May 13, 2021 • 53 mins
Katie Lowes and Adam Shapiro welcomed their daughter Vera Fay to the world on November 22, 2020. In this episode, Katie invites her husband Adam and her doula Rebecca Benenati back to Katie’s Crib for a healing discussion about her delivery and the 9 months leading up to it. Through laughter and a few tears, the three recount the many obstacles brought on by COVID-19 and Katie learns all that was happening behind the scenes between Rebecca and Adam in order to best support her.
Plus Katie shares a very special moment in delivery that no one saw coming!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio
in partnership with I Heart Radio. So right after that happened,
you got me on my side, and it was taking
a little bit of time for the epidural to really take.
I was having a lot of pain in one hip,
and then Rebecca the pain subsided, and Rebecca put me
in something I will never forget. You put me in
something called Goddess Pose. Explain what that is. It's actually
(00:24):
thrown thrown position. Yeah, I will never forget it, forget
exactly what it was called. You guys, thank you so
much for coming back to Katie's Crib. This is a very,
(00:45):
very exciting episode. I have to two of the greatest
loves of my life here for you today. I thought,
how could we go into season four of Katie's Crib
and not give you Vera Shapiro's birth story, what at
and who else but the two people who were in
the room with me, my husband Adam Shapiro. Let's all
(01:07):
give a nice round of applause, and then also the
dula that you know and love from season one. I
think the first episode of Katie's Crib. Yeah, I think
the one the only Rebecca Bennonatti is here. And let
me just tell you very quickly, I'm not giving Adam
Shapiro's credits. You can look him up on IMDb or
Shappy Pretzel dot com. But Rebecca Bennonatti has been in
(01:31):
the business of health and fitness since show Wow, Gosh, Rebecca,
you look amazing. I can't. She has an extensive experience
in yoga, personal training, massage, a Roman therapy, meditation. Rebecca
is a certified DULA. She's studied with Dulas of North
America International approved DULA trainers Anna Paula Marquel and Judy Chapman.
She currently teaches the Comfort Measures segment of DUELA Trainings
(01:53):
at Beanie Birth and Sherman Oaks. She's also a wellness
advocate for Dotera Essential Oils, which is the greatest. She's
the mother of two. She's I mean, there's just no
one word to define what you are to my family's life.
So thank you for being on Katie's crib and guys
hill of that, thank you. Do you guys even remember
(02:16):
Vera's birth because she's four months old and it's gone.
It was so beautiful, Don't get me wrong, it was
literally the greatest day of my life. But it was
boring in terms of anything traumatic or something that might
stick out when you're in the birthing season that Rebecca
is currently in. But also we were right before the
(02:39):
first holiday at the end of the pandemic year. You
had a lot of worry and concern about holidays We're
going to go because your family was coming. So there
was really um. You know, there was a lot to
keep me personally from not remembering all the details because
for me, the birth itself was what it was, but
(03:00):
it was everything leading up to it. It was a pandemic,
and what you were going through and what you were anxiety,
that's what I really remember. And so I think this
is actually going to be very healing to talk about
this because, as you both know, I've been wanting to
have this conversation for a while birth so we could connect.
This is our postpartum visits. Yeah, okay, So when you
(03:22):
have a duelah, you also a lot of people as
part of the package, you get a postpart and visit
where you really like Assassin, go through how the birth
was for you and all of that. And me Adam
and Rebecca have not yet had time to schedule ours,
so you guys are all getting to hear it in
real time. Let's start with you, Adam, how is the
pregnancy for you? Wow? I don't know. It was weird.
(03:48):
I guess you know. I was one of the lucky
few baby daddies to be able to spend twenty four
seven with my wife for her entire pregnant. And see,
I mean how many guys can say that, right? I
didn't go on a trip for business nothing, so I
got to see the entire year pregnancy. It was a lot.
(04:10):
It was a lot to handle. I think we were
both very freaked out about the pandemic and how it
was gonna if I get the virus and give it
to Katie and then if she gets to the baby.
We we just we still don't really know exactly all
the details behind that. Um, well, we do. We know
that babies are mostly fine, thank god. Knock on wood.
(04:31):
I mean, none of us are doctors who don't quote us.
But what we didn't know is Adam and I got
pregnant around March eight, so literally a week before shut down.
And what was scary about finding out that we were
pregnant so early on in the pandemic was yes to
your thoughts at him, was that no one knew how
COVID affected pregnant women. No one knew how covid affected
(04:53):
fetuses early on, or how it could affect the pregnancy,
what drugs you could take if you got it. It
was the baby safe in the womb. I mean, it
was total fear and anxiety, and Adam, really you were
the rock, I would say, because you were not as
scared as I was. You weren't dealing with the chemical
(05:14):
and hormonal and balances of pregnancy. That's true, so I
guess that would be the name of the game for
this pregnancy. For me was just basically being there for you.
I don't know what else I would do even if
it wasn't a pandemic. That's probably my job, but this
was gig and I'm misnavigating the pregnancy during a pandemic.
(05:34):
You also were figuring out how to have your toddler
home every single day all day. Nowhere no outlets for
his energy. So Adam is definitely you were definitely the
rock in this pregnancy. The way you were holding it
all down for hormones and toddlers and starting your business
and all the things that were going on in your household.
(05:54):
Is amazing what you did. Yes. Yeah, Also, to everyone
who's listening doesn't know, Adam started a pretzel business during
the pandemic called Shappy Pretzel. It's still funny to even
hear that sentence. Adam started a pretzel business during the pandemic.
It's like Peter Piper picked a peck of It's a
(06:16):
pretzel pop up. It's a pandemic pretzel pop up. So
he was really also having this incredible joyous thing happening
during the pandemic, where I was feeling very isolated, feeling
very anxious about getting sick, feeling very anxious about having Albi,
who's a challenging toddler home and not able to go
(06:37):
to school and not able to go to jungle gyms
and all that stuff. Adam was off doing pretzels in
a safe way. But we were having different pandemic experiences.
And then, Rebecca, how would you explain my pregnancy? Phone calls, texts,
FaceTime freak outs to you during the pandemic. I remember
the first call I got was from Adam. It was
(06:58):
a tex saying can I talk to you? And and yeah,
that was a start and that's when I knew, oh,
Katie might be pregnant. So sure enough, Adam and I
got on the phone and he said, we're pregnant, and
Katie's really freaking out, not necessarily about the pregnancy at all,
but because we were in the beginnings of the pandemic.
(07:20):
So that was really the start of all the phone calls.
Was that first phone call I had with you. You
were letting me know that you were freaking out, You
were nervous, you were anxious, and we were all trying
to figure out what we were supposed to be doing
to be safe. All the rest of the text messages,
aside from doing prenatal yoga with me and being able
to see you on camera knowing that you were actually
(07:41):
okay and doing something to take care of yourself, the
text messages and phone calls were very anxiety written. That
was the one word that I would use in all
honesty and out of respect for what you went through.
You were super anxious. I wanted to ask Adam, was
there any sing that you struggled with around Vera's birth,
(08:04):
like having Albie by yourself and and and trying to
cover for me when I was having anxiety attacks. Yeah,
I think the hardest thing for me was when we
were pregnant with Albie. It was just the two of us,
and this was a completely different thing where I had
to keep Albie entertained and away from you when you
(08:25):
were feeling really low, which was a lot of the time.
And so I think that was probably the most challenging
thing for me, was handling Albi during this whole thing.
And but some really cool things came out of that.
Because we cooked a lot, and I was cooking so much,
I had to involve Albie and we got like a
stool for him to stand on all the cooks and
(08:45):
I got little kids cooking things. And that's what inspired
me to make a soft pretzel for Albie, and then
that turned into a company. And not to mention, you know,
for the first forty days of your pregnancy, I think
I set up a goal to make a little movie
with Albi every day. I was just trying to find
ways of involving Albion things that we're gonna I was
(09:10):
going to enjoy doing as well, and not just do
like outbe kid activities, make movies, make meals and things
like that. That was probably the most challenging part about
it all, and then not being around people to have
done all of this in quarantine was the hardest thing.
So that was very and I'm just personally learning how
(09:32):
to ask for help when I need it. That's just
been such a huge thing for me in my life.
And luckily Rebecca is like the easiest person. For hell,
it's you know, you don't feel awkward, and I know
that I can text her like I did in the
in the beginning, just saying hey, I need to talk
to you, and She's like, give me two minutes and
then I'll give you from midnight till six am. You
(09:54):
know what I mean, Like whatever you need. So she
and I got to talk in the middle of the
night while you were sleeping sleep crying, and we were
in the kitchen having that conversation, and I think that
was huge. I remember giving Adam a FaceTime lesson and
how to do raiky on you to get you super
calm and relaxed one night, and again Adam stepped right
(10:17):
in and right up and was like, what am I doing?
What is this called? I said, don't just put your
hands here and leave them there? Am I a racky
master now? And not quite but you nailed it. It's
interesting because technology can funk with the vibe of what
(10:37):
you're trying to do, especially what Rebecca does with pregnancy
and and yoga, and it's there's a screen and it's bright.
And she coached me through before while even walking into
the room with you, Katie, like how to turn the
lights off, dip my phone down, put the phone somewhere
that wasn't in your eyes, and that she was just
going to give me physical thumbs up. And also what
(10:59):
was amazing is that you didn't even ask questions. You
just did exactly what I asked you to do. And
I was so willing to, of course jump over with
masks on and do whatever I needed to do to
do the rate theme myself, but we were all too
scared and we couldn't. We were supposed to be around
each other at all. Even playing the edge like that
felt scary to me to offer to do that, but
(11:21):
it was. It was such a desperate thing that I
needed to have happened for you. I really think looking back,
whatever chemical, hormonal and balances were happening with me, plus
the pandemic, plus the isolation, plus the toddler at home
was just a very perfect storm. I was not handling
it well. And I face time Rebecca that night and
(11:41):
I said, I'm doing really badly. I want to check
myself into Cedars now. I can't do this anymore. I
can't be pregnant anymore. I'm so scared that something's going
to happen to me or the baby. And I'm so
scared of being home all the time and not seeing people.
And um, you talked me out of, like, don't check
into the hospital. Nothing is wrong. Adam can put his
(12:02):
hand on your chest and we're going to have lavender
scent on his hands and you're going to breathe in
and Adam is going to put his hands here and
I sobbed. Adam, have you ever seen me sad like that?
Just the week before we were going to open on Broadway.
I think that was the only that I had to
talk to you off of checking yourself into a hospital.
(12:23):
So true, jeez, Louise. Okay for context, just we opened
on Broadway and they gave us seven days of rehearsal
to sing and dance across the Broadway stage in our
entire family and friends was flying in to see us perform,
and we had never done a run of the show,
not once I and sang and dance in front of
people in fifteen years. Anyway, Yeah, that was another meltdown. Okay,
(12:44):
so those two and and also are you adding another one? Well,
we were both opening on Broadway that same night, so
I couldn't be there for you. So that was a
very different conversation that we had, which was like, Katie,
you gotta get your ship together. I don't have time
for this. We're doing this together. I'm going to be
(13:07):
on the stage with you, So if I have to
improve the rest of the musical, I can do that,
but I need you to like hold it together until
we get up on that stage. This one was a
very different situation where we were not both that a
baby and I could be there for because I was
literally home doing nothing for the entire first six months
(13:29):
of your pregnancy. So that was a unique experience for sure.
I had not seen you like that. Oh yeah, it
was the most amount of crying that I have experienced,
I have to to say, because the anxiety was that high.
I want to highlight that for a moment because for
women who cry through their entire pregnancy, you're not alone.
(13:53):
You don't hear of it very often. And this is
something that's so important to to get out is that
oftentimes when we're talking about pregnant, see people elaborate on
the one thing that was really hard for them, and
then it sounds just like you're highlighting the thing that
was really hard for you and not really giving it
the credit that it actually deserved. Because this was real.
(14:13):
This was not being fabricated. This was not a stretched
out to to make it dramatic and make it sound like, oh,
I cried every day. You literally cried every day. You
are anxious the entire time. I really really struggled this pregnancy,
and a huge regret I have now that I've been
on the other side and got diagnosed with postpartum depression
(14:35):
and anxiety and seek help. I've heard this from so
many other women now, which is they all wish they
had gotten help sooner, and look, it happened how it
was supposed to happen. But for anyone listening who is
feeling major anxiety during their pregnancy for whatever reason, or
major major, major sadness during your pregnancy for whatever reason,
(14:55):
you can talk to your o B, to a therapist
or a DULA or whatever, start to really figure out
and make sure that you're taking care of yourself, because
I don't think I had to have struggled like that,
now that I know. I think if it wasn't a pandemic,
you would have been out there. I just think it
was the combination of being so scared of leaving the
(15:16):
house and getting the virus that you didn't feel like
you had that option of getting together with people and
talking about this, and so you just decided to kind
of isolate and just get through it. But also just
to paint the setting. I mean Los Angeles in this time,
there were forty cases a day. At one I mean
(15:36):
I was literally reading an article, which again I stopped
reading all the news, but there was an article that
was like, if you are stepping out of your house,
you are putting yourself in danger. There was a little
election going on too. There was a little election going on.
I mean, it was fucking high stress like. But you
feel bad admitting that in all honesty, because I know
there are people who are pregnant listening to this or
(15:58):
have been to pregnancy who had and suffered far more
with far less than I have been very privileged to
have so I definitely also felt bad because I'm like,
what why am I feeling this way? I have a
roof over my head, I have my health, I have food,
I have love, I have family, support and friends. Like
there are people you can't help, but think of all
(16:19):
the women who come before you that have nothing you
know and have no system of support both financially mentally,
and I feel I would constantly feel bad, like why
do I feel this anxious and this scared and this sad?
When I have I'm safe and I'm okay. But sometimes
during pregnancy and post pregnancy, it doesn't have It's not rational,
(16:41):
it's not it's can you speak to that a little bit, Rebecca, Well,
it's just that that's the first thing I was going
to interrupt with is to say, it's not rational, but
we don't know that because it feels really real. And
that's where you do have to reach out, as hard
as it is to ask for help. There's just nothing
to do to make sense of that because it doesn't
(17:02):
make sense, but yet it feels like it makes sense,
and it can then start to make you feel crazy,
and then it starts to affect everybody around you, your
other children, your husband, any other work things you have
going on, and so it is I think this is
the other great thing. I feel like I'm highlighting Adam
a lot and this podcast episode, but seriously, this is
(17:22):
where Adam again was so incredible. When it did feel
like it was spiraling out and he couldn't do anything else,
he would reach out to me and I would give
him one thing to do or one thing to say,
or suggest some idea of something random. And we already
knew that you were seeing a therapist, so you did
have that support already. Um and your doctor. You have
(17:46):
a great relationship with your doctor. So aside from that
professional help that you were already getting, what was left
for me to do as your dula and your friend
was to support Adam because he had to keep going
to support you, but also to do what what you did,
which was to make sure that you were getting any
time outside in the sun in your backyard, getting some
(18:06):
fresh air, some vitamin D, making sure that you were eating.
And these were all things I didn't even want to
ask you because I didn't want any more overwhelm on
you at all. After you even gave birth, I really
felt so protective of you because of the amount of
anxiety you had to the point of me not sharing
things with you personally that I wouldn't typically share with
(18:28):
both of you, but such protection because of the amount
of anxiety. It was, thank you, what a ship show.
Oh my. There are so many things that happened during
this pregnancy that were so anxiety inducing, and like I remember,
like what during the pregnancy where you and I wanted
to go out and protest with Black Lives Matter. We
(18:49):
wanted to go and join the protests. They were right
outside of our house, and we had to have a
conversation of like what if we go to the protests
and we get the virus? Or what if we go
to the protests and the police open up fire on
us with like Robert bullets. We can't put you in
that position as a pregnant woman, but we were feeling
(19:11):
like super terrible about not going out there. That's an
actual conversation that we had during your pregnancy. Like, it
was just so many levels, and it felt like every
month some sort of new challenge to navigate, and a
lot of times our answer was let's just stay home.
(19:32):
And you know that had its own issues. What's so
crazy about this? And hearing about how stress full and
anxious I was this entire pregnancy. My rocks were Rebecca
and Adam, and honestly, that prenatal yoga class, it's like
being in my body felt really good and felt like
(19:52):
a nice break that I always allowed myself no matter what.
The birth itself, which I want to get into now,
was magic, and that's what no one saw coming. A
(20:15):
few days before the birth, I was in Rebecca's yoga class,
and at the beginning of the yoga class, a lot
of the moms go around and share, and I started
sobbing because I said, I am so terrified of this birth.
Has been a record breaking year in terms of dumpster fires,
ship storms for the world, and I am really scared
(20:40):
that I'm going to go into this birth and we're
not going to see something terrible coming. Well, and and
with Albie, the Las Vegas massacre happened during his birth,
we were so ready for like, okay, well, you know,
even if we make it to the hospital with nothing,
like what's going to happen? What do we what text
message we're going to get every left turn, something so
(21:04):
sad and horrible is happening, And like, how am I
going to skirt that of course something's gonna get sucked up.
And here's what I didn't see coming. My birth was easier, lovelier, shorter,
like I already had a magical, wonderful the birth I
wanted with my son. And I feel so blessed to
(21:26):
say that, because I think there are a lot of
women that don't get to say that. And I was like,
I don't feel like I'm lucky enough to get that again, guys,
I got that again with fucking flying colors. Like my
birth with Vera was so wonderful. It was an induction. Again.
I had such a great experience with I'll be inducing
(21:48):
that I chose to induce Vera. You had a very
clear vision at that point when you knew you were
getting close, and you had decided that you wanted the
induction your vision. And I really believe that what women
say as an affirmation or as a mantra, or just
something to support themselves to get through to the day
(22:09):
of labor and delivery, whatever they say can often manifest.
And you were saying, do you remember what you were saying?
Over and over? What was I saying? You were saying,
I just want to be holding my daughter at the
Thanksgiving dinner table with my family that you said that
so many times. Her due date was Thanksgiving day, So
(22:30):
my options were they weren't going to let me go
much more than my do date because I'm an old hag,
but I'm a geriatric magazine, so they weren't gonna let
me go. And her due date was My parents were
here and my brother and Meg, and that was my pod.
And I was like, I'm either going to spend Thanksgiving
its cedars and have Rebecca work and my pediatrician work
(22:53):
and my obie work, or I'm going to induce a
few days before I'm going to be home. All I
wanted was a sucking sweet potato pie with fucking marshmallows
all over it, my daughter breastfeeding at my boob, and
my family. Like, I just wanted to be home. I
didn't want to be in a hospital during COVID and
(23:13):
so that was really your right, That was the Montres saying,
and that was really my reason for inducing. I don't
know if I would have made that choice had I
not had a great experience inducing ALBI, but I did.
The difference here was is that I had even less
of an induction augmentation because when I showed up at
the hospital I had at ten pm appointment slot at CEDARS,
(23:34):
I was already four centimeters dilated and contractions were one
to two minutes apart, and I didn't even know you
were faced and I was seventy of this Now. I
think that happened because the day before Adams shut down pretzels,
which I was like, way to just shut down pretzels
(23:55):
the day before the induction date. I was like, are
you going to take off a few days before the
induction and he was like, I don't know, I'm gonna
be like working pretzels, like less than twenty four hours
to the induction time, right at him. Yeah, it was
anything to get me out of the house, you know,
whether that was pretzels or just helping someone move into
an apartment or driving multiple people to the airport. I
(24:16):
would have pretty much done anything to stay just a
healthy distance away from you during those couple of days
and just on text and ready for you, but trying
to keep my energy as positive and as flowing as
possible because it was a dark household during those days
and I wanted to make sure that I just needed
to be there to help you when you're feeling sad.
(24:38):
I feel really sad, and so I felt like it
was really important to keep my mo joke going so
I could be really positive and strong for you. Although
it might sound like I was just trying to stay
away from you, I think it was a very whatever
you needed. It worked. It was a very conscious effort
that I was like, I don't want to stop everything
days before the birth. I kind of want to keep
(24:58):
the flow going. The pretzel was his joy, which I love,
and that's why the business guys shappy Pretzel dot com
um any who the minute you pulled in and shappy
Pretzel was done at six pm on Friday before her
before the induction date, my mucus plug came out, which
never happened with Albi, and I was like, what the
(25:19):
hell is that? And it's literally like when you google
image mucus plug. It was like a bloody booger toilet
do it. And I texted Rebecca and she's like, oh
my god, this is great. Your body is doing it.
And every time I pee there was like a little
bit like that brown, sort of spotty blood that would
be like the end of a period or something. Adam
(25:40):
this is where Katie's crib really really gets into it.
And I know. So the mucus plug is out, and
I'm like, oh my god, I have an induction day tomorrow,
but my body is sort of doing it anyway. And
I felt like garbage, and I was like, this feels right.
I had this thing called this salad at Kote Restaurant
onto Ango, which is this famous salad in l A
(26:02):
that really says that if you have the salad and
you will go into labor within twenty four hours. I
did have the salad the day before, and I'm convinced
it's because cast Royal is in the dressing. Yes it
is the cast royal and Balsama vinegar combination. Yeah, it
doesn't work for everybody, but it seemed to have helped
you for sure. So mucus plug show up to the
(26:22):
ten pm induction, They do the COVID test, they do
the heplock. They say, oh my god, I thought I
was going to get the fully balloon again, which is
a lovely device I had had with Albi, which is
a nice sort of circus animal balloon that they shove
into your vagina and they blow it up very slowly
over time. And it gets you from one centimeter to
(26:43):
four centimeters. But they checked me and when I showed
up for the induction, I was already at four and
I sobbed because I didn't have to get the fully balloon.
Thanks so much. It was a happy cry though, and
I was very familiar with the different types of crying
at this point. I was like, very happy to see
you crying about the not having to get the fully balloon.
(27:04):
That was Ai. That was a big step in the
right direction that day. Then you guys, tell the what
happened Adam after the four centimeters no fully balloon. I
think they gave me a teeny bit of protocon to
like jump start and it shifted. Oh. Then she broke
her own water. That's what happened. Your water. Your water
broke at one am. Oh my god. And I checked
(27:26):
in at ten guys, and by the time everything was
hooked up and checked and everything was like eleven thirty.
My water broke it one She broke it herself. A
lot of times in an induction. You can say this record,
but you'll they'll come in with like a sewing needle.
H We're like a knitting that's what I mean. Yeah,
(27:50):
well kind yeah, and they will burst your water for you.
But she did it on her own. I felt, oh,
I remember what it was. I just remembered it was.
I felt like someone had punched me in my bum
hole from the inside. You're welcome, guys. All of a sudden,
(28:10):
when they say it's a lot of liquid, it is
a you. It is a lot of liquid. People like
you're on these we we we we pads that you
would use for like potty training a dog inside, and
it is endless amounts of fluids. It's so gross. I
don't like it. I'm not into it. Like but it
feels like a nice release, doesn't Its like a nice relief.
(28:35):
She did that on her own. And then what happened
right after your water broke? You got your epidural? No,
that's I can be as supportive as possible, but if
there's one thing I need to know is a ten
minute alert for when the epidural starts? And why is that?
Adam do not like needles. I don't like to see
the needle. I certainly don't like to see the needle
(28:56):
going into anything. Adams a faint to y'all. Adam is
a fainter. But at that point, I wasn't there. Actually,
I hadn't gotten there yet. And so did you end
up supporting her during that? Okay, I said, somebody let
me know where that door. Guys come in. I'm just
gonna go take a little walk. It was what three
(29:16):
in the morning, it was. I don't know what I did,
but I just got out of there for a few minutes. Well,
because it was a pandemic, you couldn't go anywhere. You
weren't allowed in the hall, So you probably hung out
in the bathroom as my guests. Because you couldn't go
anywhere that I did, they weren't letting you go out
of the room. Don't go to the bathroom. They weren't
(29:37):
letting us out of the room at all. I think
you just hung out in the bathroom. Just check my
Instagram or something like that. I don't like that. Once
my water broke, the contractions really really picked up and
(29:57):
they were painful. Like I did not like what was
going on. I'm like one of those where I'm like,
I do want to feel the contractions and I want
to feel how amazing it is that my body is
doing it. And I felt all that, and then I'm
also like Okay, I don't like this anymore. I wanted
to stop, you know, like that's me. Every woman makes
their own choice about how long they want to do
that for, if they want to see it all the
(30:18):
way through. But I called for the epidural, and I
remember having the contractions while it takes about thirty minutes
to place the epidural. So you're having contractions while they're
doing it. For people listening who are pregnant, you're I'm
holding the hands of the nurse and I'm saying I'm
being very communicative, like okay, okay, I feel another one
(30:40):
coming on. I feel another one coming on, And they say, Okay,
we're gonna stop doing the work. We're gonna stop placing it.
Just let us know when it starts to taper off.
And it would come, the contractions would come, and then
I would say, okay, it's tapering off. It's tapering off,
and then they would get back to work. And I
would do that while I would not move my body
and just take all the pain out on the lovely
hands of the nurse. I was squeezing the ship out
(31:01):
of them. And then slowly but surely, relief starts to
calm and the pain starts to fade away, and I think, Rebecca,
is that when you came. Yeah, I was there right
after that happened. So right after that happened, you got
me on my side, and it was taking a little
bit of time for the epidural to really take. I
was having a lot of pain in one hip, and
(31:22):
then Rebecca the pain subsided, and Rebecca put me in
something I will never forget. You put me in something
called goddess pose. Explain what that is. It's actually thrown. Yeah,
I will never forget it. Forget exactly what I felt
like a goddess, as you should. It's a goddess thrown
(31:42):
like position, and basically it's it's very simple. All it
is is the back of the hospital bed gets all
the way brought upright, the foot end of the hospital
bed drops down, and we prop your arms up like
you've got arm rest, like you're sitting in a throne.
And gravity just tends to really help so much in
that position to bring baby down to get more activity.
(32:04):
And so we did leave you there for quite a while.
That position worked well for you. Oh my god, throne
was amazing. I felt like I was sitting like I
would be in a meditation, see like it felt very meditative.
I remember my eyes being shut. I remember feeling very
connected to Vera, like we're in the final throes of this.
I love you, We've got this. I was saying all
(32:26):
of these things to her, and the pain had gone.
How long was I in throne? We typically leave you
in each position for about twenty to thirty minutes, depending
We like to keep moving you around when you have
an epidural, So I'm guessing were you were there maybe
thirty minutes. Sometimes we leave you there a little longer.
Babies tolerating it okay, as she was, so you might
(32:47):
have been there for a while before we put you
back onto your side. And the other reason that position
is great is because it levels out the pressure on
each side of your pelvits, so whatever pain you were having,
your body could get to a very centered, anatomical, neutral,
if you will, kind of position. And then somebody checked
me and said it's time to call the doctor. At
(33:08):
what time? I don't even know, guys, just to give
you reference, the whole thing was three hours. I didn't
even have time to vibe out the room. You know,
this was such a different birthing experience, and with Albi,
we had lights up and the so Nos playing and
we knew exactly the song we wanted queued up when
Albi came out. I mean, Vera's birth was so fast.
(33:29):
The three hours. It was like, Okay, now we're doing this,
Now we're doing this. Now it's this part. Now it's
this part. And I'm like, what, We're already at this part?
Like I couldn't even the thirty minutes and Throne pose
was the only time I felt labor. Everything else was
just like quickly checking things off the list, and it
was like, holy sh it, we're already at this part.
We're already at seven, were already at eight, We're already
(33:50):
at ten, were already a face, We're already Like it
just felt like a speeding train. You had a list
and you just kept saying to me, all right, just
four more ship shows to go, and then we're all
through this. And then you're like, You're like, we got
through eight of the ship shows and I'm fine, and
now we just have three more ship shows before. So
(34:14):
embarrassed for all of your people listening, I'm this is
so embarrassing. That's why I'm so glad you're both here
because I have to be held accountable for the person
I was throughout this, and I can't even like this
is insane. So I'm such a list maker. I'm such
a type a person that I was like, if everything
(34:34):
goes according to my plan, which we can't plan anything,
but you said there was gonna be there's eight things
that I'm cool with, and then there's like ten things
that suck. COVID test brain scratcher was like one then
it would be like heplock getting inserted is to test.
Oh fuck you, Adam. Adam was like asking me all
(34:56):
these fucking questions. During my COVID test. I was filling
out paperwork, which I'm terrible at doing. For some reason,
I could I could answer any question whatever, but when
it comes to paperwork, I just like, I don't know
any of these answers. And I kept asking Katie like, Hey,
what's the last four of your social or whatever the
thing was. Yeah, he was asked me the last four
of my social while the COVID thing was literally scratching
(35:20):
my brain like above my eyes. I looked up from
the paper and I didn't realize Katie was in the
middle of a brain scratcher, and she was like, Adam,
just letting me do my thing and you fell out
the paperwork and I was like, got it, cool, got it.
But all the ship shows was like I think, I
don't remember, there was like eight or ten of them,
and it was like COVID test hep block um uh
(35:42):
fully balloon fully balloon potosin water, breaking epidural making it
to ten centimeters, pushing baby out right. So it was
like eight ship shows or something like that. The eighth
show checklist for pregnancy for la my ridiculous then is
(36:05):
I am so embarrassed that we are sharing this with
you listeners. But for some reason, that was how my
brain had to organize all the scary things I needed
to face to get the baby there. And what was
so insane and what no one saw coming was that
what I didn't want to add to the ship show
was like last minute C section, vacuum, heartbeat dropping, Like
(36:27):
I knew because of this podcast. I know a lot
of information, and I know that there are other options
on this ship show list, Okay, like I knew, and
if they needed to happen in order for Vera and
me to get out safely, of course we would have
checked those off too, but from what I knew and
from the pregnancy and labor I had had with Albie,
(36:49):
those were the ship shows I had known before, and
I was hoping for those ship shows again and for
not any new ship shows. The good news was with
Vera that the ship shows were going way faster and
the fooling balloon was already taken off the table. Like, yeah,
but that is so funny that that is what I
called them and that was my list. I'm so fucking mortified. Okay, well,
(37:12):
you should actually be really proud that you're getting that
out there, because women shouldn't only think that they're supposed
to feel glorious and happy and you know, maternal and
all in their divine feminine during pregnancy and childbirth. It
can be so for sure, Yeah, you are. You needed
it to be done. I felt it in Throne. I did.
(37:34):
I felt that connection. I know someplace else that you
might have been feeling it. I don't know what you
were feeling, but there was a moment that I wrote
down in our text exchanges when I was checking in
with you guys the next day, and I acknowledged how
you and Adam I feel emotional right now, how are
(37:54):
you and Adam locked eyes for a moment and you
started crying, And I wrote to you, guys, and I said,
I loved that moment where you and Adam locked eyes.
There are beautiful things in all of the ship shows,
the moments in between the ship shows that are real
beautiful bonding connected and certainly for me being with you
(38:15):
a second time, like being with a family for a
second time and seeing and knowing that Albi's little sister
was going to be born. And there's a lot of
beautiful little moments too in between the ship show. But
you I also in my follow up text to you
acknowledge you were acknowledging you said, I cannot believe how
much I cried during this whole process. I cried so much,
(38:36):
And yeah, I cried so much. It was so it
was just it was just like in all honesty, it
was just a real struggle for me for whatever reasons,
all the reasons, it just really was. And her labor
was not. It was not a physical struggle for me.
(38:59):
Once I got through the ship show list and what
was left was the pushing and the sewing up. But
like once I got to ten centimeters in a face, which,
by the way, again two and a half hours later.
This is going so fast, and my only respite was
just that thirty minute meditation, which was glorious. And then
they said, okay, you're ready to push, Adam Rebecca, how
(39:20):
many times did I push? And what was it like?
I don't remember, maybe six times and I was gonna
I think it was about maybe six push number I
had in my head, and Rebecca said, don't scrunch your face,
which was the best reminder ever, because I was wasting
(39:43):
energy by scrunching my face and instead of pushing all
of my energy down to my vagina and butt. And
Adam was up by my side. Rebecca had one leg,
the nurse had the other leg, and my oh B
was in between my legs. And what was so amazing
about COVID is that was it was it's a very
small team right now that he's even allowed to be there.
(40:04):
Um and Adam, I remember you whispering in my ear,
like one more you've got this something like that, right,
do you remember that? I was like, this is happening
way faster than with Albie. I was really confident that
the baby was going to come out in in a
minute or two. And I could see more than you
could see, so I knew that at one point too.
(40:25):
So it was nice to be able to tell you
this is going to happen right now. I know that
it was happening right now. Yeah. And then my Obi said,
which is the coolest one in my life, which we
never discussed and was not part of my birth plan,
but wow, I didn't even know it was an option.
My Obi says to me, grab or grab or grab her,
and Vera was halfway out right, Rebecca, Yeah, she said,
(40:47):
reached down and pull your baby up. Yeah, and she
I felt with my own hands my daughter. Oh my god,
I'm gonna get emotional, but I felt my daughter leave
my body and bring her up to my chest and
I looked down at her. I mean, I was like,
it was such a metaphor. I mean, it was such
a like it was like this pregnancy it was. She
(41:08):
my doctor said, grab her, grab her, And my initial
reaction was fear um, like I had been feeling the
whole time. And I just like locked eyes with her
and put my hands underneath her little arms and felt
the second half of her body leave me, and then
threw her onto my own chest, and it was the
coolest thing I have ever done in my life and
(41:31):
probably will be the coolest thing I ever do in
my whole life. Um, and then she was here. I
was so out of body, Like, do you guys remember
were we crying? Like? What was it? I don't even remember.
We can guarantee you were crying. Adam might have had
some tears, and I think I probably was crying too.
I'm in love with your whole family. I get emotional
(41:54):
when I'm really connected to the people i'm with, So
I'm certain that I was crying. And also what you
had been through and the pandemic and all the if
I could even be with you, and the fact that
we were actually able to kind of until a couple
of weeks before, weren't even allowed in the room. You
were doing a lot of zoom virtual. But I'm pretty clients. Yes,
(42:15):
I'm pretty sure I was crying too. I was kind
of mind blown. I was not expecting to watch Katie
pull the baby out of herself. I was pretty ready
for this it's all to happen. And then when that
curveball happened, I think I was silent for a good
five minutes. After that kind of processing what I just witnessed.
(42:35):
And she was also we were thrown because she was
like eight pounds six ounces. She was like a big,
beautiful round baby. And and also for you guys listening,
like what used to be my huge first fear with
Albie was the stitch up. If you do tear, and
I have with both babies, not a big tear, but
little ones. My o B gets to work on that,
(42:57):
like in the minute after you meet your baby, so
you literally don't give a shit, like your baby just
came out of your vagina, your baby's on your chest,
if all has gone okay, and they immediately just get
to work doing the quick like suitures and the stitches,
so you do not care. And because I had an evadual,
I didn't feel anything. I don't know if you don't
(43:18):
have an avidual, if you don't feel it, probably because
you're just so much love meeting your child for the
first time. You're so distracted. What do I don't know? Ish, Well,
you have to get a shot, right, like they'll give
you a little shot in some numbing spray. But yes,
you definitely feel that if there's no epidural a little bit.
So we meet our daughter. It happened in no time
(43:40):
at all, and I feel just so like the moral
of the story being like God, Yes, was an unexpected
year and even unexpected and how positive and glorious and
magical VIA's birth was. You did it. You got to
the Thanksgiving table. We had a good half hour at
(44:03):
that table. What say yes? Because just keep it yeah,
like keeping it real. What I had been working towards
so much in the pregnancy was just get Vera here,
and as soon as she gets here. I had had
other friends that were pregnant during the pandemic alongside with me,
and they had all told me that once the baby
was here, that their anxiety and and fears diminished basically
(44:27):
down to zero. And that's what I was hoping for,
that I just had to make it cross the finish
slide of bringing her here. And what I slowly over
the next four to six weeks realized after Vera had
been here was that my experience took a one eight
from my friends experiences, and my anxiety and depression got
worse instead of better. And that's when we knew I
had to get more help. And Rebecca again was one
(44:52):
of my first text and jumped in, giving me a
plethora of other moms who had been diagnosed with postpartum
depression and anxiety, who were on medication or not on medication,
or had been doing different things, so that I had
other moms who were ahead of me that I could
talk to and just ahead of you, like their measure
just kicked in a week prior two weeks fire. It
(45:14):
was a run of that at that time, probably because
of the pandemic, but who knows, yes, and also Rebecca
being like me, being like, I think something's wrong. I'm
thinking about zoloft, and Rebecca being like here all the
moms I know that have been diagnosed, supposed to our inpression,
who are on zoloft, who are breastfeeding, who are and
(45:35):
I'm going to put you in touch with them so
you can ask them a billion questions about their experience
and blah blah blah, and so really you've been our
dula for for life. And as you can tell, I
think you can both attest since getting help and Vera
being here, I am doing much better. What do you
think at him? Yes? Yes, yeah, happy? Sure, enjoying motherhood,
(46:00):
enjoying your family, enjoying seeing Albi bond with his little
sister and enjoying watching all of her little, brand new
baby changes to develop into who she is. You would
have been missing that. That's a really good reason to
get support because it goes by very fast, and also
to enjoy right, like you said, enjoying motherhood. But also
(46:21):
for women who are listening, I get this question a lot,
like if you're really anxious and mentally struggling during your pregnancy,
how does that affect the baby? And here's what I
can tell you. I have a four month old who
is the least anxious, chillist, best sleeping, joyous, smiley baby.
(46:43):
So I don't know if it's because I was so
anxious and fucked up her pregnancy, but I joke around
saying like fate, God, whatever you want to call it.
She knew what the world was that she was being
born into and what her mother could handle. And so
Vera is very I hate to say the word e
(47:05):
a s y because I'm scared to knock gone wood everywhere.
But you're listening. You guys, get me, You get me? Um?
What else? Do you guys have any other last tips
or pieces of advice for our audience? Oh, I'll go
first breastfeeding. If you are going to try to breastfeed.
(47:26):
A lot of times the birth is traumatic for a
baby and a big change, and so they encourage a
baby to go right to the nipple right like after um.
All great, okay, after childbirth, And Vera was screaming at
my breast and would not take to it very easily.
And I was already freaking out because as you guys
(47:49):
know who've listened to Katie's cribin listening to the breastfeeding
episode with Linda Hannah eleactation consultant, you would know that
I had a really hard time breastfeeding Albae and my
nipples fell off. So I was already freaking out. But
it only took a few days and she's a champion
breastfeeder and it all went fine, perfect, perfect. Yeah, So
that's to anyone listening, just know if breastfeeding is hard,
(48:12):
even in the first try, the second try, the third
try in the hospital delivery room, or over the next
few days in the hospital or when you first get home,
that's okay. Even with a second baby. Vera had to
learn how to do it, and it had been two
years since I had to do it, and I had
to relearn how to do it. I had like forgotten
how to hold a new born and breastfeed, like I
(48:33):
didn't remember football holder. And I was like, funk that
I'm not looking it up Like I breastfed for a year,
I'm an expert. No, I had to relearn all over again.
H I mentioned this earlier. A lot of highlighting of
Adam during this and it makes me think in general
about the importance of honoring and highlighting the support people,
(48:54):
whether it's a husband, another partner. I've recently supported some
single women who don't have anybody, so I was that person.
But to really just highlight an honor the people that
are standing alongside the women in labor that are doing
the hardest thing going through this emotional roller coaster in
a pandemic. Adam, you were a role model for how
(49:17):
to be a support person. You didn't get many breaks.
I know that because I kept checking in with you.
Did you didn't get a lot of breaks and um
and you you stayed the course. You were there all
the way through. God, this whole podcast is making me
really want to have a date night look out. It's
like podcasts over Adam and me in the bedroom in
(49:38):
ten minutes. Wow, Rebecca said to me early on in
the thing, do something for Katie that's just so different,
and get her out. You can't get her out of
the house, but just find a place in the backyard
that you haven't sat in together. And so that's our
date night in the in his art check, in the garage,
his idea. I put all those candles in the garage
and music, and I was like, Katie, I need you
(49:59):
to come side, and you were like, no, I don't
want to go outside. I just want to cry. And
then I got and the day was awesome. And even
though it was only fifty fifteen minutes, maybe twenty minutes
we were out there, I think you were like, Okay,
this was super sweet and I loved it, and thank you,
and here's a kiss. I gotta go to bed. But
even those twenty minutes we both still remember. I think
(50:24):
it definitely is a testament to the power of Okay,
you don't have a babysitter and a whole night to
have a huge date night and see a show and
see dinner, have dinner at a fancy restaurant. It's a
testament to what just five minutes the difference five minutes
give me Adam and Rebecca. I want to thank you
(50:45):
guys for being there for me through the whole ship show.
I want to thank Rebecca to thank you and we
love you so much. Oh you guys, I love you
so much. Any amount of time to ever get with
either of you, both of you, any of you in
your household is just precious to me. Um. I was
just I was listening to you guys earlier, and I
(51:06):
was thinking, gosh, I should have dueled them before their
first night on Broadway. I should have something to like
walk them through. I could have done like break you
through the phone or something. But I'm actually a really
good point shows. Yeah, a Broadway is an amazing idea.
I just I love you both so much and I
(51:29):
support you always in anything that you do. And it
was my honor to be there for both births of
your beautiful children. Oh my god, I feel so lucky.
And also we have not This is like the official
postpartum visit that now I can finally close your file,
close the file file on the Shapiro family for now,
(51:51):
uh forever. That's a close unless we get a new
dog in like ten years or a bird or a
fish or a turtle or whatever the kiddo's on. I'm
just like, I can't even love you, Katie. I love
you so much. There are no words to say. Thank
(52:14):
you guys for listening to Katie's Crib. I want to
hear from you. You guys were in season four. What
do you want to talk about? What guests do you
want to have on? Do you have questions? You have comments?
Hit me up Katie's Crib at Shanda land dot com.
Bye Bye. Katie's Crib is a production of Shonda Land
Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts
(52:36):
from Shanda land Audio, visit the I Heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
You can never know. I'm till you try. Me need
(53:00):
to write. Cut the Door
Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio
in partnership with I Heart Radio. So right after that happened,
you got me on my side, and it was taking
a little bit of time for the epidural to really take.
I was having a lot of pain in one hip,
and then Rebecca the pain subsided, and Rebecca put me
in something I will never forget. You put me in
something called Goddess Pose. Explain what that is. It's actually
(00:24):
thrown thrown position. Yeah, I will never forget it, forget
exactly what it was called. You guys, thank you so
much for coming back to Katie's Crib. This is a very,
(00:45):
very exciting episode. I have to two of the greatest
loves of my life here for you today. I thought,
how could we go into season four of Katie's Crib
and not give you Vera Shapiro's birth story, what at
and who else but the two people who were in
the room with me, my husband Adam Shapiro. Let's all
(01:07):
give a nice round of applause, and then also the
dula that you know and love from season one. I
think the first episode of Katie's Crib. Yeah, I think
the one the only Rebecca Bennonatti is here. And let
me just tell you very quickly, I'm not giving Adam
Shapiro's credits. You can look him up on IMDb or
Shappy Pretzel dot com. But Rebecca Bennonatti has been in
(01:31):
the business of health and fitness since show Wow, Gosh, Rebecca,
you look amazing. I can't. She has an extensive experience
in yoga, personal training, massage, a Roman therapy, meditation. Rebecca
is a certified DULA. She's studied with Dulas of North
America International approved DULA trainers Anna Paula Marquel and Judy Chapman.
She currently teaches the Comfort Measures segment of DUELA Trainings
(01:53):
at Beanie Birth and Sherman Oaks. She's also a wellness
advocate for Dotera Essential Oils, which is the greatest. She's
the mother of two. She's I mean, there's just no
one word to define what you are to my family's life.
So thank you for being on Katie's crib and guys
hill of that, thank you. Do you guys even remember
(02:16):
Vera's birth because she's four months old and it's gone.
It was so beautiful, Don't get me wrong, it was
literally the greatest day of my life. But it was
boring in terms of anything traumatic or something that might
stick out when you're in the birthing season that Rebecca
is currently in. But also we were right before the
(02:39):
first holiday at the end of the pandemic year. You
had a lot of worry and concern about holidays We're
going to go because your family was coming. So there
was really um. You know, there was a lot to
keep me personally from not remembering all the details because
for me, the birth itself was what it was, but
(03:00):
it was everything leading up to it. It was a pandemic,
and what you were going through and what you were anxiety,
that's what I really remember. And so I think this
is actually going to be very healing to talk about
this because, as you both know, I've been wanting to
have this conversation for a while birth so we could connect.
This is our postpartum visits. Yeah, okay, So when you
(03:22):
have a duelah, you also a lot of people as
part of the package, you get a postpart and visit
where you really like Assassin, go through how the birth
was for you and all of that. And me Adam
and Rebecca have not yet had time to schedule ours,
so you guys are all getting to hear it in
real time. Let's start with you, Adam, how is the
pregnancy for you? Wow? I don't know. It was weird.
(03:48):
I guess you know. I was one of the lucky
few baby daddies to be able to spend twenty four
seven with my wife for her entire pregnant. And see,
I mean how many guys can say that, right? I
didn't go on a trip for business nothing, so I
got to see the entire year pregnancy. It was a lot.
(04:10):
It was a lot to handle. I think we were
both very freaked out about the pandemic and how it
was gonna if I get the virus and give it
to Katie and then if she gets to the baby.
We we just we still don't really know exactly all
the details behind that. Um, well, we do. We know
that babies are mostly fine, thank god. Knock on wood.
(04:31):
I mean, none of us are doctors who don't quote us.
But what we didn't know is Adam and I got
pregnant around March eight, so literally a week before shut down.
And what was scary about finding out that we were
pregnant so early on in the pandemic was yes to
your thoughts at him, was that no one knew how
COVID affected pregnant women. No one knew how covid affected
(04:53):
fetuses early on, or how it could affect the pregnancy,
what drugs you could take if you got it. It
was the baby safe in the womb. I mean, it
was total fear and anxiety, and Adam, really you were
the rock, I would say, because you were not as
scared as I was. You weren't dealing with the chemical
(05:14):
and hormonal and balances of pregnancy. That's true, so I
guess that would be the name of the game for
this pregnancy. For me was just basically being there for you.
I don't know what else I would do even if
it wasn't a pandemic. That's probably my job, but this
was gig and I'm misnavigating the pregnancy during a pandemic.
(05:34):
You also were figuring out how to have your toddler
home every single day all day. Nowhere no outlets for
his energy. So Adam is definitely you were definitely the
rock in this pregnancy. The way you were holding it
all down for hormones and toddlers and starting your business
and all the things that were going on in your household.
(05:54):
Is amazing what you did. Yes. Yeah, Also, to everyone
who's listening doesn't know, Adam started a pretzel business during
the pandemic called Shappy Pretzel. It's still funny to even
hear that sentence. Adam started a pretzel business during the pandemic.
It's like Peter Piper picked a peck of It's a
(06:16):
pretzel pop up. It's a pandemic pretzel pop up. So
he was really also having this incredible joyous thing happening
during the pandemic, where I was feeling very isolated, feeling
very anxious about getting sick, feeling very anxious about having Albi,
who's a challenging toddler home and not able to go
(06:37):
to school and not able to go to jungle gyms
and all that stuff. Adam was off doing pretzels in
a safe way. But we were having different pandemic experiences.
And then, Rebecca, how would you explain my pregnancy? Phone calls, texts,
FaceTime freak outs to you during the pandemic. I remember
the first call I got was from Adam. It was
(06:58):
a tex saying can I talk to you? And and yeah,
that was a start and that's when I knew, oh,
Katie might be pregnant. So sure enough, Adam and I
got on the phone and he said, we're pregnant, and
Katie's really freaking out, not necessarily about the pregnancy at all,
but because we were in the beginnings of the pandemic.
(07:20):
So that was really the start of all the phone calls.
Was that first phone call I had with you. You
were letting me know that you were freaking out, You
were nervous, you were anxious, and we were all trying
to figure out what we were supposed to be doing
to be safe. All the rest of the text messages,
aside from doing prenatal yoga with me and being able
to see you on camera knowing that you were actually
(07:41):
okay and doing something to take care of yourself, the
text messages and phone calls were very anxiety written. That
was the one word that I would use in all
honesty and out of respect for what you went through.
You were super anxious. I wanted to ask Adam, was
there any sing that you struggled with around Vera's birth,
(08:04):
like having Albie by yourself and and and trying to
cover for me when I was having anxiety attacks. Yeah,
I think the hardest thing for me was when we
were pregnant with Albie. It was just the two of us,
and this was a completely different thing where I had
to keep Albie entertained and away from you when you
(08:25):
were feeling really low, which was a lot of the time.
And so I think that was probably the most challenging
thing for me, was handling Albi during this whole thing.
And but some really cool things came out of that.
Because we cooked a lot, and I was cooking so much,
I had to involve Albie and we got like a
stool for him to stand on all the cooks and
(08:45):
I got little kids cooking things. And that's what inspired
me to make a soft pretzel for Albie, and then
that turned into a company. And not to mention, you know,
for the first forty days of your pregnancy, I think
I set up a goal to make a little movie
with Albi every day. I was just trying to find
ways of involving Albion things that we're gonna I was
(09:10):
going to enjoy doing as well, and not just do
like outbe kid activities, make movies, make meals and things
like that. That was probably the most challenging part about
it all, and then not being around people to have
done all of this in quarantine was the hardest thing.
So that was very and I'm just personally learning how
(09:32):
to ask for help when I need it. That's just
been such a huge thing for me in my life.
And luckily Rebecca is like the easiest person. For hell,
it's you know, you don't feel awkward, and I know
that I can text her like I did in the
in the beginning, just saying hey, I need to talk
to you, and She's like, give me two minutes and
then I'll give you from midnight till six am. You
(09:54):
know what I mean, Like whatever you need. So she
and I got to talk in the middle of the
night while you were sleeping sleep crying, and we were
in the kitchen having that conversation, and I think that
was huge. I remember giving Adam a FaceTime lesson and
how to do raiky on you to get you super
calm and relaxed one night, and again Adam stepped right
(10:17):
in and right up and was like, what am I doing?
What is this called? I said, don't just put your
hands here and leave them there? Am I a racky
master now? And not quite but you nailed it. It's
interesting because technology can funk with the vibe of what
(10:37):
you're trying to do, especially what Rebecca does with pregnancy
and and yoga, and it's there's a screen and it's bright.
And she coached me through before while even walking into
the room with you, Katie, like how to turn the
lights off, dip my phone down, put the phone somewhere
that wasn't in your eyes, and that she was just
going to give me physical thumbs up. And also what
(10:59):
was amazing is that you didn't even ask questions. You
just did exactly what I asked you to do. And
I was so willing to, of course jump over with
masks on and do whatever I needed to do to
do the rate theme myself, but we were all too
scared and we couldn't. We were supposed to be around
each other at all. Even playing the edge like that
felt scary to me to offer to do that, but
(11:21):
it was. It was such a desperate thing that I
needed to have happened for you. I really think looking back,
whatever chemical, hormonal and balances were happening with me, plus
the pandemic, plus the isolation, plus the toddler at home
was just a very perfect storm. I was not handling
it well. And I face time Rebecca that night and
(11:41):
I said, I'm doing really badly. I want to check
myself into Cedars now. I can't do this anymore. I
can't be pregnant anymore. I'm so scared that something's going
to happen to me or the baby. And I'm so
scared of being home all the time and not seeing people.
And um, you talked me out of, like, don't check
into the hospital. Nothing is wrong. Adam can put his
(12:02):
hand on your chest and we're going to have lavender
scent on his hands and you're going to breathe in
and Adam is going to put his hands here and
I sobbed. Adam, have you ever seen me sad like that?
Just the week before we were going to open on Broadway.
I think that was the only that I had to
talk to you off of checking yourself into a hospital.
(12:23):
So true, jeez, Louise. Okay for context, just we opened
on Broadway and they gave us seven days of rehearsal
to sing and dance across the Broadway stage in our
entire family and friends was flying in to see us perform,
and we had never done a run of the show,
not once I and sang and dance in front of
people in fifteen years. Anyway, Yeah, that was another meltdown. Okay,
(12:44):
so those two and and also are you adding another one? Well,
we were both opening on Broadway that same night, so
I couldn't be there for you. So that was a
very different conversation that we had, which was like, Katie,
you gotta get your ship together. I don't have time
for this. We're doing this together. I'm going to be
(13:07):
on the stage with you, So if I have to
improve the rest of the musical, I can do that,
but I need you to like hold it together until
we get up on that stage. This one was a
very different situation where we were not both that a
baby and I could be there for because I was
literally home doing nothing for the entire first six months
(13:29):
of your pregnancy. So that was a unique experience for sure.
I had not seen you like that. Oh yeah, it
was the most amount of crying that I have experienced,
I have to to say, because the anxiety was that high.
I want to highlight that for a moment because for
women who cry through their entire pregnancy, you're not alone.
(13:53):
You don't hear of it very often. And this is
something that's so important to to get out is that
oftentimes when we're talking about pregnant, see people elaborate on
the one thing that was really hard for them, and
then it sounds just like you're highlighting the thing that
was really hard for you and not really giving it
the credit that it actually deserved. Because this was real.
(14:13):
This was not being fabricated. This was not a stretched
out to to make it dramatic and make it sound like, oh,
I cried every day. You literally cried every day. You
are anxious the entire time. I really really struggled this pregnancy,
and a huge regret I have now that I've been
on the other side and got diagnosed with postpartum depression
(14:35):
and anxiety and seek help. I've heard this from so
many other women now, which is they all wish they
had gotten help sooner, and look, it happened how it
was supposed to happen. But for anyone listening who is
feeling major anxiety during their pregnancy for whatever reason, or
major major, major sadness during your pregnancy for whatever reason,
(14:55):
you can talk to your o B, to a therapist
or a DULA or whatever, start to really figure out
and make sure that you're taking care of yourself, because
I don't think I had to have struggled like that,
now that I know. I think if it wasn't a pandemic,
you would have been out there. I just think it
was the combination of being so scared of leaving the
(15:16):
house and getting the virus that you didn't feel like
you had that option of getting together with people and
talking about this, and so you just decided to kind
of isolate and just get through it. But also just
to paint the setting. I mean Los Angeles in this time,
there were forty cases a day. At one I mean
(15:36):
I was literally reading an article, which again I stopped
reading all the news, but there was an article that
was like, if you are stepping out of your house,
you are putting yourself in danger. There was a little
election going on too. There was a little election going on.
I mean, it was fucking high stress like. But you
feel bad admitting that in all honesty, because I know
there are people who are pregnant listening to this or
(15:58):
have been to pregnancy who had and suffered far more
with far less than I have been very privileged to
have so I definitely also felt bad because I'm like,
what why am I feeling this way? I have a
roof over my head, I have my health, I have food,
I have love, I have family, support and friends. Like
there are people you can't help, but think of all
(16:19):
the women who come before you that have nothing you
know and have no system of support both financially mentally,
and I feel I would constantly feel bad, like why
do I feel this anxious and this scared and this sad?
When I have I'm safe and I'm okay. But sometimes
during pregnancy and post pregnancy, it doesn't have It's not rational,
(16:41):
it's not it's can you speak to that a little bit, Rebecca, Well,
it's just that that's the first thing I was going
to interrupt with is to say, it's not rational, but
we don't know that because it feels really real. And
that's where you do have to reach out, as hard
as it is to ask for help. There's just nothing
to do to make sense of that because it doesn't
(17:02):
make sense, but yet it feels like it makes sense,
and it can then start to make you feel crazy,
and then it starts to affect everybody around you, your
other children, your husband, any other work things you have
going on, and so it is I think this is
the other great thing. I feel like I'm highlighting Adam
a lot and this podcast episode, but seriously, this is
(17:22):
where Adam again was so incredible. When it did feel
like it was spiraling out and he couldn't do anything else,
he would reach out to me and I would give
him one thing to do or one thing to say,
or suggest some idea of something random. And we already
knew that you were seeing a therapist, so you did
have that support already. Um and your doctor. You have
(17:46):
a great relationship with your doctor. So aside from that
professional help that you were already getting, what was left
for me to do as your dula and your friend
was to support Adam because he had to keep going
to support you, but also to do what what you did,
which was to make sure that you were getting any
time outside in the sun in your backyard, getting some
(18:06):
fresh air, some vitamin D, making sure that you were eating.
And these were all things I didn't even want to
ask you because I didn't want any more overwhelm on
you at all. After you even gave birth, I really
felt so protective of you because of the amount of
anxiety you had to the point of me not sharing
things with you personally that I wouldn't typically share with
(18:28):
both of you, but such protection because of the amount
of anxiety. It was, thank you, what a ship show.
Oh my. There are so many things that happened during
this pregnancy that were so anxiety inducing, and like I remember,
like what during the pregnancy where you and I wanted
to go out and protest with Black Lives Matter. We
(18:49):
wanted to go and join the protests. They were right
outside of our house, and we had to have a
conversation of like what if we go to the protests
and we get the virus? Or what if we go
to the protests and the police open up fire on
us with like Robert bullets. We can't put you in
that position as a pregnant woman, but we were feeling
(19:11):
like super terrible about not going out there. That's an
actual conversation that we had during your pregnancy. Like, it
was just so many levels, and it felt like every
month some sort of new challenge to navigate, and a
lot of times our answer was let's just stay home.
(19:32):
And you know that had its own issues. What's so
crazy about this? And hearing about how stress full and
anxious I was this entire pregnancy. My rocks were Rebecca
and Adam, and honestly, that prenatal yoga class, it's like
being in my body felt really good and felt like
(19:52):
a nice break that I always allowed myself no matter what.
The birth itself, which I want to get into now,
was magic, and that's what no one saw coming. A
(20:15):
few days before the birth, I was in Rebecca's yoga class,
and at the beginning of the yoga class, a lot
of the moms go around and share, and I started
sobbing because I said, I am so terrified of this birth.
Has been a record breaking year in terms of dumpster fires,
ship storms for the world, and I am really scared
(20:40):
that I'm going to go into this birth and we're
not going to see something terrible coming. Well, and and
with Albie, the Las Vegas massacre happened during his birth,
we were so ready for like, okay, well, you know,
even if we make it to the hospital with nothing,
like what's going to happen? What do we what text
message we're going to get every left turn, something so
(21:04):
sad and horrible is happening, And like, how am I
going to skirt that of course something's gonna get sucked up.
And here's what I didn't see coming. My birth was easier, lovelier, shorter,
like I already had a magical, wonderful the birth I
wanted with my son. And I feel so blessed to
(21:26):
say that, because I think there are a lot of
women that don't get to say that. And I was like,
I don't feel like I'm lucky enough to get that again, guys,
I got that again with fucking flying colors. Like my
birth with Vera was so wonderful. It was an induction. Again.
I had such a great experience with I'll be inducing
(21:48):
that I chose to induce Vera. You had a very
clear vision at that point when you knew you were
getting close, and you had decided that you wanted the
induction your vision. And I really believe that what women
say as an affirmation or as a mantra, or just
something to support themselves to get through to the day
(22:09):
of labor and delivery, whatever they say can often manifest.
And you were saying, do you remember what you were saying?
Over and over? What was I saying? You were saying,
I just want to be holding my daughter at the
Thanksgiving dinner table with my family that you said that
so many times. Her due date was Thanksgiving day, So
(22:30):
my options were they weren't going to let me go
much more than my do date because I'm an old hag,
but I'm a geriatric magazine, so they weren't gonna let
me go. And her due date was My parents were
here and my brother and Meg, and that was my pod.
And I was like, I'm either going to spend Thanksgiving
its cedars and have Rebecca work and my pediatrician work
(22:53):
and my obie work, or I'm going to induce a
few days before I'm going to be home. All I
wanted was a sucking sweet potato pie with fucking marshmallows
all over it, my daughter breastfeeding at my boob, and
my family. Like, I just wanted to be home. I
didn't want to be in a hospital during COVID and
(23:13):
so that was really your right, That was the Montres saying,
and that was really my reason for inducing. I don't
know if I would have made that choice had I
not had a great experience inducing ALBI, but I did.
The difference here was is that I had even less
of an induction augmentation because when I showed up at
the hospital I had at ten pm appointment slot at CEDARS,
(23:34):
I was already four centimeters dilated and contractions were one
to two minutes apart, and I didn't even know you
were faced and I was seventy of this Now. I
think that happened because the day before Adams shut down pretzels,
which I was like, way to just shut down pretzels
(23:55):
the day before the induction date. I was like, are
you going to take off a few days before the
induction and he was like, I don't know, I'm gonna
be like working pretzels, like less than twenty four hours
to the induction time, right at him. Yeah, it was
anything to get me out of the house, you know,
whether that was pretzels or just helping someone move into
an apartment or driving multiple people to the airport. I
(24:16):
would have pretty much done anything to stay just a
healthy distance away from you during those couple of days
and just on text and ready for you, but trying
to keep my energy as positive and as flowing as
possible because it was a dark household during those days
and I wanted to make sure that I just needed
to be there to help you when you're feeling sad.
(24:38):
I feel really sad, and so I felt like it
was really important to keep my mo joke going so
I could be really positive and strong for you. Although
it might sound like I was just trying to stay
away from you, I think it was a very whatever
you needed. It worked. It was a very conscious effort
that I was like, I don't want to stop everything
days before the birth. I kind of want to keep
(24:58):
the flow going. The pretzel was his joy, which I love,
and that's why the business guys shappy Pretzel dot com
um any who the minute you pulled in and shappy
Pretzel was done at six pm on Friday before her
before the induction date, my mucus plug came out, which
never happened with Albi, and I was like, what the
(25:19):
hell is that? And it's literally like when you google
image mucus plug. It was like a bloody booger toilet
do it. And I texted Rebecca and she's like, oh
my god, this is great. Your body is doing it.
And every time I pee there was like a little
bit like that brown, sort of spotty blood that would
be like the end of a period or something. Adam
(25:40):
this is where Katie's crib really really gets into it.
And I know. So the mucus plug is out, and
I'm like, oh my god, I have an induction day tomorrow,
but my body is sort of doing it anyway. And
I felt like garbage, and I was like, this feels right.
I had this thing called this salad at Kote Restaurant
onto Ango, which is this famous salad in l A
(26:02):
that really says that if you have the salad and
you will go into labor within twenty four hours. I
did have the salad the day before, and I'm convinced
it's because cast Royal is in the dressing. Yes it
is the cast royal and Balsama vinegar combination. Yeah, it
doesn't work for everybody, but it seemed to have helped
you for sure. So mucus plug show up to the
(26:22):
ten pm induction, They do the COVID test, they do
the heplock. They say, oh my god, I thought I
was going to get the fully balloon again, which is
a lovely device I had had with Albi, which is
a nice sort of circus animal balloon that they shove
into your vagina and they blow it up very slowly
over time. And it gets you from one centimeter to
(26:43):
four centimeters. But they checked me and when I showed
up for the induction, I was already at four and
I sobbed because I didn't have to get the fully balloon.
Thanks so much. It was a happy cry though, and
I was very familiar with the different types of crying
at this point. I was like, very happy to see
you crying about the not having to get the fully balloon.
(27:04):
That was Ai. That was a big step in the
right direction that day. Then you guys, tell the what
happened Adam after the four centimeters no fully balloon. I
think they gave me a teeny bit of protocon to
like jump start and it shifted. Oh. Then she broke
her own water. That's what happened. Your water. Your water
broke at one am. Oh my god. And I checked
(27:26):
in at ten guys, and by the time everything was
hooked up and checked and everything was like eleven thirty.
My water broke it one She broke it herself. A
lot of times in an induction. You can say this record,
but you'll they'll come in with like a sewing needle.
H We're like a knitting that's what I mean. Yeah,
(27:50):
well kind yeah, and they will burst your water for you.
But she did it on her own. I felt, oh,
I remember what it was. I just remembered it was.
I felt like someone had punched me in my bum
hole from the inside. You're welcome, guys. All of a sudden,
(28:10):
when they say it's a lot of liquid, it is
a you. It is a lot of liquid. People like
you're on these we we we we pads that you
would use for like potty training a dog inside, and
it is endless amounts of fluids. It's so gross. I
don't like it. I'm not into it. Like but it
feels like a nice release, doesn't Its like a nice relief.
(28:35):
She did that on her own. And then what happened
right after your water broke? You got your epidural? No,
that's I can be as supportive as possible, but if
there's one thing I need to know is a ten
minute alert for when the epidural starts? And why is that?
Adam do not like needles. I don't like to see
the needle. I certainly don't like to see the needle
(28:56):
going into anything. Adams a faint to y'all. Adam is
a fainter. But at that point, I wasn't there. Actually,
I hadn't gotten there yet. And so did you end
up supporting her during that? Okay, I said, somebody let
me know where that door. Guys come in. I'm just
gonna go take a little walk. It was what three
(29:16):
in the morning, it was. I don't know what I did,
but I just got out of there for a few minutes. Well,
because it was a pandemic, you couldn't go anywhere. You
weren't allowed in the hall, So you probably hung out
in the bathroom as my guests. Because you couldn't go
anywhere that I did, they weren't letting you go out
of the room. Don't go to the bathroom. They weren't
(29:37):
letting us out of the room at all. I think
you just hung out in the bathroom. Just check my
Instagram or something like that. I don't like that. Once
my water broke, the contractions really really picked up and
(29:57):
they were painful. Like I did not like what was
going on. I'm like one of those where I'm like,
I do want to feel the contractions and I want
to feel how amazing it is that my body is
doing it. And I felt all that, and then I'm
also like Okay, I don't like this anymore. I wanted
to stop, you know, like that's me. Every woman makes
their own choice about how long they want to do
that for, if they want to see it all the
(30:18):
way through. But I called for the epidural, and I
remember having the contractions while it takes about thirty minutes
to place the epidural. So you're having contractions while they're
doing it. For people listening who are pregnant, you're I'm
holding the hands of the nurse and I'm saying I'm
being very communicative, like okay, okay, I feel another one
(30:40):
coming on. I feel another one coming on, And they say, Okay,
we're gonna stop doing the work. We're gonna stop placing it.
Just let us know when it starts to taper off.
And it would come, the contractions would come, and then
I would say, okay, it's tapering off. It's tapering off,
and then they would get back to work. And I
would do that while I would not move my body
and just take all the pain out on the lovely
hands of the nurse. I was squeezing the ship out
(31:01):
of them. And then slowly but surely, relief starts to
calm and the pain starts to fade away, and I think, Rebecca,
is that when you came. Yeah, I was there right
after that happened. So right after that happened, you got
me on my side, and it was taking a little
bit of time for the epidural to really take. I
was having a lot of pain in one hip, and
(31:22):
then Rebecca the pain subsided, and Rebecca put me in
something I will never forget. You put me in something
called goddess pose. Explain what that is. It's actually thrown. Yeah,
I will never forget it. Forget exactly what I felt
like a goddess, as you should. It's a goddess thrown
(31:42):
like position, and basically it's it's very simple. All it
is is the back of the hospital bed gets all
the way brought upright, the foot end of the hospital
bed drops down, and we prop your arms up like
you've got arm rest, like you're sitting in a throne.
And gravity just tends to really help so much in
that position to bring baby down to get more activity.
(32:04):
And so we did leave you there for quite a while.
That position worked well for you. Oh my god, throne
was amazing. I felt like I was sitting like I
would be in a meditation, see like it felt very meditative.
I remember my eyes being shut. I remember feeling very
connected to Vera, like we're in the final throes of this.
I love you, We've got this. I was saying all
(32:26):
of these things to her, and the pain had gone.
How long was I in throne? We typically leave you
in each position for about twenty to thirty minutes, depending
We like to keep moving you around when you have
an epidural, So I'm guessing were you were there maybe
thirty minutes. Sometimes we leave you there a little longer.
Babies tolerating it okay, as she was, so you might
(32:47):
have been there for a while before we put you
back onto your side. And the other reason that position
is great is because it levels out the pressure on
each side of your pelvits, so whatever pain you were having,
your body could get to a very centered, anatomical, neutral,
if you will, kind of position. And then somebody checked
me and said it's time to call the doctor. At
(33:08):
what time? I don't even know, guys, just to give
you reference, the whole thing was three hours. I didn't
even have time to vibe out the room. You know,
this was such a different birthing experience, and with Albi,
we had lights up and the so Nos playing and
we knew exactly the song we wanted queued up when
Albi came out. I mean, Vera's birth was so fast.
(33:29):
The three hours. It was like, Okay, now we're doing this,
Now we're doing this. Now it's this part. Now it's
this part. And I'm like, what, We're already at this part?
Like I couldn't even the thirty minutes and Throne pose
was the only time I felt labor. Everything else was
just like quickly checking things off the list, and it
was like, holy sh it, we're already at this part.
We're already at seven, were already at eight, We're already
(33:50):
at ten, were already a face, We're already Like it
just felt like a speeding train. You had a list
and you just kept saying to me, all right, just
four more ship shows to go, and then we're all
through this. And then you're like, You're like, we got
through eight of the ship shows and I'm fine, and
now we just have three more ship shows before. So
(34:14):
embarrassed for all of your people listening, I'm this is
so embarrassing. That's why I'm so glad you're both here
because I have to be held accountable for the person
I was throughout this, and I can't even like this
is insane. So I'm such a list maker. I'm such
a type a person that I was like, if everything
(34:34):
goes according to my plan, which we can't plan anything,
but you said there was gonna be there's eight things
that I'm cool with, and then there's like ten things
that suck. COVID test brain scratcher was like one then
it would be like heplock getting inserted is to test.
Oh fuck you, Adam. Adam was like asking me all
(34:56):
these fucking questions. During my COVID test. I was filling
out paperwork, which I'm terrible at doing. For some reason,
I could I could answer any question whatever, but when
it comes to paperwork, I just like, I don't know
any of these answers. And I kept asking Katie like, Hey,
what's the last four of your social or whatever the
thing was. Yeah, he was asked me the last four
of my social while the COVID thing was literally scratching
(35:20):
my brain like above my eyes. I looked up from
the paper and I didn't realize Katie was in the
middle of a brain scratcher, and she was like, Adam,
just letting me do my thing and you fell out
the paperwork and I was like, got it, cool, got it.
But all the ship shows was like I think, I
don't remember, there was like eight or ten of them,
and it was like COVID test hep block um uh
(35:42):
fully balloon fully balloon potosin water, breaking epidural making it
to ten centimeters, pushing baby out right. So it was
like eight ship shows or something like that. The eighth
show checklist for pregnancy for la my ridiculous then is
(36:05):
I am so embarrassed that we are sharing this with
you listeners. But for some reason, that was how my
brain had to organize all the scary things I needed
to face to get the baby there. And what was
so insane and what no one saw coming was that
what I didn't want to add to the ship show
was like last minute C section, vacuum, heartbeat dropping, Like
(36:27):
I knew because of this podcast. I know a lot
of information, and I know that there are other options
on this ship show list, Okay, like I knew, and
if they needed to happen in order for Vera and
me to get out safely, of course we would have
checked those off too, but from what I knew and
from the pregnancy and labor I had had with Albie,
(36:49):
those were the ship shows I had known before, and
I was hoping for those ship shows again and for
not any new ship shows. The good news was with
Vera that the ship shows were going way faster and
the fooling balloon was already taken off the table. Like, yeah,
but that is so funny that that is what I
called them and that was my list. I'm so fucking mortified. Okay, well,
(37:12):
you should actually be really proud that you're getting that
out there, because women shouldn't only think that they're supposed
to feel glorious and happy and you know, maternal and
all in their divine feminine during pregnancy and childbirth. It
can be so for sure, Yeah, you are. You needed
it to be done. I felt it in Throne. I did.
(37:34):
I felt that connection. I know someplace else that you
might have been feeling it. I don't know what you
were feeling, but there was a moment that I wrote
down in our text exchanges when I was checking in
with you guys the next day, and I acknowledged how
you and Adam I feel emotional right now, how are
(37:54):
you and Adam locked eyes for a moment and you
started crying, And I wrote to you, guys, and I said,
I loved that moment where you and Adam locked eyes.
There are beautiful things in all of the ship shows,
the moments in between the ship shows that are real
beautiful bonding connected and certainly for me being with you
(38:15):
a second time, like being with a family for a
second time and seeing and knowing that Albi's little sister
was going to be born. And there's a lot of
beautiful little moments too in between the ship show. But
you I also in my follow up text to you
acknowledge you were acknowledging you said, I cannot believe how
much I cried during this whole process. I cried so much,
(38:36):
And yeah, I cried so much. It was so it
was just it was just like in all honesty, it
was just a real struggle for me for whatever reasons,
all the reasons, it just really was. And her labor
was not. It was not a physical struggle for me.
(38:59):
Once I got through the ship show list and what
was left was the pushing and the sewing up. But
like once I got to ten centimeters in a face, which,
by the way, again two and a half hours later.
This is going so fast, and my only respite was
just that thirty minute meditation, which was glorious. And then
they said, okay, you're ready to push, Adam Rebecca, how
(39:20):
many times did I push? And what was it like?
I don't remember, maybe six times and I was gonna
I think it was about maybe six push number I
had in my head, and Rebecca said, don't scrunch your face,
which was the best reminder ever, because I was wasting
(39:43):
energy by scrunching my face and instead of pushing all
of my energy down to my vagina and butt. And
Adam was up by my side. Rebecca had one leg,
the nurse had the other leg, and my oh B
was in between my legs. And what was so amazing
about COVID is that was it was it's a very
small team right now that he's even allowed to be there.
(40:04):
Um and Adam, I remember you whispering in my ear,
like one more you've got this something like that, right,
do you remember that? I was like, this is happening
way faster than with Albie. I was really confident that
the baby was going to come out in in a
minute or two. And I could see more than you
could see, so I knew that at one point too.
(40:25):
So it was nice to be able to tell you
this is going to happen right now. I know that
it was happening right now. Yeah. And then my Obi said,
which is the coolest one in my life, which we
never discussed and was not part of my birth plan,
but wow, I didn't even know it was an option.
My Obi says to me, grab or grab or grab her,
and Vera was halfway out right, Rebecca, Yeah, she said,
(40:47):
reached down and pull your baby up. Yeah, and she
I felt with my own hands my daughter. Oh my god,
I'm gonna get emotional, but I felt my daughter leave
my body and bring her up to my chest and
I looked down at her. I mean, I was like,
it was such a metaphor. I mean, it was such
a like it was like this pregnancy it was. She
(41:08):
my doctor said, grab her, grab her, And my initial
reaction was fear um, like I had been feeling the
whole time. And I just like locked eyes with her
and put my hands underneath her little arms and felt
the second half of her body leave me, and then
threw her onto my own chest, and it was the
coolest thing I have ever done in my life and
(41:31):
probably will be the coolest thing I ever do in
my whole life. Um, and then she was here. I
was so out of body, Like, do you guys remember
were we crying? Like? What was it? I don't even remember.
We can guarantee you were crying. Adam might have had
some tears, and I think I probably was crying too.
I'm in love with your whole family. I get emotional
(41:54):
when I'm really connected to the people i'm with, So
I'm certain that I was crying. And also what you
had been through and the pandemic and all the if
I could even be with you, and the fact that
we were actually able to kind of until a couple
of weeks before, weren't even allowed in the room. You
were doing a lot of zoom virtual. But I'm pretty clients. Yes,
(42:15):
I'm pretty sure I was crying too. I was kind
of mind blown. I was not expecting to watch Katie
pull the baby out of herself. I was pretty ready
for this it's all to happen. And then when that
curveball happened, I think I was silent for a good
five minutes. After that kind of processing what I just witnessed.
(42:35):
And she was also we were thrown because she was
like eight pounds six ounces. She was like a big,
beautiful round baby. And and also for you guys listening,
like what used to be my huge first fear with
Albie was the stitch up. If you do tear, and
I have with both babies, not a big tear, but
little ones. My o B gets to work on that,
(42:57):
like in the minute after you meet your baby, so
you literally don't give a shit, like your baby just
came out of your vagina, your baby's on your chest,
if all has gone okay, and they immediately just get
to work doing the quick like suitures and the stitches,
so you do not care. And because I had an evadual,
I didn't feel anything. I don't know if you don't
(43:18):
have an avidual, if you don't feel it, probably because
you're just so much love meeting your child for the
first time. You're so distracted. What do I don't know? Ish, Well,
you have to get a shot, right, like they'll give
you a little shot in some numbing spray. But yes,
you definitely feel that if there's no epidural a little bit.
So we meet our daughter. It happened in no time
(43:40):
at all, and I feel just so like the moral
of the story being like God, Yes, was an unexpected
year and even unexpected and how positive and glorious and
magical VIA's birth was. You did it. You got to
the Thanksgiving table. We had a good half hour at
(44:03):
that table. What say yes? Because just keep it yeah,
like keeping it real. What I had been working towards
so much in the pregnancy was just get Vera here,
and as soon as she gets here. I had had
other friends that were pregnant during the pandemic alongside with me,
and they had all told me that once the baby
was here, that their anxiety and and fears diminished basically
(44:27):
down to zero. And that's what I was hoping for,
that I just had to make it cross the finish
slide of bringing her here. And what I slowly over
the next four to six weeks realized after Vera had
been here was that my experience took a one eight
from my friends experiences, and my anxiety and depression got
worse instead of better. And that's when we knew I
had to get more help. And Rebecca again was one
(44:52):
of my first text and jumped in, giving me a
plethora of other moms who had been diagnosed with postpartum
depression and anxiety, who were on medication or not on medication,
or had been doing different things, so that I had
other moms who were ahead of me that I could
talk to and just ahead of you, like their measure
just kicked in a week prior two weeks fire. It
(45:14):
was a run of that at that time, probably because
of the pandemic, but who knows, yes, and also Rebecca
being like me, being like, I think something's wrong. I'm
thinking about zoloft, and Rebecca being like here all the
moms I know that have been diagnosed, supposed to our inpression,
who are on zoloft, who are breastfeeding, who are and
(45:35):
I'm going to put you in touch with them so
you can ask them a billion questions about their experience
and blah blah blah, and so really you've been our
dula for for life. And as you can tell, I
think you can both attest since getting help and Vera
being here, I am doing much better. What do you
think at him? Yes? Yes, yeah, happy? Sure, enjoying motherhood,
(46:00):
enjoying your family, enjoying seeing Albi bond with his little
sister and enjoying watching all of her little, brand new
baby changes to develop into who she is. You would
have been missing that. That's a really good reason to
get support because it goes by very fast, and also
to enjoy right, like you said, enjoying motherhood. But also
(46:21):
for women who are listening, I get this question a lot,
like if you're really anxious and mentally struggling during your pregnancy,
how does that affect the baby? And here's what I
can tell you. I have a four month old who
is the least anxious, chillist, best sleeping, joyous, smiley baby.
(46:43):
So I don't know if it's because I was so
anxious and fucked up her pregnancy, but I joke around
saying like fate, God, whatever you want to call it.
She knew what the world was that she was being
born into and what her mother could handle. And so
Vera is very I hate to say the word e
(47:05):
a s y because I'm scared to knock gone wood everywhere.
But you're listening. You guys, get me, You get me? Um?
What else? Do you guys have any other last tips
or pieces of advice for our audience? Oh, I'll go
first breastfeeding. If you are going to try to breastfeed.
(47:26):
A lot of times the birth is traumatic for a
baby and a big change, and so they encourage a
baby to go right to the nipple right like after um.
All great, okay, after childbirth, And Vera was screaming at
my breast and would not take to it very easily.
And I was already freaking out because as you guys
(47:49):
know who've listened to Katie's cribin listening to the breastfeeding
episode with Linda Hannah eleactation consultant, you would know that
I had a really hard time breastfeeding Albae and my
nipples fell off. So I was already freaking out. But
it only took a few days and she's a champion
breastfeeder and it all went fine, perfect, perfect. Yeah, So
that's to anyone listening, just know if breastfeeding is hard,
(48:12):
even in the first try, the second try, the third
try in the hospital delivery room, or over the next
few days in the hospital or when you first get home,
that's okay. Even with a second baby. Vera had to
learn how to do it, and it had been two
years since I had to do it, and I had
to relearn how to do it. I had like forgotten
how to hold a new born and breastfeed, like I
(48:33):
didn't remember football holder. And I was like, funk that
I'm not looking it up Like I breastfed for a year,
I'm an expert. No, I had to relearn all over again.
H I mentioned this earlier. A lot of highlighting of
Adam during this and it makes me think in general
about the importance of honoring and highlighting the support people,
(48:54):
whether it's a husband, another partner. I've recently supported some
single women who don't have anybody, so I was that person.
But to really just highlight an honor the people that
are standing alongside the women in labor that are doing
the hardest thing going through this emotional roller coaster in
a pandemic. Adam, you were a role model for how
(49:17):
to be a support person. You didn't get many breaks.
I know that because I kept checking in with you.
Did you didn't get a lot of breaks and um
and you you stayed the course. You were there all
the way through. God, this whole podcast is making me
really want to have a date night look out. It's
like podcasts over Adam and me in the bedroom in
(49:38):
ten minutes. Wow, Rebecca said to me early on in
the thing, do something for Katie that's just so different,
and get her out. You can't get her out of
the house, but just find a place in the backyard
that you haven't sat in together. And so that's our
date night in the in his art check, in the garage,
his idea. I put all those candles in the garage
and music, and I was like, Katie, I need you
(49:59):
to come side, and you were like, no, I don't
want to go outside. I just want to cry. And
then I got and the day was awesome. And even
though it was only fifty fifteen minutes, maybe twenty minutes
we were out there, I think you were like, Okay,
this was super sweet and I loved it, and thank you,
and here's a kiss. I gotta go to bed. But
even those twenty minutes we both still remember. I think
(50:24):
it definitely is a testament to the power of Okay,
you don't have a babysitter and a whole night to
have a huge date night and see a show and
see dinner, have dinner at a fancy restaurant. It's a
testament to what just five minutes the difference five minutes
give me Adam and Rebecca. I want to thank you
(50:45):
guys for being there for me through the whole ship show.
I want to thank Rebecca to thank you and we
love you so much. Oh you guys, I love you
so much. Any amount of time to ever get with
either of you, both of you, any of you in
your household is just precious to me. Um. I was
just I was listening to you guys earlier, and I
(51:06):
was thinking, gosh, I should have dueled them before their
first night on Broadway. I should have something to like
walk them through. I could have done like break you
through the phone or something. But I'm actually a really
good point shows. Yeah, a Broadway is an amazing idea.
I just I love you both so much and I
(51:29):
support you always in anything that you do. And it
was my honor to be there for both births of
your beautiful children. Oh my god, I feel so lucky.
And also we have not This is like the official
postpartum visit that now I can finally close your file,
close the file file on the Shapiro family for now,
(51:51):
uh forever. That's a close unless we get a new
dog in like ten years or a bird or a
fish or a turtle or whatever the kiddo's on. I'm
just like, I can't even love you, Katie. I love
you so much. There are no words to say. Thank
(52:14):
you guys for listening to Katie's Crib. I want to
hear from you. You guys were in season four. What
do you want to talk about? What guests do you
want to have on? Do you have questions? You have comments?
Hit me up Katie's Crib at Shanda land dot com.
Bye Bye. Katie's Crib is a production of Shonda Land
Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts
(52:36):
from Shanda land Audio, visit the I Heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
You can never know. I'm till you try. Me need
(53:00):
to write. Cut the Door
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