March 18, 2025 • 21 mins
When your date is chest-bumping the manager, it's time to get outta there.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
So this is where I get exasperated because it's the
type of story that I get exasperated about. But it's
too good a story to not tell. So I get
set up with a guy, and the pitch is very successful,
like a billionaire. There's like eight hundred billionaires in the country,
and somehow everybody knows one. So I just do the
(00:33):
math and mathe and matham, but THEMI and if someone
has a couple hundred million dollars and it doesn't matter
to me. I'm just letting you know that this person says,
this person's a billionaire.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I didn't see his fucking W two or network statement.
I am going to start doing that on my dates
from now on. But that he's good looking, he's tall,
he can keep up with you, he's fun. He's New
York and Miami. He's on his way to Miami. Now,
can you host poone leaving?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Can you stay the week?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
I said, I'm going back to see my daughter. She
doesn't know who I am. My daughter's in the Witness
Protection program. She's been studying, and honey Badger, don't give
a fuck. She told me. She told me last week
this would be a good time for you to go
to Miami. Everybody thought she was having a party.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
She wasn't.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
She's just in her room studying. She's very intense and
I love that, and it's so beautiful that she's so
intense about like doing well and she does the work.
But she basically I felt like I was a hooker
that the job was asking to leave. She was like,
it'd be a great week for you go to Miami,
Like you gonna give me a lot of cash. I
can fucking buy myself something pretty. So she pieced me
(01:40):
the fuck out. You didn't have to tell me twice.
There were skid marks. I was, I was out there,
goddamn door. We were on a carvel run on it
because she was studying, and we just took a break
to go to Carvell. We came home. We were on
the way in the car and that's when she told me.
We came home, the bikinis were bikini I was ready
to go. I had to do a podcast I think
the next day, and and and all of my work
(02:02):
obligations were interfering with my fucking peeling out.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
But I was out.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
I was outy five hundred so coming back, honey Badger
really don't give a fuck. I was shocking to me.
I was like getting homesick. I missed my dogs, I
missed my daughter. I was like super just like I
was over. I'm I'm a bird. I like the nest.
I don't like to be away too long.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I could. I get excited, I go, and then I'm like,
get me home.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
So now I'm distracted by guilt because I don't have
the dogs in my room.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Hold on, you're you're having like a real you might
You're gonna end up.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
We're gonna end up having to do podcasts in bed
because you're gonna be like I like the chaos, the unhinged.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Watch this.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Hold on, warning, you're gonna trigger warning, you're gonna hear jingles.
But I feel guilty. I've been home all day, I
was home all away all week, and I don't have
the babies.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Sorry, come on, come on, jingles, come on, babies. I'm sorry.
I feel guilty. I was away a week and then
I didn't have the babies.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
For Yeah, I'm potting right now. We're part of it.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
This is we're just doing a live This is a
different like unfiltered. This is like pod unplugged. But you guys, guys,
you guys.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
You can't talk.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
You gotta be quiet. You can't jingle. We got it's
called we're work. Mommy's at work and we're doing podcasts. Now,
lay down. We can't do we gotta we gotta settle
quiet on a set, sit down quite on the set.
The heavy breathing is a lot. You can't breathe like that.
We're doing a podcast. You were built for porn, Like, honestly,
(03:26):
you should be doing phone sex. The panting is extreme,
that's small. He's very neurotic. Everything scares him. He needs
like medication. Biggie's like a lump. They're so excited they're
staring at the pod. I literally need to take the picture.
It's so cute. Okay, So I stay an extra day
to meet this guy.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
She says he's so great. I stay an extra day.
It doesn't matter who she is.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
She's not getting blamed because what's about to be described
and ensue is not something she could have vetted or predicted, Okay,
because I don't think she like looked up psychopaths andymous
and saw his face. All right, So so I go
out to dinner and I dress cute. Thank god, I
didn't go crazy like I didn't like do too much glam,
(04:11):
and I wore a dress I've worn before, and I
I didn't actually feel like I looked my total best,
but it was fine.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I looked pretty enough. I looked pretty and.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
That that like to land of goddamn major, smart, successful
whale when I'm in rare air with the people that
I want to date. Because most people can't handle this
fucking circus. I was I should have put more my
back into it more, but whatever. So I sit down
and he got a take. Here's the first thing in
the plan making process. He he like it was giving
(04:45):
like Bill who has like a name tag on at
the office, Like in the plan making process, it was
a lot. It was like a row of clappy emojis,
Like I was like, I'm five minutes late. It was
like eight claps, like did you not fuck could you
miss emoji?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Class? Like what the fuck is that? Why? Eight slast
I'm five minutes late? Why? Okay? Fine?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
But that was on the heels of another one that
we're almost glad that I didn't end up with a
billionaire because I could. My friend when I told him
this story, I said, listen, if this guy wasn't touted
as good looking and rich and smart, let me tell you.
He sent me a dancy girl and dancy guy emoji.
(05:27):
The fuck is that? He goes, Oh my god, you
must like rant about this. I'm like, okay, but like
I can if I like marry the guy. But lo
and behold, I'm in my bed with the dogs, not unmarried.
So he sent me an emoji guy emoji girl dancing?
Why first of all, dear God, dear God, tell me
(05:49):
we're not going dancing cause I don't like big activities
on first dates. I don't I'm not on the Bachelor.
I don't want to go hang gliding. I don't want
to go to a sports game. I don't want to
do anything interest saying on the first date. I'd like
you to think on the most too. I don't want
to see a fucking art. I don't want to go
to the opera.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
I don't want to go. You have theater tickets, Good
for you, Mazzle. I don't want to go.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
There's one environment that I want to be in, and
it usually involves alcohol. I haven't been drinking as much,
but i'd like to know it's available. It involves food
and drink, and my ass parked. I'd like to be
able to like internally judge this person. I need a
quiet space. I don't need to be at the fucking bubbleship.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
What you guys are bored?
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Stay up here, just just commit to the bit. Come
on all right now, you guys, we're gonna scud the
day together. Come up here.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
We can't we can't be in and out. This is it,
this is what we're doing. We're in a Hodnist till
it's over.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Buckle up, fashion your seatbelts, put your emergency mask on
before others.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
And shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Okay, So I want to park my ass and internally
judge and just have the safe space to do that,
like I need, you know, I just I don't want
any like circus performers to distract me. I just would
like to like look and hear. And I also just
don't want like.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Do you like jazz?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I don't know what I feel about jazz, but I
feel deeply violated by the word tonight. So don't mention
any because because it's always like I'll plan a beautiful
night or I'll plan a special I don't want a
special night.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
I don't want McDonald's. I don't want a diner. But
I don't need special. I just need a night.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
We don't have to make all your dreams come true. Okay, nicely,
I'm single. So the man is there before I get there.
He looks nice, he looks attractive like and he's of
a certain age but is in his sixties. But he
looks attractive, and he's dressed cool, a little douche Miami dress,
(08:06):
but he's allowed to have his own style that it
doesn't have to like what I wear either. He's a person,
he's dressed like, he looks fine. I didn't look at
his shoes. I'll call him and ask him to send
me your shoes, even though he's in the witness protection program. Now,
so I we have a nice chat. We almost forget
the menus there. He's smart, he's interesting, he's not funny,
(08:30):
but he's cute and I like him enough. At this point,
it's giving second date. He wire call me Gabby in Miami,
which looks like the Ivy in LA but has I
guess I wouldn't know what the food was really like.
We'll get to that soon. Different food staff is fine.
(08:54):
The irony of his story is that the service wasn't
that great, but we can get into that. That happens
a decent amount in Miami. So he asks me what
I'm interested in. I was like, I'm allergic to fish,
just regular fish. I didn't really care. I like, when
the man feels empowered to order, it's giving female energy.
(09:15):
It's giving you being control, just a little you know,
fairy waif that just like was transported in here on
a feather, you know, like I'm just so delicate and
just can save me.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
So he asks what I like?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I said that, and I'd given a glance because don't worry.
Nothing's coming to that table that I don't want to
come to that table. It's just the Jedi mind. It's
just the mind control program. So I said, yeah, I
like a salad. And then the other thing. No, And
then we end up with the gem salad, zucchini cucumber
strips on it, A nice, nice slice of the cucumber.
They did, by the way, to split. This is key
to split. And he says what about the ribbi? And
(09:57):
I said great? He said, you like it sliced? He says,
slice six times it's important, and it's sliced, it's important.
So I like it s lice too, but I didn't
say it six times. So charred medium rare, okay, So
it's like gonna have that good crispy on the outside.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
But it's medium rare.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
And I call that like medium pink, like I always clarify,
like the word rare is scary, but I don't want
a medium. It's like medium like pink, and medium is pink,
but like medium pink is like it's in between medium rare,
medium and medium. So salad comes completely uneventful and boring salad.
And we had our fork and our knife and our utensils,
(10:32):
and they did not bring serving utensils for the salad.
And he said, can you bring us serving pieces? And
he had said before like a plate and then share
plates whatever, and he asked them to bring serving pieces.
I don't think they ever did. They didn't, but we
(10:54):
ate this that we manage with our forks. Now the
ribbi comes and it's a giant ribbi as it is,
and it's on a board, a cutting board, and there
he says there are no serving pieces, and like he's
noticing that this is a theme in this restaurant, which
is annoying.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
It is annoying. I have a fork.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
It's like we just and because then it's communal and
it's I don't know, like, so we have another problem.
So I serve myself some pieces from the end because
they're more well done. Because what we I realize immediately
is that the mill is rare. It is bloody rare.
And I don't want to send it back because I
don't care, and I'm gonna have two bytes of it,
(11:32):
three bytes of it.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
I'm other potatoes and I don't care.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
And he asks me a question. I don't know what
the question was, like, not like how was it? Because
if he said how was I wouldn't say it's rare,
But like he pushes on it, like is it is
it good? Is it cooked right or something. I'm like,
it's a little rare, but it's okay. It's like, we'll
send it back, send it back, send it back. I'm
like it's okay. It's like they and and then he
goes and they didn't give us bring us the serving utensils.
(11:56):
Like one thing is wrong because it's medium rare. But
now we're kits and sinking and he's piling it on.
They didn't bring the serving utensils, and I didn't remember
that they hadn't eventually brought them for the other thing.
I wasn't paying attention, but it was like a recurring theme.
So he got he goes, he goes, so we'll send
it back. We're gonna send it back. So he had
(12:18):
said sorry, he had said once, we're going to send
it back. So then he said something to me, but
is it good.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Or it was weird?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
He was asking me how it was, but he wanted
to send it back, and I was like, it's actually fine.
I could just eat the n piece. It's not a problem.
I'm not gonna eat that much anyway. So in that
when when that correspondence happens, he proceeds to give me
more meat. He's like, I'll do it for you, and
he seems a little nervous. This is the second time
it's someone's been nervous when it's serving me, Like they
like want to do that overall, but like they get nervous,
they like shakey. So for some reason he gives me
(12:47):
the middle raw pieces. I'm the one who said it
was cooked weird. Now he's giving me the middle like
the most middle, and then he says, we're we're sending
let's send it, We're sending it back. So I take
the two pieces he's just given me and put it
back in the middle. Was sending it back.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
It's like you don't keep food at all.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Because you're sending back because there are probably some sickos
that like want to not pay for something and they
send it back.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
But we were.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Getting more, mate, or you want more, like now they're
giving me a whole.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I don't know what he was thinking.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
So I put it back and he goes, no, no, no, no,
that's yours, and this is the communal plate. Like okay, dad,
you just said we're sending it back, so no one's
ever eating this again, first of all, and second of
like he was weird about it for himself. I go,
you said we're sending it back. I'm not going to
keep the food like fuck off, like for fuck off weirdo.
But anyway, no problem. And there was an orneriness to
(13:38):
him that I could feel ramping up based on the utensils.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
He was fixated on that. And then now this.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
So now the server comes over and she has an accent.
There are a lot of people from cube By that
work in Miami, so she could be Cuban. I don't
know if she's Cuban. In fact, I don't know. He
later said that, but again that's what he would say,
not knowing, he would make an assumption. So she comes
over and she's like hi, like kind of like, how
may I help you?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And I I.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Think he was trying to He was like, the steak
is not cooked, but like we lost the plot on
that because I think you just said that. He's like,
and you didn't bring the utensils before? And she and
in fairness, she did have a little bit of like
a a face on her, like you know what I mean,
like a little face, like a little indignant. He's like, right,
you didn't. You didn't bring the utensils, the serving pieces.
(14:40):
And she's like okay, because he's coming at her, and
she's like, well, we don't do that, and I think
she thinks that he means you have to serve for us.
She's like, well, we don't do that, and he's like
and I'm realizing the language, the language barrier, but it
doesn't really matter based on what's it's burying the lead,
based on what's happening. So he's like, right, well, we
(15:02):
asked you before. Like so now he's kitchen sinking like
he's he's now like got a case going. He's like,
we'll be asked you before he didn't bring them, and
now why didn't you bring them? Why didn't you bring them?
And she's getting a little belligerent too and standing around
for it, which anybody else might have walked away or
just been like I'll bring them, but like she was
wanting to fight too because he was being so rude
to her, and that's where it was wrong. But it's
(15:23):
still none of this matters. I'm just giving you the
actual facts of what happened. And so because you may
have an opinion, like you will have an opady. So
she's like he's like, well, yeah, we'll bring it. So
she's like, well, okay, well I could bring him. He goes,
so do it because she's standing there, and she is
standing but he's like, so do it. And it was
(15:43):
like whoa, And it was like whoa, and it was
just it was just giving, like you work for me,
and like it just was like it lost. But this
is where it doesn't matter what the content is the
delivery they you know, And I did a TikTok about this,
and I never mentioned this part because this part is important.
Like she was not the best server I've ever had
(16:04):
in my life. You know, she would have gotten like
a normal tip, and I'm an amazing tipper. She was fine,
and she was standing around like kind of baiting him.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
But it does it matter? He's like, so do it.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
So now he's like heated and his voice is raised,
and you can never treat staff like this, and also
what they go through and being a waitress, like the
whole thing. So now the manager comes over, a tall
man and he's like also a little coming at like
he's like, so, what's the problem, because he's coming in
to protect his staff and he sees there's a problem
(16:37):
in the restaurant. And this guy's like, well, you never
brought us utensils and she didn't bring it and I
don't know why.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
And we asked him.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
He's like, well, we don't do that, and it was
like again, the same serving thing. And she was like
and I wasn't interjecting because I was. It wasn't that
I was above my pay grade. I'm not even near
my pay grade. I was horrified. So and we're in
like a part public place. There are people everywhere. So
he's like, what's going on? How can I help you?
And he's like, well, shit, they didn't bring the ut
to and he's yelling at the guy didn't bring the
(17:08):
utentals and you didn't whatever. I mean, we're not fucking farmers.
And I don't know if he said fucking I think
he did, but it's like I'm always very literal about
what I say. We're not farmers, he said, and so
the guy is like, well, I don't, you know, also
discussing it, and then you can sort of hear that
the guy kind the manager kind of wants to like
know what went on, which he should have just been
(17:30):
like he was like he's like, I'm just trying to
figure out what happened, and like I don't think that
that was the time figuring out what happened.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
It's like kind of what how can I help you? Like,
I just want to know how I can help you.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
So note to anybody in restaurants, like we don't need
to go revisit history, we don't need to stay there
to fight it out, Like how can I help you?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
But so he's like, I'm just trying, and.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
It was like a little belabored and by that token
like I understand frustration, I really do. And so this
guy was like, we're not far and he's standing up
like their body to body, and this guy was like,
I mean, this is fucking bullshit. Get up, we're leaving,
like to me, like we've been married twenty years. I
(18:09):
was like, so he's a get up, we're leaving, get
let's go. Then let's go. We're leaving, and the guys
like I guess, insisting that he has to pay. But
I'm like, I'm blacked out, and so I just while
they're talking, and after he say get up, we're leaving,
they're still arguing. I stand up and I walk out.
(18:30):
I sneak out, like I don't I'm just like this
is a good distraction. And I walk out and I'm
by like a little alley hiding because what I don't
want is this guy finding me. I don't want to
get into it. I don't want to explain himself. There's
no turning back from this, is no coming back from this,
like the tall like the ability to not the fact
that you can't control yourself on even like forget that
(18:51):
he was terrible to the staff, like, don't forget that
that's the headline, but like put that to the side
for a second. That he can't even be self aware
enough to ay, he's very well aware that I'm a
public person, so that is not the point. But he's
making a scene. He's very well aware that he's on
a first date. Now, I later found out he liked
me and had a good time, So if you like me,
this is like, it was insane.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
It did not.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Warrant this hysteria in any circumstance. So I'm now calling
my driver, and my driver is coming and I get
in and I'm shocked, and of course I said to
call the woman to say like wow, like, and I
call the restaurant to talk to the manager ril to
just say I'm really And as I was leaving, I
(19:38):
saw the girl, the waitress, and I said, I'm out
with him. I'm sorry, like, and I called up the
manager to be like and he's like, I'm really sorry
that you had to see that, and I'm like, listen,
and my guys, like the manager said, he treated us
like slaves, Like there's no reason only my daughter can
treat me like a slave. And I said, listen, I'm
really sorry. It doesn't reflect me. And we went over
(19:59):
like the thing the serving people, which doesn't matter to me,
That didn't matter, that was not on my list of
things I gave a shit about because the restaurant didn't
handle it great from either person. And the food was fine, fine,
salad was bland, and the atmosphere was nice. But like,
that's not the point. You do not treat staff like that,
(20:21):
and that is a cautionary tale about my future life
with that person.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Like it was sick.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
And I'm saying to young women in particular, if you
feel any kind of way about anything, men too, If
you feel any way about anything that's weird, like something's off,
something makes you feel uncomfortable, get the fuck out of there.
You forget that this person is a stranger that you
(20:51):
did not know an hour ago. Could happen on the
second date, and maybe they're less of a stranger. Get
the fuck out. But like, this person is a stranger,
You don't know them, you don't owe them anything. Whoever
you know in common, you're worried about what they're gonna think.
It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. You go with your
best instinct and you get the fuck out of there,
So this is where I get exasperated because it's the
type of story that I get exasperated about. But it's
too good a story to not tell. So I get
set up with a guy, and the pitch is very successful,
like a billionaire. There's like eight hundred billionaires in the country,
and somehow everybody knows one. So I just do the
(00:33):
math and mathe and matham, but THEMI and if someone
has a couple hundred million dollars and it doesn't matter
to me. I'm just letting you know that this person says,
this person's a billionaire.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I didn't see his fucking W two or network statement.
I am going to start doing that on my dates
from now on. But that he's good looking, he's tall,
he can keep up with you, he's fun. He's New
York and Miami. He's on his way to Miami. Now,
can you host poone leaving?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Can you stay the week?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
I said, I'm going back to see my daughter. She
doesn't know who I am. My daughter's in the Witness
Protection program. She's been studying, and honey Badger, don't give
a fuck. She told me. She told me last week
this would be a good time for you to go
to Miami. Everybody thought she was having a party.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
She wasn't.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
She's just in her room studying. She's very intense and
I love that, and it's so beautiful that she's so
intense about like doing well and she does the work.
But she basically I felt like I was a hooker
that the job was asking to leave. She was like,
it'd be a great week for you go to Miami,
Like you gonna give me a lot of cash. I
can fucking buy myself something pretty. So she pieced me
(01:40):
the fuck out. You didn't have to tell me twice.
There were skid marks. I was, I was out there,
goddamn door. We were on a carvel run on it
because she was studying, and we just took a break
to go to Carvell. We came home. We were on
the way in the car and that's when she told me.
We came home, the bikinis were bikini I was ready
to go. I had to do a podcast I think
the next day, and and and all of my work
(02:02):
obligations were interfering with my fucking peeling out.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
But I was out.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
I was outy five hundred so coming back, honey Badger
really don't give a fuck. I was shocking to me.
I was like getting homesick. I missed my dogs, I
missed my daughter. I was like super just like I
was over. I'm I'm a bird. I like the nest.
I don't like to be away too long.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I could. I get excited, I go, and then I'm like,
get me home.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
So now I'm distracted by guilt because I don't have
the dogs in my room.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Hold on, you're you're having like a real you might
You're gonna end up.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
We're gonna end up having to do podcasts in bed
because you're gonna be like I like the chaos, the unhinged.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Watch this.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Hold on, warning, you're gonna trigger warning, you're gonna hear jingles.
But I feel guilty. I've been home all day, I
was home all away all week, and I don't have
the babies.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Sorry, come on, come on, jingles, come on, babies. I'm sorry.
I feel guilty. I was away a week and then
I didn't have the babies.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
For Yeah, I'm potting right now. We're part of it.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
This is we're just doing a live This is a
different like unfiltered. This is like pod unplugged. But you guys, guys,
you guys.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
You can't talk.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
You gotta be quiet. You can't jingle. We got it's
called we're work. Mommy's at work and we're doing podcasts. Now,
lay down. We can't do we gotta we gotta settle
quiet on a set, sit down quite on the set.
The heavy breathing is a lot. You can't breathe like that.
We're doing a podcast. You were built for porn, Like, honestly,
(03:26):
you should be doing phone sex. The panting is extreme,
that's small. He's very neurotic. Everything scares him. He needs
like medication. Biggie's like a lump. They're so excited they're
staring at the pod. I literally need to take the picture.
It's so cute. Okay, So I stay an extra day
to meet this guy.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
She says he's so great. I stay an extra day.
It doesn't matter who she is.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
She's not getting blamed because what's about to be described
and ensue is not something she could have vetted or predicted, Okay,
because I don't think she like looked up psychopaths andymous
and saw his face. All right, So so I go
out to dinner and I dress cute. Thank god, I
didn't go crazy like I didn't like do too much glam,
(04:11):
and I wore a dress I've worn before, and I
I didn't actually feel like I looked my total best,
but it was fine.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I looked pretty enough. I looked pretty and.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
That that like to land of goddamn major, smart, successful
whale when I'm in rare air with the people that
I want to date. Because most people can't handle this
fucking circus. I was I should have put more my
back into it more, but whatever. So I sit down
and he got a take. Here's the first thing in
the plan making process. He he like it was giving
(04:45):
like Bill who has like a name tag on at
the office, Like in the plan making process, it was
a lot. It was like a row of clappy emojis,
Like I was like, I'm five minutes late. It was
like eight claps, like did you not fuck could you
miss emoji?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Class? Like what the fuck is that? Why? Eight slast
I'm five minutes late? Why? Okay? Fine?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
But that was on the heels of another one that
we're almost glad that I didn't end up with a
billionaire because I could. My friend when I told him
this story, I said, listen, if this guy wasn't touted
as good looking and rich and smart, let me tell you.
He sent me a dancy girl and dancy guy emoji.
(05:27):
The fuck is that? He goes, Oh my god, you
must like rant about this. I'm like, okay, but like
I can if I like marry the guy. But lo
and behold, I'm in my bed with the dogs, not unmarried.
So he sent me an emoji guy emoji girl dancing?
Why first of all, dear God, dear God, tell me
(05:49):
we're not going dancing cause I don't like big activities
on first dates. I don't I'm not on the Bachelor.
I don't want to go hang gliding. I don't want
to go to a sports game. I don't want to
do anything interest saying on the first date. I'd like
you to think on the most too. I don't want
to see a fucking art. I don't want to go
to the opera.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
I don't want to go. You have theater tickets, Good
for you, Mazzle. I don't want to go.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
There's one environment that I want to be in, and
it usually involves alcohol. I haven't been drinking as much,
but i'd like to know it's available. It involves food
and drink, and my ass parked. I'd like to be
able to like internally judge this person. I need a
quiet space. I don't need to be at the fucking bubbleship.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
What you guys are bored?
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Stay up here, just just commit to the bit. Come
on all right now, you guys, we're gonna scud the
day together. Come up here.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
We can't we can't be in and out. This is it,
this is what we're doing. We're in a Hodnist till
it's over.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Buckle up, fashion your seatbelts, put your emergency mask on
before others.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
And shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Okay, So I want to park my ass and internally
judge and just have the safe space to do that,
like I need, you know, I just I don't want
any like circus performers to distract me. I just would
like to like look and hear. And I also just
don't want like.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Do you like jazz?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I don't know what I feel about jazz, but I
feel deeply violated by the word tonight. So don't mention
any because because it's always like I'll plan a beautiful
night or I'll plan a special I don't want a
special night.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
I don't want McDonald's. I don't want a diner. But
I don't need special. I just need a night.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
We don't have to make all your dreams come true. Okay, nicely,
I'm single. So the man is there before I get there.
He looks nice, he looks attractive like and he's of
a certain age but is in his sixties. But he
looks attractive, and he's dressed cool, a little douche Miami dress,
(08:06):
but he's allowed to have his own style that it
doesn't have to like what I wear either. He's a person,
he's dressed like, he looks fine. I didn't look at
his shoes. I'll call him and ask him to send
me your shoes, even though he's in the witness protection program. Now,
so I we have a nice chat. We almost forget
the menus there. He's smart, he's interesting, he's not funny,
(08:30):
but he's cute and I like him enough. At this point,
it's giving second date. He wire call me Gabby in Miami,
which looks like the Ivy in LA but has I
guess I wouldn't know what the food was really like.
We'll get to that soon. Different food staff is fine.
(08:54):
The irony of his story is that the service wasn't
that great, but we can get into that. That happens
a decent amount in Miami. So he asks me what
I'm interested in. I was like, I'm allergic to fish,
just regular fish. I didn't really care. I like, when
the man feels empowered to order, it's giving female energy.
(09:15):
It's giving you being control, just a little you know,
fairy waif that just like was transported in here on
a feather, you know, like I'm just so delicate and
just can save me.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
So he asks what I like?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I said that, and I'd given a glance because don't worry.
Nothing's coming to that table that I don't want to
come to that table. It's just the Jedi mind. It's
just the mind control program. So I said, yeah, I
like a salad. And then the other thing. No, And
then we end up with the gem salad, zucchini cucumber
strips on it, A nice, nice slice of the cucumber.
They did, by the way, to split. This is key
to split. And he says what about the ribbi? And
(09:57):
I said great? He said, you like it sliced? He says,
slice six times it's important, and it's sliced, it's important.
So I like it s lice too, but I didn't
say it six times. So charred medium rare, okay, So
it's like gonna have that good crispy on the outside.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
But it's medium rare.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
And I call that like medium pink, like I always clarify,
like the word rare is scary, but I don't want
a medium. It's like medium like pink, and medium is pink,
but like medium pink is like it's in between medium rare,
medium and medium. So salad comes completely uneventful and boring salad.
And we had our fork and our knife and our utensils,
(10:32):
and they did not bring serving utensils for the salad.
And he said, can you bring us serving pieces? And
he had said before like a plate and then share
plates whatever, and he asked them to bring serving pieces.
I don't think they ever did. They didn't, but we
(10:54):
ate this that we manage with our forks. Now the
ribbi comes and it's a giant ribbi as it is,
and it's on a board, a cutting board, and there
he says there are no serving pieces, and like he's
noticing that this is a theme in this restaurant, which
is annoying.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
It is annoying. I have a fork.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
It's like we just and because then it's communal and
it's I don't know, like, so we have another problem.
So I serve myself some pieces from the end because
they're more well done. Because what we I realize immediately
is that the mill is rare. It is bloody rare.
And I don't want to send it back because I
don't care, and I'm gonna have two bytes of it,
(11:32):
three bytes of it.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
I'm other potatoes and I don't care.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
And he asks me a question. I don't know what
the question was, like, not like how was it? Because
if he said how was I wouldn't say it's rare,
But like he pushes on it, like is it is
it good? Is it cooked right or something. I'm like,
it's a little rare, but it's okay. It's like, we'll
send it back, send it back, send it back. I'm
like it's okay. It's like they and and then he
goes and they didn't give us bring us the serving utensils.
(11:56):
Like one thing is wrong because it's medium rare. But
now we're kits and sinking and he's piling it on.
They didn't bring the serving utensils, and I didn't remember
that they hadn't eventually brought them for the other thing.
I wasn't paying attention, but it was like a recurring theme.
So he got he goes, he goes, so we'll send
it back. We're gonna send it back. So he had
(12:18):
said sorry, he had said once, we're going to send
it back. So then he said something to me, but
is it good.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Or it was weird?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
He was asking me how it was, but he wanted
to send it back, and I was like, it's actually fine.
I could just eat the n piece. It's not a problem.
I'm not gonna eat that much anyway. So in that
when when that correspondence happens, he proceeds to give me
more meat. He's like, I'll do it for you, and
he seems a little nervous. This is the second time
it's someone's been nervous when it's serving me, Like they
like want to do that overall, but like they get nervous,
they like shakey. So for some reason he gives me
(12:47):
the middle raw pieces. I'm the one who said it
was cooked weird. Now he's giving me the middle like
the most middle, and then he says, we're we're sending
let's send it, We're sending it back. So I take
the two pieces he's just given me and put it
back in the middle. Was sending it back.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
It's like you don't keep food at all.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Because you're sending back because there are probably some sickos
that like want to not pay for something and they
send it back.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
But we were.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Getting more, mate, or you want more, like now they're
giving me a whole.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I don't know what he was thinking.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
So I put it back and he goes, no, no, no, no,
that's yours, and this is the communal plate. Like okay, dad,
you just said we're sending it back, so no one's
ever eating this again, first of all, and second of
like he was weird about it for himself. I go,
you said we're sending it back. I'm not going to
keep the food like fuck off, like for fuck off weirdo.
But anyway, no problem. And there was an orneriness to
(13:38):
him that I could feel ramping up based on the utensils.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
He was fixated on that. And then now this.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
So now the server comes over and she has an accent.
There are a lot of people from cube By that
work in Miami, so she could be Cuban. I don't
know if she's Cuban. In fact, I don't know. He
later said that, but again that's what he would say,
not knowing, he would make an assumption. So she comes
over and she's like hi, like kind of like, how
may I help you?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And I I.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Think he was trying to He was like, the steak
is not cooked, but like we lost the plot on
that because I think you just said that. He's like,
and you didn't bring the utensils before? And she and
in fairness, she did have a little bit of like
a a face on her, like you know what I mean,
like a little face, like a little indignant. He's like, right,
you didn't. You didn't bring the utensils, the serving pieces.
(14:40):
And she's like okay, because he's coming at her, and
she's like, well, we don't do that, and I think
she thinks that he means you have to serve for us.
She's like, well, we don't do that, and he's like
and I'm realizing the language, the language barrier, but it
doesn't really matter based on what's it's burying the lead,
based on what's happening. So he's like, right, well, we
(15:02):
asked you before. Like so now he's kitchen sinking like
he's he's now like got a case going. He's like,
we'll be asked you before he didn't bring them, and
now why didn't you bring them? Why didn't you bring them?
And she's getting a little belligerent too and standing around
for it, which anybody else might have walked away or
just been like I'll bring them, but like she was
wanting to fight too because he was being so rude
to her, and that's where it was wrong. But it's
(15:23):
still none of this matters. I'm just giving you the
actual facts of what happened. And so because you may
have an opinion, like you will have an opady. So
she's like he's like, well, yeah, we'll bring it. So
she's like, well, okay, well I could bring him. He goes,
so do it because she's standing there, and she is
standing but he's like, so do it. And it was
(15:43):
like whoa, And it was like whoa, and it was
just it was just giving, like you work for me,
and like it just was like it lost. But this
is where it doesn't matter what the content is the
delivery they you know, And I did a TikTok about this,
and I never mentioned this part because this part is important.
Like she was not the best server I've ever had
(16:04):
in my life. You know, she would have gotten like
a normal tip, and I'm an amazing tipper. She was fine,
and she was standing around like kind of baiting him.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
But it does it matter? He's like, so do it.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
So now he's like heated and his voice is raised,
and you can never treat staff like this, and also
what they go through and being a waitress, like the
whole thing. So now the manager comes over, a tall
man and he's like also a little coming at like
he's like, so, what's the problem, because he's coming in
to protect his staff and he sees there's a problem
(16:37):
in the restaurant. And this guy's like, well, you never
brought us utensils and she didn't bring it and I
don't know why.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
And we asked him.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
He's like, well, we don't do that, and it was
like again, the same serving thing. And she was like
and I wasn't interjecting because I was. It wasn't that
I was above my pay grade. I'm not even near
my pay grade. I was horrified. So and we're in
like a part public place. There are people everywhere. So
he's like, what's going on? How can I help you?
And he's like, well, shit, they didn't bring the ut
to and he's yelling at the guy didn't bring the
(17:08):
utentals and you didn't whatever. I mean, we're not fucking farmers.
And I don't know if he said fucking I think
he did, but it's like I'm always very literal about
what I say. We're not farmers, he said, and so
the guy is like, well, I don't, you know, also
discussing it, and then you can sort of hear that
the guy kind the manager kind of wants to like
know what went on, which he should have just been
(17:30):
like he was like he's like, I'm just trying to
figure out what happened, and like I don't think that
that was the time figuring out what happened.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
It's like kind of what how can I help you? Like,
I just want to know how I can help you.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
So note to anybody in restaurants, like we don't need
to go revisit history, we don't need to stay there
to fight it out, Like how can I help you?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
But so he's like, I'm just trying, and.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
It was like a little belabored and by that token
like I understand frustration, I really do. And so this
guy was like, we're not far and he's standing up
like their body to body, and this guy was like,
I mean, this is fucking bullshit. Get up, we're leaving,
like to me, like we've been married twenty years. I
(18:09):
was like, so he's a get up, we're leaving, get
let's go. Then let's go. We're leaving, and the guys
like I guess, insisting that he has to pay. But
I'm like, I'm blacked out, and so I just while
they're talking, and after he say get up, we're leaving,
they're still arguing. I stand up and I walk out.
(18:30):
I sneak out, like I don't I'm just like this
is a good distraction. And I walk out and I'm
by like a little alley hiding because what I don't
want is this guy finding me. I don't want to
get into it. I don't want to explain himself. There's
no turning back from this, is no coming back from this,
like the tall like the ability to not the fact
that you can't control yourself on even like forget that
(18:51):
he was terrible to the staff, like, don't forget that
that's the headline, but like put that to the side
for a second. That he can't even be self aware
enough to ay, he's very well aware that I'm a
public person, so that is not the point. But he's
making a scene. He's very well aware that he's on
a first date. Now, I later found out he liked
me and had a good time, So if you like me,
this is like, it was insane.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
It did not.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Warrant this hysteria in any circumstance. So I'm now calling
my driver, and my driver is coming and I get
in and I'm shocked, and of course I said to
call the woman to say like wow, like, and I
call the restaurant to talk to the manager ril to
just say I'm really And as I was leaving, I
(19:38):
saw the girl, the waitress, and I said, I'm out
with him. I'm sorry, like, and I called up the
manager to be like and he's like, I'm really sorry
that you had to see that, and I'm like, listen,
and my guys, like the manager said, he treated us
like slaves, Like there's no reason only my daughter can
treat me like a slave. And I said, listen, I'm
really sorry. It doesn't reflect me. And we went over
(19:59):
like the thing the serving people, which doesn't matter to me,
That didn't matter, that was not on my list of
things I gave a shit about because the restaurant didn't
handle it great from either person. And the food was fine, fine,
salad was bland, and the atmosphere was nice. But like,
that's not the point. You do not treat staff like that,
(20:21):
and that is a cautionary tale about my future life
with that person.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Like it was sick.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
And I'm saying to young women in particular, if you
feel any kind of way about anything, men too, If
you feel any way about anything that's weird, like something's off,
something makes you feel uncomfortable, get the fuck out of there.
You forget that this person is a stranger that you
(20:51):
did not know an hour ago. Could happen on the
second date, and maybe they're less of a stranger. Get
the fuck out. But like, this person is a stranger,
You don't know them, you don't owe them anything. Whoever
you know in common, you're worried about what they're gonna think.
It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. You go with your
best instinct and you get the fuck out of there,
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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