January 24, 2024 • 8 mins
Bethenny had an interesting run-in with TSA over the holidays when a part of her body kept setting off the metal detectors. We know where your mind went and…you're right! But you won’t believe why!
Plus, find out what’s really pushed Bethenny to the brink and…just like that, she’s also got a bone to pick with Carrie Bradshaw.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
People over post their babies. There is such a thing
as over posting your babies. Now. I know you're excited
you had a baby. You're the first person that's ever
had a baby. It's super exciting. Of course, it's wonderful.
I love posting gifts from my daughter and with my daughter,
and I do it fairly, sparingly, more than I used to.
But what's happening now is social media posting of babies
(00:34):
is becoming what used to be showing pictures in your
wallet of your baby, which people also don't give a
shit about. Like, you had a baby, We are so excited,
that is so adorable. Your baby does something so ridiculous
and funny, is in some funny video spit all over
its father, or is snuggling with the dog. We love it.
But like, the daily posting of the baby is too much.
(00:57):
We know we got it. We've had babies, we've seen baby,
we've seen pictures of babies. It becomes a lot. And listen,
I'm an overposter of the dogs and I have to
stop myself, Like I'll post the dogs literally just for me,
ten times in a row, and it's like stop. The
dogs are on the bed, the dog you're cuddling. They
made a hard formation, like you're fucking annoying. It's annoying,
so I have to intervene. I get it, but like
(01:18):
the babies are even more annoying. A it's annoying people
who don't have babies. They don't have babies. You're not like, yes,
you're special, you're a miracle. You had a baby. A
lot of people had babies. It happened. We get it, Basta.
It's not every minute, all day, every day, and so
some celebrities like never stop with the baby. So we
get it. We're happy for you, we love it. But
(01:38):
just remember it used to be pulling out the big
like wallet with all the pictures in it that like
we're in like this accordion, and you'd show people would
be like, nobody gives a fuck, we saw it. We
know you're a baby. I'm almost about to be there,
and you're gonna hate me because we passed this season.
And I don't want to be a hater, but you
can call me one the Christmas cards, the wasting of
(02:01):
the trees for all the Christmas card. I don't even
know who these people are. Some people show up. It's
like a waspy blonde family and all these sweaters and
I'm just seeing like Christmas sweaters and trees in the back,
and it's a blonde family. I don't know which family
this is. It could literally sometimes it's my doctor. Sometimes
it's the landscaper, the dog walkers, your fucking bank. I
don't know. It's too many trees. I don't care. I'm
(02:23):
sorry it may seem cold. I don't care. I don't
even care. And if it's my best friends, I fucking
see you. I know who you are. I don't need
the picture. I could, I could look at you. You could
send me a picture for don't even pay for it.
Just send it to me and I'll see it on
Instagram if I want to, or you could like just
text it to me. Leave me alone. I don't want
to see any of it. I'm not interested. It's a
waste of the opening with my gorgeous nails. It's the
(02:45):
fucking envelope. We didn't need the goddamn twenty nine cents
or however much a stamp costs in twenty twenty four,
and it's the paper and the trees. At the very least,
fucking put it on evite, send me an evite Christmas
card and if I want to open, if I don't,
I won't, then you could do some and find out
how many fucking people opened it. But I've had it.
It's enough. I'm just now finishing and just like that.
(03:13):
And I've noticed some things in it that I wanted
to discuss, but one of them and Darren Star made it.
So it's been produced by a man and I've met
him and he's lovely. In the show I thought was good.
A lot of people criticize that show, and I know
I'm late to the party, but I don't care. I
liked it because it dealt with a lot of like
real issues from like not just you know, gender and sexuality,
(03:34):
but like menopause and like a lot of things, and
like it's necessary. There's got to be a place for
women to watch that stuff. Not everybody's young. And you
saw the plastic surgery and you saw the filler and
you saw all that stuff, and that was great. But
I'm most concerned about Carry Bradshaw's hangers. Carrie Bradshaw's hangers
are just not the hangers that she would have. They're
(03:55):
like those plastic hangers that are loosely clear that have
those little like openings on the top where you'd like
put a little came saw string in and they'd sort
of get hooked in and stuck, and they're like clunky,
and they make that sound when they hit each other
and they get entangled, and they have that little wire
hook on the top, and I was just like absol
fuckingely not. She would definitely have either the flat looseight
(04:17):
version of the huggable hanger, which is a lead and
they do break. I have them. You don't need to
do it. They don't twist on the top and they
do break. But she would at least have a huggable
hanger for at least volume in that closet. Like do better.
I mean, there's no fucking way. These were like weird
like department store hangers, like in a department store in
the eighties. Like even the department stores have probably gotten better.
(04:38):
It's just like a hanger that comes into my house
with a garment that gets sandwich you water online and
when you order online, it gets sent and you just
take it off and throw it away, Like we just
waste the fucking plastic of that hanger. I don't need that.
It's just like do better, she would never have those hangers. Never. God,
I don't think I'm gonna be okay. I'd like to
(05:07):
just do a shout out to Gwyneth Paltrow and the
Beckhams on starting the weird name trend. Just in general.
I just want to say, you can name your child anything,
Like you can name your child Corkscrew, Grommet. My child
is named Grommet, my child is named felt Like, there's
(05:27):
just nothing you can't name your child. And I'm just
gonna say that Gwyneth and the Beckhams started it. That's it.
Just a public service announcement about when the crazy name started.
Because the names I'm hearing from miss school my daughter's
I don't even understand, Like I don't know what they're
talking about. Like I want to name my daughter ring Light,
it doesn't matter. Can name your daughter anything, and you
want like Suction have My daughter's name is ring Light,
(05:50):
Suction Fritter, that's her name. It's insane, Like the names
have gotten so fucking crazy and it's a free for all. Now. Oh,
during the Christmas holiday, you all missed that I have
a platinum vagina. I have a plata puss yep going
through security with brin sweats like but not sweats that
(06:14):
have like metal on the end of drawstring like it
was leggings. It was a nice top that was like
cashmere with a T shirt under it. Not one thing
had anything, No underwear had anything, no metal, not a
thing not metallic through the underwear. I've heard it all.
Not the bracelet, not the jewelry. Nothing. Okay, go through security, beep,
I have all the bracelets on. Go back. They're like,
(06:36):
it's not the bracelets. Go back through. Then behind me
is the security like the X ray TV screen. And
I look behind me and I'm not exaggerating, and the
woman says to me, I didn't see the screen. Sorry.
The woman says to me, I'm gonna have to search
you there. I'm like what. I look over to the screen.
She points to the screen and it's that like body
like the Cheerios person, the X ray person, And there's
(06:58):
just a giant square you one side of you and
then the other side of you, a giant square, perfect
square over my vagina and the other square over my crack.
And so I look over to my brin because this
is main and Maine for her humor, and she comes over.
She's laughing. I'm like, please take a picture. So I
posted about it because the woman was like, I have to.
I have to, like, you know, whatever, search you I'm like, nope, okay, great,
(07:22):
there's nothing there's like she's like just letting you know,
I have to search. I'm like just letting you know.
There's nothing up there, Like what would be up there,
like a metal rod at my wazoo. Brin's crying and
she's like, with something up there. I'm like, yeah, Brian,
I put a metal dildo up my pussy before we
went to the airport. How's eighth grade going? Yeah? No, Like,
there's nothing up there, but I and I posted it
(07:44):
as just like something funny and it went viral. It
was like easily over a million views, people talking about it.
Oh International Platypus News, by the way, it was everywhere.
It was all over the place, and I'm like, my
I don't I feel different now? Like so I went
into twenty four with a platinum pussy. If that's interesting
to you. It's a special, special, special pussy made of platinum,
(08:07):
and I'm getting it insured. Why wouldn't I went through
security Square Square search search. They thought I had fucking
a mule for you know, platinum smuggling engagement rings into
Aspen up by the way, no better place to smuggle
engagement rings up your pussy than into Aspen. I know
(08:30):
I'm gonna lose a lot of listeners today, and I
apologize for that, but there's no better place. So many
gold diggers in Aspen needing engagement rings. I'm giving a
discount cents on the dollar up the Wazoo
People over post their babies. There is such a thing
as over posting your babies. Now. I know you're excited
you had a baby. You're the first person that's ever
had a baby. It's super exciting. Of course, it's wonderful.
I love posting gifts from my daughter and with my daughter,
and I do it fairly, sparingly, more than I used to.
But what's happening now is social media posting of babies
(00:34):
is becoming what used to be showing pictures in your
wallet of your baby, which people also don't give a
shit about. Like, you had a baby, We are so excited,
that is so adorable. Your baby does something so ridiculous
and funny, is in some funny video spit all over
its father, or is snuggling with the dog. We love it.
But like, the daily posting of the baby is too much.
(00:57):
We know we got it. We've had babies, we've seen baby,
we've seen pictures of babies. It becomes a lot. And listen,
I'm an overposter of the dogs and I have to
stop myself, Like I'll post the dogs literally just for me,
ten times in a row, and it's like stop. The
dogs are on the bed, the dog you're cuddling. They
made a hard formation, like you're fucking annoying. It's annoying,
so I have to intervene. I get it, but like
(01:18):
the babies are even more annoying. A it's annoying people
who don't have babies. They don't have babies. You're not like, yes,
you're special, you're a miracle. You had a baby. A
lot of people had babies. It happened. We get it, Basta.
It's not every minute, all day, every day, and so
some celebrities like never stop with the baby. So we
get it. We're happy for you, we love it. But
(01:38):
just remember it used to be pulling out the big
like wallet with all the pictures in it that like
we're in like this accordion, and you'd show people would
be like, nobody gives a fuck, we saw it. We
know you're a baby. I'm almost about to be there,
and you're gonna hate me because we passed this season.
And I don't want to be a hater, but you
can call me one the Christmas cards, the wasting of
(02:01):
the trees for all the Christmas card. I don't even
know who these people are. Some people show up. It's
like a waspy blonde family and all these sweaters and
I'm just seeing like Christmas sweaters and trees in the back,
and it's a blonde family. I don't know which family
this is. It could literally sometimes it's my doctor. Sometimes
it's the landscaper, the dog walkers, your fucking bank. I
don't know. It's too many trees. I don't care. I'm
(02:23):
sorry it may seem cold. I don't care. I don't
even care. And if it's my best friends, I fucking
see you. I know who you are. I don't need
the picture. I could, I could look at you. You could
send me a picture for don't even pay for it.
Just send it to me and I'll see it on
Instagram if I want to, or you could like just
text it to me. Leave me alone. I don't want
to see any of it. I'm not interested. It's a
waste of the opening with my gorgeous nails. It's the
(02:45):
fucking envelope. We didn't need the goddamn twenty nine cents
or however much a stamp costs in twenty twenty four,
and it's the paper and the trees. At the very least,
fucking put it on evite, send me an evite Christmas
card and if I want to open, if I don't,
I won't, then you could do some and find out
how many fucking people opened it. But I've had it.
It's enough. I'm just now finishing and just like that.
(03:13):
And I've noticed some things in it that I wanted
to discuss, but one of them and Darren Star made it.
So it's been produced by a man and I've met
him and he's lovely. In the show I thought was good.
A lot of people criticize that show, and I know
I'm late to the party, but I don't care. I
liked it because it dealt with a lot of like
real issues from like not just you know, gender and sexuality,
(03:34):
but like menopause and like a lot of things, and
like it's necessary. There's got to be a place for
women to watch that stuff. Not everybody's young. And you
saw the plastic surgery and you saw the filler and
you saw all that stuff, and that was great. But
I'm most concerned about Carry Bradshaw's hangers. Carrie Bradshaw's hangers
are just not the hangers that she would have. They're
(03:55):
like those plastic hangers that are loosely clear that have
those little like openings on the top where you'd like
put a little came saw string in and they'd sort
of get hooked in and stuck, and they're like clunky,
and they make that sound when they hit each other
and they get entangled, and they have that little wire
hook on the top, and I was just like absol
fuckingely not. She would definitely have either the flat looseight
(04:17):
version of the huggable hanger, which is a lead and
they do break. I have them. You don't need to
do it. They don't twist on the top and they
do break. But she would at least have a huggable
hanger for at least volume in that closet. Like do better.
I mean, there's no fucking way. These were like weird
like department store hangers, like in a department store in
the eighties. Like even the department stores have probably gotten better.
(04:38):
It's just like a hanger that comes into my house
with a garment that gets sandwich you water online and
when you order online, it gets sent and you just
take it off and throw it away, Like we just
waste the fucking plastic of that hanger. I don't need that.
It's just like do better, she would never have those hangers. Never. God,
I don't think I'm gonna be okay. I'd like to
(05:07):
just do a shout out to Gwyneth Paltrow and the
Beckhams on starting the weird name trend. Just in general.
I just want to say, you can name your child anything,
Like you can name your child Corkscrew, Grommet. My child
is named Grommet, my child is named felt Like, there's
(05:27):
just nothing you can't name your child. And I'm just
gonna say that Gwyneth and the Beckhams started it. That's it.
Just a public service announcement about when the crazy name started.
Because the names I'm hearing from miss school my daughter's
I don't even understand, Like I don't know what they're
talking about. Like I want to name my daughter ring Light,
it doesn't matter. Can name your daughter anything, and you
want like Suction have My daughter's name is ring Light,
(05:50):
Suction Fritter, that's her name. It's insane, Like the names
have gotten so fucking crazy and it's a free for all. Now. Oh,
during the Christmas holiday, you all missed that I have
a platinum vagina. I have a plata puss yep going
through security with brin sweats like but not sweats that
(06:14):
have like metal on the end of drawstring like it
was leggings. It was a nice top that was like
cashmere with a T shirt under it. Not one thing
had anything, No underwear had anything, no metal, not a
thing not metallic through the underwear. I've heard it all.
Not the bracelet, not the jewelry. Nothing. Okay, go through security, beep,
I have all the bracelets on. Go back. They're like,
(06:36):
it's not the bracelets. Go back through. Then behind me
is the security like the X ray TV screen. And
I look behind me and I'm not exaggerating, and the
woman says to me, I didn't see the screen. Sorry.
The woman says to me, I'm gonna have to search
you there. I'm like what. I look over to the screen.
She points to the screen and it's that like body
like the Cheerios person, the X ray person, And there's
(06:58):
just a giant square you one side of you and
then the other side of you, a giant square, perfect
square over my vagina and the other square over my crack.
And so I look over to my brin because this
is main and Maine for her humor, and she comes over.
She's laughing. I'm like, please take a picture. So I
posted about it because the woman was like, I have to.
I have to, like, you know, whatever, search you I'm like, nope, okay, great,
(07:22):
there's nothing there's like she's like just letting you know,
I have to search. I'm like just letting you know.
There's nothing up there, Like what would be up there,
like a metal rod at my wazoo. Brin's crying and
she's like, with something up there. I'm like, yeah, Brian,
I put a metal dildo up my pussy before we
went to the airport. How's eighth grade going? Yeah? No, Like,
there's nothing up there, but I and I posted it
(07:44):
as just like something funny and it went viral. It
was like easily over a million views, people talking about it.
Oh International Platypus News, by the way, it was everywhere.
It was all over the place, and I'm like, my
I don't I feel different now? Like so I went
into twenty four with a platinum pussy. If that's interesting
to you. It's a special, special, special pussy made of platinum,
(08:07):
and I'm getting it insured. Why wouldn't I went through
security Square Square search search. They thought I had fucking
a mule for you know, platinum smuggling engagement rings into
Aspen up by the way, no better place to smuggle
engagement rings up your pussy than into Aspen. I know
(08:30):
I'm gonna lose a lot of listeners today, and I
apologize for that, but there's no better place. So many
gold diggers in Aspen needing engagement rings. I'm giving a
discount cents on the dollar up the Wazoo
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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