Just B Rant: Is Divorce like the Death of a Dream?

The world was rocked by the break-up of the seemingly perfect couple of Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen. What happened, and are they truly done? Bethenny takes a deep dive into their relationship and break-up as well as what the factors could mean for all couples.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Can I please hope that Giselle and Tom Brady get
back together? Can that just happen? Because they both were
an extraordinary couple, not just because they're both physically beautiful,
but because they're both outrageously successful, and they seemed to

(00:34):
be successful at marriage as well, having two very public,
astronomically lucrative and successful careers and sustaining a marriage together
under the spotlight while maintaining some normalcy, which they definitely did.
They weren't flaunting themselves in the media. We would see

(00:58):
them at the met gala, thank god, because that was
beautiful specimen to see. But it wasn't like they were
out there all the time. She was in Boston being
a mom to the kids and them living in Boston
is very provincial. It's a very conservative town, and so

(01:19):
her having that life there and sure making friends and
building an infrastructure there, that alone means that they've put
family first, and yes, his career, but it just seems
like they really built a nice life for themselves and
then things started to crumble, which does happen. I don't

(01:42):
know how many years they were married, but like they say,
the seven year itch and I think they were together
longer than that. I have to look that up. But
so then they get divorced, and of course, because there's
so much money, of course it's going to be a
contentious divorce. There's just so much money. I'm not even
sure at one point she had more money than him.

(02:03):
I'm sure not when they were getting divorced, because she
had slowed her career down. But they both maintained a
class about them from what I see. I haven't been
under the hood and paid microscopic attention, but I think
that they both really did keep the divorce as classy
as possible. Yes, it was public, and I don't know

(02:24):
who was leaking everything, but I guess divorce is scary
and it's just like public and both of their reputations
seem like they're getting trashed at the time, and so
who knows who's talking. But now Giselle did this interview,
and I guess the way that the question was posed

(02:45):
to her about you know, is it the death of
a dream? It triggered her like she couldn't get past
the next question, and she got stuck in it, and
her emotions got stuck in it. It wasn't like she
just heard what was asked of her. It was like

(03:05):
she felt what was asked of her. And nothing's worse
than like the death of a dream. I mean, that's
that's so poetic, because there's nothing worse than feeling like
and remembering back to when everything was great and that
dream dying. And there's nothing worse than knowing someone for

(03:25):
so long and then being part of your life and
then being your everything and the first and last person
you call and your sounding board. And she was so
protective of him on the field, and she went obviously
to all the games, but just it was just a
beautiful family. And so the death of that dream is brutal.
That's kind of what divorce is. Someone who becomes your

(03:48):
every single thing and your life lifeblood, and your partner
and part of you and your best friend and your
confidant and you you know, business partner and therapist and
co parent and teammate, and that one day dissolves and

(04:08):
they become somebody you used to know. And it makes
sense that he would date Arena Shake and she would
date the jiu jitsu instructor, and you know, that's great,
but it feels like it's really hard to replace that
family feeling and that solidarity that they had, and that's

(04:29):
what divorce does. And it was a big argument years
ago on a TV show about one person said that
a divorce is like a death, and someone else got
very mad because that person isn't all around this earth.
But I understood that statement because I think the divorce
is like a death, and it is a death of
a dream, and it's like a death in the family,

(04:52):
and it affects everyone, and maybe the grass isn't always greener,
and they're realizing that they had a beautiful life and
that they're going to get old one day and what
are they going to do and what are they going
to want? And I think that that's what happens in
the aftermath of a divorce, Like it's different when you're

(05:15):
going through it. And I'm sure them fighting that was
like a project in and of itself, and everything seems
like a good idea and you're not happy. So they
weren't happy, and he wanted to go back to football
and she didn't want him to and she didn't want
to move to Tampa or whatever went on in their relationship,
and it was her turn and he had it had

(05:37):
been his turn for so many years. We saw that
with Victoria Beckham, and she wanted to move to the
States or she wanted her own life. I don't remember.
I saw the documentary and I just know that it
was so many years of him wanting to go here,
and him wanted to go there, and finally it felt
like enough, like it needs to be we need to
be done with this life. So it's sad. I think death.

(06:00):
Divorce is a death, and it is sad. And I
hope they get back together. I hope they get back
together or at least are really good friends and like
they're like family anyway. But I would like them to
get back together. That's my vote for Tom and Giselle.

(06:27):
Is divorce like a death. So Robin Roberts interviewed Giselle
and asked her if her divorce was like the death
of a dream, and it triggered her. And my feeling
is that divorce is like a death. It's a loss.

(06:49):
It's a loss of a life together. It's a loss
of a friend, a partner, a relationship, a co parent,
and it's a lot of a life as you once knew.
Like it's it's like a it's a death of what
it was. That is deb that is no longer And

(07:13):
people and myself have said that you do see who
a person is when you get divorced from them, and
you would want to marry someone that in divorce it
would be the best that it could possibly be. And
I believe that because I've been through the worst possible
divorce that I've seen, barring physical abuse, and I think

(07:37):
it is like a death, and I do think it
is a tremendous traumatic experience. But I think that you
do see who a person is in divorce. But I
also think it's the most extreme of circumstances because you're
seeing a person in the midst of desperation because they

(07:59):
feel like there's been a death. So people act in trauma,
so people feel that they've lost everything, that life will
never be the same. That it is a death. It's
the death of how much you lived with and saw

(08:23):
your kids. It's the death of what holidays meant to you,
what they were to you. It's the death of tradition.
It's the death of that partnership. It's the death of
what your life will be like growing old together and
what you envision that to be. It's the death of

(08:48):
your kids sports games and your husband's sports games and
just all of your partnership. It's the death of a partnership.
So it is the death of a dream. And I
think that that was a poetic and triggering question. And

(09:09):
I hope that Giselle and Tom get back together because
maybe they want the dream together. It's very scary to
think about the death of a dream. It's a very
very very powerful concept. And marriage and partnership and relationship

(09:33):
is about dreaming and hoping, and they were at a
certain point in their relationship and maybe they felt the
dream had died, but maybe they can get the dream back.
Tom Brady retired and then he went back in, so
they retired, and maybe they'll go back in. That would

(09:53):
be my wish.