December 11, 2025 • 41 mins
Real Estate Star Ryan Serhant reveals to Bethenny the highs and lows of trying to do his job for an audience.
Find out how he reacted when producers suddenly flipped on him and the most insane reason he almost lost a $40 million deal!
All that plus, the power of negativity.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
My guest today is real estate broker, author, and reality
television star Ryan Surhan. Ryan is currently on Bravos Million
Dollar List in New York and It's spinoff Sell It
Like Surrant. Ryan was born in Houston, Texas, and moved
to New York City to launch his acting career, eventually
starring as Evan Walsh in nineteen episodes of As the
(00:34):
World Turns. He runs his own New York real estate firm.
He is charismatic, he is successful, he is engaging, he
is nice. This is just be with Ryan, Sirhan, Let's
get into it. Oh my god, thanks for coming and
being here. Where are you now and where do you live?
(00:55):
Most of the time.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I'm in Soho right now, I'm in the office.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
So you've stayed in New York. You're not leaving, You're
you're a New Yorker.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Yeah, I mean the business is headquartered here. I mean
we have a lot in Florida. Now, we have stuff everywhere.
We're in six states at the moment, and so I've
end up bouncing around a lot. But like our daughter's
in school here, it's a good spot.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
It's a good okay.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
I grew up on a farm, so like for me,
during COVID, a lot of people were like, oh, I
got to get out of the city, got it, And
I'm like, dude, I spent my life out of the city.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Like I feel like I just got here.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I mean even though I didn't, like I don't want
I don't want to go back, like I don't need
a lawn, like a lawnmower and a weed whacker, or
like my fucking hell. So I love having a sidewalk.
I'm like, I think it's great. And when everyone left
in twenty twenty, twenty one, twenty two, it was like
the greatest thing of all time. I mean, there was sadness,
but it was still great.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
And what about your wife, She feels the same way.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
No, she's in Greece right now. I think she would
live in London and a heartbeat. She lived in Miami
and a heartbeat. I think she she was born in
New York and then bouncedund and then they went back
to Athens pretty quickly, so she grew up in Athens.
But like for her, I think she just experiences New
York in a very different way than I experience it,
because like, New York is my office, you know, And
for her. It's like, you know, New York, it's a
(02:13):
little messy, right, there's other places to live.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I just bought an apartment back in New York. I
sold the other place. I sold it. I ended up
selling it for full ask, which was great, especially in
the pandemic.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
It was weird. And then I just got lucky, I think.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
And then I ended up buying another small place, almost
like a two bedroom, two and a half bathroom, hotel room,
if that makes any sense, just for when I'm there, Yeah, easy, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
But I haven't been back in a while.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
And this is on the Upper west Side, which is
I've spent less time in the Upper west Side than
I have in LA.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
I don't know it.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Yeah, it's fun, it's not.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I mean it's Upper West's families, it's residential.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
There's very few office buildings, a lout of.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Townhouse, yes, yeah, I mean that's more it's like the
suburbs of the city.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
And what about does your wife? How does your wife
feel about forward facing public profile like being on TV?
What's her relationship to that?
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Uh, it would not be her choice, that's for sure.
I mean she she did it for ten years on
million dollar listing and the spin offs and everything. For
for me, we worked on something else you know, this
year that will come out next year that she has
a very limited, limited exposure too, And I think she
(03:30):
was she was happy with that, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Because for her, like, what's that? What's the benefit?
Speaker 3 (03:35):
You know, if you can see a real benefit to
the exposure, then you want as much of it as
you possibly can. Like for me selling real estate and
the books and the education, like all the stuff that
we do. It's important for me now and but for her,
and I think for a lot of people, like it's
just it's almost just a negative more than anything exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
It's funny because with my fiance, we've talked about it
very briefly because it's a kind of an on starter.
But it's the same thing that you're saying, where is
the upside? Like he even felt even him being his
face being on for two seconds, even without even speaking, yeah,
just to say that he existed. There is no upside
because what if he felt unpleasant about what he was
(04:19):
wearing or what he looked like or anything like he does,
there's no reason, you know, that's interesting.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
People are mean, at least the people that the keyboard
warriors are mean. So I'm pretty good at turning all
that stuff off, Like I don't, you know what I mean,
Like I've dealt with rejection and ridicule for a long
long time. But for people that don't, I mean, you see,
you know billies from Tennessee's you know, negative comment on you,
and you take it to heart.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
You can't sleep. You're like, well, maybe I do look
stupid like you.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
You really really it affects you, and so like, why
put yourself in that situation if you can't handle it,
you know, if you don't let it roll up?
Speaker 4 (04:54):
It's funny.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
I would have I would have thought you were more
shielded because you sort of have like at the Housewives women,
it's just like women so close to other women with
the interactions. You at least had the shield of like
real estate as a reason you're all there and that
kind of stuff, which does present obviously other cutthroat aspects.
(05:16):
But I would have thought you were more shielded from
all the criticism.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
A little bit.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Yeah. No, I definitely empathize with you and especially every
other woman who's whoever puts themselves out there, whether it's
a reality TV or.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Through social media. Now, you know, like you see.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
How people treat even just large TikTok influencers now, and
these these people are young, you know, you know, they're teenagers.
Like I can't even imagine having to deal with international
verbal abuse at fifteen, just because I'm kind of like
having fun on social media, like I you know, my
daughter's four, and I don't even know how we're going
(05:57):
to handle that.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
It's getting worse.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
And it's funny because I was just texting with Denise Richards,
who came on the podcast and we did a whole episode,
but she was discussing her dinner where you may or
may not have seen it, but you may have seen clips,
and she had an upside down jacket and she was loopy,
and even her because she's been away from it for
a minute, and as the kind of person that usually
lets things roll off her back, I said, well, first
(06:21):
of all, right, now it's Christmas and people are really unhappy.
Many people are unhappy, which makes sense because of the
marketing of this. Second of all, like it's gotten really
really intense. And what's weird is that I used to
say that sex cells and or people used to say
that sex cells and now hate cells. It really does sell,
and you could think, like sure that you're being hated,
(06:44):
yet the numbers are going up and you're succeeding, and
oddly the hate is turning into success.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
And it's very counterintuitive.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Misery loves company, you know, it's it's yeah, that's that's it.
I mean, I remember like when million doire listing started,
you know, Bravo, the network producers were very focused on wins,
like people want to see people winning for the first
let's say four years of our time on air.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Right, they want to root for someone, They want to
root for someone. They would say, that's.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
What it was, Yeah, they want to root for you.
So you know it's going to be messy on this listing,
but you got to figure out how to sell it.
There was a lot of pressure because the deals were
all you know, real, and we filmed for a year,
and if there was a loss, it was like a
it was it was like it was like an issue.
And then everything changed in twenty sixteen and all of
a sudden, it was like, no, people don't want to
(07:37):
see you winning anymore because they can't relate to winning,
and so they want to see you losing because they
can relate to that, and so don't don't be so
nervous about getting everything sold. You know that big listing
over there, impossible to sell. Oh perfect, let's see you
get fired. And so like the show of the season
for those ten years, first four to five years was
a lot of yes, awesome when I sold it, great,
(07:58):
and then the next five years, like the market, everything's terrible,
you know, losing.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Crying to you so interesting and that's what people want,
you know, that's what people wanted to see.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
That's fascinating because I'm thinking about Housewives plots and I'm
thinking about Genshaw going to jail, and I'm thinking about
how so many shows have been pitched about divorce and
not purchased.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Because theirs broken relationships.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Well no, but back then, if you pitched a show
about divorce, they would say, nobody wants to see a
show about divorce because it's not happy. And you're right, Now,
shows like The Scanderval whatever that Scanderval and the Maurice
and Kyle like it sells because it's misery and breakup.
That's so fascinating. It used to not be like that.
You're right, Wow, I never thought of that interesting okay.
(08:45):
So I also I didn't know that you wanted to
have an acting career, and it made me think of
something I saw, I think on one of the talk
shows with Arianna uh from vander Pump who's dancing and
doing really well, and I guess she initially wanted to
be an entertainer, and Kyle was an actress, and you know,
that didn't really pan out, and so so many people
(09:06):
that end up in this reality sphere that wanted to be,
you know, scripted actors. So I did not know that
that was you. So how did this all converge?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
I mean, I graduated college in two thousand and six,
and I moved to New York City to do theater.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
You know.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
It was it was that or try to retake the
ELSAT and go to law school, which I did not
want to do. And I had a little money saved
up from my grandfather who died, and some construction job
money in the summers and things, and so I gave
myself a couple of years and I promptly ran out
of money after the first two years. It was summer
two thousand and six to summer two thousand and eight,
(09:43):
and I just did not want a survival job, like
I didn't want to wait tables or bartender because I
just knew if I did that, I would then get
comfortable paying my rent with my tip money and all that,
and then I would never progress in my life, you know,
at least that's the way I felt at the time,
And and said, listen, acting, improv thinking on your feet,
(10:04):
memorizing information, being able to talk with a smile.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
That's sales.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
You don't know it, but you just spent the first
twenty three years of your life actually preparing to be really,
really great at selling things. You could sell anything you
want to anybody because you know how to have conversations
with strangers.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
And so you should get into real estate.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
And this was the summer of two thousand and eight,
so Lehman Brothers hadn't filed for bankruptcy yet, right the
recession hadn't started.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
And that all happened on September.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Fifteenth, two thousand and eight, which was my first day
in the business. And then I put acting to the
side because I just I ended up enjoying the work
of working in real estate in New York City. And
even though there's a significant amount of rejection, which is
why like ninety percent of the people who get their
real estate license in this country then quit in the
(10:54):
first two years. It wasn't the rejection I'd been used
to when acting, like, you know, going to auditions, you
get rejected to your face because of your face, you know,
and your voice or the fact that I went gray
when I was sixteen years old. And you know, so
in real estate, people reject you because they are going
to work with someone else, or they want to go
(11:15):
buy something somewhere else, so they don't want to rent.
You know, it's all you know, it's it's work focused.
And I just was able to charge through it. And
then a casting notice got put out for a millionaire
listening to New York in twenty ten. So I've been
doing it for like eighteen months and I saw that,
So I go, they're looking for the greatest real estate
agents ever invented. I've been doing this for like four minutes.
(11:36):
That's probably me. And so I went to an open
call in Times Square.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
So you were like building the plane while flying, you
already knew you had something and that you were good. Yeah,
but right, so when you got that gig, you sort
of the emperor had some clothes.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I mean, the Emperor knew what clothes he had to
put on.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
I don't know if they were on at the time,
but I knew what to say when I went into
the room, like it was on As the World Turns,
which is soap opera. For a little while. I'd done
some other small things, but I knew how to be
in front of a camera. I knew how to not
be nervous. I knew how to talk without my mouth
getting dry.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I knew how to Now you're portraying yourself on this
show as like the greatest real estate person of all time,
so you have to become that at the same time
is portraying it?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Yeah, future me, I mean that was a That's always
been a big thing for me though, is like my
boss is me in the future, right, My boss is
me at sixty five years old. Like that guy's life
better be awesome because I work for him, you know.
And you can use those you can use those face
apps on your phone to age yourself to make you
look old, and for a long time I actually did that.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, do you spend at below or above your means?
Speaker 2 (13:07):
You know?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
For a while, I definitely spent above, and I would
use financial pressure as a way to force myself.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
To work harder.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
I get that. I like that.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
When I bought my first apartment, like I I was,
my budget that I like was comfortable with was like
a million and a half right when I was like
walking around New York and in New York City, that
gets you like maybe a nice one bedroom, you know,
unless you're willing to do a ton of work, which
I didn't know I wanted to do. And then I
started thinking about future me like, Okay, if I buy
(13:38):
a one bedroom, I'm going to have to move in
two or three years, and then I've got transaction costs.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
I've got this.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
So do I do what's really comfortable for Ryan today
or do I do what's comfortable for Ryan in three years?
And I don't care that Ryan would be uncomfortable today
because he's going to grow out of it. And so
my first apartment, it was like three point seven.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Wow, that's a big jump.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Was and my parents were like, this is the stupidest
financial decision you've ever made. But guess what two years later,
I'm like, I've outgrown this place now because I pushed myself,
you know, I pushed myself and did it, and then
you know, you move up that way and then starting this.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I mean, I started my own company in twenty twenty.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
And totally bootstrapped and spent everything, but it was all
it was all worth it. So I definitely spend I
spend above means, but I'm not stupid.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Yeah, but you only spend it sounds like you don't
spend above means on like the trappings and the cars
and in the vacations, in the air mes or you
spend only You only spend above in something that you're
betting on yourself, like an investment.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Yeah, I bet it myself all day every day. I don't.
Like I have some nice stuff, but I just don't.
I don't get enjoyment out of that. Like what would
I do with a sports car?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Like I would never I have cars and I drive
them once on saturdays. Like I don't know what I right?
What do I do?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
What I will take and spend money on is like
I need a full time driver at all times, and
I want that car to be nice because I live
in it, right, you know, I want a nice office.
I have an entire building for myself with my name
on it in the center of soho.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
You know that's bigger than product.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Like I couldn't have afforded this building had I been
like spending money on clothes and cars and vacations for
ten years.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
That's the point. It's a strategic spend. It's always a
strategic spend with you.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe I could have nicer stuff, but
I don't know. It just doesn't make me happy and
it would probably stress.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Me out way too much.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Well, no, that's that's something interesting for people to think about,
like where it could there's different ways to spend above
your means or just I call it getting over your
skis a little bit.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
I think that's good.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
I think there's a balance between really putting yourself in
debt and being a little over your skis. But I'm
like that with real estate, where everything I ever look at,
even if it's going to be an investment or something
I might flip, I always look at it as its
potential and could I move.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
It in a minute?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Sure?
Speaker 1 (16:05):
And would I be willing to live in it if
I could if I lost everything and had to get
rid of everything else. So everything is sort of like
a moveable piece. Even though I do get emotional and
do you get emotional about any real estate?
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Not really, because I this is all It's what I do,
you know, and so I I probably wish I could
get emotional sometimes. I mean, I get emotional over over deals.
You know, I'm very personally attached to the deal process.
But I'm not like I don't walk into a loft
and get super excited about the exposed beams. I get
(16:38):
excited about the exposed beams if I know it. It can
add one hundred dollars a foot to the sale price.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
You're in Brooklyn now, which is an interesting thing. Like
I would have bet that you would be in New York.
You moved to Brooklyn.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yeah, built a townhouse.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
Are you emotional about your own place?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Like?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Why that place?
Speaker 3 (16:53):
It was a listing I had. It was Jonathan Saffron
Foyer's house, a big author, and was selling it. And
the market was tough, and it was like twenty seventeen,
going into twenty eighteen, Trump is in office, people stopped
getting excited about buying real estate, right it was all
people were just keeping money in the stock market and
so pricing was just coming down across the board, and
(17:14):
he wanted to sell it, and I said, well, I
could just buy it, but I'm not going to pay
your asking price. I could pay acts and he said okay.
And then all of a sudden, I was buying a
townhouse in Brooklyn, but it's a significant amount of space.
And then I gutted it for four years, which is
not the plan because then we got stuck during COVID
(17:36):
and it took forever, and it was just like, oh
my god.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
But I love it now that you know.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
I was walking through this weekend just you know, at
the Christmas tree up and the decorations around, like this
is this is awesome.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I'm glad.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
I'm glad I did this, even though I get terrified
every time it rains.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
So you are emotional about your own place now, like
no one could buy that from you right now?
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Oh no, I would sell it. Yeah sure, I mean
I'm a broker. At the end of the day, like,
I'll move somewhere else, I'll do another project, I'll go
back to the city. I'll go into a building. I
mean in the townhouse, you just don't have the you
don't have the view. You know, you don't have the view.
You don't the doorman, you don't have the services so
it's cool. It's cool, but I don't I don't think
I'll be there forever.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Well, what is the biggest challenge deal?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
A deal where you were like, I'm getting fucked right now,
or this is going to be bad or this you
know what, when was it that you really had to
like grab onto something because you were scared?
Speaker 4 (18:31):
In real estate, like a personal deal all together?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Well, I think it's all personal because it's your commission,
it's or your reputation, it's your client, your contract, whatever.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
I mean, we we get involved.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
We have a significant new construction business where we do
a lot of new development towers. We work with developers,
and you know there's a lot of you know, we
don't I don't. I don't take a salary. You know,
people can complain about broker commissions all day long, but
there's no like, I only succeed if you succeed. And
I'm not hedge fund. I'm not taking twenty percent of
your profits. Our commissions are like two or three. You know,
(19:04):
our lawyers paid way more per hour than we do.
But you know, on developments, there's a lot of pressure
and you can spend a lot of time working on
those and working on those and working on those and
then not have them come to fruition or like you
just said, with your place right, like busted my butt
(19:25):
to try to get your place sold and then you
switch brokers and a guy comes through and offers you
the full but like, sometimes these things just happen and
you can't control it, and you know, sometimes it's all
in the timing.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
I've come into listings and buildings.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
As the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth broker and like
a woman calls the name or this just happened to me.
It's at a townhouse on sixty first Street where we
were the second broker and.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
The first broke. Is not like they did a bad job, really.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
You know, they don't have the exposure we do and
their marketing was boring. But like the market's also really
you know, it's been hard this year. Interest rates went
to eight percent, Like there's a liquidity cronch, you know
it's and uh so we put it out there and
not long after we did, someone reached out from Croatia
okay and said how much to buy the house.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
It felt like a scam. Yes, the asking price is
sixteen sent of your money.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Yeah, and they were like okay, what about all the furniture,
And I knew the sellers would just include the furniture.
It's like the furniture is not included in the price,
and they're like sixteen million for the house, three hundred
thousand for the furniture. We want to sign a contract
in two days. We want to close in ten days.
It's like okay, sure, that's it's been on the market
for a long long time and it was real and
(20:38):
they closed, it went through. It was in the press
like it was like what, yeah, So I've been on
both sides. I'm you know, I'm an adult. Everything's cool.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Well, this this is interesting to me. I think in
my experience, I have limited experience, but I've sold, bought
and sold a few places.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
I have. I mean, I've flipped three places.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
In Connecticut during the pandemic, and I have like a little.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Bit of the bug.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
But so my opinion is it's like life and relationships,
people get caught up on the small things. Like in
divorce too, people get tripped up on the small things.
So furniture negotiations, for example, when people want to include
the furniture, don't you find that all those stupid details
are what really lose deals, like people are worried about
Wait a minute, he said, it was going to be
that you like, shut the hell up, do the deal.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
We'll worry about the furniture after.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I was doing a mansion sale on the water in
the Hampton's and Bridge Hampton. It was an off market deal.
It was forty million dollars. The seller was a billionaire.
My buyer was a billionaire, which is which is tough
because you're putting two kings of industry against each other. Right,
And the deal was struck. Fine, we'll pay forty million
for this house, all furniture, everything included. The way we
(21:48):
saw it, no problem. OK, Yeah, you're gonna take your
personal items like your photos of your family.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
We don't want those. But that was it. That's how
the deal was done. And these types of guys like.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
They they're like, you know, they got to trust you,
otherwise who cares. And then the seller comes back to
us with an exclusion list of like, oh I forgot
my wife wants to keep, and we're keeping this and
we're taking the blanket downstairs. And that deal nearly died
over one blanket, and I had to posture back to
the sellers like, here's here's what's going to happen. If
(22:18):
you want me to go to my buyer and tell
them that you forgot to tell us about a blanket,
I don't care who made it. I don't care if
it's made out of the hair of baby Jesus. You
know what he's going to say. He's going to say,
I don't care about the blanket. But what else is
the seller now not telling us? What else did they forget?
You know what, I don't feel good about this deal anymore.
I'm way too busy buying whatever else he goes and
(22:41):
buys in his companies and all that they keep their blanket.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
I'm going to keep my forty million dollars.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
Thanks, Oh thank god.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
That's how these people work. And I've been in that
situation where the deals have died. So you have to
practice the art of selective communication, right. You have to
be honest at all times. But when you're honest is really, really,
really important, especially in these trains actions. And so I
had to handle the blanket issue. I had to get
them to leave the damn blanket. It was a whole
(23:07):
thing I had to anyway, it was like this whole
whole whole process. And then when the deal got done,
I went to the buyers like, hey, they just want
to let you know. I had to buy the seller
a really expensive blanket from like Indonesia. I guess it
was in order to get this deal done, and they
it just so you know, I just want you to
(23:27):
know because I needed all to be me.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
I just need to know what the blanket was. That's fascinating,
that's great.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
It was they got it.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
They'd gotten it on their honeymoon when they got married
thirty years prior, and they had like traveled the world
for it or something something, and it was like this heirloom,
and they thought they had had it in another house
because they hadn't been to this house in a long time.
And so when they realized it, they didn't think it
was a big deal without understanding that.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
It could be like it was what it represented.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Yeah, you shouldn't have said, Okay, we have a deal
forty million everything in the house and that's what they said.
So then if you're representing that, oh, maybe what you
said wasn't one hundred percent accurate. We're not talking about
forty dollars price anyway.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Sold that out. Uh, that was a tricky one. But
I feel like every deal is tricky, none of them.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Yeah, well people do. It's like worrying about a deck
chair off the Qi qi too. And the thing I
think is interesting, I want to talk to you about
this because you're an expert on this, and I do
this a lot, not in real estate but in other areas,
and so people have a certain negotiating style and everyone's
is different. And I find that whether someone's buying a
(24:38):
car or anything that seems like it's negotiable, they always
come in super super low, thinking that the person who
listed something doesn't really mean it of people, and I
don't do that. Like I went into that apartment that
we just talked about that sold for seven million, and
(24:58):
it was I walked in there with Frederick two days
before the election when Trump got elected, and like everyone
was just like not knowing what was going on. And
I saw this apartment and it had been listed for
a long time and it was a problem apartment and
I could just see what it would be and everybody
thought I was nuts that I wanted to buy this place.
And it was four point two and that just didn't
feel like too much for this place. And I didn't
(25:19):
want to fuck around, so I just said to him
full ask like, which is confusing because everybody's like, wait,
why would you you could have?
Speaker 4 (25:25):
Because if I.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
See something that I really think has potential and I'm
not willing to lose it, what was I going to
do go in at three nine and then take two days?
Speaker 4 (25:32):
And somebody else like, is that?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Do you?
Speaker 4 (25:34):
What do you feel about that?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I'm a very like, I appreciate that, but I'll also like,
go in at three seventy five if that's what I
really meant, and I'll be like, that's it too. I'm
not kidding either, Like I'm just not a kidding negotiating
like this is what it.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
I just really mean.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
What I think, like you know, and I try to
be rational about it, But I wonder what your style
is personally, and what you think about the psychology of
how people should negotiate, and if people should get to
know their style, and if everyone's is different, and that's okay.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Every culture's negotiating style is different, and so you end
up doing this a long enough time you understand who
you're talking to, how they operate, how they posture, they
tell you they're pulling out. But you know, they're really
not like I. Obviously, I appreciate people who just tell
it the way it is, like you do like I.
You know, in January of twenty twenty one, as the
(26:23):
COVID market actually started to become a thing, so I
met a guy in the Upper east Side and I
told him you should buy a place in Florida insteads like,
you should declare tax residency in Florida. You have enough
time to do it. What are you doing here? We
have we have an office there. Now, let's go. And
that was a Tuesday. On Thursday, we flew down to
Palm Beach and on Friday we were in contract for
(26:43):
a house on the ocean in Palm Beach for just
under one hundred and forty million dollars. And that guy
makes decisions fast, and he's incredibly smart, obviously, but I
really appreciated that moment. And then I took myself to
a lobster dinner for one because I had no idea
what to do with myself in that moment. I just
sat there by myself with the breakers and it was like,
can I have taken lobster by myself?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Please?
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Yeah? But you know, we also deal with a lot
of people who no matter what the price is, even
if it's so discounted, the price makes no sense. It's
too low. They come in and they offer twenty five
percent off, like those people would negotiate the price of
a bagel. I also don't understand how those people even
order dinner, Like you must go to a restaurant. At
a diner, if it has more than the page, you
must have a you must have a heart attack, Like
how do you decide what to eat?
Speaker 1 (27:29):
I find that people who fuck around lose things, Like
if you were I found.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
The use their time more, but they lose the place too.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I feel like, you know, I feel like real estate's
different than it used to be, Like now the watch
industry is different than it used to be.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Watches are way above market.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
You used to be able to get watches below market,
Like that's just that you get you buy what we're
asking it for. That's like kind of what that industry
is about now. And real estate seems more like that.
It used to be the paining full ask was never
happened ever, and now it's like a thing or even
over market.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Yeah, it depends, it depends on the market. You know,
there's there's still negotiability, and in lots of parts of
New York, there's negotiability again in Miami, in some parts
of the rest of Florida. If there's no negotiability in
our markets in South Carolina or North Carolina, or you know,
in parts of Connecticut. Who you know, where you are,
you know, it depends on inventory, you know. I care
(28:23):
the most about time, Like if you if you're going
to waste other people's time or your time because you're
going to fight for every dollar again, future you at
twenty years from now is never ever ever going to
remember that you save twenty bucks, right, you know? And
you learn a lot about people when when they spend
so much time doing that. And I've learned a lot
(28:45):
like I try to spend time with people who are
more successful than me. Like if I'm going to spend
my time away from my family or away from my
own personal time doing whatever the hell it is I
like doing, I want to make sure that time is
spent with with people who are going to make me better. Know,
And I work with a lot of clients now who
are are I guess technically classified as billionaires, And I
(29:07):
just find it really interesting to see how they operate.
Like they go to restaurants and they don't look at
the menu, you know, they tell them, hey, I got
about an hour and a half, bring me the best
why and they don't even bother, like why even bother
looking at them? If you have a dietary restriction or analergy.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
And I learned that. So now when I take clients
out to dinner, I don't even pick up the menu.
And you saved time. You saved that.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
That's so interesting.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yeah, do what do you like? What do you like?
Do you like the salmon? No?
Speaker 3 (29:34):
I don't fuck it, I don't, dude, just eat the food.
Just let's move, let's talk, let's engage us wisely.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Right, that's so funny. Yeah, I'm not exaggerating. It would
take me longer to order a pasta than it would
to buy an apartment, So I'll take that trade very
I care deeply about food and the foreplay of it,
but that's just a pat That's something I'm passionate about.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
That's very funny, though. What about now?
Speaker 1 (30:13):
So now people are locked in their homes because of
interest rates. I don't know how the pandemic was for
you personally, but you a person who like in the
stock market, you know, bets the dip and can like
play the volatility because most brokers have had their ass
is hand into them one way or the other in
the last couple of years. But if you're a person
who can like move like frogger with the market, I
(30:34):
don't know if your business has that ability, Yeah, a
little bit.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
I mean I as I spend a lot of time
in school, in history class, and what I've learned is
that history repeats itself time and time again. Every time
the market's great, it's never been better. Anytime the market's bad,
it's never been worse. Whether it's whether it's the saving
and loan crisis of ninety one, or the dot com
(30:57):
bubble or two thousand and eight, or Hurricane Sandy or
the pandemic. Right, it's unfortunately, we have minimal memories, and
I think that's I think that's a huge part due
to evolution. Like if you knew the pain you felt
or the fear, if you could really remember how scared
you were when you were broke that time, you wouldn't
(31:18):
be able to get out of bed, right, Like we don't.
We are not programmed to remember pain, right, We're programmed
to remember pleasure so that we can procreate and keep
the earth going in our own way, right, and that
that translates into business too. And so for me, like
COVID hit, New York City shut down, everyone was screaming
doom and gloom, end of the world. New York Times
(31:39):
was saying New York City's over and done with. I
was like, I think, and I went on like Fox
News in December twenty twenty and like, this is going
to be a w shape recovery, which means the market's
going to spike all the way down, which it did.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Stock market felt ten thousand points.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Everyone, Oh my god, everything's over, and then we're going
to rocket ship out of it, which we did in
twenty one and twenty two, and then we're going to
be like.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Holy moly, wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
We spent way too what's happening, what's happening, And then
we're in a rocket ship back down, which is what
this year has been in most markets, right. Tech markets
sell off, real estate market got tough, interest rates went high,
and now twenty twenty four, especially given the Fed's announcement
last week, is the last peak of that w and
we're coming out of it. And now that doesn't mean
(32:22):
that in twenty twenty nine it's not all going to
crash like it did in nineteen twenty nine. But I
think for at least the next couple of years, I'm
super bullish and excited, and so I've made big bets
that way. I mean, last December, everyone was saying the
end of crypto, crypto's over. Oh my god, everyone's stupid, all.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
These crypto people.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
Bitcoin dropped to sixteen thousand, and I went in hard, hard,
and because I missed it when it was at like
three or three thousand, and when it hard at sixteen.
And now we's I don't know, like forty five thousand
dollars and they're about to approve a bitcoin spot ETF
and so it's like you got to turn off the
news and turn off your phone and understand that.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Like you were saying, misery loves company people.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
I was thinking the same thing. It's exactly right what
you just said. When you said the clicker, I thought,
oh right, hate cells. That's where we are now, Misery
cells fascinating.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
I think ad dollars on news channels or on positive influencers.
You're not even turning on the news. If things are happy,
like what you can turned on and everyone's like, oh,
it's a nice, happy day to day, go to work,
enjoy your life like no one's watching it. So you
have to kind of propagate negativity, you know, and it's.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
It's fucked up, it's crazy. So if you can learn
how to tune that out and turn that off, things
are actually so much better than people make out.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Or use it and just realize it says more about
other people. I've started to have more compassion. I feel
like people must be really miserable, and I do attribute
some of it to the holidays, and so think about
how sad they must be if it makes them feel
better to be miserable and to criticize. You have a
four year old, I have a thirteen year old, and
it's helpful to tell kids like that they can use
it like fuel, like it really it isn't about them
(34:03):
what people are saying about them.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
So I think that's huge.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
That's such a great point, Like, you know, we learned
that and understand that you can.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
I have that. I have the ability for some reason.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Sometimes like someone says something so nasty and my first
reaction is like to smiles, like, wow, I really just
triggered that person.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
That means when I was.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Doing when I was in I think it was like
tenth grade, there was a bully in my school, right
who this is where I learned that, and the meanest
kid ever. Because I did theater. You would make fun,
you would call me every name under the sun. He
would like come up to me in class and flip
me behind my ears and like hit me. And you
(34:42):
know I was, you know, telling the whole school I
was was gay, and which is not a big deal,
but at the time when I was in tenth grade.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
You know I wasn't.
Speaker 4 (34:50):
Oh no, that was a big deal.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yeah, And you know it was tough.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
And then I remember, because we couldn't drive yet, I
think we were we were fifteen.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
I remember getting picked.
Speaker 3 (34:59):
Up school late and then driving home and on the
drive home his family, his dad's car was pulled over
and his dad was like screaming at him like out
of a movie and was slapping him in the face,
and the.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Kid was crying, crying, crying, And I have that image
is burned in my head of hurt people, hurt people.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
Wow, that's brilliant.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Wow, And so never forget that.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
So anytime anyone's ever mean or anything, I'm like you, Well,
one I get annoyed, but then I'm also like you,
and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Hurt people, hurt people. This is how this is. They
don't know another way to react to you, so they
do it the way that they were told to, which
is to be mean and to hurt you.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Right, Yeah, that's so crazy. That's so yeah, that's so true,
and I I do try. I was literally just talking
to Deddi s Richards about it. Is like you have
to just like use it as fuel. You have to
be like, wow, I really got that person lit up.
And you know, it's either it's either they are really
thinking about you and they hate you or they love you.
But in the middle is indifference. I means you're making
(36:03):
no impact whatsoever. So I'd rather I'd take the hate
over the indifference. I guess in general, what are the
biggest things going on now? Like what are the things
if someone's on a plane being like what are you
what are you working on? Like what would you say
besides like this apartment, that apartment, Like generally like another book,
another show? Like what are the big ticket items?
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Yeah, well, we I mean I started my own company
in twenty twenty and that was crazy. So, you know,
we run the real estate brokerage. We expanded to six
states this year. You know, we're about five hundred agents,
one hundred and fifteen staff members. We run an ed
tech business that's like Salesforce for sales training, that's B
(36:42):
to B and direct consumer as well. That's been super
wild and fun to watch that grow. And then we
have a production company for real estate. You know, I
like to stay with my within my niche. I think
the niche is key right, riches and niches, and so
all of those are growing. Next year, they're there's a
lot of big things happening. My third book comes out
(37:03):
in February. There is something that we made this year
that we shot that I can't talk about, but that'll
come out next year, which is super cool and just
very different and been.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
A lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
And I'm just excited about growth, and you know, I'm
excited for people. I think twenty twenty three was a
trying year for so many and I'm excited for that
to kind of be behind us and now use that
use twenty twenty three is that if it wasn't a
good year for you. Use it as fuel to make
twenty twenty four your fire. You know, it's like that quote. Yeah,
if you know, you know gasoline, like, if you know
(37:34):
how to use it, it can it can. It can
warm your house. Right, if you don't know how to
use it, it'll burn your house down.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
So use it, use it the right now you do
motivational speaking, I assume right you are.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
I used to do a lot more until I got
so busy, and that's hard.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
But I talked to salespeople all over the world. It's
Dubai and Abu Dhavi and Monaco and Australia and which
were nice, which were fun.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Yeah, I grew up on stage.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
It's like the one thing I can go back to
and step up on stage and like, oh, I'm kind
of home.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
Yeah, you're very, very like enlightening and positive and motivating.
I want to tell you something. If someone told me,
Noble told me. So many people have said to get
my real estate license because I bought you know, probably
in my life like ten to fifteen plate maybe not
even that many, but like ten twelve places if I
count to, maybe maybe fifteen.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
So I went online.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
I don't know which one it was in Connecticut, I think,
I don't remember if it was New York. And I
started doing the chapters and I wasn't gonna, like I
wanted to go to the class, and everyone's like you're
a loser, like you don't need to go sit in
a class like driving school.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
So I was like.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Fine, So in the car, I started the online thing
and then like every single chapter and I would read
through the whole thing like I was doing it right
because people said they kind of finagle it, and they don't,
they don't really pay attention and they try to take
the test at the end or I don't know what
their way is, but or someone else sits there in
front of it.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
I was really doing it.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
And at the end I would fail the quiz like
three times until it wouldn't let you do it again,
and then I would like reset, and then finally.
Speaker 4 (39:05):
I would pass the quiz.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
And Paul, my fiance, who's in real estate, that's his business.
He you know, develops as shopping centers, very successful and
you know, millions of square feet in real estate, and
he I was trying to get him to help me,
and he couldn't. We both were failing the quiz. I'm like,
we're fit. You're a fucking failure. You're in real estate.
We are I was on the cover of Forbes. I
can't do this dumb test. So we only got through
(39:28):
like a certain amount of chapters and I literally said
to him, I was like, you think Ryan, Sirhank could
like pass this test right now? Cold, Like, I just
want to give you the quizzes and see if you
could pass them.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
No, no, because they don't.
Speaker 4 (39:39):
You couldn't pass them.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
No, the quizzes don't.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
They're hard.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Yeah, it's like anything like, they don't. They don't test
you on anything you actually need to know. Like I
don't remember all the laws from the sixties that were
created for the board.
Speaker 4 (39:51):
There's this board, there's that board.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
There's how many days until And I'm such a dork
that I was like really paying attention, but I gave
I haven't finished at least. It's not like I'm to
get demoted, Like it doesn't expire.
Speaker 4 (40:01):
I can go back.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
But one day I'll get my real estate license. And
if you open in Connecticut, I can be a broker.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
We are open in Connecticutish ready, Yeah, Yeah, Florida is
the hardest one.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
I'm the broker record in Connectic can.
Speaker 4 (40:17):
Be harder than the one I talk because.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
It's hard because in Florida you guys to start dealing
with with with floodplanes and you know the state tests.
You know, like if you're taking it in in Connecticut,
you're like, what's what's the big deal in Florida? Like
they have to test you on meats and bounds and
you know, like ranch and farm and that's like.
Speaker 4 (40:34):
Me getting an MBA. I don't stop.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
I'm not ready for that. Okay, I'm not ready. I
have to get through. I have like twenty four more chapters.
I'm only through six.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
I have faith in you. You're a committed woman. You
will figure it out.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
I'm going to pass and we're going to we could
do a graduation ceremony. I will call you when I pass,
and then I will be a broker.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
Anyway. Yeah, awesome, Wow your responsibilities exactly. It was so
fun talking to you. I really appreciate you doing that.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Thanks for having me. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (41:01):
Have a happy holiday you too.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
You two h
My guest today is real estate broker, author, and reality
television star Ryan Surhan. Ryan is currently on Bravos Million
Dollar List in New York and It's spinoff Sell It
Like Surrant. Ryan was born in Houston, Texas, and moved
to New York City to launch his acting career, eventually
starring as Evan Walsh in nineteen episodes of As the
(00:34):
World Turns. He runs his own New York real estate firm.
He is charismatic, he is successful, he is engaging, he
is nice. This is just be with Ryan, Sirhan, Let's
get into it. Oh my god, thanks for coming and
being here. Where are you now and where do you live?
(00:55):
Most of the time.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I'm in Soho right now, I'm in the office.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
So you've stayed in New York. You're not leaving, You're
you're a New Yorker.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Yeah, I mean the business is headquartered here. I mean
we have a lot in Florida. Now, we have stuff everywhere.
We're in six states at the moment, and so I've
end up bouncing around a lot. But like our daughter's
in school here, it's a good spot.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
It's a good okay.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
I grew up on a farm, so like for me,
during COVID, a lot of people were like, oh, I
got to get out of the city, got it, And
I'm like, dude, I spent my life out of the city.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Like I feel like I just got here.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I mean even though I didn't, like I don't want
I don't want to go back, like I don't need
a lawn, like a lawnmower and a weed whacker, or
like my fucking hell. So I love having a sidewalk.
I'm like, I think it's great. And when everyone left
in twenty twenty, twenty one, twenty two, it was like
the greatest thing of all time. I mean, there was sadness,
but it was still great.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
And what about your wife, She feels the same way.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
No, she's in Greece right now. I think she would
live in London and a heartbeat. She lived in Miami
and a heartbeat. I think she she was born in
New York and then bouncedund and then they went back
to Athens pretty quickly, so she grew up in Athens.
But like for her, I think she just experiences New
York in a very different way than I experience it,
because like, New York is my office, you know, And
for her. It's like, you know, New York, it's a
(02:13):
little messy, right, there's other places to live.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I just bought an apartment back in New York. I
sold the other place. I sold it. I ended up
selling it for full ask, which was great, especially in
the pandemic.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
It was weird. And then I just got lucky, I think.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
And then I ended up buying another small place, almost
like a two bedroom, two and a half bathroom, hotel room,
if that makes any sense, just for when I'm there, Yeah, easy, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
But I haven't been back in a while.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
And this is on the Upper west Side, which is
I've spent less time in the Upper west Side than
I have in LA.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
I don't know it.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Yeah, it's fun, it's not.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I mean it's Upper West's families, it's residential.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
There's very few office buildings, a lout of.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Townhouse, yes, yeah, I mean that's more it's like the
suburbs of the city.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
And what about does your wife? How does your wife
feel about forward facing public profile like being on TV?
What's her relationship to that?
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Uh, it would not be her choice, that's for sure.
I mean she she did it for ten years on
million dollar listing and the spin offs and everything. For
for me, we worked on something else you know, this
year that will come out next year that she has
a very limited, limited exposure too, And I think she
(03:30):
was she was happy with that, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Because for her, like, what's that? What's the benefit?
Speaker 3 (03:35):
You know, if you can see a real benefit to
the exposure, then you want as much of it as
you possibly can. Like for me selling real estate and
the books and the education, like all the stuff that
we do. It's important for me now and but for her,
and I think for a lot of people, like it's
just it's almost just a negative more than anything exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
It's funny because with my fiance, we've talked about it
very briefly because it's a kind of an on starter.
But it's the same thing that you're saying, where is
the upside? Like he even felt even him being his
face being on for two seconds, even without even speaking, yeah,
just to say that he existed. There is no upside
because what if he felt unpleasant about what he was
(04:19):
wearing or what he looked like or anything like he does,
there's no reason, you know, that's interesting.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
People are mean, at least the people that the keyboard
warriors are mean. So I'm pretty good at turning all
that stuff off, Like I don't, you know what I mean,
Like I've dealt with rejection and ridicule for a long
long time. But for people that don't, I mean, you see,
you know billies from Tennessee's you know, negative comment on you,
and you take it to heart.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
You can't sleep. You're like, well, maybe I do look
stupid like you.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
You really really it affects you, and so like, why
put yourself in that situation if you can't handle it,
you know, if you don't let it roll up?
Speaker 4 (04:54):
It's funny.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
I would have I would have thought you were more
shielded because you sort of have like at the Housewives women,
it's just like women so close to other women with
the interactions. You at least had the shield of like
real estate as a reason you're all there and that
kind of stuff, which does present obviously other cutthroat aspects.
(05:16):
But I would have thought you were more shielded from
all the criticism.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
A little bit.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Yeah. No, I definitely empathize with you and especially every
other woman who's whoever puts themselves out there, whether it's
a reality TV or.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Through social media. Now, you know, like you see.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
How people treat even just large TikTok influencers now, and
these these people are young, you know, you know, they're teenagers.
Like I can't even imagine having to deal with international
verbal abuse at fifteen, just because I'm kind of like
having fun on social media, like I you know, my
daughter's four, and I don't even know how we're going
(05:57):
to handle that.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
It's getting worse.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
And it's funny because I was just texting with Denise Richards,
who came on the podcast and we did a whole episode,
but she was discussing her dinner where you may or
may not have seen it, but you may have seen clips,
and she had an upside down jacket and she was loopy,
and even her because she's been away from it for
a minute, and as the kind of person that usually
lets things roll off her back, I said, well, first
(06:21):
of all, right, now it's Christmas and people are really unhappy.
Many people are unhappy, which makes sense because of the
marketing of this. Second of all, like it's gotten really
really intense. And what's weird is that I used to
say that sex cells and or people used to say
that sex cells and now hate cells. It really does sell,
and you could think, like sure that you're being hated,
(06:44):
yet the numbers are going up and you're succeeding, and
oddly the hate is turning into success.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
And it's very counterintuitive.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Misery loves company, you know, it's it's yeah, that's that's it.
I mean, I remember like when million doire listing started,
you know, Bravo, the network producers were very focused on wins,
like people want to see people winning for the first
let's say four years of our time on air.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Right, they want to root for someone, They want to
root for someone. They would say, that's.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
What it was, Yeah, they want to root for you.
So you know it's going to be messy on this listing,
but you got to figure out how to sell it.
There was a lot of pressure because the deals were
all you know, real, and we filmed for a year,
and if there was a loss, it was like a
it was it was like it was like an issue.
And then everything changed in twenty sixteen and all of
a sudden, it was like, no, people don't want to
(07:37):
see you winning anymore because they can't relate to winning,
and so they want to see you losing because they
can relate to that, and so don't don't be so
nervous about getting everything sold. You know that big listing
over there, impossible to sell. Oh perfect, let's see you
get fired. And so like the show of the season
for those ten years, first four to five years was
a lot of yes, awesome when I sold it, great,
(07:58):
and then the next five years, like the market, everything's terrible,
you know, losing.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Crying to you so interesting and that's what people want,
you know, that's what people wanted to see.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
That's fascinating because I'm thinking about Housewives plots and I'm
thinking about Genshaw going to jail, and I'm thinking about
how so many shows have been pitched about divorce and
not purchased.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Because theirs broken relationships.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Well no, but back then, if you pitched a show
about divorce, they would say, nobody wants to see a
show about divorce because it's not happy. And you're right, Now,
shows like The Scanderval whatever that Scanderval and the Maurice
and Kyle like it sells because it's misery and breakup.
That's so fascinating. It used to not be like that.
You're right, Wow, I never thought of that interesting okay.
(08:45):
So I also I didn't know that you wanted to
have an acting career, and it made me think of
something I saw, I think on one of the talk
shows with Arianna uh from vander Pump who's dancing and
doing really well, and I guess she initially wanted to
be an entertainer, and Kyle was an actress, and you know,
that didn't really pan out, and so so many people
(09:06):
that end up in this reality sphere that wanted to be,
you know, scripted actors. So I did not know that
that was you. So how did this all converge?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
I mean, I graduated college in two thousand and six,
and I moved to New York City to do theater.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
You know.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
It was it was that or try to retake the
ELSAT and go to law school, which I did not
want to do. And I had a little money saved
up from my grandfather who died, and some construction job
money in the summers and things, and so I gave
myself a couple of years and I promptly ran out
of money after the first two years. It was summer
two thousand and six to summer two thousand and eight,
(09:43):
and I just did not want a survival job, like
I didn't want to wait tables or bartender because I
just knew if I did that, I would then get
comfortable paying my rent with my tip money and all that,
and then I would never progress in my life, you know,
at least that's the way I felt at the time,
And and said, listen, acting, improv thinking on your feet,
(10:04):
memorizing information, being able to talk with a smile.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
That's sales.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
You don't know it, but you just spent the first
twenty three years of your life actually preparing to be really,
really great at selling things. You could sell anything you
want to anybody because you know how to have conversations
with strangers.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
And so you should get into real estate.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
And this was the summer of two thousand and eight,
so Lehman Brothers hadn't filed for bankruptcy yet, right the
recession hadn't started.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
And that all happened on September.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Fifteenth, two thousand and eight, which was my first day
in the business. And then I put acting to the
side because I just I ended up enjoying the work
of working in real estate in New York City. And
even though there's a significant amount of rejection, which is
why like ninety percent of the people who get their
real estate license in this country then quit in the
(10:54):
first two years. It wasn't the rejection I'd been used
to when acting, like, you know, going to auditions, you
get rejected to your face because of your face, you know,
and your voice or the fact that I went gray
when I was sixteen years old. And you know, so
in real estate, people reject you because they are going
to work with someone else, or they want to go
(11:15):
buy something somewhere else, so they don't want to rent.
You know, it's all you know, it's it's work focused.
And I just was able to charge through it. And
then a casting notice got put out for a millionaire
listening to New York in twenty ten. So I've been
doing it for like eighteen months and I saw that,
So I go, they're looking for the greatest real estate
agents ever invented. I've been doing this for like four minutes.
(11:36):
That's probably me. And so I went to an open
call in Times Square.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
So you were like building the plane while flying, you
already knew you had something and that you were good. Yeah,
but right, so when you got that gig, you sort
of the emperor had some clothes.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I mean, the Emperor knew what clothes he had to
put on.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
I don't know if they were on at the time,
but I knew what to say when I went into
the room, like it was on As the World Turns,
which is soap opera. For a little while. I'd done
some other small things, but I knew how to be
in front of a camera. I knew how to not
be nervous. I knew how to talk without my mouth
getting dry.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I knew how to Now you're portraying yourself on this
show as like the greatest real estate person of all time,
so you have to become that at the same time
is portraying it?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Yeah, future me, I mean that was a That's always
been a big thing for me though, is like my
boss is me in the future, right, My boss is
me at sixty five years old. Like that guy's life
better be awesome because I work for him, you know.
And you can use those you can use those face
apps on your phone to age yourself to make you
look old, and for a long time I actually did that.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, do you spend at below or above your means?
Speaker 2 (13:07):
You know?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
For a while, I definitely spent above, and I would
use financial pressure as a way to force myself.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
To work harder.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
I get that. I like that.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
When I bought my first apartment, like I I was,
my budget that I like was comfortable with was like
a million and a half right when I was like
walking around New York and in New York City, that
gets you like maybe a nice one bedroom, you know,
unless you're willing to do a ton of work, which
I didn't know I wanted to do. And then I
started thinking about future me like, Okay, if I buy
(13:38):
a one bedroom, I'm going to have to move in
two or three years, and then I've got transaction costs.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
I've got this.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
So do I do what's really comfortable for Ryan today
or do I do what's comfortable for Ryan in three years?
And I don't care that Ryan would be uncomfortable today
because he's going to grow out of it. And so
my first apartment, it was like three point seven.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Wow, that's a big jump.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Was and my parents were like, this is the stupidest
financial decision you've ever made. But guess what two years later,
I'm like, I've outgrown this place now because I pushed myself,
you know, I pushed myself and did it, and then
you know, you move up that way and then starting this.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I mean, I started my own company in twenty twenty.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
And totally bootstrapped and spent everything, but it was all
it was all worth it. So I definitely spend I
spend above means, but I'm not stupid.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Yeah, but you only spend it sounds like you don't
spend above means on like the trappings and the cars
and in the vacations, in the air mes or you
spend only You only spend above in something that you're
betting on yourself, like an investment.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Yeah, I bet it myself all day every day. I don't.
Like I have some nice stuff, but I just don't.
I don't get enjoyment out of that. Like what would
I do with a sports car?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Like I would never I have cars and I drive
them once on saturdays. Like I don't know what I right?
What do I do?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
What I will take and spend money on is like
I need a full time driver at all times, and
I want that car to be nice because I live
in it, right, you know, I want a nice office.
I have an entire building for myself with my name
on it in the center of soho.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
You know that's bigger than product.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Like I couldn't have afforded this building had I been
like spending money on clothes and cars and vacations for
ten years.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
That's the point. It's a strategic spend. It's always a
strategic spend with you.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe I could have nicer stuff, but
I don't know. It just doesn't make me happy and
it would probably stress.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Me out way too much.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Well, no, that's that's something interesting for people to think about,
like where it could there's different ways to spend above
your means or just I call it getting over your
skis a little bit.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
I think that's good.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
I think there's a balance between really putting yourself in
debt and being a little over your skis. But I'm
like that with real estate, where everything I ever look at,
even if it's going to be an investment or something
I might flip, I always look at it as its
potential and could I move.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
It in a minute?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Sure?
Speaker 1 (16:05):
And would I be willing to live in it if
I could if I lost everything and had to get
rid of everything else. So everything is sort of like
a moveable piece. Even though I do get emotional and
do you get emotional about any real estate?
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Not really, because I this is all It's what I do,
you know, and so I I probably wish I could
get emotional sometimes. I mean, I get emotional over over deals.
You know, I'm very personally attached to the deal process.
But I'm not like I don't walk into a loft
and get super excited about the exposed beams. I get
(16:38):
excited about the exposed beams if I know it. It can
add one hundred dollars a foot to the sale price.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
You're in Brooklyn now, which is an interesting thing. Like
I would have bet that you would be in New York.
You moved to Brooklyn.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yeah, built a townhouse.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
Are you emotional about your own place?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Like?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Why that place?
Speaker 3 (16:53):
It was a listing I had. It was Jonathan Saffron
Foyer's house, a big author, and was selling it. And
the market was tough, and it was like twenty seventeen,
going into twenty eighteen, Trump is in office, people stopped
getting excited about buying real estate, right it was all
people were just keeping money in the stock market and
so pricing was just coming down across the board, and
(17:14):
he wanted to sell it, and I said, well, I
could just buy it, but I'm not going to pay
your asking price. I could pay acts and he said okay.
And then all of a sudden, I was buying a
townhouse in Brooklyn, but it's a significant amount of space.
And then I gutted it for four years, which is
not the plan because then we got stuck during COVID
(17:36):
and it took forever, and it was just like, oh
my god.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
But I love it now that you know.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
I was walking through this weekend just you know, at
the Christmas tree up and the decorations around, like this
is this is awesome.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I'm glad.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
I'm glad I did this, even though I get terrified
every time it rains.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
So you are emotional about your own place now, like
no one could buy that from you right now?
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Oh no, I would sell it. Yeah sure, I mean
I'm a broker. At the end of the day, like,
I'll move somewhere else, I'll do another project, I'll go
back to the city. I'll go into a building. I
mean in the townhouse, you just don't have the you
don't have the view. You know, you don't have the view.
You don't the doorman, you don't have the services so
it's cool. It's cool, but I don't I don't think
I'll be there forever.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Well, what is the biggest challenge deal?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
A deal where you were like, I'm getting fucked right now,
or this is going to be bad or this you
know what, when was it that you really had to
like grab onto something because you were scared?
Speaker 4 (18:31):
In real estate, like a personal deal all together?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Well, I think it's all personal because it's your commission,
it's or your reputation, it's your client, your contract, whatever.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
I mean, we we get involved.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
We have a significant new construction business where we do
a lot of new development towers. We work with developers,
and you know there's a lot of you know, we
don't I don't. I don't take a salary. You know,
people can complain about broker commissions all day long, but
there's no like, I only succeed if you succeed. And
I'm not hedge fund. I'm not taking twenty percent of
your profits. Our commissions are like two or three. You know,
(19:04):
our lawyers paid way more per hour than we do.
But you know, on developments, there's a lot of pressure
and you can spend a lot of time working on
those and working on those and working on those and
then not have them come to fruition or like you
just said, with your place right, like busted my butt
(19:25):
to try to get your place sold and then you
switch brokers and a guy comes through and offers you
the full but like, sometimes these things just happen and
you can't control it, and you know, sometimes it's all
in the timing.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
I've come into listings and buildings.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
As the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth broker and like
a woman calls the name or this just happened to me.
It's at a townhouse on sixty first Street where we
were the second broker and.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
The first broke. Is not like they did a bad job, really.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
You know, they don't have the exposure we do and
their marketing was boring. But like the market's also really
you know, it's been hard this year. Interest rates went
to eight percent, Like there's a liquidity cronch, you know
it's and uh so we put it out there and
not long after we did, someone reached out from Croatia
okay and said how much to buy the house.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
It felt like a scam. Yes, the asking price is
sixteen sent of your money.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Yeah, and they were like okay, what about all the furniture,
And I knew the sellers would just include the furniture.
It's like the furniture is not included in the price,
and they're like sixteen million for the house, three hundred
thousand for the furniture. We want to sign a contract
in two days. We want to close in ten days.
It's like okay, sure, that's it's been on the market
for a long long time and it was real and
(20:38):
they closed, it went through. It was in the press
like it was like what, yeah, So I've been on
both sides. I'm you know, I'm an adult. Everything's cool.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Well, this this is interesting to me. I think in
my experience, I have limited experience, but I've sold, bought
and sold a few places.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
I have. I mean, I've flipped three places.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
In Connecticut during the pandemic, and I have like a little.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Bit of the bug.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
But so my opinion is it's like life and relationships,
people get caught up on the small things. Like in
divorce too, people get tripped up on the small things.
So furniture negotiations, for example, when people want to include
the furniture, don't you find that all those stupid details
are what really lose deals, like people are worried about
Wait a minute, he said, it was going to be
that you like, shut the hell up, do the deal.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
We'll worry about the furniture after.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I was doing a mansion sale on the water in
the Hampton's and Bridge Hampton. It was an off market deal.
It was forty million dollars. The seller was a billionaire.
My buyer was a billionaire, which is which is tough
because you're putting two kings of industry against each other. Right,
And the deal was struck. Fine, we'll pay forty million
for this house, all furniture, everything included. The way we
(21:48):
saw it, no problem. OK, Yeah, you're gonna take your
personal items like your photos of your family.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
We don't want those. But that was it. That's how
the deal was done. And these types of guys like.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
They they're like, you know, they got to trust you,
otherwise who cares. And then the seller comes back to
us with an exclusion list of like, oh I forgot
my wife wants to keep, and we're keeping this and
we're taking the blanket downstairs. And that deal nearly died
over one blanket, and I had to posture back to
the sellers like, here's here's what's going to happen. If
(22:18):
you want me to go to my buyer and tell
them that you forgot to tell us about a blanket,
I don't care who made it. I don't care if
it's made out of the hair of baby Jesus. You
know what he's going to say. He's going to say,
I don't care about the blanket. But what else is
the seller now not telling us? What else did they forget?
You know what, I don't feel good about this deal anymore.
I'm way too busy buying whatever else he goes and
(22:41):
buys in his companies and all that they keep their blanket.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
I'm going to keep my forty million dollars.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
Thanks, Oh thank god.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
That's how these people work. And I've been in that
situation where the deals have died. So you have to
practice the art of selective communication, right. You have to
be honest at all times. But when you're honest is really, really,
really important, especially in these trains actions. And so I
had to handle the blanket issue. I had to get
them to leave the damn blanket. It was a whole
(23:07):
thing I had to anyway, it was like this whole
whole whole process. And then when the deal got done,
I went to the buyers like, hey, they just want
to let you know. I had to buy the seller
a really expensive blanket from like Indonesia. I guess it
was in order to get this deal done, and they
it just so you know, I just want you to
(23:27):
know because I needed all to be me.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
I just need to know what the blanket was. That's fascinating,
that's great.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
It was they got it.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
They'd gotten it on their honeymoon when they got married
thirty years prior, and they had like traveled the world
for it or something something, and it was like this heirloom,
and they thought they had had it in another house
because they hadn't been to this house in a long time.
And so when they realized it, they didn't think it
was a big deal without understanding that.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
It could be like it was what it represented.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Yeah, you shouldn't have said, Okay, we have a deal
forty million everything in the house and that's what they said.
So then if you're representing that, oh, maybe what you
said wasn't one hundred percent accurate. We're not talking about
forty dollars price anyway.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Sold that out. Uh, that was a tricky one. But
I feel like every deal is tricky, none of them.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Yeah, well people do. It's like worrying about a deck
chair off the Qi qi too. And the thing I
think is interesting, I want to talk to you about
this because you're an expert on this, and I do
this a lot, not in real estate but in other areas,
and so people have a certain negotiating style and everyone's
is different. And I find that whether someone's buying a
(24:38):
car or anything that seems like it's negotiable, they always
come in super super low, thinking that the person who
listed something doesn't really mean it of people, and I
don't do that. Like I went into that apartment that
we just talked about that sold for seven million, and
(24:58):
it was I walked in there with Frederick two days
before the election when Trump got elected, and like everyone
was just like not knowing what was going on. And
I saw this apartment and it had been listed for
a long time and it was a problem apartment and
I could just see what it would be and everybody
thought I was nuts that I wanted to buy this place.
And it was four point two and that just didn't
feel like too much for this place. And I didn't
(25:19):
want to fuck around, so I just said to him
full ask like, which is confusing because everybody's like, wait,
why would you you could have?
Speaker 4 (25:25):
Because if I.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
See something that I really think has potential and I'm
not willing to lose it, what was I going to
do go in at three nine and then take two days?
Speaker 4 (25:32):
And somebody else like, is that?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Do you?
Speaker 4 (25:34):
What do you feel about that?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I'm a very like, I appreciate that, but I'll also like,
go in at three seventy five if that's what I
really meant, and I'll be like, that's it too. I'm
not kidding either, Like I'm just not a kidding negotiating
like this is what it.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
I just really mean.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
What I think, like you know, and I try to
be rational about it, But I wonder what your style
is personally, and what you think about the psychology of
how people should negotiate, and if people should get to
know their style, and if everyone's is different, and that's okay.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Every culture's negotiating style is different, and so you end
up doing this a long enough time you understand who
you're talking to, how they operate, how they posture, they
tell you they're pulling out. But you know, they're really
not like I. Obviously, I appreciate people who just tell
it the way it is, like you do like I.
You know, in January of twenty twenty one, as the
(26:23):
COVID market actually started to become a thing, so I
met a guy in the Upper east Side and I
told him you should buy a place in Florida insteads like,
you should declare tax residency in Florida. You have enough
time to do it. What are you doing here? We
have we have an office there. Now, let's go. And
that was a Tuesday. On Thursday, we flew down to
Palm Beach and on Friday we were in contract for
(26:43):
a house on the ocean in Palm Beach for just
under one hundred and forty million dollars. And that guy
makes decisions fast, and he's incredibly smart, obviously, but I
really appreciated that moment. And then I took myself to
a lobster dinner for one because I had no idea
what to do with myself in that moment. I just
sat there by myself with the breakers and it was like,
can I have taken lobster by myself?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Please?
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Yeah? But you know, we also deal with a lot
of people who no matter what the price is, even
if it's so discounted, the price makes no sense. It's
too low. They come in and they offer twenty five
percent off, like those people would negotiate the price of
a bagel. I also don't understand how those people even
order dinner, Like you must go to a restaurant. At
a diner, if it has more than the page, you
must have a you must have a heart attack, Like
how do you decide what to eat?
Speaker 1 (27:29):
I find that people who fuck around lose things, Like
if you were I found.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
The use their time more, but they lose the place too.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I feel like, you know, I feel like real estate's
different than it used to be, Like now the watch
industry is different than it used to be.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Watches are way above market.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
You used to be able to get watches below market,
Like that's just that you get you buy what we're
asking it for. That's like kind of what that industry
is about now. And real estate seems more like that.
It used to be the paining full ask was never
happened ever, and now it's like a thing or even
over market.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Yeah, it depends, it depends on the market. You know,
there's there's still negotiability, and in lots of parts of
New York, there's negotiability again in Miami, in some parts
of the rest of Florida. If there's no negotiability in
our markets in South Carolina or North Carolina, or you know,
in parts of Connecticut. Who you know, where you are,
you know, it depends on inventory, you know. I care
(28:23):
the most about time, Like if you if you're going
to waste other people's time or your time because you're
going to fight for every dollar again, future you at
twenty years from now is never ever ever going to
remember that you save twenty bucks, right, you know? And
you learn a lot about people when when they spend
so much time doing that. And I've learned a lot
(28:45):
like I try to spend time with people who are
more successful than me. Like if I'm going to spend
my time away from my family or away from my
own personal time doing whatever the hell it is I
like doing, I want to make sure that time is
spent with with people who are going to make me better. Know,
And I work with a lot of clients now who
are are I guess technically classified as billionaires, And I
(29:07):
just find it really interesting to see how they operate.
Like they go to restaurants and they don't look at
the menu, you know, they tell them, hey, I got
about an hour and a half, bring me the best
why and they don't even bother, like why even bother
looking at them? If you have a dietary restriction or analergy.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
And I learned that. So now when I take clients
out to dinner, I don't even pick up the menu.
And you saved time. You saved that.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
That's so interesting.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yeah, do what do you like? What do you like?
Do you like the salmon? No?
Speaker 3 (29:34):
I don't fuck it, I don't, dude, just eat the food.
Just let's move, let's talk, let's engage us wisely.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Right, that's so funny. Yeah, I'm not exaggerating. It would
take me longer to order a pasta than it would
to buy an apartment, So I'll take that trade very
I care deeply about food and the foreplay of it,
but that's just a pat That's something I'm passionate about.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
That's very funny, though. What about now?
Speaker 1 (30:13):
So now people are locked in their homes because of
interest rates. I don't know how the pandemic was for
you personally, but you a person who like in the
stock market, you know, bets the dip and can like
play the volatility because most brokers have had their ass
is hand into them one way or the other in
the last couple of years. But if you're a person
who can like move like frogger with the market, I
(30:34):
don't know if your business has that ability, Yeah, a
little bit.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
I mean I as I spend a lot of time
in school, in history class, and what I've learned is
that history repeats itself time and time again. Every time
the market's great, it's never been better. Anytime the market's bad,
it's never been worse. Whether it's whether it's the saving
and loan crisis of ninety one, or the dot com
(30:57):
bubble or two thousand and eight, or Hurricane Sandy or
the pandemic. Right, it's unfortunately, we have minimal memories, and
I think that's I think that's a huge part due
to evolution. Like if you knew the pain you felt
or the fear, if you could really remember how scared
you were when you were broke that time, you wouldn't
(31:18):
be able to get out of bed, right, Like we don't.
We are not programmed to remember pain, right, We're programmed
to remember pleasure so that we can procreate and keep
the earth going in our own way, right, and that
that translates into business too. And so for me, like
COVID hit, New York City shut down, everyone was screaming
doom and gloom, end of the world. New York Times
(31:39):
was saying New York City's over and done with. I
was like, I think, and I went on like Fox
News in December twenty twenty and like, this is going
to be a w shape recovery, which means the market's
going to spike all the way down, which it did.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Stock market felt ten thousand points.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Everyone, Oh my god, everything's over, and then we're going
to rocket ship out of it, which we did in
twenty one and twenty two, and then we're going to
be like.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Holy moly, wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
We spent way too what's happening, what's happening, And then
we're in a rocket ship back down, which is what
this year has been in most markets, right. Tech markets
sell off, real estate market got tough, interest rates went high,
and now twenty twenty four, especially given the Fed's announcement
last week, is the last peak of that w and
we're coming out of it. And now that doesn't mean
(32:22):
that in twenty twenty nine it's not all going to
crash like it did in nineteen twenty nine. But I
think for at least the next couple of years, I'm
super bullish and excited, and so I've made big bets
that way. I mean, last December, everyone was saying the
end of crypto, crypto's over. Oh my god, everyone's stupid, all.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
These crypto people.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
Bitcoin dropped to sixteen thousand, and I went in hard, hard,
and because I missed it when it was at like
three or three thousand, and when it hard at sixteen.
And now we's I don't know, like forty five thousand
dollars and they're about to approve a bitcoin spot ETF
and so it's like you got to turn off the
news and turn off your phone and understand that.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Like you were saying, misery loves company people.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
I was thinking the same thing. It's exactly right what
you just said. When you said the clicker, I thought,
oh right, hate cells. That's where we are now, Misery
cells fascinating.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
I think ad dollars on news channels or on positive influencers.
You're not even turning on the news. If things are happy,
like what you can turned on and everyone's like, oh,
it's a nice, happy day to day, go to work,
enjoy your life like no one's watching it. So you
have to kind of propagate negativity, you know, and it's.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
It's fucked up, it's crazy. So if you can learn
how to tune that out and turn that off, things
are actually so much better than people make out.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Or use it and just realize it says more about
other people. I've started to have more compassion. I feel
like people must be really miserable, and I do attribute
some of it to the holidays, and so think about
how sad they must be if it makes them feel
better to be miserable and to criticize. You have a
four year old, I have a thirteen year old, and
it's helpful to tell kids like that they can use
it like fuel, like it really it isn't about them
(34:03):
what people are saying about them.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
So I think that's huge.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
That's such a great point, Like, you know, we learned
that and understand that you can.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
I have that. I have the ability for some reason.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Sometimes like someone says something so nasty and my first
reaction is like to smiles, like, wow, I really just
triggered that person.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
That means when I was.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Doing when I was in I think it was like
tenth grade, there was a bully in my school, right
who this is where I learned that, and the meanest
kid ever. Because I did theater. You would make fun,
you would call me every name under the sun. He
would like come up to me in class and flip
me behind my ears and like hit me. And you
(34:42):
know I was, you know, telling the whole school I
was was gay, and which is not a big deal,
but at the time when I was in tenth grade.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
You know I wasn't.
Speaker 4 (34:50):
Oh no, that was a big deal.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yeah, And you know it was tough.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
And then I remember, because we couldn't drive yet, I
think we were we were fifteen.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
I remember getting picked.
Speaker 3 (34:59):
Up school late and then driving home and on the
drive home his family, his dad's car was pulled over
and his dad was like screaming at him like out
of a movie and was slapping him in the face,
and the.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Kid was crying, crying, crying, And I have that image
is burned in my head of hurt people, hurt people.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
Wow, that's brilliant.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Wow, And so never forget that.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
So anytime anyone's ever mean or anything, I'm like you, Well,
one I get annoyed, but then I'm also like you,
and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Hurt people, hurt people. This is how this is. They
don't know another way to react to you, so they
do it the way that they were told to, which
is to be mean and to hurt you.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Right, Yeah, that's so crazy. That's so yeah, that's so true,
and I I do try. I was literally just talking
to Deddi s Richards about it. Is like you have
to just like use it as fuel. You have to
be like, wow, I really got that person lit up.
And you know, it's either it's either they are really
thinking about you and they hate you or they love you.
But in the middle is indifference. I means you're making
(36:03):
no impact whatsoever. So I'd rather I'd take the hate
over the indifference. I guess in general, what are the
biggest things going on now? Like what are the things
if someone's on a plane being like what are you
what are you working on? Like what would you say
besides like this apartment, that apartment, Like generally like another book,
another show? Like what are the big ticket items?
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Yeah, well, we I mean I started my own company
in twenty twenty and that was crazy. So, you know,
we run the real estate brokerage. We expanded to six
states this year. You know, we're about five hundred agents,
one hundred and fifteen staff members. We run an ed
tech business that's like Salesforce for sales training, that's B
(36:42):
to B and direct consumer as well. That's been super
wild and fun to watch that grow. And then we
have a production company for real estate. You know, I
like to stay with my within my niche. I think
the niche is key right, riches and niches, and so
all of those are growing. Next year, they're there's a
lot of big things happening. My third book comes out
(37:03):
in February. There is something that we made this year
that we shot that I can't talk about, but that'll
come out next year, which is super cool and just
very different and been.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
A lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
And I'm just excited about growth, and you know, I'm
excited for people. I think twenty twenty three was a
trying year for so many and I'm excited for that
to kind of be behind us and now use that
use twenty twenty three is that if it wasn't a
good year for you. Use it as fuel to make
twenty twenty four your fire. You know, it's like that quote. Yeah,
if you know, you know gasoline, like, if you know
(37:34):
how to use it, it can it can. It can
warm your house. Right, if you don't know how to
use it, it'll burn your house down.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
So use it, use it the right now you do
motivational speaking, I assume right you are.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
I used to do a lot more until I got
so busy, and that's hard.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
But I talked to salespeople all over the world. It's
Dubai and Abu Dhavi and Monaco and Australia and which
were nice, which were fun.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Yeah, I grew up on stage.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
It's like the one thing I can go back to
and step up on stage and like, oh, I'm kind
of home.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
Yeah, you're very, very like enlightening and positive and motivating.
I want to tell you something. If someone told me,
Noble told me. So many people have said to get
my real estate license because I bought you know, probably
in my life like ten to fifteen plate maybe not
even that many, but like ten twelve places if I
count to, maybe maybe fifteen.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
So I went online.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
I don't know which one it was in Connecticut, I think,
I don't remember if it was New York. And I
started doing the chapters and I wasn't gonna, like I
wanted to go to the class, and everyone's like you're
a loser, like you don't need to go sit in
a class like driving school.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
So I was like.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Fine, So in the car, I started the online thing
and then like every single chapter and I would read
through the whole thing like I was doing it right
because people said they kind of finagle it, and they don't,
they don't really pay attention and they try to take
the test at the end or I don't know what
their way is, but or someone else sits there in
front of it.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
I was really doing it.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
And at the end I would fail the quiz like
three times until it wouldn't let you do it again,
and then I would like reset, and then finally.
Speaker 4 (39:05):
I would pass the quiz.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
And Paul, my fiance, who's in real estate, that's his business.
He you know, develops as shopping centers, very successful and
you know, millions of square feet in real estate, and
he I was trying to get him to help me,
and he couldn't. We both were failing the quiz. I'm like,
we're fit. You're a fucking failure. You're in real estate.
We are I was on the cover of Forbes. I
can't do this dumb test. So we only got through
(39:28):
like a certain amount of chapters and I literally said
to him, I was like, you think Ryan, Sirhank could
like pass this test right now? Cold, Like, I just
want to give you the quizzes and see if you
could pass them.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
No, no, because they don't.
Speaker 4 (39:39):
You couldn't pass them.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
No, the quizzes don't.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
They're hard.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Yeah, it's like anything like, they don't. They don't test
you on anything you actually need to know. Like I
don't remember all the laws from the sixties that were
created for the board.
Speaker 4 (39:51):
There's this board, there's that board.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
There's how many days until And I'm such a dork
that I was like really paying attention, but I gave
I haven't finished at least. It's not like I'm to
get demoted, Like it doesn't expire.
Speaker 4 (40:01):
I can go back.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
But one day I'll get my real estate license. And
if you open in Connecticut, I can be a broker.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
We are open in Connecticutish ready, Yeah, Yeah, Florida is
the hardest one.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
I'm the broker record in Connectic can.
Speaker 4 (40:17):
Be harder than the one I talk because.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
It's hard because in Florida you guys to start dealing
with with with floodplanes and you know the state tests.
You know, like if you're taking it in in Connecticut,
you're like, what's what's the big deal in Florida? Like
they have to test you on meats and bounds and
you know, like ranch and farm and that's like.
Speaker 4 (40:34):
Me getting an MBA. I don't stop.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
I'm not ready for that. Okay, I'm not ready. I
have to get through. I have like twenty four more chapters.
I'm only through six.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
I have faith in you. You're a committed woman. You
will figure it out.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
I'm going to pass and we're going to we could
do a graduation ceremony. I will call you when I pass,
and then I will be a broker.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
Anyway. Yeah, awesome, Wow your responsibilities exactly. It was so
fun talking to you. I really appreciate you doing that.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Thanks for having me. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (41:01):
Have a happy holiday you too.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
You two h
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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