July 24, 2025 • 19 mins
Lovebombers beware, and some thoughts about what we owe each other. We've got Your Summer Town Breakdown, New England edition! PLUS: Bethenny shares a bit of her life and thinking about Elder Care.
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
Ooh, summer Hampton's towns. Summer towns, it's a battle. People fight,
people are competitive. This is better and I like that better.
And oh that's not that it's so crowded. It's gotten
so this has gotten. So that. Let me break it
down because I have visited many, many summer towns that
are popular. Okay, people like to go to like the mountains, yes,
(00:37):
Upstate New York, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
But I'm talking like.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Aspen, Montana, Jackson Hole, et cetera. So that's a very green, vibrant,
active way to go. Like that's where you go through
all like colorful hot air balloons and white water rafting
and canoeing and biking and hiking and being outdoors. You
(01:02):
are fit, you like bug spray, you need SPF, you're natural,
You've eaten a cliff bar, you have wicking fabric, like
you are into nature and the outdoors. Even Aspen, which
is bougie and can be douchey, Like, it's very active.
It's very green and it comes alive and it's like
(01:22):
summer festivals.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
And all that kind of stuff. I like it.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
But I'm a winter ass person because I like snowboarding
and i don't need. I like to be near us.
I need to be near a coast. I need to
be near the ocean. I need to feel the sea
and the saltwater. Okay, so I'm partial to that. Other
people want the lake, other people want other things, the Arizona,
whatever you want, that's for me. So on the East coast,
(01:51):
all the sort of ocean seaside towns, it's like you
could be New England and you could do Rhode Island,
Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket. There's a battle between
Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket. It's sort of like ucla USC.
There's a battle between the Nantucket and the Hamptons. Martha's
Vineyard has more towns. There are more different towns and
more like socioeconomic differences, and more locals seem to be
(02:14):
in Martha's Vineyard, and it's just more varied and it's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
They're both beautiful places. It's just bigger.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
So if you want more going on, Martha's Vineyard has
more going on, but it's still very provincial and very
small compared to the Hamptons. There's a charm. If you've
been going there your whole life, you like it. It's
like you can't you know. It's like a biza, I
guess in Spain or like Italy.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Some people love Abiza.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I don't think it's physically as pretty as France or Italy,
but it's like what you know. But for sure, Martha's
Vineyard has more going on. The Nantucket has nothing close
to as much going on as the Hamptons, and all
the New England places are more like sort of provincial
and not bougie. They're like a caricature, but there's a
(02:57):
lot of money in these places. But it's sort of
more like hokey, cutesy. Nantucket is like a one trick pony.
You go three days, you did it. You understand what
it is. You understand the island, the food, the drinks,
the places of the people. There are ancillary towns, but
there's one main town. It is packed to the rafters
(03:20):
like it is packed, packed, packed, and if you go
there you'll know every single person. And if you've been there,
you'll know every single person. And it's cute. But I
feel that like you do it and you're done, Like
I get it's the same.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
It's groundhob day. It's groundhob Day.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Everybody's dressed the same, everyone's doing the same things, eating
the same foods, and it's adorable and it's pretty. And
people who visit there are like costplaying it, like they're
wearing an Antucket costume with the Nantucket basketbag, which I
love and I have, with the sweater over the shoulders,
with the lily pulitzer, with the plaid, like with the
little basket on your bicycle. You're sort of like costplaying waspy,
(04:03):
rich and white, like really really the whitest of the
whitest place in the world. It's like is Nantucket. Then
you get to the Cape and people are battling even
within the Cape. Is it Chatham? Is it Osterville? Is
it mash Bee? The Cape, it's all very similar. There's
nothing going on there, like there's not a lot going on.
There are very few stores and qt restaurants. You better
(04:25):
be into those like baked clams or the cohogs I
think it's called, and you better be into oysters, and
you better be into the people that you're hanging out with,
because it's not a ton of options of people and
things to do. They'll kill me, but it's true, like
you're sailing it's water. The thing about the New England
water in Rhode Island, in Cape Cod, in Nantucket and
(04:46):
Martha's Vineyard, it's very cold and it's a very brief season,
so it's very summer like you're kind of parts of
July and August, and that's a wrap. You're not really
swimming in May, and you're not swimming in September, okay,
and there are fucking sharks in the water there. So beautiful,
beautiful places. Definitely getting more modernized and more options, but
(05:09):
not as many options as the Hamptons. Rhode Island again
like beautiful place and beautiful houses and good enough for
tailor swift and the ocean house and beautiful, but like
it can get if you're used to action and you
want any version of action, they can get boring you
just like you did it. It's good to visit for
the weekend, but if you're gonna be there for a
(05:30):
whole summer or buy a house or rent a house,
you're gonna kind of want to be just with your
friends and like the same, like that same, like Groundhog Day,
Provincial every day being the same, get your coffee at
the same place, the whole cutesiness and the costplaying of
the wasp Pinis and the sunflowers and beautiful beautiful places,
just quiet and eat, pray, love every day and then like,
(05:54):
I don't know what the Outer Banks is like. I
don't know what it's like in the Carolinas. I'm very intrigued.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
I love to know. I don't know what the Ozarks
is like.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I don't know what the I know what actually Lake
Powell is like.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Lake Powell is like another planet.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
People are on houseboats the whole summer and when you're
in the water there, it's like you're in Star Wars.
Like it's like you're not in this world. It just
you look up in the sky and you feel like
you're in Star Wars. It's the stars are incredible, the
rocks are incredible. It's wild. But for me, it's not
an ocean, and so a lake is not the same
to me. It just doesn't land for me the same way.
(06:28):
Even in Italy, Lake Como doesn't land like the sea.
It's just who I am. I like a certain type
of water that is me. I don't know what it's
like to be in Michigan on a boat. I've heard
there are places in Michigan that are so stunning that
you wouldn't believe you were in Michigan, like the most
beautiful places in the world, Like where there are sand
(06:49):
beaches in Michigan.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
I've never seen it. I don't know about it.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
People go to Muskoka in Canada and they're obsessed with it.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
It's lake life and it's very community.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
But like I have a best friend who loves going
up to the lake and it's like boggy, and it's
also ticky, and it's more like it's laky, and people
like to bring their little boat to the other person's house,
and it's that sort of never put on shoes and
Fire Island. Fire Island is like never put on shoes,
you don't have a car.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Like I like it. I get the charm.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
I get it as a homebody, as a person who
never wants to leave the house. If I do leave
the house, I want there to be some action. That's
why I'm always gravitating towards action. Places that are very
bougie and like sort of more bullshitty than I am.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
But like I like being near action.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
San Trope, Saint Bart's, aspin the Hampton's, like I want
to be near the action, because if I'm somewhere and
I'm already going to be home ninety nine point nine
percent of the time that point one. I want to
go out and I want to see something, do something,
buy something, eat something, feel something. I want to be
near the act. So if I'm in like a very
sort of low energy, very closes early, very boring kind
(07:59):
of place, I'll die on the vine.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
So I didn't do well in Greenwich, the no action.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
There are things to do, and it's a beautiful place,
and there's water and mansions and horses and lions and
tigers and bears, and it's a gorgeous, beautiful place. Not
enough action nearby that I die on the vine. I rot,
I rot. So I've talked before about breadcrumbers. I want
(08:33):
to talk about these love bombers, these power monger guys
that have decided that I'm what they want. Okay, I
bring this up because there are three guys right now,
three guys right now I've blocked I think two of them,
not because they were stalking or abusive, because they're pushy
and they fucking think. They've decided, like you need a
(08:54):
man like me, you should be with a guy like this.
What about a guy like that. Age is just a number.
You don't want a guy like this. I could be
like this, we're good for this, Let's try it out.
Just go out, let's have fun.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Let's go. Why just go? What's to dinner? Just we'll
have fun. Trust me, I don't want to go. That's
why you know why I don't want to go because
I don't want to go.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
And these guys are so pushy that they think they're
gonna convince me because they've decided that I'm right for
them based on I don't know what. It could be Fame,
could be money, It could be my boobs, could be
sports illustrated, could be nothing, could be just an idea
of me. It could be a flex I don't care.
But like you don't decide, and we get in the
wrong car and then we're on the wrong road, and
maybe you sleep with someone, maybe you like someone, Maybe
(09:34):
they convince you and they're like, what am I doing?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I didn't want to go this road.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
That's like gaslighting yourself, and like someone's like convincing you
or culting you in too like date them. I don't
want to go out with some junger. I don't care
if it works for some people. I don't want to
do it. Access denied. Other guy, very pushy, very like
instant relationship, very cheer relationship, like chia pet like. I'm like,
I don't. I don't feel comfortable. I don't want watching
(10:00):
my social media responding to what I say on social media.
I'm talking to my people. I'm not talking to you.
That's my parasocial relationship with my people. I'm not like
trying to like date like on mass like send a
message to one person via ten million people and then
like coming in not knowing me, like hey, beautiful, good morning, beautiful,
(10:22):
what's up, beautiful, you're stunning? Like that is a lot.
That is a lot. I don't like being love bombed.
I'm a grown ass woman, my body, my choice. I
don't want to fucking go access denied, get out of here,
scram so annoyed these pushy guys. It's either the bread
crumber or the love bomber. It's one spectrum of the other,
(10:45):
one spectrum or the other. I don't like hang like
waiting for men. You want to go out with me,
call me up, ask me out for a date, ask
me to get together, like pursue me. I am not
looking for new friends or pempals. I'm not looking for
like new acquaintance slash friends. If you want a date
(11:05):
or sleep with me, you'll have to get in line,
take a number, ask me when I would like to
get together, and we can make a proper plan, and
then we can go, and then we can.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Both decide if we like each other.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I can judge you, decide whether I think you're worthy,
and you can do the same. Because we're interviewing each other.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
If you think.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
That someone that I'm interviewing, I'm just gonna like call
them and be like, Hi, Yeah, I'm in your area.
Let's go grab a smoothie in between your work. You
have another fucking thing coming, Like no bread crumb guy,
No thank you. I'm not interested in any of that.
Get in or get out. I'm not interested in any
(11:48):
of this, no interest in being anyone's journal or pempal.
I would rather be alone. I love a woman like, no,
wonder you're alone? Yeah, no, wonder, I'm alone because I
don't need a hairy man with a fucking remote control thinking.
I'm just gonna be some weird o booty call like, no,
(12:09):
come to the table with something, I come to the
table with things. So come to the table with things.
We're interviewing each other. What do you got do? You
don't push someone into hiring you, and you don't act
casually when you're interested in someone hiring you. In both directions,
you be intentional, You be elegant, you walk upright, you
(12:32):
have some class, some dignity, You respect someone else's time,
and you act like a grown up.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Elderly care what a topic.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I have no living parents. I have a stepfather who
is dying, and I was there when my real father died.
He was mean to me up to his last breath.
Presumably I always reminded him of my mother, but I
(13:09):
don't know. So my mother, who I was estranged with too,
had you know my childhood was? I did a TikTok
about this and an Instagram post that I put on
Instagram afterwards. I don't like to talk about my childhood,
not because it's triggering or sad, but because I don't
like any version of woe is me. I have a
wonderful life. I have a beautiful daughter. I've broken the chain.
(13:31):
But there's no part of abuse, sexual deviance, drugs, bookies, gambling, dysfunction,
nightclubs at thirteen.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
The racetrack.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Sexually deviant racetrack character is like bad stuff in my house,
as growing up, eating disorders, all the things. So my stepfather,
I have said, was the only father I ever really had,
But like that's glamorizing the vice meant that I grew
up in because it was the best of the worst.
Presumably it was just somebody that was there when my
(14:06):
mother was off living in Wales for summers and in
other relationships or at institutions, or post taking her own
life or post ending up in the hospital being abused
by one of the many men in her life. So
my stepfather is alive, and he had a daughter and
(14:28):
a family before me, and a daughter and a family
after me. And he tends to go very hot and
get very close and then burn things to the ground
and like scorch the Kingdom Kalisi style around him. And
I don't know if he's a bad guy, but he's
done bad things and he's been around unsavory things, and
(14:53):
he's not a good guy.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
He's not a good guy.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
One of these people that you know does all the
hail Mary's and goes to put money in the basket,
but that's probably the end of the piousness in his life.
So anyway, a racetrack character. I always resentful of my
real father's success, always obsessed with my mother. I've had
(15:23):
parents that didn't treat me like a child. They treated
me like an adult as a child. So my stepfather, well,
maybe when he passes, I'll tell just a lot of bad,
abusive stuff in my household in front of me that
no kid would ever no adults should ever see.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
So he is on his last.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Like of the tour, and someone reached out to me
on his behalf to pay for his care. I guess
his daughter, who's actually his biological daughter. He has two
biological daughters. Two wives are with them or babe me
moms and wives. One step daughter is me. But those
(16:02):
two people have nothing to do with him. He used
to be close with both of them, and I'm the
only one that this person who's watched him deteriorate called
basically to pay for things. And several years ago he
asked me for money and I gave it, and he
accidentally texted me thinking I was a sports bookie, and
(16:25):
I realized that the money that I'd given him was
going to sports. So in this case, I wanted to
make sure that it really went to a facility. He
won't go to a facility, so I paid to have
someone at the house. And it's certainly not inexpensive, and
I certainly am not doing it because I feel warm
and fuzzy. I'm doing this because it's the human thing
(16:46):
to do. There's no guilt or obligation attached to it.
It's a human being. It's like doing relief work. It's
a human being that I happened to be aware of
that is suffering. It's been brought to my attention that
the individual is suffering. So I'm going to pay for this,
(17:08):
But there's always a fraudulence that I feel like I
don't want any sort of human credit for being such
a wonderful, generous, kind soul. The person who called on
his behalf wanted to like reach out after and like
gush over it, and it made me very uncomfortable. And
the person who handled it for me, Thank you to
that person. I just said to that person, can this
(17:29):
other person not call me like? I don't want to
really talk about it. It's very triggering, and I'm paying
for it. I don't even know that it makes me
a good person, like I did it for my mother
as well. I don't even the reasons. They're not selfish,
they're not that human and philanthropic. I did it because
(17:49):
who else was going to do it. It's a human being.
I didn't do it because I feel like I owed it.
I did it because it's the right thing to do.
I did it because I guess integrity is what you do.
And no one's looking, although I'm telling you so maybe
you are looking.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
I just know that many of you can relate to
what to do and elderly care when someone hasn't been
a parent, when someone hasn't really done right by you.
But maybe when you realize that, Like I hate saying this,
but maybe they did the best they could. I think
that's a fucking scam because I think saying that when
someone has been a piece of shit is not true.
(18:24):
But maybe it is true. Maybe people who are pieces
of shit just couldn't get out of their own way.
It's the best. They did the best they could. They
regret it. They don't regret it. They're delusional. They are
in denial. They were raised wrong, they were modeled wrong.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I don't know, but it's definitely something that's challenging. And
by the comments I've received, it seems like you're doing
this really more for yourself than the other person, Like
forgiveness is seemingly for the other person, but it's also
for ourselves. It's just to liberate ourselves, free ourselves, to
(19:05):
be the better person, to know that we are still human.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
If someone's on the side of the road, no matter
what they've done, no matter what their life is, who
they've wronged, and they're dying, or they're poor, or they're
suffering or they're cold, I will always feel something
Ooh, summer Hampton's towns. Summer towns, it's a battle. People fight,
people are competitive. This is better and I like that better.
And oh that's not that it's so crowded. It's gotten
so this has gotten. So that. Let me break it
down because I have visited many, many summer towns that
are popular. Okay, people like to go to like the mountains, yes,
(00:37):
Upstate New York, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
But I'm talking like.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Aspen, Montana, Jackson Hole, et cetera. So that's a very green, vibrant,
active way to go. Like that's where you go through
all like colorful hot air balloons and white water rafting
and canoeing and biking and hiking and being outdoors. You
(01:02):
are fit, you like bug spray, you need SPF, you're natural,
You've eaten a cliff bar, you have wicking fabric, like
you are into nature and the outdoors. Even Aspen, which
is bougie and can be douchey, Like, it's very active.
It's very green and it comes alive and it's like
(01:22):
summer festivals.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
And all that kind of stuff. I like it.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
But I'm a winter ass person because I like snowboarding
and i don't need. I like to be near us.
I need to be near a coast. I need to
be near the ocean. I need to feel the sea
and the saltwater. Okay, so I'm partial to that. Other
people want the lake, other people want other things, the Arizona,
whatever you want, that's for me. So on the East coast,
(01:51):
all the sort of ocean seaside towns, it's like you
could be New England and you could do Rhode Island,
Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket. There's a battle between
Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket. It's sort of like ucla USC.
There's a battle between the Nantucket and the Hamptons. Martha's
Vineyard has more towns. There are more different towns and
more like socioeconomic differences, and more locals seem to be
(02:14):
in Martha's Vineyard, and it's just more varied and it's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
They're both beautiful places. It's just bigger.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
So if you want more going on, Martha's Vineyard has
more going on, but it's still very provincial and very
small compared to the Hamptons. There's a charm. If you've
been going there your whole life, you like it. It's
like you can't you know. It's like a biza, I
guess in Spain or like Italy.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Some people love Abiza.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I don't think it's physically as pretty as France or Italy,
but it's like what you know. But for sure, Martha's
Vineyard has more going on. The Nantucket has nothing close
to as much going on as the Hamptons, and all
the New England places are more like sort of provincial
and not bougie. They're like a caricature, but there's a
(02:57):
lot of money in these places. But it's sort of
more like hokey, cutesy. Nantucket is like a one trick pony.
You go three days, you did it. You understand what
it is. You understand the island, the food, the drinks,
the places of the people. There are ancillary towns, but
there's one main town. It is packed to the rafters
(03:20):
like it is packed, packed, packed, and if you go
there you'll know every single person. And if you've been there,
you'll know every single person. And it's cute. But I
feel that like you do it and you're done, Like
I get it's the same.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
It's groundhob day. It's groundhob Day.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Everybody's dressed the same, everyone's doing the same things, eating
the same foods, and it's adorable and it's pretty. And
people who visit there are like costplaying it, like they're
wearing an Antucket costume with the Nantucket basketbag, which I
love and I have, with the sweater over the shoulders,
with the lily pulitzer, with the plaid, like with the
little basket on your bicycle. You're sort of like costplaying waspy,
(04:03):
rich and white, like really really the whitest of the
whitest place in the world. It's like is Nantucket. Then
you get to the Cape and people are battling even
within the Cape. Is it Chatham? Is it Osterville? Is
it mash Bee? The Cape, it's all very similar. There's
nothing going on there, like there's not a lot going on.
There are very few stores and qt restaurants. You better
(04:25):
be into those like baked clams or the cohogs I
think it's called, and you better be into oysters, and
you better be into the people that you're hanging out with,
because it's not a ton of options of people and
things to do. They'll kill me, but it's true, like
you're sailing it's water. The thing about the New England
water in Rhode Island, in Cape Cod, in Nantucket and
(04:46):
Martha's Vineyard, it's very cold and it's a very brief season,
so it's very summer like you're kind of parts of
July and August, and that's a wrap. You're not really
swimming in May, and you're not swimming in September, okay,
and there are fucking sharks in the water there. So beautiful,
beautiful places. Definitely getting more modernized and more options, but
(05:09):
not as many options as the Hamptons. Rhode Island again
like beautiful place and beautiful houses and good enough for
tailor swift and the ocean house and beautiful, but like
it can get if you're used to action and you
want any version of action, they can get boring you
just like you did it. It's good to visit for
the weekend, but if you're gonna be there for a
(05:30):
whole summer or buy a house or rent a house,
you're gonna kind of want to be just with your
friends and like the same, like that same, like Groundhog Day,
Provincial every day being the same, get your coffee at
the same place, the whole cutesiness and the costplaying of
the wasp Pinis and the sunflowers and beautiful beautiful places,
just quiet and eat, pray, love every day and then like,
(05:54):
I don't know what the Outer Banks is like. I
don't know what it's like in the Carolinas. I'm very intrigued.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
I love to know. I don't know what the Ozarks
is like.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I don't know what the I know what actually Lake
Powell is like.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Lake Powell is like another planet.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
People are on houseboats the whole summer and when you're
in the water there, it's like you're in Star Wars.
Like it's like you're not in this world. It just
you look up in the sky and you feel like
you're in Star Wars. It's the stars are incredible, the
rocks are incredible. It's wild. But for me, it's not
an ocean, and so a lake is not the same
to me. It just doesn't land for me the same way.
(06:28):
Even in Italy, Lake Como doesn't land like the sea.
It's just who I am. I like a certain type
of water that is me. I don't know what it's
like to be in Michigan on a boat. I've heard
there are places in Michigan that are so stunning that
you wouldn't believe you were in Michigan, like the most
beautiful places in the world, Like where there are sand
(06:49):
beaches in Michigan.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
I've never seen it. I don't know about it.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
People go to Muskoka in Canada and they're obsessed with it.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
It's lake life and it's very community.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
But like I have a best friend who loves going
up to the lake and it's like boggy, and it's
also ticky, and it's more like it's laky, and people
like to bring their little boat to the other person's house,
and it's that sort of never put on shoes and
Fire Island. Fire Island is like never put on shoes,
you don't have a car.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Like I like it. I get the charm.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
I get it as a homebody, as a person who
never wants to leave the house. If I do leave
the house, I want there to be some action. That's
why I'm always gravitating towards action. Places that are very
bougie and like sort of more bullshitty than I am.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
But like I like being near action.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
San Trope, Saint Bart's, aspin the Hampton's, like I want
to be near the action, because if I'm somewhere and
I'm already going to be home ninety nine point nine
percent of the time that point one. I want to
go out and I want to see something, do something,
buy something, eat something, feel something. I want to be
near the act. So if I'm in like a very
sort of low energy, very closes early, very boring kind
(07:59):
of place, I'll die on the vine.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
So I didn't do well in Greenwich, the no action.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
There are things to do, and it's a beautiful place,
and there's water and mansions and horses and lions and
tigers and bears, and it's a gorgeous, beautiful place. Not
enough action nearby that I die on the vine. I rot,
I rot. So I've talked before about breadcrumbers. I want
(08:33):
to talk about these love bombers, these power monger guys
that have decided that I'm what they want. Okay, I
bring this up because there are three guys right now,
three guys right now I've blocked I think two of them,
not because they were stalking or abusive, because they're pushy
and they fucking think. They've decided, like you need a
(08:54):
man like me, you should be with a guy like this.
What about a guy like that. Age is just a number.
You don't want a guy like this. I could be
like this, we're good for this, Let's try it out.
Just go out, let's have fun.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Let's go. Why just go? What's to dinner? Just we'll
have fun. Trust me, I don't want to go. That's
why you know why I don't want to go because
I don't want to go.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
And these guys are so pushy that they think they're
gonna convince me because they've decided that I'm right for
them based on I don't know what. It could be Fame,
could be money, It could be my boobs, could be
sports illustrated, could be nothing, could be just an idea
of me. It could be a flex I don't care.
But like you don't decide, and we get in the
wrong car and then we're on the wrong road, and
maybe you sleep with someone, maybe you like someone, Maybe
(09:34):
they convince you and they're like, what am I doing?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I didn't want to go this road.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
That's like gaslighting yourself, and like someone's like convincing you
or culting you in too like date them. I don't
want to go out with some junger. I don't care
if it works for some people. I don't want to
do it. Access denied. Other guy, very pushy, very like
instant relationship, very cheer relationship, like chia pet like. I'm like,
I don't. I don't feel comfortable. I don't want watching
(10:00):
my social media responding to what I say on social media.
I'm talking to my people. I'm not talking to you.
That's my parasocial relationship with my people. I'm not like
trying to like date like on mass like send a
message to one person via ten million people and then
like coming in not knowing me, like hey, beautiful, good morning, beautiful,
(10:22):
what's up, beautiful, you're stunning? Like that is a lot.
That is a lot. I don't like being love bombed.
I'm a grown ass woman, my body, my choice. I
don't want to fucking go access denied, get out of here,
scram so annoyed these pushy guys. It's either the bread
crumber or the love bomber. It's one spectrum of the other,
(10:45):
one spectrum or the other. I don't like hang like
waiting for men. You want to go out with me,
call me up, ask me out for a date, ask
me to get together, like pursue me. I am not
looking for new friends or pempals. I'm not looking for
like new acquaintance slash friends. If you want a date
(11:05):
or sleep with me, you'll have to get in line,
take a number, ask me when I would like to
get together, and we can make a proper plan, and
then we can go, and then we can.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Both decide if we like each other.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I can judge you, decide whether I think you're worthy,
and you can do the same. Because we're interviewing each other.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
If you think.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
That someone that I'm interviewing, I'm just gonna like call
them and be like, Hi, Yeah, I'm in your area.
Let's go grab a smoothie in between your work. You
have another fucking thing coming, Like no bread crumb guy,
No thank you. I'm not interested in any of that.
Get in or get out. I'm not interested in any
(11:48):
of this, no interest in being anyone's journal or pempal.
I would rather be alone. I love a woman like, no,
wonder you're alone? Yeah, no, wonder, I'm alone because I
don't need a hairy man with a fucking remote control thinking.
I'm just gonna be some weird o booty call like, no,
(12:09):
come to the table with something, I come to the
table with things. So come to the table with things.
We're interviewing each other. What do you got do? You
don't push someone into hiring you, and you don't act
casually when you're interested in someone hiring you. In both directions,
you be intentional, You be elegant, you walk upright, you
(12:32):
have some class, some dignity, You respect someone else's time,
and you act like a grown up.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Elderly care what a topic.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I have no living parents. I have a stepfather who
is dying, and I was there when my real father died.
He was mean to me up to his last breath.
Presumably I always reminded him of my mother, but I
(13:09):
don't know. So my mother, who I was estranged with too,
had you know my childhood was? I did a TikTok
about this and an Instagram post that I put on
Instagram afterwards. I don't like to talk about my childhood,
not because it's triggering or sad, but because I don't
like any version of woe is me. I have a
wonderful life. I have a beautiful daughter. I've broken the chain.
(13:31):
But there's no part of abuse, sexual deviance, drugs, bookies, gambling, dysfunction,
nightclubs at thirteen.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
The racetrack.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Sexually deviant racetrack character is like bad stuff in my house,
as growing up, eating disorders, all the things. So my stepfather,
I have said, was the only father I ever really had,
But like that's glamorizing the vice meant that I grew
up in because it was the best of the worst.
Presumably it was just somebody that was there when my
(14:06):
mother was off living in Wales for summers and in
other relationships or at institutions, or post taking her own
life or post ending up in the hospital being abused
by one of the many men in her life. So
my stepfather is alive, and he had a daughter and
(14:28):
a family before me, and a daughter and a family
after me. And he tends to go very hot and
get very close and then burn things to the ground
and like scorch the Kingdom Kalisi style around him. And
I don't know if he's a bad guy, but he's
done bad things and he's been around unsavory things, and
(14:53):
he's not a good guy.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
He's not a good guy.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
One of these people that you know does all the
hail Mary's and goes to put money in the basket,
but that's probably the end of the piousness in his life.
So anyway, a racetrack character. I always resentful of my
real father's success, always obsessed with my mother. I've had
(15:23):
parents that didn't treat me like a child. They treated
me like an adult as a child. So my stepfather, well,
maybe when he passes, I'll tell just a lot of bad,
abusive stuff in my household in front of me that
no kid would ever no adults should ever see.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
So he is on his last.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Like of the tour, and someone reached out to me
on his behalf to pay for his care. I guess
his daughter, who's actually his biological daughter. He has two
biological daughters. Two wives are with them or babe me
moms and wives. One step daughter is me. But those
(16:02):
two people have nothing to do with him. He used
to be close with both of them, and I'm the
only one that this person who's watched him deteriorate called
basically to pay for things. And several years ago he
asked me for money and I gave it, and he
accidentally texted me thinking I was a sports bookie, and
(16:25):
I realized that the money that I'd given him was
going to sports. So in this case, I wanted to
make sure that it really went to a facility. He
won't go to a facility, so I paid to have
someone at the house. And it's certainly not inexpensive, and
I certainly am not doing it because I feel warm
and fuzzy. I'm doing this because it's the human thing
(16:46):
to do. There's no guilt or obligation attached to it.
It's a human being. It's like doing relief work. It's
a human being that I happened to be aware of
that is suffering. It's been brought to my attention that
the individual is suffering. So I'm going to pay for this,
(17:08):
But there's always a fraudulence that I feel like I
don't want any sort of human credit for being such
a wonderful, generous, kind soul. The person who called on
his behalf wanted to like reach out after and like
gush over it, and it made me very uncomfortable. And
the person who handled it for me, Thank you to
that person. I just said to that person, can this
(17:29):
other person not call me like? I don't want to
really talk about it. It's very triggering, and I'm paying
for it. I don't even know that it makes me
a good person, like I did it for my mother
as well. I don't even the reasons. They're not selfish,
they're not that human and philanthropic. I did it because
(17:49):
who else was going to do it. It's a human being.
I didn't do it because I feel like I owed it.
I did it because it's the right thing to do.
I did it because I guess integrity is what you do.
And no one's looking, although I'm telling you so maybe
you are looking.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
I just know that many of you can relate to
what to do and elderly care when someone hasn't been
a parent, when someone hasn't really done right by you.
But maybe when you realize that, Like I hate saying this,
but maybe they did the best they could. I think
that's a fucking scam because I think saying that when
someone has been a piece of shit is not true.
(18:24):
But maybe it is true. Maybe people who are pieces
of shit just couldn't get out of their own way.
It's the best. They did the best they could. They
regret it. They don't regret it. They're delusional. They are
in denial. They were raised wrong, they were modeled wrong.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I don't know, but it's definitely something that's challenging. And
by the comments I've received, it seems like you're doing
this really more for yourself than the other person, Like
forgiveness is seemingly for the other person, but it's also
for ourselves. It's just to liberate ourselves, free ourselves, to
(19:05):
be the better person, to know that we are still human.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
If someone's on the side of the road, no matter
what they've done, no matter what their life is, who
they've wronged, and they're dying, or they're poor, or they're
suffering or they're cold, I will always feel something
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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