Listen Again: Whitney Cummings

Behind the laughs are more laughs...and some deeply personal stories. Whitney reveals to Bethenny details on her pregnancy, her childhood, a failed engagement story and an amazing rescue that she performed!  It’s a wild ride.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Wynnie Cummings is a stand up comedian, actress, writer, director, producer,
and fellow podcaster. She is amazing. She is pregnant. She
is entertaining. She is talented. She is smart. She is outspoken.
She is unfiltered. She has had an incredible career. She
has starred in shows like Two Broke Girls, released seven

(00:31):
comedy specials, published a book, and is the host of
the podcast Good for You Now. She's ready for the
next chapter in her life as a mom. This is
just be with Whitney Cummings. Let's get into it.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
I am so sorry, I am late.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
I don't care at all.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
You're like the person who's approval I weirdly care about
the most. On some level, I was thinking about you, though.
So I put this Zoom podcast in my calendar while
I was in Austin, Texas. So I thought I had
two more hours and time zone.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Shit's been happening a lot lately. Wait, so the clip
is not in the back of our head It's at
the front, which is the headline. Like, I've never seen
someone with the clips so forward.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Oh my hair clip? Okay, So I need to okay
one thing at a time. I was just making a bagel,
thinking about you. I think about you every time I
make a bagel.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Oh my god, I'm famous for bagels.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yes, you are infamous, more than famous, famous and infamous.
So I do my clip like this, I can't. I
do a very high pony okay, high on the side.
It's like a mini facelift. Okay. And then I twist, twist, twist,
put it in the front, roll it like a hot dog,
move it back and then and then clip it like that.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
Okay. I like it. And because also that means you
have to have nice clip. That means it gives use
to the nice clips that you buy. And and and
you're pregnant, and I'm pregnant.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
I just started I got I started buying these hair clips.
I used to do the J Crew ones. Those were
so expensive and I would lose them. I found these.
I don't know where, but I saw this hack on
TikTok where you can use a hairclip to be a
tripod for your phone. Same, So that's why I bought these.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
It's so smart. And you have that little wallet on
your phone that I got too. Did they send that
to you? I think they might have sent that to me.
It's like a wallet and you can put a purse
and make a phone purse.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
Okay, so the purse phone wallet thing, I'm very picky about.
I'm sure someone has maybe sent one, but I'm very
specific about the kind I like. I do. The bandelier,
it only has a thing for credit cards. That's it.
You're right.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
I bought that one. I bought it. I didn't get sented.
It was case logic, that's sent. I bought that and
I bought a strap to go with it, and I started.
I did like three walks and then stop, and I
felt like, you're that mom. Now you're that bitch. Now
that has a purse phone.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
It's a new pocket protector. Everyone thinks you're a loser.
But I always know where my phone is because what
I used to do is I would always have my
phone playing music or a podcast, so I could always
find it. I always always have it. I could be
giving myself air cancer, but I always wear it on
my person.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yes, okay, I got to get back to that, except
they had vandalier. You have to find a way to
put the charger, like you could have the charger somehow,
because you have to make a choice, like you're either
charging or you're pursing.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
Yeah, but there's uh, there's a charger port on the bottom.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
No, like the extra charger that you could jolt in
the middle of the day, or like that little apple
thing that you can attach they could really get.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
You mean you need a charge charger, a charge charger. Okay, well,
then I might take you downstairs and show you this
new contraption I started using.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Okay, well, I can see we haven't even gotten into
the interview, but this is great.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
Wait.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
I have a water purse too, because if you're going
through the airport, it's a per it's a water bottle
that has a purse strap. So you've got two things
going on. Okay, she goes, she's walk and she's walking,
and she's walking, and.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
We're walking through my house. Because I am at this
point a Karen. I am so sick of these Silicon
Valley dorks. Hold on, I'm sick of.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
She's trying to one up me.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Okay, sorry, sorry.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
The water purse triggered her.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
Now that I've seen your TikTok and how sort of
intimate it is, I'm fearless. Now there's nothing I won't
put on the internet. After what I've seen you do
to a bagel.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
This entire interview is going to be based off of
your twenty five things you don't know about me, And
I want to give us Weekly a shout out because
I've learned so much about so many people from that list.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
That's the other one. I like that one too, But
I don't like it when people don't tell their secrets.
Tell me why you lost weight, if it's ozempic or
whatever it is, I don't care. Just share it. If
you have some life hack, tell everybody about it, Like,
help make other people's lives easier. What is else? Is
the point of being a celebrity if you can't? Okay,
so this is a wow.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
It's they're like body chaps she's putting on.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Is it's like a vest you can wear. I just
I'm not wearing underwear that has all these little pouches
and then you zip it and it's actually a cute
little vest and you can put it over anything. And
so I'll put the charge charger in one, I'll put
the phone in the other, and then I'll just walk
around while they're charging.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
Okay, hold on, let's just discuss something.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
Is that our non pregnant people allowed to wear that.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Yes, this I got before pregnancy. It's like a do
you know the exercise thing people are doing now called
the rucksack where you put like a backpack on of
thirty pounds and you go for a walk. It's supposed
to be it's supposed to be amazing for you. Because
they're now finding that, we're so all over the place.
I love less.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
Oh so this is what my literally the girls said,
this is what my interview with David Spade was like.
It went nowhere and it never started and it never finished.
It was like a free association of thought. So I'm happy.
It doesn't matter what we're talking about. We're gonna get
there wherever there is.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
We're like two puppies that finally get to play. I
feel like, but I feel like your fans just want
to know, like I don't know, like just want us
to be authentic and whatever. I'm or manic and so
I just throw this over something. I just throw it
over something. I'm sick of carrying a purse. I'm sick
of losing it. I'm sick of it turning into a
flaccid ballsack when I put it down the bottom of
purses are disgusting. They're too expensive. I always spill water

(06:20):
bottles in them.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
Because you have to have pouch. You have to have
a pouch lifestyle.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
I can't.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Every person has to have a pouch in it. So
when you go in, you either take the one pouch
and transfer it or it's also shaping your bags and
you're putting your lip glass and stuff, and so it's
never going to hit the bottom of your nice bag.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
Yeah, And then you reach in and you're just like,
am I about to get im paled by something? Am
I about to get tetanus? But you don't have to.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
You can pull the pouch out and you don't have
to deal with the purse. The purse is basically a
facade for the interior.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, but then I have to have a pouch for
my pens because one of the pens is going to explode.
I don't know. There's a lot of things I need
to carry with me. And I also feel like I'm
so psycho now about trying to stay hydrated, and there's
no water bottle that's not eventually going to unscrew in
your purse turn upside down. I also, have you done
this yet?

Speaker 1 (07:07):
Where that's why you need a water purse?

Speaker 2 (07:09):
Is that? Is that a thing?

Speaker 1 (07:11):
I bought them? And yeah, they it's a purse. It's
a half the size of this bottle, and it's got
a chain. It basically looks like your bandlair bag and
you can carry it around.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
Oh like a okay, got it? Like the I don't know,
we're not saving Private Ryan, Like we're not.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
What are you talking about military with pockets. I've let
you're on the set of Masks. I've never tried to
be delighted because you're a guest in my home. That's ridiculous.
I do not believe you just came. We're not in
saving price. You are in saving Private Ryan. That thing
put them on your social media. It's not okay, let's

(07:51):
start here. Whose baby are you carrying that?

Speaker 2 (07:54):
I'm not gonna tell you, but.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
January Jones, thank you. Do you remember like she was
she was pregnant and no one knew whose baby it was.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
Oh that's right. No, But he's he's wonderful, and I
just he's not a public person. Yeah, I have three weeks.
I have three more weeks and then I'm having my
I'm having my first child.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Congratulations, it's the best thing.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
I'm terrified of childbirth, but other than that, I'm looking
forward to it. Oh my, did you have when you
had your daughter? Did you have like a boy name
and a girl name, because I'm in the market for
a boy name.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yes, but they were both generic and could kind of
be either. I think in the beginning, well yes, kind of. Well,
Brent is not couldn't be really necessarily be a boy,
but Casey was one either. And I think we changed
her middle name. I think we first had her as
a different middle name and then change it and had
to legally change it. I changed my mind and literally
she already had a legal name change, and I asked you,

(08:57):
what is that?

Speaker 2 (08:58):
What does that look like? A couple women? I know,
and it's always women. I really like they go. After
like two weeks, I realized he wasn't a Solomon, he
was a market Oh oh.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
That's hilarious. I know she was always she was going
to be a Brin. But I think the middle name
was Alex. And the reason I wanted to change it
was in case I ever had a boy, and then
I wanted to save it. It's it's all blurry.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
Now. Look my last name is Cummings. It's a tough pairing,
it's a tough handle. I wanted to name him Maximus.
I realized that was not a That's not fair to him.
He's going to get bullied regardless. But so I feel
like there's I had a list of fifty girl names
that I liked, and there's like three guy names at
this point. It's like Miles Julius Henry, like like, I

(09:39):
can't that's all I got, But I feel like that's whatever.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Well, Miles Cummings is a great name, but also it's
it's speaking to Cummings like Miles, like Miles Miles of
com Yes, it's good, healthy, it's.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
A lot of com How much come you need to
get a woman pregnant naturally at forty that's for sure.
So yeah, didn't even put that together. So now I
only have two names.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
I'm glad. I could be obsessed.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
So by the way, I feel like, anytime I see
a video of a gender reveal party and it's a girl,
you always see the oddest reaction of the people. You
always see the dad be a little bummed when all
that pink smoke comes out, you know what I mean.
He's kind of like, I just paid for a helicopter
to drop pink smoke on my pool and it's a
freaking girl, you know. Or if it's a boy, you'll

(10:30):
see the guy be like, like, you'll see his real reaction.
I always find the awkward. And you know, three people
have died in gender reveal parties so far. And three
people have died, and there's been a like over eight
hundred acres of forest fires from gender reveal parties. There's
a really horrifying video of a guy and a plane
dropping the smoke on the party and the plane just crashes.

(10:54):
It's like, it's psychotic. I don't these gener reveal parties
are part they gotta stop.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
Well, I guess it's you know, for every birth there's
a death, so I guess it's sort of symbolic there
you go.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
But it's also wild because you know, you see people
You're like, I guess this is for content. I guess
this is so they can put it on their social media,
you know. So I think we're lucky. We just get
to open the fridge and start cooking it too in
the morning and hit five million views. Not everyone gets
to do that, Bethany.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
It's true it's true. That reminds me of engagements that
are always documented by a group of friends.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
Okay, so that's a nightmare because when I got engaged,
it didn't end up working out. But when I got engaged,
he had the photographer hiding in a bush into Penga
Canyon right like, and Jason Momoa lived across the street
with Lisa Bonet back when they were together. And so

(11:53):
the engagement happens. He gets down on one knee, there's
like a horse, the whole thing. And then I was like,
oh my god, I wish we had photos of that.
He's like, we do. I have a photographer and a bush.
I'm like what And we look over the We go
over the bush, like he's not here. This is so weird.
We called the photographer. We finally talked to him. He
goes Jason Momoa was working out and thought I was

(12:15):
paparazzi trying to take pictures of him, and I thought
he was going to kick my ass. So I left.
I wasn't able to get any of the photos, and
so can you guys redo it? And I was like what?
So we had to like fake a new spontaneous proposal,
and that's what I kind of knew it wasn't gonna
work out.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
That's very Housewives, it is, that's very house Did you
get a store credit?

Speaker 2 (12:43):
A store credit for what?

Speaker 1 (12:44):
Did you have to pay? The guy?

Speaker 2 (12:46):
And then oh no, we did and we paid and
it was like he was scared of Jason Momoa.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
I've never said this in a couple of years. You're
the first person I would want to do a podcast
with because we have a lot. I mean, we could
talk about nothing all day.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
That's what Steinfeld was a show about nothing. Maybe we
start the podcast about nothing.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Let's just call this is nothing and this is this
podcast has no point.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
But we've also kind of covered everything. Yeah, I think
we can out do ourselves. I think we'll do it
over and over again. I do. I do now, Like
you know, it's interesting, like the eating disorder stuff. I
look back now and I can really sort of laugh
about it. I mean, the phases that I went through,
and just because that eating disorder is about control. Grew
up in an alcohlic home. Something I never put together

(13:43):
is that my mom definitely had an eating disorder. She
was definitely interarexic. Like when you're young, you don't really
that doesn't really cross your mind. No. You know, our
fridge had like two arted chokes. There was cheese and crackers,
but that was always for the guests, you know, and
she would eat very little. I always thought it was
because she was an alcoholic and she wanted the wine

(14:05):
to hit harder or the wine had calories, so she
had to kind of pick her calories. But very inorexic.
I you know, remember she would get compliments she was beautiful,
and she would always say like someone would say, you
look great. You go, oh, I have to lose that
last five pounds. Oh, I gotta get rid of this.
But she would always say that. And she was tiny, tiny, tiny,

(14:27):
tiny tiny, and you know it's interesting. She always said,
you know, my thighs are touching. That was her My
thighs are touching, like the thighs shouldn't touch. Like that's
how you know things. She wants her noise that was called.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
That was her noise, like that was her noisy place
like about her thighs or her thighs.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
She was always like when I walk behind her, she
was always touching her butt, touching her. She would kind
of squeeze her sell you know, kind of like looking back,
I guess my psyche just couldn't process it at the time.
It's just you know, too dark. And and then so
for me, I think it was it was more contray.
I did model young, like you know, for money in
high school and college, but I was before that, like

(15:05):
it wasn't I can't blame Vogue or Kate Moss or
any of that. I think, you know, when you grew
up an alcoholic home, you have such a little control. There's
so much chaos going on. And my dad did was
very kind of a lothario. He did like skinny, tiny women.
I think I just learned tiny you have to just
be tiny, and I'm not a tiny person in the slightest.

(15:26):
So by I went twelve or thirteen earlier than that,
I was binging, though I would say it started with overeating,
eating it two entire boxes of cereal, a whole thing
of Weaver Chicken McNuggets, Like I was overweight and would
binge first because you know, there weren't people around. I
think that's how I got love. I think that's how
I isolated. Like I would eat so much that it

(15:46):
would kind of incapacitate me, so I would have an
excuse for why I didn't have more friends. I'd be like, oh, well,
even if they did ask me to hang out, I could.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
We have a lot of similarities. So what age of
these memories mostly shining through thirteen fourteen? I'm feeling it
sounds like that, right.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
The binging on cereal, like the cocoa pebbles rudy. I mean,
I remember like I would have like cuts in my
mouth because I couldn't wait for the milk to soften.
The apple jacks, you know that was earlier, That was
probably seven eighty nine. Yeah, yeah, I remember like eating
Captain crunch, that peanut butter Captain crunch, just like like inhaling.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
It anxiety eating.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yeah, I think it was panicating anxiety eating. Also, we
didn't sit around the table. My parents had gone through
a divorce, Like there was no structure, Like I bless
my mom's hard for working we had. Our moms were
the first generation that were working. You know what same,
I didn't have time to you know, cook for me whatever.
But I do think I was very addicted to sugar.
I was addicted to the shame of it. I was

(16:48):
addicted to isolating with it. And then but that's.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
Not an age that you even know about eating disorders
or that somebody's overweight or not. You're just living your
own life, you don't. You can't attach emotion to the food.
You're just that's what you're I've seen this in other kids.
That's why I'm saying that.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
And it's interesting because I would go back and forth
for my not that getting a divorce is always unhealthy,
you know, but going for my mom's house to my
dad's house. My mom's refrigerator was artichokes and you know,
bubbly water and diet coke, and then my dad's was
just cereal and trash, you know. So by the time
I went to his house, I was just like so hungry,
you know.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
I kind of really binging and purging.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
That's exactly it. So then I go to my mom's
house and I would starve and she'd be like, how
did you know? And so then by the time I
was a teenager, full blown rice cakes apples would go
for three hour runs like that.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
What's a teenager? What age you're saying fourteen or sixteen?

Speaker 2 (17:38):
By fourteen, but I would say by fourteen, I was
I guess that would just be anorexic I guess you
would just say anorexic, like severely restricting. But I would
eat a lot of low calorie foods, like a huge amount.
It was like apples, rice cakes, fat free yogurt. I'd
eat like the whole thing of rice cakes, a whole
like five or six out, and then I would go

(17:59):
for you know, like a two or three hour run my.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
House growing up, I think I was my daughter's age,
like thirteen, and I remember my mother had a cart
of laxatives. I remember it like it was yesterday, like
a plastic white with the drawers, and it was I
didn't understand what it was. It was like I thought
she just couldn't go. And then we'd be in the
car and she drink a lot of coffee and they'd
have to stop and like so this was and there

(18:23):
was like the bacon cheeseburgers dripping and raw and drenched
salads because she was binging and purging and it was
and there was a very like an anxiety in the house,
like because she'd have to like take a long time
in the bathroom after meals. And so this was all
this like secrecy and hidden stuff going on in my household.
So that was like noisy and her method because you

(18:46):
didn't talk about how your mom treated you about your body.
Because my mother would say that, like tempora at the
Japanese restaurant isn't fattening because of the way that they
fry the oil the Japanese, so like she would kind
of what I would be eating a lot, and then
I was struggling with my weight, and I would read
all those magazines that had like half a cantalope. You know,

(19:08):
there was one called the Flight Attendants Diet every week
and those magazines would be a new page. You'd want
to rip it out, try it for two days, but
it was sort of secret, and you were going to
school and listening to what other people are saying. So
for people of teens, it happens quickly. Like my daughter's thirteen,
and I've never mentioned a thing in all these years
about weight or you know, I don't like anyone around

(19:30):
talking about, oh I have to lose weight, or I
don't look good in these ps like there's zero. But
you can't control what goes on at school. So that's
why I'm relating to you on a different side of
the coin, but like the same time of your life,
of a girl's life.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
I remember because there would be I it's just funny,
and I don't mean to laugh because at the time,
you know, these people were struggling. But like a diet
was like cottage cheese and truscits, you know, like that
was like supposedly low fat, and you like think about
it now and you're like, well, that's like a cheap day,
you know, like got in there or whatever. But I

(20:02):
remember that's what I would bring to school because that
when my mom made me lunch, that's like all she
I saw. I was like the weirdo at school who
had like triscuts and cottage cheese. Like I had the
lunch bag that was just like wet and just like
like it was a My mom worked a Bloomingdale, so
it was a little brown bag like I always had,
like a blooming sales bag. You know. It was just
so weird. And another thing that you made me think of.

(20:23):
I remember one time finding dex a trim. Do you
remember that. I don't. It was, of course, quote weight
loss pill. It was I think probably just a lot
of caffeine. And I remember I used to sneak that
and try to take that. But I would find like
weird sketchy diet pills.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
That probably that's one thing that's better about now. It's different.
People are obsessed with intimontent fasting and juicing and cleansing.
And it was epic back then, you're right, Like there
was was a diet that said like one hot dog,
one half a cup of coffee, and then you could
have one scoop of an l ice cream. Like it
was all random and it was very Scarsdale diet, Akins diet.
Like every week there a new thing that you'd grip onto.

(21:01):
The slim fast bars came out.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
There was one that was like steak and wine exactly,
the kind of thing which I think I'm kind of
into that one. Remember. But like also we were all
a little off, you know, like remember the food pyramid
when we were like si, it was like the whole
bottom was like loaves of bread, like French bread, potatoes,
like a big pile of beans. Like it was just

(21:25):
like the psycho.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
And measuring measuring. They wanted to get to measure your food.
It was so noisy to begin with, you're starting off,
you know the food pyramid was totally insustainable.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
Yeah, well it was just I mean, you know, and
I think everyone's bodies are different, you know whatever. But
but so then by the time I get to high school,
I'm full blown. It's just about being as skinny as possible.
It's just about being as skinny as possible. And something
I will say that is, you know, you know when
people struggle with uh, severe in orexia or severe over

(21:59):
eating stuff, being really really heavy. I've learned a lot
about how there's some childhood sexual abuse sometimes involved in that,
so you know, it's about sort of making yourself either
unappealing or not feminine or not sexually attractive, or protecting
yourself by being heavy and stuff. So I feel like
I always need to kind of say that the same

(22:20):
I was reading something about people to get a lot
of plastic surgery sometimes and get super dysomorphic that they're
trying to change the face of the change the person
that was molested or something. So's, yeah, there's a lot
of like other stuff in here. And we absolutely had
some you know, inappropriate stuff going on in you know
for me as a child too, So I don't know

(22:41):
what was what.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
You're talking about. Sexual stuff, yeah, sexual same like me too.
You remember things and your mind plays tricks on you,
but you like the father's friend might and you think,
like you remember the moment too clearly about a couple
of people, but like you just dealt with it, and
you almost feel like fraudulent if you came out and
talked about it specifically, because if feels hazy, but you
know it's true, that kind of thing.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yes, And I know a couple situations that were absolutely true.
I think I was confused for a while because one
of them was a woman. Oh and you know, well
back in the day, we didn't babysitters, didn't get them
off apps where they were vetted. It was just like like,
does anyone on the street have a thirteen year old son?

(23:25):
Like that was your babysitter back then.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
Totally, totally, totally, totally I was physically abused by a
babysitter too, That's totally true. Anyone could smack anyone could
could smack you. Anyone could be you know, what's it
called spank you.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
Oh. I would go to friend's houses. I would get
I mean literally against a wall with a ruler by
someone else's.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
Dad exactly, which doesn't happen at your own house exactly.

Speaker 2 (23:49):
You can't you can't even find that on porn Hub,
but they even take that down, you know, So it
was you know, so there is some of that. I
have no reason to have needed to be that skinny,
you know, so there was obviously something else going on.
I'm sure, you know. It made people kind of I've
talked to people, and that I went to high school with.
It made people kind of like scared to talk to me.

(24:11):
And maybe I liked that in a way because I
was really awkward socially and I was very a loner
kind of and maybe I like I never went to
lunch and sat with the popular girls. I went eight
raisins in my car, you know, shit like that, insular, isolated,
and then by the time I got to college, it

(24:31):
just was weird. Like it was like I would take
these Swiss miss powdered hot chocolate. I would buy like
five or six boxes at the grocery store, pour them
in a bowl, put water, and then the ones that
only had twenty calories and mix them up, put it
in the microwave and turn like turn them into like
a cake. Wow.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
You know what it sounds though, like you were obsessive
because I relate to that too, So you needed like
a new project, like, oh, this is the diet. I'm
only eating one rice cake, two apples, like a weird formula.
It becomes your own. I don't know if you're like
that now. I still am. But in organizing and like
getting rid of things and nothing extra, it's obsessive and
it's a problem.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
You're safe food. So it's like if someone was like, hey,
do you want you know, acado and this avocado toast
that probably has less calories and less fat. It's just
it's not I know how this ends. I know how
this works. I have you know. By the time I,
you know, got to La, it was it was turkey
jerky and maple syrup, just weird.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
And then I went through loud those were allowed, like popcorn,
you were allowed, but others are forbidden foods.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
Yes, then it was it was carrots and ketchup carrots
and barbecue sauce. Like it just was condiments, you know,
like weird condiments shit like that, but stuff that ultimately
I think made me need to hide because it was embarrassing. Yes,
it was never something socially accepted and something that made
me feel some shame afterwards, you know. So it was

(25:56):
just bizarre. I definitely went through those seaweed things. I'll
see you eatn those seaweed things, but the withsabi seaweed sheets.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
Yes, but that's new, like how how has your how
has this manifested? As a woman in Hollywood? And then
as a pregnant woman.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
I got to the point, there's a couple of things.
I went to a program called ACA Adult Children of
Alcoholics that is about growing up an alcoholic home and
all the sort of maladaptive behaviors that you get very
honestly in order to survive as a child. They serve
you very well, you know, the people pleasing, the mothering, Martyring, micromanaging,
self depriving, control, addiction, perfectionism, addiction, the overachieving thing. And

(26:32):
then went to that program was a total miracle, really
helped me. You know, you do these like inner child
exercises of like you treat yourself. You treat yourself the
way you would treat a five year old child. That
kind of sounds dorky. You write her letters, you know,
you write the question about what do you want to
eat today? And your right hand you respond as her
in your non dominant hand, and she'll say, like peanut butter,

(26:53):
and jelly, and you go, well, that's all reading for lunch.
And I also got sick of wasting so much time.
I did read this book called The Tools I Phil
Stutts and Barry Michaels. Phil Stutts is like the biggest
like therapist you know out here, And there's this exercise
called the deathbed exercise. It just resonated with me. It'd
be like, you imagine yourself on your deathbed and you

(27:16):
picture all the things you're going to be, like annoyed
you wasted time on. And I remember being I remember
being with Busy Phillips. I'm sure you know Busy. We
were like working on something and she was like, if
I'm on my deathbed, going like I can't believe how
much time I wasted thinking about calories and food, and
I went, that is going to be me, like just

(27:36):
the how many was that? And what am I gonna
eat next? And what did I eat today? Now I
have to go on a walk, and like I didn't
have a personal it's a full time job, and I'd
be like, I feel like I'd be the most successful
person in Hollywood if I just took the energy I
spend on like driving around the city, getting that one
protein bar that's the safe protein bar this month.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Oh wow, and just to meet with organizing, to be
honest with you, like that's going to be with organizing.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
Have you ever hired someone to come in and do
it for you or you won't?

Speaker 1 (28:00):
I could do it for them.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
I there is. Though, do you ever play like like
Tetris or any of those games? I started going back
to playing old games. It's like the symmetry of the
Tea and Tetris, Like don't you know that video game?
Remember those things are falling. It's very soothing to organize
and put things in their place and know where they are.
But that's back man.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
I was always obsessed with misspac Man and it's very satisfying,
and it's very much like that. And the thing is, I,
because of the crazy amount that I have going on
in my life, the being organized is also critical. So
it's like you have to be in a relationship with it,
that's right. So I have to be in a relationship
with being organized because I couldn't do all that I

(28:45):
do without it. So it's not like it's not like
pulling me down. It's actually great, but it's something I
can't and I can't even when I talk to my
therapist about it, it cannot It can be improved, but
it cannot be intervened. It can't be. It's never gonna
I will go on to my deathbeds still being organized.
Like I'll have my coffin, We'll have labels inside of it.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
Can I Is that bad?

Speaker 1 (29:05):
I mean, you don't know, right, It's like work.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
Yeah, people people who get mixed up their coffins get
mixed up all the time. That's a real thing. You're
looking at my podcast studio, which is like the Pee
Wee's playhouse, like chaos. And I'm the same with organizing, Like,
I don't know. I don't think we should have to
overpathologize everything about ourselves, like because number one, it's also
just like a hobby. People like, oh my god, you're
going to recopy the labels again.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
I'm like, there's Look, it's fiddling. I call it fiddling.
And it's true. People guard and they want to fuck
around their guarden. It's fiddling. And I like it too.
So that's a great point.

Speaker 2 (29:36):
I found a new system. There's a new system. It's like,
you know, it's like the fact that we're still on
metric or whatever and everywhere, like we should update new
systems if they're not like because I went through it organizing.
I went through the wicker baskets with the and then
I'm like, I can't see my shit. So then I
ran through the plexiglass bag. I'm like, this is better.
But I'm like, wait, now there's a version with drawers
like I. Now I'm getting those like I.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
It's fun, it's like gambling. It's entertainment too.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
Yeah, and it's also like home decore too, you know.
It's also there is a I think it's really important,
especially because I think people like us we always want
to grow and we want to change. And I'll look
at things that I'm like, that's okay. The I do
have a wrapping paper closet.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
Oh my god, I do too. I have I have
a room. I have like a candy speck amazing.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
But like I was pathologically thoughtful. That's an ACA thing
for a while. And I gave too many gifts for
a long time because I didn't think I was enough.
And I had the whole like shelf of dipty candles
just in case someone came over.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
When I tell you I have a gift, life. I
have to I started on Halloween. You have to say,
this is crazy, Like I have a gift obsession.

Speaker 2 (30:43):
Me too, and I think I love it.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
Though I love it, it makes me. I live for it.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
It's how we show love. And to me, I feel
like because everyone always thinks I'm being sarcastic, it's hard
for me to be genuine with people when I'm like,
I love you, You're such a good friend, or I
have to make a joke or people assume it. So
I really like giving gifts because it's like there, it's
and also like you know, it's a nightmare out there,
and like a sixty eighty dollars candle. No one should

(31:12):
ever buy that for themselves, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (31:14):
And it's systematic too though, but it also is satisfying,
like it costs money, you spent, you send it out,
you wrap it, you send it emphedes, it looks good.
They get it. I I live for it. I do
it all year round.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
It it makes me feel My goal in life was
always to be Santa Claus. I saw Santa Claus at
the mall and when I want to be that guy,
so but then I go, okay, it can't be an
entire thing. I don't. I'm not as successful as you.
So I'm like, okay, I need to take this down
a little bit because this is a little bit of
a vestige. When I had way too low self esteem

(31:47):
and I thought I had to send a thank you
card after I got a thank you card, so let
me take So I think that updating our organization is
also a way of showing our growth, you know. And
so like I had this whole thing of the press
on nails section, I'm like, I don't really do that anymore.
I used to be super obsessive about my nails and
then I can't get anything done and then one breaks
and that's all I'm thinking about. I was like, that

(32:08):
became a weird sick addiction and obsession and perfectionism, you.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
Know, because that's my circular reference. You have to go
get the manicure again and get it filled in, and
then you have to it's.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
Me, So let me. I need to reorganize this because
this is actually a negative contribution to my future self.
So when I upgrade something mentally to get healthier, I'm
gonna have so it's not unhealthy to go. I need
to organize this again. You know, it's not pathological, it's
just that I we're not here, We're not in this
place anymore.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
Well, everything doesn't have to be healthy. You could eat
Cheetos and you don't have to go to jail. I'm saying,
it's like not healthy, but like you're some TV shows
aren't healthy, but you're doing it. It's like it's not
a guilty pleasure, but it's something that you're doing it over.
Being overly healthy is also unhealthy.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
Do you know about Barbara's Cheese Puffs, Barbara's.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
Barbara the health brand.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
Yeah, they have cheese yes that are that are like Cheetos.
They're delicious.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
And I think all that, I think all that Calieflower too.
It's that that hippies respectfully to it's got it's a scam.
It's a scam.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
I think.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
Just eat the real thing.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
H Barber's cheese puffs. What is it made of? Because
I just ordered a bunch of them, I don't know
that If it's cauliflower though.

Speaker 1 (33:15):
No I know, But I'm just saying, like if you
look at a Freedo, there are three ingredients corn oil, salt,
so like that's it.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
This is cornmeal, age, cheddar, pasteurized milk. Yeah, I agree
with you. Like the the cauliflower rice and the collie
all that shit. I'm like, I'm just gonna be hungry
in five minutes.

Speaker 1 (33:34):
And it's also mixing together a bunch of other shit,
which is a different process. So that's what I think
about that.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
That's a good point. That's a good point.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
So the alcohol in your house, because I grew up
also with a mother who was an alcoholic, and there
are different styles. I remember each drink, like the special
drink phases, like what the drink order would be. But
there are different styles. Some people they call it French type,
or they're just always having a drink and then into
the late night drinking. But it's not like a fifth
of vodka in the toilet holder behind you and the

(34:13):
person's like blackout. It's just like always sort of marinated.
That was my house with combined with the cigarettes and
the bolima. What was your style in your house of
your mom like embarrassing or like what was it?

Speaker 2 (34:26):
I love? I love this question, And first I'll say
it helped me to hear in order for alcoholism to
be present, alcohol doesn't have to be present, and that's
not just because alcohol is being hidden or whatever. But
there's other forms of isms, you know, compulsive behaviors and
stuff like that. So if someone's listening and they're like, yeah,

(34:46):
my life was chaotic as a kid, and I sort
of understand all this, but I never saw alcohol like
I was kind of the same way. You know, my
mom was a socialite. She was you know, worked at
apartment stores, and she always had like a glass of
white wine. It was like it was the white wine spritzer.
It was always like a spritzer, like it.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
Died in a while. Being an alcoholic is hard.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
Well. The ordering was always too apologetic, Like I look
back now, and it was like looking at the menu
like I would do this when I had eating disorders
and I was out with people, and I would go like, ah,
should I get? I would pretend I was being rushed,
you know, or couldn't make a decision. I'd be like, oh,
should I get the burger? Should I get the spaghetti?
Or you know what, I'll just have the caesar salad,

(35:27):
no dressing.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
That's a throwaway comment.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
There was like a performance to it to try to
convince people that I would have ordered the spaghetti or
the hamburger, but like I'll just do Caesar salad dressing
on the side.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
I'll just have some of your triggering. Wow.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
That is sar wow.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
No, it's very honest, and most people with eating disorders
don't want to give it up because then they can't
go back to it because everybody knows, like once you
say it, you're saying it.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
Now.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
If you ever have a little of that behavior, it's
so exposed.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
But also like I mean, maybe it's just because I've
gone through it. Like when I see someone doing it,
I'm I now I'm embarrassed because I'm like, I can't
believe I thought I was pulling that off. Like I
can't believe I thought that people were so dumb. I mean,
if there's a lot of people, you can kind of
get away with it, like you know I would because
my mom I always watched her if she got vegetables

(36:26):
like sauteed vegetables, if she couldn't get them steamed, she
would pat it with a napkin to get all the
oil off, which we now know. Like and then as
an adult, I would kind of like accidentally drop well,
when I was twenty four twenty five, I would accidentally
drop my napkin on like a Greasy's vegetables and be like,
oh yeah, like shit like that, like shit like that,

(36:49):
so that I didn't look, you know, like I wouldn't
eat fat, you know. But I'm also I'm in LA.
Everyone does shit like that, but I'm still doing this
rigormarole performance to try and eat in front of people.
I would sit in my car and pretend I was
running late or whatever. I mean, I'd probably already eat
in like twelve protein bars, you know kind of thing.

(37:09):
They're like, I'm sorry, I'm late. It's fine. I'll just
get like a side of something, you know, in and out.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
Wow. And what about now, though, how's your relationship to this?
Pregnant is another layer.

Speaker 2 (37:20):
Pregnant's been like, it's amazingly healing because your body's like
this is where you're eating today, And I'm not just
eating for an inner child that's metaphor, it's an actual
inner child. So again, the twelve step program of ACA
really helped me with my eating stuff. I started eating
to live and living to eat all that inner child work,
you know. I just the dysmorphia really lifted around then,

(37:43):
especially when I started working a lot and going like, oh,
I started loving something more than hating myself, which was
stand up and performing and touring. And I just I realized,
I have all these big goals. I can't possibly accomplish
them if I'm always distracted by food. I'm hungry. I'm
in a catatonic yugur coma. I met go to the
gym three times a day, going for walks four times

(38:04):
a day, counting calor. I just was like, I had
something shifted.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
How old were you? Because something usually shifts. You remember
one weird thing that happened.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
Around twenty six. I went into ACA and that's where
I started really helping, and I got a stand up
special and I was like, I am not going to
screw this up because I'm thinking about food. I am
not going to I am not going to screw this
up because I've drank five diet sun kiss today and
not had any protein. This is it? Like this is it?

(38:34):
You know? And also like I was like, all of
a sudden, you're in hair and makeup and stuff like that,
and I was like going bald. I was like my
hair was falling out.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
Yeah, I had disordered relationship to food. I never threw
threw up. I can't stand throwing up. I never I
used to binge when I would go out and I
would drink a lot, and I'd come home and binge,
and then I'd go on some sort of juice cleanser
fast for the next couple of days. But in my
late thirties, I remember I was going to Italy, and
every time I had ever gone away to a trip

(39:03):
like that, I had always like gotten the anti pasta
or all the vegetables. Those were legal, even if they
were in ten pounds of oil. Like for me, those
were legal, Like you talk about your stuff, and I
would never touch the pasta or the payea, and then
I would binge on it and get swollen and like
it was just like a bad ride. And I vowed
that I was going to Italy and I was going
to have everything. And that was when it became like

(39:26):
small full fat cappuccino, not torturing someone because they don't
have skim milk, or like small gelato, and like that's
how the book Naturally Thin came to be, because it
became like your quote unquote diet, which is the worst word,
is a bank account, like you just if you have
a little of this, don't have that. If you're having wine,
don't have bread. If you're having bread, don't have dessert.
And it became like have a small pasta and it
became so balanced and it changed my life. It just

(39:48):
sort of evolved, and it wasn't noisy, so it wasn't
ever a disorder. Really it would be moments of binging
and moments of discomfort, but it did run my life
like you were saying, it was noisy. But then one day,
just like listed because of being just a normal human being, and.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
You're making me realize, like how I did this movie
where that was in England, the one that I was
on with Busy Phillips. It was called Mate of Honor.
And I didn't have all my control foods. I couldn't
go to Pink Dot on Sunset and get my Lberto
Turkey jerky. I couldn't, you know. And it was this
Aquen movies had these big budgets. It was this big
romantic comedy. Patrick Dumpsy was huge at the time. And

(40:28):
I really wanted to be friends with Busy Phillips and
she wanted to go to Whole Foods and get a thing,
and I wanted to get exactly what she was getting
so that she, you know, would think I was cool
or whatever, and I just to fit in on that
set and to not look crazy. And also because I
wasn't able to get the swissness cocoa bullshit nonsense that
I was getting here. I was eating you know it

(40:51):
with some bread with hummus, and then I was I
was eating I don't want to say normal, but I
was eating. I would go to Whole Foods and we'd
get the kale and eggs and egg salad, and you.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
Were a person, actually normal person.

Speaker 2 (41:03):
I actually started losing weight. I was like, wait a second.
All these things that I because I would drink like
three ice blendid the day, I'd have like, you know,
these smoothies. I'd have like Hershey chocolate shirt. Like I
was eating high sugar and like I wasn't even good
at being antirexit because it was like very hot. I
was eating these protein bars. It was like tiger milk bars,
like those are basically snickers. Now, you know.

Speaker 1 (41:24):
I did the same thing at the Big Chill and West.
I used to go get the large chill also and
a container of brown rice from the Chinese place, and
I'd eat the whole big container and a giant yogurt
like versus just having a small something normal now like
ice cream, It's.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
Okay, exactly, just have like a chicken sandwich and it's
going to actually be less, less calories and less sugar.
So so because remember back in the day, remember like
snack wells, like all all that shit. You know, it
was like low fat, high fat, low sugar is actually
you know, way better. So I stopped eating so much
trash process free. I was anista. Yep, I was interacting,

(42:04):
probably eating four thousand calories a day. I think it existent.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
It was, I really really get it. Wow. Okay, So
more importantly is you put on lotion in the middle
of the night when you go to pee. Have you
you what's the wiping and the lotion? You're putting your
hands on your face. You just sat down to pee.
You haven't yet wiped.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
Oh you know what's weird? I don't. Oh gosh, I
never even thought about so no I do. In the
middle of the night, I reapplied grape seed oil to
my face because I mean, you probably sleep with a
silk pillowcase.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
No, no, I don't.

Speaker 2 (42:38):
Oh really, the silk pillowcase really helps because what happens is,
I mean I've just found you know that you get
all these amazing products, and you know, I do the
derma rolling, which is like the roller that puts like
the tiny micro needling in your face, and then I'll
put the product. Then I'll put the product on, and
then I you lay down and then you put your

(42:59):
face on your cotton pillow and it just absorbs all
of your product and all the leaches, all the oils
in your face and then for eight hours you're just
lying there. So I grew up half like on a farm,
and I just treat my skin the way that we
used to treat saddles, which is you never leave them
wet ever ever ever, you never let them out in
the sun, and you oil them every day like the
way because our faith is basically leather, you know, So

(43:21):
to me, I.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
Never your face feeder.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
I mean, you gotta It's like, this is what OCD
OCD really works for you. So when I get up
in the middle of the night, you know, I've got
my grape seed oil and I sit on the toilet,
put on the grape seed oil and then white. So
I guess it is technically somewhat hygienic. I have my
grape seed oil pump right by my toilet in my bedroom.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
So for me, there are many roads to roam. And
the micro needling thing, I never really trust that I
can do it right and I don't want to overdo it.
And people say you can break capillaries. For me, that's
just like a good exfoliation. So then the products absorb.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yeah, if you can do that, so I do. It's
just the role.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
But is that is that a fancy one? Oh it's not,
you said micro needle.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
No, I'm sorry, derma roll. It's little tread. It's got
these tiny micro needles in them. But it's not like
going to a facialist and doing I don't get facials.
I don't go to patrol. They I get bored and
they I always break out after.

Speaker 1 (44:19):
Okay, I don't understand what a creepy vintage holy water
bottle is that you that you collect?

Speaker 2 (44:25):
I just love.

Speaker 1 (44:26):
I don't want to make you walk again. But this
is the baby is gonna come. If you give birth
on the baby, do you know how big the downloads
will be?

Speaker 2 (44:33):
I mean, let's start crowning. I like vintage apocket theory
bottles this is, says mammary substance. I guess just want
umor in it. I just I just I like them.
I don't know. Maybe I come from descend from witches.
I mean, do you what do you collect?

Speaker 1 (44:51):
Do you have any I collect watches, I collect, okay,
back certain bags, and I'm trying to think of what else.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
I'm not there yet. Is there anything just odd that
you collect? Anything like it's gonna come to me chocho.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
I do like I don't collect them, but I like
snow globes. I have a decent I like certain snow globes.
We have to be very very nice ones. But I'm
gonna have to think.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
I do like things I don't like you have like
the New York on Madison Avenue snow globe kind of thing.
I like.

Speaker 1 (45:24):
I just think it's something that you can take a
memory with you and if you don't buy the really
cheapot ones, but sometimes the cheapo ones are fun too.
It is a good memory. And I put them in
different places throughout the house so it doesn't feel like
I'm hoarding them, but so I make them sort of decorative. Also,
I do like snow globes. I always have it and
it's more in now like it came back. But I
have always liked it.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
I like, I like chotchkes, and I don't have them
in my house is very austere for the most part,
but in here. So I did find these holy water
bottles on Etsy, like I love like flea markets, and
so I did collect these like holy water bottles that
were really beautiful. And I think it got online yet
because I gave it to Kesha.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
She and oh wow, okay, well that's good.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
She needed it.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
And you carry a hammer in the car in case
you ever see a dog or baby hopefully trapped in
a car. You mentioned a dog, but let's add baby.

Speaker 2 (46:16):
Let's add baby.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
Have you ever used it? Says it ever happened?

Speaker 2 (46:19):
I have? I have, and it was very, very embarrassing.
Well one time, okay, so I've had to do in
grocery stores a couple of times.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
You can't do it in grocery stores.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
You need to sorry in the in the parking lot
of a grocery store. Usually you can go in and do, hey,
can you make an announcement and say, whoever has the
blue Toyota Corolla. You need to come out here and
get your dog. Like usually in LA you can you
know do that first, but a law has been passed
now that it is illegal, so now I can just
you know do it. One time I did it outside

(46:50):
of these twelve step meetings, and I smashed this window
to get the dog out, and it's like a it's
like a hammer, but it also has like a glass
cutter on the side as well. It's worth it. The
woman have in their car anyway. And I stormed into
one of the meetings and was like, whose car is this?
Whose dog is this? That I'm like screaming, And it
was the meeting for people I swear to God covering

(47:13):
from parents with anger mansion, and it was like it
was like an AA meeting is like where the person
actually was. I just saw these people just like horrified.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
And I'm like, oh, working on this right now. I'm
glad you asked, because we're working on this passion. This
is a planned simulation. Do you want to see how
you reacted as crazy action?

Speaker 2 (47:35):
It like couldn't have been worse. And I never lose
my temper like that, only around like when it involves
children or animals, Like all bets are off, Like I
do not care if you think I'm an asshole. I
never lose my temper around shit like that. I was like,
I was like doing a helicopter with a hammer. I'm like,
who's got the yorkey in the page Cruiser? But did they? Do?

Speaker 1 (47:57):
They have the windows closed?

Speaker 2 (47:59):
Yes? Why?

Speaker 1 (48:00):
Like, explain to me why, Like, is someone allowed to
have theirs if it's sixty five degrees outside? Is someone
allowed to have their dog in the car if the
windows open?

Speaker 2 (48:09):
Is that allowed?

Speaker 1 (48:09):
Would you small?

Speaker 2 (48:10):
Like?

Speaker 1 (48:10):
What's the what's the actual rule? Are there no dogs
allowed to be in any cars no matter what windows open?
Are closed?

Speaker 2 (48:16):
The window up in California? Is I believe pretty? I mean,
because it's always hot here.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
And even if why would someone keep the windows up?
I don't even understand. Just crack the window if you,
let's say, desperate and you don't have pet care and
you have to go in to get a prescription and
you're an emergency, Like, why wouldn't someone just crack the
window if it's like seventy five degrees? Okay, so only fans.
I didn't really know what it is. And the name
sounds really nice. It doesn't sound porny at all. And

(48:42):
I was talking to Denise Richards about her being on
it and her daughter being on it, and she was
kind of saying, you could do anything on there. You
don't have to be not wearing clothes, and she said
you could be cooking. And I was like, oh, I
could do my cottage cheese potato bagel program on there.
She's like sure, and she's like, they probably prefer that
you were like wearing laingerie. So what goes on on

(49:04):
Only Fans? And then you were on OnlyFans TV and
it was massive for you.

Speaker 2 (49:08):
Yes, I am doing the first stand up special for
OnlyFans TV. Earlier in the year, I don't know, I'm
sure you remember the roasts that were on Comedy Central
and you know, you know Joan Rivers and Johnald Trump,
and you know, people started getting really scared of doing
roast and I was like, you know what, I'm going
to bring these back. Okay, let's just like elevate and
be more clever and not make this bottom of the

(49:30):
barrel trash roast the way it used to all be
about women's appearances and men's dicks.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
And you know, there's actually been saying about reality television.
I've been saying, you should explore and not exploit. And
it's not because I'm like killing the party. It's because
I'm saying, like all this bullshit of just trashing women.
Trashing women is not creative. You can have a good
conflict without you know, throwing your leg on the dance floor.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
It's just on original. It's like we've seen it. Like now,
it's like let's pivot, let's elevate, you know. It's like,
you know, so I'm not saying, don't talk about dix
or vagina, just make it original. We've we've heard all
this already, you know, Like I mean, and with Twitter
and with you know, Instagram, we all as comedians have
to level up and be more clever because I mean,
I see these memes online that everyone's sharing that are hilarious,

(50:12):
and I'm like, a comedian didn't make that. There's a
lot of funny people out there, you know, like it's
not just us, like we need to make funnier than
all of this. You know. So we did want a
roast of me and then a roast of berg Kreischer.
We put them on OnlyFans TV. It's just of dot TV,
totally free. You don't have to put in a password.
You don't have to, you know, get charged four ninety

(50:32):
nine and then have some weird subscription on your credit
card for the rest of your life that you can't
get rid of. You know, all of TV is doing
some really interesting stuff and completely uncensored. So I wouldn't
been able to do that at Netflix. I wouldn't have
been able to do that at Hulu. Hula's now owned
by Disney like, so you had paid?

Speaker 1 (50:46):
Was it because only fans wanted to start? So you
get paid. It's great for only fans, and it's a
great and it's a content to the people model, which
is my entire life now. Yeah, And everybody thinks, for
some reason I would want to be on traditional television.
I don't.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
I Well, then you can't. If you're going to be
on traditional television these days, you can't make fun of
the vaccine. You can't say certain things. I mean, YouTube
now will age restrict certain things. I had this huge
porn star on my podcast and it got age restricted.
It got to monetize it. If you we have to
bleep our podcast on YouTube now for the first half hour,

(51:21):
or you basically don't get an algorithm.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
I've literally been pitched so many shows in the last
year or so, and there was I was going to
do a show on Bravo that I backed out of
because what I didn't want to do. Let's talk to
the suits around the table. Let's get their watered down
ideas that the suits think that they that what they know,
what's everyone's going to want to watch. Let's then wait
six months to shoot it, then six months to edit it.
Now all this store, all the day, all.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
The jokes are stale, and that funny Ukraine joke is
now hacky, and you look like you're not as funny
as you are, and like it's not topical. And here's
the thing. All these suits, all these executives like look,
they go into these rooms and go, oh, let's look
at Bethany's new show. They think they have to talk
as their job. Like no one is able to go
like I loved it. Should we adjourn the meeting. Let's

(52:06):
error everyone because they're like jobs, I have to go.
I don't know if I get that joke? Is she like?
They have to overthink it as their job. They're getting
paid four hundred thousand dollars a year. They think they
have to do it to justify their existence. I remember
one time I was doing a notes call with a
studio and they schedule for a TV show. They schedule

(52:28):
the notes call to be an hour, and I'm like,
you guys don't even know how many notes. You haven't
read the script yet, and you already have the notes
called being an hour. You just have to fill this hour.
Your job is to just fill this hour, to overthink.

Speaker 1 (52:42):
Things and you really analyze data versus going as a
gut like really, no one.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
Gets promoted off of going like love it, let's air it,
love it. They're like what you know? So it's it's
their job to be critical and overthink things and create
problems that aren't really there. Get it out. Let the audience.
It's decide you're not the target audience. You know. That's
why I love focus groups. I say, give it to
a focus group.

Speaker 1 (53:05):
I rather yeah, one hundred percent. Well, you have focus
groups on social media also. People tell you they hate you,
people tell you they love it. You could figure it out.
So what's your model? Now you've done seven Netflix specials,
what's your model? What's your relationship to doing Netflix specials

(53:28):
to going out on the road like you're pregnant, you're
having a baby, Like, what's what's the whole soup look like?

Speaker 2 (53:33):
Now? I guess my big thing right now? You know,
it's like I really just want to make sure that
I'm doing specials in a lot of different places because
you know, it's like I did these Comedy Central specials.
I did, you know HBO specials. There's all these different
people networks that ever. You know. Now my HBO specials
are on Paramount, plus my Commedy Central specials, I don't
even know where those are. So I think I'm at
the point where I'm kind of want to own my

(53:54):
own content so that when that works come and go,
at least I'm able to have it. And okay, let's
put it on Amazon now all right, let me take
it back and now I'll put it on Showtime. Okay,
that's it. Now I'll put it on YouTube, like yes, however,
we actually get it to our audiences. And also it's
important to me that it's free, you know, like comedy
is different than a lot of other things. It's like
because you might not like it. Comedy's fashion. You know,

(54:16):
I also need we need to be able to cut
it up so that people can consume it on TikTok
or rumble.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
Or you need the wing, you need the broth, you
need to make a bunch of different things out of
the same thing. I agree.

Speaker 2 (54:26):
I agree, it's gonna be a different platform in two years.
Like that's the thing about OnlyFans TV is like I
remember remember when Netflix first came out and they were like,
will you do a special with us? And I was like,
is this the place that throws DVDs and envelopes at
your door? Like what I've always been a little bit
When Twitter came out, I was like, ugh, I'm not
going to take pictures of my smoothies like I've always

(54:47):
been a little bit, Like I'm a comic. It's embarrassing
to promote yourself. I'm going to go with the established.
But when you do that, you're just gonna be behind.
So when they're like, oh, f TV, I'm like, that's
the next thing. Let me just jump on it. Even
people make fun of me, even if people don't get
it and they think it's a poor in site, like
I'd rather be and this is what I learned in
real estate. I'd rather be the person everyone's like, oh,

(55:08):
why are you moving there? And then I have the
last laugh later.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
But it's much easier. What you didn't realize I'm in
the same place as you. You didn't realize, is it's
much easier. I used to call up any komb like
get the cameras because something is like I got my
own cameras, Like.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
Get you all.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
I see behind you there are two cameras in there.
It doesn't even have to be the best, best of
the best quality. So you could be performing at some
shit club and have some uncommon shoot it and ask
them can I have this content and it's yours. I
totally agree with you that that's what.

Speaker 2 (55:34):
People don't know. I mean, I remember when I was
doing you know, Two Burke Girls. You know, people would
come up to me and I'm not trying to, you know,
self aggrandize, but I'm just trying to make this point
is they would come up to me and with tears
in their eyes, and they'd be like, two work girls
change my life, and I change. I quit my horrible
job and I started my own business because of you
and because of watching Two Burke Girls. I've seen every
episode backwards and forwards, and then my question was always

(55:55):
what network is it on? And they'd be like, right, ah,
no one knows. They google Bethany Frankel new TV show
Bethany and whatever comes up.

Speaker 1 (56:07):
It's content to the people.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
It's to be It's tree b, it's wee b, it's wah,
it's Hulu, it's haha, like it's always you know, Sisop
came and went, TBS came and went. So for me,
the last Netflix special I did, I paid for myself
and then licensed to them this one. You know, licensing stuff.
I think, you know it's gonna cost It's gonna cost
you more in the short term, but then you're actually like,

(56:29):
I mean, there's starting to get too granular here, but
like there's huge comics like Sebastian, Joe Cooy, Gabriel and Glacias.
These comics that are selling out fifty thousand seed arenas.
These are some of the ones that Comedy Central didn't
give specials to in the beginning, and they went, oh,
I got to shoot my own special. I got it
out of pocket, spend twenty grand and shoot it myself.
But they're having the last laugh because they were able
to put it on Serious and Raw Dog and Spotify

(56:50):
and they actually own their content.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
Just a Sebastian Mescalco for my birthday in Atlantic City.

Speaker 2 (56:56):
The best, the best, the best.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
He is really because he's got physical comedy angle. It's
like the modern dice Clay got that, but he really
exaggerates the gestures and it really lands, and I thought
he was great.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
He was great. I also love that Sebastian. I have
a lot to learn from him. And sorry, sorry to
keep going, but now now I also really want to
like elevate I think that as a woman in comedy.
Sorry to bring gender into it, I still believe in gender.
Sorry guys, but uh, I think I'm ready to not
have to lean on the like, oh look at me

(57:30):
and my sneakers and hoodie and like I'm you know, a.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
Little comedy girl. You mean like that kind of thing.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
Yeah, just kind of like I think that, like self deprecation,
I had to do that for a long time in
order to, you know, feel like I wasn't you know,
you know, I don't have to tell you like you
are way more fearless than me around this kind of stuff.
But I think that on a woman, like oh, you're
so ambitious. I've heard that a lot. You're you're so Hollywood,
like you're very networky, like if you have success or
try I'm like, yeah, I'm a try hard I don't

(57:58):
know what to tell you. I try really hard. I
want to succeed. And I look at Sebastian and I'm like,
this next phase is my sequin blazer phase. It's my
bedazzled headband phase. Like I'm gonna like.

Speaker 1 (58:13):
I'm doing whatever the fuck I want phase.

Speaker 2 (58:15):
Yeah, Like I can be funny and unapologetic and like
feminine and I feel like a bumpet is in my future.
I feel like like I can be more glad. I
want to move towards being a little more glamorous. I
don't have I don't have this narrative anymore that like
women won't like me if I try hard or something. Well.

Speaker 1 (58:35):
When I was so growing up, I've always been into comedy.
I remember I was a little kid when I was
watching Delirious and Raw and George Carland. I've always been
obsessed with SNL. My one dream in my life is
to host SNL. It's the only dream that's unrealized. And
I had an internship at NYU that I was given SNL,
but n y you wouldn't give me the credit so

(58:55):
SNL wouldn't let me do it because at NY you
wouldn't give me the credit. And I just stopped then.
And I was so pissed years later because knowing who
I am now, I would never have allowed that. I
would have pushed through. So I've always been like comedy
adjacent roast. I was on the whatever you call the
Dais and I roasted Betty White at her like ninetieth birthday.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
At the Friarschre.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
So I've always dabbled. I did stand up comedy one
night and called all the comedians that I know.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
One of my entertainment heroes was Dennis Robin. I know
that's random, but I remember watching him and going, he's
a I was very serious basketball player, and it was
like he's defense. This guy is putting on a show.
He is die. People are spending eighty dollars to go
see a game. Most people do not, They're getting a babysitter,

(59:39):
they're paying god knows what for parking in an NBA game,
and this guy is giving them a show. He's not
too cool for school. He's like, I'm gonna blue hair,
I'm gonna red hair, I'm gonna wear a wedding dress
like and for me, I think a lot of comics
are like, I'm just gonna lean against a wall and
wear my brown hoodie and I'm barely here, and I
like to be unapologetically. I am putting on a show
for you. I want to entertain you. I want to

(01:00:02):
give you the best night of your life.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
I know it's so sure you have your opportunity up
on stage, so go all in. That is absolutely true.
It's funny because I never knew really who Travis Kelsey was,
but watching a lot of his footage of him dancing
on the field, like, people want to see that great.

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
And also, no one's mad at you if you shine
to bright, and if they are, that's their problem. That's
me and my mom. Shit, I think my mom was
kind of like weirdly jealous of her kids, or like competitive,
or maybe the scarcity complex. If I wanted female comics
to like me and not think that I who knows,
who gives a shit?

Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
That's good too, Yeah, because other comments you don't like,
what the hell is she doing?

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
I don't know? Yeah, why is she wearing bee Dazzled?
I get these Betsy Johnson I have a collection of
be dazzled boots in every color, and I'm like, there's
no more apologetic who me like in front of ten
thousand people. Let's just like, all, if you want to
wear that crazy thing, wear that crazy let's all just
go start wearing capes like Joan Rivers did and Feather

(01:01:01):
BoA's the way philas Diller did, who cares like We're dying.

Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
Well, I feel not fraudulent, but I've always wanted to
do stand up and I did do it the one time,
three minutes at the night you call out to you,
and I feel when you say like, oh, you go
get it, you go do it. I guess I feel
fraudulent in the sense that I have never really didn't
really go down that road because I went to the groundings,

(01:01:26):
I took classes at Second City, Like I've always flirted
with it. But I think my cop out is that
when I do speaking engagements or appearances or on my podcast,
I get to insert it. But it is different. Like
I watched David Spain on TikTok. It's the funniest thing
you've ever seen because he's doing different stand up jokes
all day, giving him away for free and I feel like,
but he still goes on the road and really exercises

(01:01:49):
the muscle, so I give you a lot of credit.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
Also, I'm very jealous because you and Denise Richards did
a part two. I'm sorry I have to do another thing,
but let's do it if you ever, but if you
ever want to, I love talking to you and I
want you to come on my kit if you will
want to toot we do. We do have to get
into our feud about the Hamptons.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
Yeah, and you talked about it on Kelly and Mark.
All right, go have a baby. So nice to talk
to you. It was really amazing and I'm so grateful
and it was more than I thought it was going
to be, which I thought a lot. So yay, I
love you.

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
Okay, I'm gonna text you you have a good day.
Thanks for having me. Bye.

Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
Well that was we couldn't launch. We couldn't like launch
the rocket or the plane couldn't take off because I
had so much to say before even starting to talk,
which is what was amazing. The foreplay was as good
as the main act. She's awesome. Wow was that? I
mean I think that was my favorite and a long time.
And that's the only person that I could really say
that I've had on that would be amazing on a

(01:02:51):
podcast with me like that was beyond and as a
matter of fact, because I'm still a scaredy cat, maybe
on her show, I'll do ten minutes with her, like
just sitting fucking riff for ten minutes with her.