The Reality of Reality w/ Kandi Burruss

Sweeties, Season 9 is coming in hot! This week, we sit down with the one and only Kandi Burruss for a conversation that’s equal parts unfiltered, funny, and inspiring.

From growing up in "the real Atlanta" to navigating surrogacy, Kandi gets candid about motherhood, faith, and the lessons she’s still learning while being a successful entrepreneur. She shares her very first emotional day filming RHOA and why she’s unapologetically “a what comes up, comes out” kind of person.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Calling all my sweetish to the forefront.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm your host, Chris Orne and this is the Keep
It Positive Sweetish Show.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hey, Sweeties, welcome back.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
I know it's been a few weeks since we've seen
each other, but have no fear because Keep It Positive
Sweetie is here. Today's guest needs no introduction, but you
know I'm gonna give you one anyway.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
She is Atlanta through and through.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
She is a wife, mom, singer, actress, producer, and a.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Grammy Award winning songwriter.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
You met her through her group Escape and you got
to know her really well on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Sweeties,
please give a very warm welcome to Candy Burris.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
Candy, what's going on? Girl? Uh?

Speaker 2 (00:41):
You're here finally, but we've been trying to get you
on this podcast for since when we go we were in.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
Fashion Week? Was that February? About it? Yeah, we've been
talking about it for a minute for awhile. So we're
finally here. So excited to have you. Thanks Pet. How
you feel I feel good? Good? Yeah? Good?

Speaker 2 (01:03):
So a lot of people we know your accolades. Everyone's
been a fan of yours since Escape. Tell us a
little bit more about you, Candy, birds and your upbringing
that we may not know.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
It's like I feel like at this point people know
so much about me.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
But how does it feel like to feel like everybody
knows so much? Sometimes it's weird? Yes, right, So I
mean that's cool, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
I mean, I'm just thankful to be able to, you know,
be in a space where you know, people do know me. Yes,
you know what I mean, because I think a lot
of people take that for granted.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
I feel like at one point.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
In my younger years, whose you know, even you know,
in my group or whatever, at one point we probably
took it for granted. And you know, I had to
learn like that's not just a giving. That's just because
you've done something before. It doesn't mean that people are
gonna keep caring. So I'm just kind of like thankful

(02:01):
for that. But I mean, as far as my background,
I am from Atlanta.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
May from real Atlanta, because you know they're saying that's
not Atlanta. Which Atlanta are you from?

Speaker 3 (02:15):
It's like, are you talking about where I was born
or where I was raised? I was born at Crofit Loan, Okay,
and that's that was on Peace Street. They changed the name, Okay,
But yes, I was born here in Atlanta.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
I was raised off Washington Road in East Point.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
So I guess that's what they're saying. People from downtown Atlanta.
They love to be talking about what's not real Atlanta.
I got one hundred cousins. I was staying in Atlanta
every day. You know, I'm I'm from Atlanta. Stopped playing
with me, right, But yeah, and my mom is the
youngest of fourteen kids.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
Yes, And so I have like over eighty something first cousins,
not to mention second and third cousins. And we a
lot of us are like close. We all love that,
like sisters and brothers.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
So.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
And then my dad's family, you know, he's he was
the youngest of three kids. But I don't have many
cousins on my dad's side.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
I just have four.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Okay, Oh that's a big difference.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
And yeah, and my my granddad was a bishop here
in Atlanta. So yeah, Bethlehem Church of God Holiness Martin
Luther King.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
So you know, both sides fairly very different, you know.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
So I guess I had a.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
A very you know, wide range of influence. Yes, I
can imagine. That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
I didn't know Mama Joyce was one of fourteen. Do
you have any siblings?

Speaker 3 (03:53):
My brother passed away when I was young, when I
was fifteen, my brother Patrick, and his name was Patrick
Riley and that's why Riley's name.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
Okay, I love that. And then I do have a sister,
you know, through my dad. Got it?

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Okay, got it, simil Okay, Yeah, I have all my siblings.
We have different mothers, so like we were all raised
kind of similar. Everybody was raising different homes. But it's
also it's awesome to see how as we grow up
we grow closer. How many four so four of us total? Okay, cool, Yes,
I'm one of four, the second oldest, but yeah, I
love that. So you've oh my goodness, you've done so

(04:33):
many things from singing to now you're producing, you're a mother,
all the things you had Riley an Ace and then Blaze, Tucker,
Blaze my bonus daughter, Kayla.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
Oh yes, and Kayla.

Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yes, you had Blaze through surrogacy and that was a
decision that you made after struggling with fibroids. Yes, can
you walk me through that that journey because I've opened
up to I was recently on your podcast and I
talked about me finally going to the fertility doctor and
the options that I have, and that's one of the options.
So what is it like and what was it like
coming to that moment where this may be my reality

(05:11):
that I'm not going to be able to carry.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Like I have.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
Okay, Well, for a sand blaze, I had to do IVF. Okay,
So I had a lot of fibroid issues, multiple fibroid surgery.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Throughout my thirties. Wow, you know.

Speaker 3 (05:28):
And so even to get pregnant with as I had
to do IVF. Yeah, and with that, I know a
lot of people's journey is different with IVF.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
You know.

Speaker 3 (05:41):
I don't know if a lot of y'all who haven't
experienced that it's not guaranteed that you're going to have
a child just because you go through iv you know,
they say the best method to do is you put
the egg in the sperm together to make embryona, right, Okay,
and not that's just basic one on one.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
Some people just freeze their eggs, right.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Other people have, you know, go through the process of
getting embryos.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
So we had with what we were possibly able to have.

Speaker 3 (06:09):
We went from what was twelve dropped down to six embryos,
and then after testing them to make sure that they
were good, we only have four, so we put two
in with ACE.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Only one made it. Wow.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
But then I had a high risk pregnancy and that's
just basically because of I guess the multiple surgeries.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
You know, I had bleeding during the pregnancy or whatever.
That's got to be scary. Yeah, it was scary.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
Good, but luckily, you know, we got ac was healthy,
and so we still had two that were frozen, right, okay,
and the best option you know, after a while, you know,
we were trying to figure out, Okay, are we going
to use our embryos or not?

Speaker 1 (06:58):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (06:59):
And we didn't want to not, you know, use it. Yeah,
so we had to figure out the best way to
make sure that she was gonna make it here. So
we had to and that's when I talked to doctor
Jackie and she helped me find a surguit.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
And when it comes to that, I know it's gotta
be a difficult process choosing a person that's gonna carry
your seed.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah. Yeah, like what was that? Like it was?

Speaker 3 (07:36):
They say it could be very very difficult, difficult for
a lot of people. But I will say, I'm thankful
for doctor Jackie because she knew shout out to Shadina,
my surrogate, I guess when she was carrying for another
family before me, and.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
Doctor Jackie was the doctor oh perfect.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
So originally I was just meeting with her to talk
about it, to see, you know, so she can give
me the how it works and all of that stuff.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
But then as.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
We were having the conversation, obviously I was like, well,
was she do it? You know, because I was kind
of told that it's you know, it's best to you know,
have a surrogate who has done it already one time,
got it. And I don't know how true that is
for others, but for me it worked out amazing because

(08:27):
she has she was like, you know, was so knowledgeable,
She has so much knowledgeable on the she was on
the on the process. She encouraged us to have a
group text with her so she would always be updating us,
and you know, it just made it a lot easier
for me because she had already been there, done that
and kind of kid help us in a way to

(08:52):
where things may have felt awkward for some people didn't
feel as awkward.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
Got it, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (09:00):
So she made us feel very comfortable in the situation,
and I was very appreciative of that. But yeah, I
had the perfect situation because my doctor had already been
her doctor before, so she already knew that she's gonna,
you know, make sure the baby's healthy, you know, eat

(09:21):
the right things, do the right things, go to the appointments,
do all of those things.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
You know that.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
Did she come and live with you? Because I know
some Sarah's like them, No, like I want you in
my house.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Nah Na, Nah, No, I'm not. I'm not that.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
I'm not that person. So for me, she she she
has kids of her own. Okay, you know, so she had,
you know, lived in her own house. I did go
visit her home.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Okay, good, Yeah, to see living conditions and all the things. Yes,
you know so, and it's so crazy.

Speaker 3 (09:55):
So even the attorney that we use, so in Georgia,
every every place has its own laws.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
Oh yeah, state, Yeah, for sure, I've heard California is
a little different.

Speaker 3 (10:11):
Yes, But the lawyer that I use, she had she's
also an agency. So the firm, you know, her firm,
so she you know, you know, inside and out, the
things that we need to do. The questions we need
to ask, you know, you have to go through counseling
together and separately with yeah, oh yeah, yeah, we did

(10:37):
all of that, and then when they when she gave
us this questionnaire, it was questions I wouldn't even have
thought to ask, you know. So it was a very
interesting experience, but I'm grateful for it and grateful that
i had the right people to come into my life

(10:59):
to help the process goes smoother.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
And then just even like the paperwork that you have
to do prior.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
To first of all getting started and end for when
the baby gets here, because obviously you want your name
on the birth certificate with.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
Your child and all of those things. Yeah, so.

Speaker 3 (11:21):
I would suggest if you're going to do it, you know,
trying not to be you know, trying to be cheap
and give around and not get the right people to help.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
Speaking of being cheap, like, how much does it cost
to do something like this for people who may be thinking.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
About it, Well, the cost of surrogacy is different.

Speaker 3 (11:42):
We're you know, different people depending on that surrogate, depending
on if you go through an agency, you know, for
the surrogate themselves, you know, so their feed may vary.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
I mean I know.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
People that's like anywhere from forty to a hundred and okay,
and I've heard some people who go as low as
twenty five. I know some people that went to another
country to do it. They didn't have to pay much
at all. But that's when you kind of run into

(12:21):
other issues, like you know, trying to make sure that
your name is on the birth If you're not, you
you have to please get an attorney to do your paperwork.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
Because what if the Sara like tries to keep your
child like the.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
Have that experience, And I don't know anybody that has
that ex ok, but I do know somebody who you know,
didn't get the right forms that they need, so now
it's making it harder for them to get other documents
that they need here, so.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
They got to go back to get all that stuff.
So it's just kind of like I would at least
make sure that I have.

Speaker 3 (12:58):
An attorney that's going through it to be like, make
sure you have this, make sure you have that, you know,
make sure this form is signed, you know all of
these things, because you know, it's a whole checklist of stuff.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
I can imagine I'm saying, and you know, this is
your baby, and.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Especially in this world where you know the government is
acting up with sure citizenship is right, make sure all
that stuff is right, you know what I mean. But
so you know, I I do tell people the attorney

(13:35):
because you know they can well, especially you and Georgia.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
If you want to, I'll give you the information.

Speaker 3 (13:43):
Because she's just she was just so thorough and in
giving you like even if you just go for that
initial consultation meeting, if you want to use them for
the whole process, because it's too.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
Much, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
And then even now, like I'm like, even with Blaze
sometimes she was like, is that how it was when
I was in your belly?

Speaker 1 (14:08):
And I keep trying to explain her.

Speaker 3 (14:10):
I had to borrow somebody's baby belly. My belly wasn't
working right, That's what I'm But it's like I'm trying
to figure out how to explain, you know, to her
the process.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
But the other day it was so cool. I had
ran into.

Speaker 3 (14:32):
A friend of a friend and she was like, Candy,
I don't know if you remember having this conversation with me.
She was like, but some years ago, she was like,
I was considering doing IVF because I was having some
issues and she was like, and you were like, no,
you should do it. And she was like, and you
gave me so much encouragement and you know, teld me

(14:54):
what to do. And she was like, but that is
my son right there, and her son was playing with
my son.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (15:01):
And I was like, that is so crazy. They don't
even know the right And to see both of them healthy,
plane running around and you know, and knowing that, you know,
my circumstance was at once her circumstances. My circumstance helped her.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
So cool. I love that. I love that. Now.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
I heard so many different stories about the injections and
the toll that it takes on your body. Was did
you have any side effects or was it just easy
breezy for you?

Speaker 3 (15:36):
It wasn't easy giving yourself those injections. I'm one of
those persons. I have a high tolerance for paints. Okay,
but I will say that's last shot. You got to
give the trigger shot and they call it when it's
time to the appointment that they have to actually take

(15:56):
the the eggs out.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
The eggs.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
That one it was painful, like a burn or just
I remember how to describe it.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
Really, I just remember you know.

Speaker 3 (16:10):
The other shots was just kind of like, you know,
you can you know.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
Do it in your belly or whatever.

Speaker 3 (16:19):
You know, at a certain time of day. You want
to do it every day and follow the rules. And
that was cool, But that last shot, I was like,
and then for me, I don't every doctor is different
from when they tell you to do. But my IVF facility,
they still wanted me to once they implanted the embryos,

(16:44):
still do the shots were like another.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
How long much longer?

Speaker 3 (16:52):
Did it another couple of months? Yes, because they said that.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
Was it interesting? I don't know whatever it was that
they were giving me.

Speaker 3 (17:04):
They said, you know, because some people once it's in planet,
they still lose.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
Unfortunately.

Speaker 3 (17:10):
Yeah, they said, for them, it gave them a higher
success rate of the embryo implanting. Okay, and you know
and attaching how it's supposed to. Yeah. Wow, I can't
remember what it was exactly that I was still having

(17:30):
to my job aces nine and a half now, so
this was a long time ago.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah, times to change and crazy, how like you can
go have a surgery or procedure done and then years
later they come out with a much easier way where
like you gotta take one shot and you're like I
had to take Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
Nah, I was taking them for a couple more months,
just to make sure that that that the embryos.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
Stayed, it was locked in. Yeah. So yeah it was
not the.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
But so worth it good because at people don't talk
about that part of it because people like, oh, yeah,
go do it, and then like, wait, you didn't tell
me about this part. And that's probably been my hesitancy
honestly is like the toll that it takes on your body.
And do I have the time with our schedules, like
to really take the time to do that. Were you
able to continue to work and like travel and do
everything or did you have to take some time off?

Speaker 3 (18:24):
WHOA, I was still able to work. I was still
filming that season that I was pregnant with Ace, and
I remember I was filming.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Okay, But yeah, I was able to work. Okay.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
It's just you know, you just make sure you're doing
it at a certain time every day.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
Do what you're supposed to do, okay. And with Blaze,
with Surrogate, obviously you were rare to do.

Speaker 3 (18:47):
Yeah. I was all over the place, you know what
I mean, And I felt guilty in a way because
you like, you know, you know, it's like.

Speaker 1 (19:00):
I'm sorry, like you know what, am I got it?
You got it right? I don't know, it's like it
almost it's so crazy.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
I hate to even say this out loud, but having
a surgut, I felt like.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
Is this what it's like to be the daddy?

Speaker 2 (19:18):
No, that's you know, yeah, no, but.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
That's good comparisons with mom's.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
You know, we had to our body's changing, dealing with
all these emotions and phones.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
You know, we're trying to eat right.

Speaker 3 (19:33):
We trying to make sure we do everything we can't perfectly,
and make sure we incubate right, yes, and make sure
the baby comes out to way me I mean heart
burned like that heart I didn't even know what heartburn.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
Was until I was breaknant with A's like my job.

Speaker 3 (19:52):
Riley got a lot of hair, a lot of hair,
but when she was born, she did not have a
lot of hair.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
Okay, but Ace did.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
And that rumor that they say about babies when they
got a lot of hair, they come out with a
lot of hair.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
That you got heartburn during pregnancy, that must be true
because you had it. Wow, what oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (20:12):
I was like I can't even lay down like when
it's happening to me. But with Blade, you know, having
a surrogate, she was telling me all about her heartburn,
and I was like, oh, sorry, at least you can relate,
like I know what you're going through.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
I know what she was going through.

Speaker 3 (20:30):
But you know, I still was able to go do
with and everything I needed to do. And it's almost
a little bit of guilt there because you know, you
feel like, you know, there's a reason that I had
to get a surrogate. But it's almost like, wow, this
is this is the move.

Speaker 1 (20:48):
Right It wasn't it right? Yeah? No, for sure, for sure.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
When you speak on mom Guild, you are You're a mogul,
you're all you're traveling all the world, You're handling so
many different business ventures. Do you deal with mom gil now,
like having to travel all the time, and how do
you handle that?

Speaker 3 (21:07):
Of course, I feel like every mother that I know
that has a career, yeah, feels guilt, every last one
of them. And you know, sometimes we overcompensate in the
way that gives me body.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
And the things that we do because.

Speaker 3 (21:25):
You know, we want them to realize this is a reason,
this is why I had to be here the money
so you could do this right.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
But it's all I don't think that ever goes away. Yeah,
you know, no for sure.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
Now, I just be honest. I don't watch Real Housewives
of Atlanta. Did you like bring your children onto the show?
Like were they like when do you open up everything
to the show or did you keep your children off?

Speaker 1 (21:54):
My children was on? They were on there? Okay, so
out rally on her own.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yes, I saw that they got a generation or something next.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
Yeah, that's crazy. How was that going for her? I mean,
that's going good. You know.

Speaker 3 (22:09):
I think it was different for her, Like she didn't
know all the work that it goes in to.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
Shoot, right, because for you, she just show up, like
she'd just show.

Speaker 3 (22:19):
Up a couple of times, and you know, but she
didn't realize, like, you know, they want you to be
there every day and then they give you last minute schedules.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
It's a lot.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
Yeah, and so and then you know, all the emotional
roller coaster she was going on, going back and forth
with the different people on the show and.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Calling me mommy, you know, and it's like, oh my gosh,
whatever race did you give her to help navigate those
just right off. Rip.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
I just told my daughter, Look, be yourself, don't you know.
Whatever you say, stand on it. Yeah, don't take it back.
You know you can apologize if you look, you know,
think later on and maybe you didn't do the right thing,
But don't be on there acting like.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
You said something. Didn't say something that you said.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
You know we you know, we are known for being
truthful people, and you ain't gonna change that.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
I know that's right, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (23:13):
So always be a person of your words. So even
if people don't like what you do, they know that.
You know, you'd be like, hey, I met what I
said when I said it. Yeah, and I'm standing on it.
You know what I mean I said. And if you
do anything that's wrong, you know it's okay. You live
to see another day. And your mama always got your back.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
I know that's right. I love that.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
When it came to you saying yes to Real Housewives
of Atlanta one hundred years.

Speaker 1 (23:39):
Ago, right, you were like the longest one.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
Yeah, you were the longest housewife, longest running. That's amazing.
Fourteen seasons straight, that is incredible. But you mentioned that
like after the first season you realize math ain't math,
and and I gotta do some other things. What was
that thing that clicked where you like, wait a minute,
and what did you think you were going to make?

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Like when you first started? What did I think?

Speaker 2 (24:00):
What like monetarily thinking like you're going on this show,
you're open with your life?

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Nothing really yeah, what made you say yes? One of
my friends was it? Rashida?

Speaker 3 (24:13):
I know one of my friends was like, just go
ahead of doing you never know what's gonna come from it,
because I was like, this ain't no money, right, I
see money, Like what I'm gonna do with this?

Speaker 1 (24:24):
And then honestly, I didn't really think that it was.

Speaker 3 (24:28):
Gonna change my life like that because you know, I've
been in a group.

Speaker 1 (24:32):
Right your candy, Yeah, we'd done something.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
I was just like, yeah, you know whatever. I had
watched the first season. I thought it was funny, but
I didn't really see myself being with those ladies, you
know what I mean, nothing against them, I just didn't
see how we would be hanging.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
Out, right, I feel yeah, I was like I don't
know about this, but.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
You know, I was like, okay, well I'll do it
for you. It might be you know, because they did
wasn't like they really weren't talking about no money, right,
It wasn't no money.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
But then, man, I just thought it would be something
cool to do.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
Yeah, you know, and next thing, I know, first day
of tapement, I remember it got real for me day one.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
What happened. They did a scene with me and my mama.
She said she had me crying, Jack, you had me crying.
I didn't look. I didn't mean no, no, but I
was not expecting that.

Speaker 3 (25:32):
I was like, they let you break break in first,
like right, But yeah, and resk was history.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
Wow, we're speaking of that moment with your mom.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
Was there any moments that were therapeutic for you guys
in the show or anything that kind of came up
that you hadn't resolved.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
We've had so many moments over those fourteens. Yeah, and
then we had multiple you know, specials and spin offs
or whatever.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
Now, I did watch your show at the restaurant and
that was funny. Your candy in the gang so funny. Yeah,
it was hilarious. It was fun to do too.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
But I mean I definitely would say, yeah, I guess
it would be therapeutic. And then, you know, it was
a lot of wonderful moments, you know, with my kids
that I can look back and it's like our own
little diary, go back and see parts of our lives.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
My kids can see themselves grow up, you know what
I mean.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
The only thing I find I'm like wow now that
I left, Like Blaze is not going to have the
same experience as Riley, right, you know what I mean,
but because you know her life is not going to
be just all in front of the camera.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah. Interesting, but it's cool though. You know, I felt like.

Speaker 3 (26:59):
My family had their time to you know, be you
know that I was able to share them with the world. Huns,
you know, my cousins on there.

Speaker 1 (27:12):
You know, I met Todd on there.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
You know, you saw the process of me trying to
get pregnant, having my kids, so manything.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
Yeah, was there ever any moments where you were like
I regret opening up about that, where you look back
or any where you kind of were at home like
why did I let them into this part of my life?

Speaker 3 (27:33):
I'm kind of an open book, so it's not I
don't really have a lot of regrets.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Now.

Speaker 3 (27:43):
I'm always saying something that I probably shouldn't say.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
And later on and it'd be my mom to be like,
did you have.

Speaker 3 (27:52):
To tell everybody that you blah blah blah? Like, well,
I mean it is what it is, right, But so
I don't really look at anything as a regret, you know, Yeah,
I love that, you know.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
And then like some things you know are put on you.
You know you didn't you don't have to. It wasn't
anything you did to put it out there.

Speaker 3 (28:20):
When you on reality TV, especially you know with ensemble cast,
people be coming at you left and right with all
kinds of crazy I can imagine. So it's not like
you always have a choice in the matter, right, Yeah,
you don't know what somebody gonna hit you with and
be like wait a minute, now, hold on right now.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
You say you've always been an open book, so when
you got on the show that you go into it
with the mindset of I'm just gonna be real because
you're really authentic in your true self. Was that something
or did you kind of start letting your wall down
as the seasons progressed.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
I didn't overthink it, Okay.

Speaker 3 (28:50):
I think that's what I don't like about reality TV
now is let everybody go into everything. It's my brand.
Oh I gotta worry about my brand. This is my brand.
That's sometimes to me, it makes them fake, you know.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
What I mean? And I don't like that.

Speaker 3 (29:04):
You know, I'm just like half the time and when,
like I tell people all the time, these girls we
having rehearsed reads and stuff like reality TV.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yes, and it was so obvious. But to me it'd
be obvious. I guess that's your real actor as well.
You're like, we gotta do that for this. I know
when you know, I know when you practice.

Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah, But for me, it's like I'm a what comes
up comes out to the person.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
Yeah, So it's just.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
Like you hit me with something, you're gonna catch whatever
I was thinking at that moment, right right, And I
feel like it's better for me to roll in there,
you know what I mean, to where it's not like
overthinking it just stresses me up.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Yeah, that I can imagine that.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
Speaking of like opening up to things, you've been very
open about being sex positive and just very open about
your sex.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
You said, it's so sweet. Now.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
When I was on your podcast, I opened up about
me staining from sex and you were like flabbergas.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
You were like, what how long says?

Speaker 3 (30:11):
Cause what I mean I was flabbergasted by the part
of you saying that you start to have having sex
with the man and then just out the blue, you.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
Just saw him. Yeah, I just thought about it.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
I'm just not It wasn't a thought about it. Yeah,
I talked to me and I'm not having sex anymore now.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
That was I was like, and it's hard, like, but
it's not like anybody else who's been having sex the
whole life. And then just God reveals him, I don't
want you doing this, and then they like, I gotta change.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
What was the reveal?

Speaker 2 (30:41):
The reveal was, you're living out of the will of God,
and I need you to focus on me because right
now you're like going down the road of destruction. And
I was like, all right, I need to just really
focus because if I want a certain type of love,
I've got to carry myself in a certain type of way.
Like I can't want to be loved like like God
wants us to be loved and then not be living
like he wants me to live. So I was like,

(31:01):
in order to get something different, because I've gone candy,
I want to say heartbreak after heartbreak, and it's just like,
clearly I'm doing something wrong and it was just like
one of throwing the tale honestly, because sex clouds everything,
you know, for me, like when.

Speaker 1 (31:14):
You do it out of the world. For me, it
was like because you think of it.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
I don't know this is true for you, but for me,
like as soon as like you like have sex with somebody,
you first you're like.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Oh, my gods, loving it. Everything is up there.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
It's like I don't even like you like that, like
the scales fall from your eyes and you're like, oh,
this is who you really are.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
It takes away from that. I get it.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
And you know, I hate having these conversations.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
With and you know, I love the Lord, yes.

Speaker 3 (31:46):
But I having these conversations sometimes with people are who
are on their walk of.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
Faith, right, but these are good countries.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
I don't ever want to say anything that's discouraging you
from doing something that's in the walk of faith, right,
you know what I mean? Because listen, I believe in
God too, you know what I mean. And I definitely
know that you know, we all fall short of you know,
every day every day, right, But I just feel like

(32:12):
sometimes people put too much.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
On the sex part.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
You know, it's so many other things that sexuality, people's
choices of you know, their sexuality, choosing to have sex,
all of the things. I think people act like that's
the biggest sin in the world and they skip over
all these other sins and that's the only sin they focus.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
Focus on, exactly. And so that's why when.

Speaker 3 (32:34):
People talk about, you know, for me, for you in
this conversation, when you say, what am I doing wrong?

Speaker 1 (32:42):
And the relationships, so with sex, the only thing you.

Speaker 3 (32:45):
Were doing wrong to make your relationships and not go
right for you know, Because for me, when I have sex,
and even when I'm talking about if I'm a I've
been married a long time, twenty fourteen years, and I
have not had sex with another man since Todd and
I even dated wow, okay, since we started having sex.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
Yeah, And so it's been a long time since I've
been in the pool of meeting men and whatever. But
I remember what it's like.

Speaker 2 (33:14):
It's get money then, because it's I remember hurdy now
it was muddy then, it was muddy.

Speaker 3 (33:23):
But what I say in my thought process when I
have sex, I'm having sex for me. I'm not having
sex just because I'm trying to like you. Now, because
some women they have sex with the mentality, Oh yeah,
I want to put this thing on them they.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Make him do.

Speaker 3 (33:39):
I don't care about putting that thing or you can
make you stay because it's so many things about me
that should make you stay. Come on, okay, when I'm
having sex, I'm having sex for.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
Me for you. Like about like soul ties out of
like in the baggage.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
People say that thing about soul ties, and I hear
what you say. But there's people in my past that
I'm not tied to them. I would like to forget
that we ever had a tie. You know what I mean,
it's untied.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
It's untied. Blieve me is untied. I don't move forward
like I mean, let's I mean, you ain't a virgin.
You know, you ain't version about it.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
And I felt like I was very open with you,
like I love sex because God wants us to love it.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
He created for tide.

Speaker 3 (34:28):
To everybody that you have sex with in the past.

Speaker 2 (34:31):
There is something that weighs on you with from that
you take from every person that you have sex with,
and you may not realize it. If you like the
certain stresses that you carry, the bonds that you carry,
you may not realize it.

Speaker 1 (34:43):
But sometimes you look and you're like, why am I
feeling like this? What is this? And you feel like
it's directly tied to everybody that's been inside you. Yes,
I agree.

Speaker 3 (34:54):
My stress for the day could be dealing with Disney
deals that I got going on my dad too, the
day deal because I ain't I wasn't able to lock
in this business opportunity that I was trying to get,
or you know, for me right now, I'm a husband,
got on my nerves, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (35:08):
Or you know, the kids stressing me out.

Speaker 3 (35:10):
Not tied to that's nobody that I hooked up with
a thousand.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
No, that's not the thing that I'm saying. But that's
just like what I'm saying. Yeah I do. Yeah, But
I totally get what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
And I love having these conversations, like it's like girls
talk a great debate, you know, like just even like
we were at your house, in my house, I'm like,
so like I you're curious to like and even for me,
I'm like, okay, like when did sex first come up?
Like did you grow up like your mom was opened
up out cause you on black homes just taboo to
talk about, you know, what I'm saying, you don't really
mention it. Even if you have a parent that says

(35:41):
when you're ready to have says, come talk to me.
Even when you do that, it's never a comfortable conversation.

Speaker 1 (35:46):
Well, here's the thing.

Speaker 3 (35:47):
And I always tell people you need to have those
conversations with their kids way younger than you expect.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
So what age do you think.

Speaker 3 (35:58):
By middle school you should have already had that covers true,
because that's what we're kind of learning. Some people think
that that's crazy. I'm telling you right now, these kids
in middle school having six Okay, they having sex or
either they friends having sex. They talking about sex, especially
now the internet. They over here showing each other stuff
on the in elementary school, Yes, they're showing each other

(36:19):
stuff they finding online. Now, when I was little, you know,
I'm a little older, but you know, everybody be trying
to sneak to watch the dirty channel. Nil, that'd be fuzzy,
and you put some in the box and you try
to straighten the channel up so you can see it.
Oh yeah, so yeah, my mom was not having conversations

(36:39):
with me that early.

Speaker 1 (36:40):
Yeah. I was finding out things through my friends.

Speaker 3 (36:43):
Right, you know what I mean or and you don't
want their friend to be the one that tells them about.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
Sex, right, No, you know what I mean, that's so true.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
No, my mom used to always say the worst thing
getting pregnant is not the worst thing that could happen.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
She was like, you can get the STD that you
and get rid of.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
She would always put that fear in me, and she's like,
but I want you to be able to come and
talk to me about it. And then when you go
talk as like you ain't ready to have sex, I'm like,
these are the things I'm feeling, you know.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
So it kind of in that home, like.

Speaker 3 (37:10):
You know what advice you're going to give to a
kid one day when they say that to you.

Speaker 2 (37:15):
Yeah, for me, I mean, honestly, I don't have children
right now, but you have to be realistic, you know
what I'm saying with the honestly the influences of the
world where they are now, how you said, like kids
at elementary school showing each other videos like do you
see this? So at a young age, just talking to
letting them know, And honestly, I'll be raising my children
in the church under the foundation of Christ, so they

(37:36):
can know right from wrong.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
At a very young age, but.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
Like also just teaching it and being realistic, like, hey,
I know these urges are going to come up, your
homeowns are going to start changing, and I do want
my children to be able to come and talk to
me and we can have open dialogue about it so
they can one be healthy, but also protect them and
given the other consequences that come along with it, you know,
and try to protect them as much as I can. Yeah, yeah,
what advice would you give your children? Like what I know,

(37:58):
Riley's older, but like your younger daughter.

Speaker 3 (38:02):
Like, well, how I am that auntie, that cousin that
everybody come to really something they need to talk about
it or something that went wrong. I always try to
catch them before it go. Yeah, now, I remember I
definitely had cousins that were talking about six in middle school.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
We all did, for sure.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
But I was having that conversation about HPV viruses all
of that, showing them the website to where it showed
them how these things.

Speaker 1 (38:34):
Are past how their age because it's running rampant.

Speaker 3 (38:38):
I was talking to them about you know, obviously bird control.
I was talking about all the things and yes, you
can tell them, you know, it's best not to do it.
What I always would tell most of the girls, I'd
be like, first of all, don't be up there doing
nothing with nobody to go to school with you, because
if y'all break up, he gonna tell all his friends,

(39:02):
definitely that y'all did it. And then after that, your
next boyfriend is gonna say, well, you did it with him, and.

Speaker 1 (39:10):
It's gonna be you're gonna feel pressured. Yeah, don't do that.

Speaker 3 (39:15):
I'll have real, real conversations right yeah, with you know,
family friends.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yeah, yeah, No, that's good.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
With the internet and you've being you being very open
with it. Has it ever been a moment where your
daughter is coming like mom, like this is what the
kids are talking about at school?

Speaker 1 (39:33):
Or has it? I was talking to her before she
had to come to meet stuff. Okay you know what.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
I'm saying, Like, you're like how you're very doing videos
like with candicoten nights and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
Has any of that well you mean my personal section?

Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah, like has kids have kids? Your kids have come
and say something.

Speaker 3 (39:48):
No, I go to that. Okay, I mean I've had
those conversations with a's and right, but definitely.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
In middle school. Well, I think.

Speaker 3 (40:01):
Rowley was probably in middle school or I guests just
getting into high.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
School, probably get high school.

Speaker 3 (40:12):
I can't remember when that whole dungeon accusation came about.
So yes, I had a conversation with my child about like, okay,
this is what happened.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
And blah blah blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (40:27):
Yes, okay, So was it awkward for you to have
or you just like this is what it is like
everything else, this.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
Is what it is now. I know it sounds crazy.

Speaker 3 (40:37):
It sounds crazy that I'm able to talk to my
kids about, you know, stuff like that. But the crazy
part that y'all don't realize their friends are already talking
about stuff like absolutely so for them, you know, when
you explain like.

Speaker 1 (40:57):
This is what happened, this is what they said.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
This part is not true. Do not believe I would never,
do you know what I mean? Then it's like this
is just.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
Like oh okay, it's like bothing right along. Yes, okay,
that's good.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
When it comes to Raley, your older daughter, how do
you talk to her and say, hey, like she's a mom,
like I'm ready to have sex?

Speaker 1 (41:20):
Like what is it that you tell her? You say?

Speaker 2 (41:24):
As your daughter and like are you Are you pushing
her to be as sex positive as you are or
do you just tell you make your own decision, that's
on you. Raley's grown, grown girl. How is Rally now?

Speaker 1 (41:35):
She just turned twenty three? Oh, yeah, she's grown girl. Yes,
she's grown grown.

Speaker 3 (41:42):
I had, like I said, I had always had conversations
with her. So the first time she had any experience,
not I'm not telling her business because I don't want to.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
Yeah, absolutely tell her business, how old or any of that.

Speaker 3 (41:54):
Yes, but even the first time she said something, even
with all of that, I cried. I didn't even I
didn't tell her that I was crying.

Speaker 1 (42:05):
She called me. I was out of town and she
said something, and I.

Speaker 3 (42:10):
Was just like, oh, okay, as tears are just streaming
down my.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
Past because in my mind, you know, I'm a little
out there. But you know, Riley is not so hurt
to hear that she was even thinking about anything.

Speaker 3 (42:33):
I was like, you know, but I didn't want to
let her know, so I you know, I didn't let
her hear my voice.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
Yes, but and I appreciated that she wanted.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
To discuss it with me and trusted you and trusted
me enough to say it she could be going to
the cousin and aunt that most people come to talk
to you exactly.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
But I ain't gonna lie. I was a little like
thrown off because I didn't.

Speaker 3 (42:57):
I don't know why I never thought about that actually coming,
even though I know really is gonna come.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
Na, what do you think he mooted the tears, was like,
this is my baby so innocent?

Speaker 2 (43:10):
Like what, okay, that's what I'm talking about, candy?

Speaker 1 (43:14):
Like what like if they brought you to tears?

Speaker 2 (43:16):
What was it about sex that made you cry that
your daughter's having it now?

Speaker 3 (43:23):
Because in my mind, and this is another thing I
try to say to young ladies, even though I don't
want to wish bad on y'all little boyfriends, but chances
are you are not gonna end up with that person.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
Oh my god, Mama's always telling me that that is
not gonna be the one.

Speaker 3 (43:44):
Ever, And you gotta kind of go into the situation
in your.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
Young years knowing that you might.

Speaker 3 (43:55):
You were probably gonna look back a decade later and
be like, I hate this.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
Man could tell people he ever was with saying I'm
with you.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
I like you know, and I'm just like I you know.
Of course, you know that it's gonna happen, but you
know I didn't want.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
Your baby, yes, but you were not ever be with
that person, right, yeah, No, so true. Something that I
admire you about and that I've been very vocal about
is just your business since and I'm really big on
financial literacy. You said that you may mention that your
mom taught you not to put all your eggs in

(44:31):
one basket. What are some of the lessons that you've
learned over the years, because you have such longevity just
about financial literacy so much.

Speaker 3 (44:41):
This is where I need you, Okay. The first thing
she used to always say was good credit was better
than money. Come on, and simply because you know, I
don't care if you got a hundred thousand dollars cash
in right there.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
If you ain't got a good credit, that's all you
can afford. Ask one hundred thousand dollars.

Speaker 3 (45:00):
You got good credit, you can get something next five
hundred thousand and nine hundred thousand whatever, you know, right,
So that was the first money lesson she would always
tell teach me.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
But for me.

Speaker 3 (45:15):
Re reading the Millionaire next Door when I was like seventeen, Wow.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
It was we were ahead of your time, because no
kids are reading that unless their parents.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
Our group got our record deal when I was sixteen,
So my whole goal in life was to never be
that teen star that be broke later.

Speaker 1 (45:34):
And I love that.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
So that was like I was, all those teens don't
have that mindset, Well I was.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
I love it. I was always on a mission to
figure it out. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (45:43):
So I started reading you know, financial books and different
things in my teens.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
But the other thing, multiple lessons. One, I didn't trust accountants.

Speaker 3 (45:56):
Our first account that our group had, they stole like
one hundred thousand dollars was from us. What yes, putting
it all under miscellaneous, you know, and you on tour
and the like one hundred thousand dollars worth of miscellaneous
and we teenagers.

Speaker 1 (46:12):
We don't know, you know what I mean? Like then
the dude ran off, so we can't rest charge nothing. Wow.

Speaker 3 (46:18):
So yeah, that was a bad experience for me. Now,
and I've had account one or two and after that
that paid bills for us. But when I got like
mid twenties, early twenties somewhere in there, Yeah, I write
all my checks. I love my I write all of them.

(46:39):
Nobody is signing nothing for me same. You know, I
think I heard Oprah say that.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
Yep, she taked Tyler, and Tyler taught me I sit
there and watch him, and you know, it's a lot
of checks, yeah, he said, there and click every single one.

Speaker 1 (46:49):
And what is this yeah?

Speaker 3 (46:51):
Question is I'm like, yeah, nobody has permission to go
and sign nothing good for you, you know what I mean.
So that's important because even if you spending a lot,
you need to see see it go out, yes, and
see something coming into yeah, because like sometimes you be
spending and you don't realize yes. The other thing is

(47:12):
simple things like I always tell people, put your bill
money in one bank. You're spending money in a different bank.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
Come on, so your cash app and f off money,
you know, money you just mess up. Put that in
the other bank.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
Don't put it in your bill account because they will
go back if you overdraft. They're gonna overdraft out your
bill money if you send the same bank, right, And
so you need to have them in separate banks.

Speaker 1 (47:41):
And then that allows you to like.

Speaker 3 (47:42):
Okay, I'm gonna be able to budget my money right,
my bill's gonna be on time, and you know, everything's
gonna be right.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
I'm not gonna have anything coming out.

Speaker 3 (47:50):
Of this account and don't even keep an ATM card
for that account. Yep, I don't even have an ATM
card for my Yeah, so if somebody takes something out
of my wile you think you got my team car,
you ain't getting name, right, ain't getting name. It might
be two hundred dollars in there that you right have

(48:13):
at it not getting.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
To the real maybe, right, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (48:17):
So, yeah, you gotta be vigilant with things like that
because you could be your own worst enemy when it
comes to budgeting and spending.

Speaker 1 (48:26):
Yeah, and yeah, yeah that's real.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
You were nineteen years old when you bought your first
home and lkouj gave you advice and make sure you
have a car that you own, in a house that
you own, so you always have a car to get
around in a place.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
To lay your head. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
First of all, a lot of people cannot say they
bought a house at the age of nineteen.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
But so that's hats off to you for that.

Speaker 2 (48:46):
But what did that lesson teach you at a very
young age about just managing and home ownership, because that's
a big, big responsibility.

Speaker 3 (48:53):
Well, the other thing that he said was, every time
you get a check, throw a little bit extra towards
the principal, because you know, I allow you to, you know,
take years off your loan.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (49:05):
So as soon as he told me that, because I
used to when I was younger, I was better with
money than I am. Now, let me just say that,
I used to budget my check book down to the pennies.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
So I had way home.

Speaker 3 (49:18):
I looked at a little statement, and you know how
when you see and tell you the principal the text,
and then you know the.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
Insurance and all that.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
So when I added up my principal, I was like,
it's really not that much going a year towards the principal, right,
all of that's going to the interests and stuff.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
And the I realized what he.

Speaker 3 (49:40):
Was saying was right, and so I was like, okay,
if I just put like, you know, so even if
I got five hundred dollars, I'm putting the extra fifty
dollars to the principal, or I'm gonna put an extra,
you know, if I get a big check, extra thousand,
and then next thing, you know, and then over a
couple years, you knocked that thing going the way down,

(50:03):
you know, and it's important, especially when you are your
own boss entertainment, especially because you know our stuff is
up and down. You know, one minute you popping, you
making all the checks in the world, next minute you not.
And you know your run might last. You get your
good five ten years and some people think that never ends.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
And it does.

Speaker 3 (50:24):
But if you got a thirty year loan, know that
at the ten year mark, your checks is not gonna
be the same as when you first started it, or
your journey at your fifteen year mark is not gonna
be the same. Your job situation may change, anything could change.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
So stop thinking you got so much time and money
to be able to just blow right now, you know
what I mean?

Speaker 3 (50:48):
Because if you go ahead and start knocking that loan
down by the time you get fifteen years into it,
and you could just stop and then you don't have
a mortgage.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
Come on outright?

Speaker 3 (50:59):
What you know? Yes, things like that people don't even
think about, and it's little things that you can do.

Speaker 1 (51:06):
Yes, you know.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
Yeah, you talked about the life insurance policy and that
is still going viral.

Speaker 1 (51:13):
That interview was so long, Are you serious? Yeah, it
just popped back up.

Speaker 2 (51:17):
I was like, oh wow, it keeps popping up, and
I have a life insurance policy and that was a
part of the reason, like once you get investment life
where you can pull from it. And I was like,
oh wow, once she had a certain age, how old
were you when you learned about that?

Speaker 3 (51:32):
And so I was twenty six. That was the year
I had Riley and my intentions were to, you know,
make sure that Lord for being something happened to me,
because you know, I'm single. Mama, I'm like, Lord for me,
some don't make it out of here. At least she
got something right. So I had got a pretty big

(51:55):
policy at the time. But shout out to my people
who were at the bank, I don't care. She had
introduced me to at the first I think it was
the first one I did was with Hertford life okay,
and they had did this whole analysis and they broke

(52:17):
down how much I was going to because they say, okay,
how much money do you think you need to retire?
And back then I thought I was going to retire
at forty y'all.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
I don't know what was.

Speaker 3 (52:29):
I thinking, but they were like, okay, so this is
how much you got to put into it in order
to be able to retire at forty and get two
hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year. Now, mind you,
that was a lot of money I had to put
into it, yeah.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
Each year.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
But honestly, I ended up only having to put it
in for eight years. I thought I was gonna have
to put it into forty, but it was only to forty.
If I wanted to start pulling out at forty, yeah,
but to just lock it to where I never had
to put no more money.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
Into it, it was you know, like eight years.

Speaker 3 (53:05):
Yeah, So at that point I didn't put no more
in and it has grown.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
To the point now well until last year, I've.

Speaker 3 (53:17):
Up did tremendously, So it was so much in it
last year my bank is like, you know, if you won't,
you can just do this exchange thing and it will
triple them ount that yeah, that you were insured for previously. Wow,
But now I won't be able to pull out pull

(53:40):
any out for another few years. But during that time,
and let me just say, because so many people were like,
you know, it's it's difference of opinion.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
So some PEO people investors say.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
Well, the money that you put into that life insurance policy,
you could have put it in this.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
They're always going to have another.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
You know thing, and it would have grown this much
and you could have had that much and blah blah
blah blah.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
But what I knowing what I know now.

Speaker 3 (54:07):
So what I say, I always tell people to diversify.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
I don't just put in insurance.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
Obviously, you want to have the insurance, because one insurance, hey,
even if you ain't putting that much in it and
you kick the bucket tomorrow, your family got exactly whatever
insurance was.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
Working, right, Okay.

Speaker 3 (54:25):
But the other part of it is the money that
you put in there is it's kind of protected because people,
I mean, they could try, but they can't really sue
your life or just right right.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
But that's another thing. The other thing is.

Speaker 3 (54:40):
You can the way that the investment policy works, you're
able to borrow the money from your policy. So that's
money you're taking out tax free that you really ain't gonna.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
Pay it back, so as it's growing.

Speaker 3 (54:53):
So say, fran instance, when I bought my house and
I bought it for their closure, it was a foreclosure,
so at forecloses a lot of times you have to
pay cash for right, I was able to just go in,
pull the money out and buy the house.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
Yeah you know what I mean. And yeah, and I'm good,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (55:18):
So it's so it was so many benefits. And when
the market went crazy, you know, like remember that year when.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
Real estate everything with the hell, I can't remember, it
was crazy.

Speaker 3 (55:30):
Yeah, my insurance was still there. Yeah, it was still there.
You know, it didn't disappear, right, So I just rode
out the market, you know what I mean. Whereas some people,
you know, it was panicking, so they was pulling any
money out the stocks.

Speaker 1 (55:49):
It was pulling any money out.

Speaker 3 (55:50):
Of this and not realizing that eventually that stuff is
gonna come go back up and hire.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
So even the stocks that I had, I didn't. I
didn't panic. I just left there and it grew back,
It came back.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
So I do tell people you should have it diversified
and get your a little crypto too.

Speaker 1 (56:06):
Yes, okay, how gotten there? I got to get into that. Yes,
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
It's something about not being able to see it where
I'm like, how does this really work?

Speaker 3 (56:15):
You gotta take a little chance every now and then,
I'm gonna look into it for sure.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
You are.

Speaker 2 (56:21):
Now I'm actually producing your own Broadway. You're doing so
many different things outside of music.

Speaker 1 (56:29):
What pushed you? Just like I want to start producing
Broadway plays.

Speaker 3 (56:34):
Well, I feel like everything that I've done, I've always
liked to know. I like to know the behind the
scenes as well as in front.

Speaker 1 (56:42):
Don't matter if it was music.

Speaker 3 (56:43):
Obviously, I started going out and saying rain and producing
for other people TV film, I was on camera. Then
I started producing, and you know with film and television,
and same thing with Broadway. I was on Broadway with
Chicago on Broadway, and then I knew I wanted to

(57:05):
That was Mama back.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
It was Mama more.

Speaker 3 (57:07):
Yes, and I knew I wanted to go back at
some point, and I didn't know in which way. Yeah,
opportunity came up to be a producer, and that's when
I met my producing partner. Shout out to you, Brian Morland.
He was doing Thoughts of a Colored Man at the time.
I went to say it twice, so yes, you're welcome.

Speaker 2 (57:30):
It was so good, I want to tell you, cried
both times. Phenomenal like are they gonna bring that that?
Because we need to.

Speaker 3 (57:39):
But it was a great learning experience and but anyway
we it was during COVID and it was so much
going on it. Yeah, I was very emotional. We had
to shut it down early because of the rules, I remember. Yeah,

(58:01):
but we decided we was gonna go for another one
and we did and each time it has gotten better
and better and better, and I feel like I learned
more and more and now I feel like I'm official
in this lane.

Speaker 1 (58:15):
You just did like huge.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
And I actually kind of went too that twice because
Shauna and I were supposed to go and I bought
the tickets on the wrong day.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
Yeah, I got that.

Speaker 2 (58:24):
I'm like trying again, so I know I bought these tickets.
He's like, and I'm like, oh my gosh, looked at
the day.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
I was a week late. Oh my goodness. So I
went back.

Speaker 2 (58:32):
So yeah, I went to co Othello twice too, and
actually want to see it the second time and it.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
Was thank You're welcome. I appreciate, Yes, so proud of y'all.
That that was huge. Thank you.

Speaker 3 (58:43):
It was like a blessing. Like I was a I
was a theater kid when I was younger.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
I went to Tri Cities High School of Visual and
Performing Arts. Shout out to try High.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
Everybody that was, and I also was in the Youth
of Sumber of Atlanta. Shout out to Freddie Hendricks. So
that was something I did in my teen years that
I always wanted to do, but.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
Music took off first for me.

Speaker 3 (59:09):
And after a while being in music, I'm like, why
haven't I ever tried to go after my initial dream exactly?

Speaker 1 (59:21):
Why?

Speaker 3 (59:23):
So I just I had changed my agent and I
told them what I wanted to do. I wanted to
be on Broadway, and that's when I got the audition
to do the Chicago and Broadway and from there it
just was like I just wanted to expand.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
Yeah, I love that. When it comes to investments, what
has been like.

Speaker 2 (59:41):
The biggest thing that you were like, I regret doing
that that maybe an investment failed for you because you
had a lot of success.

Speaker 1 (59:49):
I'd take a lot of gimbals.

Speaker 3 (59:52):
Ooh, I've had a lot of things that have happened,
so many things. Let me just I could run a list.
I mean, I can start with music is always a gamble, Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
We love music. Music it's a gamble.

Speaker 3 (01:00:16):
I know at one time I was doing my own album,
and you know, when you are like an opening act,
sometimes you have to get tour support from your label
and stuff like that. And I remember my manager at
the time told me I was supposed to be getting
some money from the label that I was with at

(01:00:37):
the time. He was like, Oh yeah, they're going to
pay this and that, and I was going to be
on tour. So I started fronting the setup for myself, because.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
You know, you gotta get the hotels.

Speaker 3 (01:00:49):
It's a lot that talks about going on tours a
lot of things. So I started fronting all the money
for myself. But we about to actually leave to go out,
ain't came yet from I'm like, well, where the money
at what? And like two weeks and then the tour
after I'm like one hundred and some thousand dollars in,
he tells me that they said that they weren't paying it.

(01:01:12):
Oh no, he gotta pay that because what no, I
had money gone, Oh my god. And I'm wanted those
people like I don't mind gambling, but I like to prepare,
Like I'd be like, Okay, I'm gonna gamble this on that.
But when you don't know that you're gambling, when you
spend right and you don't know that this had to

(01:01:34):
come back exactly, yeah, sad go. I had to grind
that money right back. I was like, oh my god,
we gotta get back, get to the streets.

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
What are we doing?

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
So?

Speaker 3 (01:01:47):
Yeah, now I've been gambling on a girl group you know, yes,
how do you pronounce it for them?

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
Siren? Siren? Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:01:54):
Yeah, And I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars. People
don't know how much it takes to like get a
girl group of off. And it gets started so expensive,
so expensive, and one of the girls quit what yes,
did she know how much you've been investing in her?

Speaker 1 (01:02:12):
In them? Ken? Anyway? Like, what are you like infuriated?
Are you like what is happening?

Speaker 3 (01:02:19):
I am so infuriated, solid infuriated, because it's one thing
when you're gambling on someone on yourself, but when you
gambling on other people's and you want to see other people.

Speaker 1 (01:02:33):
When more than they want to see it.

Speaker 3 (01:02:36):
You you have to understand that when you see it
for somebody else so bad that you're willing to put
your money on the line for them, and then only
for it to fall apart, only for you to know
that people are going to be.

Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
Like, whoa, they should have did this? So why Kendy
didn't do this.

Speaker 3 (01:02:55):
Look, and I've been thinking about all this money I
don't expect, right shah. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's the
behind the stuffing, behind the scenes stuff people don't see.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
Yes, and then you meet I meet a million people
of that. It's like, Candy, will you do this for me?
Or you invest that in me?

Speaker 3 (01:03:16):
And when you they don't understand where the apprehension comes
from because it's not the first time that I've tried
to help another artist or whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:03:29):
And you know, now I'm like trying to.

Speaker 3 (01:03:31):
Figure out, like, Okay, what are we doing this situation.
I still got two more young ladies that are extremely
talented that I still want them to win, And it's like,
you know, where do we go from here?

Speaker 1 (01:03:42):
You know what I'm saying? So it is yeah, yeah,
I want to ask you something.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
It just came to me as you were saying that
everybody's a candy candy, candy, candy candy. When you go
home at night after heavy days, like what is your reset?

Speaker 1 (01:03:59):
Like how do you with everything?

Speaker 3 (01:04:01):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:04:04):
Cause seems like it's a lot. Yeah, it is a lot.
My last week was heavy.

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
I decided to go to a hotel and treat myself
to a spot.

Speaker 1 (01:04:14):
Good for you.

Speaker 3 (01:04:17):
And at home, whether it's it's staycation. But honestly, I
don't really take a lot of time for myself. I
don't really take a lot of time to.

Speaker 1 (01:04:29):
Woo saw. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:04:31):
I'm always just jumping to the next thing and trying
to keep things going business wise, or to keep my
focus in a good place.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
Because you know, you creative.

Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
I'm a creative, so you know, sometimes that creative energy
just picks you up.

Speaker 1 (01:04:51):
It does you know what I mean. It puts another
It puts a battery in your back, and you're like, yeah,
it definitely puts a battery in your back.

Speaker 3 (01:04:57):
So that and hanging out with my kids, you know,
that's the fun stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:05:02):
Yeah. Do you ever feel like you're pulling from an
empty cup? Completed? So I want to challenge you to
take time for yourself. That's important. That's crazy that you're like,
I don't do that. You have to.

Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
Yeah, I think in those moments you'll probably Which is
a big part of the fasting right now is because
I'm like you, I'm like, go, go go, how can
we build?

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
How can we scale?

Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
It's like, okay, I need to be sale for a minute,
you know, and really like figure out what do I
truly want? Am I like in a rat race right now?

Speaker 1 (01:05:28):
Am I just going on a.

Speaker 2 (01:05:28):
Hamster wheel and circles to really figure out what it
is that you want and like find those moments of
just candies happiness because it sounds like you feed into
a lot of people and everybody's like, can you give me,
give me, give me, give me.

Speaker 1 (01:05:39):
Give me, gim me. Yeah. Yeah, someone I want to
challenge you to do that because you need that sis
oh truy, Yes, dude, I'm tried. We gotta do it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:48):
I'm telling you, like I tell my people all the time,
like listen, if you need a moment, like go like
I please, because we can't be our best sales and
show us our best sales if we always exhausted and
always like constantly having to like think of the next thing.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
That is true. Yeah, that's true. You can do it.
I got a real busy end of year.

Speaker 2 (01:06:04):
Yeah, you probably need a little moment right before that,
just so you can push through that.

Speaker 1 (01:06:09):
Even if it's just a little staycation on the weekend,
you can do it. Something something. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:14):
When it comes to this season where it's all about impact, now, when.

Speaker 1 (01:06:19):
Your story is told years from now, what do you want.

Speaker 2 (01:06:23):
Candy Burst's legacy to be when they talk about you?

Speaker 3 (01:06:26):
Oh, you know, it's always kind of weird when people
ask me that question because I'd be like, what are
they gonna say about me?

Speaker 1 (01:06:37):
When I'm always thinking about that, I was like, what
are they going to say? I want people to say
and that.

Speaker 3 (01:06:49):
I was a woman who opened doors for a lot
of people, and I helped a lot of people along
the way, Like I wanted to be so many people
that stand up and say Candy looked out for me,
you know what I mean, and or you know, whatever
the experience was helped them in some way, Like you know, obviously,

(01:07:10):
I want to set my kids up for greatness and
I want them to be set up to enjoy life
and be happy. Yes, and but I want, you know,
to feel like I helped my community, I helped my friends,
I helped my family, and.

Speaker 1 (01:07:31):
I did it with no complaints. Yes, I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
I love that when you're saying that that people that
you looked out for people. I remember it was very small,
but it meant so much to me. We were at
fashion week and it was my first fashion week and
I'm standing in the room at the basement of Sergio
Hudson Show, and like everybody's like Kenny, Kenny, everybody take
pictures and they're like nobody's like Crystal, listen to get
a picture, and you're like, Crystal.

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
Come on. And it was just the moment of being
seen in a room where you got here. It comes again.
I'm not going to cry today, You're not going to
do this. I was like, I can't believe I made
it without.

Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
But it's a moment of like being seen in a
room where you feel invisible, and in that moment you
saw me. I think that was just a small glimpse
of me being able to see your heart and who
you are. And I was like, now, thank to you.
Then I was like, thank you so much because you
didn't have to do that. You're like, no, you're welcome,
but it was so sweet.

Speaker 1 (01:08:18):
I was like it may have been small to you,
but it was really big to me. Thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:08:22):
I mean overall, like I told you, I love what
you're doing. Your growth, you know, I remember you know
before you start being on TV.

Speaker 1 (01:08:31):
Yeah, just hang around go set and being around.

Speaker 3 (01:08:33):
Yeah, just being in the same circle. I just always
I admired your you know, your journey that you thank you. Yeah,
and I'm like, anything that i could do to help
shine a light, I'm going to do that.

Speaker 1 (01:08:45):
I appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (01:08:46):
Yeah, I feel that, and I know my community is
rooting for you. We're going to support everything you have
going on. And is there if there's anything like upcoming
that we can jump on when this episode airs, please
let us know. Yeah, let us know how we can
swart and we'll make sure that we put that in
the cabs and say hey, make sure y'allso wor candy
or put in our stories.

Speaker 1 (01:09:03):
Whatever we can do. We got you. Says yes, absolutely,
thank you so much, but thanks for having me. Yes,
had a good time.

Speaker 2 (01:09:11):
Yes, if you could tell our audience where they can
find you, Okay, hey, everybody, you can find me at
Candy KA n d I on pretty much all social
media platforms, Candy online, on YouTube, on Patreon, it's Candy too,
KA n d I.

Speaker 3 (01:09:28):
And oh I always tell people to text me. Oh yeah,
you know, I got a little text family. Always shout
out I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:09:37):
Text me.

Speaker 3 (01:09:38):
The number is four zero four four five eight nine
four six four four zero four four five eight nine
four six four, Text me tell me what you thought
about this interview.

Speaker 1 (01:09:48):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:09:49):
Make sure you guys tapping with Candy. Thank you guys
so much, and Candy, thank you for your time.

Speaker 1 (01:09:53):
Thank yes.

Speaker 2 (01:09:57):
All right, So today's fit, I am wearing it a
chocolate brown Ronnie Cobo dress. Absolutely love this dress. Earring's
Bible Teca Vanetta. My bracelet is by tom Ford and Cardier.
Wearing my signature jewelry, and my shoes are a gold
metallic pump by Docea and Gabana. Sweetie, today's conversation was

(01:10:18):
everything it really was. It was fun, it was unfiltered
and full of gems that only Candy could give.

Speaker 1 (01:10:23):
You know, I love that she's.

Speaker 2 (01:10:24):
Always showing that you can build an empire and still
be your authentic self every step of the way. I
really enjoyed having this conversation, and I hope you enjoyed
it just as much as I did. In the meantime
in between time, keep it positive, sweeties, and if you
know someone that could use a little positivity, share this
podcast with them.

Speaker 1 (01:10:41):
See you guys next time.