June 7, 2023 • 60 mins
In this episode, Jill, Aja, and Laiya catch each other up on their adventures during the break. Call 866-HEY-JILL and leave us a message with your comments on this episode!
For tickets to Jill’s concert: https://www.missjillscott.com/
How to Plan Pilgrimage: https://www.asacredjourney.net/planning-pilgrimage/
Menopause 101: https://www.menopause.org/for-women/menopauseflashes/menopause-symptoms-and-treatments/menopause-101-a-primer-for-the-perimenopausal
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Yeah, welcome to J dot L, a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
What's Up? Hi? Hi, Hi, everybody, Welcome to J dot
L the Podcast. I'm sitting here with my wonderful sister
friends Laiah Saint Clair what that was?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
And Aga Graydon Danceler.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hello. Yeah, it's been it's been a little moment. Lots
has occurred in our in our lives. Some of it
is wild and amazing, and some of it is simple
and poignant, and some of it just we slept, you know,
(00:50):
I know, I took a deep, deep nap on them
on multiple kass Jill Scott by the way, because I
didn't introduce myself, but yeah, I definitely didn't. Okay, Yes,
good good things, Yeah, good good good life, living stuff,
just living. One thing that I discovered during this time
(01:11):
is that I have I have an achilles spur. Oh shit,
Oh yeah, you got spurs like the President. I got spurs.
I just showed my age.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
I did.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
What that mean though? What that mean?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
It means that I got some weird bone that is
kind of sticking out and just agitating my my achilles.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Wo.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
So eventually I'm probably gonna have to get that shaved
or something like that.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Like, I don't know, does that affect your ability where
like high heels and stuff?
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Yes, absolutely, without question?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Yo, can you talk about because let's just keep it
funky and absolutely real that we've all been on on
who is Joe Scott tour break and it's just interesting
seeing your new tour regalia versus your old and talking
about shoes because Asian and I were fortunate enough to
catch you, you know, in the in the in your
tour process, and I got a little jealous. I was like, Jill,
what the hell? What change? No?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
No, no, And then that another part of that is
like you guys know I have anxiety, right, I understand
it's just a lot of people. It's a lot of people,
and I'm in front of a lot of people. You know,
it's been a while too, right, it's been three years?
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Oh yes, right, yes.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
You know. I'll shaken in my boots quite a bit,
like can I do this? Do I do I remember?
Will I will I be able to emote? Will I
will I be able to change? You know?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Will I be able to like?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I don't know, Like it's been a long time and
I've really been living another life, you know, outside.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Getting the reviews, and the reviews say that Jill is.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Fucking That's how I feel.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yeah, but I feel like a good rest changes the game.
A good rest, you're nervous about not being able to
re enter, But the rest and the step back is
what makes you probably that much better. Like you're saying, yeah,
you come back with a fresh energy, and you know,
(03:27):
like you haven't used the voice in that same way
in a long time. So the voice has rested. The
body has rested too. The body has rested. I think
I'm not surprised that it's been off the chain. I
wore sneakers on stage for the first time in a
long long time recently too.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
And I'm gonna tell you something.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
It's you ain't never going back. But you ain't never
going back.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I bet you you got something. Here's one. You're saying better.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
Because you're comfortable.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
That's fair enough, because you're comfortable. And you ever heard
you'd you have her? The saying flat foot singing, well.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Patty LaBelle, y'all just made me think about Patty Like
she kicks off the shoes.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
That's when she kicks off the shoes.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
That flat foot singing, it's different.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I mean, I ain't gonna lie. I wear birkenstocks, I
wear wear whatever. I feel like.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I would take this moment to honor, honor the elder
that is Lisa Fisher.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
We we wanted to her because she always.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
No, Because I'm gonna tell you something. A while ago
she decided, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this
with y'all anymore. I'm not giving y'all full on glamoor, makeup,
hair heels. You all are gonna get this singing on today, and.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
That's what you're gonna get.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
And once she gave us the singing, she said, no,
you're gonna come for the singing, okay.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
But she she was. She was in Glam War, she
was in Glam Military. I mean she started out.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
With, yes, she comes from that era.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
You pulled it together, honey, Yes that's Jill.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
You said ship, you sprayed it, you sacked it, and
then you gave them voice. Okay, she said, no, we're
stripping this down.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
So wait, is Jill Scott not cinching anymore? Are you
like you saying you for the shoes the sench. This
is Jill Scott. I'm gonna tell you the whole truth
everything I do, everything, that I do supports me on stage. Okay,
Like I definitely I wears a cinch, but it's it's
(05:50):
also across my back so that I feel safe. Yeah,
Like it's a whole thing. I read, Oh wow, strengthening
aligned exactly all the things.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Yes, yes, indeed.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah. But I also realized that since I've been on
this road for these last couple of months, I'm like, girl,
it's it's it's some exercising to be done. It's a
muscle builds un to be done because it's been three years,
and it's a I'm different you know what I mean.
It's a different muscle, it's a different energy. But how
(06:29):
I am now is strange to me because after I
get off stage, I am beaming for about three four hours.
I don't go to bed. I can't go to bed.
I'm still walking, you know, I'm still like talking, I'm
still like moving, I'm still you know. So typically now
(06:51):
I'm like, when I get back to the hotel, I'll
just pack all my stuff up, you know, like to
prepare for the next day so that I can sleep.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
A little longer.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Bea we got to go to the next you know, Like, yes,
but I got it.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I'm like, because I mean, I don't know singing it
does it? It's the payoff for all the other bs.
You go through all the other bs to feel that
spiritual and that physical connection and you go out there
and it's just like amazing. There's nothing on the planet
(07:30):
like that. And then mind you you're singing your songs.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
You're singing your songs.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
That you wrote from your heart and your experience and
your living that. Yeah, and your your your and your creativity,
and you're living that in that moment, you're reconnecting with
your own you know, ability to create.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, all of that is that's the point, right.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
That that talking about it like I feel it.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
It's if I had any questions whether I still loved
it or that, you know, if it was for me
or not. I got my answer.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I got my answer.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Oh good, because yeah, because you know, I was quitting
many many, many times.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
We hope, so we want you to enjoy it while
you're doing it. Yeah, So can I ask my fan
perspective because 'all know I like to I like to
look at y'all and my fan perspective sometimes.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
So this is interesting.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
But my performance thing right because I Jill said she
hasn't performed in three years, right, But I know that agent.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
She has been doing like a few spot days out
throughout the COVID and whatnot. Whatever.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
But you just had your first big trip international trip.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Right in the COVID. Am I right?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
How's that right?
Speaker 5 (08:40):
This is your first big international work trip work trip.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Oh no, I wasn't working. I wasn't working, you know,
you know I worked. The only year that I didn't
work was twenty twenty.
Speaker 5 (08:51):
Wait wait wait the only work.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
I was only the only year is I just want
to say this.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
The only time that I did not work was twenty twenty,
twenty twenty one, I went back to work.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I worked a lot, That's what I'm saying. That's what
I say.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
And then twenty.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Twenty two was the year that we worked the most.
So we worked every month like we' this.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
Is That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
So this is this was my first job.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Yeah, this was my first time overseas in over in
over three years. But I did not go to work.
I actually don't go back to Europe to work for
another I think like six months.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
I forgot you didn't work when you went.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
More real talk after the break.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Wait a minute, So why were you in Europe?
Speaker 3 (09:47):
I wasn't in Europe. No, I wasn't. I went to Okay,
all right, yeah, y'all, y'all pulls together a segway.
Speaker 5 (10:02):
God, we're doing this for a while.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
I know.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
I was like, this is so professional. Where'd I go?
Speaker 4 (10:09):
So?
Speaker 5 (10:09):
I did not go up.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I went to to Saudia, Arabia zalig.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Yes. I went to Saudi for seven days.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
It was not for work. It was a spiritual pilgrimage.
But it's the minor pilgrimage. So I know many of
you all who if you're familiar with Malcolm X, right,
then Malcolm goes and makes Hodge and that's when he
becomes el Hadje Malik Shabbaz, right, And for the most
kind of general black, general black audience, that's what they
(10:40):
know of Hodge. So Hodge is the major kind of
once in a lifetime pilgrimage that Muslims make. Then there's
like a minor, a minor pilgrimage called Umra. Umra is
something that you can make at any time, really and
you can do it as many times as you want to.
And umra can you know you can do that in
any time during the year. So this year, the backstory
(11:03):
is that my mother in law, who is in her
I won't.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Even say what her age is. She's nailser. It'd alling.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
We don't put the age out there that was sold.
We don't do that anymore. So she has been Muslim
for fifty plus years. She was going to make Umra.
My brother in law was going to escort her as well.
She and her best friend best girlfriend were going to go,
and that was their plan. Well, as the planning was
going forward, her children one by one decided they were
(11:35):
going to also go. But she didn't know this. So
we had already planned that we were going to do
a sendoff dinner for her the night before she left
to go to Saudi. But what she didn't know was
that the night that we had her send away that
we were going to reveal that all but two of
her children would also be making this pilgrimage with her.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
So it was all but two of her children and
their mates.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5 (11:59):
Yeah, I had a party.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
We had a party plane dowelling yes, and then so
two other family friends also came. So there were eleven
of us in total. And what we ended up calling
ourselves was the Umra eleven darling. We had a fabulous
and beautiful trip. Yeah, And so it was just as
(12:24):
much a reconnection at a family level, at a community level,
as it was also a kind of a spiritual reconnection
and also to like going into a different country and
experiencing what their day to day is like. And also too,
if you're black and you're Muslim in America, you are
(12:45):
always going to kind of feel a sense of isolation.
You'll feel a sense of isolation in Islamic spaces, You'll
feel a sense of isolation in non Islamic spaces and
white spaces and blacks, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
All of that, so you'll experience some of that.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
One of the things that was interesting was to go
into an Islamic country and the things that are things
you have to seek out in America that are just part.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Of the norm.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Like like when you're traveling and you check it to
a hotel, there's a mosque in the hotel. You can
go pray so you can play the hotel. You don't
have to pray.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
In your room.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
You don't have to find a mosque, you don't have
to there's one right there when it's time for a
call to prayer. The call to prayer happens publicly, you
don't have to have it on your phone. That's when
I realized that I was American. Like my prayer reminder
would go off on my phone and.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Everybody would look around, like, well, what do you even
need that for, ma'am? You don't need it all the food?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Wait, wait, wait, because it goes off. Let's get back
to We'll get to the meat, I promise and the
food because I already.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Know, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, just I haven't been in Saudi Arabia, but being
in Istanbul all right, the five times a day, it
was the most beautiful full body prayer experience that everybody
was having collect.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
The same time.
Speaker 5 (14:13):
Oh, because they stop. Everybody stops.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Yeah, people pray on the street.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
It's not it's not even a thing. It's not a thing.
So for us it's looking at it feels extraordinary, but
it is the mundane for them, you know. And so yeah,
that the call to prayer is a really beautiful thing
that was done first by Blao, who wasn't a man
(14:40):
of African descent, and the first call to prayer was
done by that brother. The first in history was done
by a man of African descent, and the idea that
the melodic way and the recitation of it sounds like singing,
it just does.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
It is. It is a.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Very beautiful connection with God that is undeniable. When you
hear the Avan being called, I don't care what faith
you practice, you cannot deny the beauty of this thing.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
You can't.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
It is an undeniable It is an undeniable beauty. And
what it means in English is a universal call to
praise God. So even if you are not of the faith,
listening to it and even repeating it for yourself is.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Absolutely culture for all.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
So at the end of the day, it's something that
you can that everyone can at a human you know,
place connect with if you do believe in God.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
So there's that right, so you know, anyway.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
But that was one of the one of the wonderful
things was that, like I said, many of the things
that were mundane in Saudi were things that you know,
you have to kind of seek out. All the food
is allowed. And so here's another little interesting tidbit. We
went the week of the first week of Rhyme. So
when we got there, several days after we arrived was
the first was the first day of Ramadan. Ramadan, for
(16:05):
those of you who don't know, it's thirty day fast
from sun up to sundown that Muslims do every year
according to the lunar calendar. So it's not the same
time every year like Christmas or Easter or something like that.
It happens, you know, it moves around, right, because it's
according to the lunar calendar. But it is thirty days
and we do fast thirty from sun up to sundown.
(16:26):
So one of the wonderful things about being in Saudi
Arabia doing Ramadan is that everything's open at night, at night, children, people,
everybody's awake because at the end of the day you
got to eat after sundown, and so people like to
run their errands. You can go shopping at night till
two three o'clock in the morning. You can go to Starbucks,
you can do all. Everything's open. It's like turned up,
(16:49):
you know what I mean, in the most like you know,
religious conservative way you can be, but it is turned out.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
Did you feel like did you feel like early morning, right, yeah,
early morning.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Did you feel like there was a homing there was
a homey ness. You understand what I'm saying, there's a
there's a homey ness. I know that there are a
lot of Muslims, black, white whoever, who do feel very
much like when they're in Saudi, like, this is the
life that I want to live because this is conducive
to my belief, because my belief dictates my lifestyle. So
for them, it's like to have and live in a
(17:21):
space that also is dictated and lifestyle is dictated by that.
It's like a breath of fresh air, a release of
the pressure of like western you know, Western ways kind
of thing. And I definitely felt that release. I felt
that release of this kind of Western way of doing
things that makes you feel like you gotta be doing
(17:42):
this kind of thing all the time we got on
the train, and before the train went on its journey,
over the loudspeaker, after they gave us our information about.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
What time it was and when we was going.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
To arrive, they played a travel doua, which is a prayer,
and it felt like that felt homie to me because
you know how black people are, like, Oh, we about
to go somewhere, let's pray all right, Lord give us
traveling mercies and blah dah dah dah. You know what
I'm saying, A very it harkens to a very black,
you know, Christian centric, but black way of doing things,
(18:16):
you know what I'm saying that we grew up on.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I think it's very interesting that it's called doah.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Yeah, I mean, it's very interesting.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
There's so many beautiful words, so many beautiful meanings to
things you had.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
No American moments.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Agent from my favorite American moment was this, The whole
country is is quiet.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Everywhere is quiet.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
And listen, there are degrees of there are degrees of quiet.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Right.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
So when we flew and we flew into Qatar, which
is a different country but still it's like right on
the little edge of on the east coast edge of
Saudi Arabia, right, So it's very you know, big city ish,
very metropolitan, you know what I'm saying. So even though
it was kind of mellow in Qatar, it wasn't quiet.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
So we moved from Qatar to Jetta.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Jedda is on the west coast of Saudi Arabia, in
between Medina and Mecca, two of the Holy cities.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Right, So you get to Jetta and Jedda is a
little quieter right. Then the next day we went to Medina,
and Medina was pin drop, baby, pin drop, you feel.
Speaker 5 (19:26):
Work for this group of large black people.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
They everywhere we were. If it wasn't bad enough that
we was black and American child, we was loud and
adjusting to it was interesting because at first we weren't
even cognizant of our volume because we're just being normal
right right.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
And I was talking to so.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
There was a brother there that was with us, a
family friend who's an email and at one point he
noticed it and was.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Like, oh, y'all, people are literally staring at us.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
I know they are, and looking at y'all life with
the nasty looks.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Like yeah, I mean, and let me just tell you
we got equal parts nasty and equal parts kind.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Loving, welcoming.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
It was just like any place really, to be honest,
like if just as much rude ship in Paris.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
You know what I'm saying. I heard, so my thing
is so.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Anyway, So suggesting ourselves was really interesting. And at first
I'm talking to him, I'm like, so are we adjusting
ourselves culturally? Because or are I said, See, I have
to always check things like is this anti black because
my joy is okay. We do because because I'm like
my joy and the way I express myself is okay,
(20:40):
everywhere I go, I'm I'm okay. So I needed to
I had to be clear on what I was doing.
Am I silencing myself in this moment? Or am I
being respectful?
Speaker 5 (20:52):
Right?
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Because being respectful is important too, because you just can't
be whatever you want to be everywhere, and that's just
the truth. Sometimes you do have to do. You have
to be respectful of other people. Sometimes you have to
eat in the Calabash, babee. Sometimes you gotta eat. So
that's the thing. So for me, I'm like, all right, cool,
(21:12):
but I had to check that. I was like, let me,
let me, let me have a conversation with myself. What
am I doing here?
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Right?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
And eventually the quiet really didn't fight me. Eventually the
quiet just became the norm. It was like, eventually, it
wasn't a thing where it was just like, oh, let
me not look like I'm loud and black. It just
felt like it's quiet here, so let me experience the quiet.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
I love this so so so much, age, I love
this so so so much because.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
Listen, y'all, why you think we so loud.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Years and years are not being heard, years and years
of being ignored, years and years of doing things and
being things and having them stolen. Why you think we
so loud? Huh.
Speaker 5 (22:05):
I can't take your truth right now.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
I can't take all this truth right now, Joe Scott, listen,
I can't take all this listen.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Thank you for explaining me.
Speaker 5 (22:12):
Thank you for explaining me.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
If you feel silenced in general, Probably there is a
tendency to when you're happy, to be very happy, right,
But I also want to be careful not to look
at our joy through the lens of that.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Either there is just.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
A nasal quiet joy too.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Maybe there is just a natural inclination to joyous behavior
that we just have.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Who knows.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
I thought we created the word hey, come on, but.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
Here's the vibes, here's the vibes. All of it is true.
I think I think it's all true.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
And you know, I love to hold a multiply appreciate
we are not.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
We're not. That's what I love, y'all.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Motherfucking women. That's why.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
That's because we have you knowed you've been saying it's
black women. For me lately, I've been saying that a lot.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Listen and sisters, that's what I'm saying, is always that.
That's why I won't.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
And let me say this not this is not even
like a a This is not a slight to any anybody.
You have when you have a shared no, no what I'm saying,
but when you when you have a shared religious belief
for spiritual belief that's all over the world. See, that's
one thing that's really kind of beautiful. You go there
and you see people from all over. But there was
(23:47):
a difference in the way sisters who were brown treated me,
talk to me, touched me. Then there was a difference.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
There was a different kind of kindness, openness and receiving.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
There just was. And we connect like that all over
the world. This is what I understand about it now, right,
A sister from Somalia talked to me, a sister from here,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
It was like a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
But I did and that was kind of a very
very much like a built in softness that was there.
You know, that was a built in And I don't
say that to say I didn't have kind moments with
other women and other women who were American and or
English speaking who weren't black. Because that happened. Also, English
speaking people definitely sought me out. So I had a
(24:51):
great moment with a sister from the UK, a white
sister from the UK. I had a great moment with
a sister from Detroit who prayed next to me the
Prophet's Mosque in Medina. And I had a great moment
where another sister was from Canada whose parents are from Somalia,
but she grew up in Canada.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
So I had a bunch of different moments like that, we're.
Speaker 7 (25:16):
Gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
I love that you were able to experience being first
everybody was, you know, of same faith, not similar, same same.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
That's to experience.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
That because you're obviously here in the United States. You know,
you've got your Christians, and then you got your Christians,
and they got your Christians, and then got your Christians,
and then you got your It's a lot.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Well, to be fair, to be fair, to be fair,
there's variation in the Islamic world. So there's there's very Yeah,
there's variation in all of it, right, the would be.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Right.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
There's variation in the way people do things their culture
very much. So if you go into if you go
into Mecca, right, and that was the only time you
ever spend time around Muslims, you would think all Muslim women.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Wear black, Okay, But but.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
If you went to a Sambol, right, then you would
see that Muslim women wear all kinds of colors.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Right.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
So depending on where you are, yes, there are differences
in variations, but there but there's a basic there's a
basic belief that is that it is the same across
the board. And let me just tell you guys, this
is the singular most powerful moment of my life. Okay,
this was the singular most powerful moment of my life
as it pertains to believe in connection with God.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Right, so we went to Mecca.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
Right.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
The mosque in Mecca is called Masja.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Haram, right, and it holds at capacity two point five
million people. Who I said that five massjed Haram massed
Haram is. You've probably seen it in photographs. In the
center of Mashya Haram is the kaba. The kaba is
a black building covered it's covered in a black draping
(27:32):
and it's a little black square. And you've seen this.
You probably see if you've ever seen pictures of what
people might say is hodge or what you see people
circle it, right, So Muslims pray in the direction of
the Kaba. So everywhere you go in the world, when
a Muslim praise, they will find the direction towards the Kaba.
The Kaba is located in this mostuat, so everybody prays
(27:58):
in the direction of this one spot.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Now I'm gonna tell you guys a little quick thing
about the Kaba. And again, I know people of all
kinds of faith listen to this podcast. This is not
in any way to start debates about religion. So just
just put that there. The Kaba is in in Islamic belief,
believed to be the spot in place where Abraham and
his son Ishmael built the first place of worship to
(28:22):
a singular God.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
So Muslims are.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Not praying to the Kaba.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
They're praying in the direction of the first place of worship. Okay,
So in essence, they're playing praying in the Kaba, you
feel me.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
And so this thing that this place that I've seen
people pray towards for twenty plus years, right, that I've
prayed towards for twenty plus years. I was standing there
looking at it. Okay, mind you, mind you, two point
five million people can fit in this myshit.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
So we went into that mos two times the time
that I was in Mecca. Okay, the second time. The
first time we went we went to perform umra, which
is something separate, right, That's that was the pilgrimage.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
We went to perform umer, which I can explain later
if you want me to.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
But what I want to explain to you is two
days after we perform umer when we went there just
for prayer time. We went there for prayer time in
late afternoon prayer, which is called aser. We went there
to pray aser. And I need you guys to understand
what it felt like to be in a place where
two point five million people can be on the bottom floor,
(29:38):
where there are several hundred thousand people, and all of
those people performed the exact same prayer at the exact
same time in silence.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
What did you feel like? What did you feel like?
Speaker 5 (29:52):
Ag? What did you feel?
Speaker 3 (29:54):
Have never witnessed and are participated in a thing like that?
Speaker 1 (30:00):
In my life?
Speaker 3 (30:06):
I wish I had beautiful words. I wish I had beautiful.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Words, but I can only say at past there is
there is a very collective peace where and mind you know,
the floor is marble, it's white marble. To put my
forehead down on that white marble floor, no rug, no nothing,
(30:33):
and all of us are head down. All of us
have decided and understood in the collective moment that there
is a power bigger than ourselves, that creation has happened,
and that we are the product of creation. We are
the product of a perfect love. There isn't anything like that.
(30:53):
You want to take a moment and shuck whatever thoughts
you have about the validity of other people's belief for
what ugly things you've seen human beings do, or anything
that any kind of like hypocritical behavior that you've witnessed
other humans do, and think about a moment in time
where people can collectively be at peace and in worship,
(31:17):
in silence, in silence to get birds chirping.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
You can literally hear birds chirping a.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Hundred and I say, a hundred thousand people, hundreds of
thousands of people, my love I see in this moment.
Speaker 4 (31:40):
It's crazy because in this country that that happens in
very selective times.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
And I was just thinking, like.
Speaker 4 (31:48):
The last time I felt that was standing in a
millionaire march or something like that, where somebody was doing
a prayer and a million you know.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Like the scale to which the scale to which I
am talking about never there is an comparison. I just
and I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that from
the arrogance of belief. No, I'm saying the scale of
this is not a thing that you've experienced or that
you've seen before. The scale is much bigger than anything
(32:18):
you could imagine, even the building itself, the structure itself.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
You think about what building looks like this, There isn't
one two point five.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
There is a million million, a city, a city and
a lot of stadiums.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Yeah, I've been in a lot of stadiums in my life.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
I'm embarrassed to mention the main man margins. I'm like,
that's just a million. That's just a million people in
that place was crowded. So you know, even if you
think about like that outdoor space of that, that's half
the size of what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
The outside and people pray outside of it.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
So there's the outside too, there's it goes three levels
up and the people that pray on the rooftop part.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
Of it too.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
So there's just it's it is. It is an amazing
kind of experience. But more than anything, what it shows
you is a humanity that people have that is possible.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
And needed to carry this however, it's unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
I feel like we all get to carry it like
you do. I do right now. I feel like, like,
how else will we.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Know if someone, if nobody.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Tells you that something like this even exists, how would
we even know? And this and I feel so fortified
with hope right now. Thank you. I'm trying not.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
To let it go go Leah, don't you know. And
that's the thing, like we chow oh girl. We have
so many things that keep us from a I don't know,
just a common kind of sense of connection.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Yeah, any things that keep us from that.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
And to know things is possible really, like you said,
it's almost like that is the thing. To know a
thing is possible, even the ugliness of the world, you know,
because Saudi Arabia, come on, as a country, we already
know there's some things. Unsavory things happen everywhere, and every
government and every society, you know, all of these things happen,
(34:26):
you know, but also this happens too.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Also, this happens too.
Speaker 5 (34:32):
And often, right, that's crazy, and often.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Every day every day, girl, there's five prayers a day
every day, that.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Many people every day. I'm not saying at least.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
At least they're not at capacity, Yeah, they're not at capacity. Whatever,
hundreds of thousands of people every day. If you woke up,
if we were in Saudi right now, it is right
now currently one thirty five, you know PM, in a
couple of hours, we could all just go we could
(35:07):
all go over there and pray together today.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
You know, got to hear the humanity in that. Oh
my god, that is so exciting, so hopeful.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
What's interesting too is to watch people in their experiences, right,
because everybody's having coming from a different place in the world.
And so I'll circle back to when we actually performed Umer.
So one of the big parts of performing Umer's two parts.
One part is where you circle around the coba seven
times called Tuwaff's right, So let me say that that's
what the circle is, called a tawaff. So you make
(35:45):
that circle seven times, right.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
If you've seen photographs or video, you see tons of
people making a circle. And the way that I look
at it is it feels like a school of fish.
You watch school of fish move you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Together?
Speaker 1 (36:00):
If you yeah, if you lock into the rhythm, right,
it can be a very peaceful movement.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Right.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
But then also too, there are other people whose energy
is full of anxiety and overwhelming.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Right.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
It's like if you go to church, right, and there's
some people in their chair rocking back and forth, and
there's some people who are shouting and falling out on
the ground.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
It no different.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
You have some people have a very settled spirit and
some people have a very big and overwhelmed kind of spirit.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
Right.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Wait, wait, are they humming or singing or saying the
prayer or is it sign.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
That usually people are like praying out loud but not
you know, some people are loud, some people are not.
But the general vibe is rather subdued and quiet, right, generally,
But that doesn't mean that everybody is good.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
I already know it.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Yeah, but that's the thing you could There actually isn't
a prescribed prayer. You can say whatever you want during
this time period, So there isn't a prescribe. You say
whatever personal prayers you want when you turn around it
right there, if you lock into the rhythm of it
right and there's nobody, and sometimes you have groups that
might come in and they're a little bit more fast
and they're pushing, and it could be it could turn,
(37:10):
it could shift the peaceful energy right, because that happens too,
So I think it's important to talk about both sides.
But if you lock into that peaceful energy, you can
kind of know when to slow down, let people pass
do their thing, and you just keep going. And as
we were turning around, we had no intentions of actually
getting close to the car. But honestly, I always thought
(37:31):
to myself, like all them people, we ain't never gonna
get close to it. And we went in there. We
did one circle, we did two. There's eleven of us.
We stayed tight. We were locked in arms, just so
that we wouldn't lose each other, because you're talking about
hundreds of thousand people, thousands of people moving. You don't
want to lose nobody. We had elders with us. We
didn't want them to get tired, fall, trip, anything like that,
(37:54):
so we had to be information. We turned around, go
around the first time, go around the second time, second
time we went around, I looked up to my left.
I was like, wait a minute, we are very close
to the cobba. We went around the third time, and y'all,
before I knew it, my husband had made My husband
was in the front. He made a bee line to
(38:16):
the left, kind of leading the group, and then we
went to the left and child, we were literally right
next to it and right in front. And so it
was interesting because this thing, this moment, this space that
we were in, right, there's all these people in here,
right and these people every day, thousands and thousands, hundreds
(38:38):
and thousands of people are in here, and they'll never
actually get close to this thing. And so for some
reason it was meant that we would be in that
space and time, and all eleven of us were able
to stand there and make our prayers. But the beautiful
part for me was my mother in law fifty years
as a Muslim, she lives in America.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
She's done very little traveling. She's been a few places,
but done very little traveling. Here she was standing there
in the place of the direction she's prayed for fifty years,
at the spot for her very sacred place for her
as a believer, and watching her have that moment was
really just like an honor of my life. To be honest,
I won't even.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Lie to you.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
She's standing there and at one point there are lots
of people standing in front of her, and she was
kind of just out of reach of it, so I
know she wanted to touch it, but she's just out
of reach. And all these people were there and they're
not paying any attention to you because they're like, this
is my moment, so they're not really paying attention to
what you're doing, you know, praying and doing their thing.
There was a woman who said her prayers and as
(39:37):
she moved out of her spot right and mind you,
so many people one spot opens up. It feels right away,
you understand I'm saying, she moved away, and as she
moved away out of her spot, she grabbed my mother
in law and placed my mother in law in the
spot where she was. And this was like such a
(39:59):
gracious moment for me to witness around so many people.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
And as my mother in law put her hand up
on to touch the kaba.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
Now, mind you, I was kind of like I had
my prayers just written on my phone, but I have
my phone in my hand, I wasn't taking any pictures
or anything at that moment. And then my sister in
law turned around and said, age, please take this picture.
And I just had my phone in my hand, and
I lifted up and took the picture, and I was
able to capture the moment of my mother in law
making her prayers with her hand on the kaba. And
(40:30):
the thing that's so powerful about this moment we talked
about black women. My father in law, her husband, her
former husband, had made hodge. He was the head of
their family. He had, you know, implemented this belief in
all his children. We talked about him a lot on
the trip, right. But my mother in law, my mother
(40:51):
in law, has been the pillar of this family. She
has been the person that has held this family together
through a number of losses, a number of triumphs. She
has been the consistent love to these grandchildren. She has
been the person. It is her kindness, it is her love,
(41:12):
It is her ability to stand in her own truth,
which is the reason why the family that I have
been married into is as strong as it is. She
is that reason to watch her be the first of
the eleven of us to touch the co but to
be in that space to watch her make her prayers,
knowing all of you, knowing for that who was in
(41:36):
those prayers and who has been in her prayers for
this for for decades. Was a powerful moment. It showed you.
It was it was, It was an example. It was
a conversation that God was having with us.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Feel like a Bookie to me, I feel like you
got to book you liked you.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
I told you, I loved you.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
I told you the whole time, I showed you.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
I loved you.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
I showed you.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
I told you, Bookie.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
And the fruition is so much greater than you could
ever ever ever imagine.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Yeah, all of you gorgeous, Look how easy all so easy?
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Y'all easy easy?
Speaker 4 (42:26):
And what does she say? Can you tell us? What
does she say? Like after this experience, like y'all got it.
When y'all finally got a chance to breathe and talk
about it a lot, she she cried a.
Speaker 7 (42:37):
Lot more conversation after the break.
Speaker 5 (42:54):
I myself am glad that you went back.
Speaker 4 (42:58):
I think that that was what the greatest part of
this whole experience, that.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
You went second.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
It was your ma'am.
Speaker 4 (43:04):
It was And I just want to say that when
I do say what I did.
Speaker 5 (43:08):
I would just like it to be a to be
continued because.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
It's a whole other topic and definitely not in the
space of the beautiful, holy richness that Agia had experienced.
But it is something that doesn't need to be verst about.
So I'm so serious setting you off.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I said the word, to say the word, I'll cut
you off. I'll get you say the word. You'll say,
I say you respect.
Speaker 5 (43:35):
Yes, I just heard about that. Yes, okay, respect, ma'am,
thank you, mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
This whole time, we've been three different people, this whole time,
three different lives, sharing our lives with each other, this
whole thing. Yes, this, this whole ship. Every single one
of us has added to the stew that is us.
Speaker 5 (43:59):
Yes, that's true, and about I will add, I will add.
But what I'm I guarantee.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
You I'm not saying this.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
I'm saying this is another conversation that we will all
want to have separate day. I will say the word,
and you will be like, and you will be like, okay,
like you're right to be continued sen the word perriman
boss baby.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
Actually, yeah, no, we can start it right now, ma'am.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
We can start it and continue, because yes, you.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Want to know what I've been doing. I've been sweating, bitch.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
I've been sweating, bitch.
Speaker 4 (44:38):
I would like to say it averages about two two
times an hour.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Okay, let me say I've been losing.
Speaker 5 (44:45):
I don't think I've.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Lost four pounds in water weight.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
I don't know if you really do on you list?
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Okay, and oh.
Speaker 5 (45:07):
Wait, what I tell y'all?
Speaker 4 (45:10):
The denial was so deep, the denial, I said.
Speaker 5 (45:12):
I sent the email to my doctor.
Speaker 4 (45:14):
I said, listen, you told me last year I wasn't perimenopausal.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
I took your.
Speaker 5 (45:18):
Word for a doctor.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
I said, but I've been sweating. I've been sweating.
Speaker 5 (45:22):
She emailed me back.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
She says, sound like I'm from Oh you know what
I mean. But I heard it. I had.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
I had an episode on First Wives Club.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
I'm on B E T.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
And show Time and oh.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Yes, my, my, my character Hazel had perimenopause. That was
the first time I heard of it. So I'm trying
to do I'm trying to do right. Okay, somebody going in, Jill,
I don't know, but yeah, so okay, so that's what
I was doing as well.
Speaker 4 (46:08):
So yeah, what I do know is, Jill, is that
my birthday was in January and the last time I
was on my period.
Speaker 5 (46:16):
Was in February.
Speaker 4 (46:17):
So it's literally like and I should as in this
today of this recording people it's apral, So it's literally
like I turn fast, I turned the faux five and
my body went, yes, bitch, you turned the faux five.
Changes are coming, and so that's it's been an interesting
ride and so lately a lot of people, even from
(46:39):
Oprah to Drew Barrymore. I'm very exciting you guys because
much like.
Speaker 5 (46:43):
The period, I do believe Perry, menopause is going to
be the next thing that women are really talking about.
Speaker 3 (46:49):
Because you know it can last, it can last for
a while.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Because you might actually get a period again this year,
but they're saying that you're not.
Speaker 3 (46:58):
Actually Minopause is not over.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Until you haven't had a period for a full year,
so you can go back and forth.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
I think I've been in perimenopause since I was thirty three, So.
Speaker 4 (47:09):
I thought so too, Jill, because I was sweat quite often.
Is that why you talk so too? Just because it
was a square of other reasons.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
I don't get cycles. I didn't get cycles for a long, long,
long time long.
Speaker 4 (47:18):
It's interesting because and the thing about the Perry is
it's like you can still get get Some babies are
made in this process because you don't know when your
period is coming and whatnot, so you don't know when.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
I never have not the whole time, the whole time.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
So I literally think I've been perimenopausal since I got
my period back when I was thirty three. It stopped
when I was fourteen and a half and didn't come
back until I was thirty three.
Speaker 4 (47:47):
But see, yeah, because you already had things, but you
didn't have anything else but.
Speaker 3 (47:50):
That I had things things.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
No, that's I had asked God to take it away
because I was like, this hurts and I don't like
I don't like how it smells. I don't like this business.
I don't like none of this and it hurts, sound hurts,
Like take this away from me and bring it back
when you're ready for me to have a baby.
Speaker 5 (48:07):
Don't even get me sweat about that.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
I don't. I don't know it went on that, it
went away for years. It was a it was beautiful.
I mean I didn't think it was beautiful at the time,
but it went away from fourteen and a half to
thirty three, And interestingly enough, the night that it came back,
I was in London and I got I opened my
(48:30):
email and it said that I was officially divorced, and
I cried like a baby and I got my mother,
fucking wow wow.
Speaker 4 (48:42):
And then it just stayed with you, and it just
stayed every mom I love that shit.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
And then I then I had a period, and then
later I had a baby.
Speaker 4 (48:52):
Yeah, said yeah, you might be unicorn.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
On and then and then even now it comes and
then sometimes.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
I mean, I don't think.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
I mean, it's not really a common thing, but it
may be more common than we think.
Speaker 3 (49:05):
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
I don't think that that's specifically common, but it's more
common than you think. I think people don't talk enough
about that.
Speaker 3 (49:10):
Women.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
Many women at their regular periods their whole life, and
many women have always had it irregular period.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
Some people have a period.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
And don't have it for months and months and months
and months, and that all think. So I think that
happens way more often than we probably talk about. I
think we don't know a lot about women's cycles, and
I think there's so little researching.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
We're just starting. It's probably why. As soon as forty
five came, all of a sudden, I had a whole
bunch of hairs on my chin, and I was like,
who are you?
Speaker 3 (49:40):
Who is this man laying across my tin upside down?
Speaker 2 (49:44):
Like what is going on?
Speaker 1 (49:46):
I had a little I had a little one too.
I got a little a little tinly regularly little one
little hair too. I was she was, she was cracking
me up. I said, oh, I'm a pull you sis.
I don't care what they say. They say three more
grow back.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
But I think that's a part of this whole perimental
pause thing that I've been here ever since I was
thirty three. I didn't diagnose myself. Okay, now I just
don't sweat yet, bless you.
Speaker 5 (50:08):
Darling, because the sweating is like this next level, And.
Speaker 4 (50:13):
I think the main reason we need to talk about
it more is so that you can feel comfortable in
your sweat, so that people around you don't feel uncomfortable,
so that you because it's really a moment of like uncontrolled, it's.
Speaker 5 (50:23):
Something that you really can't control.
Speaker 4 (50:25):
And then after you sweat, then comes the cold because
guess what now you wet? Oh, it's a And I
realized it's also payback because my mom reminded me. She said,
you know, and there's a thing where people say you
should add you know, you should find out what your
mother's menopause story is because that yours will probably mimic it, which.
Speaker 5 (50:42):
My mom says to me.
Speaker 4 (50:43):
Things started forty five, she said, But I also remember
my sweats and you being the one to be.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Like, Mammy, you need, you need, you need a towel.
Speaker 5 (50:49):
Mammy is sweating, Mammy, you need something, Mommy, mommy, and
I sold.
Speaker 4 (50:52):
Now I'm saying, is this the motherfucking payback as well?
Speaker 2 (50:57):
Am I? So?
Speaker 4 (50:58):
I just got me some uh it was called estivent people,
the holistic stuff that it may take twenty something days.
Speaker 3 (51:04):
Are you having any changes in like your mood or anything?
Is it just as small?
Speaker 5 (51:10):
Now?
Speaker 4 (51:12):
I'm hoping it's just a sweating y'all know, I'm like
super conscious of my moods, so I don't think so
I have to ask other people around here.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
Sorry, Now you remember how Deanna, the fantastic and amazing
Deanna Williams always carried a gorgeous fan.
Speaker 4 (51:29):
Now only do I have a class. But it's funny
you mentioned Deanna because she also reminded me.
Speaker 5 (51:32):
She said, do you remember when I was your age
and how I was a super bitch?
Speaker 4 (51:37):
And I said, Yo, it was like so many.
Speaker 2 (51:40):
Things came together.
Speaker 4 (51:42):
I was like, Yo, So now I'm real conscious because
and not just because of her, but.
Speaker 5 (51:46):
Because I heard these things. I just I cannot. I
can't become a super bitch. I don't even know what
that looks like with me, y'all.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
I'm scared of being real conscious of that, which is tiring.
Speaker 4 (52:00):
Because you're always checking yourself, checking your responses for you
say your responses, and then you start sweating because you
get nervous because.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
Okay, maybe we could rename bitch because it looked like
it's gonna be what it is.
Speaker 5 (52:15):
This is what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (52:17):
It looks like it's gonna be what it is.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
To deserve it, it's like, take that name off of
it and put something else, something you like, something that
makes sense for this, because you're not mean, You're not nasty.
Bitches are mean and nasty, and that ain't it. Ain't
give zero fucks about ship.
Speaker 5 (52:38):
That's not mean neither though, that's not me neither. So
that's like, that's it.
Speaker 4 (52:41):
That's it could I'm meditating more and often and whatnot.
That's what I'm trying my meditation.
Speaker 3 (52:52):
You're just more direct.
Speaker 5 (52:53):
If I don't know what this version is age, that's
what you know of me.
Speaker 3 (52:56):
You're like this new version.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
I think this new version a deeper voice. It's what
you know, what you know? Maybe maybe she jiggles a
little more. I don't know, she's a little bit this thing.
You know what I'm like, Maybe you defind this thing
(53:19):
instead of.
Speaker 5 (53:19):
As long as they don't dry up. As long as
they don't dry.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
Up behind the dry Thank you say it again, Jim. Watery, juicy,
juicy delivery, workful andful waterfall rainbow speaks.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
You speak moisture into your life, ma'am.
Speaker 5 (53:48):
A girl has a reputation.
Speaker 2 (53:50):
Oh now, a girl is news new, brand new.
Speaker 3 (53:58):
If you will.
Speaker 2 (54:00):
Transformed, what experiences?
Speaker 1 (54:02):
Oh my god, I'm trying to participant. Jill's better at this,
at this type of thing.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
You were, you were, you know the words. Sometimes sometimes girl,
we're doing good.
Speaker 3 (54:17):
We're doing good, We're doing good. Come on, you gotta.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
Feeling life to.
Speaker 3 (54:22):
Life, life into her life and to the peace we speaking.
Speaker 2 (54:28):
There ain't nobody to be pretending to be shipped staying
in the hot. I know it hasn't happened to me yet,
but I've been on stage and had water pouring down
my under my titties, okay, just all all in.
Speaker 3 (54:44):
My feet, just all of it.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
Just I've being on stage just the only thing I
could equate it to. And I was pregnant in but
Twana in the sun with a fat suit on.
Speaker 1 (54:56):
I've I've experienced the heat though, like the you have
the summers what they call personal person like, are you
having a personal summer?
Speaker 4 (55:07):
I hate when the elders ask who already been doing it,
like ten ten years before, you.
Speaker 5 (55:10):
Know, oh didd are you having a personal summer? But so, Asia,
You've been having some some personal summers. Does it start
from the head? Is your Does it start from the head?
Speaker 2 (55:20):
Is it?
Speaker 4 (55:21):
Because it usually minds it is from the head, which
is an interesting.
Speaker 3 (55:24):
It starts in my head.
Speaker 1 (55:26):
And definitely I felt like that that like I got
to kick all the covers off a night, like kick
everything off.
Speaker 3 (55:33):
Okay, I'm having that, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 4 (55:37):
You start when you start with one leg out and
then eventually it's just like and you start with pajamas
or maybe a nice night.
Speaker 5 (55:43):
Then you really start going, why am I wearing us?
Just wear you?
Speaker 2 (55:48):
Just wear your draw So far, just it's it's pajamas
with a gentle fan.
Speaker 3 (55:54):
I'm enjoying doing it this good.
Speaker 2 (55:58):
I'm enjoying fabrics them to pajama and and and a fan,
a light fan.
Speaker 4 (56:08):
The window is open and the fan is on high, honey.
Speaker 5 (56:12):
And it is forty degrees outside around here. Wow.
Speaker 3 (56:17):
No, I was getting the little warm ups my homeboys.
Speaker 2 (56:20):
And he when he come home with his wife, he
got to put on the coat. Please.
Speaker 4 (56:33):
You know, that's why look shouts to the partners that
get it. I just want to say, min he he's
been real sweet and patient and sweet about it.
Speaker 1 (56:43):
So it's I mean, it's the reality of life, you know.
It's it's the thanks just what happens, you know, thank you.
Speaker 5 (56:52):
It is. But it's just one of the ones. We
don't really leave blessing it up about too much. We
haven't been thus far.
Speaker 3 (56:58):
We don't know a lot yet. We don't know a
lot about it. We don't.
Speaker 5 (57:02):
We thought I'm like I thought, I'm young.
Speaker 3 (57:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (57:04):
Everything that you've heard thus far today has been an
example of life. This thing we live in this thing
is and when we follow our paths in our wholeness
and our sincerity, the benefits what we reap is worth
(57:25):
the living in your sincerity.
Speaker 3 (57:28):
Come on, it's worth it.
Speaker 5 (57:30):
That's your mother in law. She been through what I've
been through, and then she.
Speaker 3 (57:38):
Preach child present.
Speaker 2 (57:42):
And Amen. Thank you so much for listening to j
dot L the podcast. Talk to you later. How do
you Eat an Elephant? One by time?
Speaker 8 (57:57):
Hey, y'all, it's Airnberg, the producer here.
Speaker 3 (58:00):
We missed y'all for real.
Speaker 8 (58:02):
We are so excited to be back and sharing this
podcast with you. This episode left me so inspired and
just just blessed. I want to leave you with a
couple resources from the things we talked about today. First up,
there is still a time to see Joe on tour.
I'll leave a link in the show notes for tickets.
(58:23):
And if you're interested in learning more about taking a
pilgrimage and planning your own, whether that's tied to a
certain faith or not, I want to leave you with
a resource from a website called a Sacred Journey. They
lay out all the things you need to consider when
thinking about taking a pilgrimage. In last but not least
did any of you relate to Laia's journey with perimenopause.
(58:43):
I am leaving you with an article from Nam's The
North American Menopause Society that literally breaks down menopause one
on one, what's happening to your body, what to expect
in perimenopause, what to expect in the full minopause transition.
Speaker 2 (58:59):
But we will have an.
Speaker 8 (59:00):
Episode later this season that dives deep into this topic.
Speaker 3 (59:04):
Take care, y'all.
Speaker 8 (59:05):
Tell all your friends that jedt L is back with
new episodes and I will see you here again next week.
Speaker 1 (59:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Hi.
Speaker 2 (59:24):
If you have comments on something we said in this
episode called eight six six, Hey, Jill, if you want
to add to this conversation, that's eight six six four.
Speaker 3 (59:35):
Three nine five four five five.
Speaker 2 (59:37):
Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode
you're referring to. You might just hear your message on
a future episode.
Speaker 8 (59:45):
Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot L.
Speaker 3 (59:49):
The podcast.
Speaker 2 (59:53):
Jay dot IL is a production of iHeartRadio. For more
podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the eye Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Yeah, welcome to J dot L, a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
What's Up? Hi? Hi, Hi, everybody, Welcome to J dot
L the Podcast. I'm sitting here with my wonderful sister
friends Laiah Saint Clair what that was?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
And Aga Graydon Danceler.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hello. Yeah, it's been it's been a little moment. Lots
has occurred in our in our lives. Some of it
is wild and amazing, and some of it is simple
and poignant, and some of it just we slept, you know,
(00:50):
I know, I took a deep, deep nap on them
on multiple kass Jill Scott by the way, because I
didn't introduce myself, but yeah, I definitely didn't. Okay, Yes,
good good things, Yeah, good good good life, living stuff,
just living. One thing that I discovered during this time
(01:11):
is that I have I have an achilles spur. Oh shit,
Oh yeah, you got spurs like the President. I got spurs.
I just showed my age.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
I did.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
What that mean though? What that mean?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
It means that I got some weird bone that is
kind of sticking out and just agitating my my achilles.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Wo.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
So eventually I'm probably gonna have to get that shaved
or something like that.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Like, I don't know, does that affect your ability where
like high heels and stuff?
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Yes, absolutely, without question?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Yo, can you talk about because let's just keep it
funky and absolutely real that we've all been on on
who is Joe Scott tour break and it's just interesting
seeing your new tour regalia versus your old and talking
about shoes because Asian and I were fortunate enough to
catch you, you know, in the in the in your
tour process, and I got a little jealous. I was like, Jill,
what the hell? What change? No?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
No, no, And then that another part of that is
like you guys know I have anxiety, right, I understand
it's just a lot of people. It's a lot of people,
and I'm in front of a lot of people. You know,
it's been a while too, right, it's been three years?
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Oh yes, right, yes.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
You know. I'll shaken in my boots quite a bit,
like can I do this? Do I do I remember?
Will I will I be able to emote? Will I
will I be able to change? You know?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Will I be able to like?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I don't know, Like it's been a long time and
I've really been living another life, you know, outside.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Getting the reviews, and the reviews say that Jill is.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Fucking That's how I feel.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yeah, but I feel like a good rest changes the game.
A good rest, you're nervous about not being able to
re enter, But the rest and the step back is
what makes you probably that much better. Like you're saying, yeah,
you come back with a fresh energy, and you know,
(03:27):
like you haven't used the voice in that same way
in a long time. So the voice has rested. The
body has rested too. The body has rested. I think
I'm not surprised that it's been off the chain. I
wore sneakers on stage for the first time in a
long long time recently too.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
And I'm gonna tell you something.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
It's you ain't never going back. But you ain't never
going back.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
I bet you you got something. Here's one. You're saying better.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
Because you're comfortable.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
That's fair enough, because you're comfortable. And you ever heard
you'd you have her? The saying flat foot singing, well.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Patty LaBelle, y'all just made me think about Patty Like
she kicks off the shoes.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
That's when she kicks off the shoes.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
That flat foot singing, it's different.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I mean, I ain't gonna lie. I wear birkenstocks, I
wear wear whatever. I feel like.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I would take this moment to honor, honor the elder
that is Lisa Fisher.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
We we wanted to her because she always.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
No, Because I'm gonna tell you something. A while ago
she decided, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this
with y'all anymore. I'm not giving y'all full on glamoor, makeup,
hair heels. You all are gonna get this singing on today, and.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
That's what you're gonna get.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
And once she gave us the singing, she said, no,
you're gonna come for the singing, okay.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
But she she was. She was in Glam War, she
was in Glam Military. I mean she started out.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
With, yes, she comes from that era.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
You pulled it together, honey, Yes that's Jill.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
You said ship, you sprayed it, you sacked it, and
then you gave them voice. Okay, she said, no, we're
stripping this down.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
So wait, is Jill Scott not cinching anymore? Are you
like you saying you for the shoes the sench. This
is Jill Scott. I'm gonna tell you the whole truth
everything I do, everything, that I do supports me on stage. Okay,
Like I definitely I wears a cinch, but it's it's
(05:50):
also across my back so that I feel safe. Yeah,
Like it's a whole thing. I read, Oh wow, strengthening
aligned exactly all the things.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Yes, yes, indeed.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah. But I also realized that since I've been on
this road for these last couple of months, I'm like, girl,
it's it's it's some exercising to be done. It's a
muscle builds un to be done because it's been three years,
and it's a I'm different you know what I mean.
It's a different muscle, it's a different energy. But how
(06:29):
I am now is strange to me because after I
get off stage, I am beaming for about three four hours.
I don't go to bed. I can't go to bed.
I'm still walking, you know, I'm still like talking, I'm
still like moving, I'm still you know. So typically now
(06:51):
I'm like, when I get back to the hotel, I'll
just pack all my stuff up, you know, like to
prepare for the next day so that I can sleep.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
A little longer.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Bea we got to go to the next you know, Like, yes,
but I got it.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I'm like, because I mean, I don't know singing it
does it? It's the payoff for all the other bs.
You go through all the other bs to feel that
spiritual and that physical connection and you go out there
and it's just like amazing. There's nothing on the planet
(07:30):
like that. And then mind you you're singing your songs.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
You're singing your songs.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
That you wrote from your heart and your experience and
your living that. Yeah, and your your your and your creativity,
and you're living that in that moment, you're reconnecting with
your own you know, ability to create.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, all of that is that's the point, right.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
That that talking about it like I feel it.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
It's if I had any questions whether I still loved
it or that, you know, if it was for me
or not. I got my answer.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I got my answer.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Oh good, because yeah, because you know, I was quitting
many many, many times.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
We hope, so we want you to enjoy it while
you're doing it. Yeah, So can I ask my fan
perspective because 'all know I like to I like to
look at y'all and my fan perspective sometimes.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
So this is interesting.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
But my performance thing right because I Jill said she
hasn't performed in three years, right, But I know that agent.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
She has been doing like a few spot days out
throughout the COVID and whatnot. Whatever.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
But you just had your first big trip international trip.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Right in the COVID. Am I right?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
How's that right?
Speaker 5 (08:40):
This is your first big international work trip work trip.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Oh no, I wasn't working. I wasn't working, you know,
you know I worked. The only year that I didn't
work was twenty twenty.
Speaker 5 (08:51):
Wait wait wait the only work.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
I was only the only year is I just want
to say this.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
The only time that I did not work was twenty twenty,
twenty twenty one, I went back to work.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I worked a lot, That's what I'm saying. That's what
I say.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
And then twenty.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Twenty two was the year that we worked the most.
So we worked every month like we' this.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
Is That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
So this is this was my first job.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Yeah, this was my first time overseas in over in
over three years. But I did not go to work.
I actually don't go back to Europe to work for
another I think like six months.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
I forgot you didn't work when you went.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
More real talk after the break.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Wait a minute, So why were you in Europe?
Speaker 3 (09:47):
I wasn't in Europe. No, I wasn't. I went to Okay,
all right, yeah, y'all, y'all pulls together a segway.
Speaker 5 (10:02):
God, we're doing this for a while.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
I know.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
I was like, this is so professional. Where'd I go?
Speaker 4 (10:09):
So?
Speaker 5 (10:09):
I did not go up.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I went to to Saudia, Arabia zalig.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Yes. I went to Saudi for seven days.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
It was not for work. It was a spiritual pilgrimage.
But it's the minor pilgrimage. So I know many of
you all who if you're familiar with Malcolm X, right,
then Malcolm goes and makes Hodge and that's when he
becomes el Hadje Malik Shabbaz, right, And for the most
kind of general black, general black audience, that's what they
(10:40):
know of Hodge. So Hodge is the major kind of
once in a lifetime pilgrimage that Muslims make. Then there's
like a minor, a minor pilgrimage called Umra. Umra is
something that you can make at any time, really and
you can do it as many times as you want to.
And umra can you know you can do that in
any time during the year. So this year, the backstory
(11:03):
is that my mother in law, who is in her
I won't.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Even say what her age is. She's nailser. It'd alling.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
We don't put the age out there that was sold.
We don't do that anymore. So she has been Muslim
for fifty plus years. She was going to make Umra.
My brother in law was going to escort her as well.
She and her best friend best girlfriend were going to go,
and that was their plan. Well, as the planning was
going forward, her children one by one decided they were
(11:35):
going to also go. But she didn't know this. So
we had already planned that we were going to do
a sendoff dinner for her the night before she left
to go to Saudi. But what she didn't know was
that the night that we had her send away that
we were going to reveal that all but two of
her children would also be making this pilgrimage with her.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
So it was all but two of her children and
their mates.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5 (11:59):
Yeah, I had a party.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
We had a party plane dowelling yes, and then so
two other family friends also came. So there were eleven
of us in total. And what we ended up calling
ourselves was the Umra eleven darling. We had a fabulous
and beautiful trip. Yeah, And so it was just as
(12:24):
much a reconnection at a family level, at a community level,
as it was also a kind of a spiritual reconnection
and also to like going into a different country and
experiencing what their day to day is like. And also too,
if you're black and you're Muslim in America, you are
(12:45):
always going to kind of feel a sense of isolation.
You'll feel a sense of isolation in Islamic spaces, You'll
feel a sense of isolation in non Islamic spaces and
white spaces and blacks, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
All of that, so you'll experience some of that.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
One of the things that was interesting was to go
into an Islamic country and the things that are things
you have to seek out in America that are just part.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Of the norm.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Like like when you're traveling and you check it to
a hotel, there's a mosque in the hotel. You can
go pray so you can play the hotel. You don't
have to pray.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
In your room.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
You don't have to find a mosque, you don't have
to there's one right there when it's time for a
call to prayer. The call to prayer happens publicly, you
don't have to have it on your phone. That's when
I realized that I was American. Like my prayer reminder
would go off on my phone and.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Everybody would look around, like, well, what do you even
need that for, ma'am? You don't need it all the food?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Wait, wait, wait, because it goes off. Let's get back
to We'll get to the meat, I promise and the
food because I already.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Know, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, just I haven't been in Saudi Arabia, but being
in Istanbul all right, the five times a day, it
was the most beautiful full body prayer experience that everybody
was having collect.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
The same time.
Speaker 5 (14:13):
Oh, because they stop. Everybody stops.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Yeah, people pray on the street.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
It's not it's not even a thing. It's not a thing.
So for us it's looking at it feels extraordinary, but
it is the mundane for them, you know. And so yeah,
that the call to prayer is a really beautiful thing
that was done first by Blao, who wasn't a man
(14:40):
of African descent, and the first call to prayer was
done by that brother. The first in history was done
by a man of African descent, and the idea that
the melodic way and the recitation of it sounds like singing,
it just does.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
It is. It is a.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Very beautiful connection with God that is undeniable. When you
hear the Avan being called, I don't care what faith
you practice, you cannot deny the beauty of this thing.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
You can't.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
It is an undeniable It is an undeniable beauty. And
what it means in English is a universal call to
praise God. So even if you are not of the faith,
listening to it and even repeating it for yourself is.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Absolutely culture for all.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
So at the end of the day, it's something that
you can that everyone can at a human you know,
place connect with if you do believe in God.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
So there's that right, so you know, anyway.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
But that was one of the one of the wonderful
things was that, like I said, many of the things
that were mundane in Saudi were things that you know,
you have to kind of seek out. All the food
is allowed. And so here's another little interesting tidbit. We
went the week of the first week of Rhyme. So
when we got there, several days after we arrived was
the first was the first day of Ramadan. Ramadan, for
(16:05):
those of you who don't know, it's thirty day fast
from sun up to sundown that Muslims do every year
according to the lunar calendar. So it's not the same
time every year like Christmas or Easter or something like that.
It happens, you know, it moves around, right, because it's
according to the lunar calendar. But it is thirty days
and we do fast thirty from sun up to sundown.
(16:26):
So one of the wonderful things about being in Saudi
Arabia doing Ramadan is that everything's open at night, at night, children, people,
everybody's awake because at the end of the day you
got to eat after sundown, and so people like to
run their errands. You can go shopping at night till
two three o'clock in the morning. You can go to Starbucks,
you can do all. Everything's open. It's like turned up,
(16:49):
you know what I mean, in the most like you know,
religious conservative way you can be, but it is turned out.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
Did you feel like did you feel like early morning, right, yeah,
early morning.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Did you feel like there was a homing there was
a homey ness. You understand what I'm saying, there's a
there's a homey ness. I know that there are a
lot of Muslims, black, white whoever, who do feel very
much like when they're in Saudi, like, this is the
life that I want to live because this is conducive
to my belief, because my belief dictates my lifestyle. So
for them, it's like to have and live in a
(17:21):
space that also is dictated and lifestyle is dictated by that.
It's like a breath of fresh air, a release of
the pressure of like western you know, Western ways kind
of thing. And I definitely felt that release. I felt
that release of this kind of Western way of doing
things that makes you feel like you gotta be doing
(17:42):
this kind of thing all the time we got on
the train, and before the train went on its journey,
over the loudspeaker, after they gave us our information about.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
What time it was and when we was going.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
To arrive, they played a travel doua, which is a prayer,
and it felt like that felt homie to me because
you know how black people are, like, Oh, we about
to go somewhere, let's pray all right, Lord give us
traveling mercies and blah dah dah dah. You know what
I'm saying, A very it harkens to a very black,
you know, Christian centric, but black way of doing things,
(18:16):
you know what I'm saying that we grew up on.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I think it's very interesting that it's called doah.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Yeah, I mean, it's very interesting.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
There's so many beautiful words, so many beautiful meanings to
things you had.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
No American moments.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Agent from my favorite American moment was this, The whole
country is is quiet.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Everywhere is quiet.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
And listen, there are degrees of there are degrees of quiet.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Right.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
So when we flew and we flew into Qatar, which
is a different country but still it's like right on
the little edge of on the east coast edge of
Saudi Arabia, right, So it's very you know, big city ish,
very metropolitan, you know what I'm saying. So even though
it was kind of mellow in Qatar, it wasn't quiet.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
So we moved from Qatar to Jetta.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Jedda is on the west coast of Saudi Arabia, in
between Medina and Mecca, two of the Holy cities.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Right, So you get to Jetta and Jedda is a
little quieter right. Then the next day we went to Medina,
and Medina was pin drop, baby, pin drop, you feel.
Speaker 5 (19:26):
Work for this group of large black people.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
They everywhere we were. If it wasn't bad enough that
we was black and American child, we was loud and
adjusting to it was interesting because at first we weren't
even cognizant of our volume because we're just being normal
right right.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
And I was talking to so.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
There was a brother there that was with us, a
family friend who's an email and at one point he
noticed it and was.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Like, oh, y'all, people are literally staring at us.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
I know they are, and looking at y'all life with
the nasty looks.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Like yeah, I mean, and let me just tell you
we got equal parts nasty and equal parts kind.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Loving, welcoming.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
It was just like any place really, to be honest,
like if just as much rude ship in Paris.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
You know what I'm saying. I heard, so my thing
is so.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Anyway, So suggesting ourselves was really interesting. And at first
I'm talking to him, I'm like, so are we adjusting
ourselves culturally? Because or are I said, See, I have
to always check things like is this anti black because
my joy is okay. We do because because I'm like
my joy and the way I express myself is okay,
(20:40):
everywhere I go, I'm I'm okay. So I needed to
I had to be clear on what I was doing.
Am I silencing myself in this moment? Or am I
being respectful?
Speaker 5 (20:52):
Right?
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Because being respectful is important too, because you just can't
be whatever you want to be everywhere, and that's just
the truth. Sometimes you do have to do. You have
to be respectful of other people. Sometimes you have to
eat in the Calabash, babee. Sometimes you gotta eat. So
that's the thing. So for me, I'm like, all right, cool,
(21:12):
but I had to check that. I was like, let me,
let me, let me have a conversation with myself. What
am I doing here?
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Right?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
And eventually the quiet really didn't fight me. Eventually the
quiet just became the norm. It was like, eventually, it
wasn't a thing where it was just like, oh, let
me not look like I'm loud and black. It just
felt like it's quiet here, so let me experience the quiet.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
I love this so so so much, age, I love
this so so so much because.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
Listen, y'all, why you think we so loud.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Years and years are not being heard, years and years
of being ignored, years and years of doing things and
being things and having them stolen. Why you think we
so loud? Huh.
Speaker 5 (22:05):
I can't take your truth right now.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
I can't take all this truth right now, Joe Scott, listen,
I can't take all this listen.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Thank you for explaining me.
Speaker 5 (22:12):
Thank you for explaining me.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
If you feel silenced in general, Probably there is a
tendency to when you're happy, to be very happy, right,
But I also want to be careful not to look
at our joy through the lens of that.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Either there is just.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
A nasal quiet joy too.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Maybe there is just a natural inclination to joyous behavior
that we just have.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Who knows.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
I thought we created the word hey, come on, but.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
Here's the vibes, here's the vibes. All of it is true.
I think I think it's all true.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
And you know, I love to hold a multiply appreciate
we are not.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
We're not. That's what I love, y'all.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Motherfucking women. That's why.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
That's because we have you knowed you've been saying it's
black women. For me lately, I've been saying that a lot.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Listen and sisters, that's what I'm saying, is always that.
That's why I won't.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
And let me say this not this is not even
like a a This is not a slight to any anybody.
You have when you have a shared no, no what I'm saying,
but when you when you have a shared religious belief
for spiritual belief that's all over the world. See, that's
one thing that's really kind of beautiful. You go there
and you see people from all over. But there was
(23:47):
a difference in the way sisters who were brown treated me,
talk to me, touched me. Then there was a difference.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
There was a different kind of kindness, openness and receiving.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
There just was. And we connect like that all over
the world. This is what I understand about it now, right,
A sister from Somalia talked to me, a sister from here,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
It was like a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
But I did and that was kind of a very
very much like a built in softness that was there.
You know, that was a built in And I don't
say that to say I didn't have kind moments with
other women and other women who were American and or
English speaking who weren't black. Because that happened. Also, English
speaking people definitely sought me out. So I had a
(24:51):
great moment with a sister from the UK, a white
sister from the UK. I had a great moment with
a sister from Detroit who prayed next to me the
Prophet's Mosque in Medina. And I had a great moment
where another sister was from Canada whose parents are from Somalia,
but she grew up in Canada.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
So I had a bunch of different moments like that, we're.
Speaker 7 (25:16):
Gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
I love that you were able to experience being first
everybody was, you know, of same faith, not similar, same same.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
That's to experience.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
That because you're obviously here in the United States. You know,
you've got your Christians, and then you got your Christians,
and they got your Christians, and then got your Christians,
and then you got your It's a lot.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Well, to be fair, to be fair, to be fair,
there's variation in the Islamic world. So there's there's very Yeah,
there's variation in all of it, right, the would be.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Right.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
There's variation in the way people do things their culture
very much. So if you go into if you go
into Mecca, right, and that was the only time you
ever spend time around Muslims, you would think all Muslim women.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Wear black, Okay, But but.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
If you went to a Sambol, right, then you would
see that Muslim women wear all kinds of colors.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Right.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
So depending on where you are, yes, there are differences
in variations, but there but there's a basic there's a
basic belief that is that it is the same across
the board. And let me just tell you guys, this
is the singular most powerful moment of my life. Okay,
this was the singular most powerful moment of my life
as it pertains to believe in connection with God.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Right, so we went to Mecca.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
Right.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
The mosque in Mecca is called Masja.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Haram, right, and it holds at capacity two point five
million people. Who I said that five massjed Haram massed
Haram is. You've probably seen it in photographs. In the
center of Mashya Haram is the kaba. The kaba is
a black building covered it's covered in a black draping
(27:32):
and it's a little black square. And you've seen this.
You probably see if you've ever seen pictures of what
people might say is hodge or what you see people
circle it, right, So Muslims pray in the direction of
the Kaba. So everywhere you go in the world, when
a Muslim praise, they will find the direction towards the Kaba.
The Kaba is located in this mostuat, so everybody prays
(27:58):
in the direction of this one spot.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Now I'm gonna tell you guys a little quick thing
about the Kaba. And again, I know people of all
kinds of faith listen to this podcast. This is not
in any way to start debates about religion. So just
just put that there. The Kaba is in in Islamic belief,
believed to be the spot in place where Abraham and
his son Ishmael built the first place of worship to
(28:22):
a singular God.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
So Muslims are.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Not praying to the Kaba.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
They're praying in the direction of the first place of worship. Okay,
So in essence, they're playing praying in the Kaba, you
feel me.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
And so this thing that this place that I've seen
people pray towards for twenty plus years, right, that I've
prayed towards for twenty plus years. I was standing there
looking at it. Okay, mind you, mind you, two point
five million people can fit in this myshit.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
So we went into that mos two times the time
that I was in Mecca. Okay, the second time. The
first time we went we went to perform umra, which
is something separate, right, That's that was the pilgrimage.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
We went to perform umer, which I can explain later
if you want me to.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
But what I want to explain to you is two
days after we perform umer when we went there just
for prayer time. We went there for prayer time in
late afternoon prayer, which is called aser. We went there
to pray aser. And I need you guys to understand
what it felt like to be in a place where
two point five million people can be on the bottom floor,
(29:38):
where there are several hundred thousand people, and all of
those people performed the exact same prayer at the exact
same time in silence.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
What did you feel like? What did you feel like?
Speaker 5 (29:52):
Ag? What did you feel?
Speaker 3 (29:54):
Have never witnessed and are participated in a thing like that?
Speaker 1 (30:00):
In my life?
Speaker 3 (30:06):
I wish I had beautiful words. I wish I had beautiful.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Words, but I can only say at past there is
there is a very collective peace where and mind you know,
the floor is marble, it's white marble. To put my
forehead down on that white marble floor, no rug, no nothing,
(30:33):
and all of us are head down. All of us
have decided and understood in the collective moment that there
is a power bigger than ourselves, that creation has happened,
and that we are the product of creation. We are
the product of a perfect love. There isn't anything like that.
(30:53):
You want to take a moment and shuck whatever thoughts
you have about the validity of other people's belief for
what ugly things you've seen human beings do, or anything
that any kind of like hypocritical behavior that you've witnessed
other humans do, and think about a moment in time
where people can collectively be at peace and in worship,
(31:17):
in silence, in silence to get birds chirping.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
You can literally hear birds chirping a.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Hundred and I say, a hundred thousand people, hundreds of
thousands of people, my love I see in this moment.
Speaker 4 (31:40):
It's crazy because in this country that that happens in
very selective times.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
And I was just thinking, like.
Speaker 4 (31:48):
The last time I felt that was standing in a
millionaire march or something like that, where somebody was doing
a prayer and a million you know.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Like the scale to which the scale to which I
am talking about never there is an comparison. I just
and I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that from
the arrogance of belief. No, I'm saying the scale of
this is not a thing that you've experienced or that
you've seen before. The scale is much bigger than anything
(32:18):
you could imagine, even the building itself, the structure itself.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
You think about what building looks like this, There isn't
one two point five.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
There is a million million, a city, a city and
a lot of stadiums.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Yeah, I've been in a lot of stadiums in my life.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
I'm embarrassed to mention the main man margins. I'm like,
that's just a million. That's just a million people in
that place was crowded. So you know, even if you
think about like that outdoor space of that, that's half
the size of what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
The outside and people pray outside of it.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
So there's the outside too, there's it goes three levels
up and the people that pray on the rooftop part.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
Of it too.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
So there's just it's it is. It is an amazing
kind of experience. But more than anything, what it shows
you is a humanity that people have that is possible.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
And needed to carry this however, it's unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
I feel like we all get to carry it like
you do. I do right now. I feel like, like,
how else will we.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Know if someone, if nobody.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Tells you that something like this even exists, how would
we even know? And this and I feel so fortified
with hope right now. Thank you. I'm trying not.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
To let it go go Leah, don't you know. And
that's the thing, like we chow oh girl. We have
so many things that keep us from a I don't know,
just a common kind of sense of connection.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Yeah, any things that keep us from that.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
And to know things is possible really, like you said,
it's almost like that is the thing. To know a
thing is possible, even the ugliness of the world, you know,
because Saudi Arabia, come on, as a country, we already
know there's some things. Unsavory things happen everywhere, and every
government and every society, you know, all of these things happen,
(34:26):
you know, but also this happens too.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Also, this happens too.
Speaker 5 (34:32):
And often, right, that's crazy, and often.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Every day every day, girl, there's five prayers a day
every day, that.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Many people every day. I'm not saying at least.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
At least they're not at capacity, Yeah, they're not at capacity. Whatever,
hundreds of thousands of people every day. If you woke up,
if we were in Saudi right now, it is right
now currently one thirty five, you know PM, in a
couple of hours, we could all just go we could
(35:07):
all go over there and pray together today.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
You know, got to hear the humanity in that. Oh
my god, that is so exciting, so hopeful.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
What's interesting too is to watch people in their experiences, right,
because everybody's having coming from a different place in the world.
And so I'll circle back to when we actually performed Umer.
So one of the big parts of performing Umer's two parts.
One part is where you circle around the coba seven
times called Tuwaff's right, So let me say that that's
what the circle is, called a tawaff. So you make
(35:45):
that circle seven times, right.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
If you've seen photographs or video, you see tons of
people making a circle. And the way that I look
at it is it feels like a school of fish.
You watch school of fish move you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Together?
Speaker 1 (36:00):
If you yeah, if you lock into the rhythm, right,
it can be a very peaceful movement.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Right.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
But then also too, there are other people whose energy
is full of anxiety and overwhelming.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Right.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
It's like if you go to church, right, and there's
some people in their chair rocking back and forth, and
there's some people who are shouting and falling out on
the ground.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
It no different.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
You have some people have a very settled spirit and
some people have a very big and overwhelmed kind of spirit.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
Right.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Wait, wait, are they humming or singing or saying the
prayer or is it sign.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
That usually people are like praying out loud but not
you know, some people are loud, some people are not.
But the general vibe is rather subdued and quiet, right, generally,
But that doesn't mean that everybody is good.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
I already know it.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Yeah, but that's the thing you could There actually isn't
a prescribed prayer. You can say whatever you want during
this time period, So there isn't a prescribe. You say
whatever personal prayers you want when you turn around it
right there, if you lock into the rhythm of it
right and there's nobody, and sometimes you have groups that
might come in and they're a little bit more fast
and they're pushing, and it could be it could turn,
(37:10):
it could shift the peaceful energy right, because that happens too,
So I think it's important to talk about both sides.
But if you lock into that peaceful energy, you can
kind of know when to slow down, let people pass
do their thing, and you just keep going. And as
we were turning around, we had no intentions of actually
getting close to the car. But honestly, I always thought
(37:31):
to myself, like all them people, we ain't never gonna
get close to it. And we went in there. We
did one circle, we did two. There's eleven of us.
We stayed tight. We were locked in arms, just so
that we wouldn't lose each other, because you're talking about
hundreds of thousand people, thousands of people moving. You don't
want to lose nobody. We had elders with us. We
didn't want them to get tired, fall, trip, anything like that,
(37:54):
so we had to be information. We turned around, go
around the first time, go around the second time, second
time we went around, I looked up to my left.
I was like, wait a minute, we are very close
to the cobba. We went around the third time, and y'all,
before I knew it, my husband had made My husband
was in the front. He made a bee line to
(38:16):
the left, kind of leading the group, and then we
went to the left and child, we were literally right
next to it and right in front. And so it
was interesting because this thing, this moment, this space that
we were in, right, there's all these people in here,
right and these people every day, thousands and thousands, hundreds
(38:38):
and thousands of people are in here, and they'll never
actually get close to this thing. And so for some
reason it was meant that we would be in that
space and time, and all eleven of us were able
to stand there and make our prayers. But the beautiful
part for me was my mother in law fifty years
as a Muslim, she lives in America.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
She's done very little traveling. She's been a few places,
but done very little traveling. Here she was standing there
in the place of the direction she's prayed for fifty years,
at the spot for her very sacred place for her
as a believer, and watching her have that moment was
really just like an honor of my life. To be honest,
I won't even.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Lie to you.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
She's standing there and at one point there are lots
of people standing in front of her, and she was
kind of just out of reach of it, so I
know she wanted to touch it, but she's just out
of reach. And all these people were there and they're
not paying any attention to you because they're like, this
is my moment, so they're not really paying attention to
what you're doing, you know, praying and doing their thing.
There was a woman who said her prayers and as
(39:37):
she moved out of her spot right and mind you,
so many people one spot opens up. It feels right away,
you understand I'm saying, she moved away, and as she
moved away out of her spot, she grabbed my mother
in law and placed my mother in law in the
spot where she was. And this was like such a
(39:59):
gracious moment for me to witness around so many people.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
And as my mother in law put her hand up
on to touch the kaba.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
Now, mind you, I was kind of like I had
my prayers just written on my phone, but I have
my phone in my hand, I wasn't taking any pictures
or anything at that moment. And then my sister in
law turned around and said, age, please take this picture.
And I just had my phone in my hand, and
I lifted up and took the picture, and I was
able to capture the moment of my mother in law
making her prayers with her hand on the kaba. And
(40:30):
the thing that's so powerful about this moment we talked
about black women. My father in law, her husband, her
former husband, had made hodge. He was the head of
their family. He had, you know, implemented this belief in
all his children. We talked about him a lot on
the trip, right. But my mother in law, my mother
(40:51):
in law, has been the pillar of this family. She
has been the person that has held this family together
through a number of losses, a number of triumphs. She
has been the consistent love to these grandchildren. She has
been the person. It is her kindness, it is her love,
(41:12):
It is her ability to stand in her own truth,
which is the reason why the family that I have
been married into is as strong as it is. She
is that reason to watch her be the first of
the eleven of us to touch the co but to
be in that space to watch her make her prayers,
knowing all of you, knowing for that who was in
(41:36):
those prayers and who has been in her prayers for
this for for decades. Was a powerful moment. It showed you.
It was it was, It was an example. It was
a conversation that God was having with us.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Feel like a Bookie to me, I feel like you
got to book you liked you.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
I told you, I loved you.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
I told you the whole time, I showed you.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
I loved you.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
I showed you.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
I told you, Bookie.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
And the fruition is so much greater than you could
ever ever ever imagine.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Yeah, all of you gorgeous, Look how easy all so easy?
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Y'all easy easy?
Speaker 4 (42:26):
And what does she say? Can you tell us? What
does she say? Like after this experience, like y'all got it.
When y'all finally got a chance to breathe and talk
about it a lot, she she cried a.
Speaker 7 (42:37):
Lot more conversation after the break.
Speaker 5 (42:54):
I myself am glad that you went back.
Speaker 4 (42:58):
I think that that was what the greatest part of
this whole experience, that.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
You went second.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
It was your ma'am.
Speaker 4 (43:04):
It was And I just want to say that when
I do say what I did.
Speaker 5 (43:08):
I would just like it to be a to be
continued because.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
It's a whole other topic and definitely not in the
space of the beautiful, holy richness that Agia had experienced.
But it is something that doesn't need to be verst about.
So I'm so serious setting you off.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I said the word, to say the word, I'll cut
you off. I'll get you say the word. You'll say,
I say you respect.
Speaker 5 (43:35):
Yes, I just heard about that. Yes, okay, respect, ma'am,
thank you, mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
This whole time, we've been three different people, this whole time,
three different lives, sharing our lives with each other, this
whole thing. Yes, this, this whole ship. Every single one
of us has added to the stew that is us.
Speaker 5 (43:59):
Yes, that's true, and about I will add, I will add.
But what I'm I guarantee.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
You I'm not saying this.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
I'm saying this is another conversation that we will all
want to have separate day. I will say the word,
and you will be like, and you will be like, okay,
like you're right to be continued sen the word perriman
boss baby.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
Actually, yeah, no, we can start it right now, ma'am.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
We can start it and continue, because yes, you.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Want to know what I've been doing. I've been sweating, bitch.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
I've been sweating, bitch.
Speaker 4 (44:38):
I would like to say it averages about two two
times an hour.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Okay, let me say I've been losing.
Speaker 5 (44:45):
I don't think I've.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Lost four pounds in water weight.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
I don't know if you really do on you list?
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Okay, and oh.
Speaker 5 (45:07):
Wait, what I tell y'all?
Speaker 4 (45:10):
The denial was so deep, the denial, I said.
Speaker 5 (45:12):
I sent the email to my doctor.
Speaker 4 (45:14):
I said, listen, you told me last year I wasn't perimenopausal.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
I took your.
Speaker 5 (45:18):
Word for a doctor.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
I said, but I've been sweating. I've been sweating.
Speaker 5 (45:22):
She emailed me back.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
She says, sound like I'm from Oh you know what
I mean. But I heard it. I had.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
I had an episode on First Wives Club.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
I'm on B E T.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
And show Time and oh.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Yes, my, my, my character Hazel had perimenopause. That was
the first time I heard of it. So I'm trying
to do I'm trying to do right. Okay, somebody going in, Jill,
I don't know, but yeah, so okay, so that's what
I was doing as well.
Speaker 4 (46:08):
So yeah, what I do know is, Jill, is that
my birthday was in January and the last time I
was on my period.
Speaker 5 (46:16):
Was in February.
Speaker 4 (46:17):
So it's literally like and I should as in this
today of this recording people it's apral, So it's literally
like I turn fast, I turned the faux five and
my body went, yes, bitch, you turned the faux five.
Changes are coming, and so that's it's been an interesting
ride and so lately a lot of people, even from
(46:39):
Oprah to Drew Barrymore. I'm very exciting you guys because
much like.
Speaker 5 (46:43):
The period, I do believe Perry, menopause is going to
be the next thing that women are really talking about.
Speaker 3 (46:49):
Because you know it can last, it can last for
a while.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Because you might actually get a period again this year,
but they're saying that you're not.
Speaker 3 (46:58):
Actually Minopause is not over.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Until you haven't had a period for a full year,
so you can go back and forth.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
I think I've been in perimenopause since I was thirty three, So.
Speaker 4 (47:09):
I thought so too, Jill, because I was sweat quite often.
Is that why you talk so too? Just because it
was a square of other reasons.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
I don't get cycles. I didn't get cycles for a long, long,
long time long.
Speaker 4 (47:18):
It's interesting because and the thing about the Perry is
it's like you can still get get Some babies are
made in this process because you don't know when your
period is coming and whatnot, so you don't know when.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
I never have not the whole time, the whole time.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
So I literally think I've been perimenopausal since I got
my period back when I was thirty three. It stopped
when I was fourteen and a half and didn't come
back until I was thirty three.
Speaker 4 (47:47):
But see, yeah, because you already had things, but you
didn't have anything else but.
Speaker 3 (47:50):
That I had things things.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
No, that's I had asked God to take it away
because I was like, this hurts and I don't like
I don't like how it smells. I don't like this business.
I don't like none of this and it hurts, sound hurts,
Like take this away from me and bring it back
when you're ready for me to have a baby.
Speaker 5 (48:07):
Don't even get me sweat about that.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
I don't. I don't know it went on that, it
went away for years. It was a it was beautiful.
I mean I didn't think it was beautiful at the time,
but it went away from fourteen and a half to
thirty three, And interestingly enough, the night that it came back,
I was in London and I got I opened my
(48:30):
email and it said that I was officially divorced, and
I cried like a baby and I got my mother,
fucking wow wow.
Speaker 4 (48:42):
And then it just stayed with you, and it just
stayed every mom I love that shit.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
And then I then I had a period, and then
later I had a baby.
Speaker 4 (48:52):
Yeah, said yeah, you might be unicorn.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
On and then and then even now it comes and
then sometimes.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
I mean, I don't think.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
I mean, it's not really a common thing, but it
may be more common than we think.
Speaker 3 (49:05):
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
I don't think that that's specifically common, but it's more
common than you think. I think people don't talk enough
about that.
Speaker 3 (49:10):
Women.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
Many women at their regular periods their whole life, and
many women have always had it irregular period.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
Some people have a period.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
And don't have it for months and months and months
and months, and that all think. So I think that
happens way more often than we probably talk about. I
think we don't know a lot about women's cycles, and
I think there's so little researching.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
We're just starting. It's probably why. As soon as forty
five came, all of a sudden, I had a whole
bunch of hairs on my chin, and I was like,
who are you?
Speaker 3 (49:40):
Who is this man laying across my tin upside down?
Speaker 2 (49:44):
Like what is going on?
Speaker 1 (49:46):
I had a little I had a little one too.
I got a little a little tinly regularly little one
little hair too. I was she was, she was cracking
me up. I said, oh, I'm a pull you sis.
I don't care what they say. They say three more
grow back.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
But I think that's a part of this whole perimental
pause thing that I've been here ever since I was
thirty three. I didn't diagnose myself. Okay, now I just
don't sweat yet, bless you.
Speaker 5 (50:08):
Darling, because the sweating is like this next level, And.
Speaker 4 (50:13):
I think the main reason we need to talk about
it more is so that you can feel comfortable in
your sweat, so that people around you don't feel uncomfortable,
so that you because it's really a moment of like uncontrolled, it's.
Speaker 5 (50:23):
Something that you really can't control.
Speaker 4 (50:25):
And then after you sweat, then comes the cold because
guess what now you wet? Oh, it's a And I
realized it's also payback because my mom reminded me. She said,
you know, and there's a thing where people say you
should add you know, you should find out what your
mother's menopause story is because that yours will probably mimic it, which.
Speaker 5 (50:42):
My mom says to me.
Speaker 4 (50:43):
Things started forty five, she said, But I also remember
my sweats and you being the one to be.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Like, Mammy, you need, you need, you need a towel.
Speaker 5 (50:49):
Mammy is sweating, Mammy, you need something, Mommy, mommy, and
I sold.
Speaker 4 (50:52):
Now I'm saying, is this the motherfucking payback as well?
Speaker 2 (50:57):
Am I? So?
Speaker 4 (50:58):
I just got me some uh it was called estivent people,
the holistic stuff that it may take twenty something days.
Speaker 3 (51:04):
Are you having any changes in like your mood or anything?
Is it just as small?
Speaker 5 (51:10):
Now?
Speaker 4 (51:12):
I'm hoping it's just a sweating y'all know, I'm like
super conscious of my moods, so I don't think so
I have to ask other people around here.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
Sorry, Now you remember how Deanna, the fantastic and amazing
Deanna Williams always carried a gorgeous fan.
Speaker 4 (51:29):
Now only do I have a class. But it's funny
you mentioned Deanna because she also reminded me.
Speaker 5 (51:32):
She said, do you remember when I was your age
and how I was a super bitch?
Speaker 4 (51:37):
And I said, Yo, it was like so many.
Speaker 2 (51:40):
Things came together.
Speaker 4 (51:42):
I was like, Yo, So now I'm real conscious because
and not just because of her, but.
Speaker 5 (51:46):
Because I heard these things. I just I cannot. I
can't become a super bitch. I don't even know what
that looks like with me, y'all.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
I'm scared of being real conscious of that, which is tiring.
Speaker 4 (52:00):
Because you're always checking yourself, checking your responses for you
say your responses, and then you start sweating because you
get nervous because.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
Okay, maybe we could rename bitch because it looked like
it's gonna be what it is.
Speaker 5 (52:15):
This is what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (52:17):
It looks like it's gonna be what it is.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
To deserve it, it's like, take that name off of
it and put something else, something you like, something that
makes sense for this, because you're not mean, You're not nasty.
Bitches are mean and nasty, and that ain't it. Ain't
give zero fucks about ship.
Speaker 5 (52:38):
That's not mean neither though, that's not me neither. So
that's like, that's it.
Speaker 4 (52:41):
That's it could I'm meditating more and often and whatnot.
That's what I'm trying my meditation.
Speaker 3 (52:52):
You're just more direct.
Speaker 5 (52:53):
If I don't know what this version is age, that's
what you know of me.
Speaker 3 (52:56):
You're like this new version.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
I think this new version a deeper voice. It's what
you know, what you know? Maybe maybe she jiggles a
little more. I don't know, she's a little bit this thing.
You know what I'm like, Maybe you defind this thing
(53:19):
instead of.
Speaker 5 (53:19):
As long as they don't dry up. As long as
they don't dry.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
Up behind the dry Thank you say it again, Jim. Watery, juicy,
juicy delivery, workful andful waterfall rainbow speaks.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
You speak moisture into your life, ma'am.
Speaker 5 (53:48):
A girl has a reputation.
Speaker 2 (53:50):
Oh now, a girl is news new, brand new.
Speaker 3 (53:58):
If you will.
Speaker 2 (54:00):
Transformed, what experiences?
Speaker 1 (54:02):
Oh my god, I'm trying to participant. Jill's better at this,
at this type of thing.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
You were, you were, you know the words. Sometimes sometimes girl,
we're doing good.
Speaker 3 (54:17):
We're doing good, We're doing good. Come on, you gotta.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
Feeling life to.
Speaker 3 (54:22):
Life, life into her life and to the peace we speaking.
Speaker 2 (54:28):
There ain't nobody to be pretending to be shipped staying
in the hot. I know it hasn't happened to me yet,
but I've been on stage and had water pouring down
my under my titties, okay, just all all in.
Speaker 3 (54:44):
My feet, just all of it.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
Just I've being on stage just the only thing I
could equate it to. And I was pregnant in but
Twana in the sun with a fat suit on.
Speaker 1 (54:56):
I've I've experienced the heat though, like the you have
the summers what they call personal person like, are you
having a personal summer?
Speaker 4 (55:07):
I hate when the elders ask who already been doing it,
like ten ten years before, you.
Speaker 5 (55:10):
Know, oh didd are you having a personal summer? But so, Asia,
You've been having some some personal summers. Does it start
from the head? Is your Does it start from the head?
Speaker 2 (55:20):
Is it?
Speaker 4 (55:21):
Because it usually minds it is from the head, which
is an interesting.
Speaker 3 (55:24):
It starts in my head.
Speaker 1 (55:26):
And definitely I felt like that that like I got
to kick all the covers off a night, like kick
everything off.
Speaker 3 (55:33):
Okay, I'm having that, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 4 (55:37):
You start when you start with one leg out and
then eventually it's just like and you start with pajamas
or maybe a nice night.
Speaker 5 (55:43):
Then you really start going, why am I wearing us?
Just wear you?
Speaker 2 (55:48):
Just wear your draw So far, just it's it's pajamas
with a gentle fan.
Speaker 3 (55:54):
I'm enjoying doing it this good.
Speaker 2 (55:58):
I'm enjoying fabrics them to pajama and and and a fan,
a light fan.
Speaker 4 (56:08):
The window is open and the fan is on high, honey.
Speaker 5 (56:12):
And it is forty degrees outside around here. Wow.
Speaker 3 (56:17):
No, I was getting the little warm ups my homeboys.
Speaker 2 (56:20):
And he when he come home with his wife, he
got to put on the coat. Please.
Speaker 4 (56:33):
You know, that's why look shouts to the partners that
get it. I just want to say, min he he's
been real sweet and patient and sweet about it.
Speaker 1 (56:43):
So it's I mean, it's the reality of life, you know.
It's it's the thanks just what happens, you know, thank you.
Speaker 5 (56:52):
It is. But it's just one of the ones. We
don't really leave blessing it up about too much. We
haven't been thus far.
Speaker 3 (56:58):
We don't know a lot yet. We don't know a
lot about it. We don't.
Speaker 5 (57:02):
We thought I'm like I thought, I'm young.
Speaker 3 (57:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (57:04):
Everything that you've heard thus far today has been an
example of life. This thing we live in this thing
is and when we follow our paths in our wholeness
and our sincerity, the benefits what we reap is worth
(57:25):
the living in your sincerity.
Speaker 3 (57:28):
Come on, it's worth it.
Speaker 5 (57:30):
That's your mother in law. She been through what I've
been through, and then she.
Speaker 3 (57:38):
Preach child present.
Speaker 2 (57:42):
And Amen. Thank you so much for listening to j
dot L the podcast. Talk to you later. How do
you Eat an Elephant? One by time?
Speaker 8 (57:57):
Hey, y'all, it's Airnberg, the producer here.
Speaker 3 (58:00):
We missed y'all for real.
Speaker 8 (58:02):
We are so excited to be back and sharing this
podcast with you. This episode left me so inspired and
just just blessed. I want to leave you with a
couple resources from the things we talked about today. First up,
there is still a time to see Joe on tour.
I'll leave a link in the show notes for tickets.
(58:23):
And if you're interested in learning more about taking a
pilgrimage and planning your own, whether that's tied to a
certain faith or not, I want to leave you with
a resource from a website called a Sacred Journey. They
lay out all the things you need to consider when
thinking about taking a pilgrimage. In last but not least
did any of you relate to Laia's journey with perimenopause.
(58:43):
I am leaving you with an article from Nam's The
North American Menopause Society that literally breaks down menopause one
on one, what's happening to your body, what to expect
in perimenopause, what to expect in the full minopause transition.
Speaker 2 (58:59):
But we will have an.
Speaker 8 (59:00):
Episode later this season that dives deep into this topic.
Speaker 3 (59:04):
Take care, y'all.
Speaker 8 (59:05):
Tell all your friends that jedt L is back with
new episodes and I will see you here again next week.
Speaker 1 (59:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Hi.
Speaker 2 (59:24):
If you have comments on something we said in this
episode called eight six six, Hey, Jill, if you want
to add to this conversation, that's eight six six four.
Speaker 3 (59:35):
Three nine five four five five.
Speaker 2 (59:37):
Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode
you're referring to. You might just hear your message on
a future episode.
Speaker 8 (59:45):
Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot L.
Speaker 3 (59:49):
The podcast.
Speaker 2 (59:53):
Jay dot IL is a production of iHeartRadio. For more
podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the eye Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com