December 24, 2024 • 40 mins
As we get ready to enter a brand new year, I revisit powerful moments from some of your favorite stars like Justin Hartley of Tracker, Caterina Scorsone of Grey’s Anatomy, Jared Padalecki of Supernatural/Walker, Oliver Stark of 9-1-1, Bre-Z of All American, Lana Parrilla of Once Upon a Time and Jennifer Love Hewitt. This episode is a reminder that no matter how successful one may be, we all go through experiences in life that are defining moments for us. We all hurt, and hopefully we all heal. We all have doubts, worries, and fears. We all learn important life lessons through our lived experiences. We all have things that we have never said before. I have always believed that through having real, honest and open conversation, we can feel a little less alone in this increasingly difficult world to navigate. I hope what these guests open up about in this episode help you feel seen. And I hope that the stories, advice, and perspectives they share help you enter 2025 feeling like you are putting your very best foot forward. Thank you for tuning in all year. Here’s to a wonderful new chapter. See you next year.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, guys, welcome to I've never said this before with me,
Tommy di Dario, I cannot believe I am sitting here
recording my final episode of the year. Man, Where did
twenty twenty four go? But I guess first of all,
I have to say thank you to you for tuning
in every single week and being part of this amazing
(00:22):
tribe that we've built and that we're continuing to build,
and just showing up. I really appreciate you, and you know,
upon reflecting on this entire year, I have to say
I'm super proud and grateful that this show came to be.
I was always craving long form interviews and conversation because
I think those are the moments that we really get
(00:43):
truth and reality right. It's different than a carpet where
you have two minutes with someone. I mean, I love
a carpet, don't get me wrong. But I was craving connection,
and I think so many of us are craving connection.
So I want to thank my guests for coming on
and being vulnerable and open enough to yes, celebrate the
work that we love, but then to really have this
in depth, serious, heart to heart conversation, and we all
(01:04):
can pull something from what my guests share, which I
think is the most beautiful thing. It's that we're not
in this world alone. No matter how much success or
fame or money, or how perfect someone's life may seem,
guess what we all go through the same things. We
all feel the same, We are all humans. So I
hope if there's anything you get from the show, it's
that we all are cut from the same cloth. And
(01:27):
I'm really proud of bringing that to this show. So
in honor of that, today I am celebrating six or
seven or eight moments that have stayed with me far
beyond the microphones, far beyond the conversation that I had.
These moments have stayed with me for most of the year,
and they all share something different about my guess, but
they're all something that I think, in some way, shape
(01:47):
or form, we can relate to. And if you can't
relate to it, it's a good reminder for us. So
I hope you like these little pieces of wisdom I pulled.
I think it's really great to go into a new
year reminding ourselves of some really important lessons, and this
is what I hope that you will remind yourself of
as you enter a new year. So thank you for
(02:07):
tuning in every single week. I love you guys, You've
become family. Let's revisit what some of my guests have
never said before. Okay, First up, we have Katerina Scorsone
from Grey's Anatomy, who talks so beautifully about grief. She
totally reframes what our relationship with grief should be, and
(02:32):
she says something so beautiful. She says, grief is the
process of reconciling with what is. Grief is something we
all feel, it's something we can't turn off. But through
her words, she really helps us navigate how to work
through the ups and downs of all the feelings that
come along with grief. So is there something that you've
learned a really amazing, incredible life lesson since starting the
(02:55):
show that has always kind of stuck with you?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Okay, yeah, yes, So I think something that has been
coming to me, like in like Beautiful Waves especially. I mean,
obviously it accelerated during the pandemic, but you can see
it in Grays and through the twenty years of Grays
And I don't know if you know, my house burned
down like last January.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I'm so sad to see that on social media when
you posted that.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Yeah, it was like a super intense situation. But again,
like that happened, and then like in the aftermath, like
so much community came and like helped us rebuild our
lives and like brought toys for the kids and toothbrushes
and clothes and like it ended up being this really
beautiful regeneration. But it was kind of like the end
(03:43):
of like a kind of a chapter of like pandemic
and COVID and like all of this like intense you know,
world loss. And I think you see that in Grays
as well, Like through the twenty years, there's been so
much intense, intense tragedy. And I think that the way
people survive, and I don't mean survive, like even in
(04:07):
the pandemic, people died, but the spirit survives, it's by
learning how to create a positive relationship with grief. And
I talked about it at Paileafest, and that was kind
of the first time some of those words had come
out of my life, and it's really been refining in
(04:27):
my mind that that we kind of look I think
in American culture especially, we look at grief as something
terrible that we don't want to be near. But actually
grief is the process of reconciling with what is, and
what is in every moment is actually full of love
(04:49):
and life. And so as long as we haven't grieved,
we're in the past trying to experience something that's not
here anymore. So our experience is actually more hollow and
thin and not nourishing because we're over here and actually
life has become here. And so until we realize that
grief is our opportunity to like make out with reality,
(05:14):
which is here, we're not going to end up having
the full the full experience of our entitlement to our moment, right,
And so grief is beautiful. And the more we like
look at it with curiosity and like romance and go, okay,
what is left to grief? What am I still holding
(05:36):
on to that isn't real or isn't here now was
real and now there's this new reality. The more we're gonna,
I don't know, get in touch with the vitalness that's
going to create an amazing now and a more grateful
future where you're looking at everything that actually still is
with like, holy cow, I can't believe I get to
(05:58):
like experience all of this like life, like I'm here
and I can see, and I can touch, and I
can love anyway. I think that I think grief is
kind of the key to life at this point, and
that's something that I think Gray's Anatomy teaches us over
and over again.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Wow, I got chills with you saying that, because I
think we so often think of grief as this horrible
thing and it makes us sad and maybe makes us cry,
and we don't want to experience it, but we do,
and it can be really debilitating and make you not
want to maybe live in that moment because it hurts
so badly. But you're saying it's necessary to appreciate and
(06:39):
be present and live your life and it's.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Okay to grieve and not let that paralyze you.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Yeah, And it also tells you, like what you cared
about if you're grieving, I mean, even like, give me
a small example. If you're grieving, you know, or like
a breakup, you get to find out that, like you
really were attached to the idea that life would look
like this, or you loved that person, or you love
that moment in your relationship or that time right, and
(07:07):
so you get in touch with your values because you're like,
oh God, that was so important to me that I'm
feeling this intense pain now because it's something I wanted
so much and it didn't go the way I wanted
it to. I feel so disappointed that it didn't that
I don't get to have it now. But that's what
I value. So where is that in my now? And
(07:29):
what do I need to do to be around more
of that thing that I loved or loved so much
in mine now?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Oh my god, you have me over here getting all
emotional about all of this.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
That's Oh, that's powerful.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
That's powerful because I think we all can relate to it,
you know. Yeah, well, that's that's amazing. And thank you
for reframing that in a way that makes it feel
okay and less scary and.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
We don't beat ourselves up over it.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
So I think that's a really cool perspective and an
interesting way to frame it. And I've never really heard
that before from anybody, so I appreciate you mentioning that.
In this clip with Oliver Stark, who of course stars
in nine one one, he talks about the importance of
nurturing friendships and he's at a point in his life
where he wants to form quality relationships and he realized
(08:21):
that he doesn't have as many in his life right
now that he would like to because of work and
focusing all his attention on trying to get to where
he is in his life, which I think is really relatable.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Right.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
We sometimes neglect the things that we love or the
relationships we want to form because we are so ego
eyed on that end goal. And hearing him talk about this,
especially as a man who wants brothers, as he says,
in his life to open up to, I think is
really powerful to a great reminder. So take a listen.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
Okay, So kind of I guess on the same path
of what we were talking about earlier about in your
twenties and finding yourself.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
And I guess maybe in some ways I'm going to
contradict myself because I said one of the things I'm
proud of myself for is committing to kind of life
outside of the job.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Right.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
I was thinking about this recently, and you know, one
thing I wish that I had been better at in
my life, and I think this is a thing that's
maybe important for certainly young men in their twenties is
I wish that I had committed more to like nurturing friendships.
(09:33):
Like I know a lot of people in my life,
but I don't know how many like friends I have
because I kind of just explain, Yeah, I don't know
if I put myself out there enough to keep friendships
alive and thriving. And so I know a lot of people,
but I don't know how many people. You know, maybe
not more than I could count on my fingers. Could
I like really go to with stuff? So I think
(09:56):
I think there was one thing that I could do
differently about the last I don't know, ten years of
my life. It would be to focus more on like
building friendships. And I think anybody that's kind of in
the early to mid twenties, I think, yeah, focus in
on that because those are the people that you're really
going to want to have around you and be able
(10:18):
to lean on.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
M That's a really important point.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Is that something that is challenging to do now with
the job you have or you're kind of working on
that now, it is challenging.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I'm trying to do more of it. But it's also
it's like when you're in your late twenties or thirties,
so where do you meet new people unless you work
with them?
Speaker 5 (10:41):
You know, like I'm not out going to bars every weekend,
and yeah, it's like, so where do you meet friends?
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Like, yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
So I hope to have the possibility to continue to
work on it, but yeah, I do.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
It's something that I struggle with.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Well, thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
I think that's a really important point, especially in this
day and age with social media and screens and tablets
and people living on their phones and devices and you know,
these replacing human interactions.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
I think that's a really good.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Reminder to continue making those quality connections right, quality.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Yes, exactly, that quality over corn.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
This clip is with Breezy, who of course stars an
All American and I couldn't love this conversation more. It's
a reminder that there is no love like self love
and the importance of being good to ourselves. And I
think the big headline for me is you can't fill
other people's cup if you aren't able to fill your
own cup first. So for anyone out there who needs
a little reminder about the importance of loving yourself, this
(11:46):
one's for you. And I wrap up every episode with
a question based off the title of the show, And
that question is, what is one thing you've never said before.
I know you've done a lot of interviews, you put
a lot out there. You have such a big heart,
so you do. You share a lot, But is there
something that you can think of that you haven't shared before.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
I would say that I never shared the truth that
I have never loved myself properly. I've never said that.
I've never even said it out loud. This is my
first time saying it. It's always it's a it's a
(12:29):
about a year old thought and just to continue on
with what you do to take care of yourself and
mental health and things like that. Like that's what led
me to that figuring that out, the journey of loving
(12:50):
myself better and not being so accessible to everything and everybody,
you know, kind of just going inside and shutting the
door sometimes and just really taking care of yourself and
then going out when you're ready, you know, Like that's
(13:11):
the journey. I'm one now, So no, I've never I've
never I never said it one two, never admitted that
you know, or even new or acknowledged it. It's all
it's all new to me right now. But it's a
it's a part of my life that I'm dealing with now,
but that I'm also happy to share and knowing that
(13:33):
it's one of those things that I'm sure there's somebody
watching going through the same thing.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
When was the moment where you realized that when you
when you thought, oh my god, I don't think I've
ever really loved myself?
Speaker 6 (13:50):
I would say last year around what am I thinking of?
Maybe April May of last year. I just I woke
up one morning and I just looked in the mirror
and I just hated everything. Hated what was around me,
(14:13):
hated what my personal life was, the relationship I was in.
I didn't like any of it. And I was like,
what are you doing? Why are you doing it? What
part of all of these things that I'm now seeing
in the mirror in this one moment, what about all
these things are good for you? And none of it was?
(14:38):
And I was like, wow, Like it was just it
was sad, It was hurtful, It was painful, It was
a painful thing to get through. I would say that today,
you know, way further past that just heavy feeling of
it all than I was last year, but still gradually
working at it every single day. But it was just
(15:01):
it was just the realization that nothing I was doing
was for my benefit or for my good or was
filling my cup. For lack of bad.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Words, M and did you feel that most of your
life but suppressed that until it just you couldn't suppress
that any longer a year ago, Yeah.
Speaker 6 (15:22):
I think that, you know. I just in that moment
I realized that my cup was empty. I just I
felt depleted in every way emotionally, mentally, physically. I was like,
what am I doing? What am I doing? And that
was a hard question I had to ask myself, and
(15:44):
the realization of everything around me that I mentioned it
was it was very hard to accept. But for some reason,
I was just like, I'm not doing any of it.
I don't have an explanation. I don't even know why.
I don't have nothing to talk about. I'm just not
doing it. And I have not looked back since that day.
(16:08):
So now I'm just like forward thinking, forward movement, only
if it's not And again I have my own stuff
that I'm still dealing with, but I'm not doing that anymore,
you know what I mean? And it absolutely has to
be beneficial to me, and I have to be able
to replenish myself and energize myself and make myself happy
(16:32):
and love myself, you know, at a certain level before
I expect somebody else to, you know. So that's what
I'm working on.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Now.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
That's amazing that you share that, because I think people
look at you and they say, she has success and
fame and hit show after hit show, and it's so
popular and has millions of social media followers. But you,
at the end of the day, weren't happy right in
that you let me.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Take something happy.
Speaker 6 (17:00):
What you just said was the hardest pill for me
to swallow because the perception of who I was or
who people think I am, even now you know what
I'm saying, had not matched my reality. So I also
felt like I can't even do that anymore. So if
I can't sit here and talk to you as a
(17:22):
friend and like be honest with you, then we actually
just can't have a conversation, you know what I mean.
So a lot of the oh my god, you're this,
and oh it's that, Oh my god, you did congratulate,
and I was like, I want to hear it, you know,
and it became like it just became uncomfortable you know, like, no, like,
(17:43):
how how do I go? How am I the person
that people look up to so much? People think I
got all the answers and I do all the things,
and I'm just the best of this and the best
of that. I'm like, I ain't shit, not like in
a crazy way, but I'm just like, you know, I'm
coming to all these realizations about myself and this is
(18:05):
the exact opposite of what people are thinking, you know,
about me. And I'm like, not that I don't possess
any of those things, but in totally in totality, I'm sorry, no,
you know, and the bad parts were outweighing the good,
and I'm like, I have to. I have to make
(18:26):
a change, you know. And I'm happy to share in
along my journey because I'm interested to see what part
of that helps people too, you know what I mean.
Because I'm like, I can't be the only one. Can't
be the only one, you know what I mean. So
(18:48):
I'm happy to and you know, it's a very vulnerable
time for me as well, but I'm okay, like I
feel like I have someone who absolutely loves and protects me,
you know, so so I feel safe, you know, And
being able to be comfortable in my vulnerability. And that's
(19:08):
so important too, like the people you have around you,
you know, especially if you're if you have a partner
in an intimate way of some sort, you know that
that's so important. And that's kind of where it starts,
because you go outside, but you have to come home
every day.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
You know.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
It's like the person you'll deal with the most. So
I've had the luxury of having a special person that
has helped me through all this, but it hasn't been
It hasn't been easy, you know, but I'm still like
standing strong in the pursuance of my own happiness.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
This was a powerful conversation. This is with Jared Padalaki,
who you know and you love, of course from Supernatural
and most recently Walker and I want to put out
a trigger warning. We do talk about mental health and
suicidal ideations. But this is such a beautiful and important
conversation because he shares a part of his mental health
journey for the first time, and he shares this in
(20:00):
hope of helping anyone out there struggling and to show
the importance of getting help. He cannot stress enough how
you need to get help if you feel like you
need it. So for anyone having ups and downs or struggling,
this is for you. Well, we have come to that
point of the show where I ask every single guest
who comes on, what is one thing that you have
(20:23):
never said before? So whatever you're comfortable with sharing. I
know you guys over the years have done so many
interviews and have talked about so many things, so it
might be challenging, but can you think of anything that
you have never said before?
Speaker 7 (20:38):
Never said before? Admittedly, that is, like you mentioned, difficult
to try and figure out having done interviews and conventions
and whatnot. I've been proudly open about my own relationship
with mental health and the Always Keep funding campaign has
been a great help for me and I think for
(20:59):
many of us that have expressed that it's helped them.
So I'll say this. It was twenty fifteen, at a
really low moment. I was open about going back and
going to therapy and going to a clinic. But I
was letting my brain, letting my thoughts kind of take
over and going to a place of like dramatic suicidal ideation.
(21:24):
And called my wife and she said get home, and
so got home, went to a clinic for a couple
of weeks and looked into it and haven't been suicidal since,
not for a moment that hadn't been said. There are
still highs and lows that we talked about earlier, like
you're not You're a human, I'm a human, She's a human.
(21:44):
Everybody who's listening to this presumably as a human going
to be a human. So there are highs and lows,
and I don't know about what I have never said,
but I will say this for now as I said
here today, today's a low. I'm fine, nothing to worry about,
(22:04):
but there's a lot of I have a lot of
sadness about UH Walker the family, and again my tears
aren't for myself, but I know I'll be fine because
I'm talking to you about it. I talked to Jen
about it, I talked to my friends about it. And
so just to please please be open, please share, Please
(22:24):
find somebody, whether it's a friend or professional, and UH
and speak and speak of truth. And just because you're low,
now you know meet with triumph and disaster and truth.
Those two imposters just the same. I know the other
shoe will drop, and I have friends, I love, a
new friend I love, uh and the family I love.
So I'm just excited to be out there, be open
(22:46):
and something you said earlier or Jen said earlier, will
see just those two words or one contraction and one word,
but we'll see, you know, something seems great, might not be.
We'll see something seems terrible. We'll see. Like keeping an
open mind and looking to tomorrow, looking to next week,
next month, next year has helped a lot. So just that,
(23:07):
just thinking about like, hey, we'll see.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Yeah, thank you for thank you for opening up about that.
And yeah, and Jim, before we get to you, Jared,
I think that it's so import more and more people
talk about that. And you brought up something specifically that
I do want to touch on a little further because
I don't think a lot of people would feel safe
or often enough to reveal that. And you mentioned a clinic,
(23:33):
and I presume that's a place you actually went for
a period of time to get some help. And I
don't know, I don't know if you've if you've talked
about that before or not, but I thank you for
that because I don't think people there's such a stigma
surrounding that. Still there's a huge stigma around mental health still.
I mean I've lost a friend to her mental health struggle,
which was a horrifying time in my life. And I
don't think people talk about that enough. But people certainly
(23:56):
don't talk enough about going to a place to actually
get the help. So thank you for sharing that and
for people listening who might feel like that's something they
could never bring themselves to do, even though they might
need to do that.
Speaker 7 (24:09):
What would you say, Well, first, I don't think everybody
needs it. I got to a place where I needed it.
I needed a full reset. I had spent you know,
fifteen years in this industry where I was. You know,
when you go to an audition or a red carpet,
they don't want like, Jared, how are you doing today? Oh? Man,
today was rough and like I didn't sleep. They want like,
(24:31):
oh it's great, like excited to be here, excited to
be you know. So I had done that for so long,
trying to focus. Like we talked earlier about like what's
best for the person who's talking to me as opposed
to like just being honest. And there's a time of
place I would say, it's it's I don't I don't
(24:51):
wear it as a scarlet letter, like it's not like
I'm shameful, Like, hey, I see a therapist. I've been
to a clinic. I like were proudly, like I put
it on my face and like tell everybody, like yeah, dude,
if you don't, if you're not in the situation where
you need that degree of help, then don't seek it.
But I needed a surgeon, not literally, but you know
what I mean, Like, yeah, I needed it, and here
(25:14):
I am and I've never been Like I said, today's
a hard day. It's been a hard month since we
found out. But I'm in a great place with my wife,
our children, my friends, my family, and so I'm certain
without Jen and without my time is spent really going
like okay, these feelings and thoughts are real feelings and thoughts,
(25:37):
but they're not reality, Like how do I put those
over there? And you're like, Okay, I'm feeling really excited,
that's going to change. I'm feeling really down, that's going
to change. I'm feeling really anxious. That's going to change.
So just learning to look seek help, open up even
if you don't think you need it, like even if
you're doing it, like hey, you're fit you're healthy, why
(25:59):
not talk to an Trishnans? Why not get a personal
trainer to show you how to properly do your squads?
Like why not, like we spend all this time? You know,
we have financial planners. If you're fortunate not to have
a job, you have prosfit trainers or Orange theory or
whatever showing you how to properly do a row, Like
why not look into your brain? Like you live in
(26:19):
your brain? You know, we don't have a brain. We
are a brain and our body just follows. So why not,
Like it seems so silly to not want to look
into it, but not silly. I don't want to want
to make it sound flippant. But if you have the opportunity,
there are a lot of resources out there, so please, please,
(26:40):
please please look into it. And it's great.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
It feels great, So for all my parents out there.
Jennifer Loview it opens up about her fears as a mom.
I think many moms and dads will find this useful.
You may not have all the answers, but you will
always figure it out, even Jennifer of you, it feels
that way right. There's no guide book to parenting, and
I'm not a parent, but I have many friends who
are and you do the best you can. And I
(27:04):
think this reminder from Jennifer is a really good example
that everybody has some fears and levels of anxiety as
they are raising their kids, but at the end of
the day, you're going to figure it out.
Speaker 8 (27:16):
Oh boy, here we go.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
The name of the show. Oh you know what's coming.
It's called I've never said this before. And the show
was born.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Because I cover a lot of red carpets and junkets,
and you get like three minutes maybe six minutes if
you're lucky, at a junket to talk to people. And
I just saw this longing in people's eyes, wanting to
talk about things a bit more substantial, right, and are
a bit more real life, which we've done a lot
today already. But I'm wondering, is there anything that comes
to mind for you that you've never said before that
(27:47):
you wanted to say or share today, whatever that means
to you.
Speaker 9 (27:52):
Yeah, I think it does sort of fit with what
we have been talking about a little bit.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
I do.
Speaker 9 (27:58):
I think I've never set out loud before to anyone,
maybe other than my husband, that I have a real
fear as a mom about the kind of.
Speaker 8 (28:09):
Mom I'm going to be when my kids are teenagers.
Speaker 9 (28:12):
And it kind of goes back into what we're talking
about before in that I just don't have like I
never went to high school, like walk down to high school.
Speaker 10 (28:21):
I mean, I did the school work of high school and.
Speaker 8 (28:23):
I graduated and I but I did it on a set.
Speaker 9 (28:26):
I never went to a high school party other than
can't hardly wait. I haven't had those experiences. And right
now I feel like I really thrive as a mom
because the kid in me can throw a magical party
and it can you know, make a magical movie theater
moment or you know, whatever it is.
Speaker 8 (28:45):
And like the kid in me is thriving as a mom.
But when it comes to being a teenager.
Speaker 9 (28:51):
Or a grown up, you know, kind of going into
your grown up place as a I really worry, like
it panics me a lot that I'm not that I'm
going to fail somehow because I don't have those life experiences.
And thankfully my husband does and he he was he
lived a very normal teenage life. But I don't want
(29:14):
to fail them that way, Like I really want to
thrive and be there for them and do that and
not like weirdly want to show up at the prom
because I never about to go to one. Like I
could just see myself like also coming down the stairs
and she's all that moment and Autumn being like, not now,
this is not your time, you know, Like I just
(29:34):
want to. I just want to be there for them,
and I want to I want to know all the things,
but I don't have those life experiences, and it gives
me a lot of anxiety.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
So how do you calm that? Or can you not?
Speaker 8 (29:48):
I can't. I mean I think I just have to
do my best. Yeah, Like I think I'm just gonna
have to do my best.
Speaker 9 (29:55):
And and I think maybe I said it to Autumn
the other day because she's eleven now, and you know,
we a kind of talking about it.
Speaker 8 (30:00):
And she was like, what was it like when you
were eleven? And I was like, oh boy, here we go.
Speaker 9 (30:04):
I was at auditions, like I have no I have
no reference for her that's going to be helpful.
Speaker 8 (30:09):
But I told her how I felt inside.
Speaker 9 (30:11):
And so I feel like maybe I'm just gonna have
to go with my gut and maybe I'm just going
to learn a lot, Like I feel like I'm I
feel like, maybe there's a part of me that's going
to go and experience it, maybe for the first time,
and I'm going to have to be okay with that,
and maybe there will be something beautiful that comes out
of it.
Speaker 8 (30:30):
But it makes me very afraid.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Well, after reading your book and after talking to you
for almost an hour, it's clear you know what you're doing,
and your family is very lucky to have you, and
I think you know it's it's normal to feel all
those things. But yeah, something tells me you're going to
be just fine. Just don't show up in the prom
ball gown.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
Please can't wait?
Speaker 8 (30:53):
Okay, all right, I won't.
Speaker 9 (30:55):
Maybe for my fiftieth I'll throw myself a prom How
about that?
Speaker 8 (30:57):
Oh that would be so cute, Right you want to
call me?
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Yes, I am a great you.
Speaker 8 (31:04):
Can come it from.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
I had such a great conversation with Justin Hartley, and
this clip you are about to hear is one of
my favorite things of the whole year, I think because
it's such an important lesson that sometimes you need a
reminder of. I need a reminder of, and it's that
you're the company you keep right. You want to surround
yourself with those who lift and inspire and motivate you.
(31:32):
And that's something that sometimes, with the craziness of life,
we can forget. But I think it's a great reminder
from justin take a listen. What is something you've learned
about yourself through all of these years as a working actor?
I mean, you're going from job to job and you're
hustling and it's a very unconventional business. Is there something
that you've really learned that has helped you kind of
(31:54):
in this in this career, choice, in this path, in
your personal life that you can share with people today
that might help them.
Speaker 11 (32:02):
Find the right partner. Find the right partner, find someone
who finds someone who someone who will walk to the
end of the earth with you, who trusts you. Surround
yourself with with the best of the best. Uh, And
don't worry so much about pleasing everyone, because I think
(32:25):
the I think the people that that get you, that
get your heart, didn't know who you are, the really
understand you your kindness.
Speaker 4 (32:33):
I don't.
Speaker 11 (32:34):
I don't think any of that factors into it.
Speaker 8 (32:36):
I don't.
Speaker 11 (32:36):
I don't think making sure that you're pleasing other people
really has anything to do with that. I think it's
being present in the moment. It's an easy thing to say,
a very very hard thing to do, but yeah, find
the right partner and that could be that could be
in a in a in a spouse, that could be
in a sister, that could be in a mother, that
could be in anybody your team. Just just pour into
your team. Find the right people. Surround yourself with people
(32:58):
that are like minded, that that appreciate themselves and that
appreciate your help, and that you can ask advice from,
that you can trust, and when you have that, you
have and your health.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
The rest is cake.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Really Yeah, Okay. You know and love Lana Paria from
Once Upon a Time, a fan favorite show, and in
this clip she opens up about her anxiety and how
she calms down her mind and a big, big thing
for me that I got out of this is the
importance of putting down devices and how much that can
actually trigger stress and anxiety. Even more so, I love
(33:37):
that she opens up a bit about her mental health
and what she does to really unwind and maintain her anxiety,
because it's not something that ever fully goes away, but
according to her and many people, you can definitely control it.
And I think that's such a good lesson as we
go into the new year. Right, it's not beating ourselves
up for having anxiety, it's just learning how to manage
and deal with it. With everything going on with such
(33:59):
a busy career, with this work ethic that you can't
seem to turn off, how do you take time for you? Like,
is it hard for you to unwind and just be
still and be present?
Speaker 8 (34:11):
Yes? And I don't think it's only my fault.
Speaker 10 (34:15):
I think it's the fault of these devices, because I
yesterday I like to go on these walks. I do
these like walking meditations, and they are quiet. It's just
me and nature with my dog and listening to the
sounds around me. And sometimes you want to like put
(34:39):
on that audible right, or you're like, oh, let me
make that phone call. But I have to force myself
to just turn off. I put my phone on do
not disturb, and I just walk and I let sort.
Speaker 8 (34:51):
Of the gods that be to speak to me.
Speaker 10 (34:55):
And that's how I work through whatever I'm struggling with
At the moment. I think about, okay, where I am.
You know how we love working on ourselves and how
could we improve?
Speaker 8 (35:07):
Why do I do that? What could I do.
Speaker 10 (35:10):
Instead, I think about my career, and I think about,
oh my god, is that it? Like this strike really
screwed everybody up, and now everyone's out of work and
we're all trying to figure it out. And how do I,
you know, stay positive? How do I continue to manifest
the things that I want? Like that's I guess that's
(35:33):
how I spend my time, which isn't really like completely
turning off, but it is. It's very relaxing for me,
and it's time with myself, and I think that's critical.
I think anytime you can turn off the device and
just step outside and be in nature, it's like a
little mini vacation. So I try to take those like
(35:55):
three times a week.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
And we have to remind ourselves to do that. Like
I'm here in New York City and I found myself
walking from point A to point B looking at my phone,
and I'm like, I'm in the greatest city in the world.
Why am I not looking up and around and taking
in the sun And oh, there's Central Park And I
don't need to answer this text. I don't need to
be scrolling Instagram as I'm walking the streets of New York.
(36:17):
Like enough you know, it's a reminder that we have
to keep telling ourselves, like put it away, It's okay,
you know.
Speaker 10 (36:25):
It is, and it's very you know. I know I'm
older than you, but I know I'm one of the last.
Our generation knows a world without these devices. And I
started thinking, like, I have a lot of fans who
asked me questions about like what do you do when
you're struggling with anxiety?
Speaker 8 (36:45):
You know, I don't know what I want to do
with my life.
Speaker 10 (36:48):
Even a relative yesterday called me and said, I just
feel like I'm not listening, I'm not as focused, I
can't retain information. And they're twenty one years old, you know.
And I said, I don't envy kids today. I think
it's really hard for them. The pressures, I mean the
pressures that we have of like did you get my text?
Did you get my email? I'm like, wait, when'd you
(37:10):
said it? Like twenty minutes ago? You're like, what, I
was in a shower.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
You know.
Speaker 8 (37:16):
It's just there's so much more pressure. So I feel that, especially.
Speaker 10 (37:22):
As an adult, and when our world started shifting from
like home voice mail machines to you know, cell phones
and and you know scripts now that we have to
print out or read online, and you know, it's just
not I feel like I'm sounding like one of those
(37:42):
old people that really just was like it was better when,
but it was I think psychologically and just health wise,
like it was better, you know, only because we didn't.
We trusted more. We trusted people more, you know, we
weren't spying and like trying to find out things on
their phone or you know, if someone didn't call you
(38:05):
right away, you didn't think that they were in a
car accident. You just thought they're like, oh whatever. You know,
you left a message on their machine and sometimes they
get back to you two days later, and you didn't
worry that something was wrong, you know. And I do
miss that time. I miss the freedom of the mind
that can go in so many different places because you're
(38:28):
not bogged down by this device.
Speaker 8 (38:31):
And that's that's like it actually brings tears to my eyes.
Speaker 10 (38:37):
It truly does, because it I guess it's also why
I did that movie, because it felt like, oh my god,
you guys, what are we doing?
Speaker 8 (38:46):
What are we doing to ourselves?
Speaker 10 (38:49):
Like I know, metas whatever, and probably gonna get banned
for saying all this, but like.
Speaker 8 (38:54):
I just I just think this world is so beautiful.
Step outside, look at the trees. Hut, what a freaking tree.
Speaker 10 (39:01):
I hug the trees in the neighborhood all the time.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
These people just see you. People just see you hugging
trees around town.
Speaker 10 (39:07):
There are these oak trees that are like so three
hundred years old, and they're so beautiful, you know, and
I just like I feel the energy coming from them.
Speaker 8 (39:17):
What's the energy that we need to connect to?
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Truly, I've Never Said This Before is hosted by Me
Tommy Dedario. This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi
at iHeartRadio and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney.
I've Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis
Duran podcast network on iHeart Podcasts. For more rate review
(39:43):
and subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy de Dario.
Speaker 11 (40:00):
Yeah.
Hey, guys, welcome to I've never said this before with me,
Tommy di Dario, I cannot believe I am sitting here
recording my final episode of the year. Man, Where did
twenty twenty four go? But I guess first of all,
I have to say thank you to you for tuning
in every single week and being part of this amazing
(00:22):
tribe that we've built and that we're continuing to build,
and just showing up. I really appreciate you, and you know,
upon reflecting on this entire year, I have to say
I'm super proud and grateful that this show came to be.
I was always craving long form interviews and conversation because
I think those are the moments that we really get
(00:43):
truth and reality right. It's different than a carpet where
you have two minutes with someone. I mean, I love
a carpet, don't get me wrong. But I was craving connection,
and I think so many of us are craving connection.
So I want to thank my guests for coming on
and being vulnerable and open enough to yes, celebrate the
work that we love, but then to really have this
in depth, serious, heart to heart conversation, and we all
(01:04):
can pull something from what my guests share, which I
think is the most beautiful thing. It's that we're not
in this world alone. No matter how much success or
fame or money, or how perfect someone's life may seem,
guess what we all go through the same things. We
all feel the same, We are all humans. So I
hope if there's anything you get from the show, it's
that we all are cut from the same cloth. And
(01:27):
I'm really proud of bringing that to this show. So
in honor of that, today I am celebrating six or
seven or eight moments that have stayed with me far
beyond the microphones, far beyond the conversation that I had.
These moments have stayed with me for most of the year,
and they all share something different about my guess, but
they're all something that I think, in some way, shape
(01:47):
or form, we can relate to. And if you can't
relate to it, it's a good reminder for us. So
I hope you like these little pieces of wisdom I pulled.
I think it's really great to go into a new
year reminding ourselves of some really important lessons, and this
is what I hope that you will remind yourself of
as you enter a new year. So thank you for
(02:07):
tuning in every single week. I love you guys, You've
become family. Let's revisit what some of my guests have
never said before. Okay, First up, we have Katerina Scorsone
from Grey's Anatomy, who talks so beautifully about grief. She
totally reframes what our relationship with grief should be, and
(02:32):
she says something so beautiful. She says, grief is the
process of reconciling with what is. Grief is something we
all feel, it's something we can't turn off. But through
her words, she really helps us navigate how to work
through the ups and downs of all the feelings that
come along with grief. So is there something that you've
learned a really amazing, incredible life lesson since starting the
(02:55):
show that has always kind of stuck with you?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Okay, yeah, yes, So I think something that has been
coming to me, like in like Beautiful Waves especially. I mean,
obviously it accelerated during the pandemic, but you can see
it in Grays and through the twenty years of Grays
And I don't know if you know, my house burned
down like last January.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I'm so sad to see that on social media when
you posted that.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Yeah, it was like a super intense situation. But again,
like that happened, and then like in the aftermath, like
so much community came and like helped us rebuild our
lives and like brought toys for the kids and toothbrushes
and clothes and like it ended up being this really
beautiful regeneration. But it was kind of like the end
(03:43):
of like a kind of a chapter of like pandemic
and COVID and like all of this like intense you know,
world loss. And I think you see that in Grays
as well, Like through the twenty years, there's been so
much intense, intense tragedy. And I think that the way
people survive, and I don't mean survive, like even in
(04:07):
the pandemic, people died, but the spirit survives, it's by
learning how to create a positive relationship with grief. And
I talked about it at Paileafest, and that was kind
of the first time some of those words had come
out of my life, and it's really been refining in
(04:27):
my mind that that we kind of look I think
in American culture especially, we look at grief as something
terrible that we don't want to be near. But actually
grief is the process of reconciling with what is, and
what is in every moment is actually full of love
(04:49):
and life. And so as long as we haven't grieved,
we're in the past trying to experience something that's not
here anymore. So our experience is actually more hollow and
thin and not nourishing because we're over here and actually
life has become here. And so until we realize that
grief is our opportunity to like make out with reality,
(05:14):
which is here, we're not going to end up having
the full the full experience of our entitlement to our moment, right,
And so grief is beautiful. And the more we like
look at it with curiosity and like romance and go, okay,
what is left to grief? What am I still holding
(05:36):
on to that isn't real or isn't here now was
real and now there's this new reality. The more we're gonna,
I don't know, get in touch with the vitalness that's
going to create an amazing now and a more grateful
future where you're looking at everything that actually still is
with like, holy cow, I can't believe I get to
(05:58):
like experience all of this like life, like I'm here
and I can see, and I can touch, and I
can love anyway. I think that I think grief is
kind of the key to life at this point, and
that's something that I think Gray's Anatomy teaches us over
and over again.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Wow, I got chills with you saying that, because I
think we so often think of grief as this horrible
thing and it makes us sad and maybe makes us cry,
and we don't want to experience it, but we do,
and it can be really debilitating and make you not
want to maybe live in that moment because it hurts
so badly. But you're saying it's necessary to appreciate and
(06:39):
be present and live your life and it's.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Okay to grieve and not let that paralyze you.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Yeah, And it also tells you, like what you cared
about if you're grieving, I mean, even like, give me
a small example. If you're grieving, you know, or like
a breakup, you get to find out that, like you
really were attached to the idea that life would look
like this, or you loved that person, or you love
that moment in your relationship or that time right, and
(07:07):
so you get in touch with your values because you're like,
oh God, that was so important to me that I'm
feeling this intense pain now because it's something I wanted
so much and it didn't go the way I wanted
it to. I feel so disappointed that it didn't that
I don't get to have it now. But that's what
I value. So where is that in my now? And
(07:29):
what do I need to do to be around more
of that thing that I loved or loved so much
in mine now?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Oh my god, you have me over here getting all
emotional about all of this.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
That's Oh, that's powerful.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
That's powerful because I think we all can relate to it,
you know. Yeah, well, that's that's amazing. And thank you
for reframing that in a way that makes it feel
okay and less scary and.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
We don't beat ourselves up over it.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
So I think that's a really cool perspective and an
interesting way to frame it. And I've never really heard
that before from anybody, so I appreciate you mentioning that.
In this clip with Oliver Stark, who of course stars
in nine one one, he talks about the importance of
nurturing friendships and he's at a point in his life
where he wants to form quality relationships and he realized
(08:21):
that he doesn't have as many in his life right
now that he would like to because of work and
focusing all his attention on trying to get to where
he is in his life, which I think is really relatable.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Right.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
We sometimes neglect the things that we love or the
relationships we want to form because we are so ego
eyed on that end goal. And hearing him talk about this,
especially as a man who wants brothers, as he says,
in his life to open up to, I think is
really powerful to a great reminder. So take a listen.
Speaker 4 (08:48):
Okay, So kind of I guess on the same path
of what we were talking about earlier about in your
twenties and finding yourself.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
And I guess maybe in some ways I'm going to
contradict myself because I said one of the things I'm
proud of myself for is committing to kind of life
outside of the job.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Right.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
I was thinking about this recently, and you know, one
thing I wish that I had been better at in
my life, and I think this is a thing that's
maybe important for certainly young men in their twenties is
I wish that I had committed more to like nurturing friendships.
(09:33):
Like I know a lot of people in my life,
but I don't know how many like friends I have
because I kind of just explain, Yeah, I don't know
if I put myself out there enough to keep friendships
alive and thriving. And so I know a lot of people,
but I don't know how many people. You know, maybe
not more than I could count on my fingers. Could
I like really go to with stuff? So I think
(09:56):
I think there was one thing that I could do
differently about the last I don't know, ten years of
my life. It would be to focus more on like
building friendships. And I think anybody that's kind of in
the early to mid twenties, I think, yeah, focus in
on that because those are the people that you're really
going to want to have around you and be able
(10:18):
to lean on.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
M That's a really important point.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Is that something that is challenging to do now with
the job you have or you're kind of working on
that now, it is challenging.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I'm trying to do more of it. But it's also
it's like when you're in your late twenties or thirties,
so where do you meet new people unless you work
with them?
Speaker 5 (10:41):
You know, like I'm not out going to bars every weekend,
and yeah, it's like, so where do you meet friends?
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Like, yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
So I hope to have the possibility to continue to
work on it, but yeah, I do.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
It's something that I struggle with.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Well, thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
I think that's a really important point, especially in this
day and age with social media and screens and tablets
and people living on their phones and devices and you know,
these replacing human interactions.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
I think that's a really good.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Reminder to continue making those quality connections right, quality.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Yes, exactly, that quality over corn.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
This clip is with Breezy, who of course stars an
All American and I couldn't love this conversation more. It's
a reminder that there is no love like self love
and the importance of being good to ourselves. And I
think the big headline for me is you can't fill
other people's cup if you aren't able to fill your
own cup first. So for anyone out there who needs
a little reminder about the importance of loving yourself, this
(11:46):
one's for you. And I wrap up every episode with
a question based off the title of the show, And
that question is, what is one thing you've never said before.
I know you've done a lot of interviews, you put
a lot out there. You have such a big heart,
so you do. You share a lot, But is there
something that you can think of that you haven't shared before.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
I would say that I never shared the truth that
I have never loved myself properly. I've never said that.
I've never even said it out loud. This is my
first time saying it. It's always it's a it's a
(12:29):
about a year old thought and just to continue on
with what you do to take care of yourself and
mental health and things like that. Like that's what led
me to that figuring that out, the journey of loving
(12:50):
myself better and not being so accessible to everything and everybody,
you know, kind of just going inside and shutting the
door sometimes and just really taking care of yourself and
then going out when you're ready, you know, Like that's
(13:11):
the journey. I'm one now, So no, I've never I've
never I never said it one two, never admitted that
you know, or even new or acknowledged it. It's all
it's all new to me right now. But it's a
it's a part of my life that I'm dealing with now,
but that I'm also happy to share and knowing that
(13:33):
it's one of those things that I'm sure there's somebody
watching going through the same thing.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
When was the moment where you realized that when you
when you thought, oh my god, I don't think I've
ever really loved myself?
Speaker 6 (13:50):
I would say last year around what am I thinking of?
Maybe April May of last year. I just I woke
up one morning and I just looked in the mirror
and I just hated everything. Hated what was around me,
(14:13):
hated what my personal life was, the relationship I was in.
I didn't like any of it. And I was like,
what are you doing? Why are you doing it? What
part of all of these things that I'm now seeing
in the mirror in this one moment, what about all
these things are good for you? And none of it was?
(14:38):
And I was like, wow, Like it was just it
was sad, It was hurtful, It was painful, It was
a painful thing to get through. I would say that today,
you know, way further past that just heavy feeling of
it all than I was last year, but still gradually
working at it every single day. But it was just
(15:01):
it was just the realization that nothing I was doing
was for my benefit or for my good or was
filling my cup. For lack of bad.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Words, M and did you feel that most of your
life but suppressed that until it just you couldn't suppress
that any longer a year ago, Yeah.
Speaker 6 (15:22):
I think that, you know. I just in that moment
I realized that my cup was empty. I just I
felt depleted in every way emotionally, mentally, physically. I was like,
what am I doing? What am I doing? And that
was a hard question I had to ask myself, and
(15:44):
the realization of everything around me that I mentioned it
was it was very hard to accept. But for some reason,
I was just like, I'm not doing any of it.
I don't have an explanation. I don't even know why.
I don't have nothing to talk about. I'm just not
doing it. And I have not looked back since that day.
(16:08):
So now I'm just like forward thinking, forward movement, only
if it's not And again I have my own stuff
that I'm still dealing with, but I'm not doing that anymore,
you know what I mean? And it absolutely has to
be beneficial to me, and I have to be able
to replenish myself and energize myself and make myself happy
(16:32):
and love myself, you know, at a certain level before
I expect somebody else to, you know. So that's what
I'm working on.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Now.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
That's amazing that you share that, because I think people
look at you and they say, she has success and
fame and hit show after hit show, and it's so
popular and has millions of social media followers. But you,
at the end of the day, weren't happy right in
that you let me.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Take something happy.
Speaker 6 (17:00):
What you just said was the hardest pill for me
to swallow because the perception of who I was or
who people think I am, even now you know what
I'm saying, had not matched my reality. So I also
felt like I can't even do that anymore. So if
I can't sit here and talk to you as a
(17:22):
friend and like be honest with you, then we actually
just can't have a conversation, you know what I mean.
So a lot of the oh my god, you're this,
and oh it's that, Oh my god, you did congratulate,
and I was like, I want to hear it, you know,
and it became like it just became uncomfortable you know, like, no, like,
(17:43):
how how do I go? How am I the person
that people look up to so much? People think I
got all the answers and I do all the things,
and I'm just the best of this and the best
of that. I'm like, I ain't shit, not like in
a crazy way, but I'm just like, you know, I'm
coming to all these realizations about myself and this is
(18:05):
the exact opposite of what people are thinking, you know,
about me. And I'm like, not that I don't possess
any of those things, but in totally in totality, I'm sorry, no,
you know, and the bad parts were outweighing the good,
and I'm like, I have to. I have to make
(18:26):
a change, you know. And I'm happy to share in
along my journey because I'm interested to see what part
of that helps people too, you know what I mean.
Because I'm like, I can't be the only one. Can't
be the only one, you know what I mean. So
(18:48):
I'm happy to and you know, it's a very vulnerable
time for me as well, but I'm okay, like I
feel like I have someone who absolutely loves and protects me,
you know, so so I feel safe, you know, And
being able to be comfortable in my vulnerability. And that's
(19:08):
so important too, like the people you have around you,
you know, especially if you're if you have a partner
in an intimate way of some sort, you know that
that's so important. And that's kind of where it starts,
because you go outside, but you have to come home
every day.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
You know.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
It's like the person you'll deal with the most. So
I've had the luxury of having a special person that
has helped me through all this, but it hasn't been
It hasn't been easy, you know, but I'm still like
standing strong in the pursuance of my own happiness.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
This was a powerful conversation. This is with Jared Padalaki,
who you know and you love, of course from Supernatural
and most recently Walker and I want to put out
a trigger warning. We do talk about mental health and
suicidal ideations. But this is such a beautiful and important
conversation because he shares a part of his mental health
journey for the first time, and he shares this in
(20:00):
hope of helping anyone out there struggling and to show
the importance of getting help. He cannot stress enough how
you need to get help if you feel like you
need it. So for anyone having ups and downs or struggling,
this is for you. Well, we have come to that
point of the show where I ask every single guest
who comes on, what is one thing that you have
(20:23):
never said before? So whatever you're comfortable with sharing. I
know you guys over the years have done so many
interviews and have talked about so many things, so it
might be challenging, but can you think of anything that
you have never said before?
Speaker 7 (20:38):
Never said before? Admittedly, that is, like you mentioned, difficult
to try and figure out having done interviews and conventions
and whatnot. I've been proudly open about my own relationship
with mental health and the Always Keep funding campaign has
been a great help for me and I think for
(20:59):
many of us that have expressed that it's helped them.
So I'll say this. It was twenty fifteen, at a
really low moment. I was open about going back and
going to therapy and going to a clinic. But I
was letting my brain, letting my thoughts kind of take
over and going to a place of like dramatic suicidal ideation.
(21:24):
And called my wife and she said get home, and
so got home, went to a clinic for a couple
of weeks and looked into it and haven't been suicidal since,
not for a moment that hadn't been said. There are
still highs and lows that we talked about earlier, like
you're not You're a human, I'm a human, She's a human.
(21:44):
Everybody who's listening to this presumably as a human going
to be a human. So there are highs and lows,
and I don't know about what I have never said,
but I will say this for now as I said
here today, today's a low. I'm fine, nothing to worry about,
(22:04):
but there's a lot of I have a lot of
sadness about UH Walker the family, and again my tears
aren't for myself, but I know I'll be fine because
I'm talking to you about it. I talked to Jen
about it, I talked to my friends about it. And
so just to please please be open, please share, Please
(22:24):
find somebody, whether it's a friend or professional, and UH
and speak and speak of truth. And just because you're low,
now you know meet with triumph and disaster and truth.
Those two imposters just the same. I know the other
shoe will drop, and I have friends, I love, a
new friend I love, uh and the family I love.
So I'm just excited to be out there, be open
(22:46):
and something you said earlier or Jen said earlier, will
see just those two words or one contraction and one word,
but we'll see, you know, something seems great, might not be.
We'll see something seems terrible. We'll see. Like keeping an
open mind and looking to tomorrow, looking to next week,
next month, next year has helped a lot. So just that,
(23:07):
just thinking about like, hey, we'll see.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Yeah, thank you for thank you for opening up about that.
And yeah, and Jim, before we get to you, Jared,
I think that it's so import more and more people
talk about that. And you brought up something specifically that
I do want to touch on a little further because
I don't think a lot of people would feel safe
or often enough to reveal that. And you mentioned a clinic,
(23:33):
and I presume that's a place you actually went for
a period of time to get some help. And I
don't know, I don't know if you've if you've talked
about that before or not, but I thank you for
that because I don't think people there's such a stigma
surrounding that. Still there's a huge stigma around mental health still.
I mean I've lost a friend to her mental health struggle,
which was a horrifying time in my life. And I
don't think people talk about that enough. But people certainly
(23:56):
don't talk enough about going to a place to actually
get the help. So thank you for sharing that and
for people listening who might feel like that's something they
could never bring themselves to do, even though they might
need to do that.
Speaker 7 (24:09):
What would you say, Well, first, I don't think everybody
needs it. I got to a place where I needed it.
I needed a full reset. I had spent you know,
fifteen years in this industry where I was. You know,
when you go to an audition or a red carpet,
they don't want like, Jared, how are you doing today? Oh? Man,
today was rough and like I didn't sleep. They want like,
(24:31):
oh it's great, like excited to be here, excited to
be you know. So I had done that for so long,
trying to focus. Like we talked earlier about like what's
best for the person who's talking to me as opposed
to like just being honest. And there's a time of
place I would say, it's it's I don't I don't
(24:51):
wear it as a scarlet letter, like it's not like
I'm shameful, Like, hey, I see a therapist. I've been
to a clinic. I like were proudly, like I put
it on my face and like tell everybody, like yeah, dude,
if you don't, if you're not in the situation where
you need that degree of help, then don't seek it.
But I needed a surgeon, not literally, but you know
what I mean, Like, yeah, I needed it, and here
(25:14):
I am and I've never been Like I said, today's
a hard day. It's been a hard month since we
found out. But I'm in a great place with my wife,
our children, my friends, my family, and so I'm certain
without Jen and without my time is spent really going
like okay, these feelings and thoughts are real feelings and thoughts,
(25:37):
but they're not reality, Like how do I put those
over there? And you're like, Okay, I'm feeling really excited,
that's going to change. I'm feeling really down, that's going
to change. I'm feeling really anxious. That's going to change.
So just learning to look seek help, open up even
if you don't think you need it, like even if
you're doing it, like hey, you're fit you're healthy, why
(25:59):
not talk to an Trishnans? Why not get a personal
trainer to show you how to properly do your squads?
Like why not, like we spend all this time? You know,
we have financial planners. If you're fortunate not to have
a job, you have prosfit trainers or Orange theory or
whatever showing you how to properly do a row, Like
why not look into your brain? Like you live in
(26:19):
your brain? You know, we don't have a brain. We
are a brain and our body just follows. So why not,
Like it seems so silly to not want to look
into it, but not silly. I don't want to want
to make it sound flippant. But if you have the opportunity,
there are a lot of resources out there, so please, please,
(26:40):
please please look into it. And it's great.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
It feels great, So for all my parents out there.
Jennifer Loview it opens up about her fears as a mom.
I think many moms and dads will find this useful.
You may not have all the answers, but you will
always figure it out, even Jennifer of you, it feels
that way right. There's no guide book to parenting, and
I'm not a parent, but I have many friends who
are and you do the best you can. And I
(27:04):
think this reminder from Jennifer is a really good example
that everybody has some fears and levels of anxiety as
they are raising their kids, but at the end of
the day, you're going to figure it out.
Speaker 8 (27:16):
Oh boy, here we go.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
The name of the show. Oh you know what's coming.
It's called I've never said this before. And the show
was born.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Because I cover a lot of red carpets and junkets,
and you get like three minutes maybe six minutes if
you're lucky, at a junket to talk to people. And
I just saw this longing in people's eyes, wanting to
talk about things a bit more substantial, right, and are
a bit more real life, which we've done a lot
today already. But I'm wondering, is there anything that comes
to mind for you that you've never said before that
(27:47):
you wanted to say or share today, whatever that means
to you.
Speaker 9 (27:52):
Yeah, I think it does sort of fit with what
we have been talking about a little bit.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
I do.
Speaker 9 (27:58):
I think I've never set out loud before to anyone,
maybe other than my husband, that I have a real
fear as a mom about the kind of.
Speaker 8 (28:09):
Mom I'm going to be when my kids are teenagers.
Speaker 9 (28:12):
And it kind of goes back into what we're talking
about before in that I just don't have like I
never went to high school, like walk down to high school.
Speaker 10 (28:21):
I mean, I did the school work of high school and.
Speaker 8 (28:23):
I graduated and I but I did it on a set.
Speaker 9 (28:26):
I never went to a high school party other than
can't hardly wait. I haven't had those experiences. And right
now I feel like I really thrive as a mom
because the kid in me can throw a magical party
and it can you know, make a magical movie theater
moment or you know, whatever it is.
Speaker 8 (28:45):
And like the kid in me is thriving as a mom.
But when it comes to being a teenager.
Speaker 9 (28:51):
Or a grown up, you know, kind of going into
your grown up place as a I really worry, like
it panics me a lot that I'm not that I'm
going to fail somehow because I don't have those life experiences.
And thankfully my husband does and he he was he
lived a very normal teenage life. But I don't want
(29:14):
to fail them that way, Like I really want to
thrive and be there for them and do that and
not like weirdly want to show up at the prom
because I never about to go to one. Like I
could just see myself like also coming down the stairs
and she's all that moment and Autumn being like, not now,
this is not your time, you know, Like I just
(29:34):
want to. I just want to be there for them,
and I want to I want to know all the things,
but I don't have those life experiences, and it gives
me a lot of anxiety.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
So how do you calm that? Or can you not?
Speaker 8 (29:48):
I can't. I mean I think I just have to
do my best. Yeah, Like I think I'm just gonna
have to do my best.
Speaker 9 (29:55):
And and I think maybe I said it to Autumn
the other day because she's eleven now, and you know,
we a kind of talking about it.
Speaker 8 (30:00):
And she was like, what was it like when you
were eleven? And I was like, oh boy, here we go.
Speaker 9 (30:04):
I was at auditions, like I have no I have
no reference for her that's going to be helpful.
Speaker 8 (30:09):
But I told her how I felt inside.
Speaker 9 (30:11):
And so I feel like maybe I'm just gonna have
to go with my gut and maybe I'm just going
to learn a lot, Like I feel like I'm I
feel like, maybe there's a part of me that's going
to go and experience it, maybe for the first time,
and I'm going to have to be okay with that,
and maybe there will be something beautiful that comes out
of it.
Speaker 8 (30:30):
But it makes me very afraid.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Well, after reading your book and after talking to you
for almost an hour, it's clear you know what you're doing,
and your family is very lucky to have you, and
I think you know it's it's normal to feel all
those things. But yeah, something tells me you're going to
be just fine. Just don't show up in the prom
ball gown.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
Please can't wait?
Speaker 8 (30:53):
Okay, all right, I won't.
Speaker 9 (30:55):
Maybe for my fiftieth I'll throw myself a prom How
about that?
Speaker 8 (30:57):
Oh that would be so cute, Right you want to
call me?
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Yes, I am a great you.
Speaker 8 (31:04):
Can come it from.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
I had such a great conversation with Justin Hartley, and
this clip you are about to hear is one of
my favorite things of the whole year, I think because
it's such an important lesson that sometimes you need a
reminder of. I need a reminder of, and it's that
you're the company you keep right. You want to surround
yourself with those who lift and inspire and motivate you.
(31:32):
And that's something that sometimes, with the craziness of life,
we can forget. But I think it's a great reminder
from justin take a listen. What is something you've learned
about yourself through all of these years as a working actor?
I mean, you're going from job to job and you're
hustling and it's a very unconventional business. Is there something
that you've really learned that has helped you kind of
(31:54):
in this in this career, choice, in this path, in
your personal life that you can share with people today
that might help them.
Speaker 11 (32:02):
Find the right partner. Find the right partner, find someone
who finds someone who someone who will walk to the
end of the earth with you, who trusts you. Surround
yourself with with the best of the best. Uh, And
don't worry so much about pleasing everyone, because I think
(32:25):
the I think the people that that get you, that
get your heart, didn't know who you are, the really
understand you your kindness.
Speaker 4 (32:33):
I don't.
Speaker 11 (32:34):
I don't think any of that factors into it.
Speaker 8 (32:36):
I don't.
Speaker 11 (32:36):
I don't think making sure that you're pleasing other people
really has anything to do with that. I think it's
being present in the moment. It's an easy thing to say,
a very very hard thing to do, but yeah, find
the right partner and that could be that could be
in a in a in a spouse, that could be
in a sister, that could be in a mother, that
could be in anybody your team. Just just pour into
your team. Find the right people. Surround yourself with people
(32:58):
that are like minded, that that appreciate themselves and that
appreciate your help, and that you can ask advice from,
that you can trust, and when you have that, you
have and your health.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
The rest is cake.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Really Yeah, Okay. You know and love Lana Paria from
Once Upon a Time, a fan favorite show, and in
this clip she opens up about her anxiety and how
she calms down her mind and a big, big thing
for me that I got out of this is the
importance of putting down devices and how much that can
actually trigger stress and anxiety. Even more so, I love
(33:37):
that she opens up a bit about her mental health
and what she does to really unwind and maintain her anxiety,
because it's not something that ever fully goes away, but
according to her and many people, you can definitely control it.
And I think that's such a good lesson as we
go into the new year. Right, it's not beating ourselves
up for having anxiety, it's just learning how to manage
and deal with it. With everything going on with such
(33:59):
a busy career, with this work ethic that you can't
seem to turn off, how do you take time for you? Like,
is it hard for you to unwind and just be
still and be present?
Speaker 8 (34:11):
Yes? And I don't think it's only my fault.
Speaker 10 (34:15):
I think it's the fault of these devices, because I
yesterday I like to go on these walks. I do
these like walking meditations, and they are quiet. It's just
me and nature with my dog and listening to the
sounds around me. And sometimes you want to like put
(34:39):
on that audible right, or you're like, oh, let me
make that phone call. But I have to force myself
to just turn off. I put my phone on do
not disturb, and I just walk and I let sort.
Speaker 8 (34:51):
Of the gods that be to speak to me.
Speaker 10 (34:55):
And that's how I work through whatever I'm struggling with
At the moment. I think about, okay, where I am.
You know how we love working on ourselves and how
could we improve?
Speaker 8 (35:07):
Why do I do that? What could I do.
Speaker 10 (35:10):
Instead, I think about my career, and I think about,
oh my god, is that it? Like this strike really
screwed everybody up, and now everyone's out of work and
we're all trying to figure it out. And how do I,
you know, stay positive? How do I continue to manifest
the things that I want? Like that's I guess that's
(35:33):
how I spend my time, which isn't really like completely
turning off, but it is. It's very relaxing for me,
and it's time with myself, and I think that's critical.
I think anytime you can turn off the device and
just step outside and be in nature, it's like a
little mini vacation. So I try to take those like
(35:55):
three times a week.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
And we have to remind ourselves to do that. Like
I'm here in New York City and I found myself
walking from point A to point B looking at my phone,
and I'm like, I'm in the greatest city in the world.
Why am I not looking up and around and taking
in the sun And oh, there's Central Park And I
don't need to answer this text. I don't need to
be scrolling Instagram as I'm walking the streets of New York.
(36:17):
Like enough you know, it's a reminder that we have
to keep telling ourselves, like put it away, It's okay,
you know.
Speaker 10 (36:25):
It is, and it's very you know. I know I'm
older than you, but I know I'm one of the last.
Our generation knows a world without these devices. And I
started thinking, like, I have a lot of fans who
asked me questions about like what do you do when
you're struggling with anxiety?
Speaker 8 (36:45):
You know, I don't know what I want to do
with my life.
Speaker 10 (36:48):
Even a relative yesterday called me and said, I just
feel like I'm not listening, I'm not as focused, I
can't retain information. And they're twenty one years old, you know.
And I said, I don't envy kids today. I think
it's really hard for them. The pressures, I mean the
pressures that we have of like did you get my text?
Did you get my email? I'm like, wait, when'd you
(37:10):
said it? Like twenty minutes ago? You're like, what, I
was in a shower.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
You know.
Speaker 8 (37:16):
It's just there's so much more pressure. So I feel that, especially.
Speaker 10 (37:22):
As an adult, and when our world started shifting from
like home voice mail machines to you know, cell phones
and and you know scripts now that we have to
print out or read online, and you know, it's just
not I feel like I'm sounding like one of those
(37:42):
old people that really just was like it was better when,
but it was I think psychologically and just health wise,
like it was better, you know, only because we didn't.
We trusted more. We trusted people more, you know, we
weren't spying and like trying to find out things on
their phone or you know, if someone didn't call you
(38:05):
right away, you didn't think that they were in a
car accident. You just thought they're like, oh whatever. You know,
you left a message on their machine and sometimes they
get back to you two days later, and you didn't
worry that something was wrong, you know. And I do
miss that time. I miss the freedom of the mind
that can go in so many different places because you're
(38:28):
not bogged down by this device.
Speaker 8 (38:31):
And that's that's like it actually brings tears to my eyes.
Speaker 10 (38:37):
It truly does, because it I guess it's also why
I did that movie, because it felt like, oh my god,
you guys, what are we doing?
Speaker 8 (38:46):
What are we doing to ourselves?
Speaker 10 (38:49):
Like I know, metas whatever, and probably gonna get banned
for saying all this, but like.
Speaker 8 (38:54):
I just I just think this world is so beautiful.
Step outside, look at the trees. Hut, what a freaking tree.
Speaker 10 (39:01):
I hug the trees in the neighborhood all the time.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
These people just see you. People just see you hugging
trees around town.
Speaker 10 (39:07):
There are these oak trees that are like so three
hundred years old, and they're so beautiful, you know, and
I just like I feel the energy coming from them.
Speaker 8 (39:17):
What's the energy that we need to connect to?
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Truly, I've Never Said This Before is hosted by Me
Tommy Dedario. This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi
at iHeartRadio and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney.
I've Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis
Duran podcast network on iHeart Podcasts. For more rate review
(39:43):
and subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode,
tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy de Dario.
Speaker 11 (40:00):
Yeah.
Host
Tommy DiDario
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