Just B Rant: Burying the Kitchen Knife

Bethenny attempts to put an end to a long time feud with another A-list celebrity. Find out what caused the rift, how long it went on and what occurred to convince Bethenny it was time to search for a reconciliation.

The question is…did it work?!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:11):
So I went to the jingle Ball, and I brought
my daughter and we were going to stay late and
get to Olivia Rodrigo. And I loved Jelly Roll. Who
knew I liked Jelly Roll. I loved his music. He
was so cool two years before Caine Brown. Never heard
of that guy until then, And so I like that,
You know, I don't go to listen to music I
art does it really well because you're at Madison Square Garden,

(00:33):
which is not my cup of tea. Usually. I love
Madison Square Garden and actually, to compliment them, I just
went to the Pink concert and that was very civilized too.
So I was going to say the idea of going
to Madison Square Garden can be overwhelming because I don't
love crowds and just get anxiety about that and getting
in and getting out. And the jingle Ball every year

(00:54):
is just so well run, which says a lot about iHeart.
It says a lot about Madison Square Garden because it's
just so pleasant. You feel safe, you don't feel chaotic,
you feel like you can get access to things, you
can get to places. It's just run really well. And
it's the same people that do Radio City. Because I
see the same security guys and I think it is

(01:16):
or the same guys work at both places. But like
it's just run well. So that's great. The jingle Ball
is like a civilized concert, you know. And it's also
great because you're not just listening to one artist the
whole time. Like you could hear someone play four songs.
You don't like them, you don't care, you're a little curious,
you know one, so then you're on to the next thing.
It's sort of like someone with a tension death is
a disorders dream, like oh, okay, we did that. Now

(01:38):
we're doing gangster rap, all right. Now we did country.
Now we're doing gospel. Like it was very cool, and
I always learned something and learn Oh, you know, I'm
like the old person that's like, oh wait, that person's song.
And it's every mom like I am. So I am
the Justin Bieber of the jingle Ball because it's all
the moms that have teens that you know, have the
fanny packs and the big oversized coffee cups and the

(01:58):
cross body and something blank out and like these are
my people. So like I, you know, I'm very big
at the jingle Ball, you know, And that gen pop
you know area that we're in where everyone's just in
rows and I was like, oh my god, the daughter
watched me on TikTok. The mom loves my dollar store.
I'm like, I'm you know, the mom's at CBS like
quoting my reviews, like I'm just very big. I honestly

(02:20):
I'll take Justin Bieber on any well, no I won't
because I'll want the kids are there, but in my
delusional mind, on the Justin Bieber of of the moms
at the Jingle Ball. So I'm watching and I see
Martha on stage, I see Andy Cohen up like not
in the you know, and like the concert gets like diagonal,

(02:40):
like I'm on the floor in the like the pit,
and then like on the right, it's like a little
like a couple of rows up. I see Andy Cohen
in the distance in a flannel talking to some guys,
just like drinking a beer, I think, And I uh,
it's too soon for both of us, I'm sure, but
it's like I know that we both have like fond
memories and it's con fusing all around, and I'm sure

(03:02):
it's confusing for him. Although it's I've been fairly clear
and I've got no like personal vendetta against Andy Cohen
by any means. He just kind of lives in and
reflects this sort of world that got, in my opinion,
a little out of control. So but I had like,
you know, it's the holidays and feeling sentimental. There's no
reason to like burn everything down to the grounds. Is no, Like,

(03:24):
It's not like I don't find Andy very pleasant, very charming,
very you know, amusing, and have like fond memories. I
didn't go through like I'm delusional And in other nostalgic
full circle news, Martha Stewart was there, which I talked about,
but it was just crazy because she It's a big

(03:47):
place in Madison Square Garden and she's sitting in my
row way at the end. But I didn't think I
knew that. I saw her up on stage and this
woman Heather was like walking in front of us to
get to her seats, and she said hi, and I
said Ahi, I was nice, and she said do you
want to come say hi to Martha. I was like, well,
don't I ever? And I wanted to grab Brynn. It
was like I wanted to grab Brint to like show
Martha that I'm like a grown adult that like has

(04:08):
a child just like her, like a daughter, a single
you know, an only daughter. And Brinn was listening to
the concert and I had a make up my makeup person, Jason,
who's grade who I said, you should stay and go
to the event, And this guy Kyle was with us,
and I was a get the like, come you should
probably this is something we should probably capture. I just
had a feeling and I always go back to like

(04:32):
you always go back to the way you were as
a kid with your parent, or like someone used to
work for. You could have a person who used to
work four years ago as your boss and you now
like own the company they work for, you'd still feel
that same dynamic. And my dynamic with Martha, you know it,
it changed in the last couple of years where I
got more empowered, like we're you know, I'm on her level,

(04:55):
which I don't really pretend to think that I am,
only because she's a legend and she's been in this
business for a really long long time. And I you know,
and I don't mean this in any sort of shady way.
I respect people that came before me, let's say it
that way. So but she's undeniably a legend. I mean,
she's she created the whole domestic movement. Like everything that

(05:19):
every you know, Rachel Ray and Barfoot Contesta and every
person after that, did Sandra Lee, all of it. It
started with Martha. Well, I mean Julia Child's was a
was a chef and was in the kitchen. But this
is like a different story. So I'm like the hell
I am, I always like reduced to who I used
to be, where I was like, hey my dad, you know,

(05:40):
and it's happened so many times, and I've been shut
down so many times. You have no idea the crazy
stories I have about Martha and I like the comments
that she's made to me are insane, and like the
comments that I've made back are insane. It's really been
like this nemesis sort of friendly rivalry. Like she did
say on Andy Cohen's show that she made a mistake
and not hiring me. She acknowledges that, but she's still,

(06:02):
you know, couldn't kind of stand me call she called
me a pest on my own talk show. Like it
was back and forth, but it was never like vicious.
It was just sort of like healthy battle, you know,
and for no good reason, but I'll never forget and
I have so many stories, so if you guys like them,
I'll tell more Martha stories. Remind me to tell you
the story of Noboo Martha at Nobu on fifty seventh Street,

(06:25):
because it's a crazy story. It's after like this piece
came out about me when I was on The Apprentice
and I had been topless in some shitty film years ago,
like in a just bathing toples scene in the back.
It wasn't like I was Trishia Petus like on OnlyFans.
It was just like my saggy boobs or just laying topless.
But anyway, it was an article on the back page

(06:46):
of page six and it's called me Martha's a Porntis
And I'll tell you the story later. But she chose
to bring that up at Noboo, like it's so it
was so pertinent to nothing that was going on. I
hadn't seen her in months, and she just brought it
up because it was a right random shot to fire.
So and of course I was like, well, I just
got an insider stock tip, Martha. Like so, because it's
gonna cost me thirty five hundred dollars a story. If

(07:08):
you guys like it plus tax. So I'm on The
Apprentice Martha Stewart and I am the runner up. I
don't win. Who cares if I thought I should want?

(07:29):
It's a touching story. It doesn't matter what anyone thought.
I didn't fucking win. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter
whether you bought your way onto the Forbes under thirty
lifts or whether you bought your way onto the Hollywood
Walk of Fame. Your fucking star is on there, so
it doesn't matter. Okay. And if someone comes over here
and says to me, hey, for free, I'll give you
a big discount. We'll give you a star on the
Walk of Fame. Here's my fucking check. If someone says

(07:50):
you're gonna get on the met Gala and you can
go there and wear dollar store makeup and land the
fucking roll, where's the check? Where's your venmo, I'll send
you the money right now. About the star Walk of Fame,
it's about going to the Mechala, and it's about winning
the Apprentice. Okay, So I didn't win, Who gives a
good fuck? I came in second. Nobody cares how it happened.

(08:11):
Nobody gives a shit who came in second the derby. Okay, great,
I'm devastated I came in second. I thought I was
gonna have the job. I wanted the job working for
I wanted to democratize style like she did health. That
was my big line. That's what I felt. I wanted
to like be in there and be her number two
and this whole thing. Incidentally, someone just quoted on Instagram

(08:31):
something she said about in her masterclass, like if you
see something in someone, you grab that person. And people
were like, why didn't she grab you? And she didn't.
Then she later said, I watch what Happens Live, she
made a mistake, which I do not believe that Martha
Stewart says often. So I've got that in my change purse.
But I didn't win, and I was broke, and I

(08:53):
was invited by a Lei Slaine, who was a housewife
for a minute, to be her beard on a trip
in Saint Bart's. But I didn't know that I was
gonna be her beard. I didn't know what her story
was in her marriage. I thought, I don't know she.
I thought she was friends with this guy, she was
dating him. It's not my business. I don't care. I
just wish I had asked her to give me a

(09:14):
check for being the Beard. I couldn't give a shit.
What people do in their private life not my business.
But I was invited by her to go to Saint Bart's.
Let me remember, well we on a did she get
the sky to fly us on a private plane? It
might have been I don't remember. It might have been
like rolling that deep. She's a big fucking game hunter.
She had a rich husband. She dated this guy. She

(09:34):
dated a guy who worked under Ron Perlman. She ended
up getting an apartment out of that. She dated Howard Sobel,
who's another big she did she dated. I think she
flirted around with Donnie Deutsch but never dated him. She's
a big game hunter, just not as good as Lauren Sanchez.
Got to fucking respect it. Go a Lee Slang invited
me at Saint Bart's. So they we go to Saint

(09:55):
Bart's and I know that Martha's gonna be there. And
I don't know why I know, but I know someone
I know knows her. I know she's gonna be there. Oh,
because I used to be friends with Paul Allen, the
billionaire who founded Microsoft. May he rest in peace with
Bill Gates liked Paul Allen, really smart guy. How I
know him this is the ultimate fucking rant for the Holidays.
How I know him is when I worked for Jerry Bruckheimer,

(10:19):
the producer that his wife, Linda Bruckheimer, she was like
another She was like an hbiic like me, like organizing
everything from antiques to rubber bands. And I was her assistant.
And Jerry Bruckheimer's her husband, and he produced Top Gun
and Dais of Thunder and freaking a million movies you've
heard of, like the Rock on Alcatraz, Connyer. He's a

(10:41):
member of the Not Fucking Around crew. So I was
working for them, and for the summer in Malibu, they
needed someone to get their house that now would be
worth fifty seventy five million. Then it was worth probably
five to six million to get their house ready because
they were renting it out too, either to Meg Tilly

(11:02):
after Steve Tish or too Steve Tish after Meg Tilly.
Meg Tilly's an actress. Steve Tish is a producer produced
Forrest Gump, another fucking rich, rich, rich motherfucker. They owned
the Giants, his brothers, John Tish. I could go on
for days, so many fucking stories within this story, but
enjoy and try to get a pen and paper and
follow along. So I worked for the Bruckheimers and I

(11:24):
had to get their spare house in Malibu. Yep, their
spare house ready for these people. So the girl who
was the main number one assistant, Carol, tasked me to come.
And we were living on Carbon Canyon where Sebesta stallone
was where all the rich people were. That's a plus
fucking major major bag alert, like Larry Ellison. Uh, you know,

(11:49):
multi billionaire has a house there. You cannot if you
don't have a if you don't have a spare plane,
you don't have a place on Carbon Canyon. So we
were the babysitters of the house. So I would drive
there my forged probe and David Geffen was our neighbor
and he liked me, and he asked me to come
to his house as dinner party to be Paul Allen

(12:09):
to date because someone intelligent he thought I was intelligent
could sit next to Paul Allen because there were a
bunch of dum dums and a bunch of Hollywood types.
So David Geffen was having Paul Allen, the founder of
Microsoft over. I don't know who the fuck he was,
so that's how I met him. So I knew Paul Allen.
And I've always been the same way I am now,
So even when I was broke, I always knew people
because I was just always exactly the same. So I

(12:32):
knew Paul Allen and Paul Allen while I was on
the Apprentice towards the end, made the mistake of telling
Martha that he knew me. Big mistake, huge, Julia Roberts,
because that made me look like I was in a
different level, Like I was sort of at Martha Stuart's level,
and I needed Martha to think I was not at
her level because we wanted her to hire me, Like

(12:53):
I'm not interested in hiring people to work, you know,
for me now that they're gonna be like, oh hey, yeah,
I know Madonna too. It's just not what goes down.
That was the first mistake, and I made another mistake
with Martha. I had seen Bill Clinton at lunch at Barney's.
That sounds really fucking relatable. Just coincidentally, I ran in
to Bill Clinton and he was with his daughter Chelsea

(13:15):
eating at Barney's, and I was eating because I was
The live finale was at night, and I was with
my friends who came in and flew in for the finale,
and I was eating with them, and this is my
hand to God, this is a true fucking story. It
ended up in the post. Bill Clinton was there. We
walk out at the same time. I walk up and
I say like, oh, hi, tonight, I'm you know tonight,

(13:39):
I'm I'm doing a live finale with Martha Stewart, like
a big name drop. I needed something my hands to got.
He had spinach in his tooth, and I told him,
and he was with very light security and he took
the spinach drop his tooth. It's the only interaction I've
ever had with him. I interviewed his wife Hillary on
this podcast, and you could if you ever ran into
Bill Clinton, it probably would embarrass him. But it's so

(14:00):
many years later. But he and Chelsea were having lunch.
She was obviously much younger, she was a kid, And yes,
he had spinach on his teeth, and he would remember
that because he seems really fucking smart. I would not
think that's what you would bring up to him, but
that's what did happen. So lo and behold, that was
the day my dumb fucking ass goes back to the
finale that night and mentions to Martha that I ran
into Bill Clinton, so I can be making this all up.

(14:22):
I'll never bring it up again. But it's not that
relatable for Martha Stewart to know that one of her
contestants knows Bill Clinton and Paul Allen. And incidentally, in
walking through the suite one day when I wasn't there
for some reason, she commented on this Louis Vutant outfit
that I had, that a man that I had dated
had bought for me. So I don't think that I
was that relatable and seem like I needed the job

(14:44):
even though I was broken. I fucking needed the job.
I digress. I don't get the job. I'm Elisee Slaine's beard,
and I'm going to Saint Bart's and with her friend Matt,
nice guy, and they have me staying in like not
a real hotel room at the fancy rich Hotel La
twenty in Saint Bart's, but like some sort of like

(15:07):
person who owns or manages the hotels, like like staff cottage,
but it was lovely. It was a cottage, but it's
like a hotel it's very romantic. Way up in the mountains.
You're kind of alone, and she's on a romantic vacation.
I'm just the beard. So I don't really have transportation.
I'm fucking around. I don't have anything going on, but
I have one thing going on. Paul Allen has a boat,

(15:28):
a yacht. His three boats. One is called the octopusy
This one is three hundred feet at the time, and
we're in St. Barts and I'm invited to his New
Year's Eve party. Okay, we're getting to how it's gonna
cost me thirty five hundred dollars this story. So he
has a New Year's Eve party. I know because he
told me. I believe that Martha was gonna be on
that New Year's Eve party. Now I didn't win. So

(15:50):
it's like Martha's the guy that just broke up with
me that I want to run into and I'm gonna
fucking look so hot and one thing I have, and
Martha's beautiful and looks hot. Now like I was in
my how old was I was young? I was you
could wear things I wouldn't wear. Now I'm a mom,
like you know, I wear fucking crossbody bags and shirp
of fucking clogs, Like it's not the same. So Martha

(16:13):
and Martha's a lot older. Martha then was my age.
Martha was at Shirpa Clog wearing age, you know, cross
body age. So Martha's gonna be on this boat. And
I'm like, I'm gonna fucking wear the most fuck you
outfit anyone who's ever seen in their life. I have
a picture. We're gonna have to show it one day.
I don't know how we show a picture on a podcast,
but we'll have to figure that out. I have to
teleport it to you, okay, because I will post you

(16:36):
Guys will ask me the comments of like this was
the fuck you dress? The number? I have two fuck
you dresses. I've worn them both to the Victoria's Secret
Fashion Show, the only place you can wear the biggest
fuck you dress besides Vegas or on TikTok, but not me.
So I'm like, I'm gonna bring the most fuck you dress.
How did I afford adult Jakeabana fuck you dress? How

(16:57):
waiting online for adult Jake Abana samples, getting it ninety
percent off and clubbing someone over the head for it?
So I wear my fucking doltcea Gabana laces all the
way down both sides, and I don't mean like laces,
like tight shoelaces, like there's a wide gap. It's a
black satin dolt Jake Abana corset dress that hugs you
and it's on your body, and it's got two giant

(17:20):
gaps on both sides going all the way down with
only laces like tying it all the way down. It
is the ultimate countiest fuck you dress in history. Number one.
I have another one. This one's more of the laces,
the fucking allure of it, the mystery. I wear this
onto that fucking boat that you have to take a
boat to get to the boat. And I get on

(17:42):
that boat and I don't know what I'm gonna say.
It's the guy. It's the guy that broke up with you.
What the fuck are you gonna say? You're gonna probably
you have the biggest thing. You're gonna say. Someone's gonna
be flirting with you. You don't know what you're gonna say,
Just like when Charlotte on Sex and the City didn't
know what she'd say if she saw a big and
she's like, you'll rue the day he'll rue it who
knows so, but she ended up running into him. What's

(18:03):
her name was having a bait when oh, when she
was going into labor, so she couldn't say anything great.
So I get on the boat and it's the first
person I see, likely because Martha and myself were people
who would show up early, like we're showing up. We
don't want to get our seat and we just like
to know where we are. I get on the boat
and I walk over and Martha is talking to John

(18:23):
bon Jovi and to God, may I be burned at
the stake right now and struck by lightning. This is
not exactly what fucking happened. She's talking to John bon Jovi.
I walk up to her and I say hi Martha,
and she says to John bon Jovi, Oh, hi Bethany.
She said, this is Bethany. She was just on my show,

(18:44):
The Apprentice, but she's mad at me because she didn't win.
This is days after the finale. What other contestant gets
to run into the person who was like at the
helm of this thing because there's someone's beard for a
future housewife in St. Barts and is on their own
alone oftion. So I and I have no like I'm nobody.

(19:04):
I'm nothing, I've no money. I have this fucking dress.
I clubb someone over the head for that's all that
I have in this world. That's all that I'm clinging to,
and it is clinging to me. And she says, she
says that line about that. I'm you know, I didn't win,
so I'm mad at her. And I say this line
to Martha Stewart, Martha, I'm not mad at you. You're
like an ex boyfriend that I hate but I'm still
in love with. That was the microphone dropping, and that

(19:28):
was it. That was all I had to do on
the boat. I was on the boat. I met some people.
I was insecure. I was alone. I was a loser.
It wasn't as cool to be alone. I didn't have
TikTok or my social media followers to talk to and
pretend I was busy, just alone on a boat with
billionaires on an island with no money to spend on it.
That was it. Got off the boat, lived my life happily.

(19:48):
Ever after ran into Martha. Maybe a couple of other times.
This is gonna be a new series called Martha Stories.
The next one would be me and Martha at Nobu

(20:08):
and Malibu. There's another one of me and Martha at
Bette Midler's Halloween party. And I have another one on
the street with Jason and now I will tell you
the final Martha's story. And I have another one when
she came out of my talk show, which I give her.
And I have another one when we were going to
do a TV show together because Andy Cohen told Martha
Stewart that the only way he wanted to do anything
with her and produce something with her is if it

(20:30):
was a show of the two of us together. So
we went on that journey, and then most recently and
then on my talk show, and then most recently at
the jingle Ball, I walked up to Martha and I
didn't have any kind of big plan, and I didn't
feel scorned, and I didn't have anything to prove, and

(20:50):
I feel like I am a whole, put together, well
made Ikia cabinet. And I walked up to Martha and
I sat down and I said, You're amazing. What you've
been doing is unbelievable. I'm so impressed, I said, I
kissed the proverbial ring. I said, I'm sorry for anything

(21:15):
that has ever happened, full tail right between legs, don't
even know what I'm sorry for, doesn't fucking matter. Meaning
like we're both grown ass women who have nothing to
prove in this life, and it was it just hit different,
It just hit different. We were like mano amano, two
women with one daughter, two women who have undeniably been

(21:38):
successful in this crazy journey, on this crazy path, two
women who have been appreciated for their humor. Me more
expected her at the Friars Club roast like she she
has really leaned into not taking yourself seriously. She works
with snoop, She's fully self deprecating, and she's earned it.

(22:00):
Like she has earned it. She is relevant at her age.
She looks amazing. She's out at the jingle Ball, like,
you know, like, give the fucking shut the ride man.
She deserves it. She won the prize. She she gave
it to me, to Andy Cohen, and I'm giving it
back to her to you. She deserves it, whatever it is,

(22:21):
give her the fucking prize. So I went over to
her at the jingle Ball, I I you know, turned
to her and I gave her the prize and I
kissed the ring indeference in adoration. But there was something
different because I when I was younger and on roller
skates and at Nobu and on that boat, there was

(22:42):
something shakier about me, not confident. I hadn't earned it yet.
I just hadn't gone through the ranks of it. I hadn't,
you know, fought the fought, walk, the walk, talk the talk,
proven myself really at a level where not only everybody
else would think that I had earned my seat the table,
but where I would really know that I've earned my
seat at the table, like you know that I can

(23:05):
get the same people on speed dial that she can.
And it felt different walking over there. But she treated
me differently, she received me differently. It wasn't even that
she received me, She just met me in the middle.
We were both two women, and there was just a
vibe from the second I sat down, because trust me,
if I got a cold vibe or any vibe, I
wouldn't have done what I did. But there was just
something about Mary and something about Martha and me walking

(23:28):
up to her, it just it just was we were
like equals, and it landed and I gave her what
she deserved and is earned. And that was my story
with Martha