April 30, 2025 • 12 mins
She who makes the gold makes the rules—Just ask Jennifer Aniston. PS: Please find out if Jennifer used to hang out at Soup Plantation!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Another thing about work.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Partnerships, lawyers, agents, real estate agents, contractors, designers, construction, admit
what you don't know. I run into so many business
problems because people are so either insecure or paranoid or
think they're going to get fired or in fear and
have to prove that they know everything, that they act
(00:39):
like they know everything, like you're doing a deal and
they just have answers for everything. You're doing this, and
they have answers for everything. You're traveling somewhere. They have
to act like they know everything. You're designing something. Nobody
knows everything, and don't ever assume anyone's smarter than you.
And I like to be surrounded by people, whether it's
the president of my company, an agent or representative, a doctor,
that will say what they don't know. Of course they
(00:59):
should know many things, but they will say what they
don't know. A lawyer like I, listen, I haven't seen
this before. We will figure it out together. I don't
exactly understand this, what do you think? Or let's all
crowdsource and I'll be then we can have a workshop
and talk about it. Because most times I'll be like, right, listen,
I'm gonna call three people, and it could literally be
I'm calling Mark Cuban, I'm calling this big powerhouse, I'm
(01:19):
calling Steve Cohen, I'm calling you know some of my
powerhouse women that I know, and I'm gonna ask and
I'm in a crowdsource and I'll get back to you
and we're gonna figure it out. Or I'm gonna call
this lawyer, or I'm gonna call this class action lawyer,
or i'm gonna call this one. I'm gonna call this
intellectual property. I'll fucking figure it out. If you don't know,
you better act somebody, Okay, do not act like you
know everything. It's immature, it's insecure, and it's for losers.
(01:44):
And as we get into dating sometimes this guy was
this guy on social who gives dating advice. He basically
text his own back immediately and said like, I'm not
gonna play games and I'm gonna text you back right
away because of blah blah blah. And I put in
his comments. I was like, dude, you don't need to
say all that. You need to be all that. Like
if someone texts you in a weird way and they
(02:04):
are not responsive or they seem like it could take
like twenty four hours, Like I had a guy that
had his cadences to text and then like you won't
hear from him again. You'll respond, you may not hear
from him for twenty four hours, could be eight hours,
could be the next day, and they'll be like, oh, hey, sorry,
was that my kids?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Whatever?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
It's like, really, you don't have fingers. You're a successful person.
I know how successful youyre, because it wouldn't be fucking
going out with you if you weren't successful. But you
don't have fingers in a telephone. Like fuck, you're a
fucking loser.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
So I don't care. I dismiss those people because they're
fucking losers.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
And I text back right away because I'm a grown
ass woman who text back right away. I'm not gonna
go if you go jump off a bridge, I'm not
jumping off if you go after a moron, I'm not
acting like a moron. A text right away because I'm
secure and I'm a grown ass woman, and obviously we'll
get to where we need to get to. Meaning if
I text right away and you go every time four days,
you're never gonna hear from me again anyway.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
And I'm like, yeah, anybody got time for this. I'm not.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
And again this is because this person is used to
dealing with thirty five year olds. We've talked about that before.
So here's what goes on with the thirty five year
old or the young women. And here's what goes on
why women need to work for their own money. Why
you need to have financial independence. I don't give a
shit about any of you that are going to be
like it's a valuable job to be a stay at
(03:16):
home mom, because it is.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I know that. I agree with that. It's not just
a lie.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
It is harder to be a mom and manage multiple
children than it is to work and be an entrepreneur.
I know all that. All this is true. It is gnarly,
it is hardcore. It is a dance. It is organizational hell.
It is insufferable. It's very difficult to run a household,
to cook, to clean, to have children, to do the costumes,
(03:41):
to do it all, to be a wife, to have
sex look good, asked and answered. And it's not just
a pat like bullshit check the box thing.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I know that. Here's what I also know.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Women need to be financially independent so they have options.
Something goes sideway. Someone dies as you were married to
was lying to you about your finances, or you're just
not good at them and you didn't understand them. Somebody
loses their jobs, someone gets hit by a car, something happens,
God forbid, there's a medical issue, and you guys need fine,
you need money, and it's not enough because you weren't
(04:14):
planning for this. Something happens, somebody gets arrested. You need
to defend them. Things happen in life that costs money
that you didn't plan for. If I've done ten renovations
and I know that every single one had unforeseen costs
in something that was locked in life has unforseeable costs,
So you must plan for a disaster.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
But guess what else? Guess what else?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
If you're dating and you don't have money, and you
see the shiny objects and you hear about a great guy.
He's super rich, he's a prince, he's a mogul, he's
a finance guy.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
He's just rich. He's a doctor, he's got a nice car. Whatever.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
It changes the way you act when you feel like
they're running the show because they've got the money. Because
guess what, he or she who makes the gold makes
the rules. You gotta really understand this is for the
moms that have the young daughters, and this is for
the young daughters. He who makes the gold makes the rules.
And there's a dynamic because I see it all the
time with the girls, like panting and waiting around for
(05:14):
the gift. I just heard from someone the other day
that said, like the girl would like every time they
were going on a date, tell the guy to meet
her a store so he could buy her stuff. Like
girls are like gasping and guess what else I've been
the girl, the broke girl hoping not only that someone
would pay the bill, that someone would buy me something.
I'm in a store, you're sort of hinting, you're sort
of hoping, you're sort of looking, and you feel like
(05:34):
a desperado. And they can feel it and they know it,
and it gives them the power. And then it gives
them the power in the dating dynamic. With the texting,
you're texting back more often and they don't have to
because they have the power. They're the ones running the show.
They can tell you to be ready in an hour
or tomorrow, or where they're going or where we're going
on vacation. Why because they run the fucking show, and
(05:55):
there's a power struggle, and it ends up being resentment
on all sides. The guy doesn't resent the girl because
he doesn't respect the fact that he just says, bark
and you bark, sit and you sit, run and you run.
And it also becomes boring because the guy wants somebody
to talk to. And if your whole identity is just
buying shit and you sit with the girls and talk
about recipes and shopping, it gets real boring, real fast.
(06:17):
So be a woman who has your own money, and
guess what, don't spend it. If you fucking think that
with any of the men that I date, I spend
money on the date or on the things, you're gravely mistaken.
But guess what, I don't need them for the things,
and I can buy anything I want. And because of that,
I don't want anything, because I know I can. Half
the thing is when you can't afford it, you kind
of want someone else to get it for you. When
(06:38):
you have the money and you can afford it, you
really don't give a shit. As I've said sixty five times,
I've gotten rid of like seventy percent of my stuff.
I buy shoes on fucking Amazon and then give them
to the person that's like you know, at the hotel
because I no longer need the flex of the super
expensive things to make me feel secure, So I definitely
don't need anybody else to buy me the shit. Once
you have your own money, you can afford it. You
(06:58):
calm down. It's like the money noise. It's like food noise,
but it's money noise. It calms down, takes a while,
but you have it. No One else is in control.
So when the rich guys that I am thinking off
the top of my head text me and they're big
baller shop callers, okay, could make your life. We're talking yachts, planes, trains, automobiles.
They will text and ask you something and then like
(07:20):
you won't hear from them for a day or two.
You'll be like, you're fucking in your mind. You're like
nobody can and they're in shock that I couldn't care less.
There's no like I'll give a one word answer because
I don't care. But I can tell you that if
I was thirty seven, broke and needed a guy for anything,
I would be panicked. I would have anxiety. I would
wonder why they're not texting me, I'd think, oh my god,
(07:42):
is this my Is this the one that's gonna take
care of me? Is this the one that's gonna save me? Well,
guess what, I saved myself. I don't need any of that.
So be that girl. And then if you decide you
want to stay at home, great, you have a skill set,
you have a nest egg, do whatever the fuck you want,
but have options. Options are always good on a menu
(08:04):
on a vacation, for business and for your financial security.
So I was the other day waking up and I
(08:26):
was thinking about Jennifer Aniston. There's no reason why I
was thinking about Jennifer Aniston, and how I don't know her.
I met her once for one second. She's successful, she's
an actress. She was married to Brad Pitt. She has
had an extraordinary career in the sense that she is
exceptionally famous and more than other people, not unlike me,
(08:49):
actually in ways more than other people. On her show,
which was an iconic show, but it was still the
one show, and she hasn't had anything else be as
iconic as that show. But like she's the one, it's
more well known, and she's Jennifer Anniston, it's just she's
an A list star, and she's gotten to be an
a list star by wearing her hat the same way
every single time and this strapless sheath dress and she's
(09:11):
got her own just like way about her. And she
has been in relationships and married and never had a
kid and is not married and is about my age.
I remember once seeing her as a struggling actress before
she was famous at Sue Plantation. If I ever run
into her, I'm going to just say, will you can someone?
Just can the internet just ask her? Did she use
(09:32):
to go to sup Plantation? Because I'm pretty sure it
was her, And she had a look like she looked
like a Hollywood actress before she was, and I always
remembered her, and like later when she became her, I
was like, I think I used to see that girl
at supe Plantation. I just need someone to ask her.
So I wonder if the Internet tries to impose on No,
(09:53):
I don't wonder. I know like she probably got to
a point in her life where she was like, I
don't think I want this anymore. If she wanted to
have kids, she could have had a kid on her own.
She didn't want to have a kid, she didn't want
to be married. And I'm finding that there are so
many women my age who it's not that they can't,
they don't want to, and society for different reasons. They're younger,
(10:15):
they don't know like, oh wow, it's weird, weird she
never had a kid, weird she never got married. It's
not weird, it's what she wanted. And also, like or
people her own age that are married, they either are
so happy they can't imagine she doesn't want what they have,
they're so bored they want company, or they're miserable and
(10:35):
they just like want to act like it's the only
thing going. And I'm not saying she's happy, and I'm
not saying she's unhappy. I'm just saying for some reason,
she came up as someone who's done it her way,
and I know that she could have gotten married and
could have had a kid. And the headline is that
like the world and the internet imposes what they think.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
People should have to be happy.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
And I think, I bet she just is living the
life that she wants to live. And they are women
that I meet my age all the time that are like,
I don't want someone fucking with my peace, like I
don't want it. It's very popular for everyone to impose
what they think we should want. I'm not there yet.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I'm not saying I don't want it, but the thought
has occurred to me. The thought has occurred to me.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Like I find myself now in the ozembic of dating,
where it's like I don't know the appaths, I don't care. Yes,
I went out with a really nice guy on Friday, successful,
beyond your wildest dreams, tall, funny, nice whatever. Has text
he wants to get together again, but he's not frothing,
just like a normal text exchange. And to say that
I'm not frothing, I've finally gotten to the anti frothing stage.
(11:46):
I don't really care. I don't even really care if
I like you do, I not care. Like the days
of like getting fixated, obsessed, like And that's the thing
that's where a lot of people are our age.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
And so if there's there are women who are dating.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
People my age, ish, you gotta know that the person
my age doesn't really give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
They really don't. They just don't give a fuck,
Another thing about work.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Partnerships, lawyers, agents, real estate agents, contractors, designers, construction, admit
what you don't know. I run into so many business
problems because people are so either insecure or paranoid or
think they're going to get fired or in fear and
have to prove that they know everything, that they act
(00:39):
like they know everything, like you're doing a deal and
they just have answers for everything. You're doing this, and
they have answers for everything. You're traveling somewhere. They have
to act like they know everything. You're designing something. Nobody
knows everything, and don't ever assume anyone's smarter than you.
And I like to be surrounded by people, whether it's
the president of my company, an agent or representative, a doctor,
that will say what they don't know. Of course they
(00:59):
should know many things, but they will say what they
don't know. A lawyer like I, listen, I haven't seen
this before. We will figure it out together. I don't
exactly understand this, what do you think? Or let's all
crowdsource and I'll be then we can have a workshop
and talk about it. Because most times I'll be like, right, listen,
I'm gonna call three people, and it could literally be
I'm calling Mark Cuban, I'm calling this big powerhouse, I'm
(01:19):
calling Steve Cohen, I'm calling you know some of my
powerhouse women that I know, and I'm gonna ask and
I'm in a crowdsource and I'll get back to you
and we're gonna figure it out. Or I'm gonna call
this lawyer, or I'm gonna call this class action lawyer,
or i'm gonna call this one. I'm gonna call this
intellectual property. I'll fucking figure it out. If you don't know,
you better act somebody, Okay, do not act like you
know everything. It's immature, it's insecure, and it's for losers.
(01:44):
And as we get into dating sometimes this guy was
this guy on social who gives dating advice. He basically
text his own back immediately and said like, I'm not
gonna play games and I'm gonna text you back right
away because of blah blah blah. And I put in
his comments. I was like, dude, you don't need to
say all that. You need to be all that. Like
if someone texts you in a weird way and they
(02:04):
are not responsive or they seem like it could take
like twenty four hours, Like I had a guy that
had his cadences to text and then like you won't
hear from him again. You'll respond, you may not hear
from him for twenty four hours, could be eight hours,
could be the next day, and they'll be like, oh, hey, sorry,
was that my kids?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Whatever?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
It's like, really, you don't have fingers. You're a successful person.
I know how successful youyre, because it wouldn't be fucking
going out with you if you weren't successful. But you
don't have fingers in a telephone. Like fuck, you're a
fucking loser.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
So I don't care. I dismiss those people because they're
fucking losers.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
And I text back right away because I'm a grown
ass woman who text back right away. I'm not gonna
go if you go jump off a bridge, I'm not
jumping off if you go after a moron, I'm not
acting like a moron. A text right away because I'm
secure and I'm a grown ass woman, and obviously we'll
get to where we need to get to. Meaning if
I text right away and you go every time four days,
you're never gonna hear from me again anyway.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
And I'm like, yeah, anybody got time for this. I'm not.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
And again this is because this person is used to
dealing with thirty five year olds. We've talked about that before.
So here's what goes on with the thirty five year
old or the young women. And here's what goes on
why women need to work for their own money. Why
you need to have financial independence. I don't give a
shit about any of you that are going to be
like it's a valuable job to be a stay at
(03:16):
home mom, because it is.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
I know that. I agree with that. It's not just
a lie.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
It is harder to be a mom and manage multiple
children than it is to work and be an entrepreneur.
I know all that. All this is true. It is gnarly,
it is hardcore. It is a dance. It is organizational hell.
It is insufferable. It's very difficult to run a household,
to cook, to clean, to have children, to do the costumes,
(03:41):
to do it all, to be a wife, to have
sex look good, asked and answered. And it's not just
a pat like bullshit check the box thing.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I know that. Here's what I also know.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Women need to be financially independent so they have options.
Something goes sideway. Someone dies as you were married to
was lying to you about your finances, or you're just
not good at them and you didn't understand them. Somebody
loses their jobs, someone gets hit by a car, something happens,
God forbid, there's a medical issue, and you guys need fine,
you need money, and it's not enough because you weren't
(04:14):
planning for this. Something happens, somebody gets arrested. You need
to defend them. Things happen in life that costs money
that you didn't plan for. If I've done ten renovations
and I know that every single one had unforeseen costs
in something that was locked in life has unforseeable costs,
So you must plan for a disaster.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
But guess what else? Guess what else?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
If you're dating and you don't have money, and you
see the shiny objects and you hear about a great guy.
He's super rich, he's a prince, he's a mogul, he's
a finance guy.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
He's just rich. He's a doctor, he's got a nice car. Whatever.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
It changes the way you act when you feel like
they're running the show because they've got the money. Because
guess what, he or she who makes the gold makes
the rules. You gotta really understand this is for the
moms that have the young daughters, and this is for
the young daughters. He who makes the gold makes the rules.
And there's a dynamic because I see it all the
time with the girls, like panting and waiting around for
(05:14):
the gift. I just heard from someone the other day
that said, like the girl would like every time they
were going on a date, tell the guy to meet
her a store so he could buy her stuff. Like
girls are like gasping and guess what else I've been
the girl, the broke girl hoping not only that someone
would pay the bill, that someone would buy me something.
I'm in a store, you're sort of hinting, you're sort
of hoping, you're sort of looking, and you feel like
(05:34):
a desperado. And they can feel it and they know it,
and it gives them the power. And then it gives
them the power in the dating dynamic. With the texting,
you're texting back more often and they don't have to
because they have the power. They're the ones running the show.
They can tell you to be ready in an hour
or tomorrow, or where they're going or where we're going
on vacation. Why because they run the fucking show, and
(05:55):
there's a power struggle, and it ends up being resentment
on all sides. The guy doesn't resent the girl because
he doesn't respect the fact that he just says, bark
and you bark, sit and you sit, run and you run.
And it also becomes boring because the guy wants somebody
to talk to. And if your whole identity is just
buying shit and you sit with the girls and talk
about recipes and shopping, it gets real boring, real fast.
(06:17):
So be a woman who has your own money, and
guess what, don't spend it. If you fucking think that
with any of the men that I date, I spend
money on the date or on the things, you're gravely mistaken.
But guess what, I don't need them for the things,
and I can buy anything I want. And because of that,
I don't want anything, because I know I can. Half
the thing is when you can't afford it, you kind
of want someone else to get it for you. When
(06:38):
you have the money and you can afford it, you
really don't give a shit. As I've said sixty five times,
I've gotten rid of like seventy percent of my stuff.
I buy shoes on fucking Amazon and then give them
to the person that's like you know, at the hotel
because I no longer need the flex of the super
expensive things to make me feel secure, So I definitely
don't need anybody else to buy me the shit. Once
you have your own money, you can afford it. You
(06:58):
calm down. It's like the money noise. It's like food noise,
but it's money noise. It calms down, takes a while,
but you have it. No One else is in control.
So when the rich guys that I am thinking off
the top of my head text me and they're big
baller shop callers, okay, could make your life. We're talking yachts, planes, trains, automobiles.
They will text and ask you something and then like
(07:20):
you won't hear from them for a day or two.
You'll be like, you're fucking in your mind. You're like
nobody can and they're in shock that I couldn't care less.
There's no like I'll give a one word answer because
I don't care. But I can tell you that if
I was thirty seven, broke and needed a guy for anything,
I would be panicked. I would have anxiety. I would
wonder why they're not texting me, I'd think, oh my god,
(07:42):
is this my Is this the one that's gonna take
care of me? Is this the one that's gonna save me? Well,
guess what, I saved myself. I don't need any of that.
So be that girl. And then if you decide you
want to stay at home, great, you have a skill set,
you have a nest egg, do whatever the fuck you want,
but have options. Options are always good on a menu
(08:04):
on a vacation, for business and for your financial security.
So I was the other day waking up and I
(08:26):
was thinking about Jennifer Aniston. There's no reason why I
was thinking about Jennifer Aniston, and how I don't know her.
I met her once for one second. She's successful, she's
an actress. She was married to Brad Pitt. She has
had an extraordinary career in the sense that she is
exceptionally famous and more than other people, not unlike me,
(08:49):
actually in ways more than other people. On her show,
which was an iconic show, but it was still the
one show, and she hasn't had anything else be as
iconic as that show. But like she's the one, it's
more well known, and she's Jennifer Anniston, it's just she's
an A list star, and she's gotten to be an
a list star by wearing her hat the same way
every single time and this strapless sheath dress and she's
(09:11):
got her own just like way about her. And she
has been in relationships and married and never had a
kid and is not married and is about my age.
I remember once seeing her as a struggling actress before
she was famous at Sue Plantation. If I ever run
into her, I'm going to just say, will you can someone?
Just can the internet just ask her? Did she use
(09:32):
to go to sup Plantation? Because I'm pretty sure it
was her, And she had a look like she looked
like a Hollywood actress before she was, and I always
remembered her, and like later when she became her, I
was like, I think I used to see that girl
at supe Plantation. I just need someone to ask her.
So I wonder if the Internet tries to impose on No,
(09:53):
I don't wonder. I know like she probably got to
a point in her life where she was like, I
don't think I want this anymore. If she wanted to
have kids, she could have had a kid on her own.
She didn't want to have a kid, she didn't want
to be married. And I'm finding that there are so
many women my age who it's not that they can't,
they don't want to, and society for different reasons. They're younger,
(10:15):
they don't know like, oh wow, it's weird, weird she
never had a kid, weird she never got married. It's
not weird, it's what she wanted. And also, like or
people her own age that are married, they either are
so happy they can't imagine she doesn't want what they have,
they're so bored they want company, or they're miserable and
(10:35):
they just like want to act like it's the only
thing going. And I'm not saying she's happy, and I'm
not saying she's unhappy. I'm just saying for some reason,
she came up as someone who's done it her way,
and I know that she could have gotten married and
could have had a kid. And the headline is that
like the world and the internet imposes what they think.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
People should have to be happy.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
And I think, I bet she just is living the
life that she wants to live. And they are women
that I meet my age all the time that are like,
I don't want someone fucking with my peace, like I
don't want it. It's very popular for everyone to impose
what they think we should want. I'm not there yet.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I'm not saying I don't want it, but the thought
has occurred to me. The thought has occurred to me.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Like I find myself now in the ozembic of dating,
where it's like I don't know the appaths, I don't care. Yes,
I went out with a really nice guy on Friday, successful,
beyond your wildest dreams, tall, funny, nice whatever. Has text
he wants to get together again, but he's not frothing,
just like a normal text exchange. And to say that
I'm not frothing, I've finally gotten to the anti frothing stage.
(11:46):
I don't really care. I don't even really care if
I like you do, I not care. Like the days
of like getting fixated, obsessed, like And that's the thing
that's where a lot of people are our age.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
And so if there's there are women who are dating.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
People my age, ish, you gotta know that the person
my age doesn't really give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
They really don't. They just don't give a fuck,
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!