April 2, 2024 • 11 mins
Fresh off Bryn’s volleyball tournament, Bethenny shares the difficult reality of being a mom in the world of youth sports.
Plus, behind the scenes of Hollywood and what it changed for Bethenny.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Okay, let's get into the sports mom volleyball mom discussion again.
So another tournament with my daughter an hour and twenty
minutes away. Woke up at six o'clock in the morning.
It started at nine, but she had to be there
at eight, got the coffee, did not get a lawn chair,
(00:34):
had not invested in one yet. Didn't know that that
was just a constant, that's a universal thing that you
just need to have a lawn chair with cup holders
in it. I did not know that. I know that
now because I walked into another gymnasium with wall to
wall people and it's like very cliquish. It is a tailgate.
People have gotten there early. You are late, you're making
(00:56):
a spectacle. You're thirty minutes early, meaning you're or thirty
minutes late because everybody's already wall to wall people. There
was one little section that I thought that I could
sit in because it was like no one was there.
But it also felt like it might have been some
official section, like I got in trouble last time, because
there was like an official section, and I don't know
how they can designate that this is the section where
(01:18):
like balls might come, because balls might come everywhere. But anyway,
they like designate these weird sections. And last time, I remember,
I moved a garbage can and stood in that section
with Paul and was like, you can't make me move
because I just took a seat of a garbage can,
like you know what I mean, Like I'm a garbage now.
(01:38):
So I got away with that. And this time I
was against the wall sitting and I was fine because
like my butt was against the wall, and I thought,
like that's okay. I could do that for a while.
And a dad came and said, Hi, I'm Page. His
dad shout out Page, his dad. If you want, you
(01:59):
can take this chair. So I took the chair that
had the little pockets in it. And then the woman
next to me, I felt bad that she was still
sitting on her ass and I didn't know yet that
she was a fan, and she said that the night
before she was either watching me or thinking about me,
or listening to me. She was very sweet. Her daughter
was on the opposing team. Another dynamic that now I realize,
(02:21):
like the opposing team. Moms like are next to you
and you're cheering for yours and they're cheering for theirs,
and you feel guilty and like that's a thing because
I had a mom on each side of me with
two different kids that are not on my team. And
then like I felt bad because Brin's team was winning,
and sometimes when the team that's winning, like is so
far ahead of the other team, you want to start
(02:42):
cheering for the other team, like you want them to
get a couple of points, Like it's hard for these kids,
you know. So then another woman came during when Brinn says,
can you watch me pepper mom, which I guess is
like the practice part and she loves saying it and they
love all the lingos, so she wanted me to watch
her pepper. She also told me that when I played
volleyball this year, like at a hotel with her, it
(03:06):
was embarrassing because I'm like, really, I think it's just
embarrassing the way I do it, Like it's not good,
and it wasn't bad, like the ball could go over
the net. It's just I guess, like the way I
look doing it. And on one day she made the
mistake when I said to her, you're athletic, I said,
because you know, I'm athletic, and she was like ha,
I was like no, no, no, like I'm athletic, like
(03:28):
I'm a good snowboarder, I'm a good I'm excellent a
yoga like sorry, not sorry, I'm amazing rollerblade of rollerskater,
like I'm athletic, like we can say whatever we want,
but like, I'm athletic. So anyway, so she's peppering and
a woman comes up. She said, can I interrupt you?
I said sure, because I thought she's gonna say hi,
(03:50):
like can I get a picture or something, or you know,
I watched you or whatever. So she goes, no, can
I just sit down? I just need like five minutes,
which I know would have been way more than five
minutes because I don't think she had a timer on
her unless she was gonna use the volleyball timer. And
Brynn was peppering, so I said, yeah, I don't have
five minutes, Like I kind of just wanted to say
hi to her, but I think she I mean, I
(04:10):
know that she was sort of a fan, and then
I felt bad about that. But it wasn't like my
time there. It was it was my brin's time. So
the other thing I really have decided and I'm certain about,
is that in between games, when your kid's not playing,
like you should get the fuck up and get the
fuck out because people need room, and like people are
(04:31):
feeling uncomfortable and can't sit. Not everyone has a chair
and not everyone has pages dad to come give them
a chair, and so like it's not you know people.
Someone had a cow bell, a woman had pom poms.
Like people take the shit really seriously. And I'm really like,
I'm an amateur. And what I am realizing now is
that this is the age when like sports get really competitive,
(04:52):
and your kid this defines them, like it's about life.
This whole experience is life. I was saying to Brinn,
like when you're not playing, you're cheering for people that
are playing, because I've watched when you're playing that other
people are cheering for you. And that's the person you
want to be. And I know that when you don't
get the ball sometimes it's a bummer, or you mess
(05:14):
something up, it's a bummer, but you got to shake
it off because that's like life. You know. I'll say,
like years ago, i'd have a talk show one day,
it would suck, and you know what, it's a touching story.
Get off your ass the next day and do it
because you can't live in the last show. There's no time.
And it's the same thing with your on reality television
and you said something stupid and you might regret it. Well,
(05:35):
that milk is spilled, so you hit that ball and
that hit the net Like tough shit, keep going, you know. Also,
I stayed till three. It's an hour and a half away.
I didn't stay until five, and I had that guilt like, wait,
but everybody else is staying until five or six. And
when I did leave, someone's like, oh, you're leaving. And
I thought to myself, I woke up at six o'clock
in the morning, and I think I left like three thirty.
(05:57):
And I left at three thirty and got the kid's food,
and like, I'm okay. I don't want to live in
a world where I feel guilty if I'm not at
every single one from morning until night, Like that's not
the life that I choose to live. And I think
that some parents will be like, well, no, I never
missed a game, and that's amazing. There's no judgment on that.
That is a beautiful thing. That's like being perfect. But
(06:19):
I have to be okay with it in my own
life to not feel guilty or peer pressure that like
I suck because I didn't stay until the bitter end.
So it's all an experience. It's not only a life
experience for Britain, but it's a life experience for me.
And it's all so clique and it's also like they
(06:41):
are cool parents and not cool parents, and I am
certainly not a cool parent. I'm a dork and like
I'm not pretending I'm a dork. I'm not cosplaying a dork.
I feel awkward. I walk in and I'm like, oh
my god, I'm a loser. That brought all the kids,
like the food, the weird like shaving dish of food
and it said no food or drinking here, and then
I started to sweat my balls off. And then I
(07:02):
saw that everybody had fruit or drinking there, like for
themselves but also for the kids. And I was like, oh,
that's a rule we don't follow, Like is this is
not the rule like wearing a COVID mask, Like this
is like a breakable rule. So I don't know, and
no one's giving me the rules. And maybe you guys
will give me the rules, but it's a fucking jungle
in there, is what I'm trying to say to you, So,
(07:22):
what do you think for anyone who's interested in getting
into production or being an actress or a makeup artist
(07:42):
on a movie, or a lighting or a sound person.
I just want to tell you the straight truth when
you see these shows, in these movies, these actors go
away for months at a time. It's sometimes freezing. They
are getting up at ungodly as they are going to
bet it on godly hours. The crew is there before
(08:03):
them and after them. And it's not that it's exhausting
because you're, like, you know, doing hard labor. It's exhausting
because you're just sitting around a little lonely away from
your family, and it's a lot of hurry up and wait,
and you end up feeling dirty and tired and like
(08:25):
you're a stranger in a strange land and you don't
really know where you are and you don't like identify
with where you are. But you're away from your kids.
And I have such a newfound respect for actors for
their memorization and their dedication and what they go through
away from their families. And then they have to give
(08:46):
it all in the scenes and like really get emotional
and you know, but the production is another story. Like
I just feel like they really are the unsung heroes.
And when some people, but not every person gets on
stage at an award show and thanks them, they be
(09:07):
on deserve it. And like every single person that gets
up and accept an award, whether it's an Academy Award,
a Grammy, whatever, like it shouldn't just be like a
throwaway the crew, Like there's a guy that cleans out
your trailer. Like you just get up at the end
of the night and you go home, and there's someone
(09:29):
who cleans out your entire trailer from like the food
you ate and what was in your fridge, And there's
a person who wants the entire crew wraps, has to
drop you off at home and wait till the last
person leaves, which could be at one o'clock in the morning,
and then they have to drive another hour to go
pick up scripts that have been copied and deliver them
to each actor for the next day. It is a
(09:52):
thankless job, Like it really really is. The director just
there every minute of the day. I have such a
respect I cannot watch television show or a movie again
in the same way. Anytime I've ever acted in anything
it's been like a day or two days. I am
astounded by what goes into making a movie a TV show.
(10:13):
I don't even know that I've got the chops, Like,
forget the acting chops and memorization shops that sit around chops,
Like you have to find a way to meditate, to read,
to adjust, to do meetings in between hair, makeup, wardrobe
and things like that. So shout out to crew members
(10:34):
of every production. Unbelievable and it's hard work, and it
makes me have so much more respect for the strike
process and why they want to be paid fairly to
be honest, and why they're enraged when someone crosses the
picket line like that is a no, no, I get
it all now. I've learned a ton, great, great experience
(10:56):
for that alone. Yeah,
Okay, let's get into the sports mom volleyball mom discussion again.
So another tournament with my daughter an hour and twenty
minutes away. Woke up at six o'clock in the morning.
It started at nine, but she had to be there
at eight, got the coffee, did not get a lawn chair,
(00:34):
had not invested in one yet. Didn't know that that
was just a constant, that's a universal thing that you
just need to have a lawn chair with cup holders
in it. I did not know that. I know that
now because I walked into another gymnasium with wall to
wall people and it's like very cliquish. It is a tailgate.
People have gotten there early. You are late, you're making
(00:56):
a spectacle. You're thirty minutes early, meaning you're or thirty
minutes late because everybody's already wall to wall people. There
was one little section that I thought that I could
sit in because it was like no one was there.
But it also felt like it might have been some
official section, like I got in trouble last time, because
there was like an official section, and I don't know
how they can designate that this is the section where
(01:18):
like balls might come, because balls might come everywhere. But anyway,
they like designate these weird sections. And last time, I remember,
I moved a garbage can and stood in that section
with Paul and was like, you can't make me move
because I just took a seat of a garbage can,
like you know what I mean, Like I'm a garbage now.
(01:38):
So I got away with that. And this time I
was against the wall sitting and I was fine because
like my butt was against the wall, and I thought,
like that's okay. I could do that for a while.
And a dad came and said, Hi, I'm Page. His
dad shout out Page, his dad. If you want, you
(01:59):
can take this chair. So I took the chair that
had the little pockets in it. And then the woman
next to me, I felt bad that she was still
sitting on her ass and I didn't know yet that
she was a fan, and she said that the night
before she was either watching me or thinking about me,
or listening to me. She was very sweet. Her daughter
was on the opposing team. Another dynamic that now I realize,
(02:21):
like the opposing team. Moms like are next to you
and you're cheering for yours and they're cheering for theirs,
and you feel guilty and like that's a thing because
I had a mom on each side of me with
two different kids that are not on my team. And
then like I felt bad because Brin's team was winning,
and sometimes when the team that's winning, like is so
far ahead of the other team, you want to start
(02:42):
cheering for the other team, like you want them to
get a couple of points, Like it's hard for these kids,
you know. So then another woman came during when Brinn says,
can you watch me pepper mom, which I guess is
like the practice part and she loves saying it and they
love all the lingos, so she wanted me to watch
her pepper. She also told me that when I played
volleyball this year, like at a hotel with her, it
(03:06):
was embarrassing because I'm like, really, I think it's just
embarrassing the way I do it, Like it's not good,
and it wasn't bad, like the ball could go over
the net. It's just I guess, like the way I
look doing it. And on one day she made the
mistake when I said to her, you're athletic, I said,
because you know, I'm athletic, and she was like ha,
I was like no, no, no, like I'm athletic, like
(03:28):
I'm a good snowboarder, I'm a good I'm excellent a
yoga like sorry, not sorry, I'm amazing rollerblade of rollerskater,
like I'm athletic, like we can say whatever we want,
but like, I'm athletic. So anyway, so she's peppering and
a woman comes up. She said, can I interrupt you?
I said sure, because I thought she's gonna say hi,
(03:50):
like can I get a picture or something, or you know,
I watched you or whatever. So she goes, no, can
I just sit down? I just need like five minutes,
which I know would have been way more than five
minutes because I don't think she had a timer on
her unless she was gonna use the volleyball timer. And
Brynn was peppering, so I said, yeah, I don't have
five minutes, Like I kind of just wanted to say
hi to her, but I think she I mean, I
(04:10):
know that she was sort of a fan, and then
I felt bad about that. But it wasn't like my
time there. It was it was my brin's time. So
the other thing I really have decided and I'm certain about,
is that in between games, when your kid's not playing,
like you should get the fuck up and get the
fuck out because people need room, and like people are
(04:31):
feeling uncomfortable and can't sit. Not everyone has a chair
and not everyone has pages dad to come give them
a chair, and so like it's not you know people.
Someone had a cow bell, a woman had pom poms.
Like people take the shit really seriously. And I'm really like,
I'm an amateur. And what I am realizing now is
that this is the age when like sports get really competitive,
(04:52):
and your kid this defines them, like it's about life.
This whole experience is life. I was saying to Brinn,
like when you're not playing, you're cheering for people that
are playing, because I've watched when you're playing that other
people are cheering for you. And that's the person you
want to be. And I know that when you don't
get the ball sometimes it's a bummer, or you mess
(05:14):
something up, it's a bummer, but you got to shake
it off because that's like life. You know. I'll say,
like years ago, i'd have a talk show one day,
it would suck, and you know what, it's a touching story.
Get off your ass the next day and do it
because you can't live in the last show. There's no time.
And it's the same thing with your on reality television
and you said something stupid and you might regret it. Well,
(05:35):
that milk is spilled, so you hit that ball and
that hit the net Like tough shit, keep going, you know. Also,
I stayed till three. It's an hour and a half away.
I didn't stay until five, and I had that guilt like, wait,
but everybody else is staying until five or six. And
when I did leave, someone's like, oh, you're leaving. And
I thought to myself, I woke up at six o'clock
in the morning, and I think I left like three thirty.
(05:57):
And I left at three thirty and got the kid's food,
and like, I'm okay. I don't want to live in
a world where I feel guilty if I'm not at
every single one from morning until night, Like that's not
the life that I choose to live. And I think
that some parents will be like, well, no, I never
missed a game, and that's amazing. There's no judgment on that.
That is a beautiful thing. That's like being perfect. But
(06:19):
I have to be okay with it in my own
life to not feel guilty or peer pressure that like
I suck because I didn't stay until the bitter end.
So it's all an experience. It's not only a life
experience for Britain, but it's a life experience for me.
And it's all so clique and it's also like they
(06:41):
are cool parents and not cool parents, and I am
certainly not a cool parent. I'm a dork and like
I'm not pretending I'm a dork. I'm not cosplaying a dork.
I feel awkward. I walk in and I'm like, oh
my god, I'm a loser. That brought all the kids,
like the food, the weird like shaving dish of food
and it said no food or drinking here, and then
I started to sweat my balls off. And then I
(07:02):
saw that everybody had fruit or drinking there, like for
themselves but also for the kids. And I was like, oh,
that's a rule we don't follow, Like is this is
not the rule like wearing a COVID mask, Like this
is like a breakable rule. So I don't know, and
no one's giving me the rules. And maybe you guys
will give me the rules, but it's a fucking jungle
in there, is what I'm trying to say to you, So,
(07:22):
what do you think for anyone who's interested in getting
into production or being an actress or a makeup artist
(07:42):
on a movie, or a lighting or a sound person.
I just want to tell you the straight truth when
you see these shows, in these movies, these actors go
away for months at a time. It's sometimes freezing. They
are getting up at ungodly as they are going to
bet it on godly hours. The crew is there before
(08:03):
them and after them. And it's not that it's exhausting
because you're, like, you know, doing hard labor. It's exhausting
because you're just sitting around a little lonely away from
your family, and it's a lot of hurry up and wait,
and you end up feeling dirty and tired and like
(08:25):
you're a stranger in a strange land and you don't
really know where you are and you don't like identify
with where you are. But you're away from your kids.
And I have such a newfound respect for actors for
their memorization and their dedication and what they go through
away from their families. And then they have to give
(08:46):
it all in the scenes and like really get emotional
and you know, but the production is another story. Like
I just feel like they really are the unsung heroes.
And when some people, but not every person gets on
stage at an award show and thanks them, they be
(09:07):
on deserve it. And like every single person that gets
up and accept an award, whether it's an Academy Award,
a Grammy, whatever, like it shouldn't just be like a
throwaway the crew, Like there's a guy that cleans out
your trailer. Like you just get up at the end
of the night and you go home, and there's someone
(09:29):
who cleans out your entire trailer from like the food
you ate and what was in your fridge, And there's
a person who wants the entire crew wraps, has to
drop you off at home and wait till the last
person leaves, which could be at one o'clock in the morning,
and then they have to drive another hour to go
pick up scripts that have been copied and deliver them
to each actor for the next day. It is a
(09:52):
thankless job, Like it really really is. The director just
there every minute of the day. I have such a
respect I cannot watch television show or a movie again
in the same way. Anytime I've ever acted in anything
it's been like a day or two days. I am
astounded by what goes into making a movie a TV show.
(10:13):
I don't even know that I've got the chops, Like,
forget the acting chops and memorization shops that sit around chops,
Like you have to find a way to meditate, to read,
to adjust, to do meetings in between hair, makeup, wardrobe
and things like that. So shout out to crew members
(10:34):
of every production. Unbelievable and it's hard work, and it
makes me have so much more respect for the strike
process and why they want to be paid fairly to
be honest, and why they're enraged when someone crosses the
picket line like that is a no, no, I get
it all now. I've learned a ton, great, great experience
(10:56):
for that alone. Yeah,
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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