November 21, 2023 • 29 mins
This week, Tommy is joined by Camilla Luddington, who stars in the ABC hit medical drama Grey’s Anatomy. Camilla is going into her 12th season of the series, which is an incredible testament to the power of the show, and the impressive character that she has created. Camilla opens up about joining a show that she was a huge fan of, the pressure that came along with that, the biggest challenge playing a character for over a decade, storylines she wants to explore for her character Dr. Joe Wilson in upcoming seasons, learning to let go of other people’s opinions, never having a plan B when it came to her career, and the Taylor Swift song she would listen to for the rest of her life.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey guys, welcome to I've never said this before with
me Tommy di Dario. Today's guest is the brilliant Camilla Luddington,
who stars in the ABC hit medical drama Gray's Anatomy,
arguably one of the most iconic and legendary shows to
hit television. Wealth Ever, Camilla is going into her twelfth
(00:23):
season of the series, which is an incredible testament to
the power of the show and the impressive character that
she has created. She of course, plays the beloved role
of doctor Joe Wilson. It is a role in which
she shows strength and vulnerability as she navigates her way
through these complicated storylines centered around love but also career.
(00:44):
And I think many of us have been able to
relate to her storylines at some point in our lives,
which is why I know audiences absolutely love this character.
She is so relatable. Camilla has many impressive credits, but
one super interesting one being that she was the voice
of the iconic Laura Croft in the video game tomb
Raider and Get This. When the game was released in
(01:04):
twenty thirteen, critics praised Luddington for giving the classic icon
a much needed reboot, and gamers agreed. They bought over
a million copies in the first forty eight hours of release.
Come on, how cool is that? Camilla is a gal
who knew exactly what she wanted at a very young age,
and she never veered from her dreams. So in honor
(01:26):
of that, this is an episode for all of my
fellow dreamers out there. So let's see if today we
can get Camilla to say something that she's never said before. Camilla,
it is so nice to meet you. I have been
wanting to interview for quite a while. I have heard
of Yes, I've heard amazing things about you. We have
(01:49):
a few mutual friends, so we're going to have some
fun today. Are you ready to rock?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I am, I'm ready. Let's go.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Well, I have probably the most important and hardest question
of your life you're about to answer to kick this off.
Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Okay? Go?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
So. I know you're a Taylor Swift fan, and I
know you're a Bravo fan. So if you were stuck
on a remote island and could only listen to one
Taylor Swift song for the rest of your life, while
hanging out with one cast from any Bravo show for
the rest of your life, which shaw and which gust
would it be?
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Do you say a desert island?
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Desert island? So you're stuck forever?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Okay, So I'm obsessed, like obsessed right now obviously with
the new album. But the song Mastermind on the new
album is one of my absolute favorites. So I feel
like today with this question, it's that song who would
I Bring? I feel like I do you watch New Jersey?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I'm from New Jersey?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yes, okay, So I love Teresa. I know it's like
you know, people are like torn on Teresa and Melessa.
I love Teresa. I feel like if I bought her
to the island with me, like she could figure it
out with me, Like we could like get coconnuts together.
Like I feel like she'd like rally and this. She's
(03:09):
been through a lot, so I feel like she wouldn't
be phased by an island. Some say Teresa and that.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Song, you know what? Those are solid choices. I love it. Okay, good,
good for you. You're gonna survive and last a long time.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I think I would survive. Yeah, and I'd look good
doing it with her.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Yes you would, Yes you would, Yes you would. Amazing. Well,
another thing that I guess Italianto Survival is you've been
kicking ass on Grey's Anatomy for now, what are you
going into your twelfth year?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
My twelfth year. It's funny because I even forget sometimes
I'm like, it's ten years. I'm like, wait, no, it's twelve.
Like even I've forgotten, like how many years has been.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I mean, that is incredible in this day and age.
So what keeps you coming back for more to the show.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
It sounds cheesy, but I really love my cast and
every single year we bring on new people and they're
always amazing, Like we have a new intern class that
like I just feel like that like influx of new
people keep it really fresh for us. And then I
have to shout out to our writers because they do
a great job of every season. I mean it's been
like twelve for me of being like, hey, this is
(04:14):
probably going to be your storyline this season, and it's
always like, oh my god, that's I love that. I
can't wait to play that. So the writers keep it
super fresh for us.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Well, it's to play a character for over a decade
is so special. It's so rare, and I imagine it's
really gratifying for you when you think about your whole
trajectory on that journey, Right, So, how has that journey
been for you playing Doctor Joe over all the years.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
It's funny because so I joined the show in season nine,
and I remember thinking, Okay, shows, it's amazing that they're
in season nine. But like the shows that you know,
it probably is going to go on for a couple
more years, Like it's not going to go on for longer,
because like shows just don't go on for that long.
So I feel like the trajectory of it has just
been shocking. To be honest, I would never have imagined that, Like,
(05:01):
you know, twelve seasons later, I'm still on the show.
But what's been really nice, and I don't know if
I'll ever get this opportunity again, probably not, is being
able to sit with a character for that long. They
become part of your life. They become part of you
because you've experienced so much with them, you almost grow
up with them. So it's like when she had a
(05:22):
one year old on the show, I had a one
year old when she wasn't getting sleepless nights on the show.
I was literally getting sleepless night. So it feels like
we've like in some ways obviously completely different, but in
other ways like parallel to each other, like grown up together.
And that is just a really unique experience, And.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
What a cool outlet that must be when you're going
through real world stuff to be like, oh, so is
my character I can go work this out on set? Right?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yeah? Yeah? I feel like when she you know, when
I started the show, you know, Joe's like in a
new space and she's super intimidated by like, you know,
the doctors around her and wants to do a really
good job. That was me. I was entering this show
that was already iconic. I wanted to do a good job.
I wanted to impress people, so like that energy she had,
that's how I started too. So it's like, you know,
(06:08):
she's been she's got settled in her job and her
confidence built. I've gotten settled in the job, my confident,
you know. So it's just it's a really wild ride
to be on with a character for that long.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Did you feel that pressure going into the show because
of that very reason? You knew how big it was.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I was a huge fan. I actually wish I had
not been a huge fan of the show. I wish
i'd seen it in a way because I think my
first few days on the show, I would have been
like a lot more relaxed. But I walked on and
I had watched it from the very day that it
premiered until then, and I was like, Oh my god,
It's Gray's Anatomy. This is the post it note, this
(06:46):
is the fridge they had Thanksgiving dinner. You know, it's
like it's really it was intimidating being a fan and
then being in it, and also just knowing that fandom.
They're so passionate and you hope that like you're stepping
into to like big shoes, you know, the show, like
you want to be an intern class that they like
and root for, and it takes time. So all those
(07:09):
things were on my mind when I started, which was
all really intimidating.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
So how in the world do you say, girl, get
a grip? But we got work to do, like put
all that aside and let's get working.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Because it's a Shonda Rhime's show, fair enough, CRA's Anatomy,
and you know, like on Grey's Anatomy, anyone can like
explode in an elevator at any time. So with that
hanging over your head. You're like, I gotta get it together.
I don't have a choice but to like rally and
do the best job that I can do.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
You're like, I'm not getting right off the show today.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Yeah, totally, totally.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
What are some of your fondest memories when you think
about those early days on set of the show.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
It was really exciting. I miss having like a class
that I came in with, Like I do miss that
because there was camaraderie there and I'm the only one
left of my intern class, so I miss that. But
I also feel like it was good in a way
to like not know in the beginning how big the
(08:08):
show was. I knew it, but like I feel like
it hadn't hit that like streaming situation yet, so it
kind of kept me in more of a bubble in
the early days, which I think was good. But some
of them, like I just have memories of filming some
of the most iconic stuff, like that dinner party where
Penny comes in and Meredith says, like, this is the
(08:29):
person who killed my husband, Like, I just have such
you know, those scenes that have become super iconic. We
shot for days and days and days, and between the takes,
like we had so much fun. So those are great memories,
Like you know, Jackson and April's wedding, Like I have
great memories of that, and like you know, all of
us just having fun between takes. Those are my memories.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Well, it's always yeah, it's obviously you guys had a
lot of fun and the camaraderie on set seems to
be so special and so amazing. But it's a job
too write, and with any job there's challenge. So what
is one of the biggest challenges playing a character for
that long that we might be surprised about.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I think that a lot of shows now are sometimes
six episodes, eight episodes, ten episodes. We're one of the
only shows that are still twenty episodes, twenty two episodes,
and I think that people don't realize that that means
nine months of the year shooting. And so one of
the challenges that comes with that is if your character,
because I've had this and a lot of us have
(09:27):
had this, if your character is going through really hard season,
that's nine months of your year that you're sitting in
that depression with them, or sitting in that trauma with them,
and that with this particular show, because of the length
of time we film, that can be challenging, and.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
It's hard sometimes to separate that from the real world.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
It is hard because you're going back to it so often,
so it becomes harder to shake off. You have to
do a really good job of compartmentalizing. But it's sometimes
it's really difficult because you have to go you know,
you have to go really deep so often for so
many months, like it can the lions can get blurred.
You can come home and you can you know, you're
(10:09):
bringing that energy home. You have to be careful about
that well.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
And especially because the show has so many shakeups, right,
you never know what's going to happen, who's going to
be around, and that's one of the most I think
appealing things about the show. It's the element of surprise.
And one of those shakeups recently was of course Ellen
Pompeo leaving the show. So what was that like when
you heard the news and having kind of the fearless
leader and og character decided part.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Ways, It's interesting because I feel like Ellen had talked
about sort of being ready to move on and try
something new, so it wasn't completely shocking. And then for
us personally and Ellen has said this before, it doesn't
really feel like she's left. She's doing the voiceover for
every episode. Still, when she did leave, we knew she
was still going to be in our finale episode, and
(10:58):
she herself was said like, I'm always going to have
a presence on the show. There's never going to be
that Meredith Gray is not going to show up. So
I feel like it doesn't feel like she's left. I
think she's still there obviously to support the show. She's
a producer on the show. So I don't feel like
Meredith Gray has gone.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Season twenty it's coming up. Everyone is like, come on,
let's go. We want we want it, we need it.
What are you looking forward to? What do you hope
for with the new season for your character?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
I want her to kick ass as an obe. She's
back to, you know, being a resident, so I really
want to see that skill set just like her just
be amazing at her job and so passionate. I'd love
to see her continue to do more surgery because she's
also a general surgery attending, and then she has her
baby and Luna has been diagnosed with hearing loss, so
(11:59):
I want to see her also. I would love to
see her really diving to learning sign language, Like, I
just think that's a really cool, awesome storyline representation. And
then I want her love life to be a little
bit more successful, which hopefully, you know, she had a
big kiss at the end of last season. Hopefully that
means Linc and her are going to be good for
(12:20):
a while. But oh my god, it's our show, so
you know, who knows.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Well, there's a lot we can look forward to in
the new season. And I love that you brought up
focusing on the hearing loss storyline as well. That always
touches me. I was actually so I when I was young,
I was completely deaf and only had half of my
hearing in one ear, and I had to go through
corrective surgeries and years and years and years of that
and then I was lucky that I got restored, but
I had six years of speech therapy after that because
(12:46):
I didn't learn how to speak during my formative years.
So yeah, I think it's something so important to focus on,
and I like that your show, you know, is leaning
in that direction, because many don't.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I have the same thing. I was actually diagnosed with
kind of significant hearing loss last year or the year
before it doesn't sound like a lot, but it's about
ten percent of my hearing. So it just means that,
like in normal situations, I can hear people, but like
in a crowded restaurant, it's really hard for me when
there's a lot of like ambiance, And you know, I
was even like one day I might need, you know,
(13:20):
a hearing aid in my forties, and I hope, I wrote,
if I'm still in the show, I hope I rock that.
So I love any sort of because I feel like,
you know, not that I have completely lost my hearing,
but I have a little bit of hearing loss, and
I love that that is something that's being featured and
it hasn't you know, I feel like it hasn't been
done yet with anyone's child on the show, so I
think it's really nice.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, representation matters, So that's a cool storyline to explore.
What strikes me about you is you're someone who is
so excited about the work you do still and it's
so refreshing. I think in any fields, when I meet
someone who loves what they do and who is grateful
and eager for the future of what their career looks like.
In that particular role. I think it's so inspiring and
(14:02):
and you've talked about how there's a lot more to
explore with this character, which to me, it's like, oh yeah,
I mean you've been on for over a decade, so
what do you mean by that? Talk to me about that.
Do you have a ton of different ideas?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I do, And it's hard because I feel I have
so many ideas, And then you know, I do like
to like pitch to the writers and be like because
actually the writers are super open. At the beginning of
every season, they sit us down and they say, like,
what do you think? Like what are things that you
want want to see? And it's just really it's really
nice to have writers ask you that question because it's
(14:33):
not always the case. So I'm very careful about not
saying it because sometimes like our ideas do sort of
manifest into a storyline. But I I'm like, I don't
want to say it because then it won't be used.
But I do feel like she has long way to go.
She has, you know, she's still at the beginning of
this new career. What does that look like, a new relationship?
(14:54):
What does that look like? And with a baby still,
you know, she's got a two year old, so what
is that like? There's so much much story still to tell,
And even when you think, like god, we've done it all,
they just do a great job of being like, hey, guys,
this is what we're going to do, and you're like
what you know? Like, we still get so shocked and
excited by our scripts. So I feel like she's at
the beginning. She's kind of starting fresh, even later in life,
(15:17):
with a lot of the things going on in her world.
So yes, I think there's a lot more story to tell,
but I don't want to say specifics because I'm hoping
that maybe one of them would get used.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
That's exciting. That gives a lot of hopes to people
who want this to continue on for years and years
to come. So I love that. That's awesome, Camilla. You
have been through many years on this show, and with
that comes a lot of personal growth, right and learning
about yourself and going through real life experiences that, as
you said, sometimes mirrored your characters. So when you think
about your career as a whole on Gray's Anatomy, how
(15:50):
are you different as a human being from when you
first join the show.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
I would say my confidence has grown a lot professionally,
because in a way, being on a show like that
is like the best acting class you could ever take.
Acting is like a muscle that you have to keep
working at. And when we are lucky enough to do
that many episodes and be thrown so many different storylines,
we really get to work that muscle a lot. So
(16:15):
I feel like I've been very fortunate to grow as
an actress on the show. So hopefully there's that change
that's happened. And then in my personal life, you know,
I become a mom, which is like a huge change,
And I think, what's really nice as I get older
is I care less about what people think. That's a
really nice feeling. That's a really nice feeling. And I
(16:37):
feel like that comes with having children too for some reason.
Oh really, yeah, I feel like because I feel like
I put myself in their position a lot. So I'm like,
would I want my daughter Hayden to care about what
this person thinks of her? No? I wouldn't, So why
would I care? So I feel like it's given me
more perspective.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
That's something that I think we all strive to have,
to be able to not care what people think.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
It's hard it's.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Hard, man, it's hard. It's hard. Yeah, I imagine that
was a practice for you to get to that point.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
It was just a natural progression. I'm really good about.
Like I here's another way in which I feel like
I've grown. I feel like boundaries was not something I
necessarily had in my twenties, and I learned like, oh, no,
boundaries is a really good thing. It's really good for
me to not go online and read all the comments,
(17:31):
Like that's a boundary that I make for myself once
in a while. I like scroll through, but I'm really
not taking in all the comments like I would in
the early days, like you know, what's going on, what
people thinking of storyline? That boundary for me has been
really good. So I feel like even that those are
ways in which I've been able to be able to
step back and again get that perspective and be like,
(17:52):
is this really part of my world? That my day
to day world. It's not like what this person's saying
about me, you know, it's just it's it's learning. It's
being on the job and learning as you go. You
know what works for you and what doesn't work for
you in terms of like your mental health and keeping
yourself afloat in a really crazy industry.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Well, and I think that's why you're able to continue
having such a thriving career while maintaining a sense of
truly who you are, because we all see that that's
easily lost in this industry. Yeah, and it's sad when
that happens. But I look at you, and I see
somebody so accomplished. I see a kick ass mom. I
see someone who has an amazing career. I see someone who,
(18:34):
you know, from what I can tell from social media,
lives her life with positivity and excitement and truly trying
to be the best version of you that you can be.
And all of that, to me means you're accomplished. That's
a very accomplished human being. How do you view accomplishment, I.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Think in one way. I mean there are so many
different ways I feel accomplished, but just being able to
be a parent, you know, even in my messy mistakes
as a parent, like I feel accomplished that I'm like
keeping two kids alive on a daily basis. But in
one way that I feel accomplished, I feel like I
never doubted in a crazy industry that this is what
I would end up doing when so many people doubted
(19:13):
growing up. You know, like, oh, yeah, she's let me
an actress like good luck and she's waitressing good Luck.
You know, I feel accomplished proving people wrong.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
That's powerful. That's powerful because you, at the end of
the day, can say I went for what I wanted
and I don't have any regrets doing it.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Yeah. And even if I'd gone for what I wanted
and it hadn't worked out, I still feel like I
would have proven people wrong by giving it my everything.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Man, I'm like sitting here thinking to myself right now,
what are the times in my life that I have
felt like I truly, truly, truly didn't care what people
thought of when I was on the journey to my career.
And I think you nailed it earlier. It's when you
get older you kind of step into that more and more.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Right, Yeah, I definitely do. And when I was back
when I was like waiting tables at Los Angeles, which
I had to do for a long time, it wasn't
like a six months jop. It was like I was
waiting tables like four years. I was still working and
waiting tables because I couldn't afford to just work in
the industry yet, and I would come up to people,
you know, on my table and they'd be like, chatty,
you know, what do you do And I'm like, well,
(20:17):
I'm actually an actress and they'd be like, you know,
I had so many people that I waited tables on
them were like okay, but what's your plan B or
like good luck you know, and so I feel like, yeah,
you know what, I did it nine pm, Thursday nights ABC.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
You know.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
So I had that constant reminder of people underminding just
strangers underminding what I wanted to do, let alone people
that I knew, And so, yeah, it does. It feels
nice to be like, I don't care what you think,
I'm going to get your hot wings, but like one
day I'm going to be able to quit this job.
And that happened, and so yeah, that feels that feels
like a huge accomplishment.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah, I would say, so you're on one of the
biggest shows in the entire world, which is a nature puishment.
I know there's a lot of parallels between show and
real life, but if you kind of separate it for
a minute and think about who is Camilla Ludington without
(21:15):
Gray's anatomy?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
What would you say, who is Kamila Luddington without Gray's anatomy.
That's an interesting question because it does it when you
when you're on the show for so long, it ends
up feeling like it is part of your identity because
when you're out in the world also, that's what people
are saying, like, hey, you're a jot, you know. So
to separate myself, okay, I would say that, you know,
(21:38):
my accent's all muddy right now. I'm from you know,
I'm from England, but I've just you know, I spent
so many years on the show and I'm filming in
an American action that it's all muddy. But I would
still say that I am still a girl from a
small town in England with big dreams. I still dream
really big about other things too. I would say that
I'm a mother, and I would say that I'm I'm
(22:00):
really creative. I like to think of myself as very
creative and fearless. I feel like you can't get into
this industry without being a little bit fearless. So that's
what I would say. I am without the show, and
at some point I will be without the show.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Is that weird for you to think about? It?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Is weird? Yeah, it's weird. I think it'll be really
hard the day that either I leave or the show
is done, it'll be hard. It'll be hard.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Yeah, well you don't need to think about that for
a while now.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I hope. I hope.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Yeah. But of course, when you grow that attached to something,
no matter what it is, in any industry, it's tough.
So that's a true sign you're loving the work that
you're doing. And I think that's really inspiring. And I
think it's also inspiring that you just said there's other
things you want to achieve, because someone from the outside
might look at you and say, oh, that's it. She's
hit it. There's nothing more for her, Like after the show,
she can just kind of coast through life and say
(22:56):
I did it. But you're like, no, I have other goals.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Well, there's a lot of different things I want to do,
and there's a lot of things that I can't talk
about that we're even working on right now that are
just different ways of being creative. So no, I hope
that this is just part of my story and it
will be.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
It will be. You have so much going on in
your life, like any working parent, right, how you take
that time for you? Like, is it important for you
to carve out time in your days or weeks to
have a little self care, a little you time. What
do you do to just kind of preserve your piece?
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, so this is also boundaries, and I think it's
important and it took me a long time to learn that.
Like you also need like boundaries with your children. It's
so easy to not have that because it's like they're
crawling all over you know, I have very young John,
I have a six year old, two year olds, so
they're crawling all over you. They need you all the time.
You're you know, you're constantly parenting. And so I think
(23:50):
one thing that I'm still learning to do is to
have that boundary of like, okay, you know what, Like
I need even if it's just like mommy's when I
make a cup of tea and I'm going to sit
outside and I need you guys to just play in
the playroom and just give me ten minutes because sometimes
like I don't have the time to go get my
nails done or have a massage or go for a hike.
(24:12):
Like the reality is my meed time might be just
making a cup of tea and just sitting outside in
the quiet. So it's like finding those little ways to
have boundaries during the day, just to center myself, ground
myself before I go in and deal with the chaos.
Like that to me is as important as oh my god,
I'm going to go to dinner with my girlfriends like
(24:32):
just that. So finding the moments and having that boundary.
I also think it's really good for them to see
me do that so that they can say, you know,
as they're even as kids, like hey, mommy, I need
some space, I need I need a second just to
be in my room, like you know, Lucas is driving
me crazy, whatever it is, like, I want them to
learn that they can see from me like that, I'm
(24:54):
advocating for myself, even if it's just like, hey, I
need a cup of tea and I want to sit
outside in the quiet but it's hot. I'm learning to
still remind myself to make those moments for myself. It's
really easy as a parent to get caught up in
the daily chaos and then crash out me in the
evening and you're like, what have I done for myself?
You know, I don't even showered, so yeah, it's a
(25:15):
learning curve.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah, yeah, well and I love that. A question I
never asked to people is how do you balance it
all as a parent? How do you juggle it all?
Because it's you don't like it's you can't juggle everything.
You can't balance it all. I mean, I'm not a parent,
but I know that without having kids, I feel like
I can't balance everything. But I carve out time for
the things that I can and I do the best
(25:37):
I can, and that's what we can all do.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Yeah, there is not going to be balanced. It's a
juggling act and sometimes you drop the balls and you
have to pick them back up. But like it's just
I think there is an element of just advocating for
yourself as a parent to even your own children, you know,
and just saying like, hey give me a second, mommy.
(26:00):
It's too loud, like mommy needs, you know, but it's hard.
I'm learning, and I'll probably they'll be older and I'll
still be learning.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Camilla, you strike me throughout this conversation as being a
very I'm going to go for something and nothing's going
to stop me type of gal. And I love that
about you, because I think fear can be very crippling
and discouraging, and for all of us, there's moments where
it tries to creep up, but we have to kind
of push it away and keep on going. Has there
(26:28):
ever been a point in your career where you wanted
to give up? And if so, why, and if not,
how do you maintain that mentality?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I honestly never had a point where I was going
to give up, only because I feel like I never
had a plan B. I didn't have a fallback plan,
so it was kind of do or die. It was like, honestly,
it felt like survival, Like it felt like this is
the thing that I need to do. It's the only
(26:57):
thing I really feel like I love and I'm passionate about,
I'm really good at and so that's it. There's no
other path for me, and so giving up has just
never been an option.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Well it served you who well obviously, so thank god
you did it. And now are at the point where
it's time to ask you the very very important question,
A tough question. You ready for it? Yes, what is
one thing that you have never said before?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
I have never said I hate sweatpants?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Ever, I need more information.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
The reason I say this is because I've been joking
about this week with my husband. When we go into
a store and I don't know, I really like some
people go into store and see like a beautiful necklace
or something like, oh my gosh. The amount of times
I go into a store I don't care where it is,
like Target, and I'm like, I'm literally blown away by
a pair of sweatpants and it brings me so much
joy to like, oh my god, these are amazing, Like
(28:00):
nothing brings me more comfort. I'm actually in sweatpants right now.
I'm in According to sweatpants, nothing brings me more comfort than
a good pair of sweatpants. So if you ever hear
me say that I don't like sweatpants, it's because it's
been written as a line on Gray's Anatomy. You will
never hear that come out of my mouth.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
So you're super fan.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
I'm a bigger fan. I play in the pandemic because
I mean, what we're like, we all lived as sweatpants
and then everyone maybe moved on and I never did.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
And you're also in scrubs a lot, and that's like
kind of in the family.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
It's in the family. But you would think that because
I'm in scrubs, like I want to get into like
jeans when I'm dumb, But no, I just want to
take it to the level lower and be in like
full of draw string sweatpants.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
You know what, You inspired me to go put some
on after this. I don't know why I'm not wearing
them now.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
That is self care, That is self care.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
You should trademark that saying sweatpants are self care.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
We are sweatpants of self care people.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Well, on that note, I'm going to put on five
pairs of sweatpants. Get really comfy, Camilla. I love talking
to you. You're killing it in all areas of your life,
and I look forward to continuing to watch you sore.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Thank you so much. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Thank you. It's a pleasure.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
Yes, for sure.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
I've Never Said this Before is hosted by Me Tommy Diderio.
This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio
and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've
Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Duran
podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review and
subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
(29:39):
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Dederio.
Hey guys, welcome to I've never said this before with
me Tommy di Dario. Today's guest is the brilliant Camilla Luddington,
who stars in the ABC hit medical drama Gray's Anatomy,
arguably one of the most iconic and legendary shows to
hit television. Wealth Ever, Camilla is going into her twelfth
(00:23):
season of the series, which is an incredible testament to
the power of the show and the impressive character that
she has created. She of course, plays the beloved role
of doctor Joe Wilson. It is a role in which
she shows strength and vulnerability as she navigates her way
through these complicated storylines centered around love but also career.
(00:44):
And I think many of us have been able to
relate to her storylines at some point in our lives,
which is why I know audiences absolutely love this character.
She is so relatable. Camilla has many impressive credits, but
one super interesting one being that she was the voice
of the iconic Laura Croft in the video game tomb
Raider and Get This. When the game was released in
(01:04):
twenty thirteen, critics praised Luddington for giving the classic icon
a much needed reboot, and gamers agreed. They bought over
a million copies in the first forty eight hours of release.
Come on, how cool is that? Camilla is a gal
who knew exactly what she wanted at a very young age,
and she never veered from her dreams. So in honor
(01:26):
of that, this is an episode for all of my
fellow dreamers out there. So let's see if today we
can get Camilla to say something that she's never said before. Camilla,
it is so nice to meet you. I have been
wanting to interview for quite a while. I have heard
of Yes, I've heard amazing things about you. We have
(01:49):
a few mutual friends, so we're going to have some
fun today. Are you ready to rock?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I am, I'm ready. Let's go.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Well, I have probably the most important and hardest question
of your life you're about to answer to kick this off.
Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Okay? Go?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
So. I know you're a Taylor Swift fan, and I
know you're a Bravo fan. So if you were stuck
on a remote island and could only listen to one
Taylor Swift song for the rest of your life, while
hanging out with one cast from any Bravo show for
the rest of your life, which shaw and which gust
would it be?
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Do you say a desert island?
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Desert island? So you're stuck forever?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Okay, So I'm obsessed, like obsessed right now obviously with
the new album. But the song Mastermind on the new
album is one of my absolute favorites. So I feel
like today with this question, it's that song who would
I Bring? I feel like I do you watch New Jersey?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I'm from New Jersey?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yes, okay, So I love Teresa. I know it's like
you know, people are like torn on Teresa and Melessa.
I love Teresa. I feel like if I bought her
to the island with me, like she could figure it
out with me, Like we could like get coconnuts together.
Like I feel like she'd like rally and this. She's
(03:09):
been through a lot, so I feel like she wouldn't
be phased by an island. Some say Teresa and that.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Song, you know what? Those are solid choices. I love it. Okay, good,
good for you. You're gonna survive and last a long time.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I think I would survive. Yeah, and I'd look good
doing it with her.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Yes you would, Yes you would, Yes you would. Amazing. Well,
another thing that I guess Italianto Survival is you've been
kicking ass on Grey's Anatomy for now, what are you
going into your twelfth year?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
My twelfth year. It's funny because I even forget sometimes
I'm like, it's ten years. I'm like, wait, no, it's twelve.
Like even I've forgotten, like how many years has been.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I mean, that is incredible in this day and age.
So what keeps you coming back for more to the show.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
It sounds cheesy, but I really love my cast and
every single year we bring on new people and they're
always amazing, Like we have a new intern class that
like I just feel like that like influx of new
people keep it really fresh for us. And then I
have to shout out to our writers because they do
a great job of every season. I mean it's been
like twelve for me of being like, hey, this is
(04:14):
probably going to be your storyline this season, and it's
always like, oh my god, that's I love that. I
can't wait to play that. So the writers keep it
super fresh for us.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Well, it's to play a character for over a decade
is so special. It's so rare, and I imagine it's
really gratifying for you when you think about your whole
trajectory on that journey, Right, So, how has that journey
been for you playing Doctor Joe over all the years.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
It's funny because so I joined the show in season nine,
and I remember thinking, Okay, shows, it's amazing that they're
in season nine. But like the shows that you know,
it probably is going to go on for a couple
more years, Like it's not going to go on for longer,
because like shows just don't go on for that long.
So I feel like the trajectory of it has just
been shocking. To be honest, I would never have imagined that, Like,
(05:01):
you know, twelve seasons later, I'm still on the show.
But what's been really nice, and I don't know if
I'll ever get this opportunity again, probably not, is being
able to sit with a character for that long. They
become part of your life. They become part of you
because you've experienced so much with them, you almost grow
up with them. So it's like when she had a
(05:22):
one year old on the show, I had a one
year old when she wasn't getting sleepless nights on the show.
I was literally getting sleepless night. So it feels like
we've like in some ways obviously completely different, but in
other ways like parallel to each other, like grown up together.
And that is just a really unique experience, And.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
What a cool outlet that must be when you're going
through real world stuff to be like, oh, so is
my character I can go work this out on set? Right?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yeah? Yeah? I feel like when she you know, when
I started the show, you know, Joe's like in a
new space and she's super intimidated by like, you know,
the doctors around her and wants to do a really
good job. That was me. I was entering this show
that was already iconic. I wanted to do a good job.
I wanted to impress people, so like that energy she had,
that's how I started too. So it's like, you know,
(06:08):
she's been she's got settled in her job and her
confidence built. I've gotten settled in the job, my confident,
you know. So it's just it's a really wild ride
to be on with a character for that long.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Did you feel that pressure going into the show because
of that very reason? You knew how big it was.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I was a huge fan. I actually wish I had
not been a huge fan of the show. I wish
i'd seen it in a way because I think my
first few days on the show, I would have been
like a lot more relaxed. But I walked on and
I had watched it from the very day that it
premiered until then, and I was like, Oh my god,
It's Gray's Anatomy. This is the post it note, this
(06:46):
is the fridge they had Thanksgiving dinner. You know, it's
like it's really it was intimidating being a fan and
then being in it, and also just knowing that fandom.
They're so passionate and you hope that like you're stepping
into to like big shoes, you know, the show, like
you want to be an intern class that they like
and root for, and it takes time. So all those
(07:09):
things were on my mind when I started, which was
all really intimidating.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
So how in the world do you say, girl, get
a grip? But we got work to do, like put
all that aside and let's get working.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Because it's a Shonda Rhime's show, fair enough, CRA's Anatomy,
and you know, like on Grey's Anatomy, anyone can like
explode in an elevator at any time. So with that
hanging over your head. You're like, I gotta get it together.
I don't have a choice but to like rally and
do the best job that I can do.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
You're like, I'm not getting right off the show today.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Yeah, totally, totally.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
What are some of your fondest memories when you think
about those early days on set of the show.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
It was really exciting. I miss having like a class
that I came in with, Like I do miss that
because there was camaraderie there and I'm the only one
left of my intern class, so I miss that. But
I also feel like it was good in a way
to like not know in the beginning how big the
(08:08):
show was. I knew it, but like I feel like
it hadn't hit that like streaming situation yet, so it
kind of kept me in more of a bubble in
the early days, which I think was good. But some
of them, like I just have memories of filming some
of the most iconic stuff, like that dinner party where
Penny comes in and Meredith says, like, this is the
(08:29):
person who killed my husband, Like, I just have such
you know, those scenes that have become super iconic. We
shot for days and days and days, and between the takes,
like we had so much fun. So those are great memories,
Like you know, Jackson and April's wedding, Like I have
great memories of that, and like you know, all of
us just having fun between takes. Those are my memories.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Well, it's always yeah, it's obviously you guys had a
lot of fun and the camaraderie on set seems to
be so special and so amazing. But it's a job
too write, and with any job there's challenge. So what
is one of the biggest challenges playing a character for
that long that we might be surprised about.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I think that a lot of shows now are sometimes
six episodes, eight episodes, ten episodes. We're one of the
only shows that are still twenty episodes, twenty two episodes,
and I think that people don't realize that that means
nine months of the year shooting. And so one of
the challenges that comes with that is if your character,
because I've had this and a lot of us have
(09:27):
had this, if your character is going through really hard season,
that's nine months of your year that you're sitting in
that depression with them, or sitting in that trauma with them,
and that with this particular show, because of the length
of time we film, that can be challenging, and.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
It's hard sometimes to separate that from the real world.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
It is hard because you're going back to it so often,
so it becomes harder to shake off. You have to
do a really good job of compartmentalizing. But it's sometimes
it's really difficult because you have to go you know,
you have to go really deep so often for so
many months, like it can the lions can get blurred.
You can come home and you can you know, you're
(10:09):
bringing that energy home. You have to be careful about
that well.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
And especially because the show has so many shakeups, right,
you never know what's going to happen, who's going to
be around, and that's one of the most I think
appealing things about the show. It's the element of surprise.
And one of those shakeups recently was of course Ellen
Pompeo leaving the show. So what was that like when
you heard the news and having kind of the fearless
leader and og character decided part.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Ways, It's interesting because I feel like Ellen had talked
about sort of being ready to move on and try
something new, so it wasn't completely shocking. And then for
us personally and Ellen has said this before, it doesn't
really feel like she's left. She's doing the voiceover for
every episode. Still, when she did leave, we knew she
was still going to be in our finale episode, and
(10:58):
she herself was said like, I'm always going to have
a presence on the show. There's never going to be
that Meredith Gray is not going to show up. So
I feel like it doesn't feel like she's left. I
think she's still there obviously to support the show. She's
a producer on the show. So I don't feel like
Meredith Gray has gone.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Season twenty it's coming up. Everyone is like, come on,
let's go. We want we want it, we need it.
What are you looking forward to? What do you hope
for with the new season for your character?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
I want her to kick ass as an obe. She's
back to, you know, being a resident, so I really
want to see that skill set just like her just
be amazing at her job and so passionate. I'd love
to see her continue to do more surgery because she's
also a general surgery attending, and then she has her
baby and Luna has been diagnosed with hearing loss, so
(11:59):
I want to see her also. I would love to
see her really diving to learning sign language, Like, I
just think that's a really cool, awesome storyline representation. And
then I want her love life to be a little
bit more successful, which hopefully, you know, she had a
big kiss at the end of last season. Hopefully that
means Linc and her are going to be good for
(12:20):
a while. But oh my god, it's our show, so
you know, who knows.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Well, there's a lot we can look forward to in
the new season. And I love that you brought up
focusing on the hearing loss storyline as well. That always
touches me. I was actually so I when I was young,
I was completely deaf and only had half of my
hearing in one ear, and I had to go through
corrective surgeries and years and years and years of that
and then I was lucky that I got restored, but
I had six years of speech therapy after that because
(12:46):
I didn't learn how to speak during my formative years.
So yeah, I think it's something so important to focus on,
and I like that your show, you know, is leaning
in that direction, because many don't.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I have the same thing. I was actually diagnosed with
kind of significant hearing loss last year or the year
before it doesn't sound like a lot, but it's about
ten percent of my hearing. So it just means that,
like in normal situations, I can hear people, but like
in a crowded restaurant, it's really hard for me when
there's a lot of like ambiance, And you know, I
was even like one day I might need, you know,
(13:20):
a hearing aid in my forties, and I hope, I wrote,
if I'm still in the show, I hope I rock that.
So I love any sort of because I feel like,
you know, not that I have completely lost my hearing,
but I have a little bit of hearing loss, and
I love that that is something that's being featured and
it hasn't you know, I feel like it hasn't been
done yet with anyone's child on the show, so I
think it's really nice.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, representation matters, So that's a cool storyline to explore.
What strikes me about you is you're someone who is
so excited about the work you do still and it's
so refreshing. I think in any fields, when I meet
someone who loves what they do and who is grateful
and eager for the future of what their career looks like.
In that particular role. I think it's so inspiring and
(14:02):
and you've talked about how there's a lot more to
explore with this character, which to me, it's like, oh yeah,
I mean you've been on for over a decade, so
what do you mean by that? Talk to me about that.
Do you have a ton of different ideas?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I do, And it's hard because I feel I have
so many ideas, And then you know, I do like
to like pitch to the writers and be like because
actually the writers are super open. At the beginning of
every season, they sit us down and they say, like,
what do you think? Like what are things that you
want want to see? And it's just really it's really
nice to have writers ask you that question because it's
(14:33):
not always the case. So I'm very careful about not
saying it because sometimes like our ideas do sort of
manifest into a storyline. But I I'm like, I don't
want to say it because then it won't be used.
But I do feel like she has long way to go.
She has, you know, she's still at the beginning of
this new career. What does that look like, a new relationship?
(14:54):
What does that look like? And with a baby still,
you know, she's got a two year old, so what
is that like? There's so much much story still to tell,
And even when you think, like god, we've done it all,
they just do a great job of being like, hey, guys,
this is what we're going to do, and you're like
what you know? Like, we still get so shocked and
excited by our scripts. So I feel like she's at
the beginning. She's kind of starting fresh, even later in life,
(15:17):
with a lot of the things going on in her world.
So yes, I think there's a lot more story to tell,
but I don't want to say specifics because I'm hoping
that maybe one of them would get used.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
That's exciting. That gives a lot of hopes to people
who want this to continue on for years and years
to come. So I love that. That's awesome, Camilla. You
have been through many years on this show, and with
that comes a lot of personal growth, right and learning
about yourself and going through real life experiences that, as
you said, sometimes mirrored your characters. So when you think
about your career as a whole on Gray's Anatomy, how
(15:50):
are you different as a human being from when you
first join the show.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
I would say my confidence has grown a lot professionally,
because in a way, being on a show like that
is like the best acting class you could ever take.
Acting is like a muscle that you have to keep
working at. And when we are lucky enough to do
that many episodes and be thrown so many different storylines,
we really get to work that muscle a lot. So
(16:15):
I feel like I've been very fortunate to grow as
an actress on the show. So hopefully there's that change
that's happened. And then in my personal life, you know,
I become a mom, which is like a huge change,
And I think, what's really nice as I get older
is I care less about what people think. That's a
really nice feeling. That's a really nice feeling. And I
(16:37):
feel like that comes with having children too for some reason.
Oh really, yeah, I feel like because I feel like
I put myself in their position a lot. So I'm like,
would I want my daughter Hayden to care about what
this person thinks of her? No? I wouldn't, So why
would I care? So I feel like it's given me
more perspective.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
That's something that I think we all strive to have,
to be able to not care what people think.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
It's hard it's.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Hard, man, it's hard. It's hard. Yeah, I imagine that
was a practice for you to get to that point.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
It was just a natural progression. I'm really good about.
Like I here's another way in which I feel like
I've grown. I feel like boundaries was not something I
necessarily had in my twenties, and I learned like, oh, no,
boundaries is a really good thing. It's really good for
me to not go online and read all the comments,
(17:31):
Like that's a boundary that I make for myself once
in a while. I like scroll through, but I'm really
not taking in all the comments like I would in
the early days, like you know, what's going on, what
people thinking of storyline? That boundary for me has been
really good. So I feel like even that those are
ways in which I've been able to be able to
step back and again get that perspective and be like,
(17:52):
is this really part of my world? That my day
to day world. It's not like what this person's saying
about me, you know, it's just it's it's learning. It's
being on the job and learning as you go. You
know what works for you and what doesn't work for
you in terms of like your mental health and keeping
yourself afloat in a really crazy industry.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Well, and I think that's why you're able to continue
having such a thriving career while maintaining a sense of
truly who you are, because we all see that that's
easily lost in this industry. Yeah, and it's sad when
that happens. But I look at you, and I see
somebody so accomplished. I see a kick ass mom. I
see someone who has an amazing career. I see someone who,
(18:34):
you know, from what I can tell from social media,
lives her life with positivity and excitement and truly trying
to be the best version of you that you can be.
And all of that, to me means you're accomplished. That's
a very accomplished human being. How do you view accomplishment, I.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Think in one way. I mean there are so many
different ways I feel accomplished, but just being able to
be a parent, you know, even in my messy mistakes
as a parent, like I feel accomplished that I'm like
keeping two kids alive on a daily basis. But in
one way that I feel accomplished, I feel like I
never doubted in a crazy industry that this is what
I would end up doing when so many people doubted
(19:13):
growing up. You know, like, oh, yeah, she's let me
an actress like good luck and she's waitressing good Luck.
You know, I feel accomplished proving people wrong.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
That's powerful. That's powerful because you, at the end of
the day, can say I went for what I wanted
and I don't have any regrets doing it.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Yeah. And even if I'd gone for what I wanted
and it hadn't worked out, I still feel like I
would have proven people wrong by giving it my everything.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Man, I'm like sitting here thinking to myself right now,
what are the times in my life that I have
felt like I truly, truly, truly didn't care what people
thought of when I was on the journey to my career.
And I think you nailed it earlier. It's when you
get older you kind of step into that more and more.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Right, Yeah, I definitely do. And when I was back
when I was like waiting tables at Los Angeles, which
I had to do for a long time, it wasn't
like a six months jop. It was like I was
waiting tables like four years. I was still working and
waiting tables because I couldn't afford to just work in
the industry yet, and I would come up to people,
you know, on my table and they'd be like, chatty,
you know, what do you do And I'm like, well,
(20:17):
I'm actually an actress and they'd be like, you know,
I had so many people that I waited tables on
them were like okay, but what's your plan B or
like good luck you know, and so I feel like, yeah,
you know what, I did it nine pm, Thursday nights ABC.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
You know.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
So I had that constant reminder of people underminding just
strangers underminding what I wanted to do, let alone people
that I knew, And so, yeah, it does. It feels
nice to be like, I don't care what you think,
I'm going to get your hot wings, but like one
day I'm going to be able to quit this job.
And that happened, and so yeah, that feels that feels
like a huge accomplishment.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah, I would say, so you're on one of the
biggest shows in the entire world, which is a nature puishment.
I know there's a lot of parallels between show and
real life, but if you kind of separate it for
a minute and think about who is Camilla Ludington without
(21:15):
Gray's anatomy?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
What would you say, who is Kamila Luddington without Gray's anatomy.
That's an interesting question because it does it when you
when you're on the show for so long, it ends
up feeling like it is part of your identity because
when you're out in the world also, that's what people
are saying, like, hey, you're a jot, you know. So
to separate myself, okay, I would say that, you know,
(21:38):
my accent's all muddy right now. I'm from you know,
I'm from England, but I've just you know, I spent
so many years on the show and I'm filming in
an American action that it's all muddy. But I would
still say that I am still a girl from a
small town in England with big dreams. I still dream
really big about other things too. I would say that
I'm a mother, and I would say that I'm I'm
(22:00):
really creative. I like to think of myself as very
creative and fearless. I feel like you can't get into
this industry without being a little bit fearless. So that's
what I would say. I am without the show, and
at some point I will be without the show.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Is that weird for you to think about? It?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Is weird? Yeah, it's weird. I think it'll be really
hard the day that either I leave or the show
is done, it'll be hard. It'll be hard.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Yeah, well you don't need to think about that for
a while now.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I hope. I hope.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Yeah. But of course, when you grow that attached to something,
no matter what it is, in any industry, it's tough.
So that's a true sign you're loving the work that
you're doing. And I think that's really inspiring. And I
think it's also inspiring that you just said there's other
things you want to achieve, because someone from the outside
might look at you and say, oh, that's it. She's
hit it. There's nothing more for her, Like after the show,
she can just kind of coast through life and say
(22:56):
I did it. But you're like, no, I have other goals.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Well, there's a lot of different things I want to do,
and there's a lot of things that I can't talk
about that we're even working on right now that are
just different ways of being creative. So no, I hope
that this is just part of my story and it
will be.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
It will be. You have so much going on in
your life, like any working parent, right, how you take
that time for you? Like, is it important for you
to carve out time in your days or weeks to
have a little self care, a little you time. What
do you do to just kind of preserve your piece?
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, so this is also boundaries, and I think it's
important and it took me a long time to learn that.
Like you also need like boundaries with your children. It's
so easy to not have that because it's like they're
crawling all over you know, I have very young John,
I have a six year old, two year olds, so
they're crawling all over you. They need you all the time.
You're you know, you're constantly parenting. And so I think
(23:50):
one thing that I'm still learning to do is to
have that boundary of like, okay, you know what, Like
I need even if it's just like mommy's when I
make a cup of tea and I'm going to sit
outside and I need you guys to just play in
the playroom and just give me ten minutes because sometimes
like I don't have the time to go get my
nails done or have a massage or go for a hike.
(24:12):
Like the reality is my meed time might be just
making a cup of tea and just sitting outside in
the quiet. So it's like finding those little ways to
have boundaries during the day, just to center myself, ground
myself before I go in and deal with the chaos.
Like that to me is as important as oh my god,
I'm going to go to dinner with my girlfriends like
(24:32):
just that. So finding the moments and having that boundary.
I also think it's really good for them to see
me do that so that they can say, you know,
as they're even as kids, like hey, mommy, I need
some space, I need I need a second just to
be in my room, like you know, Lucas is driving
me crazy, whatever it is, like, I want them to
learn that they can see from me like that, I'm
(24:54):
advocating for myself, even if it's just like, hey, I
need a cup of tea and I want to sit
outside in the quiet but it's hot. I'm learning to
still remind myself to make those moments for myself. It's
really easy as a parent to get caught up in
the daily chaos and then crash out me in the
evening and you're like, what have I done for myself?
You know, I don't even showered, so yeah, it's a
(25:15):
learning curve.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah, yeah, well and I love that. A question I
never asked to people is how do you balance it
all as a parent? How do you juggle it all?
Because it's you don't like it's you can't juggle everything.
You can't balance it all. I mean, I'm not a parent,
but I know that without having kids, I feel like
I can't balance everything. But I carve out time for
the things that I can and I do the best
(25:37):
I can, and that's what we can all do.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Yeah, there is not going to be balanced. It's a
juggling act and sometimes you drop the balls and you
have to pick them back up. But like it's just
I think there is an element of just advocating for
yourself as a parent to even your own children, you know,
and just saying like, hey give me a second, mommy.
(26:00):
It's too loud, like mommy needs, you know, but it's hard.
I'm learning, and I'll probably they'll be older and I'll
still be learning.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Camilla, you strike me throughout this conversation as being a
very I'm going to go for something and nothing's going
to stop me type of gal. And I love that
about you, because I think fear can be very crippling
and discouraging, and for all of us, there's moments where
it tries to creep up, but we have to kind
of push it away and keep on going. Has there
(26:28):
ever been a point in your career where you wanted
to give up? And if so, why, and if not,
how do you maintain that mentality?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I honestly never had a point where I was going
to give up, only because I feel like I never
had a plan B. I didn't have a fallback plan,
so it was kind of do or die. It was like, honestly,
it felt like survival, Like it felt like this is
the thing that I need to do. It's the only
(26:57):
thing I really feel like I love and I'm passionate about,
I'm really good at and so that's it. There's no
other path for me, and so giving up has just
never been an option.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Well it served you who well obviously, so thank god
you did it. And now are at the point where
it's time to ask you the very very important question,
A tough question. You ready for it? Yes, what is
one thing that you have never said before?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
I have never said I hate sweatpants?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Ever, I need more information.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
The reason I say this is because I've been joking
about this week with my husband. When we go into
a store and I don't know, I really like some
people go into store and see like a beautiful necklace
or something like, oh my gosh. The amount of times
I go into a store I don't care where it is,
like Target, and I'm like, I'm literally blown away by
a pair of sweatpants and it brings me so much
joy to like, oh my god, these are amazing, Like
(28:00):
nothing brings me more comfort. I'm actually in sweatpants right now.
I'm in According to sweatpants, nothing brings me more comfort than
a good pair of sweatpants. So if you ever hear
me say that I don't like sweatpants, it's because it's
been written as a line on Gray's Anatomy. You will
never hear that come out of my mouth.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
So you're super fan.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
I'm a bigger fan. I play in the pandemic because
I mean, what we're like, we all lived as sweatpants
and then everyone maybe moved on and I never did.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
And you're also in scrubs a lot, and that's like
kind of in the family.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
It's in the family. But you would think that because
I'm in scrubs, like I want to get into like
jeans when I'm dumb, But no, I just want to
take it to the level lower and be in like
full of draw string sweatpants.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
You know what, You inspired me to go put some
on after this. I don't know why I'm not wearing
them now.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
That is self care, That is self care.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
You should trademark that saying sweatpants are self care.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
We are sweatpants of self care people.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Well, on that note, I'm going to put on five
pairs of sweatpants. Get really comfy, Camilla. I love talking
to you. You're killing it in all areas of your life,
and I look forward to continuing to watch you sore.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Thank you so much. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Thank you. It's a pleasure.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
Yes, for sure.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
I've Never Said this Before is hosted by Me Tommy Diderio.
This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio
and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've
Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Duran
podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review and
subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
(29:39):
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Dederio.
Host
Tommy DiDario
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