December 18, 2024 • 17 mins
The media can take a single picture or a TikTok and make it a THING. Don't fall for it. PLUS: Thanksgiving is over—something to be thankful for.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
I don't want to be defined by who I am
or am not dating. So let me just tell you
what goes on with me and my love life, my
love life, my dating era, my adventure era. I've gotten
married on television. I've been paid to expose my personal life.
That was the name of the game, that was what
(00:33):
I signed up for. I've been through the rumor mil
a very public, negative divorce where I couldn't use my
own voice and say what I was going through. I
was terrified that they would be repercussions for explaining that
I was going through hell, and I was painted to
be the villain and the person who's quiet and isn't
(00:55):
getting their words out, particularly when you're in the public
I or even in your I was called the culled Deza,
the person who's saying nothing everybody else gets to just
spin rumors about. So then I left reality TV, and
that was very vindicating and very liberating because I decided
that I wanted some version of a private life. Now
that's laughable given the fact that I'm in the media
pretty much every day, but I wanted to try to
(01:18):
have some version of a private life. I was in
a relationship for years a very meaningful, very significant relationship,
and it's tempting. You're in a relationship with someone, You're
out at a restaurant and you're trying something and you
want to share it with your followers, and you want
to include the person you're with. You also want to
share the person you're with with your followers, and they
get invested, and you want to inspire them that they
(01:40):
too could meet someone. You also want to let them
know that you're not miserable anymore, that you're happy. But
finding someone doesn't mean you're happy. We cannot be defined
by who we're with, and I really don't want that
to be my identity. What happens is you meet someone
and people are invested in it, and they ride with
(02:01):
you to the top, and then you break up, and
then they ride with you to the bottom, and they
want to know why. And it has to be someone's fault.
Someone did something wrong, someone cheated on someone, someone couldn't
handle the other person. Someone's the villain, someone's the hero.
In some cases, people just break up. It could be
for religious differences. It could be parenting styled. It could
(02:22):
be the blending didn't work. It could be for money.
It could be long distance. It could be someone's career
is too important to them at that time. It could
be timing. It could be just someone's in a toxic
period in their life. It could be addiction. There are
a million things that could be going on. It could
be a previous divorce or not ready yet. It could
(02:42):
be anxiety. There are a million reasons why people break
up and why people get together, and everybody wants to
assign something that makes them feel better. So it's like,
if two people break up that seemed perfect and you're
feeling bad about yourself, you want it to be that
someone cheated on the other person because that makes you
feel bad about when you were cheated on, or it
makes you feel better that that person is alone, because
(03:04):
you're alone. And that's how people operate sadly, and people
really want to sabotage others' happiness, and that's really sad.
And when you are the most unhappy is when you
want to talk badly about other people and their relationships.
And when you're the happiest, you're just happy for everyone,
and you are sad when people are in pain, even
if you don't like those people. And I have been
(03:29):
in a dating era and I've shared many of the
stories with you about fails and pink flags and red
flags and you know, fears and advice, and I've tried
to maintain a level of privacy, not just for myself
but for other people. Now sometimes, as I've mentioned to you,
that's challenging because a person with you is now with you,
(03:50):
and they want that to be known because they don't
want you to seem like you're single. So you want
to include them in some way. You know, I've taken
a picture of someone that I've been out with or
that I liked, holding their hand, but like facing the
other way to acknowledge them, to not marginalize them. And
the truth is any version of public scrutiny is not
a good idea. It's just difficult to navigate. And the
(04:13):
reason you read so many celebrity breakups, even probably more
than normal breakups, and so many reality television breakups, is
because the fish bowl is intense and it seems fun
for a minute, but it's a rose and it has
petals and thorns. It's fun when everyone's so into you
and it seems great, and it crashes and burn. Look
at Jalo and ban Afleck, Look at everybody, and so
(04:34):
you try to maintain a level of privacy but also
be inclusive with the person that you're with. And the
truth of my dating life is it's been a dating life.
I was in Miami and I was wearing a ring
that I've had for years that Dennis, my ex fiance,
bought me at Beauty and Essex at their pawn shop.
And it's a flexible diamond ring. And it doesn't fit
(04:55):
on my right hand and it gets swollen, it will
get trapped, and so I wear on my left hand
because I don't really care, Like I don't care about
a left hand or a right hand, Like nobody said that,
Like your left hand has to mean anything any more
than a man wearing an earring in the right air
means he's gay or straight or weird things like I
don't care about that.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
I really just don't. I like jewelry.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
I'm not giving up a prime real estate finger, you
know that used to have a gorgeous diamond ring on
it for what society gives a shit about.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
It's stupid.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I've said it out loud. I could wear a diamond
on there. I could buy a giant twenty carret diamond
and put it on my left hand. Leave me alone.
I'm not engaged, and I've been dating it and I've
been happy, and I've been out and I've traveled and
I've gone out to dinner. But there's nothing to discuss
until there's something to discuss. And you guys know me,
While I don't want to share every intimate detail about
(05:43):
my relationship every day because that hasn't served me. My
divorce was traumatic and that being so public was a nightmare,
like an absolute nightmare. And a breakup that I went
through was terrible because it became public. It had been
private for six months and it was so peaceful and
I was like, wait, wow, I get to feel normal,
go through it and break up and like experience it
(06:04):
on my own. And then something happened and it exploded
into the universe and then people knew about it, and
that sucked. And now I'm just trying to meet people
and date and have an interesting life and connect and
experience love and intimacy, and I just don't want any
(06:25):
time I go into the ocean and I'm wearing a
diamond ring that doesn't look anything like an engagement ring,
that this means that I'm engaged. I just don't want
these labels to define me. What if I want to
be happy and that means not knowing what the end
will be. What if I don't know if I ever
want to get engaged. What if I don't know if
I ever want to get married. What if I do
(06:46):
end up getting married. What if I say to myself,
I only want to be with someone who has older kids,
but I meet someone who has younger kids. What if
I meet someone amazing and I want to blend with
them but it doesn't work. What if I meet some
that's long distance?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
What if? What if? What if? Like?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
What if we explore? What if we date and we explore?
Men are allowed to sleep around, date, be a player,
and not be defined by their every stupid decision. And
a woman is with someone they're supposed to be so desperate,
so happy they got the guy, They want to get
the ring, they want to lock it down like that's archaic,
(07:23):
that's not good for women. We could be Martha Stewart.
We could end up alone in our eighties, with beautiful
people around us, great pets of full life, a great career,
still relevant, working, hanging out with Snoop and not in
a relationship because she seems like she didn't want it
or it didn't work for her, she couldn't find the
one she wanted. Martha Stewart is an example of someone
(07:45):
who probably doesn't want to eat something that's mid So
if she didn't find a relationship that seems above average,
she probably isn't willing to settle. Maybe she's difficult, maybe
she's better alone. Why is this judged? Why does everybody
have to do what everybody else thinks they want you
to do. I'm wearing diamonds wherever I want. I could
wear diamonds on every finger and every toe and it
(08:08):
doesn't mean I'm engaged. I believe that based on the
relationship we have. I will tell you if I'm engaged,
I'd be You'd be probably the first people i'd tell.
The media cannot explain what's going on in my life.
I'll explain what's going on in my life in other
(08:38):
ba Humbug Ebenezer Scrooge news. I love giving thanks, I
genuinely do. I am thankful, I am grateful. I'm always
I'm annoying about it, Like I'm in Paris Fashion Week
with Loriel and I'm like Oh my god, can you
guys believe I'm on the day one of Apprentice like
stalking everyone to be as grateful and thankful and appreciative
and in the moment and centered as I am, Like,
(08:59):
shut fucking whole. But guess what, I don't like Thanksgiving.
I don't like Thanksgiving. Why it's a perfectly good long
weekend that I want to go away somewhere and utilize
it with my daughter because I'm so I have to
adhere to her school schedule so tight, and she can't
take a minute off because it's a fucking it's insane
(09:21):
in there, and like the sports and the academics and
the pressure, so we can never miss a day. So
it's a perfectly good weekend that it's bad travel on
this day. It's bad travel on the day after. It's
Black Friday. On this day, it's a whole. It's a
common deared weekend that is also about marketing the slaughtering
of turkeys, And yes, I eat chicken, I eat steak,
So it seems hypocritical, but it's not, because it's a
(09:44):
mass slaughtering and there's so much waste on a food
that's never great. You're gonna say your chicken's juicy. Yours
is moist. Fine, great, it's sometimes there's parts that are moist.
There's always some fucking dry part. And it's a giant
thing and it's sloppy, and no one's making like turkey
soup and a giant cauldron. The net like the waste
is ad nauseum, all the sloppy, sloppy disgusto ziplock bags
(10:09):
because now you're wasting plastic.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Now you're fucking the environment.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Because it's like you have to have a plastic lifestyle
just to go with the leftover turkey that no one's
gonna fucking eat. You eat one sandwich for the gimmick
and the whole thing, the turkey terrific with the turkey,
the stuffing, the cramber, and the next day you want
to throw it against the wall.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
You don't want to see it anymore.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
You don't want to see like the lard laden interior
of a ziplock bag. It looks ratchet. Something's leaking all
over your car. Now you gotta fucking steam clean your
car because you needed to not waste the turkey that
was mass slaughtered and marketed when it's not that great
of food.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Like, why these motherfuckers.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Why Okay, why Kobe beef that's been massaged. Okay, they
died for a good and noble cause. Turkeys the dumbest
fucking animals that don't get on a plane out of
here to another country because they fucking know, because their
own friends know that they're going down in November, and
they can hear everyone talking about it.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
In October. Popeye's is fucking gearing up. Tell your friends
and guess what.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
The fried turkey, the Cajun turkey, the Asian turkey, dispatchcock turkey,
the turkey terrific, the turkey fucking skewers, turkey soup, turkey,
leave turkey, taco.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Nobody wants a turkey taco. Stop stop justifying the slaughtering
of an animal that doesn't fucking taste great.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
It tastes good.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
I'll give you sliced cold cuts, thinly slice that I'll
give you, but then it's bad for you, nitrates. This
is wrong, that's wrong. It's not real turkey, like shut
stop stop it. The only time I ever enjoyed a
turkey was when I fucking marinated it within an inch
of its life. I gave it a salt rub. I
made it in an air fire, just the turkey breast,
(11:55):
not the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
But what are we gonna do? Only kill?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
It's like killing for fucking skilling, killing stripper. We're like
killing strippers. We only want you for your beautiful breasts.
Like now we're gonna kill all these fucking turkeys for
the one. Yes, some grandfather wants to not a drumstick, great,
most people don't want the big drumstick. Those are all
going to Disneyland where they're only eating drumstick. Where is
the rest of the turkey going? I just don't like it.
(12:21):
I don't like it. I don't trust it. I don't
like it. And we only like turkey's big, perfect tits.
We only want the white meat breast, that's what we want.
I don't like it. So yes, I want to travel
on Thanksgiving. I want to fly on that fucking day
(12:42):
when no one's fine. Go somewhere great, ignore it, not
murder all the birds for the waste and the pressure
and the stress. I don't care. And I also I
don't know. I don't love the whole meal. It's a
it's a fucking onslaught, and it's waterboarding, Like, I don't
need sweet cranberries with sweet sweet potatoes, with sweet marshmallows,
(13:06):
with sweet pecans, with sweet pumpkin pie at the same
fucking time. Oh, let's candy some walnuts on the salad
that has dried cranberries in it. But also let's jam
some fucking corn bread up the turkey with the cranberries.
What are we doing? Are we all trying to be diabetic?
Like we're doing this all the same time. No wonder
everyone's sleeping until Valentine's Day. Why it's not normal. It's
(13:32):
not normal.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
We don't.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Here's here's the Like, Okay, let's do the turkey. Fine, fine,
then let's pick our spots and the vegetable. Every vegetables
to be fried and fucking cream sauce and cream mushroom
with bread crumbs and onions on top. I'm not I
don't care. There's no way you want that all at
the same time. That's a problem, absolutely not. Like let's
(13:59):
have an nice, fresh, gorgeous vegetable to balance out the
sweet potatoes. But then like, let's do that, let's have
the let's have the cranber and it's not a weight thing.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I don't even care.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
It's just like I want to gag two minutes into
the buffet and we're like hoarding and crowding the plates
so like because we're not because we have to like
pick our spots, and then we're going back and they're like,
I'm disgusto and gross, and I don't like peacam pie.
I don't need perade nuts, Like fine, a couple of
(14:31):
bites of pumpkin pie. Like give me a hot fudge sunday.
Give me some fucking chocolate molten cake with some good
gorgeous or big like giant layer cake with gorgeous frosting.
Don't pretend you like peacmpie as much as just a
beautiful piece of birthday cake from publics. Don't fucking pretend
I'd rather have ice cream cake or a gorgeous chocolate
cake with multiple layers any day. Don't sell me peacam pie.
(14:55):
I'm not buying it. I don't need like a pile
of nuts after I've eaten every fucking food category in
the universe.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Modesighter while we're at it.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Honestly, I want to go and get a gastric bypass
after Thanksgiving, and I don't want it. And the conversation
is to say you're being waterboarded. Everyone's like getting on.
Why aren't you singing? Why are you single? You're eating
too much? What happened to this? Why are you not
with that person? Who'd you vote for? I don't know why.
At least Christmas has a distraction of gifts and presents
(15:29):
and kids running around and Holliday cheer and gingerbread in
the tree and all these fucking activities and Sanna and
his sleigh and masks. Let's go to math, break it up.
Thanksgiving is just like it's like it's like the way
that they stuff, like they what do they do for
fuag garas they stuff some animal? Whether they inject them
(15:49):
with goosefat or something, I don't know, whatever it is,
it's how I feel. I don't like Thanksgiving. And when
I cook Thanksgiving I smell like onions for two weeks.
I like everything. I can't even I don't want to
eat it. I smell like sage and rosemary. It's under
my nails. I don't like the way it feels. It's
all over my clothes. It's I don't like that either.
(16:10):
The difference between something I have cooked, which is excellent.
I happen to be a good cook and something that's
like sort of above average. The swing isn't big enough
for me to want every item of clothing that's in
my home, in my closet to smell like Parsley, rosemary,
sage stuffing and fucking turkey fat. I can't wait for
all the unfollows I'm gonna get. I know you guys
(16:31):
think I am a grouch and a screwge. I don't care.
I feel free. I feel liberated. I fucking set it
and the origin of the Thanksgiving story too. My friends
are from Canada, France. They don't do it. I cling
to them. Two years I did it alone. One year
I jumped into the ocean in the Hamptons. It's not
(16:52):
my haul. Some people hate Halloween. They don't like the costumes,
they don't like the pressure. Some people hate New Year's Eve.
They don't like it. What does it need to be
all and dreamsy to come true? I'm exhausted. I don't
want to stay awake. I'm a loser.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I'm alone.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
This holiday season is not for the fucking faint of heart.
Like it gets real, it gets real, lonely. Anything you
are you're not rich enough, you have bills, you're not
with your kids enough, your kids aren't with you. You're alone,
you're too single, you're divorced, you're miserable in your marriage.
You're divided. Your husband gets the kids this year. It's
(17:24):
not for the faint of heart. Like I know, we
have to make things meaningful. But do not invest your
whole life into these holidays because they will fucking run
you over like a freight train. Period story in film
at eleven
I don't want to be defined by who I am
or am not dating. So let me just tell you
what goes on with me and my love life, my
love life, my dating era, my adventure era. I've gotten
married on television. I've been paid to expose my personal life.
That was the name of the game, that was what
(00:33):
I signed up for. I've been through the rumor mil
a very public, negative divorce where I couldn't use my
own voice and say what I was going through. I
was terrified that they would be repercussions for explaining that
I was going through hell, and I was painted to
be the villain and the person who's quiet and isn't
(00:55):
getting their words out, particularly when you're in the public
I or even in your I was called the culled Deza,
the person who's saying nothing everybody else gets to just
spin rumors about. So then I left reality TV, and
that was very vindicating and very liberating because I decided
that I wanted some version of a private life. Now
that's laughable given the fact that I'm in the media
pretty much every day, but I wanted to try to
(01:18):
have some version of a private life. I was in
a relationship for years a very meaningful, very significant relationship,
and it's tempting. You're in a relationship with someone, You're
out at a restaurant and you're trying something and you
want to share it with your followers, and you want
to include the person you're with. You also want to
share the person you're with with your followers, and they
get invested, and you want to inspire them that they
(01:40):
too could meet someone. You also want to let them
know that you're not miserable anymore, that you're happy. But
finding someone doesn't mean you're happy. We cannot be defined
by who we're with, and I really don't want that
to be my identity. What happens is you meet someone
and people are invested in it, and they ride with
(02:01):
you to the top, and then you break up, and
then they ride with you to the bottom, and they
want to know why. And it has to be someone's fault.
Someone did something wrong, someone cheated on someone, someone couldn't
handle the other person. Someone's the villain, someone's the hero.
In some cases, people just break up. It could be
for religious differences. It could be parenting styled. It could
(02:22):
be the blending didn't work. It could be for money.
It could be long distance. It could be someone's career
is too important to them at that time. It could
be timing. It could be just someone's in a toxic
period in their life. It could be addiction. There are
a million things that could be going on. It could
be a previous divorce or not ready yet. It could
(02:42):
be anxiety. There are a million reasons why people break
up and why people get together, and everybody wants to
assign something that makes them feel better. So it's like,
if two people break up that seemed perfect and you're
feeling bad about yourself, you want it to be that
someone cheated on the other person because that makes you
feel bad about when you were cheated on, or it
makes you feel better that that person is alone, because
(03:04):
you're alone. And that's how people operate sadly, and people
really want to sabotage others' happiness, and that's really sad.
And when you are the most unhappy is when you
want to talk badly about other people and their relationships.
And when you're the happiest, you're just happy for everyone,
and you are sad when people are in pain, even
if you don't like those people. And I have been
(03:29):
in a dating era and I've shared many of the
stories with you about fails and pink flags and red
flags and you know, fears and advice, and I've tried
to maintain a level of privacy, not just for myself
but for other people. Now sometimes, as I've mentioned to you,
that's challenging because a person with you is now with you,
(03:50):
and they want that to be known because they don't
want you to seem like you're single. So you want
to include them in some way. You know, I've taken
a picture of someone that I've been out with or
that I liked, holding their hand, but like facing the
other way to acknowledge them, to not marginalize them. And
the truth is any version of public scrutiny is not
a good idea. It's just difficult to navigate. And the
(04:13):
reason you read so many celebrity breakups, even probably more
than normal breakups, and so many reality television breakups, is
because the fish bowl is intense and it seems fun
for a minute, but it's a rose and it has
petals and thorns. It's fun when everyone's so into you
and it seems great, and it crashes and burn. Look
at Jalo and ban Afleck, Look at everybody, and so
(04:34):
you try to maintain a level of privacy but also
be inclusive with the person that you're with. And the
truth of my dating life is it's been a dating life.
I was in Miami and I was wearing a ring
that I've had for years that Dennis, my ex fiance,
bought me at Beauty and Essex at their pawn shop.
And it's a flexible diamond ring. And it doesn't fit
(04:55):
on my right hand and it gets swollen, it will
get trapped, and so I wear on my left hand
because I don't really care, Like I don't care about
a left hand or a right hand, Like nobody said that,
Like your left hand has to mean anything any more
than a man wearing an earring in the right air
means he's gay or straight or weird things like I
don't care about that.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
I really just don't. I like jewelry.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
I'm not giving up a prime real estate finger, you
know that used to have a gorgeous diamond ring on
it for what society gives a shit about.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
It's stupid.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I've said it out loud. I could wear a diamond
on there. I could buy a giant twenty carret diamond
and put it on my left hand. Leave me alone.
I'm not engaged, and I've been dating it and I've
been happy, and I've been out and I've traveled and
I've gone out to dinner. But there's nothing to discuss
until there's something to discuss. And you guys know me,
While I don't want to share every intimate detail about
(05:43):
my relationship every day because that hasn't served me. My
divorce was traumatic and that being so public was a nightmare,
like an absolute nightmare. And a breakup that I went
through was terrible because it became public. It had been
private for six months and it was so peaceful and
I was like, wait, wow, I get to feel normal,
go through it and break up and like experience it
(06:04):
on my own. And then something happened and it exploded
into the universe and then people knew about it, and
that sucked. And now I'm just trying to meet people
and date and have an interesting life and connect and
experience love and intimacy, and I just don't want any
(06:25):
time I go into the ocean and I'm wearing a
diamond ring that doesn't look anything like an engagement ring,
that this means that I'm engaged. I just don't want
these labels to define me. What if I want to
be happy and that means not knowing what the end
will be. What if I don't know if I ever
want to get engaged. What if I don't know if
I ever want to get married. What if I do
(06:46):
end up getting married. What if I say to myself,
I only want to be with someone who has older kids,
but I meet someone who has younger kids. What if
I meet someone amazing and I want to blend with
them but it doesn't work. What if I meet some
that's long distance?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
What if? What if? What if? Like?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
What if we explore? What if we date and we explore?
Men are allowed to sleep around, date, be a player,
and not be defined by their every stupid decision. And
a woman is with someone they're supposed to be so desperate,
so happy they got the guy, They want to get
the ring, they want to lock it down like that's archaic,
(07:23):
that's not good for women. We could be Martha Stewart.
We could end up alone in our eighties, with beautiful
people around us, great pets of full life, a great career,
still relevant, working, hanging out with Snoop and not in
a relationship because she seems like she didn't want it
or it didn't work for her, she couldn't find the
one she wanted. Martha Stewart is an example of someone
(07:45):
who probably doesn't want to eat something that's mid So
if she didn't find a relationship that seems above average,
she probably isn't willing to settle. Maybe she's difficult, maybe
she's better alone. Why is this judged? Why does everybody
have to do what everybody else thinks they want you
to do. I'm wearing diamonds wherever I want. I could
wear diamonds on every finger and every toe and it
(08:08):
doesn't mean I'm engaged. I believe that based on the
relationship we have. I will tell you if I'm engaged,
I'd be You'd be probably the first people i'd tell.
The media cannot explain what's going on in my life.
I'll explain what's going on in my life in other
(08:38):
ba Humbug Ebenezer Scrooge news. I love giving thanks, I
genuinely do. I am thankful, I am grateful. I'm always
I'm annoying about it, Like I'm in Paris Fashion Week
with Loriel and I'm like Oh my god, can you
guys believe I'm on the day one of Apprentice like
stalking everyone to be as grateful and thankful and appreciative
and in the moment and centered as I am, Like,
(08:59):
shut fucking whole. But guess what, I don't like Thanksgiving.
I don't like Thanksgiving. Why it's a perfectly good long
weekend that I want to go away somewhere and utilize
it with my daughter because I'm so I have to
adhere to her school schedule so tight, and she can't
take a minute off because it's a fucking it's insane
(09:21):
in there, and like the sports and the academics and
the pressure, so we can never miss a day. So
it's a perfectly good weekend that it's bad travel on
this day. It's bad travel on the day after. It's
Black Friday. On this day, it's a whole. It's a
common deared weekend that is also about marketing the slaughtering
of turkeys, And yes, I eat chicken, I eat steak,
So it seems hypocritical, but it's not, because it's a
(09:44):
mass slaughtering and there's so much waste on a food
that's never great. You're gonna say your chicken's juicy. Yours
is moist. Fine, great, it's sometimes there's parts that are moist.
There's always some fucking dry part. And it's a giant
thing and it's sloppy, and no one's making like turkey
soup and a giant cauldron. The net like the waste
is ad nauseum, all the sloppy, sloppy disgusto ziplock bags
(10:09):
because now you're wasting plastic.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Now you're fucking the environment.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Because it's like you have to have a plastic lifestyle
just to go with the leftover turkey that no one's
gonna fucking eat. You eat one sandwich for the gimmick
and the whole thing, the turkey terrific with the turkey,
the stuffing, the cramber, and the next day you want
to throw it against the wall.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
You don't want to see it anymore.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
You don't want to see like the lard laden interior
of a ziplock bag. It looks ratchet. Something's leaking all
over your car. Now you gotta fucking steam clean your
car because you needed to not waste the turkey that
was mass slaughtered and marketed when it's not that great
of food.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Like, why these motherfuckers.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Why Okay, why Kobe beef that's been massaged. Okay, they
died for a good and noble cause. Turkeys the dumbest
fucking animals that don't get on a plane out of
here to another country because they fucking know, because their
own friends know that they're going down in November, and
they can hear everyone talking about it.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
In October. Popeye's is fucking gearing up. Tell your friends
and guess what.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
The fried turkey, the Cajun turkey, the Asian turkey, dispatchcock turkey,
the turkey terrific, the turkey fucking skewers, turkey soup, turkey,
leave turkey, taco.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Nobody wants a turkey taco. Stop stop justifying the slaughtering
of an animal that doesn't fucking taste great.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
It tastes good.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
I'll give you sliced cold cuts, thinly slice that I'll
give you, but then it's bad for you, nitrates. This
is wrong, that's wrong. It's not real turkey, like shut
stop stop it. The only time I ever enjoyed a
turkey was when I fucking marinated it within an inch
of its life. I gave it a salt rub. I
made it in an air fire, just the turkey breast,
(11:55):
not the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
But what are we gonna do? Only kill?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
It's like killing for fucking skilling, killing stripper. We're like
killing strippers. We only want you for your beautiful breasts.
Like now we're gonna kill all these fucking turkeys for
the one. Yes, some grandfather wants to not a drumstick, great,
most people don't want the big drumstick. Those are all
going to Disneyland where they're only eating drumstick. Where is
the rest of the turkey going? I just don't like it.
(12:21):
I don't like it. I don't trust it. I don't
like it. And we only like turkey's big, perfect tits.
We only want the white meat breast, that's what we want.
I don't like it. So yes, I want to travel
on Thanksgiving. I want to fly on that fucking day
(12:42):
when no one's fine. Go somewhere great, ignore it, not
murder all the birds for the waste and the pressure
and the stress. I don't care. And I also I
don't know. I don't love the whole meal. It's a
it's a fucking onslaught, and it's waterboarding, Like, I don't
need sweet cranberries with sweet sweet potatoes, with sweet marshmallows,
(13:06):
with sweet pecans, with sweet pumpkin pie at the same
fucking time. Oh, let's candy some walnuts on the salad
that has dried cranberries in it. But also let's jam
some fucking corn bread up the turkey with the cranberries.
What are we doing? Are we all trying to be diabetic?
Like we're doing this all the same time. No wonder
everyone's sleeping until Valentine's Day. Why it's not normal. It's
(13:32):
not normal.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
We don't.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Here's here's the Like, Okay, let's do the turkey. Fine, fine,
then let's pick our spots and the vegetable. Every vegetables
to be fried and fucking cream sauce and cream mushroom
with bread crumbs and onions on top. I'm not I
don't care. There's no way you want that all at
the same time. That's a problem, absolutely not. Like let's
(13:59):
have an nice, fresh, gorgeous vegetable to balance out the
sweet potatoes. But then like, let's do that, let's have
the let's have the cranber and it's not a weight thing.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I don't even care.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
It's just like I want to gag two minutes into
the buffet and we're like hoarding and crowding the plates
so like because we're not because we have to like
pick our spots, and then we're going back and they're like,
I'm disgusto and gross, and I don't like peacam pie.
I don't need perade nuts, Like fine, a couple of
(14:31):
bites of pumpkin pie. Like give me a hot fudge sunday.
Give me some fucking chocolate molten cake with some good
gorgeous or big like giant layer cake with gorgeous frosting.
Don't pretend you like peacmpie as much as just a
beautiful piece of birthday cake from publics. Don't fucking pretend
I'd rather have ice cream cake or a gorgeous chocolate
cake with multiple layers any day. Don't sell me peacam pie.
(14:55):
I'm not buying it. I don't need like a pile
of nuts after I've eaten every fucking food category in
the universe.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Modesighter while we're at it.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Honestly, I want to go and get a gastric bypass
after Thanksgiving, and I don't want it. And the conversation
is to say you're being waterboarded. Everyone's like getting on.
Why aren't you singing? Why are you single? You're eating
too much? What happened to this? Why are you not
with that person? Who'd you vote for? I don't know why.
At least Christmas has a distraction of gifts and presents
(15:29):
and kids running around and Holliday cheer and gingerbread in
the tree and all these fucking activities and Sanna and
his sleigh and masks. Let's go to math, break it up.
Thanksgiving is just like it's like it's like the way
that they stuff, like they what do they do for
fuag garas they stuff some animal? Whether they inject them
(15:49):
with goosefat or something, I don't know, whatever it is,
it's how I feel. I don't like Thanksgiving. And when
I cook Thanksgiving I smell like onions for two weeks.
I like everything. I can't even I don't want to
eat it. I smell like sage and rosemary. It's under
my nails. I don't like the way it feels. It's
all over my clothes. It's I don't like that either.
(16:10):
The difference between something I have cooked, which is excellent.
I happen to be a good cook and something that's
like sort of above average. The swing isn't big enough
for me to want every item of clothing that's in
my home, in my closet to smell like Parsley, rosemary,
sage stuffing and fucking turkey fat. I can't wait for
all the unfollows I'm gonna get. I know you guys
(16:31):
think I am a grouch and a screwge. I don't care.
I feel free. I feel liberated. I fucking set it
and the origin of the Thanksgiving story too. My friends
are from Canada, France. They don't do it. I cling
to them. Two years I did it alone. One year
I jumped into the ocean in the Hamptons. It's not
(16:52):
my haul. Some people hate Halloween. They don't like the costumes,
they don't like the pressure. Some people hate New Year's Eve.
They don't like it. What does it need to be
all and dreamsy to come true? I'm exhausted. I don't
want to stay awake. I'm a loser.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I'm alone.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
This holiday season is not for the fucking faint of heart.
Like it gets real, it gets real, lonely. Anything you
are you're not rich enough, you have bills, you're not
with your kids enough, your kids aren't with you. You're alone,
you're too single, you're divorced, you're miserable in your marriage.
You're divided. Your husband gets the kids this year. It's
(17:24):
not for the faint of heart. Like I know, we
have to make things meaningful. But do not invest your
whole life into these holidays because they will fucking run
you over like a freight train. Period story in film
at eleven
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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