Just B Rant: Are They Happier Than Me?

A look back at the most 2025 feeling ever.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:12):
I was thinking recently that I was talking to my
friend about couples that have been together for years and
are still madly in love. And even if you've only
been in a relationship for a brief period of time,
or it's a year, or it's two years, I mean,
especially this time of year, it can be really hard
like comparing think about like, oh god, look what he

(00:36):
bought her, Look how romantic she is to him. Look
how much they're having sex, Look how obsessed with each
other they are. And the truth is, you never really
know what's going on behind closed doors. Now there are
people that are madly in love after all of these
years people could be There are people that are madly
in love after decades. Some people are nauseated by their

(00:57):
own parents because they're obsessed with Some people are not
by their own parents because they're obsessed with each other.
What does that mean? Does that mean a that they
just are luckier, They just met their partner and they've
just never ever looked elsewhere or just been uncertain. Does

(01:17):
that mean that each person was raised with parents that
are together, that chose each other early and that's just
the example that have been set. Does that mean that
one of these two people suffers from anxiety, the other
one OCD. One of them had parents that were together,
one was raised by wolves. One is a breeder dog,
one is a rescue dog. I mean the person is

(01:37):
a breeder dog or a rescue dog, which is how
I refer to someone who came from like a well
adjusted background versus raised by animals like myself. So I
just I think about that, and then also let's talk
about this. What about people that seem perfect and they
then get divorced? That means that they're maybe I'll show
and no go many people. The Housewives has taught me

(01:59):
one thing more than anything else, all show and know go,
fronting and stunting. There is no place where I've seen
more of people pretending everything is perfect because it's better
for it to look like you have a great life
than for you to actually have a great life. And
why is that? Because people who are broke want to

(02:22):
have expensive bags so other people think they're rich. People
who are emotionally broken or their relationships are broken want
other people to think that they have an amazing elevated relationship.
What's the difference you're broke and you have an airmez
fifteen thousand dollars bag. You want everyone to think you're rich,

(02:44):
You're miserable, but you have a relationship that if you
gloss it over, wear nice things, go on vacations and
distract yourself, you can pretend to other people that that's real.
And you know, it's so easy to hide in a
relationship because I've I've seen people that are always on
couples vacations. Beware of people that are always on couples

(03:05):
vacations and never going away with their partner alone. Why. Yes,
people have kids and they want to do family vacations.
I'm not dissing that, meaning that blanket statement you're a
miserable person. I'm not saying that. Obviously, a group vacation
is fun for some not myself. I'm not the type
who wants to be on a group vacation. I don't
understand it. That doesn't mean I'm right, It doesn't mean

(03:26):
I'm successful at relationships. We all know that. I just
feel like I don't want to be on somebody else's program,
and I don't want to have meals with people all day,
every day, three times a day, and like, what's the
big plan and the New Year's Eve plan? And then
the women are going off walking and the husband are
going off golfing. That's fine, but and then the kids
are off playing with the other kids. That's great because

(03:47):
for kids you really want that. But for me, I
like intimacy in friendships and relationships. So for me, the
group vacations, unless it's an exception, are not for me. Okay,
but forget me because I'm an ol liar and I
am a rescue dog. But I know people that are
never not on a couple's vacation. And I have spoken

(04:08):
to several people in relationships and they've told me how
they can hide in a relationship by constantly having group plans.
So let's say you live in a community and you're married,
and you're like, blah, you're either empty nesters or having
a mid life crisis or just fucking downright miserable, or
you're having an affair, or he's having an affair, or
they're having an affair, or you can't afford to get

(04:28):
divorced or whatever. What great way to distract from your
relationship is to constantly go out with other couples. You
can get fucked up, you can go to group dinners,
you can talk about menus. You could sit next to
the woman, or you flirt with the man and live
your life. You're in a group environment. I think it's
why many people swing. I think it's why many people
have key parties, why they're not going to break up

(04:50):
their marriage. They're going to stay together. They've made a commitment.
But it's a great distraction. It doesn't mean it's like
this all the time. I'm just saying, you can really
seem like you have an amazing relationship in those in
that dynamic, Like what do you really have to do
with your person? Think about how hard it is to
be with the person that you love and spend quality

(05:10):
time together during normal parenting and work and life obligations
and family obligations and god forbid, somebody get sick or
you've got to pay bills. Think about that. Okay, now
layer this in. You wake up in the morning, say
hello to your husband. You slept in bed with him,
doesn't matter. Maybe you didn't, Maybe he snores, maybe you
sleep in the other room. Who cares? Okay, goes to work,

(05:31):
a couple of texts about the kids, about you, what's
the plan, go to dinner, have dinner out. Maybe it's
just the two of you to have a meal. Great.
Maybe you're home with the kids. You get to talk
to the kids, go to bed. This Saturday, you're doing
the big plan six couples. You gotta look cute. You
get dressed, you got a shop to look cute. You know,
you got to show off and show how great you are.
Maybe you give your husband the obligatory fuck this week.

(05:52):
Maybe he gives you the obligatory fuck. I don't know.
You go out to the dinner, you all get wasted. Sunday,
you're exhausted, you're hanging out with your kids, they're playing,
or you're hungover. You make a plan for a vacation.
What do you have to do on the vacation? Really
nothing all day. You can just like me by the beach,
deal with the kids' activities, go to a bunch of
group dinners and like everybody's dealing with, like getting on
the plane, getting off the plane. Like I'm just saying,

(06:15):
not every relationship is what it looks like. And The
Housewives and reality television is the greatest example of that.
Look at any season one. It could be Kelsey Grammer
and Camille, it could be Erica and Tom. Look at
any season five. It could be look at any season ten.
It could be Kyle and Mauricio. It could be Dorit
and pk like And I promise you if there are craters,
there were originally cracks. And I've known personally many people

(06:39):
who went on reality TV specifically because they were kind
of miserable in their own lives, end in their own
marriages or end or in their own marriages, and they
either want a jolt, they want their own thing, they
want their own money. They both want a shot at something,
or they think it might save their marriage. Because if
everybody else thinks you have a great relationship, then do
you actually have one. So it's a dangerous game to

(07:02):
look across the table at another couple or at a
restaurant people making out and make it and think that
that's a relationship that you wish that you had, and
you hate your person for not doing that or being that.
Maybe the other husband gives the wife so many material
items because he or she it could go either way,

(07:23):
doesn't give them emotional support. Maybe somebody is not fun
at all, they're boring, but they buy the other person
a lot of stuff. I sat at an event recently
with a woman who's actually got a decent personality. I've
seen it deteriorate. I've seen her become more negative and
more miserable. Why because her husband was on the phone
the entire time. Because her husband has no personality, does

(07:44):
not talk to her or anyone else, and is a
fucking drip. So you could be shooting diamonds up my
vagina on the regular. But if I can't hang with you,
what the hell is the point? So nobody gets out
without paying the bill. No relationship is perfect. What if
you have a sex life so charismatic, so much chemistry,
but the person's a fucking cheap fuck, or they aren't funny,

(08:06):
or you know, they're not someone you want to enjoy
being around, or they're not nice to your kid. There
are so many formulas. Please do not, in one moment
look at any relationship and crystallize it and think that
you could just decide what it all means, because we
all lakurte menu. Oh look he bought it, or oh
they have sex so much, or oh look how he

(08:27):
holds her hand, or they're so affectionate they're obsessed with
each other. Trust me, relationships are marketed too, And if
a couple wants you to think that they're obsessed with
each other. They'll put it out there just like anything else,
So do not compare. Do not compare. I want to

(08:58):
talk about success at any age, so it's kind of
like a bit and we hear it from motivational speakers,
and I don't know if people really believe it. I've
heard Judge Judy say you can do it in your twenties,
your thirties, at any age, but not really get into
great detail about it. So I was recently doing a
speaking engagement. I was talking about at what age you

(09:18):
need to know what you're going to do for the
rest of your life, And the truth is never. I
think the worst thing is people thinking they have to
know where they're going, where they're going to end up,
and what they want to do with their lives. I
literally still don't know what I want to do with
my life, and I never really have. I've had different ideas,
it's always changed. I've gone from working for producers to
event producing to acting to improv to being a natural

(09:44):
food chef to selling pashminaz to event production to podcasting,
to writing books, to reality TV to scripted TV to
a talk show, to the liquor business, to producing television
shows like, to being an inflat sir, to doing brand
deal like it literally never ends. And the truth is, I, honestly,

(10:04):
honestly in this body, at twenty six years old, thought
I needed to have everything wrapped up in a bow.
It's the same thing with relationships. We think, oh my god,
I'm twenty eight, I want to meet someone. I'm thirty five.
I'm too old. I have to have kids. I'm thirty eight.
I can't believe I'm breaking up. I'm going to be alone.
I'm forty two. Like at fifty four, I still have
game in dating and in business as if it's the
first day I started, as if it's the first day

(10:26):
I started. I literally thought thirty years ago I needed
to know where I was going and what I was doing,
literally thirty years ago. So you got to understand that
it works at any age. You have to be where
you're at. It's not a line, it's not a bit,
it's not just like some weird motivational speech that Tony
Robbins gives. It's absolutely true. You can be successful at

(10:49):
any age. You have to be true to yourself. You
have to always be moving forward. The car has to
be moving forward, but you do not have to know
what the destination is. You have to be watching the road,
you have to be paying attention, you have to be
looking for signs, but you don't have to know exactly
where it's going. And the truth is, if you are
overly obsessed and overly be occupied by knowing where you're

(11:11):
going and what you're doing and what you're supposed to
be doing, you'll be in the wrong place because it's
not breathing. You're not really open about what's really happening.
You can't be true to yourself, and you can't have
good ideas, and the wine isn't breathing, and you're not
fully functioning. You're trapping yourself. You're labeling intellectually where you
need to be. When it's something that comes from your gut,

(11:33):
success comes from your gut instinct, It comes from inside
your body. It comes from good ideas, It comes from passion, drive, determination.
It does not come from what you're looking for outside.
So if you're sitting there, I should be doing that.
I should be doing that. They're doing this. They're doing that.
Someone told me I should do this. This is what
they said this is what they said on Shark Tank.
This is what my parents told me, This is what
my sister did. This is the college my brother went to.

(11:54):
This is what I'm supposed to be doing. That's what
won't work. The only thing that works for you is
your own set of keys. You try them and you
find what fits. But my trajectory has been so unusual,
so circuit, it's so bizarre that I could never have
planned it. I just always went with my gut and
where the road took me. But with intention. It wasn't

(12:16):
like some zombie or some you know. I'm more like
a room but vacuum. You hit the wall, go the
other direction. Try that, hit the wall, but find the
right road. So at any age, you can be dating,
you can get married, you can get in a relationship,
you can start a business, you can become successful. You
can make it. Just don't trap yourself into numbers and

(12:38):
where you're supposed to be. Here's something interesting about plastic surgery.
Of course, I've been down in Florida, and I've been
looking at people's work in general, because there's so many
Brazilian butt lifts in Florida. Like everybody's ass is a shelf.
It's just like such a massive thing, the Brazilian butt lift.

(12:59):
Now you could like you could not like it. Miami's
great because it's self expression, Like you're just down there
and people are doing what the fuck they want, wearing
what they want, like chain link. They're just dress naked.
One night, my dress kept popping open, the buttons were
popping off, and I just thought, like, and there's a
bathing suit under it. I was wearing it as a slip,
and I just thought it wouldn't even fucking matter if
I was walking around a bathing suit, like it wouldn't
have mattered at a nightclub or at a restaurant, it

(13:19):
doesn't matter. You could do whatever you want. I was
feeling self conscious, but it wouldn't have mattered. So what
happens with really good work sometimes and I know people
say it's not really good. Sometimes people have really good work,
Like you look at their face and their skin looks
amazing and it looks like clear and angelic and perfect,
but they look older, and it's strange because they look great,

(13:40):
but sometimes on their age that you know they are
or just something is off, like they've gotten the work
and the skin is perfect and there's no discoloration and
there are really no lines because they got the botox,
the filler, the plastic, whatever it is. But they look
older because it's like overworked. It's like a spec house,

(14:01):
like a perfect new construction house, you know when you
walk into like a perfect brand new construction house. Some
days I really love that house because like everything works
and everything is great, but like I look at it
and it doesn't seem real, and it seems strange. It
feels hot. That's what it's like with a person who's
like overworked. I may have more like sharpay wrinkles, and

(14:21):
you know, maybe like brown spots from the sun, which
I really don't have, because that's a whole other different
story about what I believe about that. We'll talk about
that another day. I think the more shit you do,
the more brown spots you get, because you take it
down to a blank surface and then your skin is
exposed to the sun, and then you go out for
one second and you get the spots. That doesn't mean
if you are a leather suitcase and you've had years
of sun damage, you shouldn't take the layer off. I

(14:43):
just mean for a person who has relatively decent skin
but I digress. So, I, you know, would like a
brand new house like I'd like sometimes the perfect brand
new house, face, body, et cetera. But there's something about
that that I don't like. There's something about it that
just seems weird. Sh