The Pro

Arden Myrin is solo again (Julie Anne is off working!) and she is joined today by her Chelsea Lately and Insatiable cast mate and stand up comedian Sarah Colonna about life as a headliner on the road, how she develops her material, and standing up for yourself!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hello, that's no need distress's yes. Hello. Welcome to another

(00:30):
episode of Lady of the Road. My name is Arden Marine,
coming to you from my steamy garage in Los Angeles, California.
Once again, that was Mark Rivers with the future Grammy
winning song Lady of the Road. My friend is here.
This is a woman that I love who uh. We
were on Chelsea Lately together for many years. She was
a writer on there. She was a regular round table panelist.

(00:54):
She was also on the show Insatiable with Me, where
she played Angie Angie Blue Dell. Uh, you know, mom
doing her best try. And she's also on Shameless. We've
got We've had our parallel roads. And she is a
New York Times best selling author, Life as I Blow

(01:14):
It is one book and the other one. Has anyone
seen my pants? Ladies and gentlemen, Lovely, the delightful, the
amazing stand up comedian actress, author, writer Sarah kelowna thank you.
I'm like, I can you do my intros forever and always?
I know, I mean like, I know you have other
ships to do, but dude, you know it's so funny.
Jen Kirkman said the same thing, because I, I I mean,

(01:36):
we could just get right to it. One of the
hardest things to I don't know if this happens to guys.
It must happen to guys, but be in a comic
on the road, the intros like so, so let's just
let's just put this up for our listeners out there.
There's sort of when you're coming up through comedy, you
have you have a host that is sort of like

(01:57):
the m C. They sort of greet you, they talk
about like the specials of the night. Then you might
have somebody to do like ten minutes, and then there's
like the headline of the feature that does, like, you know,
twenty five minutes, and then the headliner and the host's
main job nain job, aside from selling drinks, that's the
main job, their second job. All they need to do
is memorize who you are, the gist of how to

(02:19):
say your name, and maybe a credit like I'll take
one credit in a name pronunciation and nine times a
name pronunciation. I mean, you must get it way worse
than I even do with the name pronunciation. Do you
have any memory of one of the worst intros you
ever got? Oh? For sure, one was I was introduced
as Sarah Cabana not even fucking close, like not even close.

(02:44):
And I understand the colowna klanna, you know, I understand
not knowing how to pronounce it. But as someone who
also had to host, and I say had to because
obviously nobody's trying to, you know, host, like it's it's
something you gotta do. You're not that's not your end game, right, No,
it's like the JV team. It's like you gotta play
j V before you get to varsity. Yeah, yeah, we

(03:06):
need the host. We appreciate the host, but you definitely
are hoping to move past hosting, right, Yes, So as
someone who had to do it myself, I'm very aware
that you need to fucking memorize the person's name, and
first and foremost, it's just mostly because like not only
is it rude, not too, but if the audience is

(03:28):
if you're headlining, a lot of the audience is there
to see you, right, so they pay they know your name.
So it's actually just more embarrassing to walk on stage
after someone's like Sarah Capana and you're like, that's actually
not It's an interesting thing where you also wonder I
always felt like, as a lady, you don't want to

(03:48):
look like a dick and be like, oh, it's marine,
it's not my rind isn't like you don't want to
cut like like to me. The main thing is you
have to get them to like you within the first
five minutes. If you can get them on your side,
then you're okay. And it's like but they also a
lot of people know that you've kind of been disrespected,
so you sort of have to deal with it. Do

(04:10):
you correct them when you get up there? So I
spent a lot of time not correcting people and like
and and an embarrassing amount of time. And honestly it
is because we as women think like we're going to
look like a bit like if if a guy went
up and corrected his name, nobody thinks twice about it.
But there is a world where we seem bitchy if

(04:30):
we correct it right. And so I spent so much
time not doing it. But now I do, and first
I do it very politely. I'm like, easy mistake. But
it's cologna, not kalanna. It's usually those two, you know,
it's Cabanah was just the most egregious. What city were you?
And when you got called Sarah? Caabannah Los Angeles here

(04:51):
right here in Los Angeles. That's even worse. Yeah, I know.
And I was like, and I know, like I was like,
I know all of you. You know, that's even worse.
That's the w um. But on the road it's usually
a colonic cologna debate, and that's fine. And I and
many times people ask me ahead of time, which, by
the way, is the responsible thing to do for anyone

(05:11):
you're gonna I don't care what your job is. If
you're introducing someone, you just check ahead of time. How
do I pronounce your last name? I think I might,
you know, I just want to make sure. I had
a guy. It was a male host. He got it
wrong the first night, so I didn't correct him on
the spot. At the end of the night, I was like, oh, hey,
just for tomorrow, it's cologna not Colanna. And I'm not

(05:32):
kidding you. That was my tone. I was like, just
for tomorrow, yeah, and he's like, oh, oh oh sorry.
I'm like, no big deal, just it's cologna not Colona.
Right next night, Kalana, third night, Kalana. No matter what
I said, And so then it fell on purpose. You
just know, there's something behind it. Well, then you're also

(05:52):
I would say most of my features have been lovely.
Like most of the people, I've never had a woman like.
They never pair me with the female feature. It's always
a guy. Have you ever been paired? Do you? I
am now um with I use this girl Mary Radzinski?
Who to you? So you can request? You get to

(06:13):
request sometimes and I'm still even scared to do that.
But I've never been able to request. So I get
paired with people. It depends on where you are, but
you can definitely say, like, hey, I have someone i'd
like to bring you know, if they haven't already booked someone, um,
but you can. You can definitely request if you asking
enough in advance, if they haven't already. So, so you
grew up in Arkansas. I just want to start on

(06:35):
a back up a lot of us. You grew up
in Arkansas? And is it? Did you always want to
be a stand up? No? I don't. I mean I did,
but I don't know I did, but I don't know
why if that makes sense, Like I didn't have access
to it. There wasn't a comedy club and I grew
up in Farmington, Arkansas, which is a very small town

(06:56):
at the time a thousand on that one thousand. Yeah,
we had three thousand in my town. Yeah, I think
there's there's probably like three or five now. And you
have a high school there. Yeah, Oh, we don't have
a high school. What did your parents do? My mom
works at a funeral home. Yeah. Have you talked about
that on stage? I do, Yeah, because I have I

(07:19):
have a very like insane fear of death, and I
and yeah. But at the same time, I'm so, I know,
it's like so every day to me, because what did
she do at the funeral home? She's a receptionist, like
she's basically runs it like she's It's a small, family
owned funeral home. So a lot of did you spend
like after school time? They're like, yeah, did you see

(07:39):
a lot of dead bodies? Yeah? So I was sometimes
because my parents were divorced when I was five, So
by the time my mom was working in Arkansas at
this funeral home, I didn't. I was, you know, I
guess what they call what do they call latchkey kid? Like,
you go home, your mom's out there. So a lot
of times I would go to her work to wait
for her to get off work, and there was a
room with a TV in it, and I guess it's

(08:03):
just for like the waiting room basically, and they put
me in there. Well, my mom got off work and
one time they came by and they closed they like
they left the door open. But what time they came
by and they closed the door and they go, We're
just going to close the door and please knock if
you need to use the restroom or something. And I
was like what So I kind of forgot to knock
before I did have to go the bathroom. So I

(08:25):
opened the door and there was just a full body
in a coffin used to go out for a viewing.
Was like, how close did you get? Did you scream?
I just quickly closed the door and then and then
started knocking. Now remember it was like she was fully
laid out, like ready to go, like her makeup was
done and her hair was done. And it always feels

(08:47):
like a Sundance movie. Whenever I've seen a body, I
feel like it feels very out. You're like this, I
feel like I'm in some weird Philip steem or Hoffman movie,
like just some cool sun Is. It's just very it's
very herald and mo just I don't just very strange.
It's just weird. It's just weird to see a body
like lifeless but also made up like it was. Did
she still work there? Yeah, she's worked there for like

(09:10):
over thirty years. So when you did you do like
school plays and stuff? Like? Were you were? I mean,
hate this question. I hate the question. I'm not even
asking it. I'm not gonna ask it. I hate question. Yeah,
I hate that fucking phrase. I mean, I'm changing it back.
I'm not asking that. Okayo, did you don't ask it?
Did you do plays and stuff? We didn't. So we

(09:31):
didn't even have a drama department. He didn't have. It
was a very small high school at the time. It's
bigger now, but at the time, I mean I graduated
with seventy five people, so we didn't even have a
drama department. What I did was I was but I
still set like I was, like, I'm going to be
an actor and a stand up and a writer like
I wanted to do. But you knew all three that

(09:51):
you wanted to do all through. Yeah, well, I mean
I think the writing thing, I wasn't necessarily what I said,
but it was like, but I want to write my
own stand up so I'll be a writer. Like it
was kind of in that world in my head, you know.
And then when I started college, like when I but
and I was like when I went to college there
in Fayette, Arkansas, which is much bigger and but right

(10:11):
outside of where I lived. I did major in theater there.
So that's like the first time I actually did place
and stuff was really in college. Where was your first
stand up? Set? In Los Angeles? Which is such a
weird place to start standing. It's a hard stand up
I actually think l A is the hardest town to
do stand up in. To me, no, I definitely think it.

(10:33):
I mean, I'm sure other people would have different opinions,
but I agree with you personally because like New York,
there's more of a scene, and I don't think it's
easy to get into, but it's a scene and there's
like whereas l A. And when I started in the
mid nineties, it was like or like I guess it
was late nineties, it was like probably when first, it

(10:54):
was like you know, coffee shops and you know, you
get like three minutes and you had to bring people
and I didn't know anyone, so I had to have
friends to bring people to come to these shitty open
mics in the middle of a coffee shop or a
job of juice or whatever like it was not I
was doing stand up in New York around then, and

(11:15):
were you often the only woman on the lineup? There
were some times No, there was some other girls. Honestly,
Chelsea Handler was one of them. I was doing it
with like Chelsea a lot. We were kind of like
met in an improv class, so we were kind of
doing open mics together at the time. How old were
you when you guys met twenty eyes? That must have

(11:38):
been a younger. But I moved here, and I'm very
bad with ages and years and not because they tried
to hide it. But I moved here and I met
her shortly after. And I was twenty one when I
moved here because it was right after college, so whatever
something like that. I met her. How when you started,
like when you started stand up, I feel like to me,
stand up is one of the like it's not something

(12:02):
that you can practice in your like you literally learn
on the job. The only way to get learn how
to do stand up is by doing stand up. There's
like many times of eating ship along the way and
like like stealing yourself and figuring it out, and but
like the only way to do it is just to
do it. Like what when did you start to feel

(12:24):
like you were finding your voice, finding enjoying it, like
finding your groove. I think the first time I did
like a like not a real show because it wasn't
as if I got paid or and and basically it
was like all my friends and family in the audience. Um.
But I did a show at the ice House, which
is that's a great club. Yeah, and they have a

(12:45):
like an annex behind it, so it wasn't even on
the main stage. But there was this guy that booked
like you know, comedians to do this show behind the
ice House that was like not behind it. I mean
it was in a room. It wasn't in the it
wasn't in the parking lot, but it was and you
had to bring friends and then and then you would
get like ten minutes, like the first time I got
to do more than like, you know, three to five minutes.

(13:07):
That's the other hard part about Los Angeles is like
it's all just you just get a few minutes. And
then even when you're doing even when you're like I
mean it's different now obviously for when you have a
name and then also the bigger names, but when you're
first starting out at the improv in the Comedy Store
and the laugh Factory, like if you can even get
in the rotation somehow, you're still only there for three
to five minutes on stage. I think three to five

(13:29):
three to five minutes to me is harder than forty
five minutes, like because you're trying to pack crams so
much in and at least in forty five minutes, like
you can you get a little time to get in
the pool to get people to like, you know, you
can win them over, and then like you can you
get goodwill on your side so you can take some
risks and chances like later on. Yeah, there's no wiggle

(13:53):
room in the three minutes, and it's so hard to
build up to forty five minutes when you're only getting
three to five, right, Like that's big trick is like
how do I how do I write forty five minutes
of material when I never get to like do more
than three to five on stage. So yeah, I think
the first time I really had fun with it was
at the ice House at that annex, and it was
granted it was packed with my friends and family, but

(14:14):
I was like, oh, I kind of get my voice
what I'm doing sort of the direction I want to
go right now. You know. One of the reasons are
my fairy godmother Julianne, who's not who's off working today,
is not with us today. One of the reasons we
wanted to do this was like we wanted to celebrate
and highlight these women who are headliners and are you

(14:38):
know and and and particularly I think came up in
a time when I know, when I've toured, I've signed
my poster for the green room, and you look around
and maybe there's at the time there was maybe five
women on the like the whole walls, and there's like
just a few lot of guys. Yeah, yeah, there's a
lot of guys. I mean, so when you started, when

(15:01):
you started touring, like did you find I mean, this
still happens to me sometimes, like when you show up
and the club is like, oh, are you with the
bachelorette party? Like things like that. People did you ever
have just earning this sort of like commanding the room
is like, yeah, I am a human female and I
am I am the headliner, Like did you get people.

(15:23):
I mean sometimes I still get like someone like, oh,
do you have a ticket, And I'm like, no, no,
I don't even think that's really being disrespectful. They probably
do it to the guys too. To me, that's more
like the person working the door not paying attention, Like
just look to your left, see what the poster is
for the night, and then recognize that face when it
walks in and you're like, I've been here like four times,

(15:44):
it's like my fourth time. Like I've been here four
years in a row. I'm on the poster behind you,
like or when you go to morning radio and they're like,
when is the comedian? They think you're the publicist. I've
had once the comedian getting here, You're like, I'm like,
I think if my name is somewhat androgynous, you know,
like Artens could be a guy's name, like there there

(16:06):
are some male Artens, and so they they'll always ask
me when the comedian and I'm thinking, like how many
more like these? Some guys have like one three minute
credit on like you know, one three minute thing on
like some some late night set, you know, and you're like,
I also, just why wouldn't we just do a quick
Google's like I mean, and believe me. I understand radio

(16:28):
hosts have people coming in now all day, but you
would think you would just be like, oh, it's Ef.
We have a comedian coming at nine. Yes, maybe it's
a person I haven't heard of. So I'm just gonna
do a quick google. Yah, there's a there's a photo
of Arten. It's a lady, Okay, when she comes in,
I'm gonna know. When you tour, do you actually ever
go do anything? Have you ever gone and done anything

(16:50):
in the cities you do? I feel like I went
to Denver after you'd been there and the openers like
do you and you guys have been to like a
game or something? I feel like you actually I do?
I do stuff. I definitely do. It's funny because I
know that I feel like there's there's no one between.
There's either someone a comedian that goes and does stuff
or there's a comedian that's just in their fucking hotel
room all day and doesn't is that you I'm I'm

(17:15):
in the hotel room all day. I've been I've been
with comics who are than I do stuff, and it's
actually good for me because then I will join. I'm
a social person, so I will go join you, but
on my own. I will not on my own all. Actually,
I think I do more stuff even on my own
than I do with like say if my husband happens

(17:35):
to get to go with me that weekend, or say
if I'm traveling with a like another comedian. A lot
of times I'm like this girl Mary that I was
speaking about earlier. I now that I know her really
well and she's fantastic by the way, for people to
look her up. Mary Redzinski another she's definitely going to
be headlining. Uh is already headlining. But it's just I
just want to callug her because she's awesome u uh

(17:58):
and she uh. She like sometimes when we tour together,
I'll be like, Hey, I'm gonna go do this thing,
but zero pressure on you because she's a little bit
more of like I like to stay in my hotel room.
I'm like, I want to invite you, but you don't
need to do what I'm doing. Like, if you want
to stay in I get it. So there's no what
do you know? What I mean? Like, this is you're
going to a new town, how do you prep? Like,

(18:18):
what do you what are you looking for It's not
really that I'm looking for anything for material. I just
feel like I think I used to sit in my
hotel room more. And then one day I was like,
I'm traveling constantly for work. I'm going to all these
cities and then I leave and sort of feel like
I never saw the city. Why don't like, as a
person that loves to tray, I think I just like
like to travel more now. So I'm like, why wouldn't

(18:41):
I just sort of be like, oh, I went to
North Carolina and this is now I went to even
if it's just like I had their barbecue or you
know what I mean, Like I like go to lunch,
I met I am. I am a sportsperson, so like
a couple of times, you know, usually we're performing at
night obviously, and usually sports or night. But I've been
to like a city on a weekend, like Minnesota is

(19:03):
a good example. I was there on a weekend and
they had a day game. So I just like went
on StubHub and bought myself a day time Saturday afternoon
two o'clock ticket and went to a baseball game and
saw their stadium and then did my show that night.
Like I kind of feel like I wish I was
weird like that. Like I hear that, I'm like that
sounds so balanced, Like that feels like you've had an adventure.

(19:27):
I mean, it is fun, but I also get wanting
to just be like, I'm not leaving my hotel room
for the whole day. So I kind of get, you know,
I get books. Do you are part of it? I
get I'm such an anxious person and I have such
a weird prep and it's so much energy gets expended
that I'd almost feel like I'm like a spring, like
a slinky that needs to recoil so that when I

(19:49):
am on stage I can go bounce around. I have
to kind of be quiet in order to you get
ready for all that energy. Yeah, but if you're alone
and you're going to like a restaurant or a ball game,
and you don't have to talk to anyone, that's what
you're right. You don't need a nap or anything beforehand? No,
not really, I don't. I'm not a big napper. I

(20:10):
wish I was. I wish I could nap. Do you
get nervous before shows? Ever? Do get very nervous? That
makes me get very nervous. And I actually think kind
of being out and about is That's a way that
I called myself a little bit because I think if
I just sat in my hotel room all day, I
would that's when the anxiety like ramps up. Um. I
definitely need to be like in my room, you know,

(20:33):
two two and a half hours before for sure, to
go over my notes, do my process of even if
it's just that, like I like to do my makeup
and then go go over my notes and then kind
of fix my hair and then go over my notes
and then needs something and then go like whatever it is.
So I'm definitely not out up until the last minute.
Like I can't even process going into clob at the

(20:53):
last minute. Some people are like headliners will just show
up like five minutes before they're set. I got to
be there at the beginning of the night. I want
the feature. I want to see everything. I want to know.
I want to make sure we don't you know, accidentally
cover the same topic too. Similarly, I want to make
sure I know what the crowd's responding to. I want

(21:15):
to and you want to make sure. I feel like
it's just really responsible, especially with a feature, because sometimes
they do a little crowd work, and you want to
make sure you don't walk in and say something similar
to the same person that they just did and you
have no idea and or if there's info you need
to know that you can use that's already been put
out there. What when when you're nervous, what is your

(21:36):
what is it? What flavor of fear is your brain
telling you? Um mind? Just oh god. My main thing
is like I just always think I'm just gonna like
forget everything. It's like my brain is always like and
I guess that's why I kind of obsessively go over notes,
because yes, I have a set, but also I like
to go off that. And also when you're you know,

(21:57):
I like to mix it up. I never want to
get bored. So a lot of times, especially when I'm
trying something I knew that's like longer than a quick
new you know, dipping the water something like that's like
a newer story that's like longer and bigger. I get
worried that I'm gonna forget to put it in. And
so mine's it's definitely a memory stuff that I always

(22:18):
worry about me too. I remember on Mad TV the
hair Department Matthew who was the head of the hair department,
who was so great. Before one of the shows, I
was like, going, it was one of my last episodes,
and I, you know, it was like eode and I
remember panicking that. I was like, I just I think
I'm gonna forget. I'm forgetten he goes art And you
realize you've said that every episode since you've been here,

(22:42):
and you're the one person who's never forgotten, Like, so
clearly I must get something out of the fact that
I think I'm gonna Like that's part of the process,
is like the panic. Oh, I agree, No, I definitely
think if you're over, if you're worried about that all
the time, it's probably something you're never gonna do, you
know what I mean, Like you're never gonna get. But
it's and maybe that's why you're like I'm a pretty

(23:04):
good memorizer as it is just in general. So maybe
that's why because I was worried about I don't know, Yeah,
the and my anxiety comes out and like a little
like stuff like my stomach feels weird and I sweat
a lot. I'm a big sweater. I have to run
to the restroom like like P. Fifteen. I mean, you've
you've seen it. It's like she couldn't possibly have any
liquid left in It's like, no, I gotta go, I

(23:26):
gotta go now, and uh, it's it's a definitely a journey.
Do you have any favorite Like I feel like I've
actually once in a while when I have let myself
go out and have fun on the road. Like it's
a weird thing where where one of the privileges I

(23:49):
think of when I think about my friends, it's such
a specific job choice. And when I think about my
friends back home, who you know, they have their job,
and I've always sort of envied like they know when
their vacation is, they know when they're going back to work.
They know like the I sometimes envy the structure of that.
But then when I've the privilege of sort of I

(24:09):
feel like when you're touring, you're almost like crowdsurfing America,
Like if you give in to like actually just saying
yes to some of the things you're offered, you know,
even with some of the other comics like going, I
remember I went, like we went and saw all the
huskies in Alaska and saw the Northern Lights and went
and drink and like an ice cave and just you

(24:31):
know there's things that with people I probably won't see again,
and you know that that you get the feeling that
like I always think of it was like the circuses
come to town and people want to have an experience
with you, and once in a while, like when I've
given into that, it's fun. Like do you have any
fun memories from the road. Yeah, I mean I think
like I love going to Austin. Um, I love Austin.

(24:54):
It's just fun and it's just like they have so
much good food and just like beautiful. I don't know,
just like one day I did. I had I know
some girls that own a restaurant there, and they took
me out kind of like food hopping one night before
like one day before the show, like you know and
try like you gotta try the barbecue at this place
and this place in this place. But I was like
in that case, You're like I got to be back

(25:16):
in my room at like four because I need three
and a half hours to digest this food and not
feel like a month what they like food monster when
I go on stage. But yeah, I just sort of
like getting out and about and kind of being around
so funny talking like I've so many of the guy
my guy friends, like the classic comedy condo, like the

(25:37):
experience of got Like have you ever hooked up with
an so For people who are listening, there's a thing
called the comedy condo, which there's comedy clubs and they'll
own this condo that oftentimes they will put the comics
sense they don't have to pay for a hotel room.
And I learned early on as a lady, you really
don't want to say yeah, you tell them because you

(25:58):
don't want it. Because people are like, oh, I've had
sex with so and so in that, but like that,
I have like had sex with three fans in that,
But like you, just I don't want to picture the
ghost of my friends past. Just like, Yeah, Denver Comedy Works.
Nice condo, that's den com Yeah, that's where you want
to stay in the condoc It's the only one I've
stayed in and it's so beautiful. Have you ever made

(26:23):
out with somebody that you met that came to one
of your shows, like a comedy fan one time? Yes,
his name is Jason and it was in Florida and
he was super hot. Yes, I don't regret it at all.
You shouldn't know. He was lovely. I know. I always
I'm like, I feel like the guys are having such
a different experience than I'm having, you know, like I
go home my guy. Yeah they are. It's usually and

(26:47):
also just like it's not even about like male versus
female or what you do or don't want to do,
but like it's a it's a I don't want to say,
a safety issue, but it kind of is like, yeah, women,
we're ladies, were like, probably we're not gonna be more
prone to being like invite this person into our personal space. Um,
you know that we don't know. But there was Yeah,

(27:08):
there was a guy that I kind of like hung
out with him during the day by the pool. He
came to my show, and then he like kind of
approached me the next day by the pool and we
talked and I was like, this guy's hot and he
seemed very normal and so a little makeout session. I
was obviously single at the time. Last year it was
less more. It's completely does John tour with you? He

(27:34):
does sometimes like when he can so work wise, if
he's able to, he will come with me. And he
really it's funny because he likes it. Like I feel
like when you know, when we're doing a club, right,
you're doing five shows mostly four or five shows in
a week, right, a Thursday through Saturday, one Thursday to
Friday to Saturday. From the people that the worst is

(27:55):
when when they make you do a Sunday's Sunday Sunday's. Um,
You're just like this is when I should be flying home,
and mind is just like it's like nobody's no one's laughing.
It's Sunday, you know, yeah, because like sixty minutes, it's
like not a funny night. You know, it's a night,
It's not a funny night. But he'll come and he

(28:16):
was like he will sit through each show, and I'm like,
I've told him so many times a week. You can
go to dinner, you can go to a bar, you
can you do not have to sit through my actual
hour that you just watched last night. That yes, I
tweak it and change it up to keep myself entertained,
but for the most part, you know what's going to

(28:38):
happen in that in that weekend, right, Like you know
what I'm going to talk about. So you've seen it Thursday.
Now you're gonna come Friday. That's great, Friday late night,
You're gonna still sit there and he loves it, Like
he sits in the back of the room, he drinks
his life and he loves it. And I can't imagine.
To me, I'm like, I think I'm going to be
the person that makes you hate stand up because you've
seen you just seem too much. That is the sweetest

(29:01):
thing I have ever I mean is that I can't
even imagine. I cannot imagine. I don't love anybody that much.
I don't know. I don't when my friends have shows,
I'm like, sorry, I don't. I don't really go to
shows any No, no, no, miss Sarah. I've always admired
just you're like you're confidence and your swagger and like

(29:27):
I feel like you're like a like the like the
boss vibe. Did you ever doubt yourself coming up? Did
you have people ever sort of like treat you like, oh,
you can't do that? Like, was there ever moments where
you've doubted yourself along the way? Like have people tried
to sort of put you in a box that you
didn't like? Oh? Yeah, I mean I definitely think I

(29:49):
doubt it myself I'm glad that you think I come
across that way, and it's definitely probably the face you
have to put on. And I feel that we're confident
now for sure. But yeah, that was definitely um up
and down times and times where I was like, I
don't even know if I you know, especially if you
have like a bad night of a of a show.
I mean, luckily those don't you know. Once we're helbliners.

(30:12):
Like I'm not saying I'm not saying it it's easy
and you don't have bad nights but are hard, Yeah,
but they still it's they're like less now because you
are you have fans and you have people that know
who you are and coming to see you instead of
walking up is this unknown you know, prejudged who's this girl?

(30:34):
Bullshit that we have to deal with in the beginning.
I remember one of my worst nights. I don't even
know if you were there. It was in Atlanta at
what is that? What's that? The punch line, the laughing skull,
laughing skull, And I remember I didn't get to go
to that, thank god, thank god. So I had done it.
I had done it the week before and it was

(30:55):
really fun. I had a great time. The crowd was great, um,
and I I was I didn't know that this was
a much more expensive night and the crowd it was
more like rich golf club crowd. Like the first night
was like fun young Atlanta. I think it was like
five bucks to get in, and this was it was

(31:18):
what I guess because it was Saturday night. It was
much more. It was just a completely different club. The
vibe was completely different, and I remember I don't generally
love having people I know in the audience, but everybody
was like, we're gonna come support you. It was like
newly at Insatiable season one. So it was like Alissa

(31:39):
Milano and her entire family and her husband that like
ran Cia, her parents are show runner, our entire new
cast like Andre already and it's not even I don't
even know what happened, like the best night. I don't
want any of them. And it was truly like, um,
not to be moro, but like my dad had died

(32:01):
like two months earlier, so I was like a little vulnerable,
but like I'm gonna understand up again. So I feel
like myself when I'm in an Airbnb and like it
went well, So this is a good thing to do,
but I didn't have like the skin on me to
roll with it. And uh, the opener was just like
super dirty and angry and like attacking the crowd and

(32:22):
like filthy, and her I just kept picturing her Melissa's
parents and then got like a babysitter. Like it was
just like it was everything was on the line, and
I didn't know anybody that well. And I remember I
started and you know, you have certain jokes that you
know are like gonna get laughs that are just a guarantee,

(32:44):
and like there were these two kind of douchey dudes
in the front row who, like in the beginning of
my first thing, just like stood up and just sort
of like walk slowly like it was a small room.
It just like walked right in front of broke this set,
like started talking to each other. They were like drunk,
and I just it was perfectly fine, like my body

(33:05):
went through the motion of the set. But it never
like the whole night, like everybody it was me and everyone,
it never quite took off. And I remember just thinking
why did I like, why did I invite like you
want to be like no, no no, no, like I'm actually
a good comment like this was like a set you
would have seen like nine years ago like this. This

(33:27):
It was every it was. It was in my mind, like,
oh I should retire from comedy, like this was the world?
Like shaking off a set like that in front of people,
you know what made? What set that you think of
any point in your career made you want to take
fifteen showers afterwards? Um, definitely the worst was like when

(33:50):
I was kind of starting to get a little bit
of attention as a comedian in l A and UM,
I was put in front of and this is how
long ago this was. This was Drew Carey was doing
like Wednesday nights at the improv and this woman that
worked at Fox and Many, who was amazing, she like
decided that I was going to be like this next thing,

(34:12):
so she put me. She was kind of like basically
put me in a showcase in front of Drew Carey
on a packed improv night, invited this entire industry. Well
it was all Drew Carey fanned and I guess I
was supposed to be fifteen minutes, but I only had
ten minutes of material because I literally had just been
doing stand up for like a very small amount of

(34:32):
time and I got up there and did the same
stuff that she loved and told me to do, and
like this is not her fault by any means. I'm
just saying, it's stuff that had worked and worked and worked.
And I got up there and people just could give
a fuck. They could give a fuck they were listening
it was and I didn't, and then I just started panicking.

(34:55):
I got off stage, like right at the ten minutes
again such a key that I didn't even kind of
realize that I wasn't given a light. I just knew
my time while there was another five minutes to go.
Apparently I had a fifteen minute spot instead of a ten.
So the poor m c whoever that was that night,
God bless this person was in the bar thinking he had,
you know, more time, yeah, and came like running in,

(35:18):
running past me, like I just walked up stage like
I just got to And then I went in the
bathroom and I hid until the whole night was over,
and then I left because I didn't want to see anybody.
I mean that to me, that's like it. That's to
me it is. I mean, like stand up. When it's fun,

(35:38):
it's fun, and when it's hard, it is like so hard.
My friend Paul always goes. Mama said, there days like this,
the days like this, my mama said, like just just
I do remember when I first Bobby Lee had me
like do like ten minutes for him at the ice
house when I was first like switching from improv to

(36:01):
stand up, and he's so fucking brilliant, Like he's so brilliant.
He never doesn't kill he's always brilliant. But I remember
he I guess he was like a couple of minutes short,
like I didn't like, you know, he's supposed to forty five,
maybe he did like forty one or whatever, And I
remember he caught in trouble, like I remember him getting
like and that was sort of really good for me

(36:23):
to see, like, oh, not only are you not supposed
to go over just because you're uncomfortable, Like yeah, you
gotta you got that in, you gotta get that Like
that was. And then I remember when I like advanced
like to you know, featuring and then to headlining. Like
there's a big jump between thirty minutes and forty five minutes.

(36:45):
So like I remember like I was like, Okay, I'm
gonna do like some crowd work up top because I
didn't fully know that I could get to forty five,
you know, so you're like, let me get my filler
out early so I don't run out of it at
the end, and then I still have like twelve minutes
to kill you know. Yeah, when you first started headlining,

(37:11):
was there a panic that you wouldn't fill till forty
five minutes? Oh? Totally definitely. I I like, yeah, And
now I'm like, I'm like so grateful that I have
like extra stuff in the tank in case I need
to abandon something or you know, I'm in a city
that's such and such isn't working and okay, let me do.

(37:31):
But yeah, there's definitely I remember when I started, I
was like, what are you talking about? Like forty five minutes?
But now I feel like it really it really flies by,
except from maybe on like a Sunday night, Sunday night
or Friday late shows. How do you deal with a helle?
How do you deal with a heckler? How do you
handle a heckler? I feel like I am pretty good

(37:54):
at at stopping them in their tracks. I don't know
the exact like thing that I say. It's usually kind
of in the moment because you never know right. I
think I used to have a couple like lines in
the tank or whatever to say to someone, but now
I'm and and and even if they would work, sometimes
they just feel so rehearsed that I I it's kind
of like a I don't know, it's just a it's

(38:16):
a judgment situation, because sometimes it's someone that you're like,
I don't feel like I get heckled directly as it's
like drunk. It's just drunk. Yeah, It's like I think
people think that means like someone's yelling like you suck
from the back. It's more like and I think for
probably you two, like, it's more just like a crowd
member that's had too much to drink. You know, they're

(38:37):
not like, We're not really the kind of people that
someone's like looking to heckle. It's more that they're just
like a dumb like not I shouldn't be dune, but
someone who's just been overserved and isn't like realizing their voices,
you know, not as important as everyone else around them.
I would imagine you get this too, because I bet
we have this. I will get like Chelsea lately, people
who calm fans of the show will come, and it's

(39:01):
often um like usually great, like those are my favorite,
like like the best fand and but then sometimes they'll
be it's often I almost get the friendly like we'll
call it a heckler, but the friendly distraction where it's
a gal who's been overserved, who thinks we're friends. And
so if I'll ask, like a hypothetical question that I'm

(39:23):
about to set the she'll answer like like as if
we're having a conversation. She'll be like, yeah, I know,
I know, like or she'll be like no, those gens
are cute or like whatever like or like they're almost
supportive heckler's or like I'll make fun of my hair
or something, she's like, no, your bangs are working, you know.
And it's a thing because it's incredibly supportive. But it

(39:44):
also was like killing the flow of a wo I
had someone due that to me not too long ago,
and the weirdest thing was like, it was a brand
new joke, but he said my punchline, but I definitely
had never said it before, so I guess maybe you
maybe it was a little predictable. But at the same time,
I was kind of like he didn't really say and

(40:05):
he alluded to and I shouldn't say said exactly, but
he like kind of like out loud, was like blah blah,
you know, like I said sort of what I was
about to say, and I was like, what the fund
do you think that does for me? How does that
help me? Now? I'm just like thanks, and I just
got this second dicade. Oh yeah, which maybe I would
deserve if it was like a joke I've been doing

(40:25):
for ten years and and like one of those things
where people like, maybe you're used to being shouted out,
but I was like, no, no, this is like I
just said this for the first time, and you're sort
of like finishing my sentence because it's like whatever, but
it just I was like, this isn't helpful. Like I
understand that you're having a good time, but you just
ruined my fucking you know five minutes on stage Like
that part. What is your writing process? Do you sit

(40:48):
down and write punch lines? Do you actually like write
or do you know? Okay, no, not even close. I
think I don't even know how that would work. And
people that do, like, good for them. I it's such
a different I said no, and it makes me feel
so much better. Because so do you just sort of
like think of a topic and like throw it in
on like budget in the middle. On stage, I'm more

(41:10):
I'm definitely a this is probably probably like this time
is so hard for me right now because I'm definitely
like a right from stage person. Yeah, I'm trying to
find new ways to like I write down idea. I've
always written down like a line or two of ideas
um and then built off of that, But right now
I'm definitely more in like that's all I can do,
and we'll see where I can build from it when

(41:32):
I actually be on stage. But I've definitely that's why
I like having, you know, forty five minutes or an hour.
That's why I actually will be like forty five minutes
sounded long before, and now I'm like well shot up.
Like luckily they don't mind if you do fifty or
fifty five as a miner, because I'm like, I want
to work out this new stuff, you know, So in
the middle, I was sandwiched it in the middle totally. Yeah,

(41:53):
So you can see you grab them and then you
have time to sort of play in the middle, and
if it's like not working, you can abandon it and
then end with everything strong. So I found when I
started touring that a lot of the people that picked
me or wanted to see me were women or gay men,
which was like the best, But then a lot of
the ticket buyers were their boyfriends, like straight straight guys,

(42:17):
like of the ladies or whatever that if they were
straight ladies. And I found two things. One I had
to figure out how to like almost like alter my
materials so that they wouldn't zone out, Like so that
I knew I could make the ladies laugh and I
knew I could make the gay gentleman laugh, but that

(42:37):
it was harder for me with these straight guys, like
so I would sort of have so that they wouldn't
just zone out. And then also picking an outfit for
the stage. Like did you find that you when you
started touring that you had to do anything special because
you like to try did you were you aware of

(42:59):
trying to like appeal to these straight guys, Like I don't.
I don't know that I honestly thought about it enough.
But what I did start noticing after like my first
couple of years of touring and having that like large
female following, especially from like we were on Chelsea lately,
which obviously had a very strong female following and very
good fancy like they love to buy tickets, they would

(43:20):
bring their boyfriends and stuff. And then the next time
I'd go to a city, I really started seeing a
lot of guys coming by themselves and saying, my girlfriend
brought me last year, but we're not together. Yeah, So
I was like it was it was a sort of
validating thing of like, Okay, I'm appealing to everyone, which
is a nice feeling. Outfit wise, I honestly just focus
on what I can wear, or you won't see the

(43:43):
sweat that comes out a sweater. I've never I've I've
known you a long time and I've never thought of
you as a sweater. Oh I am Oh you should
have seen the wardrobe and insatiable issues that I never
never like people have to come up to me with
a hair dryer in between, like take like it's so humiliating. Um,
it's just I guess it's just a name. It's just

(44:04):
however my nerves come out. But so I have to
wear like either black or I have found these really
cute lacy tops that have all the breathing underneath, So
you would ever see so My outfits are very focused
on what will someone not see me pouring sweat through.
I watched your special last night and you were doing
set up in like super high heeled, and I was wowed.

(44:27):
It was so when I like when I would tour
at the beginning with like safe Comedians of Chelsea Lately
or something, I would do like because we weren't doing
as much time either, I would do like heels now first,
now I'm in, you know, it's good luck. If I
even get shoes on. It's like, I don't try to
wear a heel. But I thought for my special, I
should wear heels, and I wish I hadn't because I

(44:50):
feel like when I watched it back that I could
tell that I wasn't quite as comfortable as I know,
you know and um and honestly that's where the name
of My Special came from, which is I can't feel
my let because at the end of the set I
couldn't fille dude. I mean when you got to I
was like, of course, you can't feel her fucking legs
because because there's no way I could have. I mean,
I was impressed. I remember like as a gal, they

(45:13):
always they would always be these tours of like pumps
and punch lines and stand ups and stilettos, and they
would want you we all women, and they would want
you to wear There's one that used to ask us
to wear dress this. Remember, yeah, there's still that that's
like that class you're supposed to wear dress. There's one
of flappers. They're supposed to wear a little black dress.
And I mean that to me, it's like we w

(45:36):
we move around like I want to be able to
I'm in jeans and like whatever comfortable topic can get
and now definitely never heals. But like I said, for
the special, I was like, oh, I just it was
more of like I wanted to look tall and thin,
you know what I mean. Like it was just a
dumb and I definitely feel like I could tell when
I watched it back, I was like, I don't I'm
not moving as comfortably as they normally am. Like I

(45:56):
kind of you look, I always were like a slightly
healed booty because I like a little that's great because
that gives you, yeah, and it's comfortable and you could
be mobile. I know, I said, I always appreciated that
people were like giving me work, but then it was
like I don't want to have to wear a dress.
Can't I just be like on the regular lineup? Like
why do we have to come on like the special

(46:17):
night and be jammed into a dress? Like what is happening?
Why can't we just play on the regular line Yeah,
And by the way, I can't. I mean, and some
obviously some people obviously pull it off very well and
are comfortable in it, So it's really whatever you're comfortable with.
But personally for me running around and dress on stage,
I'd be like, I'd just be worried about seeing everyone
seeing my asshole the whole time, Like, well, I wear

(46:39):
a dress, but I wear like three pairs of tights,
so it's almost like a legging, Like I'm like squished
in like a sardine, Like, yeah, you're not doing what
it was required, though, you're doing what you're comfortable, because
I don't want anybody to see anything. But I don't
wear like it's not like a cute, sexy dress, but
it's it's because I need to be mobile and because

(47:00):
my quirky proportions. I don't want my torso so long
that I would have to wear too high of a
heel to feel good in jeans, and it's right. So
if I had longer legs that I could wear just
like a cute sneaker, I would totally be a jeans
and sneaker gal on stage. But my proportions are so
siting to trick the eye and like wasted a little higher,

(47:20):
so it looks I don't quite look so long. It's
it's so it's totally so personal and what you're comfortable
and and that's why I don't like when someone tries
to tell you, you know, like like we're like, yeah,
to get a little black dress. Yeah, Like I wish
I could dress like I love the jeans and sneakers
look on stage, but I can't do it. I'm definitely
a booty or you know, or like a cute flat

(47:42):
because in jeans and sneakers, I just looked like I
lost my way, Like it just doesn't look you up.
I can look kind of presentable if I have a
little bit of a booty. I know. I look at
like Lauren Lobkus, who's like five eleven tall legs from
a mile, she could put a little cute fucking sneaker
on a little like Nike Whitney Cummings, like she does

(48:04):
the genes and sneaker. Yeah, I mean it's the hyphen
It's like there are certain proportions to trick the eye. Yeah,
Miss Sarah. Is there anything that you wish you could
stay to your younger self? Like if you were there's
a gal coming up through all of this and if
anybody's like putting ship on you and just like what

(48:27):
like what helped stay true to yourself? And that, like
you think helped because I feel like you've protected who
you are and I think you like have thrived. We're
only having women on here that I feel like I
have been thriving and like you are unique to what
your voices and how did you protect that? Yeah, you
know what I would say. Um, that's one thing I'm

(48:49):
proud of. I feel like I used to think I
had to say a certain thing or make a certain
type of joke, and I realized, like, just talk about
what's true to me, what makes me laugh, because that's
what's related when you're when you're being honest, it's relatable.
So for me personally, it's worked out the best to
feel like when I'm just really not putting on a

(49:11):
thing and being myself. Um, the audience seems to appreciate that.
And like I said, everyone's got their own thing. For
me personally, it's worked to be like, just talk about
who you are and be honest about who you are,
and and that works with my personality and audiences. So
I wish I could have told myself that in the beginning.

(49:32):
But also I'm like I learned along the way, so
I'm kind of glad that I figured it out on
my own. So come on, what great words And on, Sarah,
you are joy, you are a friend. I love you too,
and I just and I'm so happy that you're one
of our guests a Lady of the Road podcast, and
and I think everybody will like hearing your story. Thank

(49:53):
you for your time. Stay safe, everybody wear a mask,
have fun. Okay, I weary