It's not easy to talk about sexual assault. It's a charged topic that rightfully carries so much weight, so much history, and so much emotion. But as Jill, Laiya, and Aja mention in this episode, it's likely that you know or are a woman who has been sexually assaulted. We have to have an honest conversation about how we talk about sexual assault and treat sexual assault survivors.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

RAIN...

When it comes to U.S. politics, 2020 has shown us how messy, racist, ignorant, and apathetic our leadership can get. Four years of a Trump administration was more than the people of the U.S. ever asked for (quite literally, considering 2016's popular vote outcome). But now that a Democratic presidency is on the horizon, how do we move forward? How do we avoid getting complacent and stay on these politicians' necks? Jill, La...

Holidays can be joyful times of celebration and fellowship. But sometimes we end up participating in holidays that we have no practical or spiritual connection to. And in the U.S., some holidays have been commercialized and divorced from their historical roots. Laiya, Aja, and Jill shout out some Black holidays (like Juneteenth) as well as some of the traditions they've created and observe in their own homes.

Resource mentioned ...

There is merit in working hard and being productive on your own terms. But grind culture takes productivity to a whole other level. The no-sleep, hustle hard mentality has people saying yes to every opportunity, turning down every leisure activity, overbooking, and taking little if any time for self-care. Jill, Laiya, and Aja work hard, but they also affirm the power and importance of rest. In this episode, they get real about what...

Figuring out how to discipline children is not an easy task. What did our parents do? What does the research say? How do our personal morals shape our chosen methods of punishment? What does the child need? How do we raise children so that they grow up healthy and safe? What's "right" and "wrong" when it comes to disciplining children is not so black-and-white. Aja, Laiya, and Jill talk about the spankings they&...

Being "the other woman" comes with a whole host of stigmas and assumptions. Having a relationship with a married person can be toxic, and like Jill says in this episode, "You cannot win by causing someone else harm." Relationships built on infidelity and dishonesty will deal damage in one way or another. But the desire to cheat or to be a mistress can come from a deeper place than surface-level selfishness or cruelt...

Jill, Laiya, and Aja have all been the subject of rumors -- some based in truth, some comically false, and some wildly insulting. It's human nature to speculate and gossip, but sometimes we go too far. According to rumors, Jill had a baby with D'Angelo; Kindred the Family Soul performed at a wedding in the early '90s; and Laiya has a big mouth. (OK, Laiya says that one may have been true at one point.) Some rumors are f...

We need all the Black stories. The mundane ones. The extravagant ones. The heartbreaking ones. Black life is expansive, and the more we get to see ourselves on screen in new ways, the better. Uplifting the real, raw humanity of Black people on film and television is so important. Jill, Laiya, and Aja talk about the value of slavery narratives, the stories that they want to see produced, and how grateful they are for how far Black s...

"Compassion, empathy, respect, trust." That's a word from Aja on the qualities that are important in relationships with Black men, whether they are platonic or romantic ones. But we all know that building solid, healthy relationships takes time and looks different for everybody. There's a delicate balance between Black women loving and caring for themselves, and loving and caring for Black men. Jill, Laiya, and Aja ...

That Louisiana drawl. The way "you straight?" can mean a dozen different things depending on the tone and situation. The Black mama classic: adding the word "the" in front of everything. And even the Head Nod. Black language is full of beauty and music. Laiya, Aja, and Jill celebrate Black speech and all its nuance, variation, and ingenuity. 

Resources:

Twitter thread about Black units of measurement

Facebook post by A...

What's wrong with 'em? It's a simple question that's hard to answer. Jill, Laiya, and Aja try to get to the bottom of some of the questionable things people do, like being unable to have conversations with nuance or wear a mask properly. On the subject of white people with locs: Jill presents pros, and Aja comes back with some strong cons. Of course, these are all observations, not judgments. The question is also: W...

The relationships children have with their mothers are so diverse and dynamic. But many of us expect our mothers to be our provider, our teacher, our savior, and our source of comfort. When we are naive, growing children, it's hard to recognize our mothers as whole human beings who have lives beyond those roles. But as we get older and gain more distance and perspective, we realize that our mothers were trying to navigate this ...

The media often portrays the relationships between Black women as adversarial and difficult. If you believe the stereotypes and the propaganda, you might think that Black women don't like each other and don't get along. Of course, that's fallacy and harmful generalization – some Black women are incompatible, just like some people of any other race or gender may be incompatible.

If you actually know Black women, you know ...

The past year of isolation and social distancing has changed the way we relate to solitude. The absence of touch, separation from loved ones, and lack of fellowship and intimacy have presented many challenges. We can be lonely when we're alone, but we can also be lonely when we're surrounded by people or in intimate relationships. On the other hand, we can crave more alone time. Aja, Jill, and Laiya consider the role that l...

"Black does not crack, but it sure does crease."

Laiya, Aja, and Jill reminisce about the shows they grew up on and the wellness practices their parents and grandparents followed. They also reveal some of more embarrassing signs of aging, the lifestyle choices they've made to stay healthy as they get older, and the things they've learned from the millennials. On What’s On Your Heart, media coach, activist, and music ...