December 22, 2025 • 45 mins
From the dark side of Malibu, to raising “rich kids,” to the effects of getting canceled…Rob has seen a lot in his storied journey and he’s willing to share it all.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
My guest today is actor, filmmaker and podcast host Rob Low.
You may know him from The West Wing and Saint
Elmo's Fire by the Way iconic show and movie, but
today Rob is the star of Fox's nine one one
Lone Star and host of Literally with Rob Low.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
This is just me with Rob Loow. Let's get into it. Hi,
So I talk to you.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
A lot of people commented on me doing your show, like,
isn't it funny the types of people that come out
of the woodwork when you do different things and then
you realize why you do different things.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yes, I'm so. I'm so interested to know you did
my podcast Literally and you were great. I had a
great talk with you. What was the reaction on your end?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
The reaction was great.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
But like I said from different people that I don't
you know, you're always marketing to the same audience because
they're your audience. And so that's why, that's why the
model of podcasts and doing different types of things and
having different people on yours does really work because different
like random like David Lasher who was Vinnie from Blossom,
was like I listened to you on Rob Blows. I'm
like what, Like it was just so weird all of it.
(01:22):
I was like, oh, and he's like, I loved what
you said. It was so inspirational, and he I know him,
and he's like, I didn't even know your story, so
you know, it hit differently, which is which is nice,
which says a lot about about you and the combination
of us who are in a similar generation but speaking
to some similar people. And then I'm sure you know
different people. But I enjoyed it. I felt like I
(01:44):
know you now. And and I was in Santa Barbara recently.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
And I felt like, I know I. Yeah, I know Roblo.
I'm in Barbara. I have friends here.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Well it's well, that's I love hearing that, and I
it's It's true, isn't it? Like it is always interesting
to me when we are out giving interviews or selling
a product or a movie or TV or whatever. Who
is watching or listening to what It's endlessly fascinating to me.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yeah, I mean, I really do think that if I'm
not a person who likes unsolicited advice or visits, but
if I were that person, and I feel like if
I knocked on your door, you'd be like, hey, come
on in.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I feel like we're friends. Now, so I'm.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Already feeling bad that you didn't say, Hey, I'm in
Santa Barbara, let's get coffee.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I think I message on Instagram, but I don't know
if you got it. I forget if, like.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
You know my Instagram. I it's like I'm not as
good as following the comments maybe as I should be.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah, no, I don't believe me. I mean I went
with my daughter. We stayed at Calamy Goes Ranch and
Malibu and then drove.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
For the day.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
What's it like to stay there?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
So Mark Gervitz is a power comedy manager who lives
in Malibi, like deep Malibu. There's Malibu and then there's
like deeper Malibu. And I was going to an invented
his house to see Adam Sandler and a bunch of people.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
And I wanted to have.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
A staycation versus stay in La where you're going to
transact and you're going to be in the business of
show and I didn't want. I wanted to be on
a vacation and feel like I could go to the beach,
and Malibu is different. So we stayed at this place,
Klamigos Ranch, which is like very ranchy and very malibuish
and very cowboy buddish and rustic and different than most
of LA And everybody that I've told that I stayed
(03:33):
there was like, oh, yeah, no, I've never stayed there
or I've never been there, and I was like, what
do you mean?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
It's it was shocking. Yeah, So I loved it.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
When I was a kid, when I was in junior
high that everybody went to summer camp at Kalamigos Ranch. Yeah. Oh,
and it's been different things. It's been a proper ranch
and that it's been defunct and then it's been revitalized.
But it's I've never stayed there.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
So then we went to your town and I love
You're in Santa I love that town of Santa Barbara.
I've been to Monacito and we did that, but like
that street in Santa Barbara with all those pianos on,
it was amazing.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
I know, right, they've shut since COVID, they shut down
State Street and it's now like a you know, a plaza,
walking plaza. It's Those are two of my favorite places
in Alibu and Montecito and Santa Barbara three of my
favorite I should say.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Likewise, Okay, so I've done a little bit of reading
about you, and I had always peripherally gotten a sense
of you, like I knew you married a makeup artist
or your makeup artist, and I was sadly jealous at
the time, and I was just thinking, like, why her
not me? And I didn't even know you, So that
was this good reason why we didn't know each other.
(04:53):
So you got We talked on your podcasts about this
a little bit. But you you started in you were
in Ohio and and then you went to la or
you started in Virginia.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Yeah, I was. I was born in Charlottesville, where my
dad was had just graduated from law school, and then they,
my mother and my dad moved to Dayton and that's
where I had my childhood. My proper you know, from
six months old to twelve was in Dayton, so I
got a real Midwestern childhood. And then my mom and
(05:25):
dad divorced and we ended up in directly from Dayton
to Point Doom in Malibu, which was like going to Mars. Wow.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
That's a Fred Hayman from Georgia, Beverly Hills. I planned
and organized his wedding and so that was my first
experience at Point Doom.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Yeah. Point Doom is there's Malibu and then this's Point Doom.
It's a whole different vibe very and my great obsession
is I want to do a movie or miniseries or
book about what life was like in Malibu but on
Point Doom, in particular in the mid to late seventies,
because it was.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Not wait so hold on, I was staying when you
went down to the left was Paradise Cove and then
to the Point Doom is not in Malibu.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
It's like its own thing.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
No, it's a part of Malibu, but it's it's it's
because it's a point Okay, it's it's its own neighborhood.
It's it's you know, it's not on the pch like
everything else is. And uh, it's it's just a weird
I don't know if it's the Indian Shoemash mojo there,
(06:40):
but it's both really exciting and interesting and really dark
and weird all at the same time.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Is are there are there reservations there?
Speaker 3 (06:49):
No? But it's okay, But it's all real shoemash you know,
the original you know, people of the area. It's it's
very viby in that way. Lots of arrowheads and history.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
What high school did you go to?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
There was no high school in Malibu then there is now,
and we had to take the bus twenty two miles
to Santa Monica to go to high school.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
So you went to Santa Monica High School. Wow?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Okay, so you really But I mean, starting at twelve,
you kind of really are a California boy and you
really never left that sphere, Like you're not that far
from there now. I mean, you're in that vibe too.
There's a Malibu vibe, and I feel like Santa Barbara
is like a Malibu adjacent vibe, having spent that weekend
wanting to go that way versus go the other way
into La.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Yeah, for sure. And again when Malibu, when I moved there,
it was not a show business enclave it is now.
There was a time, you know, I would say in
the early eighties when the studio executives and the agents
all moved out there. But when I grew up there,
it's what Santa Barbara and Montecito were when I moved
(07:59):
up here, which is super rural. People ride their horses
down the street. Wow, not a company town. You get
all walks of life when you like, you know, if
I'm coaching little League, I'm you know, there's the dad's
work in every line of work you could imagine, and
they're not all in show business. So it's it's just
(08:22):
I'm attracted to a little bit of more diversity of
thought and of experience.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
And moving your kids to Santa Barbara when they were
at an age where things are more influential. That was
obviously intentional. Is that because of your Midwestern roots, like
you just wanted to feel some version of that.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Yeah, I wanted. I wanted them to be able to
be outside a lot. I wanted I wanted, you know,
up here we could we could go to the beach,
maybe take a hike, go to the zoo, and go
to a movie. We could do that all in one
day up here, and in la As, you know, that's
(09:04):
you could do one of them right in a day.
And if you're in Malibu, you can really only do
one of them.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
And where's your wife from.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
She's a born and bred valley girl.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
She's a valley girl, Okay.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And Vally, they're very she is a valley girl, you know, Hollywood.
She grew up in both areas.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
So you dragged her.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
I dragged her oh, I dragged her.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
She dragged her.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Yeah, she was not having it. I had a real
vision though, of I mean, every once in a while
I have a I have a vision of what I
want to do, not all the time, but every once
in a while. And I really was like, this is
really right for us. And I mean it's one of
the smartest things that we ever did as a family,
was was was move up here both I mean in
terms of our lifestyle, what it did for our relationships,
(09:54):
for our marriage, for our kids, and and financially. As
it turns out, more than anything, I've done better in
real estate in Minasita than I've done in my entertainment career.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
That's what I was The next question I was gonna
ask is did you invest in? You invest early?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
YEP? I did years ago yep, and Monacito became only
just continued to become more attractive. And then between people
being able to work from home, the rise of Zoom,
the experience of COVID and a big hotel opening up
(10:33):
the Miramar that brought people from all over the world
to see it, and Megan and Harry moving in, all
of those things turned Monacito into another version of the Hamptons,
which it never was.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
You said last time, and I spoke to you that
you don't. I don't think you consider yourself a very
good business person or do you?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Or do you?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
It depends. I definitely consider myself a business person, for sure.
You do, so, okay, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Like you are thinking business first, You're marketing your business,
You're you have a chessboard that you're working in your mind.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
I mean, it doesn't supersede my creative but I like
to think that I can get them both to exist
equally within me and neither one is a detriment to
the other.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
And who So when you started making money acting, you
started investing or that was just you buying your personal property,
Like what was your business trajectory it was?
Speaker 3 (11:31):
It was really just buying the personal property, really and
then you know, selling it and you know, doing well
and moving up the ladder, and then selling that and
doing well and then starting to invest in other areas
of real estate, which is really and I got to
give my wife credit. She has really been the impetus
(11:52):
behind that.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Behind the investing in other real estate.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
In real estate period, She's got an amazing, amazing sniffer for.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Real estate, the vision of what something could be.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Yes, insane, Yeah, we're just insane.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I love that and I've done that personally a lot,
and it was almost unintentional. But during the pandemic, I
flipped three places and I never I was thinking about
you talking about your personal real estate for people who
are thinking about business in different ways. For me, anytime
I go to look at something, I always think about,
even if it's for an investment, if I would live there,
(12:31):
Because if the shit hits the fan and you have
five different pieces on the board, you could sell four
and you'd be willing to live in any of them,
like they all work for you.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
I like that freedom of thought.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Where I like that, but if I end up not
liking it, like a place on the water, maybe I
don't know what it's like to live on the water,
but I fantasize about it. I just bought a place,
but I know I could move it or rent it.
I like to be nimble and the pieces like that.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yeah, and for us, the straight investment real estate is
new ish. And you know we we we weren't flippers,
and I don't We're not. Our homes are our homes,
and we live in them. And but we've just had
those those things where people have said, you know, we'd
(13:18):
like to buy it, and you name the price, and
I go, you know what I'm gonna At the end
of the day, I'm still an actor for hire. I
sort of have a fiduciary responsibility to my family to
to say yes to this. But it's not like I'm
I ever build any home to flip.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
It, right, I understand, but your but your wife is
probably thinking of things being somewhat not neutral.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
But I think people think about that in design too.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
You know, you're not putting like crocodile walls because you
never know what could happen if someone knocks on the door.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Oh yeah, Willison, for sure. And I think it's one
of the reasons we have been able to do what
we do is when we we just found a big,
an amazing piece of property. It's a legacy property, been
around since eighteen seventy seven. And when you have something
like that, you have to build something on it that's
equal to the property. And if you don't, then you're
(14:11):
actually taking money off the table. So it's a weird thing.
You're going to spend more, but you're actually making more
than if you you know, you know what I mean.
It's like, yes, you've got if you've got to, you
got to.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
If you're gonna do it, you're gonna do it. Yeah, exactly,
you got to do it right. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I live on a house it's seventeen forty three on
a property with an apple orchard, and like I don't
mess around with the original wood in the house or
like I just I you have to honor it.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
This is what you're saying. You're honoring.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
You're not gonna like spec house it up on eighteen
hundred's property. So you've done well, You've made money and
in show business and in real estate. How do you
(14:58):
I know you're you have and that you wanted to
move them there for them to have this sort of
balance and be grounded.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
How do you raise rich kids?
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Because I've talked to more Cuban about this, I've talked
to myself about this and has it worked and your kids,
you know, well adjusted work for themselves?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Like did you do this? Did you nail it?
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Well? First of all, you know, it's all relative. Even
what is rich, right is relative? You know, Mark Cuban's
got more money than you.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I do, no, But but even the gay he still
doesn't want really really really asshole spoiled kids. So he's
harder for him because he's flying on a private plane.
We're flying first class, so like at your level, I.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Guess, you know, And.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Well, first of all, I think my kids, if you
ask them, they legitimately would not consider themselves rich. Legit,
that's not in the ethos, Like they know they have
this trust fund or they know that when I know
people like this, I've worked with people like who know
(16:02):
that when their dad or mom kicks the bucket or
when grandpa kicks the bucket, they're coming into you know,
a lot of money. They and they you know, it's
always out there in their lives. Obviously that's not my family.
I think that they grew up thinking and having certainly
the experience of being not any different than a lot
(16:26):
of the other kids. Other than you know, maybe the
vacations were nicer, and you know, like you said, maybe
we flew more often. But I tried to give them
a really normal sticks that I could upbringing. I think
the thing that makes it really different is the fame
part of it.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Oh interesting, okay, right right.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Because you know you can be worth four billion dollars
and you can walk into a restaurant nobody knows who
you are, and you can be worth you know, four
hundred thousand dollars and walk into a restaurant and it
stops dead in its tracks. So it's a funny. It's
a funny thing. So I really think there's the how
do you deal with with money? And then there's how
(17:11):
do you deal with being in a family that is
in the public eye?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
And are you just are you insular you're not out
that much? Or you live in a place where no
one cares? And you know, what's it like when you're
with them in La?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Do they care? Do they What is that like in
your house? Fame? And is your wife annoyed by it?
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Well, the thing is the one of the reasons I
consciously moved out of La was I didn't want my
kids growing up, you know, around paparazzi and and and
and where the currency of the realm is your fame,
(17:50):
and that just is what it is in La. There's
no way to skin that cat. When I grew up
in Malibu, there were there were horses at the hitching
posts at the market. They're gone and they're replaced with
paparazzi staking people out, which wasn't there. So I tried
I recreated it, and so they just didn't. They'd come
(18:15):
home and go Dad. They'd visit a friend in Melibou. Dad.
They had a screening room and we watched a movie
there and Jim Carrey came over and they're talking like
they're from you know, Ohio, right, you know, and and that,
and I was like, yeah, that's good. They should be.
They should have stars in their eyes like that and
(18:36):
feel that way. And you know, my other my son
is the actor, didn't start out that way. He started
out as a a stem cell scientist and went to
Stanford and then came out and decided he wanted to
be an actor and a writer. And of course I
was that was not a happy day for me. I
was like, I had a molecular biologist have an actor.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
My daughter kind of acts like when she went from
this public school to this private school, she acted like
she was sort of on scholarship. She was like, oh
my god, mom, they give free art supplies and she
was so excited. And I think that's because, you know,
just because I buy things that I want or I
worked hard to get all this.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
It doesn't mean it's a free for all.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
And I have all these rules that you know, if
you really want something, you have to give something up
or you have to work for it. And it is
a discipline like I do really work really hard, and
I do have to pull on the reins a lot,
and I like that. I think it's like it feels
like a project, Like your kids are the best possible
project's you get such a ROI on the time you
(19:43):
invest in them and these kind of principles, and you
can be struggling financially and have spoiled kids for sure.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Entitled spoiled. You know, it happens, It can happen to
It can happen to kids anywhere. Yah, really it really absolutely.
Entitlement is I think the worst, the worst element of it.
But I also think that they take their cues from
their parents. And you know, I work my ass off
(20:15):
and and so yeah, and so does Cheryl. Oh, I
mean she, I mean she literally this week flew to
Washington for her jewelry business, came home last night, flew
to Arizona and came home and she's out there on
the floor selling Neiman Marcus, doing her thing. It's like
(20:36):
she's have to do that.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
No, but yeah, and have you ever like, was there?
Speaker 1 (20:43):
It's my turn in your relationship because it's been very
much about you and your career.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Was there.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
It's my turn after her, you know, helping you raise
the kids and all that, or it's just always been
an ebb and flow.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
It's always been that way. I Mean, one of the
reasons I married her was she had this and remains.
She has the strongest work ethic of anybody I've ever known.
And that's saying something because mine is strong. And so
whether it's raising the raising the kids, or starting a
makeup line, or or building the homes that we have
(21:14):
or the or then she had, she also has from
time to time built for other people. She always has
always worked, she will always.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Work interesting and so your work ethic comes from your
upbringing and your family, right.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Yeah. But part of it I think is Listen, I
think part of its genetic because my mom was sort
of very artsy and not really a worker. My dad
is eighty four and still goes into the office, uh,
you know, practices law. My grandpa, who is very close
(21:54):
to my mom's side, just a eighth grade education, you know.
It became the first millionaire in his city. You know,
So it's it's kind of I think it's kind of
in the DNA a little bit. Maybe.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
So you were always working your ass off, like you're
working as hard as you were when you were younger,
Like you were always this.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Way paper routes, you know, bus boy. I mean I
did get fired from every job that I had that
wasn't around show business because I'm not really cut out
for the real world methany.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
But but you're cut out for show business, and while
I guess real estate, you're you're cut out for non
traditional business.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
Yes, I am. I designed first of all. I had
designed my entire life to try to not deal with math.
And you know, listen that I'm really good on the
other side of my brain, and I've I've really learned
a lot about I can get by with numbers, obviously,
because you have to if you're going to be in
any kind of a business. But I avoid it. It's
(22:58):
not my jam. I don't like it. I appreciate people
who do. I'm very much a creative person with a
you know what It's like, people say, do you sing?
It's like I'm an actor who sings. Which is very
different than being a singer who acts or a singer
m And it's that way that way with business. I
(23:21):
am a storyteller, entertainer, producer, director who also is in business.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Right right right when you were partying, how could you
have that same work ethic or you were just partying
and then you would wake up and you would just
be hurting a little bit. You always had the same
work ethic, just exhausted a little stripped.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Exactly when I'm out of you danceeteria at the Hampton's
till you know, four o'clock in the morning and I
got to get up to shoot Masquerade, you just you
suck it up and go.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Yeah, yeah, I get that.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
You know.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Also it's a little bit of like you emulate your idols,
and you know, my idols today are really really different
than they were then. But then you know, it was
like Jack Nicholson Man, he's out partying, is at the Roxy,
you know, the shades on at two am, and then
he's on the set of the Witches of Eastwick, Man's
(24:17):
Courtside of the Laker Games. It lives up in Mohuland,
and he's got seventeen girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Man.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Yeah, like that was what I thought was cool. Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
In many ways, I don't. The younger generation. I worry
about them, but not in that way. I think they're
more evolved in wanting to feel good and drinking macha
and asai, and whether it all works or.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Not, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
But they're aware of like well being in balance where
we were not.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
But I'm the same as you. It's a prose play,
hurt model, tough shit.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
One one Honda, same with my same with my wife.
Same and you know little and John Oen, my my
acting son. Uh, you know, he's he's very open about it.
He's also sober, and he was the same. He was
like pros play hurt right, work hard, play hard.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yeah, but yeah, but now it doesn't have to be
it doesn't have to be so exhausting.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
It's okay to feel good.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
So sobriety is a major major role in your career.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
And in and in our family's life, for sure major.
I wouldn't have anything without it, really what it is is,
I think it would have been just the law of
diminishing returns. I would been like the frog the slowly
gets boiled alive in the in the in the in
the water as you incrementally just you know, can't feel it,
(25:40):
and just yeah, that would have been me with my
you know, personal life and career.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Like death by a thousand paper cuts. It was just like, yeah,
well that's my Was it really hard to quit everything
or was it? Like they're different, They're fifty shades of addiction.
I've taken classes on it. And some people are bingers,
some people are just always in their life. They call
it a French type alcoholic, and some people really hit rock.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
So what was your relationship to substances?
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Mine was I was kind of a periodic, they would say.
And so you're, you know, you're up at Charlie Sheen's
pool and you got your coronas and you're you're working
out at the gym. You's being tough, and then you
have a couple of coronas and then the next thing
you know, you're you know, you're you're you're looking for
the blow or whatever, maybe because it's nighttime and you
(26:31):
go out to and then you're chasing girls around and
you're doing it's like you're twenty you're nineteen, twenty twenty
one years old, and and that was sort of the
vibe for me, and I just at a certain point
realized that I was never going to have the life
I wanted continuing that. And so when I was ready,
(26:56):
I went to Sierra Tucson and and it was the
best thing I ever did. And I actually loved being
in rehab. I loved it. I learned so much. I
was always a pleasure to have in class. In school,
I was in the front, I'm in the front row
raising my hand. That was always me. And I was
(27:18):
the same in rehab. And I learned a ton And
you know, you know, by the grace of God, I've
never had to slip. I've never had to go back.
I got from the minute I got sober, I've stayed sober.
I was thirty three years ago.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Because you work your ass off, so you work your
ass But is it is it a struggle now or
it's just is.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
What it is?
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Right, it's in my DNA, it's being you know, having
the ism is a struggle because it's like whack a mole. Yeah,
like every decade there's I realized that it's morphed into
something else that I need to look at and like,
right now this is going to sound insane, but I
know it's driven from the same thing. It's waking up
(28:00):
at midnight and going, you know what, you need to
go to the kitchen and binge on some hogindaws.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
It's noise. The noise is in a different area.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
Now, Yeah, you know, some people it's gambling, some people
at sex. Some people it's uh workaholism. Yeah, some people
it's overtraining. I mean it yeah, never goes away. It
just moves and just hopefully it moves into stuff that's
less and less harmful and easier and easier to deal with.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Mine is organizing and getting rid of. It's obsessive, It's
it's insane.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
I mean, it's that that's mine.
Speaker 4 (28:38):
Are you a collector or getting get rid of I'm
not a hoarder at all, but I Freud would have
a field day with me walking into this accidental influencer
business and everybody sending me everything, and so there's a.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Curiosity about it. And also I like to purchase. I'm
a purchaser of certain things that I do collect, and
then I just get overwhelmed by that we really don't
need so much and why is this all here? And
I just wanted, you know, but it's definitely not a hoarder'
I have the most organized the Macula house you could imagine.
But it's just I'm just there's too much in coming
(29:14):
out going stuff, you know. Like that's why I wouldn't
be good at really being an interior designer, because it
would be too noisy for me to have like a J.
Dart or candles or like I don't want like a
storage facility of any shit ever.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I want it out. So that's a sickness.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Yeah, no, I like it.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Yeah, it's a good one. It's not it's like working out.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
It's good because I could come into your house and
organize it and you'd be so happy.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
It's so funny you say that, because again, one of
the things about my wife that I remember, you know,
and I was actively dating big time and she was
among the people that I was seeing, and she came
over and organized my coffee table, the books on my
coffee table. As long as I live, no one else
(30:00):
done that.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
That's nice.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
No one else's never done that.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
That's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
Well, your marriage is a big part of your identity too,
and you seem to be pretty good at it. No
marriage is perfect, but I'm asking if, like you've had
serious bumps to make us all feel better about our
miserable lives, or have you not?
Speaker 3 (30:19):
And this is one of the reasons why, you know,
to the extent that I ever hesitated to talk about it.
The temptation is that, oh, well, it must be perfect,
and well, sure, anybody can be married for thirty three
years if it's perfect and there aren't any struggles or
you know, and that's not the case. I mean, it
just isn't, you know. Every it's it's no different than
(30:41):
a long career. If you are in a long marriage
or if you're in a long career, by definition, you're
going to have those fallow periods because nothing in life
remains the same. Nothing nothing, nothing, nothing, stock market, business relationships,
(31:02):
they all have their ups and downs. And I think
the difference is both in careers and marriages, is how
you react when they're down. And that's an amazing point,
and that's the difference. That is literally the difference in
a long career, short career, or a long marriage or
a short marriage is what do you do? Do you run?
Do you blame? Can you live in acceptance? Can you change?
(31:26):
Can the other person change? Can you forgive? Can you
take responsibility all of those things, and a lot of
people can't do any of them.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
It's a great point. And do you lean in and
be like all right, let's let's work this thing through,
or like you.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Said, we work hard. Listen, we do marriage therapy even
when we don't quote unquote need it.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
You want to lock the door so you don't get robbed.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
So yeah, and it's like it's like you too, it's
to you send your car and to get tuned up.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
So true, it's such a that's a great that's such
a that's that's that's really a great note. And so
you've had some serious roadblocks, like you've been canceled in
a time when people didn't even get canceled. And I've
thought about not even since meeting you, I've thought about
that in my life.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
I don't know why that.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
I don't believe that would even be on the board
for cancelation as long like things hit differently back then,
and so it was looked bad to me overall. On
a one to ten of like your career being stratospheric,
I envisioned it that your career was stratospheric. You hit
a brick wall and then you were not present for
(32:36):
a while, and then all of a sudden you started
to slowly come back in different types of things.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
That's how I perceive it. So how accurate is that.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
I would say that that's pretty accurate. I would say
that there are two things that I think that that
add to it a little more context. One is I
actually think that in many ways, my ill fated appearance
(33:07):
on the Academy Awards did as much damage. I was
asked to open the Academy Awards and to do a
song with snow White, and it felt like a really
good idea at the time, and it was a terrible idea.
It was a badly conceived It was supposed to be silly,
(33:30):
and people hated it. And then I think it Then
post all of that, I got sober, went away to rehab,
got serious with my wife, got married, moved out of
LA started having kids. So I was, I mean, I'm
(33:55):
sure it was a sort of a mutual decision in
terms of Hollywood and me, Like I was. I look,
I spent the eighties dealing work, building my career, and
I spent the nineties building myself.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Wow. So you so it was the bestest thing that
ever happened to you.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
In ways not in ways, it was the best thing
that ever happened to me, full stop.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Do you feel like you were so like it was
it was almost like a self fulfilling prophecy to have failed.
You feel like you were reckless and like kind of
looking for something you were looking for a.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
While to hit one hundred percent. No, I absolutely remember
feeling like, like, you know, it's it's it's it's the
the criminal that that once wants to be arrested. Stop.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Wow. So so you were you You weren't like, oh fuck,
my career is over because you take that kind of
make that kind of change. Did you have a backup
plan or did you know you have enough control over
who you are and that you're robblow and that you
can come back when you decide, Because most people like
you said, if someone knocks on the door, you're going
to sell your house. If you go away, you could
be obsolete in the entertainment industry.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
I never thought about it in that way. And then
I because all I was thinking about at the time
when I was getting sober was it's time for me.
I'm getting I'm doing this for me. I'm not doing
it for my career. I'm not doing it for public consumption.
I'm not doing it to stay together with my then
(35:29):
girlfriend Cheryl, who became my wife. I was doing it
for me and it was probably the first thing that
I ever really did just for me ever, and it
was all I could think about. It required everything and
anything else that bubbled up around it, like what about
my career? What about it? I was like, don't care.
Right well, let the chips fall where they may. Who
(35:51):
knows I'm.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Doing It's funny.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Matthew McConaughey made a similar I don't know if you
read his book Green Lights, but he made a similar
decision about like I'm not taking these like shirtless rom coms,
and he stood tight. He just knew there was a
moment when he had to do something, and that was
my moment, was leaving the housewives. As ridiculous as that sounds,
it was millions of dollars, and it was you know,
my business manager said, or my someone said, trees grow high,
(36:14):
they don't grow high to the s guy, take the
millions of dollars right now until you can't get it anymore.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
And I made.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
A decision to intervene, and just like this is like
I've got to reinvent and do everything differently now. And
it's a nice feeling. And people have to be in
tune and aware and courageous enough to do that.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
But we'll also to hear the voice inside of them
and honor that. Yes, you have to be courageous on
top of that to do it.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
What age was that at that you that you did
that twenty six?
Speaker 1 (36:43):
That was young to be making those kind of big
boy decisions to be like getting going and going to
rehabit and getting married.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
That was you.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
You peaked early.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
Well, you know, I I had a lot of life.
I had more life experience than the average twenty six
yearl that's for sure. I'd been more, done more, seen more,
learned more. And but yes, looking back on it, it's
younger than any of my kids are now. Yeah, totally
(37:11):
that I look back on it and go, what the hell?
Speaker 2 (37:13):
So?
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Lauren Michael's once said to me at dinner. He was
talking about somebody else on SNL or something. It wasn't
about me, but I just never forget it. He said,
you have to make an exit to be able to
make an entrance.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
It's such a great It's one of my favorite laurenisms.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
The last two questions I have. People have given me
one piece of advice, like I don't fix them, I
fix me, or every day we check in once a day.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
These things that I sometimes say.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Oh god, well I don't do that, Like what is
your thing that you guys do that seems simple to
you but would help other people in relationships?
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Well, there's two things. The number one thing is, let's
hope you've chosen right to begin with, because really the
die is cast with who you choose, because, as you
allude to in the advice, you can't change another person.
(38:11):
Changing yourself is hard. It's like Cheryl and I are
simpotico on so many things, money, politics, where we want
to go on vacations. Uniforms are not uniforms in schools.
I mean you name it, not name the list of
(38:36):
from the from the banal to the really intense. And
I am going to be on the exact same page
with her all the time. Now we happen to disagree
on something very important to me. Comedy. Cheryl Lowe does
not understand comedy.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
She doesn't and what do you mean she doesn't understand common?
But like, does she not think you were funny because
I know couples were one person's funny and the other
person doesn't think they're funny.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Does she think you're funny?
Speaker 3 (39:06):
She's smart enough to know that other people think I'm funny. See, yes,
no she doesn't. She's a horrible laugh for me. She's
a black hole. Oh in my one man shows, and
it's a it's a running joke amongst our friends and family.
So like, by the way, for some people, that would
be a barrier to entry.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
One hundred percent. I'm a comedy snob. And would you
think she's she funny?
Speaker 3 (39:32):
No? See? Wow, here's another thing. And I've had I had,
I had one girlfriend in particular. All we did was laugh.
It was fucking amazing. But you know what, it's it's fine,
It's it's she would have, by the way, a terrible
wife and a terrible life partner. Right. You know, she
(39:56):
just doesn't like Bruce Springsteen and her music. I feel
like I can feel the pot smoke in the air
when I listen to the music.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
That's my fiance, Paul. It's say, it's like fish and
Grateful Dead. Yeah, and it's funny. But the music, the
music and the comedy, those aren't what I call in
a book that I wrote called I Suck at relationships.
So you don't have to fundamental differences. I believe you
can't have fundamental differences by and large, like the things
(40:25):
that you know, just like you said the way you
parent money, things like that, like values, core values. And
then the last question is what was your rose and
your thorn of your career?
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Ooh, I think the rose continues to be the rose,
which is I. For whatever reason, I have been able
to plant my flag in the comedy world and the
drama world. And I also have not been pigeonholed in
(41:02):
that I can do funny commercials for Direct TV, and
I can do a serious drama in the West End
in London, and I can produce and do a game show.
I can. I kind of get to do whatever. I
can write best selling books, I can. I can kind
(41:22):
of do whatever I think is interesting and that I'm
going to learn from without it bumping people, when people
saying what the hell and people accepting it. So to me,
that's the that's if there's a rose, that's the rose
and the thorn. Probably. I mean, I'm such an optimist
(41:43):
it's hard for me to even think of what the
thorn is, I don't know. I think the thorn is
more systemic, and I think the thorn is just that
the business is so much harder than it's ever been.
It's it's harder on every level.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
And you work hard because it's just who you are.
You're not necessarily working towards something like, you're just always
setting new goals and you just like to work.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
It's the journey.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
It's the It's for sure the journey. I mean, I
think the minute you thinking go, ah, well I've done it,
or well I've really don't. I never allow myself to
I feel exactly the same as I did at the
beginning of my career. Other than I also will allow
myself to look back and see how far I've come.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
We're the same age. I think you got a second
wind because I got a second win. Like sometimes you
think maybe it's a little exhausting and I want to
rest a little, and I maybe near done. And I
don't know if that's like self defense or something, you
know it any self protection, But I've caught a big
wind and it feels good. I think it's this age,
you know, it's like not a midlife crisis. It's just
like a reinvigoration and really fine tuning, like sharpening the
(42:58):
knife so you don't have to waste time swimming with
your arms and legs, wasting all this energy.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
You're like right hooked in.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Yeah. The other thing is I don't. I definitely experience
and and and and life has gotten me to a
place where I also really know where I'm valuable and
what my value is. I'm not. I'm not suffering fools
anymore anymore. I really did, and and I know, even
(43:27):
though I'm super diverse and what I'm interested in, I
also know my lane if that makes any sense. Yeah,
I counterintuitive, but but but I really know, like where
what moves the needle for me.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Well that's kind of what I mean.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
You don't need to fuck around and waste time, like
you know what you're supposed to do. You'll take chances
if you're inspired. But like it's a quality versus quantity model. Yeah,
I love it. I love meeting you, talking to you
and knowing you and versa. Really, so we're friends now.
And when I'm in Santa Barbara, I'm coming over.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Yeah, I'll show you, I'll show you the real estate.
I mean we need. Yes, you need, as they say,
a footprint over here.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
I think, yes, I do.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
I love it. My daughter loves it. So so amazing
talking to you. Thank you for having me on your show,
and thank you for coming online. And give my love
to your family.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
I will. And this is great. It was. It was
so fun to be a guest.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
It's different for you.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
Oh my god, it's this is this is the best.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
I mean, you're a good guest. You're a very good guest.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
Oh good. Yeah, I even't lost it by being a
host for so long. Now home.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
No, you're a very good host and you're a very
good guest. So that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Yeah, really good. That's why I wanted to talk forever.
You're just very good guests. So thank you for talking
to me.
Speaker 3 (44:42):
Thank you. It was great being here.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
I was on Rob Lowe's podcast, and I really liked him.
He's a good talker, he's a good listener. He's evolved,
he is emotionally intelligent, he is a hard worker, he's
very inspirational, and I really really enjoyed doing his podcast,
(45:04):
and I'm honored and humbled that he wanted to do mine.
You know, as a result of that conversation, because I
do think that sometimes people think I'm just some nit
wit reality star, and there are just some times that
people come on and I feel like I'm not worthy,
and it was exciting to have him on, and I
thought he was extraordinary, as good a guest as he
(45:27):
is a host
My guest today is actor, filmmaker and podcast host Rob Low.
You may know him from The West Wing and Saint
Elmo's Fire by the Way iconic show and movie, but
today Rob is the star of Fox's nine one one
Lone Star and host of Literally with Rob Low.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
This is just me with Rob Loow. Let's get into it. Hi,
So I talk to you.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
A lot of people commented on me doing your show, like,
isn't it funny the types of people that come out
of the woodwork when you do different things and then
you realize why you do different things.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yes, I'm so. I'm so interested to know you did
my podcast Literally and you were great. I had a
great talk with you. What was the reaction on your end?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
The reaction was great.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
But like I said from different people that I don't
you know, you're always marketing to the same audience because
they're your audience. And so that's why, that's why the
model of podcasts and doing different types of things and
having different people on yours does really work because different
like random like David Lasher who was Vinnie from Blossom,
was like I listened to you on Rob Blows. I'm
like what, Like it was just so weird all of it.
(01:22):
I was like, oh, and he's like, I loved what
you said. It was so inspirational, and he I know him,
and he's like, I didn't even know your story, so
you know, it hit differently, which is which is nice,
which says a lot about about you and the combination
of us who are in a similar generation but speaking
to some similar people. And then I'm sure you know
different people. But I enjoyed it. I felt like I
(01:44):
know you now. And and I was in Santa Barbara recently.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
And I felt like, I know I. Yeah, I know Roblo.
I'm in Barbara. I have friends here.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Well it's well, that's I love hearing that, and I
it's It's true, isn't it? Like it is always interesting
to me when we are out giving interviews or selling
a product or a movie or TV or whatever. Who
is watching or listening to what It's endlessly fascinating to me.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yeah, I mean, I really do think that if I'm
not a person who likes unsolicited advice or visits, but
if I were that person, and I feel like if
I knocked on your door, you'd be like, hey, come
on in.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I feel like we're friends. Now, so I'm.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Already feeling bad that you didn't say, Hey, I'm in
Santa Barbara, let's get coffee.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I think I message on Instagram, but I don't know
if you got it. I forget if, like.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
You know my Instagram. I it's like I'm not as
good as following the comments maybe as I should be.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah, no, I don't believe me. I mean I went
with my daughter. We stayed at Calamy Goes Ranch and
Malibu and then drove.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
For the day.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
What's it like to stay there?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
So Mark Gervitz is a power comedy manager who lives
in Malibi, like deep Malibu. There's Malibu and then there's
like deeper Malibu. And I was going to an invented
his house to see Adam Sandler and a bunch of people.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
And I wanted to have.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
A staycation versus stay in La where you're going to
transact and you're going to be in the business of
show and I didn't want. I wanted to be on
a vacation and feel like I could go to the beach,
and Malibu is different. So we stayed at this place,
Klamigos Ranch, which is like very ranchy and very malibuish
and very cowboy buddish and rustic and different than most
of LA And everybody that I've told that I stayed
(03:33):
there was like, oh, yeah, no, I've never stayed there
or I've never been there, and I was like, what
do you mean?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
It's it was shocking. Yeah, So I loved it.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
When I was a kid, when I was in junior
high that everybody went to summer camp at Kalamigos Ranch. Yeah. Oh,
and it's been different things. It's been a proper ranch
and that it's been defunct and then it's been revitalized.
But it's I've never stayed there.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
So then we went to your town and I love
You're in Santa I love that town of Santa Barbara.
I've been to Monacito and we did that, but like
that street in Santa Barbara with all those pianos on,
it was amazing.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
I know, right, they've shut since COVID, they shut down
State Street and it's now like a you know, a plaza,
walking plaza. It's Those are two of my favorite places
in Alibu and Montecito and Santa Barbara three of my
favorite I should say.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Likewise, Okay, so I've done a little bit of reading
about you, and I had always peripherally gotten a sense
of you, like I knew you married a makeup artist
or your makeup artist, and I was sadly jealous at
the time, and I was just thinking, like, why her
not me? And I didn't even know you, So that
was this good reason why we didn't know each other.
(04:53):
So you got We talked on your podcasts about this
a little bit. But you you started in you were
in Ohio and and then you went to la or
you started in Virginia.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Yeah, I was. I was born in Charlottesville, where my
dad was had just graduated from law school, and then they,
my mother and my dad moved to Dayton and that's
where I had my childhood. My proper you know, from
six months old to twelve was in Dayton, so I
got a real Midwestern childhood. And then my mom and
(05:25):
dad divorced and we ended up in directly from Dayton
to Point Doom in Malibu, which was like going to Mars. Wow.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
That's a Fred Hayman from Georgia, Beverly Hills. I planned
and organized his wedding and so that was my first
experience at Point Doom.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Yeah. Point Doom is there's Malibu and then this's Point Doom.
It's a whole different vibe very and my great obsession
is I want to do a movie or miniseries or
book about what life was like in Malibu but on
Point Doom, in particular in the mid to late seventies,
because it was.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Not wait so hold on, I was staying when you
went down to the left was Paradise Cove and then
to the Point Doom is not in Malibu.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
It's like its own thing.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
No, it's a part of Malibu, but it's it's it's
because it's a point Okay, it's it's its own neighborhood.
It's it's you know, it's not on the pch like
everything else is. And uh, it's it's just a weird
I don't know if it's the Indian Shoemash mojo there,
(06:40):
but it's both really exciting and interesting and really dark
and weird all at the same time.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Is are there are there reservations there?
Speaker 3 (06:49):
No? But it's okay, But it's all real shoemash you know,
the original you know, people of the area. It's it's
very viby in that way. Lots of arrowheads and history.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
What high school did you go to?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
There was no high school in Malibu then there is now,
and we had to take the bus twenty two miles
to Santa Monica to go to high school.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
So you went to Santa Monica High School. Wow?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Okay, so you really But I mean, starting at twelve,
you kind of really are a California boy and you
really never left that sphere, Like you're not that far
from there now. I mean, you're in that vibe too.
There's a Malibu vibe, and I feel like Santa Barbara
is like a Malibu adjacent vibe, having spent that weekend
wanting to go that way versus go the other way
into La.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Yeah, for sure. And again when Malibu, when I moved there,
it was not a show business enclave it is now.
There was a time, you know, I would say in
the early eighties when the studio executives and the agents
all moved out there. But when I grew up there,
it's what Santa Barbara and Montecito were when I moved
(07:59):
up here, which is super rural. People ride their horses
down the street. Wow, not a company town. You get
all walks of life when you like, you know, if
I'm coaching little League, I'm you know, there's the dad's
work in every line of work you could imagine, and
they're not all in show business. So it's it's just
(08:22):
I'm attracted to a little bit of more diversity of
thought and of experience.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
And moving your kids to Santa Barbara when they were
at an age where things are more influential. That was
obviously intentional. Is that because of your Midwestern roots, like
you just wanted to feel some version of that.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Yeah, I wanted. I wanted them to be able to
be outside a lot. I wanted I wanted, you know,
up here we could we could go to the beach,
maybe take a hike, go to the zoo, and go
to a movie. We could do that all in one
day up here, and in la As, you know, that's
(09:04):
you could do one of them right in a day.
And if you're in Malibu, you can really only do
one of them.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
And where's your wife from.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
She's a born and bred valley girl.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
She's a valley girl, Okay.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And Vally, they're very she is a valley girl, you know, Hollywood.
She grew up in both areas.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
So you dragged her.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
I dragged her oh, I dragged her.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
She dragged her.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Yeah, she was not having it. I had a real
vision though, of I mean, every once in a while
I have a I have a vision of what I
want to do, not all the time, but every once
in a while. And I really was like, this is
really right for us. And I mean it's one of
the smartest things that we ever did as a family,
was was was move up here both I mean in
terms of our lifestyle, what it did for our relationships,
(09:54):
for our marriage, for our kids, and and financially. As
it turns out, more than anything, I've done better in
real estate in Minasita than I've done in my entertainment career.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
That's what I was The next question I was gonna
ask is did you invest in? You invest early?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
YEP? I did years ago yep, and Monacito became only
just continued to become more attractive. And then between people
being able to work from home, the rise of Zoom,
the experience of COVID and a big hotel opening up
(10:33):
the Miramar that brought people from all over the world
to see it, and Megan and Harry moving in, all
of those things turned Monacito into another version of the Hamptons,
which it never was.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
You said last time, and I spoke to you that
you don't. I don't think you consider yourself a very
good business person or do you?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Or do you?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
It depends. I definitely consider myself a business person, for sure.
You do, so, okay, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Like you are thinking business first, You're marketing your business,
You're you have a chessboard that you're working in your mind.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
I mean, it doesn't supersede my creative but I like
to think that I can get them both to exist
equally within me and neither one is a detriment to
the other.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
And who So when you started making money acting, you
started investing or that was just you buying your personal property,
Like what was your business trajectory it was?
Speaker 3 (11:31):
It was really just buying the personal property, really and
then you know, selling it and you know, doing well
and moving up the ladder, and then selling that and
doing well and then starting to invest in other areas
of real estate, which is really and I got to
give my wife credit. She has really been the impetus
(11:52):
behind that.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Behind the investing in other real estate.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
In real estate period, She's got an amazing, amazing sniffer for.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Real estate, the vision of what something could be.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Yes, insane, Yeah, we're just insane.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I love that and I've done that personally a lot,
and it was almost unintentional. But during the pandemic, I
flipped three places and I never I was thinking about
you talking about your personal real estate for people who
are thinking about business in different ways. For me, anytime
I go to look at something, I always think about,
even if it's for an investment, if I would live there,
(12:31):
Because if the shit hits the fan and you have
five different pieces on the board, you could sell four
and you'd be willing to live in any of them,
like they all work for you.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
I like that freedom of thought.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Where I like that, but if I end up not
liking it, like a place on the water, maybe I
don't know what it's like to live on the water,
but I fantasize about it. I just bought a place,
but I know I could move it or rent it.
I like to be nimble and the pieces like that.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yeah, and for us, the straight investment real estate is
new ish. And you know we we we weren't flippers,
and I don't We're not. Our homes are our homes,
and we live in them. And but we've just had
those those things where people have said, you know, we'd
(13:18):
like to buy it, and you name the price, and
I go, you know what I'm gonna At the end
of the day, I'm still an actor for hire. I
sort of have a fiduciary responsibility to my family to
to say yes to this. But it's not like I'm
I ever build any home to flip.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
It, right, I understand, but your but your wife is
probably thinking of things being somewhat not neutral.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
But I think people think about that in design too.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
You know, you're not putting like crocodile walls because you
never know what could happen if someone knocks on the door.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Oh yeah, Willison, for sure. And I think it's one
of the reasons we have been able to do what
we do is when we we just found a big,
an amazing piece of property. It's a legacy property, been
around since eighteen seventy seven. And when you have something
like that, you have to build something on it that's
equal to the property. And if you don't, then you're
(14:11):
actually taking money off the table. So it's a weird thing.
You're going to spend more, but you're actually making more
than if you you know, you know what I mean.
It's like, yes, you've got if you've got to, you
got to.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
If you're gonna do it, you're gonna do it. Yeah, exactly,
you got to do it right. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I live on a house it's seventeen forty three on
a property with an apple orchard, and like I don't
mess around with the original wood in the house or
like I just I you have to honor it.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
This is what you're saying. You're honoring.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
You're not gonna like spec house it up on eighteen
hundred's property. So you've done well, You've made money and
in show business and in real estate. How do you
(14:58):
I know you're you have and that you wanted to
move them there for them to have this sort of
balance and be grounded.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
How do you raise rich kids?
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Because I've talked to more Cuban about this, I've talked
to myself about this and has it worked and your kids,
you know, well adjusted work for themselves?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Like did you do this? Did you nail it?
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Well? First of all, you know, it's all relative. Even
what is rich, right is relative? You know, Mark Cuban's
got more money than you.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I do, no, But but even the gay he still
doesn't want really really really asshole spoiled kids. So he's
harder for him because he's flying on a private plane.
We're flying first class, so like at your level, I.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Guess, you know, And.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Well, first of all, I think my kids, if you
ask them, they legitimately would not consider themselves rich. Legit,
that's not in the ethos, Like they know they have
this trust fund or they know that when I know
people like this, I've worked with people like who know
(16:02):
that when their dad or mom kicks the bucket or
when grandpa kicks the bucket, they're coming into you know,
a lot of money. They and they you know, it's
always out there in their lives. Obviously that's not my family.
I think that they grew up thinking and having certainly
the experience of being not any different than a lot
(16:26):
of the other kids. Other than you know, maybe the
vacations were nicer, and you know, like you said, maybe
we flew more often. But I tried to give them
a really normal sticks that I could upbringing. I think
the thing that makes it really different is the fame
part of it.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Oh interesting, okay, right right.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Because you know you can be worth four billion dollars
and you can walk into a restaurant nobody knows who
you are, and you can be worth you know, four
hundred thousand dollars and walk into a restaurant and it
stops dead in its tracks. So it's a funny. It's
a funny thing. So I really think there's the how
do you deal with with money? And then there's how
(17:11):
do you deal with being in a family that is
in the public eye?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
And are you just are you insular you're not out
that much? Or you live in a place where no
one cares? And you know, what's it like when you're
with them in La?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Do they care? Do they What is that like in
your house? Fame? And is your wife annoyed by it?
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Well, the thing is the one of the reasons I
consciously moved out of La was I didn't want my
kids growing up, you know, around paparazzi and and and
and where the currency of the realm is your fame,
(17:50):
and that just is what it is in La. There's
no way to skin that cat. When I grew up
in Malibu, there were there were horses at the hitching
posts at the market. They're gone and they're replaced with
paparazzi staking people out, which wasn't there. So I tried
I recreated it, and so they just didn't. They'd come
(18:15):
home and go Dad. They'd visit a friend in Melibou. Dad.
They had a screening room and we watched a movie
there and Jim Carrey came over and they're talking like
they're from you know, Ohio, right, you know, and and that,
and I was like, yeah, that's good. They should be.
They should have stars in their eyes like that and
(18:36):
feel that way. And you know, my other my son
is the actor, didn't start out that way. He started
out as a a stem cell scientist and went to
Stanford and then came out and decided he wanted to
be an actor and a writer. And of course I
was that was not a happy day for me. I
was like, I had a molecular biologist have an actor.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
My daughter kind of acts like when she went from
this public school to this private school, she acted like
she was sort of on scholarship. She was like, oh
my god, mom, they give free art supplies and she
was so excited. And I think that's because, you know,
just because I buy things that I want or I
worked hard to get all this.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
It doesn't mean it's a free for all.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
And I have all these rules that you know, if
you really want something, you have to give something up
or you have to work for it. And it is
a discipline like I do really work really hard, and
I do have to pull on the reins a lot,
and I like that. I think it's like it feels
like a project, Like your kids are the best possible
project's you get such a ROI on the time you
(19:43):
invest in them and these kind of principles, and you
can be struggling financially and have spoiled kids for sure.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Entitled spoiled. You know, it happens, It can happen to
It can happen to kids anywhere. Yah, really it really absolutely.
Entitlement is I think the worst, the worst element of it.
But I also think that they take their cues from
their parents. And you know, I work my ass off
(20:15):
and and so yeah, and so does Cheryl. Oh, I
mean she, I mean she literally this week flew to
Washington for her jewelry business, came home last night, flew
to Arizona and came home and she's out there on
the floor selling Neiman Marcus, doing her thing. It's like
(20:36):
she's have to do that.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
No, but yeah, and have you ever like, was there?
Speaker 1 (20:43):
It's my turn in your relationship because it's been very
much about you and your career.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Was there.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
It's my turn after her, you know, helping you raise
the kids and all that, or it's just always been
an ebb and flow.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
It's always been that way. I Mean, one of the
reasons I married her was she had this and remains.
She has the strongest work ethic of anybody I've ever known.
And that's saying something because mine is strong. And so
whether it's raising the raising the kids, or starting a
makeup line, or or building the homes that we have
(21:14):
or the or then she had, she also has from
time to time built for other people. She always has
always worked, she will always.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Work interesting and so your work ethic comes from your
upbringing and your family, right.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Yeah. But part of it I think is Listen, I
think part of its genetic because my mom was sort
of very artsy and not really a worker. My dad
is eighty four and still goes into the office, uh,
you know, practices law. My grandpa, who is very close
(21:54):
to my mom's side, just a eighth grade education, you know.
It became the first millionaire in his city. You know,
So it's it's kind of I think it's kind of
in the DNA a little bit. Maybe.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
So you were always working your ass off, like you're
working as hard as you were when you were younger,
Like you were always this.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Way paper routes, you know, bus boy. I mean I
did get fired from every job that I had that
wasn't around show business because I'm not really cut out
for the real world methany.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
But but you're cut out for show business, and while
I guess real estate, you're you're cut out for non
traditional business.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
Yes, I am. I designed first of all. I had
designed my entire life to try to not deal with math.
And you know, listen that I'm really good on the
other side of my brain, and I've I've really learned
a lot about I can get by with numbers, obviously,
because you have to if you're going to be in
any kind of a business. But I avoid it. It's
(22:58):
not my jam. I don't like it. I appreciate people
who do. I'm very much a creative person with a
you know what It's like, people say, do you sing?
It's like I'm an actor who sings. Which is very
different than being a singer who acts or a singer
m And it's that way that way with business. I
(23:21):
am a storyteller, entertainer, producer, director who also is in business.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Right right right when you were partying, how could you
have that same work ethic or you were just partying
and then you would wake up and you would just
be hurting a little bit. You always had the same
work ethic, just exhausted a little stripped.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Exactly when I'm out of you danceeteria at the Hampton's
till you know, four o'clock in the morning and I
got to get up to shoot Masquerade, you just you
suck it up and go.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Yeah, yeah, I get that.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
You know.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Also it's a little bit of like you emulate your idols,
and you know, my idols today are really really different
than they were then. But then you know, it was
like Jack Nicholson Man, he's out partying, is at the Roxy,
you know, the shades on at two am, and then
he's on the set of the Witches of Eastwick, Man's
(24:17):
Courtside of the Laker Games. It lives up in Mohuland,
and he's got seventeen girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Man.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Yeah, like that was what I thought was cool. Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
In many ways, I don't. The younger generation. I worry
about them, but not in that way. I think they're
more evolved in wanting to feel good and drinking macha
and asai, and whether it all works or.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Not, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
But they're aware of like well being in balance where
we were not.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
But I'm the same as you. It's a prose play,
hurt model, tough shit.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
One one Honda, same with my same with my wife.
Same and you know little and John Oen, my my
acting son. Uh, you know, he's he's very open about it.
He's also sober, and he was the same. He was
like pros play hurt right, work hard, play hard.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yeah, but yeah, but now it doesn't have to be
it doesn't have to be so exhausting.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
It's okay to feel good.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
So sobriety is a major major role in your career.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
And in and in our family's life, for sure major.
I wouldn't have anything without it, really what it is is,
I think it would have been just the law of
diminishing returns. I would been like the frog the slowly
gets boiled alive in the in the in the in
the water as you incrementally just you know, can't feel it,
(25:40):
and just yeah, that would have been me with my
you know, personal life and career.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Like death by a thousand paper cuts. It was just like, yeah,
well that's my Was it really hard to quit everything
or was it? Like they're different, They're fifty shades of addiction.
I've taken classes on it. And some people are bingers,
some people are just always in their life. They call
it a French type alcoholic, and some people really hit rock.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
So what was your relationship to substances?
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Mine was I was kind of a periodic, they would say.
And so you're, you know, you're up at Charlie Sheen's
pool and you got your coronas and you're you're working
out at the gym. You's being tough, and then you
have a couple of coronas and then the next thing
you know, you're you know, you're you're you're looking for
the blow or whatever, maybe because it's nighttime and you
(26:31):
go out to and then you're chasing girls around and
you're doing it's like you're twenty you're nineteen, twenty twenty
one years old, and and that was sort of the
vibe for me, and I just at a certain point
realized that I was never going to have the life
I wanted continuing that. And so when I was ready,
(26:56):
I went to Sierra Tucson and and it was the
best thing I ever did. And I actually loved being
in rehab. I loved it. I learned so much. I
was always a pleasure to have in class. In school,
I was in the front, I'm in the front row
raising my hand. That was always me. And I was
(27:18):
the same in rehab. And I learned a ton And
you know, you know, by the grace of God, I've
never had to slip. I've never had to go back.
I got from the minute I got sober, I've stayed sober.
I was thirty three years ago.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Because you work your ass off, so you work your
ass But is it is it a struggle now or
it's just is.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
What it is?
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Right, it's in my DNA, it's being you know, having
the ism is a struggle because it's like whack a mole. Yeah,
like every decade there's I realized that it's morphed into
something else that I need to look at and like,
right now this is going to sound insane, but I
know it's driven from the same thing. It's waking up
(28:00):
at midnight and going, you know what, you need to
go to the kitchen and binge on some hogindaws.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
It's noise. The noise is in a different area.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
Now, Yeah, you know, some people it's gambling, some people
at sex. Some people it's uh workaholism. Yeah, some people
it's overtraining. I mean it yeah, never goes away. It
just moves and just hopefully it moves into stuff that's
less and less harmful and easier and easier to deal with.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Mine is organizing and getting rid of. It's obsessive, It's
it's insane.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
I mean, it's that that's mine.
Speaker 4 (28:38):
Are you a collector or getting get rid of I'm
not a hoarder at all, but I Freud would have
a field day with me walking into this accidental influencer
business and everybody sending me everything, and so there's a.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Curiosity about it. And also I like to purchase. I'm
a purchaser of certain things that I do collect, and
then I just get overwhelmed by that we really don't
need so much and why is this all here? And
I just wanted, you know, but it's definitely not a hoarder'
I have the most organized the Macula house you could imagine.
But it's just I'm just there's too much in coming
(29:14):
out going stuff, you know. Like that's why I wouldn't
be good at really being an interior designer, because it
would be too noisy for me to have like a J.
Dart or candles or like I don't want like a
storage facility of any shit ever.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I want it out. So that's a sickness.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Yeah, no, I like it.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Yeah, it's a good one. It's not it's like working out.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
It's good because I could come into your house and
organize it and you'd be so happy.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
It's so funny you say that, because again, one of
the things about my wife that I remember, you know,
and I was actively dating big time and she was
among the people that I was seeing, and she came
over and organized my coffee table, the books on my
coffee table. As long as I live, no one else
(30:00):
done that.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
That's nice.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
No one else's never done that.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
That's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
Well, your marriage is a big part of your identity too,
and you seem to be pretty good at it. No
marriage is perfect, but I'm asking if, like you've had
serious bumps to make us all feel better about our
miserable lives, or have you not?
Speaker 3 (30:19):
And this is one of the reasons why, you know,
to the extent that I ever hesitated to talk about it.
The temptation is that, oh, well, it must be perfect,
and well, sure, anybody can be married for thirty three
years if it's perfect and there aren't any struggles or
you know, and that's not the case. I mean, it
just isn't, you know. Every it's it's no different than
(30:41):
a long career. If you are in a long marriage
or if you're in a long career, by definition, you're
going to have those fallow periods because nothing in life
remains the same. Nothing nothing, nothing, nothing, stock market, business relationships,
(31:02):
they all have their ups and downs. And I think
the difference is both in careers and marriages, is how
you react when they're down. And that's an amazing point,
and that's the difference. That is literally the difference in
a long career, short career, or a long marriage or
a short marriage is what do you do? Do you run?
Do you blame? Can you live in acceptance? Can you change?
(31:26):
Can the other person change? Can you forgive? Can you
take responsibility all of those things, and a lot of
people can't do any of them.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
It's a great point. And do you lean in and
be like all right, let's let's work this thing through,
or like you.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Said, we work hard. Listen, we do marriage therapy even
when we don't quote unquote need it.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
You want to lock the door so you don't get robbed.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
So yeah, and it's like it's like you too, it's
to you send your car and to get tuned up.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
So true, it's such a that's a great that's such
a that's that's that's really a great note. And so
you've had some serious roadblocks, like you've been canceled in
a time when people didn't even get canceled. And I've
thought about not even since meeting you, I've thought about
that in my life.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
I don't know why that.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
I don't believe that would even be on the board
for cancelation as long like things hit differently back then,
and so it was looked bad to me overall. On
a one to ten of like your career being stratospheric,
I envisioned it that your career was stratospheric. You hit
a brick wall and then you were not present for
(32:36):
a while, and then all of a sudden you started
to slowly come back in different types of things.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
That's how I perceive it. So how accurate is that.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
I would say that that's pretty accurate. I would say
that there are two things that I think that that
add to it a little more context. One is I
actually think that in many ways, my ill fated appearance
(33:07):
on the Academy Awards did as much damage. I was
asked to open the Academy Awards and to do a
song with snow White, and it felt like a really
good idea at the time, and it was a terrible idea.
It was a badly conceived It was supposed to be silly,
(33:30):
and people hated it. And then I think it Then
post all of that, I got sober, went away to rehab,
got serious with my wife, got married, moved out of
LA started having kids. So I was, I mean, I'm
(33:55):
sure it was a sort of a mutual decision in
terms of Hollywood and me, Like I was. I look,
I spent the eighties dealing work, building my career, and
I spent the nineties building myself.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Wow. So you so it was the bestest thing that
ever happened to you.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
In ways not in ways, it was the best thing
that ever happened to me, full stop.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Do you feel like you were so like it was
it was almost like a self fulfilling prophecy to have failed.
You feel like you were reckless and like kind of
looking for something you were looking for a.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
While to hit one hundred percent. No, I absolutely remember
feeling like, like, you know, it's it's it's it's the
the criminal that that once wants to be arrested. Stop.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Wow. So so you were you You weren't like, oh fuck,
my career is over because you take that kind of
make that kind of change. Did you have a backup
plan or did you know you have enough control over
who you are and that you're robblow and that you
can come back when you decide, Because most people like
you said, if someone knocks on the door, you're going
to sell your house. If you go away, you could
be obsolete in the entertainment industry.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
I never thought about it in that way. And then
I because all I was thinking about at the time
when I was getting sober was it's time for me.
I'm getting I'm doing this for me. I'm not doing
it for my career. I'm not doing it for public consumption.
I'm not doing it to stay together with my then
(35:29):
girlfriend Cheryl, who became my wife. I was doing it
for me and it was probably the first thing that
I ever really did just for me ever, and it
was all I could think about. It required everything and
anything else that bubbled up around it, like what about
my career? What about it? I was like, don't care.
Right well, let the chips fall where they may. Who
(35:51):
knows I'm.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Doing It's funny.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Matthew McConaughey made a similar I don't know if you
read his book Green Lights, but he made a similar
decision about like I'm not taking these like shirtless rom coms,
and he stood tight. He just knew there was a
moment when he had to do something, and that was
my moment, was leaving the housewives. As ridiculous as that sounds,
it was millions of dollars, and it was you know,
my business manager said, or my someone said, trees grow high,
(36:14):
they don't grow high to the s guy, take the
millions of dollars right now until you can't get it anymore.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
And I made.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
A decision to intervene, and just like this is like
I've got to reinvent and do everything differently now. And
it's a nice feeling. And people have to be in
tune and aware and courageous enough to do that.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
But we'll also to hear the voice inside of them
and honor that. Yes, you have to be courageous on
top of that to do it.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
What age was that at that you that you did
that twenty six?
Speaker 1 (36:43):
That was young to be making those kind of big
boy decisions to be like getting going and going to
rehabit and getting married.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
That was you.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
You peaked early.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
Well, you know, I I had a lot of life.
I had more life experience than the average twenty six
yearl that's for sure. I'd been more, done more, seen more,
learned more. And but yes, looking back on it, it's
younger than any of my kids are now. Yeah, totally
(37:11):
that I look back on it and go, what the hell?
Speaker 2 (37:13):
So?
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Lauren Michael's once said to me at dinner. He was
talking about somebody else on SNL or something. It wasn't
about me, but I just never forget it. He said,
you have to make an exit to be able to
make an entrance.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
It's such a great It's one of my favorite laurenisms.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
The last two questions I have. People have given me
one piece of advice, like I don't fix them, I
fix me, or every day we check in once a day.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
These things that I sometimes say.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Oh god, well I don't do that, Like what is
your thing that you guys do that seems simple to
you but would help other people in relationships?
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Well, there's two things. The number one thing is, let's
hope you've chosen right to begin with, because really the
die is cast with who you choose, because, as you
allude to in the advice, you can't change another person.
(38:11):
Changing yourself is hard. It's like Cheryl and I are
simpotico on so many things, money, politics, where we want
to go on vacations. Uniforms are not uniforms in schools.
I mean you name it, not name the list of
(38:36):
from the from the banal to the really intense. And
I am going to be on the exact same page
with her all the time. Now we happen to disagree
on something very important to me. Comedy. Cheryl Lowe does
not understand comedy.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
She doesn't and what do you mean she doesn't understand common?
But like, does she not think you were funny because
I know couples were one person's funny and the other
person doesn't think they're funny.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Does she think you're funny?
Speaker 3 (39:06):
She's smart enough to know that other people think I'm funny. See, yes,
no she doesn't. She's a horrible laugh for me. She's
a black hole. Oh in my one man shows, and
it's a it's a running joke amongst our friends and family.
So like, by the way, for some people, that would
be a barrier to entry.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
One hundred percent. I'm a comedy snob. And would you
think she's she funny?
Speaker 3 (39:32):
No? See? Wow, here's another thing. And I've had I had,
I had one girlfriend in particular. All we did was laugh.
It was fucking amazing. But you know what, it's it's fine,
It's it's she would have, by the way, a terrible
wife and a terrible life partner. Right. You know, she
(39:56):
just doesn't like Bruce Springsteen and her music. I feel
like I can feel the pot smoke in the air
when I listen to the music.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
That's my fiance, Paul. It's say, it's like fish and
Grateful Dead. Yeah, and it's funny. But the music, the
music and the comedy, those aren't what I call in
a book that I wrote called I Suck at relationships.
So you don't have to fundamental differences. I believe you
can't have fundamental differences by and large, like the things
(40:25):
that you know, just like you said the way you
parent money, things like that, like values, core values. And
then the last question is what was your rose and
your thorn of your career?
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Ooh, I think the rose continues to be the rose,
which is I. For whatever reason, I have been able
to plant my flag in the comedy world and the
drama world. And I also have not been pigeonholed in
(41:02):
that I can do funny commercials for Direct TV, and
I can do a serious drama in the West End
in London, and I can produce and do a game show.
I can. I kind of get to do whatever. I
can write best selling books, I can. I can kind
(41:22):
of do whatever I think is interesting and that I'm
going to learn from without it bumping people, when people
saying what the hell and people accepting it. So to me,
that's the that's if there's a rose, that's the rose
and the thorn. Probably. I mean, I'm such an optimist
(41:43):
it's hard for me to even think of what the
thorn is, I don't know. I think the thorn is
more systemic, and I think the thorn is just that
the business is so much harder than it's ever been.
It's it's harder on every level.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
And you work hard because it's just who you are.
You're not necessarily working towards something like, you're just always
setting new goals and you just like to work.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
It's the journey.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
It's the It's for sure the journey. I mean, I
think the minute you thinking go, ah, well I've done it,
or well I've really don't. I never allow myself to
I feel exactly the same as I did at the
beginning of my career. Other than I also will allow
myself to look back and see how far I've come.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
We're the same age. I think you got a second
wind because I got a second win. Like sometimes you
think maybe it's a little exhausting and I want to
rest a little, and I maybe near done. And I
don't know if that's like self defense or something, you
know it any self protection, But I've caught a big
wind and it feels good. I think it's this age,
you know, it's like not a midlife crisis. It's just
like a reinvigoration and really fine tuning, like sharpening the
(42:58):
knife so you don't have to waste time swimming with
your arms and legs, wasting all this energy.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
You're like right hooked in.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Yeah. The other thing is I don't. I definitely experience
and and and and life has gotten me to a
place where I also really know where I'm valuable and
what my value is. I'm not. I'm not suffering fools
anymore anymore. I really did, and and I know, even
(43:27):
though I'm super diverse and what I'm interested in, I
also know my lane if that makes any sense. Yeah,
I counterintuitive, but but but I really know, like where
what moves the needle for me.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Well that's kind of what I mean.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
You don't need to fuck around and waste time, like
you know what you're supposed to do. You'll take chances
if you're inspired. But like it's a quality versus quantity model. Yeah,
I love it. I love meeting you, talking to you
and knowing you and versa. Really, so we're friends now.
And when I'm in Santa Barbara, I'm coming over.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Yeah, I'll show you, I'll show you the real estate.
I mean we need. Yes, you need, as they say,
a footprint over here.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
I think, yes, I do.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
I love it. My daughter loves it. So so amazing
talking to you. Thank you for having me on your show,
and thank you for coming online. And give my love
to your family.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
I will. And this is great. It was. It was
so fun to be a guest.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
It's different for you.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
Oh my god, it's this is this is the best.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
I mean, you're a good guest. You're a very good guest.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
Oh good. Yeah, I even't lost it by being a
host for so long. Now home.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
No, you're a very good host and you're a very
good guest. So that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Yeah, really good. That's why I wanted to talk forever.
You're just very good guests. So thank you for talking
to me.
Speaker 3 (44:42):
Thank you. It was great being here.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
I was on Rob Lowe's podcast, and I really liked him.
He's a good talker, he's a good listener. He's evolved,
he is emotionally intelligent, he is a hard worker, he's
very inspirational, and I really really enjoyed doing his podcast,
(45:04):
and I'm honored and humbled that he wanted to do mine.
You know, as a result of that conversation, because I
do think that sometimes people think I'm just some nit
wit reality star, and there are just some times that
people come on and I feel like I'm not worthy,
and it was exciting to have him on, and I
thought he was extraordinary, as good a guest as he
(45:27):
is a host
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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