September 24, 2025 • 19 mins
I have prerequisites for my dates. But you need to worry about yours. PLUS: Tongue scrapers and hand weights.
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
So we got some questions from you guys.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
This is kind of about dating and relationships. First of all,
I just want to say that I believe in the
catch and release program. So I had a perfect date.
I posted about it on social media. I had the
best time. I drank, I danced, I talked. The guy
was great, we spent time together. I will always protect
(00:34):
the privacy of all of these people. And sometimes you'll
think you know who it is, but you don't. It
might be a little bit out of order. No matter what,
I'm always going to protect the privacy of anyone that
I'm dating like that would be a disaster for me.
And I just wouldn't do that to anyone. Okay, even
if they were a total dick, I wouldn't do it.
So I had a wonderful, wonderful time and met a
(00:56):
really nice, interesting man. Does that mean that we are
getting married and spending the rest of our lives together.
Absolutely not. It doesn't mean that right, doesn't mean that
we're not. No, But in this case, we're not because
this person just is not my person. I have my
own reasons that I won't share why this person is
not my person. It could be geography, it could be
(01:18):
number of kids, It could be religion, politics, height, sexual connection,
like whatever it is. It's like, how many people in
your life have you found that are the right person?
So if I go on one amazing date, it doesn't
mean we're spending the rest of our lives together. So
what do we do next? What we do next is
we try to just gently say this might not be
(01:39):
the right fit and for these reasons, And if a
person really wants to meet someone, you then set them
up with someone else. You go take care of all
your women, your community, and you don't just like throw
the fish back. You think to yourself, Okay, this guy's
great in many ways, What am I gonna do? Women
have so much difficulty finding great guys. This guy seems great,
so I might as well introduce to someone else. It
(02:00):
keeps the blood flow going for everybody, It keeps it
moving forward. What if this guy has a guy to
set me up with, Like, let's keep this all moving.
That's what we need to do. Because women don't set
women up. They really really don't. And it's a dry
county they gatekeep for no reason. And I just think
you should share the wealth. You should think of other
(02:21):
women when you have someone and even if they don't
like you. Let's say they don't like you, you're upset
about it. You really liked them. What are you gonna do?
Be spiteful they didn't like you, That's okay, they might
be great.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Set him up with someone else. Whoever you set him
up with might set you up with someone. It's a
very good technique. Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
What if a man doesn't use a tongue scraper. One
of my closest friends for my entire adult life didn't
even know what a tongue scraper was.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
I gave her one that I had. Obviously it wasn't used.
I was like, are you unwell?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
You're one of those fucking animals I talk about on
social media that doesn't scrape your tongue. If a guy
doesn't scrape his tongue, many of us have been going
years without doing it. Not me, it's been easily two decades.
But I mean, a man should be scraping his tongue,
so you better show him how to do it. I mean,
you're not going to physically show him how to do it,
that's disgusto, but you better show them that it needs
to be done.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Is that a deal break or no. Most met are animals.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Are men scared of successful accomplished women not in the
traditional sense. They don't even know they are. And it
depends the level of accomplished. If a woman is more
relevant and more quote unquote accomplished than them and has
more going on, yes, it's not that they're threatened, they're
(03:44):
triggered by it. It makes them think about what they're
not doing. This is the crux of my problem. Why
I said relevant and more successful and having more things
going on, because someone could have more money than I do.
But if they're not as relevant and don't have as
much going on and don't have as many people that
need them to get things done, then they will be
(04:08):
intimidated on some underlying level. They don't think they are,
they don't know they are, but they are. Because I
have had too many times men feel a certain type
of way want to overcompensate. I'm over compensating for them.
It just feels awkward that I have more going on
and that I am more desired, meaning there'll be deals
(04:30):
to come in that people want to work with me.
There could be smart businessmen that I know that I
can bring them into the deals I have a guy
that is wealthy that I brought into a deal. It's
the number one thing on his resume that he was
part of an early investing in this because it's now
his street cred. Because this company wouldn't do it without me.
I was the one needed for this deal. That made
(04:51):
him feel marginalized because in order to get these kind
of deals he needed me. It was just a bad dynamic.
It happens a lot. It's like, whoever the end is
is that I'm doing the deal with, wants me. They're
just someone that I'm bringing in. It's happened with my
talk show. It's happened my whole life, my whole adult
business life. So you gotta know that very few men
(05:12):
are going to not feel that way, because men are
defined by what they do for a living, by what
they have going on, by their power, by their relevance,
by their influence. And why I say, like someone needs
you to be there. It's very specific. I was talking
to someone today who is I don't want to get
into details. They are in a relationship with someone who
(05:33):
is such. They're married to someone who is so rich
that it's unimaginable. Okay, but they themselves don't have their
own identity. They're the plus one no matter what, no
matter how rich they are, they're not the one that
the person is calling and needs, or whose opinion they want,
or like you got to be here on this time,
(05:53):
or like, they're not integral in any equation, and that
is very demoralized, is very marginalizing.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
It just doesn't make them feel good.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
And they need their own thing where it's like someone
needs them to get the thing done. They're completely relevant
and they're integral in the equation. You've got to really
think about the nuanced difference. And they don't always date
women half their age. Why does everyone just say that
it's such a cliche. They'll do it, they'll dip in.
They don't ultimately want that. I'm zero intimidated by someone
(06:25):
younger than I am.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
It's boring. I don't care like I'm.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
In my own stage, my own age, and men who
are smart and successful do not want someone who has
half the age and half the wisdom, and half the experience,
and half the cultural references and half the song references
as them. The guy who wants that you don't want.
The guy who wants the younger woman, you don't want.
We're not bitter about it. It's just that you don't
(06:50):
want that guy because he's kind of vapid. He doesn't
really get it, Like he's so insecure that he needs
to have like that shiny object that people are making
fun of him about. Like it's honestly not something to
worry about or think about.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
It really isn't.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I spend zero time thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
It's like a joke.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
It's like a cocktail party fodder. It's like a midlife crisis. Yeah,
five years whatever. And by the way, for women too,
a woman is with a man twenty years younger. It's
just like a little cringey. No one's jealous of that.
No one wants that a woman should want someone who
also is within their frame of reference. With exceptions. Yes,
everything has exceptions in both directions. But like it's just
(07:33):
you're paying on the way in or you're paying on
the way out. Someone's getting older. It's a fact. The
numbers don't lie. They're going to add up and matter later,
So pay on the way in or the way out.
I would rather be with a life partner that's closer
to my age later when it's going to matter. It's
not like when i'm young environment and want to have
(07:54):
fun that I'm worried about meeting someone young environment that
wants to have fun I'm worried about. We're all planning
for like when our kids are off, when we're stuck
with this person, going boating, sitting on a bench, eating
fucking saltines and soup, Like that's when we're kind of
gonna be worried about it. Like now I could do
everything I want. I get invited to everything, I can
(08:15):
go everywhere. I have money, I have influence, I have power,
I have fame. Like it's not really now, it's kind
of like life partner for later. I don't really want
to be like chewing up my husband's food and feeding
it to him. It's not that attractive to me, and
I don't think either. Why is it creepy for a
woman to date younger and it's not creepy for a man,
it's like all creepy. It's like it depends on how
(08:36):
much five years, six years, seven years, fine, fifteen, twenty years.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
It's like creepy across the board.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
It's not creepy for a man to date a woman's
seven years younger anymore than it is a woman in
both directions fifteen and twenty.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
It is a little creepy. It's something off. Something's off.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yes, there are exceptions, Okay, there are exceptions. Do I
have prerequisite? It's yeah. All I have are prerequisites for dating.
All I have are prerequisites, and I'm not settling on them.
I don't want to feel discomfort in my love life anymore.
(09:13):
I don't want to convince myself because I took myself
to the twenty first mile but fucking choked and got
scared and like, didn't go the whole way. I'm going
the whole way. If I don't love it, I don't
like it. If I don't know, yes, it's no, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
So.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
You can have whatever prerequisites you want to have. Where
do they live, how tall are they? How many kids
do they have?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
There will be some sacrifices, but you'll be willing to
make them because it's just not going to be important.
You know what your prerequisites are. Mine do not matter
to you. Mine don't. Mine are different than yours, which
is why if there's a man that isn't right for me,
he might be right for you.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Maybe.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yeah, there's a thousand things. Maybe he lives too far.
Maybe you want that. You like that you have a
kid who's a professional athlete and you have to go
to different hockey and like, you don't want someone who
wants you full time. Maybe you like short kings, Like,
don't worry about my prerequisit's worry about yours view on
(10:21):
the man being the provider. Yeah, I dig that a lot.
It's a prerequisite. Thanks for asking. It's a full prerequisite.
I don't need it. It's what I want. Man is
the provider. Man pays, man buys. I don't go into
a store with a man and I'm going to pay
for myself. It's awkward. I could buy anything I want
(10:43):
in any store. I could buy the store. It doesn't
mean I want to stand in a store and have
a man next to me allow me to pay for
like a floral dress on a vacation. It's going to
make me feel like a man, and I'm not gonna
like it, or I'm gonna feel like I'm uncomfortable going
into a store when I'm on vacation with the guy.
And then I'm like closet buying because I don't want
to go in with them. Make them feel uncomfortable. I
don't want that feeling at all. I don't want it.
(11:04):
It'd rather be alone. In dating, a picture is not
worth a thousand words. They're not accurate. It's not that
someone's unattractive compared to their picture. It's that it's a
fucking picture. It's not a person. I have had like
such an idea of what the person's going to be
like from the picture, and then I meet them.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
They are completely different.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
It's their being, So it kind of doesn't really totally matter.
Someone can't be a turnoff in the picture because you're
starting off bad and everybody looks like the worst picture
in the shuffle. But they're not a living, breathing human being.
It's the same amount of influence as a resume. We
kind of look at it for a phone number and
(11:45):
to get an understanding of what someone's into, but like,
it is not indicative of how they are as an
employee anymore than a picture is indicative of what someone's
like as a date. It's a living, breathing human being.
You need to sit down next to them, and also
the first minute will seem awkward and uncomfortable. The first
five minutes, ten minutes someone can blossom into something else.
(12:05):
You've got to be open. It's another living, breathing human
being who could be nervous, who could be having a
bad day, who could be moody, who could be shy.
Like a picture is not worth a thousand words, a
picture is worth very few words. There are men at
(12:27):
a certain age who really want to meet someone. Their
goal is to meet someone, and the other myth is
that there are no good men out there.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
There are many good men out there.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I could tell you there are many good men out
there at something women like to say because the model
is broken, the way in which people are and aren't
meeting people is broken.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I say this with emphasis.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
There is a small group of people I have been
trying out this concept with. They are all floored, mesmerized
in shock. They can't believe how well this model works.
They are under nda. They won't not say anything. It's confidential.
But I'm going to talk to the big guns because
I have a dating concept that is so spectacular. I
have more investors than I need. I just have to
(13:11):
decide how I'm going to do it. Think about my
band with where I'm going to do it, When I'm
going to do it and with whom I'm going to
do it. So I am going to revolutionize the dating
space if I decide to do this. It's really a
bandwidth thing, but at the very least, I'm revolutionizing it
for people that I know, which doesn't help many of you.
(13:32):
And I'm sorry, but it actually could help many of you.
If I decide I'm not going to do the idea,
you'll be able to do it yourself too. It's a
whole thing, okay. So I'm very excited and in this
process I'm learning so much that reinforces everything about the
bread crumb guys. Like if a guy's bread crumbing, you
fire him immediately. You are interviewing for the greatest position
(13:55):
in the world, which is to be your life partner.
It's like a partner in your business, but it's just
your personal business. If someone is breadcrumbing, fire them. If
they are love bombing and you like it, then take it.
If they are love bombing and you don't like it
and they don't see that, fire them. If they've been
texting you for a long period of time and have
not called you, fire them or correct it. If there
(14:18):
is something in the beginning that you see there's a
red flag. Flag it, flag it, flag it. Matchmakers always
say you need to lean into your feminine side and
be there, and they don't want you to say what
you feel with the guy I found. The least interested
party always wins. Say it, say what it is, say
the problem.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Cut bait.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
At a certain age, which many of you are, everybody
knows what they want. It's not insecure to say what
you want. It's insecure to be a beggar. It's insecure
to be a doormat. It's insecure to be desperate. It's
insecure to be blood in the water. It's not insecure.
Someone said to me, why did you re you know,
rematch me? Are you just rematching all your old flames?
I was like, no, I don't believe in long distance
(14:57):
relationships anymore.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
I've done them.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
I hadn't moved to where i'd be living, and I
believe in intention.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
So now I'm ready. Like you could say I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Now, you don't have to say on the first date,
I want to have a baby and I want to
get engaged by June. But you could say I'm dating
with intention. I'm dating with intention, meaning if someone doesn't
isn't the right religion, if they don't have the money
you want, if they don't have the job you want,
if they don't live where you want, cut bait.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
There's no reason to waste time.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
There's no reason why, like a hord a guy that
could be someone else's. It's a big sea, it's a
big ocean. There are many fish in there. You just
have to know how to look. It's like you're going
to a mall. You can wander around aimlessly, or you
could be focused with a list ahead of time of
what exactly you need to get. When you get there,
they may not have everything. Then you weigh the puzzle out.
(15:47):
Is the person a little younger than you thought, but
a little better looking than you thought. Is the person
a little older than you wanted, but a little richer
than you thought? Are they not geographically desirable but not
too far? But they're super funny? Like you find your puzzle,
but you have to have the baseline. So you might
go into the mall thinking you want to get yourself
(16:07):
a cream colored dress. You might walk out with tan
you know, like you decide, but don't gaslight yourself. The
sooner you get out of something bad or don't settle
for something that you don't love. The sooner you'll be
in the right thing. And I'm finding that definitely, women
and men of a certain age, they are all there.
(16:29):
All men are not dating younger women. All older women
can't not get a guy, Like all these things are bullshit.
Many older women are hot, Like it's real, it's not bullshit.
There is a seat for every ass that wants to
find a seat. That's what I'm finding. So I got
you guys.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
This is just random.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
But like, critics were criticizing Megan Trainer about her glow
up and she looks unrecognizable.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Who cares?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
She looks great, she's beautiful, she's talented, she's gone viral.
Why do people have to still pin Kim Kardashian into
a sex tape? Has she not proven herself? Why do
people still have to pin me into the first season
of Housewives? Have I not proven myself? Like?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Stop?
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Why do people have to talk about people's failures fifteen
years ago or bad decisions or things they said on
social media or on Twitter? Can we not be unshackled
from things we've done years ago? I mean, do you
have to worry about the bunch of one night stands
you had in college as a fifty year old woman,
Like there should be no bringing up and like character
(17:38):
assassinating people for things they did years ago. Nick Cannon
was out recently talking about the mistakes he's made and
why you have so many children, Like, okay, we are
where we are now. Kim Kardashian is a successful billionaire.
You know, I was on a Housewives screaming at people
to make a buck, like turn us loose, Turn everyone loose,
turn the hoe, and you are called to sack loose.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
She's a good woman.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Now turn the player dog who cheated on his girlfriend
or even wife twenty years ago, loose. If he's changed.
Everyone gets to have a second chance if they want it.
It's ridiculous. I'm trying to really try to think about weights.
(18:23):
I know I say this like a crazy person, but
like yesterday, I walked on the beach, which to me
is doing a triathlon, which to me is working out,
which to me is boot camp. But to everyone else
it's not working out. So I'm gonna try to get
into hand weights because everyone's saying you must wait, train,
you must wait train. I thought yoga was your body
weight and that that was weight training, but I think
that's a scam. So today is the second day that
(18:45):
I get into hand weights and try to be a
workout person. I'm the type of person that like eases
into it. I break the seal and little by little
do a little more and then one day.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
I'm like, g I Jane.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I have to think about it for a while, then
one day decide to do it. Then if I do
it twice, that's like amazing. My next thing is like
trying to go to some workout classes. I keep talking
about it. I haven't done it, but going to walk
on the beach is my gateway drug to that.
So we got some questions from you guys.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
This is kind of about dating and relationships. First of all,
I just want to say that I believe in the
catch and release program. So I had a perfect date.
I posted about it on social media. I had the
best time. I drank, I danced, I talked. The guy
was great, we spent time together. I will always protect
(00:34):
the privacy of all of these people. And sometimes you'll
think you know who it is, but you don't. It
might be a little bit out of order. No matter what,
I'm always going to protect the privacy of anyone that
I'm dating like that would be a disaster for me.
And I just wouldn't do that to anyone. Okay, even
if they were a total dick, I wouldn't do it.
So I had a wonderful, wonderful time and met a
(00:56):
really nice, interesting man. Does that mean that we are
getting married and spending the rest of our lives together.
Absolutely not. It doesn't mean that right, doesn't mean that
we're not. No, But in this case, we're not because
this person just is not my person. I have my
own reasons that I won't share why this person is
not my person. It could be geography, it could be
(01:18):
number of kids, It could be religion, politics, height, sexual connection,
like whatever it is. It's like, how many people in
your life have you found that are the right person?
So if I go on one amazing date, it doesn't
mean we're spending the rest of our lives together. So
what do we do next? What we do next is
we try to just gently say this might not be
(01:39):
the right fit and for these reasons, And if a
person really wants to meet someone, you then set them
up with someone else. You go take care of all
your women, your community, and you don't just like throw
the fish back. You think to yourself, Okay, this guy's
great in many ways, What am I gonna do? Women
have so much difficulty finding great guys. This guy seems great,
so I might as well introduce to someone else. It
(02:00):
keeps the blood flow going for everybody, It keeps it
moving forward. What if this guy has a guy to
set me up with, Like, let's keep this all moving.
That's what we need to do. Because women don't set
women up. They really really don't. And it's a dry
county they gatekeep for no reason. And I just think
you should share the wealth. You should think of other
(02:21):
women when you have someone and even if they don't
like you. Let's say they don't like you, you're upset
about it. You really liked them. What are you gonna do?
Be spiteful they didn't like you, That's okay, they might
be great.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Set him up with someone else. Whoever you set him
up with might set you up with someone. It's a
very good technique. Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
What if a man doesn't use a tongue scraper. One
of my closest friends for my entire adult life didn't
even know what a tongue scraper was.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
I gave her one that I had. Obviously it wasn't used.
I was like, are you unwell?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
You're one of those fucking animals I talk about on
social media that doesn't scrape your tongue. If a guy
doesn't scrape his tongue, many of us have been going
years without doing it. Not me, it's been easily two decades.
But I mean, a man should be scraping his tongue,
so you better show him how to do it. I mean,
you're not going to physically show him how to do it,
that's disgusto, but you better show them that it needs
to be done.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Is that a deal break or no. Most met are animals.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Are men scared of successful accomplished women not in the
traditional sense. They don't even know they are. And it
depends the level of accomplished. If a woman is more
relevant and more quote unquote accomplished than them and has
more going on, yes, it's not that they're threatened, they're
(03:44):
triggered by it. It makes them think about what they're
not doing. This is the crux of my problem. Why
I said relevant and more successful and having more things
going on, because someone could have more money than I do.
But if they're not as relevant and don't have as
much going on and don't have as many people that
need them to get things done, then they will be
(04:08):
intimidated on some underlying level. They don't think they are,
they don't know they are, but they are. Because I
have had too many times men feel a certain type
of way want to overcompensate. I'm over compensating for them.
It just feels awkward that I have more going on
and that I am more desired, meaning there'll be deals
(04:30):
to come in that people want to work with me.
There could be smart businessmen that I know that I
can bring them into the deals I have a guy
that is wealthy that I brought into a deal. It's
the number one thing on his resume that he was
part of an early investing in this because it's now
his street cred. Because this company wouldn't do it without me.
I was the one needed for this deal. That made
(04:51):
him feel marginalized because in order to get these kind
of deals he needed me. It was just a bad dynamic.
It happens a lot. It's like, whoever the end is
is that I'm doing the deal with, wants me. They're
just someone that I'm bringing in. It's happened with my
talk show. It's happened my whole life, my whole adult
business life. So you gotta know that very few men
(05:12):
are going to not feel that way, because men are
defined by what they do for a living, by what
they have going on, by their power, by their relevance,
by their influence. And why I say, like someone needs
you to be there. It's very specific. I was talking
to someone today who is I don't want to get
into details. They are in a relationship with someone who
(05:33):
is such. They're married to someone who is so rich
that it's unimaginable. Okay, but they themselves don't have their
own identity. They're the plus one no matter what, no
matter how rich they are, they're not the one that
the person is calling and needs, or whose opinion they want,
or like you got to be here on this time,
(05:53):
or like, they're not integral in any equation, and that
is very demoralized, is very marginalizing.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
It just doesn't make them feel good.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
And they need their own thing where it's like someone
needs them to get the thing done. They're completely relevant
and they're integral in the equation. You've got to really
think about the nuanced difference. And they don't always date
women half their age. Why does everyone just say that
it's such a cliche. They'll do it, they'll dip in.
They don't ultimately want that. I'm zero intimidated by someone
(06:25):
younger than I am.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
It's boring. I don't care like I'm.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
In my own stage, my own age, and men who
are smart and successful do not want someone who has
half the age and half the wisdom, and half the experience,
and half the cultural references and half the song references
as them. The guy who wants that you don't want.
The guy who wants the younger woman, you don't want.
We're not bitter about it. It's just that you don't
(06:50):
want that guy because he's kind of vapid. He doesn't
really get it, Like he's so insecure that he needs
to have like that shiny object that people are making
fun of him about. Like it's honestly not something to
worry about or think about.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
It really isn't.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I spend zero time thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
It's like a joke.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
It's like a cocktail party fodder. It's like a midlife crisis. Yeah,
five years whatever. And by the way, for women too,
a woman is with a man twenty years younger. It's
just like a little cringey. No one's jealous of that.
No one wants that a woman should want someone who
also is within their frame of reference. With exceptions. Yes,
everything has exceptions in both directions. But like it's just
(07:33):
you're paying on the way in or you're paying on
the way out. Someone's getting older. It's a fact. The
numbers don't lie. They're going to add up and matter later,
So pay on the way in or the way out.
I would rather be with a life partner that's closer
to my age later when it's going to matter. It's
not like when i'm young environment and want to have
(07:54):
fun that I'm worried about meeting someone young environment that
wants to have fun I'm worried about. We're all planning
for like when our kids are off, when we're stuck
with this person, going boating, sitting on a bench, eating
fucking saltines and soup, Like that's when we're kind of
gonna be worried about it. Like now I could do
everything I want. I get invited to everything, I can
(08:15):
go everywhere. I have money, I have influence, I have power,
I have fame. Like it's not really now, it's kind
of like life partner for later. I don't really want
to be like chewing up my husband's food and feeding
it to him. It's not that attractive to me, and
I don't think either. Why is it creepy for a
woman to date younger and it's not creepy for a man,
it's like all creepy. It's like it depends on how
(08:36):
much five years, six years, seven years, fine, fifteen, twenty years.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
It's like creepy across the board.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
It's not creepy for a man to date a woman's
seven years younger anymore than it is a woman in
both directions fifteen and twenty.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
It is a little creepy. It's something off. Something's off.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yes, there are exceptions, Okay, there are exceptions. Do I
have prerequisite? It's yeah. All I have are prerequisites for dating.
All I have are prerequisites, and I'm not settling on them.
I don't want to feel discomfort in my love life anymore.
(09:13):
I don't want to convince myself because I took myself
to the twenty first mile but fucking choked and got
scared and like, didn't go the whole way. I'm going
the whole way. If I don't love it, I don't
like it. If I don't know, yes, it's no, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
So.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
You can have whatever prerequisites you want to have. Where
do they live, how tall are they? How many kids
do they have?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
There will be some sacrifices, but you'll be willing to
make them because it's just not going to be important.
You know what your prerequisites are. Mine do not matter
to you. Mine don't. Mine are different than yours, which
is why if there's a man that isn't right for me,
he might be right for you.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Maybe.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yeah, there's a thousand things. Maybe he lives too far.
Maybe you want that. You like that you have a
kid who's a professional athlete and you have to go
to different hockey and like, you don't want someone who
wants you full time. Maybe you like short kings, Like,
don't worry about my prerequisit's worry about yours view on
(10:21):
the man being the provider. Yeah, I dig that a lot.
It's a prerequisite. Thanks for asking. It's a full prerequisite.
I don't need it. It's what I want. Man is
the provider. Man pays, man buys. I don't go into
a store with a man and I'm going to pay
for myself. It's awkward. I could buy anything I want
(10:43):
in any store. I could buy the store. It doesn't
mean I want to stand in a store and have
a man next to me allow me to pay for
like a floral dress on a vacation. It's going to
make me feel like a man, and I'm not gonna
like it, or I'm gonna feel like I'm uncomfortable going
into a store when I'm on vacation with the guy.
And then I'm like closet buying because I don't want
to go in with them. Make them feel uncomfortable. I
don't want that feeling at all. I don't want it.
(11:04):
It'd rather be alone. In dating, a picture is not
worth a thousand words. They're not accurate. It's not that
someone's unattractive compared to their picture. It's that it's a
fucking picture. It's not a person. I have had like
such an idea of what the person's going to be
like from the picture, and then I meet them.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
They are completely different.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
It's their being, So it kind of doesn't really totally matter.
Someone can't be a turnoff in the picture because you're
starting off bad and everybody looks like the worst picture
in the shuffle. But they're not a living, breathing human being.
It's the same amount of influence as a resume. We
kind of look at it for a phone number and
(11:45):
to get an understanding of what someone's into, but like,
it is not indicative of how they are as an
employee anymore than a picture is indicative of what someone's
like as a date. It's a living, breathing human being.
You need to sit down next to them, and also
the first minute will seem awkward and uncomfortable. The first
five minutes, ten minutes someone can blossom into something else.
(12:05):
You've got to be open. It's another living, breathing human
being who could be nervous, who could be having a
bad day, who could be moody, who could be shy.
Like a picture is not worth a thousand words, a
picture is worth very few words. There are men at
(12:27):
a certain age who really want to meet someone. Their
goal is to meet someone, and the other myth is
that there are no good men out there.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
There are many good men out there.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I could tell you there are many good men out
there at something women like to say because the model
is broken, the way in which people are and aren't
meeting people is broken.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I say this with emphasis.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
There is a small group of people I have been
trying out this concept with. They are all floored, mesmerized
in shock. They can't believe how well this model works.
They are under nda. They won't not say anything. It's confidential.
But I'm going to talk to the big guns because
I have a dating concept that is so spectacular. I
have more investors than I need. I just have to
(13:11):
decide how I'm going to do it. Think about my
band with where I'm going to do it, When I'm
going to do it and with whom I'm going to
do it. So I am going to revolutionize the dating
space if I decide to do this. It's really a
bandwidth thing, but at the very least, I'm revolutionizing it
for people that I know, which doesn't help many of you.
(13:32):
And I'm sorry, but it actually could help many of you.
If I decide I'm not going to do the idea,
you'll be able to do it yourself too. It's a
whole thing, okay. So I'm very excited and in this
process I'm learning so much that reinforces everything about the
bread crumb guys. Like if a guy's bread crumbing, you
fire him immediately. You are interviewing for the greatest position
(13:55):
in the world, which is to be your life partner.
It's like a partner in your business, but it's just
your personal business. If someone is breadcrumbing, fire them. If
they are love bombing and you like it, then take it.
If they are love bombing and you don't like it
and they don't see that, fire them. If they've been
texting you for a long period of time and have
not called you, fire them or correct it. If there
(14:18):
is something in the beginning that you see there's a
red flag. Flag it, flag it, flag it. Matchmakers always
say you need to lean into your feminine side and
be there, and they don't want you to say what
you feel with the guy I found. The least interested
party always wins. Say it, say what it is, say
the problem.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Cut bait.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
At a certain age, which many of you are, everybody
knows what they want. It's not insecure to say what
you want. It's insecure to be a beggar. It's insecure
to be a doormat. It's insecure to be desperate. It's
insecure to be blood in the water. It's not insecure.
Someone said to me, why did you re you know,
rematch me? Are you just rematching all your old flames?
I was like, no, I don't believe in long distance
(14:57):
relationships anymore.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
I've done them.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
I hadn't moved to where i'd be living, and I
believe in intention.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
So now I'm ready. Like you could say I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Now, you don't have to say on the first date,
I want to have a baby and I want to
get engaged by June. But you could say I'm dating
with intention. I'm dating with intention, meaning if someone doesn't
isn't the right religion, if they don't have the money
you want, if they don't have the job you want,
if they don't live where you want, cut bait.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
There's no reason to waste time.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
There's no reason why, like a hord a guy that
could be someone else's. It's a big sea, it's a
big ocean. There are many fish in there. You just
have to know how to look. It's like you're going
to a mall. You can wander around aimlessly, or you
could be focused with a list ahead of time of
what exactly you need to get. When you get there,
they may not have everything. Then you weigh the puzzle out.
(15:47):
Is the person a little younger than you thought, but
a little better looking than you thought. Is the person
a little older than you wanted, but a little richer
than you thought? Are they not geographically desirable but not
too far? But they're super funny? Like you find your puzzle,
but you have to have the baseline. So you might
go into the mall thinking you want to get yourself
(16:07):
a cream colored dress. You might walk out with tan
you know, like you decide, but don't gaslight yourself. The
sooner you get out of something bad or don't settle
for something that you don't love. The sooner you'll be
in the right thing. And I'm finding that definitely, women
and men of a certain age, they are all there.
(16:29):
All men are not dating younger women. All older women
can't not get a guy, Like all these things are bullshit.
Many older women are hot, Like it's real, it's not bullshit.
There is a seat for every ass that wants to
find a seat. That's what I'm finding. So I got
you guys.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
This is just random.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
But like, critics were criticizing Megan Trainer about her glow
up and she looks unrecognizable.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Who cares?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
She looks great, she's beautiful, she's talented, she's gone viral.
Why do people have to still pin Kim Kardashian into
a sex tape? Has she not proven herself? Why do
people still have to pin me into the first season
of Housewives? Have I not proven myself? Like?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Stop?
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Why do people have to talk about people's failures fifteen
years ago or bad decisions or things they said on
social media or on Twitter? Can we not be unshackled
from things we've done years ago? I mean, do you
have to worry about the bunch of one night stands
you had in college as a fifty year old woman,
Like there should be no bringing up and like character
(17:38):
assassinating people for things they did years ago. Nick Cannon
was out recently talking about the mistakes he's made and
why you have so many children, Like, okay, we are
where we are now. Kim Kardashian is a successful billionaire.
You know, I was on a Housewives screaming at people
to make a buck, like turn us loose, Turn everyone loose,
turn the hoe, and you are called to sack loose.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
She's a good woman.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Now turn the player dog who cheated on his girlfriend
or even wife twenty years ago, loose. If he's changed.
Everyone gets to have a second chance if they want it.
It's ridiculous. I'm trying to really try to think about weights.
(18:23):
I know I say this like a crazy person, but
like yesterday, I walked on the beach, which to me
is doing a triathlon, which to me is working out,
which to me is boot camp. But to everyone else
it's not working out. So I'm gonna try to get
into hand weights because everyone's saying you must wait, train,
you must wait train. I thought yoga was your body
weight and that that was weight training, but I think
that's a scam. So today is the second day that
(18:45):
I get into hand weights and try to be a
workout person. I'm the type of person that like eases
into it. I break the seal and little by little
do a little more and then one day.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
I'm like, g I Jane.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I have to think about it for a while, then
one day decide to do it. Then if I do
it twice, that's like amazing. My next thing is like
trying to go to some workout classes. I keep talking
about it. I haven't done it, but going to walk
on the beach is my gateway drug to that.
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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