Growth Grief and The Courage to Heal w/ King Jay Barnett Part 2.

Today, Crystal Renee continues her conversation with Dr. Jay Barnett, licensed therapist and advocate, to discuss his transformation from a professional athlete to a leading voice in mental health. Barnett shares his powerful personal story of overcoming depression, surviving suicide attempts, and finding purpose through faith and therapy. This candid conversation covers the stigmatization of therapy among Black men, the impact of parental divorce, and the paths to healing and emotional intelligence. Barnett also touches on the role of spirituality in his life, the importance of being vulnerable, and the challenges of navigating relationships while pursuing a higher calling. With deep honesty, both Hayslett and Barnett reflect on their personal journeys, the significance of seeking help, and the power of prayer and stillness.

@luvcrystalrenee @KingJayBarnett

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Calling all my sweeties to the forefront.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm your host, and this is the Keeping Positive Sweetish.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Show, and everybody can't go.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
And Tyler he was on here and he said, it's
like a rocket ship. You know, you have boosters, but
when it gets to a certain yeah.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
When it breaks that stratosphere, stuff has to fall off
because it'll slow it down.

Speaker 4 (00:25):
You know.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Have you dealt with that?

Speaker 3 (00:28):
It's been It's been hard, uh for me, because I
care so much about people. But then on the other side,
the purpose creates the distance because they can't keep up,
you know what I'm saying. And so and I'm sure
like because like there's times literally I'll be like.

Speaker 4 (00:49):
God, God is so funny with me. Like I'll meet somebody.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
I'll be like, God, they cool, and you know, we'll
get to chopping it up man, And all of a sudden.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
I got it.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
I'm on the road for like, and then try to
keep up. But and God was speaking to me, you know,
he said, you, i'mna, I have to assign certain peoples
to where you are because what we carry, as massive
as it is and as powerful as it is, it's
too delicate to be put in the wrong hand.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Mismanaged.

Speaker 4 (01:22):
And it's too delicate to be mismanaged.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
So there's some friendships that I've had to grieve and
I've had to have some conversation you know, with some
friends that they accepted it, and he was like, man, Jay,
we just you know, we're just so used to what
it was.

Speaker 4 (01:42):
And it ain't that no more.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
And the fear for a lot of people when God
starts to expand those that whoever He's handpicked and chose
is nobody wants to be left behind. And that's what
it is. And so I've had to learn that I
can't bring everybody. And I think right now I have
the perfect team around me. It took years to find
the right fit people that that you can trust with

(02:07):
your career. You know what I'm saying, because that's big.
But through much prayer, it's just my mom man interceding
for me. And then there's a few ladies that intercede
along with her, some some some old saints. Man that
that gonna get up there in the morning and call
on God man, and that gonna see and that gonna say, hey, King,

(02:28):
watch out for this and watch out for that.

Speaker 4 (02:31):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (02:32):
Man, That that's just such a blessing to have people
because when we're doing what we do, uh, we you know,
that's some things that we overlook that we miss. And
sometimes a snake do get in the camp and I
never forget. My mom told me about this particular person man.

(02:53):
She woke about her sleep and called me, God said,
don't share nothing else with them.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
My mama had a dream about somebody too, that's crazy, Mama's.
My mama had a dream that a friend of mine
was living with me and poisoning my food.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
And she was like, please, she said, just be careful.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
And she was like, I don't think it's she would
literally do that, but she's poisoning to your life.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
I said, my God today, as you say, no, it was.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
It's real and we need it because we don't because
a husband is a covering as much as a wife
is a covering.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
We don't have that.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
So we so we need it and I welcome it.
Like before I get on the stage, my mother prays, yeah.
And when I get off the stage, she prayed and
she says, I'll do this till your wife come.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (03:44):
Yeah, because she says.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
I need you to be covered because when I get
on stage and open up myself.

Speaker 4 (03:51):
Yeah, and you notice from playing.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
The character you you you, you have to become void,
so the character feels you know what I'm saying. And
so I have to be open for God to pour
into me what the people need, no matter how much
I study, no matter how much I know, and the
ingenuity of the concepts and all of that, and then
I get off stage, all the virtue is gone.

Speaker 4 (04:16):
And recently.

Speaker 3 (04:19):
I was in Detroit and it was a very prophetic
move that I thought it was just gonna be a
regular men's retreat and it turned into me speaking in
some men's life. And I got off stage and CJ
wasn't with me, but the guy had some brothers who
were some solid brothers, and they walked into the back
and I was literally.

Speaker 4 (04:38):
Like, I got to call my mama, call my mom.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
Immediately. I was just like I said, Mama, pray. I
was so drained.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
It's like Jesus when he would feed the fish and
bread and.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
The reason you gotta be prayed over because that is
your most vulnerable state. And I watched too many men
fall yep, because if you don't have anybody to cover
you because come so vulnerable and you'll find yourself yourself
in a vulnerable state.

Speaker 4 (05:10):
And so you know, I just thank God that you
have their mother.

Speaker 3 (05:13):
Manuse like we have a huge assignment we do.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
And it's like you said, the people like making sure
have you have you noticed like as you go closer
to God that you have a distaste for things that
you used to like love and then you see like
you're around people are like what, Yeah, I'm so grateful
that the people around me like I don't have to
worry about that.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
You know, yes, yes, I like there's a lot like
you know, my team now is really good, but they've
even grown to understand the things I have a distaste for.
Ye Like when I'm on set, they know you know
what I mean, pray because we've been on set times
filming and like there's a breakthrough happening for people and

(06:00):
as a breakthrough happening for people, and I'll tell them like, hey,
prayer may break out during this episode because if you're
talking to somebody who is on a healing journey and
I'm talking about deep things and things that have a
stronghold on people, because I know I carry a breaker's annointing.
You get around me, you're gonna get set free that

(06:22):
there's no doubt about it. You cannot stay the same
around me, can you see?

Speaker 4 (06:25):
Jay? Okay, Yeah, you can't stay the same around me.
You cannot.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
And that's not an arrogant but that's what God is
giving me. It's a breakers of nainting, which is why
he placed me in the mental health space that I
ain't got to lay hands on you. That that's such
a power, in my words, that would shift that stronghold,
that spirit, that this ease that you have and I
know that, and then knowing that the devil knows that.

(06:53):
So that's times I've gotten off stage, I've saw people
be set free. I've watched me and break down and cry,
and I'll get off stage and the enemy will say,
but your dad ain't.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
Call you.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
M M.

Speaker 4 (07:13):
You know what I'm saying. Yes, you know you still
you know want to be fathered. You know what I mean?
Because I do. And you know, I'm not in a
place where I'm like, oh, I want to be father, But.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
There's part of me that would love to have conversations
with him that pours into me and not this kind
of like hey, just you know where you're at to day, Like,
you know what I mean, how's travel like to have
a word from him?

Speaker 1 (07:42):
Yes, you know what I'm saying, relations.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
Exactly, And so the enemy will whisper that because I
hear men say, man, doctor j my god, brother, you
broke something in me. And I have to get on
the phone to sell that door. Yeah, because if that
door stays open, I'll be depressed.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
With three days.

Speaker 3 (08:02):
Who I usually called my mother and I usually usually
talk with her. Bishop Jakes has been so pivotal in
this space. Man, Bishop Borders. You know, uh, two strong
men of God that have walked through things, that have overcome,
that know the Bible, but no life. Their season not

(08:26):
just in the world, but they're season in life, you
know what I mean. So they got ranged. You know,
they've been where I'm at. And Bishop scares me all
the time. He's like, you got a strong call. I
wouldn't want to be you. I'm on my way out.
It's on you now. I'd be like, listen, man, But

(08:48):
you know he told me. He said, he said, you're
healing ancient wounds and men, and he said you're under
unopened heaven. So whatever you ask God for just want
to give it, just keep walking in it. And he
told me this a couple of weeks ago, and it
just blessed me. He said, you don't have to walk

(09:09):
this out by yourself. I'm here because it's scary, man.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
And that's probably what you want to hear from your father.

Speaker 4 (09:18):
Yeah, it's scary, man.

Speaker 3 (09:20):
And I think because he told me, Bishop said, I
pour into you because I see the trajectory you on.
You're on the same trajectory I was on. Yeah, And
I remember I spent like five hours with him and
we was walking in his backyard and he said, I
brought you out here so you can see where you're going.

(09:41):
And this is like some couple of years ago, and
he said, you're on that trajectory. And he said build
the right team, and he said build what God is
showing you.

Speaker 4 (09:53):
And when he said that, it just did something in me.

Speaker 3 (09:57):
And to have him because we're at a season and
where you gotta talk to the Dollers.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yeah, yeah, when you say that, that is who tolerance
to me.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
I gotta talk to the Jakes, and you gotta talk
to the open gotta talk to.

Speaker 4 (10:10):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (10:11):
You know the avadun like you have to sit with
those people. And it's not that we can't sit down here,
but when you're called up, you have to be talking
to people who are up.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Come on, say it again.

Speaker 3 (10:27):
When you're called up, you have to be talking to
people who are up, because if you go down, you
feel bad. You feel guilty for being up, survivors guilt
because now down makes you feel a certain type of way. Well,
I normally don't eat at places like this, and I mean,

(10:48):
I guess everything has to be like I'm sorry that
I want a good meal and again, and it's not
saying and that's what God is really training me to understand.

Speaker 4 (11:00):
That you can't go back to down. And I want
to be clear.

Speaker 3 (11:05):
That's not say that I can't come down to mountain,
to the mountain and speak to you, but I have
to understand that my conversations and my relationship.

Speaker 4 (11:14):
Has to be up.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
Yes, because everybody that's down don't don't want to do
the work.

Speaker 4 (11:23):
To be not just to be called up, but what
it requires to go up.

Speaker 3 (11:28):
Yeah, because there's a level, like the word that comes
to me, you have to abnegate, you have to deny
yourself to go up. There're sycrifices that you have to make.
There's things that you have to say no to yes
and say no with such a confidence to say Yep.
Maybe a good opportunity, but it's not for me.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yes. My friend told me that, she said, you say
no so easily, like that's my Favorit word no, because.

Speaker 4 (11:55):
What I say no to gives power to what I
say yes to.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
That's a word, Doc, you're preaching now, that's a word.

Speaker 3 (12:08):
It gives power to my yes. So I gotta say no.
I can't. I can't make that.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
Yeah, and I'm free exactly.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
You talk about sacrifices.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
What is one of the biggest sacrifices you've had to
make to be doctor King J.

Speaker 1 (12:25):
Barnett like to be who you are?

Speaker 4 (12:27):
Dying to myself every.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
Day daily, that's a daily thing, a daily.

Speaker 4 (12:31):
Thing, surrendering. Yeah, And I truly believe.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
My intercessor was talking to me the other day and
she said she was giving me this word that God
gave it for me. And she says, man, it's your
surrender that is provoking God to expand your territory. Yeah,
it's a surrender because Christal, that's time. I don't want
to I don't want to give a word. I don't

(12:56):
want to speak to the brothers because sometimes I need
a word. You know what I'm saying. There's times that
I walk in my door after men blowing up my
DM and you know what I'm saying. After the DNM
king episode there with Kirk Franklin, my brother love him
and what he's doing with his platform and the amount
of men that were blowing up my DMS man, and

(13:20):
I'm just like because when the episode hit, I was
in a good space mentally, but I wasn't in a
good space emotionally.

Speaker 4 (13:32):
Because emotionally my.

Speaker 3 (13:33):
Heart is like, man, dude, why do I have to
keep doing this alone? Emotionally mentally because of the athlete
and mean like let's go to.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
Work, Yes, yes, let's go to work.

Speaker 3 (13:46):
But emotionally, so all of these men are like, bro,
man this episode. Man, I got dudes streamshotting me that
they're booking therapy sessions after the episode. Wives are d
M and me said, you are helping me understand my husband. Wow,
this is what he's been trying to tell me.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
And sometimes you need to hear that from a different
perspective to understand.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
Yeah, man, mothers that is like doctor J can we
can I get my son? And I'm like, man, I
don't see patience and clients anymore, you know, and just
like trying to find resources for them.

Speaker 4 (14:25):
And I'm saying that, God, I need a resource.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
Come on, like Christy that week, that thing I needed
the biggest hug, Like I mean, I just needed the
physical embrace of nothing sexual, but just the connection of like, man,
let me hold you in this sex because because because
we don't hear men talk about that, I've had a

(14:53):
young lady that I was talking to and she says,
what do you think that you need? Mostly as you were,
I said, hug.

Speaker 4 (14:59):
Sometimes it's just embrace, not sexually.

Speaker 3 (15:01):
It ain't no no physical because I'm in a place
where it's like just what a hug does, the restoration
and even understanding that we need about four to six
hugs a daily as human beings. It's good for our
mental state.

Speaker 4 (15:17):
It's good.

Speaker 3 (15:18):
That's serotonin because when you get a hug, it creates
a sense of belonging and connection. And sometimes I feel
lonely doing the work because I look around at the
mountain top and there's not a lot of men that
think on this level. There's a lot of men that
are educational and they have the acimen educational, but the

(15:42):
spiritual thing that I have they don't have because I'm
not always moving clinically, you know, and theoretically. Sometimes it's
through revelation, you know what I'm saying. It's not information,
you know what I mean. So there's times where it's
like I need to be around somebody who understands a
shift spit, yeah, you know, and not always be so technical.

(16:03):
And I'm like, God, I need to be talk to
somebody about this dream I just had, right And I'll
call my mom and she'll be like she was like King,
Like she used to call me Keen.

Speaker 4 (16:14):
Now she called me Doc. She's Doc. You had her
dreams lately, as aid a.

Speaker 3 (16:18):
Matter of fact, Mama, because I don't want to bother
her with stuff like that. So, you know, I said, Mama,
you kept it processed something because if Mama go, you know, start.

Speaker 4 (16:29):
Digging, man. And she's and she's been.

Speaker 3 (16:32):
Digging a lot lately, really because when I'm on the
road a lot.

Speaker 4 (16:36):
She did.

Speaker 3 (16:37):
She said, how you feeling, Doc? I said, I'm all right, Mama,
you know, how was it?

Speaker 4 (16:43):
How was it meeting.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
I said it was good, Man, would blessing you know,
life da dah dah.

Speaker 4 (16:47):
And she'll be like, now, how.

Speaker 3 (16:49):
You really feeling? I said, Mama, Man, it's rough. Give
me the real I said, Mama is hard out here.
She'd be like, baby, I'm praying for you, man, I'm praying.
So it's coming. She coming.

Speaker 4 (17:06):
Listen, listen, Chris, I said, Mama, you said this five
years ago. Negro Stop.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
Where is she?

Speaker 4 (17:13):
Stop? Man?

Speaker 3 (17:14):
And we will laugh about it. But you know, that sycrifice, man,
is daily. I have to give it back to him.
And what we've been giving are gifts because what is
extraordinary to others, it's just ordered. We just do what
we do, you know. So the sycrifice is giving it

(17:36):
back to him. And I would say this to anybody
that if God has given you a gift the ministry,
a gift of business, a gift of arts, a gift
the law, a gift of political science, a gift of exercise, fitness,
whatever it is, give it back to him.

Speaker 4 (17:52):
Man.

Speaker 3 (17:53):
That's what keeps me humble because I'll never forget being
under that bed. So no amount of money, yeah, success, fame, whatever,
make me forget.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
That, forget that moment.

Speaker 3 (18:07):
And it's because because people are like, man, you so humble,
you so approached it. I'm like, I was under a
bed trying to die. Wow, how dare I put my
nose in the air like im? Because guess what, We're
all one phone call, one text, one conversation away from

(18:29):
being in a depressed state. Because all it takes is
a conversation for somebody to say, hey, the doctor on
the phone. You know what I'm saying, for somebody to say, hey,
so and so was an accident. Hey, we're gonna let
you go. So you you how how dare I?

Speaker 1 (18:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (18:46):
So when I tell brothers when they admire me, I'm like, brother.

Speaker 4 (18:51):
I'm still on my own journey.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:53):
Daily, I got to get on my knees and give
this thing back to him. I got to give my
flush back to him. Yeah, you know what I'm saying,
because you know what I mean. I want to be
outside too, not in that way, but you know there's
times I want to just go out left my hair.

Speaker 4 (19:06):
Now. You know, I'm not a drink or smoker, but.

Speaker 3 (19:08):
That's time I just want to be like you know what,
I want to go to a little chill spot, tonight.
But then I just got it. You can't go, Jane,
you can't go. So I got to curate a space
or or or I got to get with people like Crystal.

Speaker 4 (19:20):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
Where where secluded and where folks ain't got their phones out?

Speaker 2 (19:25):
Oh my goodness. We got to bring him on a
boat day. It's a good time. Man.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
Ain't no recordings?

Speaker 3 (19:33):
When I tell you, I love how you know that
space is where we can go in and it's just like,
ain't nobody man, and we all in the moment.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
I did that for my birthday last year.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
I did a basement party at my house and had
everybody signed N d a's and then.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
Yeah we couldn't You couldn't get downstairs with your phone.

Speaker 4 (19:49):
Yeah, yeah, I love it.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yeah, we had a ball.

Speaker 4 (19:52):
Listen, listen have you had have you had a dumb
shell podcast?

Speaker 1 (19:58):
I haven't know about love Michelle.

Speaker 3 (20:00):
So Michelle, you gotta do a podcast, Michelle, and I
like this man that is my dog man.

Speaker 4 (20:06):
I love Michelle. Michelle.

Speaker 3 (20:08):
One thing Michelle gonna call me Doc Apostle, Bishop Spangelists.
Make sure you got them in DA.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Make sure you listen. Sign them. Everybody listen. I don't
care how long you know on them.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
I made my family signed das before they come to
my house because a slipping fallen Zubie.

Speaker 4 (20:31):
I'm serious, man, Listen, Michelle, I love you man.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
Listen, and not now and now Chrystal, Now Chrystal telling
me about like listen, see don't getting them das together?

Speaker 1 (20:41):
Man, Yes, appearance releases and everything.

Speaker 3 (20:45):
Okay, listen, but it has been It's been a beautiful
journey though, to see what God has done in my
life and then and then too, just to be in
spaces like you, because to sit in the space with
you was like meeting another avenger.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
Wow. I love that.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
Yeah, like when we get together. Think about when you
get together with other gifted people yes, and spiritually sound yes,
and mentally grounded and emotional competent people.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yes, there's a shift.

Speaker 4 (21:19):
Yeah, we're like dang.

Speaker 3 (21:28):
Seriously, yeah, man, where you be And it's just such
a and it's such a restorative time.

Speaker 4 (21:36):
I'm encouraged being here today with you. Thank you. I'm encouraged.
I feel like though, for I feel like I can
run on.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
Come on now and see what you ain't gonna be
an You've accomplished so much.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
I'm so proud of you.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
But the latest thing you've done, you and doctor Joel
Tudman have acquired a four location health group.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
Tell you more about this.

Speaker 2 (21:54):
Because you've thrived in the mental health space via social
media and all over the world, but now you're bringing
it home to Dallas.

Speaker 4 (22:01):
Yes, it has been a god thing. You know.

Speaker 3 (22:06):
I've always wanted to own my own practice, but the
way this thing happened was truly a God thing. Sitting
in a meeting and in the midst of the meeting,
I'm sitting I felt the lady's shift in the meeting.
I felt, I said, man, this lady is a seer.
She paused the meeting and she says, doctor j I

(22:29):
just see you in this building and this programs and
I'm sitting there and all stuff that God has showed me.
And so she ended with that, and then she goes,
have you ever thought about owning your own mental health practice?

Speaker 4 (22:45):
I said no.

Speaker 3 (22:47):
She says, well, someone very close to me is selling
that practice. The husband is retiring and they want to
sell the practice. So make a loan story short. She says,
I'll put you guys in an email. I go visit
the lady, I go visit. The lady doesn't look like us.
Caucasian lady. Yeah, sit down. She had researched me. But

(23:11):
you know it's different when you meet somebody. We get
the talking and she says, what got you into mental health?
And I shared my story and she was just day
in tears and she said, you really love people, don't you.
I said absolutely. I said I don't care if they white, black,

(23:34):
you know, with color. I said, I love. I want
to see people well. And I said, more importantly, I
want to see men well. And she said to me,
she said, I would love to see more men come
into my practice. And the lady said, my practice is
listed at.

Speaker 4 (23:54):
One point two million revenue.

Speaker 3 (23:59):
And he says, but for you, I'll give it to
you half of that.

Speaker 1 (24:06):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
And I was like, so Joel, So Joel is in
town preaching. So we go to dinner. I said, bro,
I just had this meeting. This lady wants me to
consider buying a practice. And Joe, what dog you lie?
We gotta do it, man, I said, yeah, he said

(24:30):
we And so I said, he said, I mean, he said,
if you have me, he said yeah, I said, he said,
I said, what you want for I said, j T,
I got, I got fifty on me.

Speaker 4 (24:43):
Now, I said, real, j you'll see he's.

Speaker 3 (24:49):
Well no, because I already know he's going to be
polished doctor Joel that I love you, bro, But you know,
he was like now, So we started talking. So we
do a meeting and we meet with the owner and
her husband. So we meet with them. She sends an
email and she says, I want you guys to consider
buying my practice. I was like, So we go look

(25:13):
at all for the location beautiful, and this lady was
on him. So we got a team together to do
the due diligence, to look under the hood, to check the.

Speaker 4 (25:24):
Financials and the profit and losses. All of that.

Speaker 3 (25:27):
Everything checks out. So we were going to go the
SBA route. But then all of a sudden, the lady says,
make me an offer.

Speaker 4 (25:39):
Now.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
She gave us one number. Then she turned around and
said make her an offer.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
God all in the midst of this.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
Thing, I said, j T, Dog, I'm telling you man,
God is gonna do it. So Mama married. I took
she had a postcard. When we went by the first office,
he had a postcard. I took it home and put
it in the Bible and I lifted before God. I said, God,
if it's your will, yeah, I'll do it. But if

(26:12):
it's not, then I sent my Bible nowt and walked out.
My mother called me that night and said, dot God.

Speaker 4 (26:22):
Is going to give you that practice.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
Wow, I said, Mama, because it took.

Speaker 4 (26:29):
This process was about three months. Christians.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
If people don't understand, this.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
Is acquisitions is a lot of work. It's a lot
of work. And I'm in San Diego visiting my therapist.
I took eight days off. I said I need to
go by the water and pray. The second day I
was in San Diego, Jake with Joe. We got off
the phone and I said, Man, he said, Man, what

(26:54):
do you think. So the broker says, hey, somebody just
made us a cash offer, said man j T.

Speaker 4 (27:00):
The broker said the broke.

Speaker 3 (27:02):
I felt he was a little you know, I ain't
gonna say, but I didn't think he wanted us. So
the broker says, hey, doctor j Doctor Joe, somebody's made
a cash offer and the owner is going to review it.
And I told Joe, I said, man, bro we can
chock it up. Man, somebody will make her cash offer.
Man I said, she don'na take that. Joe Man, trust

(27:24):
God Man, I said, j T, I trust God, but
right now it's white man. I said, j T, I
trust God. But bro I'm just The next morning, I
get an email from the broker. The owner accepted, y'all offer.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
Trust God Man.

Speaker 4 (27:47):
So I call him right I'm on east coat.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
I mean, I'm on the west coast, so it's I'm like,
it's six o'clock my time.

Speaker 4 (27:53):
I'm at the gym, so I'm hype ready. I'm like crying.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
I call him. I think he's in and flow, so
he's like three hours ahead. Yeah, I said, j T,
you ain't gonna bleed it what I said, she accepted
the offer. You Oh, I love my brother. I told

(28:18):
you God, we're gonna do this thing.

Speaker 4 (28:21):
And sure enough.

Speaker 3 (28:21):
Man, this lady Crystal, she told me, h at our meeting,
she said, I have fifteen.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Offers because people want that.

Speaker 3 (28:33):
She said, I had fifteen offers, but it was you
guys the entire time.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
I know it was your heart for the people, and
that's what she said.

Speaker 3 (28:43):
She said, venture capitalists so many people that offer money
because the revenue and the upside is astronomical. But she
said it was your heart, you and doctor Joe and
the business actmen, and just the integrity that you guys
move in. And I said, what made you choose us?

(29:06):
She said, you guys were always a right choice. She
said I had fifteen cash offers. And she said, I'm
excited to see what you guys do with my baby.
She says, I'm not going anywhere. She said, I want
you guys to lead it. I want you guys to
expand it, diversify it, and all the things, and so man,

(29:27):
when I tell you.

Speaker 4 (29:29):
And then.

Speaker 3 (29:31):
About three weeks ago, I get a call from a
brother who's a pastor, who calls and says, hey, man,
why didn't you tell.

Speaker 4 (29:40):
Me what you and Joel was doing. I said, well,
I had to call you first.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
And he said, I'm calling you because I have a
building that's paid for in Chicago. And he said, what
do you want to do with it? I said, definitely
mental health. He said, either you could take a whole floor,
you could take the whole building. I said, man, what's
it like. I said, what's the catch? He said, that's

(30:04):
no catch. He says, I live in New York and
he said, I own a lot of property.

Speaker 4 (30:11):
Jay and I want to give you this building.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
Gave me the building. He said, I want to give
you the deed. He said, come look at it. I
want you to walk through it. Wow, he said, I
want you. And then another brother called this is. Another
brother called wow and said, brother, how much money do
you need? I said, I don't need nothing. He said,
I just want to get behind what you're doing. This

(30:37):
brother said, well, when you do it, just know that
you got a million dollars behind the next project. My God,
there's nothing, just walking in faith and just trusting God.

Speaker 4 (30:50):
When he told me to go back to school.

Speaker 1 (30:52):
Yeah yeah, and look what yes, obedience.

Speaker 4 (30:57):
He told me. God told me to go back to school.
In twenty fifty, did you question that? Why do I
do it?

Speaker 3 (31:03):
And I was working in a group home, volunteer for
all girls group home, and I had a program for
girls that were battling anxiety and depression. And Alisa Jarrett,
the director of Black Women, she said, Jay, you need
to go back to school. She said, Jay, you good
at this. You need to be a therapist. I said,
Miss Alicia, by this time I had been in therapy.

(31:25):
I was thirty three years old. She said, Jay, I said,
Miss Alicia. I'm thirty three. I ain't going back no school.

Speaker 4 (31:30):
Man.

Speaker 3 (31:30):
If this bachelors don't do it, I can't. I can't
do it. I went home and God arrested me. God said,
go back to school. Something is coming, That's what he said.
This is twenty fifteen, twenty twenty.

Speaker 1 (31:45):
For therapy was even like before therapy, come.

Speaker 3 (31:50):
On now, and twenty twenty happened, and George Floyd passed,
and I started talking about mental health and black men
to Roder. She came across my video, brought me on
her team.

Speaker 4 (32:05):
Dropped just he'll Bro.

Speaker 3 (32:06):
Right after that, in August, I'm writing just here Bro,
just because God told me, he said, write it down.
I heard the name just here Bro. I wrote the book.
A year later, Meet Hope Allen turned Just here Bro
into a tour.

Speaker 4 (32:19):
We do.

Speaker 3 (32:20):
We tour three years, thirty six cities, eighteen thousand men.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (32:26):
Then you know what I'm saying. I get a book deal.
Then it's like all this just And I heard God
say to me, your obedience has provoked me the same
as abraham obedience provoked him.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
Yes, And I'm always been fascinated by Abraham because it's like,
how do you, how do you be called a friend
of God? Yes, right to be considered a friend. And
I was asking God. He said, the.

Speaker 4 (32:54):
Way he trusts me, trust the way he trusts him.

Speaker 3 (32:58):
To say, Hey, the very son that I gave you,
I'm not calling you the psychophicer.

Speaker 1 (33:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (33:04):
But to think that abraham faith was so strong in
God that he was walking in faith and didn't even
know it because he looked at the scripture said, he
looked at his servant and said, me and the lad
are going to worship and we will be.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
Back down because he knew not.

Speaker 4 (33:22):
Knowing that there was a ram in the bush.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
Yes, he had faith. That's different kind of faith, that's different.

Speaker 3 (33:28):
So when he told me to go, I was I
was in a relationship, engaged at thirty three.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (33:36):
And I'm like I'm going back, like we're godege to what?

Speaker 3 (33:40):
And I'm like, you know, I just hear God, Jay,
Really you heard God?

Speaker 4 (33:47):
Not oh man?

Speaker 3 (33:49):
Like, and this is talking to people about what God
has said to you, Man is so dangerous.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
No, seriously, I learned.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
That because it was just like it broke my spirit,
it broke my confidence.

Speaker 4 (34:02):
And then she did call me when I was on
Shearon Shepard Show. She texted me.

Speaker 3 (34:05):
She DM me matter of fact, it said to watch
a man walk in what God said?

Speaker 4 (34:12):
She says, Jay, she's married now and so God bless her.

Speaker 3 (34:18):
But she said, Jay, the respect that I have for
you because I've never seen a man walk in something
that he felt laying to do. Yeah, And I said,
when God saved my life, I'm like, I know I
don't owe God, but I've always felt that and I
had known the choice, but the trust that's how we

(34:41):
got here. I told Joe.

Speaker 4 (34:42):
I was like Nigga, I said, Bro, I woke up
the other morning and I said, j T what he'd
be like.

Speaker 3 (34:51):
Sometimes I love a begger. Sometimes he because he had
so much going on. What I said, Bro, we really
own yes practice.

Speaker 2 (35:01):
It's crazy, and I want people to understand because I
have a friend whose family owns a really big one
here in Atlanta. To understand one how hard it is
to get it from the ground up. People would cut
off a left foot to have somebody who's already built
it up and say, here are my books, here's the business,
like the hard.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
Part is already over. Like literally, they don't understand how
hard it is.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
Lady built this thing for nine years. Yeah, and she
is willingly handed and over.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
Yes, yeah, that is that in itself is a huge blessing.

Speaker 3 (35:35):
I'm just like, you know, we was like we have
weekly calls with her because you know, she's going to
stay on until, you know, till she fully transitioned out.

Speaker 4 (35:43):
And she said to us, she says, guys, I'm not
going anywhere.

Speaker 3 (35:46):
I'm gonna be right here, you know, because I'm like,
you know, we assembling a great team.

Speaker 4 (35:50):
Yeah, and she's so excited for us.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
That's amazing.

Speaker 4 (35:54):
Yeah, Like she gets on the call, guys, how do
y'all feel being older?

Speaker 1 (35:59):
What's her name?

Speaker 4 (36:00):
Name is Rebecca?

Speaker 2 (36:01):
Rebecca Man, how do you guys feel?

Speaker 4 (36:05):
And Jobby.

Speaker 3 (36:09):
Man, Oh, it's scary And I'm like, Rebecca, I'm like,
I don't know, like it's so surreal.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (36:17):
And I love the way God deals with me because
he said, believe.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
It, you believe it.

Speaker 3 (36:21):
Yeah, Studio Beatings that I put you in this position
because because I'm like, now, because we're looking to expand
not only in Chicago but in Florida.

Speaker 4 (36:32):
And God said, I've already made the way, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
But I've always had this faith about God that was
restored through therapy. Even when I was a kid with
my parents divorced, we grew up in Mississippi, and I
told my mom, I said, you got to get us
out of here.

Speaker 4 (36:51):
And my mom said, baby, I don't know where we're going.

Speaker 3 (36:53):
So it was either Memphis because we live North Mississippi,
which is like an hour from Memphis.

Speaker 4 (36:58):
Memphis is just second cousin Mississippy. I said, So we
went to Texas to visit some of her friends.

Speaker 3 (37:06):
And this was in July, for the fourth of July
in nineteen ninety six, and I said, Mama, I would
like to move to Texas. Jay, we ain't moving. My
mom had a great job. So I started packing stuff
in the house.

Speaker 4 (37:23):
True story true.

Speaker 3 (37:25):
I started packing stuff in the house, boxing it up,
boxing it up, and my mama came home one day.
Jay stopped boxing up my stuff. Boy, I said, Mama,
we moving. I said, God said, we moving. Mama, I'm
telling you we're getting out of here. Because I did
not want to go to ninth grade in Mississippi. Man like,
I was like, Mama, I do not want to I
do not want to go to school here. Because my parents'

(37:47):
divorce was so public and there was such shame around it,
and I knew my mom did not want to stay
there because she was the first lady and everybody knew
what had happened when it went down, And I can
feel her shame even at the age of thirteen. Man,
my mama came home August tenth. This is my mind

(38:08):
remembers these days. August tenth, she pulled in the yard
with a U Haul truck. Wow, I said, Mama, she said,
She said, I said, Mama, what you do?

Speaker 4 (38:21):
She had got a severage package from her job.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (38:25):
Her vehicle that she had. She had to give it
back to the job. She couldn't take it out of state.
And by the time she walked through the house, she said,
this board and packed up all my stuff. My neighbor
the month, Lamont Thomas said, came over from the neighborhood.

(38:46):
He was my classmate. He said, JJ, where y'all going.
I said, man, we're going to take He started crying.
He was like, man, my man, my friend leave it.
Because he lived directly across the street. He came over
and helped us pack the truck. My mama drove that
U Haul truck Texas. So my faith has and God

(39:07):
brought me to my faith in therapy. When I started healing,
he said, remember what I did.

Speaker 2 (39:13):
Remember the same way those takes playback of the bad times.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
You got to remember how God got it you. Yeah,
that's real.

Speaker 4 (39:22):
So I never forget that. And how easily do we forget?

Speaker 2 (39:27):
Very easy? Oh my goodness, we get him the real quick.
But he'll remind you.

Speaker 3 (39:33):
Faithful Christ he is even when we're not faithful, even
when we are not on the right path. And I
had to learn even when we're on the wrong path,
we're on the right path because again he's the author
the finish it. So you may be over here, don't worry.
And that's what I love about him, man, that he's
not he's not he's not sadistic. He's not trying to

(39:57):
punish us and trying to kill us. He's just trying
to prune us. You know what I'm saying. For assignment,
So that that that my life is a completely faith journey.
I'm like, yeah, God, I got faith for everything, but
this whole spouse thing, Like I don't know what's happening
in that day.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
She's coming, Jaye, We're gonna touch a degree right nowsten.

Speaker 3 (40:19):
I need to touch agree with your crystal couse. Everybody's
been saying she's coming. Man, Listen, listen, I'm saying this.

Speaker 4 (40:25):
I'm it. Wasn't she come or not? I'm okay, And you.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
Know what I feel like when you get there, she's
gonna come. That's right me too. I'm like, I'm good.

Speaker 4 (40:35):
I'm good. I'm good, so good.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
That is so true.

Speaker 3 (40:39):
I am good, man, I am good. I'm in my forties, thriving.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (40:45):
No, I'm in my thirties.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
I'm in my twenties.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
She's twenty five. I'm thirty two. Y'all remember that, thirty two,
twenty five. So you in my birthday next year and
you go, Jay happy, thirty third.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
There we go.

Speaker 3 (40:58):
Do not ask me what my birthday? Well, my numbers,
I'm telling you right now it's thirty two.

Speaker 4 (41:04):
Yeah. I'm at peace, man.

Speaker 1 (41:05):
I love that.

Speaker 4 (41:06):
I'm at peace. Man.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
You have to be.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
I think that's important to find peace wherever you are
in your life, you know, and then everything that's supposed
to become.

Speaker 3 (41:14):
Yeah, I ain't, Crystal, I ain't worried about nothing, be anxious,
anxious for nothing, that's it. Pray about everything. Yes, I
gotta go to bed, baby, because we looking good for
twenty five thirty two. Listen, and so I don't need
no bags under my eyes. I got just a little
great specs.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
This is all my one in my age right here.
I'll be pulling it out though no I got like,
is it a gray?

Speaker 3 (41:39):
I'm like no, you like you know, listen, I just
got a little dash of salt in my beard.

Speaker 4 (41:45):
Other than that, this is none of my hand. Here
is great. Like I may got a little, but I'm
not going to let these folk grade me out.

Speaker 2 (41:51):
I know that's right. Listen, because they will. You saw
I would have no Obama. That man came in with
a full head of black hair and left out.

Speaker 4 (42:01):
Hey, that's stress to do it.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
But it will do it. It's a real thing. It's
a real thing.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
Speaking of stress and balance, you have a new book
called Pursuing Pace.

Speaker 4 (42:11):
Oh man, it's all.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
About the pace.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
People feel like this marathon is about sprinting, but that
pace is everything.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
Let's talk about that.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
So Pursuing Pace drops in twenty twenty seven. I signed
with Pingrain Random House. I'm so excited about this project.
But this book came about in twenty twenty three. Oh wow,
I was on the road touring, you know, pouring into men,
and I was.

Speaker 4 (42:37):
Sleep literally woke up in my bed, set up in
my bed and.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
Heard pursue pace, and God was telling me to slow now,
not stop, but slow now. Pace doesn't mean you're going slow.
It means you have to find a rhythm. Yeah, And
so I'm excited for people and pace. It's also that
I created a new acronym for it is the pathways

(43:02):
to alleviating cognitive exhaustion. Most of us are exhausted cognitively
and we cannot make health these decisions because we're so
tired exhausted. So in this book, man, I am talking
about finding your pace. I'm talking about discovering rhythm. But

(43:22):
then I'm also talking about not comparing your race to others,
you know what I mean. So I think and I'm
sharing stories because again I'm going back to Bishop. Bishop
was hard on me when I was on tour. He said,
you better slow down because man, I was just poor
and poor and poored and took sick, took sick.

Speaker 4 (43:45):
I was on stage and forgot everything.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
On stage, forgot everything, and had a mental breakdown at
home and checked myself into an institution in San Diego
and that when it became real at that moment and
went into the doctor. And I've shared this especially brothers.
I'm thirty two, but I'm for you brothers that are

(44:09):
thirty five plus and forty plus go to the doctor
like brothers think just because women are aging. And again,
you know, I had the opportunity to walk with my mother.
She's had a hysterectomy. And again I'm the only son
that at the time caring for her perimenopause when it

(44:30):
started happening. My bachelor's in science and anatomy physiology, so
I understood the reproductive system and helping her understand because
there was this fear that she had about going to
the doctor and having that procedure. And so what is
happening with the body is the body is changing hormonally.
And men think that's just happening to women, but it's

(44:52):
happened in us. Two brothers, you know what I mean.
When your testars level starts, the lord starts to dip,
you see, man breast starts to protrude, that's estrogen.

Speaker 4 (45:03):
Because our body is taking a change, you know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (45:06):
So what is happening is the woman, the estrogen levels
are increasing, so which is shifting her harmonally? And if
she doesn't have a good diet and she doesn't have
a healthy environment because some things are environmental, and then
her body begins to shift. So you know, paramental pauses.
You don't have clarity of thought. How it works for men,

(45:28):
is your test levels drop? The brothers you might want
to hear this. Your soldier don't start to march and
he's not standing up. And when your soldier ain't standing up,
he ain't march. And guess what, You're going to fall
into a depression because your testasion levels are low, your
testasional level is low.

Speaker 4 (45:44):
You don't have the grit.

Speaker 3 (45:46):
So rather than working out or getting up to doing
stuff yourself, you come home and hop right on the
couch or you stroll, you know what I mean. So
my tests and again I've interviewed my doctor on my
show Doctor Jill Phenomenal. I was picking up weight and
I was working out, I was eating right, and I
was just like man and then like I got on

(46:08):
stage and forgot, I was having this mental breakdown. I
went in, I took sick because I developed vertigo from traveling.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 3 (46:17):
Got on stage to speak, and the whole sanctuary I
was in the church started spinning. I had to go
to my hotel room and lay down because that vertigo
is something serious.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:30):
I go in my doctor. She gives me something to
help with it. Because I had fluid. I had double
ear infection. Wow, because I lost forty five percent of
my hearing in my left ear as a kid, So
I've always battled with ear infections. I am the worst.
I go do a full blood panel, go through everything.

(46:51):
My blood pressure was high and I'm not a person
who eat bad. Yeah, my cholesterol everything, and Yiel and
that little chair scootered over to me. She tapped me
on his knee because I was sick as a dog.

Speaker 4 (47:08):
She said, baby, you sick and your body's breaking down
on you.

Speaker 3 (47:14):
So the average man test level should be between eight
hundred to twelve hundred. Maximum output for young males is
in your twenties, and it starts to dip after thirty five.

Speaker 4 (47:28):
My test levels.

Speaker 3 (47:29):
I'm not shamed to say this because I got stopped
touring and got in the gym and relieve the stress,
because touring is stressful.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
It is.

Speaker 3 (47:38):
And then I'm speaking into four hundred, five hundred, six
hundred men who've never heard anything about mental health, who's
letting go of pain trauma that they've been holding on.

Speaker 4 (47:50):
And I'm taking all that in.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
My test Starship levels was two thirty five. Wow, two
thirty five.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
You said between the eight hundred and.

Speaker 3 (48:03):
They should be between eight hundred and twelve hundred two
thirty five. Yeah, And she said, Jay, you've got to change.
I didn't take her speaking engagement for four months.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
Good for you.

Speaker 3 (48:21):
And I met my trainer, brnnis out of Florida. When
Joe went to Florida to pastor and I said, Bro,
I need some help. And this is a black man
who understand aging. Brother looks phenomen at forty five. Put
me on some natural supplements. Change my eating habits because

(48:41):
we can't eat the same thing as we're aging.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
We can't. Yeah, even though we're.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
Thirty five, you know what I'm saying, You though we're
twenty five, thirty two. Like you used to get eat
a cookie at eighteen, wake up shredded.

Speaker 4 (48:51):
Listen cookie today you ain't gonna be able to get
on pants tonight?

Speaker 1 (48:56):
Right? Where is the lie?

Speaker 4 (49:03):
So my thing? I had my.

Speaker 3 (49:07):
PSA level check, prostate cancer, all that. Brothers, go get
that stuff checked out.

Speaker 4 (49:12):
Man. The average life expectancy of a black man is
sixty one.

Speaker 3 (49:16):
Point five today, so young, twelve years younger than our counterparts.
White men life expectancy is seventy two point four. Is
they're living twelve years longer.

Speaker 4 (49:32):
Wow. So mental health is physical health.

Speaker 3 (49:36):
Yeah, And Pursuing Pace came from that because Bishop said,
if you don't pace yourself, you're not gonna make it.
And that's where that book came from. So I'm breaking
down what exhaustion do. I'm breaking down how to find pace,
how to be comfortable with pace, because I think that
there's a level of patience that you have to exude

(50:00):
pace because sometimes when we're pacing ourselves, we can feel
like we're behind. Baby, I ain't chasing nothing. Yeah, if
it don't have a flow, I don't force it. I
believe like I believe it flowing, not force it. So
that pursuing pace, Man, I'm so excited about this book.
Like when we when we got on the call with
Random House, ping a Random House and they read the

(50:20):
book reposal.

Speaker 4 (50:21):
They was like, Jay, we need this book.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
Like yesterday, right, So when are we getting it twenty
twenty seven.

Speaker 4 (50:26):
That was they was like, we can't.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
They was like they wanted to push it out to
twenty twenty six, but they was like, twenty twenty seven.
But I think the timing of it when it releases,
it's gonna be perfect.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
Yeah, So you gotta take your time with that kind
of stuff.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
Because by that time, Chris, we would have been in
this administration about two years. People look at the pace,
we're gonna need it, So we're gonna need it.

Speaker 4 (50:50):
Yes, but I'm excited about that book.

Speaker 3 (50:52):
But I share that to the Brothers man, and now
my level is like, I mean, like Brenda's man got
me to eat and write. He moved my diet to
keto and when I'm traveling. When I'm traveling, he was like, keto, man,
did you get.

Speaker 1 (51:07):
The keto flu? Like you know how people go keto?

Speaker 3 (51:11):
Like? Because when I did my blood work, my body
responds better to fast, like, responds better to fast avocado
nuts and stuff like that.

Speaker 4 (51:23):
My body responds better to and that man.

Speaker 3 (51:27):
Like and because I'm like, I'm working out and doctor
Jill said, your body is in a fight or flight
because when your stress levels are hot, your body releases
the hormone quartosol, So the cortosol makes you hold on
to everything, so you can be doing hours of cardio.

Speaker 4 (51:46):
Every Body is like mm hmmm, yep.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
And that's why releasing that stress because I had been
holding on all of those men stories.

Speaker 4 (51:58):
Yeah, and when I.

Speaker 3 (51:59):
Started releasing that thing, detoxing because I had to learn
how to not take it home. And it was so bad.
Christ one of my friends, came to my house. I
was just sitting on my floor crying. She's like, she
didn't even know what to say. I was like, man,
because I just was carrying all these men and it
was just so hard. But now I got my system.

(52:21):
I get off stage, baby, if stays right there. Yeah,
I had something come home with me.

Speaker 4 (52:27):
One night.

Speaker 3 (52:30):
I had a it was it was a suicide spirit
that a brother had on him. The spiritual folks would
appreciate this. I have a gun in my closet. The
spirit was so strong. I had to go in my
closet because when I go off the road, I go
on my office and I you know, unpacked clothes. The

(52:50):
gun was in the closet. I was I didn't want
to go in the closet. The spirit was so strong,
and I was wrestling with it because that was so evasive.

Speaker 4 (53:02):
Yeah, I mean, it was.

Speaker 3 (53:03):
Just like everywhere I turned, I was just hearing his voice. Man,
I wouldn't grab that blessed all. I said, listen, I
don't know who you came off of. And I remember
the brother. I can see the brother's face who was
telling me that he came to the tour that night
and he was playing on taking his life that night,
and he came to the session that night just to

(53:25):
see if what I was talking about work.

Speaker 4 (53:28):
So he gets relieved. And it's because that's a real thing.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
Now, that's a real thing.

Speaker 4 (53:34):
So I'm wrestling. I didn't.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
I'm like.

Speaker 3 (53:37):
I called my mom and by the time I called her,
you know, she was sleep so and I know how
to praise, so I'm like, man, I got that blessed
all man by the time she called me.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
I said, baby, I'm good now, because because I couldn't sleep,
I tried to lay it down.

Speaker 3 (53:52):
And man, that thing was wrestling man. And my place
overlooks some water.

Speaker 4 (53:57):
Man.

Speaker 3 (53:57):
I opened the door and it's just a looted to
come in. I said, listen, I don't know where you
came from Nigro. You got to get up out of
here because I gotta go to bed. I gotta go
to bed man and that thing broke, I know, annoying
at my door, my couch, my clothes. People don't realize
these spirits. Mental health is so much spiritual. We often

(54:22):
think this stuff is spiritual you because you see people
coming to therapy, I know in my and when I
was practicing, and their entire face had change after the
session because that thing would have been broken off us.
Because when that spirit get around some oil or get

(54:46):
around something that's that's gonna break it off of them
and not something that's gonna perpetuate it and feed it.
And that's why it's hard for a lot of these
people to break these these emotional ties and these trauma
bonds and these different times that they have with people
and experiences. It's because they're around and or they're in
an environment that's feeding it.

Speaker 4 (55:07):
Yep. Because if you feed that.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Master, listen, and you have to be very cognizant of
what you're feeding, because I'm telling you, they'll creep up.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
You'll be thinking I'm good, I'm good, and then like
WHOA where did that come from?

Speaker 2 (55:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (55:19):
And you just gotta be like man.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
Die daily to the flesh, because they will pop up.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
They will.

Speaker 3 (55:26):
Let me tell you something. I can be around somebody
right now and I can quickly desern they spirit ain't right.
And I ain't gonna say nothing to you or nothing.
I'm just gonna go ahead and move around.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
You feel it, Yeah, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (55:37):
It's a disturbance.

Speaker 1 (55:42):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (55:43):
I remember when I said, do you feel like it?
Like sometimes you can be around people you feel that distaste.
It's also you get that same feeling when people's spirit
isn't right.

Speaker 1 (55:52):
I can it's lily like a something just ain't right
and I don't like it. Yeah, and I have to
stay away from people like that. I can't do it.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
But you feel it, especially when you really tapped tim
with the Lord. He not even gonna let them get
too close to you. He's gonna let you feel and
you be like, okay, and.

Speaker 4 (56:07):
Then he's gonna let your spirit discern it.

Speaker 3 (56:09):
And as I said, we all need to be operated
with the level of sagacity, just sophisticated way of saying desernment.

Speaker 4 (56:15):
Yes, but we.

Speaker 3 (56:16):
Have to operate with that man absolutely, because there are
some people that the enemy is planting.

Speaker 2 (56:25):
Yeah, because they know your assignment, the devil, know what
God wants you to do.

Speaker 1 (56:30):
So he's like, oh, oh he really serious about the Lord.

Speaker 2 (56:32):
Oh she really okay, So she's taking this serious now
like I had her last year.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
She was straddling.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
I had a one foot in and one foot out.
Oh but she for real. Now that's when he really be.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
Like, let me see how serious you are, and he
will come at you.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
Listen, he tried to sink in. Yes, Dad dropped my
phone on my foot. I said, all right, Lord, I
heard you. I said, good Lord, get your attention real
quid barefoot too.

Speaker 1 (56:59):
That thing hurt. I said, I got it.

Speaker 4 (57:04):
But.

Speaker 2 (57:08):
Listen, gotta get your TENTIONU real quick. I said, I
got it.

Speaker 4 (57:14):
I got it.

Speaker 1 (57:19):
That would be no, but you serious. I'm telling y'all.

Speaker 3 (57:25):
God.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
And it was so.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
I didn't have nothing in my hands. I was just
walking to the bathroom when the thought came.

Speaker 1 (57:31):
And my phone went Bamo's high. Okay, Now that was
too quick. I was like, got it. It was like
one of impossible. You don't you do that.

Speaker 3 (57:42):
I'm like, oh man, oh man, oh my gosh, man.
When I tell you our lives are so parallel. Man, geez,
oh my gosh, it's so parallel.

Speaker 4 (57:54):
No, seriously is man.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
Because it's been like twin Where have you been? Like,
I'm like YouTube, it's like Spider Man like, oh man,
I have really enjoyed.

Speaker 3 (58:09):
Man, this has been awesome. Thank you.

Speaker 2 (58:13):
In closing, I have one last question, Jay, how are
you feeling today?

Speaker 4 (58:19):
I'm feeling restored, man, I'm feeling restored.

Speaker 3 (58:23):
Uh. I came here with my friend Crystal and we
were able to bless the good people. Hope something that
would share has inspired you. But I feel encouraged to
meet a woman of your caliber that's on this beautiful
journey of blessing people, inspiring people, motivating them all the things.

(58:44):
But just to see a woman who's authentically herself in
her vein and you're doing it with God. Oh man,
that's so like you know what I mean, that's so dope.
And so I'm just I just feel, you know, like
I said, I feel like I can run on because, uh,
you know, the past couple of weeks have been very

(59:04):
challenging for me emotionally, and again it's I'm not in
a bad place, but emotionally today I feel like my
tank has been feeled my cup has been filled, just
to have a conversation with someone who.

Speaker 4 (59:17):
Gets it absolutely.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
And I love that you feel that way because a
lot of times you can like feel somebody else up
and you feel depleted.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
But I feel full as well. So thanks, oh man, this.

Speaker 4 (59:28):
We were equally pouring today. Yeah, yeah, so this is.

Speaker 1 (59:30):
Great, amazing all right, So we're going to do positive outcomes.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
We haven't done this in a while, so we thought
this would be a great time to do it with King.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
With doctor Jay Barnett. We got a doctor in a house, y'all.
He can really give us some good advice.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
Tammy Coleman writes, have you ever denied your faith due
to it possibly affecting your career or a role? Your
walk with Christ is very encouraging and touches a lot
of people. Have you ever struggled with accepting a role
or opportunity because it didn't align with your faith? Or
have you wanted to bring faith in God into a character?
I was raising holiness all my life. The struggle is real, Tammy.

(01:00:13):
That is a great question. I've never denied my faith.
I've always bring my faith into every character. Now I
have denied a role because it did not align with
my faith. There are certain things I just won't do,
you know. I have my hard lines in the same
where these are the places I won't cross one because
stuff lives out there forever and now in the world
of AI, they can take something and be like, wait,

(01:00:35):
I didn't do that, and like did you or did
you not? You know, because it looks so real now
you can't really tell. So I'm very mindful and cognizant
of the things that I will allow to be seen
on my body on camera or the roles. I won't
do anything demonic unless it is something that draws back
to Christ, you know, Like I won't play films like
that unless it has to come back around and say

(01:00:57):
that because we do deal with those demons are.

Speaker 1 (01:00:59):
Real imitation man, Yes, it's life.

Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
Yeah, So like I want to be really careful with that.
I don't do like horror stuff. I want everything I
do to have some type of redemptive story, you know,
even certain roles on play I'm like, okay, like the
movie I just did. What lesson are people taking from this?
How are we changing lives? Yes, this is something that
really happens, but the way it ends it just kind

(01:01:22):
of leads us like that was horrific, but what message
are we going to give to them? So we end
up changing the ending. But it's things like that, like
really having an input and saying, hey, when this thing
goes black at the end of the credits role, we
want people to feel changed. So I'm really big on that.
And also, yes, of course, bringing faith and God into

(01:01:43):
a character. We just did this season nine of Sisters. Deval,
who plays Zach, was going through something and he had
just lost a child on the show, and.

Speaker 1 (01:01:54):
For team was trying everything.

Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
She tried to make his favorite tacos, and she tried
to seduce him, like all the things, and then finally
she just looks up and she grabs the Bible and
was like this is what you need, you know. And
those are the ways that we bring faith in God
into the characters. But yeah, definitely, but nothing is worth
sacrificing or sabotaging my relationship with Christ over a role

(01:02:17):
or anything. And that's something that even as I grow
closer to God, just being like very aware of the
roles that I take on. Because you're an actor as well,
so you understand like sometimes like how you talk about
we empty ourselves and bring on so we can live
fully in that character, also understanding certain characters we just
cannot take on because the soul doesn't know the difference.
My mind don't either, you know, because when you really

(01:02:40):
started like, oh we crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
You know? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, man, anything you want to
add to.

Speaker 3 (01:02:46):
That, Yeah, I just the film that I have coming
out next year, Harry Hines.

Speaker 4 (01:02:51):
I play.

Speaker 3 (01:02:53):
It's two roles, and so one I'm this loving husband
who's trying to become a detective. But then it's an
AI sci fi film and so but on the other end,
I don't know that my wife was a part of
this team because they basically planned to chipping me to

(01:03:14):
rea ability to rehabilitate me. So when the character shifts
back to who he really is, I'm basically the psychopath.

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
Oh wow, that's interesting.

Speaker 3 (01:03:26):
So I took a lot of prayer, like because you know,
I have a very you know, gory scene of taking
somebody's life and and he Sadarius is I mean, he's
a killer and he enjoys it. And man, let me
tell you, I had to pray about two weeks after
that after yeah, because you know, it was intense during

(01:03:46):
the process and It's a great film by Q and
Coder uh team that I'm excited for people to see.
Harry Hines is his famous street in Dallas where prostitution, drug, anything,
you name it, you can find on Harry Heines.

Speaker 1 (01:04:00):
Oh wow.

Speaker 3 (01:04:01):
So yeah, it is a great film. But that that
is so real. And I took it because I wanted
to be stretched. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:04:09):
Yeah, in in in my space of acting. Uh so.

Speaker 3 (01:04:13):
But but I'm with you, man, like just certain things
that I'm not gonna do.

Speaker 4 (01:04:18):
You know what I'm saying. I just uh, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:04:21):
Demonic stuff like I just because when you think about
like when you think about a Lea, right, I always
think about her role in.

Speaker 4 (01:04:29):
The Queen of Down like and that was her last
that was her last role.

Speaker 3 (01:04:34):
And I'm not saying that, you know, I'm not, don't
you all take I'm just saying like, I would.

Speaker 4 (01:04:39):
Never forget that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:04:40):
And I remember because I was a huge elea fan god,
a huge live fan.

Speaker 4 (01:04:47):
Four page letter man a god.

Speaker 1 (01:04:49):
I used to do the beat on the lunchroom table man.

Speaker 3 (01:04:52):
Listen, I could listen. I would write listen. I would
have write a four page letter to somebody listen right now.
But but but that thought always come to me, Crystal,
like yeah, because just that art imitation of lit it
lives on, you know, because I'll.

Speaker 4 (01:05:09):
Be thinking, what did you open the door to?

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
That's real? What did you open the door too?

Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
Because we hear we've heard so many actors say like
I think Damnseon talked about it like now they kind
of scared me. I was like, you did what like
inviting so that you can invite? Oh yeah, because now
you need deliverance.

Speaker 1 (01:05:35):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta be real.

Speaker 3 (01:05:37):
I remember when I was when when Sedaris was having
a scene and the director CJ. You know, they was
asking me what I wanted to listen to, And I
can remember myself being on second we filmed like seven
straight days, fourteen hour days, and I was listening to
Scarface the Hands of a Dead Body, and I had

(01:05:59):
to keep it on repeat to go into.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
That space because naturally that's not what you are.

Speaker 3 (01:06:03):
Like you know what I'm saying to to just walk
up to some joking and just yea and my poor
mama boy, She's say, boy, you always got me praying for.

Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
Like need something else now?

Speaker 3 (01:06:20):
Yeah, So I like that's why I rock with you, man,
because I respect what you representing, what you stand for.

Speaker 4 (01:06:26):
Because some people just like just whatever role.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
I'm like, I'll do whatever. Yeah, No, how can I
serve the character?

Speaker 4 (01:06:34):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:06:35):
Mm hmmm, because like you said, we got to go
home at night, we have to go some of these
stuff go home with you, Yes, asked Heath.

Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
Legend exactly, and we can't. Now you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:06:48):
God is so phenomenal actor and he even talked about
about that role.

Speaker 1 (01:06:55):
Yes, it stays with you. Yeah, and that's that's so true.

Speaker 2 (01:06:59):
So yeah, that's that's what I was Tammy Coleman, thank
you so much for writing in But that was a
great add on.

Speaker 4 (01:07:04):
Who do you have so Wes.

Speaker 3 (01:07:06):
Wes said, I had a mental breakdown five years ago
during the pandemic. I didn't know what was happening to me.
I sought therapy and was blessed to find two female therapists.
In the past five years, I have grown so much
during that time, but I feel like something is still missing. Recently,
I have been pondering if a male therapist would feel

(01:07:27):
that missing piece. Not sure if it's the delivery or perspective.
I would like to hear your advice on the difference
when it comes to male and female therapists.

Speaker 4 (01:07:37):
That's good, oh man, Wes, that's good.

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
For one, I want to say, I want to if
you're a brother, you know, a man, because again people
names Wes, And for one, I commend you on going
to therapy and seeking out help.

Speaker 4 (01:07:52):
But I want to.

Speaker 3 (01:07:53):
Say, if you feel that you're still missing something, I
think that may be an opportunity for you to Lord,
what do you feel that you're missing as it pertains
to the identity of the therapist, because sometimes I've seen therapists,
like most of my clients were at one point in time,

(01:08:13):
black females in the C suites, and they would come
to me because a lot of times when they felt
when they were with another female therapist, they felt judged.
They often felt not heard, and then sometimes it was
triggering to either a mother womb or a sister womb,

(01:08:36):
you know what I mean, if they had a bad
experience with some woman that you know what I mean.
So it sounds like you may and maybe the delivery
from a male sort of close some gaps from some
experiences that you had with the male or experience that
you are looking to have because I know my therapist

(01:08:58):
now is a female who I love, and I think
that she's also pouring and helping me heal a different
piece even in some mother areas, you know what I mean. So,
and then when I first started, I had a male
that spoke to the sun and me. So maybe what
you're looking for is for some gaps to be closed

(01:09:19):
as it retains to where you are, you know, in
your life as a man.

Speaker 4 (01:09:23):
If that's you know, you know what you're looking for.

Speaker 1 (01:09:27):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:09:27):
That's so good, And I think it goes back to
what you said, how you said you weren't with the
same therapist that you had before. Sometimes it's good to
change as you evolve. So if I feel like you're right,
if he is missing something, he needs to first identify
what that is he's missing and then try to move
from that.

Speaker 1 (01:09:42):
Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 2 (01:09:43):
Thank you guys so much for writing in. Continue to
do that. We look forward to hearing what you have
to say and the questions you have to ask.

Speaker 1 (01:09:50):
Let the people know where we can find you on socials.

Speaker 2 (01:09:53):
If there's anything we need to support you want to
let us know if you have something coming up that
we didn't touch on.

Speaker 4 (01:09:58):
No listen King J. Barnett on Instagram.

Speaker 3 (01:10:01):
X if y'all still use it Facebook threads, but listen
to my podcast Just Healed with Doctor J on the
same network as my friend Crystal The Black Effect. It
is an amazing podcast and I talk about all things
healing mental health. I mean, just an amazing space to
dive deeper into conversations centered around mental health. A new

(01:10:23):
episode drops every Tuesday and then you can watch visually
on our Just Heal with Doctor J on YouTube page.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
So awesome, amazing, We'll definitely tap in with you.

Speaker 1 (01:10:35):
Thank you so much. Yes, great, amazing, My goodness.

Speaker 2 (01:10:42):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:10:43):
That was such a powerful conversation and a reminder.

Speaker 2 (01:10:46):
That healing doesn't mean perfection, it means being honest enough
to start. Thank you guys so much for tuning into
another episode of Keep It Positive, sweetie. Make sure to subscribe,
like and leave a review, and also share this with
someone who could use a little positivity in.

Speaker 1 (01:11:02):
The meantime in between time. Keep it positive, sweeties. I'll
see you guys next time.