December 22, 2023 • 16 mins
Bethenny sounds off on handling the pressures of being mom -- while actually being a mom. Plus, the secret to emerging from the holidays as the best version of you.
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
Many of you are mothers. I don't know if you
have teens.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Without getting into too much detail, it is a time
of pressure. It's a time of peer pressure, it's a
time of acne, emotions, hormones, homework. You go from being
a baby to a person. I mean, you go from
sports just being fun to them getting actually competitive and
realizing you're good or bad at something.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
It's a really hard time.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
And like I said, without getting into too much detail,
it's been there's been a bit of challenge in my
house with a certain workload and pressure and stress. And
you know, we hear that teens are under the most pressure.
And it's a terrible, terrible time, not just with friends
(00:58):
and peer groups, but just with personal pressure. And you
could have a child that either doesn't have motivation, or
has too much motivation, or puts a tremendous amount of
pressure on themselves or whatever. And I think that this
time of year really stresses parents out, and it's also
a culmination and it stresses children out. And I have
a trip plant where we're taking off two days of school,
(01:20):
and i'd been feeling a little bit not guilty about that.
I play this game where I only want to miss
a certain amount of school because you can't miss school,
and it's a life experience. And there's a trip that's
to Australia in the spring that's also a life experience.
And I've been feeling this pressure about it where I
don't want her to miss much school. And then all
of a sudden, two nights ago, you know, my daughter
(01:41):
was going through it. Let's just say that she's going
through it. I was going through it. I've got my
own stuff going on, and in this house there was
just a lot of emotion and they were at a
fever pitch. And yesterday I basically called in an emotional
like a well day. If there can be a snow
day where it's snowing outside and it's impossible to get
(02:04):
to school, there can be a well day where your
kid or you and your kid, or something's going on
or your kid has to go in late, or whatever
it is has to happen. Like pressure can be great.
And I know that my daughter wanted to get up
really early to get to school, and we had been
up late because there was stuff going on, and I
(02:25):
don't like for her to just set an alarm super
early because the pressure can be so great with the sports,
which you guys know, and the school load, the school workload,
and I basically said, I'm not waking her up. I
knew she was exhausted and I wasn't waking her up.
I knew she was like, no, Mom, I can't I
have to. I can't miss this class. I can't miss
this thing. I can't that the pressure like it felt
(02:47):
like me being you know, like I can't miss this
business trip. There was a business trip I had to
take that I just took, and I was on the
phone with her during one of the very important business lunches.
It was for Forever Young. It was in Texas.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I apologized to the group.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
We were at this restaurant called Steak Yard and it
was a whole sales group for Forever Young in Texas.
And I spent probably a fifth of it on the
phone in the other room because my daughter was going
through something and that's my priority and everyone just has
to know that. And I was coming home flying first
class as I do for business and ninety nine percent
of the time, and it's for privacy reasons, and I've
(03:23):
at this level. I just I feel like I've earned it,
and I pay for it. And it's worth it. And
I want to just be able to lay down and
it's work, travel and et cetera. And I'm lucky to
be able to do that. And I wanted to get
home to be with my daughter two hours early. And
I flew coach, middle seat, and I lost my iPad.
Many people are middle seat coach. No one's crying for me.
(03:43):
But I knew that I could fly first class, but
I wanted to get home to.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
My daughter earlier.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
And the next and she said she couldn't miss the
first classes. And the next morning, I just said, basta done.
We're both taking a well day. That's that's what it is.
And she slept through the alarm and I just said,
that's it. We're taking the day. And it took her
a while to like unwine from everything that she was
(04:08):
going through, and she finally just said, you know what,
I'm just gonna take the day with you. And we
tasted cotton candy cakes and she's like, I never get
to do the food tastings with you because I get
sent so much stuff now because of this influencer life,
and so there's fun stuff around. There's a coconut cake,
and there's a pizza, and there's panatona, and there's and
there panatoni or whatever you call it, and there's like
(04:28):
a cotton candy cake, et cetera. And we just did
that and like made our own lunch and comfort food
and soup and rice and like hung out. And I'm
not the parent who needs my kids to get straight
a's and is like we need to go to MIT.
I think that parents put so much pressure on kids too.
And you have to listen to your kids. You have
to not just verbally what they're saying, but listen to
(04:50):
their body language, listen to are they breaking out? Are
they how are they? And you have to check in
with your kids. And parents push their kids and that's okay.
There's a level like yoga. Yoga is like you're to
push yourself a little, to stretch yourself, but not to
where it's painful. And I think that's a good lesson
in life for people. You could just stretch yourself pros
(05:11):
play herd. I say, stretch yourself, but not to where
it's painful and not to where you're going to break.
And then I came home and instead of just like
following the normal life rules of I'm gonna go to bed.
At ten thirty, we got into bed. She had like
this like these heat like this like roller device, like
this piece of cloth or something she like weaves into
her hair, and she was laying with the babies.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
They were all over her.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
And we watched a Christmas movie until late like and
then we talked and laughed in bed till like one
in the morning. And then today I let her sleep
late again, like made her you know, did not wake
her up. And we need it, they need it. We
break down. And it's the time of year right now,
the holidays. It's a marketed time. The calendar tells us
this is a time. And then we're gonna have the
(05:54):
New year, and everything's gonna be better. You know, mondays
are gonna be diet days in January first that the
world going to change.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
And it's like very pressure filled.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Forget that it's like joyous and Mariah Carey and lights
and trees and all that stuff. It's a fucking pressure
filled time and everyone's scrambling.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Like a maniac.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Did I finish my test, did I get my did
I pass? Did I get my U? Did I give
the bonuses out? Did I get my bonus? Did I
buy the gifts? Did I get the same gifts as
the other kids? Did I get the right gift?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
You know?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Where am I going? Did I pick the right menu?
Am I catering? Am I cooking? Am I having people over?
Are we doing your house? Do you have to be
with your parents? Do you have to be with my parents?
Are my kids not going to be here? Is that
going to make me sad? Is my kid away in
the army at war and I feel lonely? Is my
husband away at the army and I feel lonely? Like
you know, it's a shit show, to be honest, And
(06:43):
I don't want to be like the hater or the
doom sayer, but it's a shit show. The wheels are
fucking coming off this time of year for everybody, And
even if it's not directly affecting, like if a kid
isn't the one buying the present or giving the bonuses
or finishing up the end of year work tasks, they're
feeling our energy. And there's just like a scramble and
a scramble at school because whatever teachers they have or
(07:04):
principle they have, it's happening there too. So give yourself
a fucking break, and many times like, don't go away,
don't put the pressure on yourself, lay down, relax, be home,
be in your pajamas, like whatever that means. But if
you decide you want to live a healthier life, or
you want to meditate, or you want to breathe, or
you want to take a day, you don't have to
wait till January first. You could do it December twenty fifth,
(07:26):
like it doesn't matter. It gets a little crazy. Paul
and I talk about this all the time. It's like
from three weeks ago, Oh my god, what are we doing?
What are we doing on that day? And are you
doing that on that day? And a were going to
be to gather that day? And do we go there?
Do we go here? Your parents, my parents, his parents,
their parents, my food, your food, my present, your present,
my vacation, your vacation, you know, the teachers, the gifts,
everyone's losing their fucking minds. So I would just say,
(07:49):
give yourself a goddamn break, whatever that means to you.
And we watched last night the movie it's called The
Family Stone, and it's it's an oldie.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
It's a real oldie.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
You can see their television is like from the Flintstones,
and it's with Diane Keaton and it's with Sarah Jessica Parker,
Luke Wilson, Claire Danes, Dermott mulrooney. And it's become one
of our rituals the way that people watch love actually
or like, you know, any Christmas movie. She Britain loves
(08:35):
Holiday also, this one is our favorite one. Why because
it's flawed, like it has an unexpected outcome, and it's
about like the craziness and a family and they're dealing
with everything. And Britta's so perceptive because we were watching
it for the probably fourth time or fifth time in
our lives, and she said, you know what I love
(08:56):
about this movie.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
It's not perfect.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
And she said, and all the other holiday movies just
thrown together, you know, like they're made in some like
holiday movie factory where they just put together to like
rom comedy type of people and make it like a different.
Oh now it's now it's now, it's too lesbians. Now,
it's too gay man. Now it's a black man and
a white woman. Now it's a white woman and an
Asian man. Now it's sisters. Now it's but it's all
the same plot you know, someone's rushing somewhere, can't get
(09:18):
there by Christmas, stressing out, falls in love with the
unexpected person, goes to their house, brings them home for
the holidays. Like it's all the same movie. This is
not the same movie. It's an excellent, excellent, excellent watch.
So I suggest you watch it. It's really great. I
love it and like we stayed up late watching that,
so that was amazing. Let's talk about exercising and the
(09:41):
holidays and the stress and the pressure. And I'm talking
about this a lot because I really am feeling it.
So maybe I'm just talking about me, but I'm feeling it.
I'm feeling at this time of year, and I just
want to say that you don't let the wheels fully
come off. If you are a person who's consuming more
than you usually do and eating more than you usually do.
Don't do the following, which don't need to do is
(10:02):
say it's almost like a binge and a purge. Don't
say like fuck it, it doesn't matter. January first, my
whole life is gonna change. I'm doing this, like just
say right now, I'm doing this, meaning you know, I
was eating all this cake and testing all these products,
and like it was cake and French fries and grossness,
and I felt like a garbage can.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
So I just decided to take it.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Into my own hands now, Like I got some period
soups this weekend and some juices, and I'm drinking my
hydration packets and I'm like trying to keep it together
because the last thing you want to do is just
be around the holidays drinking too much, eating too much,
already feeling slovenly, trying to put on que clothes and
like just not feeling good. Like try to make yourself
(10:46):
feel good even during the holidays, because nothing's gonna happen
next year that didn't happen this year. I just don't
want to make you feel bad. But it's not but
it could happen today, and it could happen in the
next moment. I can promise you this. You're not gonna
like blow yourself up the next couple weeks. And then
January second, Angel of Perfection is gonna come up and
show up because something else is gonna come up. Then,
Oh it's Valentine's Day, It's Martin Luther King Day. Oh,
(11:06):
it's this, it's that. Let's get into Memorial Day. Let's
get into fourth of July. It's a bunch of bolt
Let's get into Easter. It's a bunch of bullshit. So
just get your shit together now. I don't mean you're
supposed to be like on a juice fast or at
a spa. I just mean I'm not a I in
my twenties and thirties I was. I'll be good tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
I would blow myself up today.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I would eat bags of chips, pints of ice cream,
andimen cakes, pizzas from Dominoes. Blow myself up, be swollen,
feel like shit tomorrow. Not eat for two days like
that is not great. So I'm talking about that being
what people do this whole holiday season. They just chalk
this whole fucking thing up to a loss. And it's
not a loss. It's a time you're at home, you're resting,
try to be healthy, make meaning out of it. I
(11:45):
don't really exercise, so I don't know what to tell
you about that. I think about it. I wish I
was someone who did it more. I used to do
it more. I don't know if it's just getting to
this age. I just value rest so much. The idea
of waking up and panicking and running to go work out.
I wake up, it takes me a fucking forty five
minutes to like get out of my glazed doughnut stage.
And that's if I've been lucky enough to sleep, and
(12:07):
lucky enough to sleep means I'm sleeping and then waking
up and like getting my coffee and then there's stuff
to do. It's very hard to get into working out,
so I do it when I can when I travel.
But my eating is fairly good and healthy and that's
why and I run around like a maniac. I don't
just lay on my ass. And that's why I think
I'm thin. And it's confusing to people because they think
(12:28):
I work out all the time because I'm thin and
I'm not working out all the time.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
And I also know that we cover.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Ourselves up a lot of the time, meaning we're not
in bathing suits twenty four hours a day. And even
though I'm thin, I do have a flat butt, and
I'm sure I probably have some like you know, sagginess,
and I really just don't care. I value rest the most,
and I value time with my daughter, and I value rest.
I value relaxation more than I value exercise, So that's
just something that I don't think is going to change
(12:55):
in twenty twenty four. So I don't want to set
myself up for disaster by making these big, sweeping statements.
If I were to change that, I would change it
right now. Focus on maybe not drinking as much, maybe
not eating everything all day long. If you've got the cake,
taste the cake, but don't have the alcohol. If you're
having the bread, have some bread but don't have the cake.
(13:16):
Like mix things around, try to eat what you want
in smaller portions. Try to just think about collecting yourself.
Make yourself a full plate that you know what it is.
This is what I'm having for this meal, not like
you're constantly going back to the trough and then you
don't know what happened. Not just shoving or dirves in
your mouth off a tray that you're not like quantifying.
(13:36):
I don't like to say count because you're not gonna count,
but it just means, okay, I'm gonna have myself a
few desserts, one glass of wine or two spritzers or
something that make it last longer, or nurse my drink
or drink water in between, and then I'll have a
couple of orders. This is exactly how many. I ate
some soup or something at my house before I left,
so I didn't go ravenous to a party grabbing at everything,
(13:58):
grabbing at a bread basket, bad idea. And then just
try to like maintain what you're going to do. You
got you have a plate, you might have a buffet,
and try to make a plan before you dive in.
And all the hot chocolate and all the eggnog and
all the fricking Starbucks lattes and all that stuff it
adds up. So just try to like keep a hold
of yourself as you go, not like tomorrow, not in January,
(14:21):
just like right now. I don't care if you just
ate three pieces of cake for breakfast, have a nice
light salad for lunch, and a piece of salmon for dinner,
and just clean it up. Just don't get obsessive, because
I just don't believe that that's gonna be good for
your mental health. And it's depressing right now. The weather.
It's fucking dark at five o'clock. I feel like I'm
in a cave. So lean into that, make a nice fire,
(14:41):
you know, relax at home, meditate, stretch, sleep, but just
don't lean into four pints of ice cream. And if
you're faced with those big pop quornantines, take a bowl
and decide how much of that you're gonna have. If
you've got some cupcakes and Christmas cookies, have one. Keep
it moving. You don't have to indulge in everything you
see because that create more emotional anxiety for you, and
(15:02):
that will mean that like you're just gonna not be
as happy and you're just gonna be just it's anxiety
ridden and producing producing to be talking about like it's fine,
it's fine when I'm doing now was I'm gonna clean
it up later and you all know what I'm talking about.
But don't set yourself up for unrealistic once January comes
either too. I'm joining the gym, I'm buying leg warmers,
(15:23):
I've got a headband, let's go.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Like just just just.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Relax overall, just totally try to relax and be realistic
and you know, manage it and you can have a
resolution right now. Whatever you decide to resolve can be
right now, does not have to be on in January.
So I just think that all those types of little
self you know, check help tips are helpful. Have a
(15:48):
happy holiday. Please don't compare yourself to everybody else. Just
really make it meaningful for you, make it loving for you.
Don't feel the pressure of the gifts. Be if there
are so many affordable gifts out there right now, I've
done the whole tour of everything from the Dollar Store
to below five to everything you really can find affordable gifts,
(16:11):
So don't get yourself crazy.
Many of you are mothers. I don't know if you
have teens.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Without getting into too much detail, it is a time
of pressure. It's a time of peer pressure, it's a
time of acne, emotions, hormones, homework. You go from being
a baby to a person. I mean, you go from
sports just being fun to them getting actually competitive and
realizing you're good or bad at something.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
It's a really hard time.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
And like I said, without getting into too much detail,
it's been there's been a bit of challenge in my
house with a certain workload and pressure and stress. And
you know, we hear that teens are under the most pressure.
And it's a terrible, terrible time, not just with friends
(00:58):
and peer groups, but just with personal pressure. And you
could have a child that either doesn't have motivation, or
has too much motivation, or puts a tremendous amount of
pressure on themselves or whatever. And I think that this
time of year really stresses parents out, and it's also
a culmination and it stresses children out. And I have
a trip plant where we're taking off two days of school,
(01:20):
and i'd been feeling a little bit not guilty about that.
I play this game where I only want to miss
a certain amount of school because you can't miss school,
and it's a life experience. And there's a trip that's
to Australia in the spring that's also a life experience.
And I've been feeling this pressure about it where I
don't want her to miss much school. And then all
of a sudden, two nights ago, you know, my daughter
(01:41):
was going through it. Let's just say that she's going
through it. I was going through it. I've got my
own stuff going on, and in this house there was
just a lot of emotion and they were at a
fever pitch. And yesterday I basically called in an emotional
like a well day. If there can be a snow
day where it's snowing outside and it's impossible to get
(02:04):
to school, there can be a well day where your
kid or you and your kid, or something's going on
or your kid has to go in late, or whatever
it is has to happen. Like pressure can be great.
And I know that my daughter wanted to get up
really early to get to school, and we had been
up late because there was stuff going on, and I
(02:25):
don't like for her to just set an alarm super
early because the pressure can be so great with the sports,
which you guys know, and the school load, the school workload,
and I basically said, I'm not waking her up. I
knew she was exhausted and I wasn't waking her up.
I knew she was like, no, Mom, I can't I
have to. I can't miss this class. I can't miss
this thing. I can't that the pressure like it felt
(02:47):
like me being you know, like I can't miss this
business trip. There was a business trip I had to
take that I just took, and I was on the
phone with her during one of the very important business lunches.
It was for Forever Young. It was in Texas.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I apologized to the group.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
We were at this restaurant called Steak Yard and it
was a whole sales group for Forever Young in Texas.
And I spent probably a fifth of it on the
phone in the other room because my daughter was going
through something and that's my priority and everyone just has
to know that. And I was coming home flying first
class as I do for business and ninety nine percent
of the time, and it's for privacy reasons, and I've
(03:23):
at this level. I just I feel like I've earned it,
and I pay for it. And it's worth it. And
I want to just be able to lay down and
it's work, travel and et cetera. And I'm lucky to
be able to do that. And I wanted to get
home to be with my daughter two hours early. And
I flew coach, middle seat, and I lost my iPad.
Many people are middle seat coach. No one's crying for me.
(03:43):
But I knew that I could fly first class, but
I wanted to get home to.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
My daughter earlier.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
And the next and she said she couldn't miss the
first classes. And the next morning, I just said, basta done.
We're both taking a well day. That's that's what it is.
And she slept through the alarm and I just said,
that's it. We're taking the day. And it took her
a while to like unwine from everything that she was
(04:08):
going through, and she finally just said, you know what,
I'm just gonna take the day with you. And we
tasted cotton candy cakes and she's like, I never get
to do the food tastings with you because I get
sent so much stuff now because of this influencer life,
and so there's fun stuff around. There's a coconut cake,
and there's a pizza, and there's panatona, and there's and
there panatoni or whatever you call it, and there's like
(04:28):
a cotton candy cake, et cetera. And we just did
that and like made our own lunch and comfort food
and soup and rice and like hung out. And I'm
not the parent who needs my kids to get straight
a's and is like we need to go to MIT.
I think that parents put so much pressure on kids too.
And you have to listen to your kids. You have
to not just verbally what they're saying, but listen to
(04:50):
their body language, listen to are they breaking out? Are
they how are they? And you have to check in
with your kids. And parents push their kids and that's okay.
There's a level like yoga. Yoga is like you're to
push yourself a little, to stretch yourself, but not to
where it's painful. And I think that's a good lesson
in life for people. You could just stretch yourself pros
(05:11):
play herd. I say, stretch yourself, but not to where
it's painful and not to where you're going to break.
And then I came home and instead of just like
following the normal life rules of I'm gonna go to bed.
At ten thirty, we got into bed. She had like
this like these heat like this like roller device, like
this piece of cloth or something she like weaves into
her hair, and she was laying with the babies.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
They were all over her.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
And we watched a Christmas movie until late like and
then we talked and laughed in bed till like one
in the morning. And then today I let her sleep
late again, like made her you know, did not wake
her up. And we need it, they need it. We
break down. And it's the time of year right now,
the holidays. It's a marketed time. The calendar tells us
this is a time. And then we're gonna have the
(05:54):
New year, and everything's gonna be better. You know, mondays
are gonna be diet days in January first that the
world going to change.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
And it's like very pressure filled.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Forget that it's like joyous and Mariah Carey and lights
and trees and all that stuff. It's a fucking pressure
filled time and everyone's scrambling.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Like a maniac.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Did I finish my test, did I get my did
I pass? Did I get my U? Did I give
the bonuses out? Did I get my bonus? Did I
buy the gifts? Did I get the same gifts as
the other kids? Did I get the right gift?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
You know?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Where am I going? Did I pick the right menu?
Am I catering? Am I cooking? Am I having people over?
Are we doing your house? Do you have to be
with your parents? Do you have to be with my parents?
Are my kids not going to be here? Is that
going to make me sad? Is my kid away in
the army at war and I feel lonely? Is my
husband away at the army and I feel lonely? Like
you know, it's a shit show, to be honest, And
(06:43):
I don't want to be like the hater or the
doom sayer, but it's a shit show. The wheels are
fucking coming off this time of year for everybody, And
even if it's not directly affecting, like if a kid
isn't the one buying the present or giving the bonuses
or finishing up the end of year work tasks, they're
feeling our energy. And there's just like a scramble and
a scramble at school because whatever teachers they have or
(07:04):
principle they have, it's happening there too. So give yourself
a fucking break, and many times like, don't go away,
don't put the pressure on yourself, lay down, relax, be home,
be in your pajamas, like whatever that means. But if
you decide you want to live a healthier life, or
you want to meditate, or you want to breathe, or
you want to take a day, you don't have to
wait till January first. You could do it December twenty fifth,
(07:26):
like it doesn't matter. It gets a little crazy. Paul
and I talk about this all the time. It's like
from three weeks ago, Oh my god, what are we doing?
What are we doing on that day? And are you
doing that on that day? And a were going to
be to gather that day? And do we go there?
Do we go here? Your parents, my parents, his parents,
their parents, my food, your food, my present, your present,
my vacation, your vacation, you know, the teachers, the gifts,
everyone's losing their fucking minds. So I would just say,
(07:49):
give yourself a goddamn break, whatever that means to you.
And we watched last night the movie it's called The
Family Stone, and it's it's an oldie.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
It's a real oldie.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
You can see their television is like from the Flintstones,
and it's with Diane Keaton and it's with Sarah Jessica Parker,
Luke Wilson, Claire Danes, Dermott mulrooney. And it's become one
of our rituals the way that people watch love actually
or like, you know, any Christmas movie. She Britain loves
(08:35):
Holiday also, this one is our favorite one. Why because
it's flawed, like it has an unexpected outcome, and it's
about like the craziness and a family and they're dealing
with everything. And Britta's so perceptive because we were watching
it for the probably fourth time or fifth time in
our lives, and she said, you know what I love
(08:56):
about this movie.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
It's not perfect.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
And she said, and all the other holiday movies just
thrown together, you know, like they're made in some like
holiday movie factory where they just put together to like
rom comedy type of people and make it like a different.
Oh now it's now it's now, it's too lesbians. Now,
it's too gay man. Now it's a black man and
a white woman. Now it's a white woman and an
Asian man. Now it's sisters. Now it's but it's all
the same plot you know, someone's rushing somewhere, can't get
(09:18):
there by Christmas, stressing out, falls in love with the
unexpected person, goes to their house, brings them home for
the holidays. Like it's all the same movie. This is
not the same movie. It's an excellent, excellent, excellent watch.
So I suggest you watch it. It's really great. I
love it and like we stayed up late watching that,
so that was amazing. Let's talk about exercising and the
(09:41):
holidays and the stress and the pressure. And I'm talking
about this a lot because I really am feeling it.
So maybe I'm just talking about me, but I'm feeling it.
I'm feeling at this time of year, and I just
want to say that you don't let the wheels fully
come off. If you are a person who's consuming more
than you usually do and eating more than you usually do.
Don't do the following, which don't need to do is
(10:02):
say it's almost like a binge and a purge. Don't
say like fuck it, it doesn't matter. January first, my
whole life is gonna change. I'm doing this, like just
say right now, I'm doing this, meaning you know, I
was eating all this cake and testing all these products,
and like it was cake and French fries and grossness,
and I felt like a garbage can.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
So I just decided to take it.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Into my own hands now, Like I got some period
soups this weekend and some juices, and I'm drinking my
hydration packets and I'm like trying to keep it together
because the last thing you want to do is just
be around the holidays drinking too much, eating too much,
already feeling slovenly, trying to put on que clothes and
like just not feeling good. Like try to make yourself
(10:46):
feel good even during the holidays, because nothing's gonna happen
next year that didn't happen this year. I just don't
want to make you feel bad. But it's not but
it could happen today, and it could happen in the
next moment. I can promise you this. You're not gonna
like blow yourself up the next couple weeks. And then
January second, Angel of Perfection is gonna come up and
show up because something else is gonna come up. Then,
Oh it's Valentine's Day, It's Martin Luther King Day. Oh,
(11:06):
it's this, it's that. Let's get into Memorial Day. Let's
get into fourth of July. It's a bunch of bolt
Let's get into Easter. It's a bunch of bullshit. So
just get your shit together now. I don't mean you're
supposed to be like on a juice fast or at
a spa. I just mean I'm not a I in
my twenties and thirties I was. I'll be good tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
I would blow myself up today.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I would eat bags of chips, pints of ice cream,
andimen cakes, pizzas from Dominoes. Blow myself up, be swollen,
feel like shit tomorrow. Not eat for two days like
that is not great. So I'm talking about that being
what people do this whole holiday season. They just chalk
this whole fucking thing up to a loss. And it's
not a loss. It's a time you're at home, you're resting,
try to be healthy, make meaning out of it. I
(11:45):
don't really exercise, so I don't know what to tell
you about that. I think about it. I wish I
was someone who did it more. I used to do
it more. I don't know if it's just getting to
this age. I just value rest so much. The idea
of waking up and panicking and running to go work out.
I wake up, it takes me a fucking forty five
minutes to like get out of my glazed doughnut stage.
And that's if I've been lucky enough to sleep, and
(12:07):
lucky enough to sleep means I'm sleeping and then waking
up and like getting my coffee and then there's stuff
to do. It's very hard to get into working out,
so I do it when I can when I travel.
But my eating is fairly good and healthy and that's
why and I run around like a maniac. I don't
just lay on my ass. And that's why I think
I'm thin. And it's confusing to people because they think
(12:28):
I work out all the time because I'm thin and
I'm not working out all the time.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
And I also know that we cover.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Ourselves up a lot of the time, meaning we're not
in bathing suits twenty four hours a day. And even
though I'm thin, I do have a flat butt, and
I'm sure I probably have some like you know, sagginess,
and I really just don't care. I value rest the most,
and I value time with my daughter, and I value rest.
I value relaxation more than I value exercise, So that's
just something that I don't think is going to change
(12:55):
in twenty twenty four. So I don't want to set
myself up for disaster by making these big, sweeping statements.
If I were to change that, I would change it
right now. Focus on maybe not drinking as much, maybe
not eating everything all day long. If you've got the cake,
taste the cake, but don't have the alcohol. If you're
having the bread, have some bread but don't have the cake.
(13:16):
Like mix things around, try to eat what you want
in smaller portions. Try to just think about collecting yourself.
Make yourself a full plate that you know what it is.
This is what I'm having for this meal, not like
you're constantly going back to the trough and then you
don't know what happened. Not just shoving or dirves in
your mouth off a tray that you're not like quantifying.
(13:36):
I don't like to say count because you're not gonna count,
but it just means, okay, I'm gonna have myself a
few desserts, one glass of wine or two spritzers or
something that make it last longer, or nurse my drink
or drink water in between, and then I'll have a
couple of orders. This is exactly how many. I ate
some soup or something at my house before I left,
so I didn't go ravenous to a party grabbing at everything,
(13:58):
grabbing at a bread basket, bad idea. And then just
try to like maintain what you're going to do. You
got you have a plate, you might have a buffet,
and try to make a plan before you dive in.
And all the hot chocolate and all the eggnog and
all the fricking Starbucks lattes and all that stuff it
adds up. So just try to like keep a hold
of yourself as you go, not like tomorrow, not in January,
(14:21):
just like right now. I don't care if you just
ate three pieces of cake for breakfast, have a nice
light salad for lunch, and a piece of salmon for dinner,
and just clean it up. Just don't get obsessive, because
I just don't believe that that's gonna be good for
your mental health. And it's depressing right now. The weather.
It's fucking dark at five o'clock. I feel like I'm
in a cave. So lean into that, make a nice fire,
(14:41):
you know, relax at home, meditate, stretch, sleep, but just
don't lean into four pints of ice cream. And if
you're faced with those big pop quornantines, take a bowl
and decide how much of that you're gonna have. If
you've got some cupcakes and Christmas cookies, have one. Keep
it moving. You don't have to indulge in everything you
see because that create more emotional anxiety for you, and
(15:02):
that will mean that like you're just gonna not be
as happy and you're just gonna be just it's anxiety
ridden and producing producing to be talking about like it's fine,
it's fine when I'm doing now was I'm gonna clean
it up later and you all know what I'm talking about.
But don't set yourself up for unrealistic once January comes
either too. I'm joining the gym, I'm buying leg warmers,
(15:23):
I've got a headband, let's go.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Like just just just.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Relax overall, just totally try to relax and be realistic
and you know, manage it and you can have a
resolution right now. Whatever you decide to resolve can be
right now, does not have to be on in January.
So I just think that all those types of little
self you know, check help tips are helpful. Have a
(15:48):
happy holiday. Please don't compare yourself to everybody else. Just
really make it meaningful for you, make it loving for you.
Don't feel the pressure of the gifts. Be if there
are so many affordable gifts out there right now, I've
done the whole tour of everything from the Dollar Store
to below five to everything you really can find affordable gifts,
(16:11):
So don't get yourself crazy.
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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