not wanting to do the
show at first, Like I wasn't familiar with the films.
I mean I was, but I hadn't watched them before
and I didn't want to. I was already on a
YA Show spinoff series of a YA movie. I was like,
this feels like a lateral move for me, and I
(33:56):
just wasn't. I didn't want to do it, and so
I had passed on the audition because the casting director
actually reached out to my team to have me tape.
I was like, I don't know, like this doesn't feel
like the right move for me, and I passed and
they came back and they're like, we really really want
Anthony to tape. And I was like, okay, all right,
(34:18):
I'll tape. I'll I'm sure someone else will catch their
eye and I'll just be one of a thousand tapes.
So I taped again and or a taped for the
first time, and they came back and they were like,
oh my god, that was a great tape. We're gonna
pin Anthony. And I was like, what you mean, You're
gonna pend me? And then they were like, can he
(34:39):
send another tape with an accent because they didn't know
where they wanted the character to go, and I was like,
I don't. I don't want to. I don't want to
be locked on a show playing a character with an accent,
like I feel like it could come off as like
a caricature of a middle Easter in person, and that
doesn't feel right to me. And so they said, well,
(35:01):
if you don't send another tape, we're going to release
your pin and I was like, okay, I'll send a tape.
And I sent a tape with the worst accent possible
because I was like, you're going to hate this, like
I know you're going to hate it, and I made
it like the worst and they came back and they're like,
you're right, don't we don't want an accent. I was
like okay, and then I was still like on the fence.
(35:22):
I was like, I don't know if I want to
be like typecast as the gay best friend. I don't
think I want to be in Korea. Like I had
so many like mental blockages that I was just not
open to the idea, which is so wild to me.
Now I'm like, I want to go back and like
shake my twenty year old self and be like, what
(35:44):
the hell were you thinking? But that's also like a
testament to I do believe that what you were meant
to do is already written for you, like you you know,
fate is a real thing, Like, yes, you can alter
some things, but your path is your path. And this
was very It became very adamant to me that this,
no matter what I tried, like this was going to
(36:06):
be part of my journey, and I'm so grateful for it.
Like looking back now, I'm like, I am so glad
I sent those tapes and I ended up doing this
show because I have some of the best friends in
my life who are going to be at my wedding
one day probably and be a part of my life forever.
And I have these like I never went to college,
so like this was like my semesters abroad in a way,
(36:29):
I discovered so much about myself and not only as
a person but as an artist. So I am very,
very grateful for the opportunity to get this job. But
it's just wild to me that I at one point
was not wanting to do it and was super closed
off to the idea and that I actually fully passed
(36:50):
on the show and was like, this isn't for me.
I want to slap myself right now.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
It's so hard to imagine you not in that role
I've been for everybody. I mean, it's it's just you
make it seem so seamless.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
It's wild to me that, like if I was like
put my foot down and was like, no, I'm not
doing this show, that someone else would be playing this
character and it just it doesn't feel right. And I'm
so so glad that I listened to my team. Everyone
was telling me like, what do you This is a
huge piece of IP, Like this is a really big show.
It's a Netflix, for God's sake. So I was like, oh,
(37:26):
if I want to do it, I don't want to
be in Korea. That seems really far. And it was
really it was the imposter syndrome. I didn't believe that
I deserved a job like that. I think I think
I was scared to like put myself in those shoes
and be like one of the leads of a show
in Korea that's groundbreaking in so many ways. I was
(37:49):
so close off to the idea and I'm like, I
can't I cannot believe that. I I'm so sorry, Jenny Hawn, like,
I'm sorry I put you all through that, like they
and they kept saying like we want you, this is
this job is for you, Like people at the studio
are like, there's no one else and I was, I
was so close off to the idea and it's just
(38:10):
insane to me. But I'm so glad that everything worked out.
I'm really really glad that I took the chance and
that they took the chance on me, because I can't
imagine my life without this show now.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
I think that story is the perfect example of sometimes
the things in life that you were the most afraid
of reap the biggest rewards. So the lesson here is
if it's scarce the shit out of you for everybody listening,
just do it, just do it, because look what can happen. Yeah, Oh, Anthony,
that's a great story. What a great way to end
(38:42):
this episode. I'm so happy we could connect and that
you could come on. I, like I said, I could
talk to you for four more hours. I think you're
just an awesome artist and an awesome human and we
look forward to just following your career.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Thank you, Tommy. This has been a really refreshing take
on an interview, like I had the best start and
I really appreciate you sitting down with me.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Well, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Don't keep us waiting too long for season three now, Okay, hey, we're.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
We're gearing up, so don't you worry. We're gonna start soon.
I don't think I can talk about specific dates, but soon.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
All right, we'd love to hear it. And when you're
in New York, let me know.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
Sounds good.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Thanks for me, all right, be well you too.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
I've Never Said This Before is hosted by Me Tommy Dedario.
This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Piglici at iHeartRadio
and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've
Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Duran
podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review and
subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
(39:48):
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Dedario
Host
Tommy DiDario
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com