September 10, 2025 • 14 mins
Even then, you still can't shit-talk them. PLUS: Stalkers and changing our dating preferences.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Okay, let's talk about divorce. Scott Wolf is from Party
of Five. I was obsessed with that show. I felt
like I lived in that show. I loved that I
wanted to be one of them. It just like was
such an iconic I can't believe it was such a
show that really reflected a time and a generation. So
Scott Wolf is married to a woman, and in my periphery,
(00:34):
i'd heard like someone said someone else was abusing them,
or they had a divorce, or I don't know what
was going on. But for some reason, I was scrolling
through social media and I saw this woman who Scott
Wolf is married to. I think she was on some
version of some like reality show it doesn't matter at all,
and they have kids, and she is acting out in
front of him and the kids. Like I'm gonna say
(00:58):
it for the twenty fifth time. Judge Gesmer in New
York said, a custody battle is watching your child drown
and you're standing at the dock and you can't do
anything to help them. The story is not about me.
But while I have felt strong negative feelings in my
body and have had strong negative fantasies in my body,
(01:19):
league like fantasies in my body that if you said
out loud, it would be bad. Okay, But I have
always known that the child has to be protected from that,
because you're doing damage. The child is a blank canvas. Now,
no child should be wrapped in bubble wrap. And I
saw a lot and was raised by animals, and am
(01:42):
so successful probably and resilient because of it. But I'd
rather my daughter be a lot less successful, and a
lot happier, and a lot less tainted. And I a
friend of mine's husband said, the one thing in divorce
you can ever do at any age is say anything
bad about the other parent in front of the child.
It's And what I do know is that children, when
they're little, they can feel tension, feel energy. They are
(02:03):
extremely think about it. They have not been exposed to
as much and as many people as we have, so
they have a more pure, like I said, blank canvas.
So they feel, see and absorb energetically much more than
we do because we're so cluttered with all these different
cues and society and signs and action and business and
(02:25):
phones and just life. They are sponges. People say that,
experts say they're sponges. That they'll copy what we do,
so make sure to not have a knife out. If
they're a little kid or don't do things that you
don't want them to do, they'll open the pill bottle,
whatever it is, because they are sponges. So if they're sponges,
that means they're absorbing what you are saying, doing talking
(02:48):
about in front of them negativity. And even if they
don't intellectually understand it, their bodies understand it. Their beings
understand it, their pores understand And that's why I've seen
a situation where a child will crack open like a
pinata in their preteen development stage because their intellect what
they understand lines up with what emotions have been dormant
(03:11):
in their bodies. So just because parents are talking on
the phone with kids in the back and gossiping and
cursing and smoking and screaming and whatever, doesn't mean the
kids aren't absorbing it just because they don't understand it
at the time. And listen, we've all done it. I've
told my daughter shut up, and I've cursed in front
of her, and like I've been like you know, we've
(03:31):
all screamed at a situation in our house. And it's
done and said things we're not proud of overall, But
you can never talk badly about the other parent. Now,
as I've said before, what will happen often is the
kid will see things and learn things and ask questions.
And then you also can't just pile on about it.
You have to find a way to always let the
(03:53):
child know that their other parent loves them, cares about them,
or that what the other parent is doing, if it's
not healthy or emotionally damaging, that it has nothing to
do with the child that the other it has to
do with the other parent and how they were raised
and their constructs, and you have to really like make
sure it absorbs. So Scott Wolfe's wife was on TikTok,
(04:15):
but he's doing and I'm not saying I'm on his side.
I know nothing about this. I only know what I saw,
and I don't believe it was ai, which was a
mom screaming at the dad and giving details about what
a bad person he is and how she's left with nothing.
And I'm paraphrasing in front of these kids. It is
so damaging, it is so tormenting, and that's what we're seeing.
(04:38):
And in every situation, what you see is a small
percentage of what's going on. It's like you see one mouse,
there are many under the floorboards. You see one roach,
you get the rest. It is so sad, and I
just have such compassion for those children, and this woman
needs to If this video is accurate, this woman needs
to get the help that she needs. It is absolutely
(04:58):
so sad. People keep it to yourself, find a way,
phone a friends, scream into a pillow, go talk to
a therapist, go outside. You have to be intellectually smart.
You cannot place the hatred for your ex, who may
deserve it, by the way, may be a sociopath psycho
(05:21):
and deserve it. You cannot put the hatred for them
above your kids. And many people just can't help. But
the hatred is so strong. It's just stronger. It's just stronger.
One person is stronger than another, like in cases in
a fight, someone's gonna win that sometimes that force is stronger.
You must intervene, friends must intervene. It's just horrible. I
(05:53):
just want to explain something that I've seen three times
three times now. Don't forget that in dating, I've met
five men and I haven't been dating in eight months,
so over the short period of time that I was
dating at different eras five men that had full custody
of their kids. We've discussed this before. The women had
(06:14):
an identity as a wife, as a shopper, as a
ladies who lunch, as a ladies who work out and
spin during the day, and then they end up being bored,
have no purpose. What they bot what both people and
the couple signed up for has changed. The men have
a glow up. They learn, they grow, they get more successful,
they get more confident. She gets older, she drinks more wine,
(06:37):
she gets into substances. They get divorced. Who knows whose
fault it is, it doesn't matter. And she somehow loses
custody to the kids because of going insane in some way,
or like off the deep end in some way, or
un hinge in some way. Okay, And I've talked don
here a lot about purpose and how women need to
have a purpose in shopping is not a purpose, and
(06:57):
have your own thing and make your own money, and
being a homemaker is a wonderful, wonderful privilege. And raising
kids is harder than working. It really is. It's more
of like a loose horse thing that you have a
difficulty controlling that you have difficulty controlling. But when your
kids are older and they leave the house, or they
(07:18):
don't leave the house yet, but they don't need you
as much, you could go batshit crazy not having your
own thing and something you've built towards and something that
is your own and some purpose and someone needs you
to be somewhere, And so that is a real thing.
So I have met several men that once I start
dating them, someone from their past comes out of the
(07:42):
woodwork and hall's crazy accusations about them. Now I first
thought they could be true. But my personal experience with
these people for very many, like with institutional knowledge, like
not just like one week, My personal experience has been
completely different than what's being described. Things that women have
(08:04):
reached out by social media messages to speak to me
directly publicly, however they want to do it. Things that
women will say about men that is extraordinarily damaging life
alteringly damaging about these men, but they seem like they're
not so bright, and the way that they're hauling these accusations,
(08:24):
they start to stalk. The men stalk me, but they
often want me to know that they have just been
with them, like they want me to feel unspecial and
like one in a million girls. But then these women
will say, and I've been sleeping with him the whole time,
(08:44):
or I was just with him last week or some
version of that, right, or we're still dating or he's
you know, we still love each other, or we're engaged
or whatever. The fucking thing they're saying is okay, But
what's crazy is they're saying something about these men that
so deplorable that in many cases it's illegal, like bad shit.
But then they're also out of the other side of
(09:06):
their mouth saying that they were just with these men.
So you're accusing a man of being this like criminal, terrible, disgusting,
abusive person, but you were with him last week. So
what you find out is that these women are very unhinged,
very desperate, very needy, very like blood in the water,
(09:28):
because they're women of a certain age and it hasn't
worked out for them. Either they're divorced or usually divorced alone,
single kids, are grown, drinking, depressed, scared alone. I have
tremendous compassion. In many cases, these people are big fans
of mine, you know, because I'm one who will share
the warts and all and the black circles and all
(09:50):
the hardship and the divorce, and in many cases they're
fans of mine, and then this vortex happens where they
see me with someone and women want to scorch the kingdom.
I see this a lot more than I do with men.
So now I'm not saying that everything that these women
are saying is not true. But I'm definitely not saying
that everything they're saying is true because I've had a
(10:11):
directly opposing opinion. And what I've heard from many people,
not even the men involved, but also the men involved,
is that it's a woman that the man has maybe
fucked around with, they went through a big promiscuous phase,
they slept with a lot of women. Maybe they're a
man who maybe they're a player, their body, their choice.
But a woman has expectations and that's a silent contract.
(10:34):
Like let's just say you're a woman and you go
out with someone. I go out with someone tonight. I
meet them three hours later, I have seven margaritas. We
have a great time. The guy. We like each other.
The guy is saying, oh my god, you'd be amazing.
My mom would like you. You're beautiful. I want to
get married, I want to have kids, all the things,
and we're all drunk. Okay, And which is, by the way,
what happens on business meetings. Sometimes there are products and
(10:57):
brands want me to do things. They want to buy
my company. Doesn't happen. I don't have a case. They
had intention, they meant it in the moment. They do
what they look under the hood. It's not what they want. Okay.
So now the guy goes to bed, wakes up, doesn't call.
You had sex with you all night. You are hanging
from a chandler, doesn't call. Women then get fucking crazy.
They can't control themselves. They have to text something. They
(11:18):
have to because a silent contract for the woman, she
thinks he owes her something false. Try again, your body,
your decisions, your oxytocin, your hormones, your pheromones, you had
sex with them. They owe you no more than you
owe them. So women get crazy if there's something they
(11:40):
want and then they can't get it. They impose this
obligation on men. I've heard this too many times now
to ignore it. So I think it's important that we
change our dating preferences. The reason why I took a
minute to not date for a while is to really
(12:03):
think about what I want. But the thing is, we
always repeat what we want. We say what we want,
what's our type, what's the height, what's the physical type,
what's the job, what's the job type? What do we
attract it to? But if we're always attracted to the
same type and we know what that type is, but
we haven't found the right partner, then we have to
(12:24):
change our dating preferences, meaning in our bodies, not meaning
checking boxes on apps or with friends who are setting
us up, meaning in our bodies. Do we think we
would not date someone who was in a band, or
someone who had a tattoo, or someone who's an athlete,
or someone who's short, or someone who's European, or someone
(12:45):
who's Latin, or someone who's Jewish or someone who's Catholic.
Like I always go for the same thing over and over,
and sometimes it's hard because you're just used to going
for the same thing. Not only do you not know
where to look, you just don't even know how to
sort of open your eyes to that. And I think
I knew a guy that was blonde blind. He used
to say he was not attracted to blonde, and he
(13:09):
ended up marrying a brunette, and I knew another guy
that said I have to stop dating blondes. Now that's
ridiculous because that's like a profiling thing. That's bizarre. But nevertheless,
for whatever reason, blondes haven't worked for him. So you
have to intervene in the type you're going for personality wise,
(13:29):
maybe physically, maybe career, maybe homebody not homebody, boring, excitement,
like to dance, doesn't like to dance, like to drink,
doesn't like to drink like I think, we have to
change our dating preferences, want to bat to better
Okay, let's talk about divorce. Scott Wolf is from Party
of Five. I was obsessed with that show. I felt
like I lived in that show. I loved that I
wanted to be one of them. It just like was
such an iconic I can't believe it was such a
show that really reflected a time and a generation. So
Scott Wolf is married to a woman, and in my periphery,
(00:34):
i'd heard like someone said someone else was abusing them,
or they had a divorce, or I don't know what
was going on. But for some reason, I was scrolling
through social media and I saw this woman who Scott
Wolf is married to. I think she was on some
version of some like reality show it doesn't matter at all,
and they have kids, and she is acting out in
front of him and the kids. Like I'm gonna say
(00:58):
it for the twenty fifth time. Judge Gesmer in New
York said, a custody battle is watching your child drown
and you're standing at the dock and you can't do
anything to help them. The story is not about me.
But while I have felt strong negative feelings in my
body and have had strong negative fantasies in my body,
(01:19):
league like fantasies in my body that if you said
out loud, it would be bad. Okay, But I have
always known that the child has to be protected from that,
because you're doing damage. The child is a blank canvas. Now,
no child should be wrapped in bubble wrap. And I
saw a lot and was raised by animals, and am
(01:42):
so successful probably and resilient because of it. But I'd
rather my daughter be a lot less successful, and a
lot happier, and a lot less tainted. And I a
friend of mine's husband said, the one thing in divorce
you can ever do at any age is say anything
bad about the other parent in front of the child.
It's And what I do know is that children, when
they're little, they can feel tension, feel energy. They are
(02:03):
extremely think about it. They have not been exposed to
as much and as many people as we have, so
they have a more pure, like I said, blank canvas.
So they feel, see and absorb energetically much more than
we do because we're so cluttered with all these different
cues and society and signs and action and business and
(02:25):
phones and just life. They are sponges. People say that,
experts say they're sponges. That they'll copy what we do,
so make sure to not have a knife out. If
they're a little kid or don't do things that you
don't want them to do, they'll open the pill bottle,
whatever it is, because they are sponges. So if they're sponges,
that means they're absorbing what you are saying, doing talking
(02:48):
about in front of them negativity. And even if they
don't intellectually understand it, their bodies understand it. Their beings
understand it, their pores understand And that's why I've seen
a situation where a child will crack open like a
pinata in their preteen development stage because their intellect what
they understand lines up with what emotions have been dormant
(03:11):
in their bodies. So just because parents are talking on
the phone with kids in the back and gossiping and
cursing and smoking and screaming and whatever, doesn't mean the
kids aren't absorbing it just because they don't understand it
at the time. And listen, we've all done it. I've
told my daughter shut up, and I've cursed in front
of her, and like I've been like you know, we've
(03:31):
all screamed at a situation in our house. And it's
done and said things we're not proud of overall, But
you can never talk badly about the other parent. Now,
as I've said before, what will happen often is the
kid will see things and learn things and ask questions.
And then you also can't just pile on about it.
You have to find a way to always let the
(03:53):
child know that their other parent loves them, cares about them,
or that what the other parent is doing, if it's
not healthy or emotionally damaging, that it has nothing to
do with the child that the other it has to
do with the other parent and how they were raised
and their constructs, and you have to really like make
sure it absorbs. So Scott Wolfe's wife was on TikTok,
(04:15):
but he's doing and I'm not saying I'm on his side.
I know nothing about this. I only know what I saw,
and I don't believe it was ai, which was a
mom screaming at the dad and giving details about what
a bad person he is and how she's left with nothing.
And I'm paraphrasing in front of these kids. It is
so damaging, it is so tormenting, and that's what we're seeing.
(04:38):
And in every situation, what you see is a small
percentage of what's going on. It's like you see one mouse,
there are many under the floorboards. You see one roach,
you get the rest. It is so sad, and I
just have such compassion for those children, and this woman
needs to If this video is accurate, this woman needs
to get the help that she needs. It is absolutely
(04:58):
so sad. People keep it to yourself, find a way,
phone a friends, scream into a pillow, go talk to
a therapist, go outside. You have to be intellectually smart.
You cannot place the hatred for your ex, who may
deserve it, by the way, may be a sociopath psycho
(05:21):
and deserve it. You cannot put the hatred for them
above your kids. And many people just can't help. But
the hatred is so strong. It's just stronger. It's just stronger.
One person is stronger than another, like in cases in
a fight, someone's gonna win that sometimes that force is stronger.
You must intervene, friends must intervene. It's just horrible. I
(05:53):
just want to explain something that I've seen three times
three times now. Don't forget that in dating, I've met
five men and I haven't been dating in eight months,
so over the short period of time that I was
dating at different eras five men that had full custody
of their kids. We've discussed this before. The women had
(06:14):
an identity as a wife, as a shopper, as a
ladies who lunch, as a ladies who work out and
spin during the day, and then they end up being bored,
have no purpose. What they bot what both people and
the couple signed up for has changed. The men have
a glow up. They learn, they grow, they get more successful,
they get more confident. She gets older, she drinks more wine,
(06:37):
she gets into substances. They get divorced. Who knows whose
fault it is, it doesn't matter. And she somehow loses
custody to the kids because of going insane in some way,
or like off the deep end in some way, or
un hinge in some way. Okay, And I've talked don
here a lot about purpose and how women need to
have a purpose in shopping is not a purpose, and
(06:57):
have your own thing and make your own money, and
being a homemaker is a wonderful, wonderful privilege. And raising
kids is harder than working. It really is. It's more
of like a loose horse thing that you have a
difficulty controlling that you have difficulty controlling. But when your
kids are older and they leave the house, or they
(07:18):
don't leave the house yet, but they don't need you
as much, you could go batshit crazy not having your
own thing and something you've built towards and something that
is your own and some purpose and someone needs you
to be somewhere, And so that is a real thing.
So I have met several men that once I start
dating them, someone from their past comes out of the
(07:42):
woodwork and hall's crazy accusations about them. Now I first
thought they could be true. But my personal experience with
these people for very many, like with institutional knowledge, like
not just like one week, My personal experience has been
completely different than what's being described. Things that women have
(08:04):
reached out by social media messages to speak to me
directly publicly, however they want to do it. Things that
women will say about men that is extraordinarily damaging life
alteringly damaging about these men, but they seem like they're
not so bright, and the way that they're hauling these accusations,
(08:24):
they start to stalk. The men stalk me, but they
often want me to know that they have just been
with them, like they want me to feel unspecial and
like one in a million girls. But then these women
will say, and I've been sleeping with him the whole time,
(08:44):
or I was just with him last week or some
version of that, right, or we're still dating or he's
you know, we still love each other, or we're engaged
or whatever. The fucking thing they're saying is okay, But
what's crazy is they're saying something about these men that
so deplorable that in many cases it's illegal, like bad shit.
But then they're also out of the other side of
(09:06):
their mouth saying that they were just with these men.
So you're accusing a man of being this like criminal, terrible, disgusting,
abusive person, but you were with him last week. So
what you find out is that these women are very unhinged,
very desperate, very needy, very like blood in the water,
(09:28):
because they're women of a certain age and it hasn't
worked out for them. Either they're divorced or usually divorced alone,
single kids, are grown, drinking, depressed, scared alone. I have
tremendous compassion. In many cases, these people are big fans
of mine, you know, because I'm one who will share
the warts and all and the black circles and all
(09:50):
the hardship and the divorce, and in many cases they're
fans of mine, and then this vortex happens where they
see me with someone and women want to scorch the kingdom.
I see this a lot more than I do with men.
So now I'm not saying that everything that these women
are saying is not true. But I'm definitely not saying
that everything they're saying is true because I've had a
(10:11):
directly opposing opinion. And what I've heard from many people,
not even the men involved, but also the men involved,
is that it's a woman that the man has maybe
fucked around with, they went through a big promiscuous phase,
they slept with a lot of women. Maybe they're a
man who maybe they're a player, their body, their choice.
But a woman has expectations and that's a silent contract.
(10:34):
Like let's just say you're a woman and you go
out with someone. I go out with someone tonight. I
meet them three hours later, I have seven margaritas. We
have a great time. The guy. We like each other.
The guy is saying, oh my god, you'd be amazing.
My mom would like you. You're beautiful. I want to
get married, I want to have kids, all the things,
and we're all drunk. Okay, And which is, by the way,
what happens on business meetings. Sometimes there are products and
(10:57):
brands want me to do things. They want to buy
my company. Doesn't happen. I don't have a case. They
had intention, they meant it in the moment. They do
what they look under the hood. It's not what they want. Okay.
So now the guy goes to bed, wakes up, doesn't call.
You had sex with you all night. You are hanging
from a chandler, doesn't call. Women then get fucking crazy.
They can't control themselves. They have to text something. They
(11:18):
have to because a silent contract for the woman, she
thinks he owes her something false. Try again, your body,
your decisions, your oxytocin, your hormones, your pheromones, you had
sex with them. They owe you no more than you
owe them. So women get crazy if there's something they
(11:40):
want and then they can't get it. They impose this
obligation on men. I've heard this too many times now
to ignore it. So I think it's important that we
change our dating preferences. The reason why I took a
minute to not date for a while is to really
(12:03):
think about what I want. But the thing is, we
always repeat what we want. We say what we want,
what's our type, what's the height, what's the physical type,
what's the job, what's the job type? What do we
attract it to? But if we're always attracted to the
same type and we know what that type is, but
we haven't found the right partner, then we have to
(12:24):
change our dating preferences, meaning in our bodies, not meaning
checking boxes on apps or with friends who are setting
us up, meaning in our bodies. Do we think we
would not date someone who was in a band, or
someone who had a tattoo, or someone who's an athlete,
or someone who's short, or someone who's European, or someone
(12:45):
who's Latin, or someone who's Jewish or someone who's Catholic.
Like I always go for the same thing over and over,
and sometimes it's hard because you're just used to going
for the same thing. Not only do you not know
where to look, you just don't even know how to
sort of open your eyes to that. And I think
I knew a guy that was blonde blind. He used
to say he was not attracted to blonde, and he
(13:09):
ended up marrying a brunette, and I knew another guy
that said I have to stop dating blondes. Now that's
ridiculous because that's like a profiling thing. That's bizarre. But nevertheless,
for whatever reason, blondes haven't worked for him. So you
have to intervene in the type you're going for personality wise,
(13:29):
maybe physically, maybe career, maybe homebody not homebody, boring, excitement,
like to dance, doesn't like to dance, like to drink,
doesn't like to drink like I think, we have to
change our dating preferences, want to bat to better
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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