December 10, 2020 • 30 mins
Welcome to the Holidays, darling. Day 1 of our 12 episode series explores the fast food kingdom with those golden arches. Las Culturistas agree; "This was a day of cultural history, this gift." The girls discuss why McDonald's is culturally significant, how it relates to their stupid lives, and play Marry, Fuck, Kill with figures within the McDonald's canon. Do YOU think they should give two hash browns instead of one with McDonald's breakfast? Do you have a go-to meal or do you shake it up each time, order-wise? If you don't listen to this episode? Precious one, you're without.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Look man, oh, I see you? Why and look over there?
How is that culture? Yes? Goodness ding dong lost culture?
At least just calling this one's a special one. When
you say a little unexpected, maybe more special. It's um
seasonal as the seasonal. You know. We love to give
(00:24):
gifts to the to the readers. I got what they
were called. Were called. We call you the readers, not
the last culture. That's us, Sorry, that's us. We should
just say some magnetically weird things are happening in the world.
(00:45):
Go off hot executive producer and his power just went
out in her parents house. She's joining a splain phenomenon
her folks home. Matt just got an order of some
food that he did not enjoy. How dare you, oh,
blocketting my name in the village. I'm not doing anything
well Because I came on the zoom with a concern
(01:07):
that now that we've done an rib, I was, okay,
I'm just gonna come out and say it because you
were were you want to cut this out? Just so
I'm not. I'm not because I asked the producers. I said,
we didn't add for the McRib for the McDonald's macrib
and as a result of that, you can't do it, Air, Yes,
I can. It's a well you okay, I have to
(01:30):
say it now. I think the McRib is fine. I
mean it's not It's not what I would and you
love it, which is amazing. It's not that I'm not
going to go to McDonald's ever. Again, it's not a
sort of criticism of McDonald's. I'm just saying that it's
not going to be what I order when I go
there each day. Hold, okay, pause, real fast. I don't
(01:55):
I do think we should cut this out and not
talk about this, because then it steps on like it's
step on the big reveal that the first day of
culture is the McDonald is dig reveal even funnier. Well,
now we've already revealed it. But you said cut this out.
I feel like we should just keep it. I feel
like it gives it away. And then I also don't
want to potentially compromise, but Bow and I just want
(02:17):
to know that you are the one that brought us
here because you said Mac got some food that he
didn't like, and then I felt compelled to once I
get once I've given the assist, I have to give
the spike. You're right, Okay, all right, but let's let's
let's let's just in case for safety, let's just reset, okay,
okay from the top. No no no, no, no no, no no no,
if you want to, I was gonna pick up from
Anna's pick it up. Anna is working in like a
(02:41):
power outage situation, explained phenomenon Hans hot, head of Content Hot. No,
I think we should, I think we should. We have
to go. This is unhanded. We're giving you a special
gift this holiday season, which is transparency, transfer transparency. This
(03:08):
was the most chaotic. Okay, this really is the most
chaotic we've ever been on. This is what I'm can
I just say really, but oh my god, it's so
on in what the fact that we are four years
into this podcast, on year five, if you want to
think of it that way, and we are still we
(03:28):
are still giving you, um, we're still doing ourselves in
the buffoonery. Gotta hand it to us. You thought it
stopped at two moments in culture. Oh no, bitch, We're
gonna record twelve episodes in a row. This is so stupid.
You're literally working the most stressful job and entertainment and
we're like, let's do this. We want to die. I
(03:51):
think it was our idea because we we love the
readers so much truly. Um. We're recording this in the
week that everyone's Spotify wraps came out, and I think
a lot of podcasters are feeling emotional about their their
podcasts being you know what, that is very real and
it's so I will say that it has been such
a constant for me throughout the really this like whole
(04:13):
like of course quarantine, but like this whole like chunk
of time in our lives. Like I've just loved doing
it so much. And to see that so many people
still care so much or are starting to care about
the podcast, that's very cool, and it has been very touching,
and Bone and I have been texting each other saying
we were emotion so thank you for thank you for listening,
(04:34):
thank you for um, you know, inviting us in in
whatever way was personal to you, and you accept us
and seeing and seeing us. You accept us and you
see us and as Diablo Cody said in her Oscar speech,
you let me just the way I am. Remember that
(04:54):
that dress was wonderful. Oh I loved it, And you know,
you want to know some tea what actually I don't
know if I can say this, you probably can't. Well,
we got to cut this out, and yet we're doing
the miss chaotic episode we've ever done. Let's just say this,
I've seen Diablo Cody's Oscar in real life. Oh great,
that's that's cool. It was used in a performance I watched.
(05:16):
Oh my god, I love that, love it and um anyway,
but yes, sorry, we were. So we're recording this in
the week of Spotify rafts um, thank you for listening,
thank you. But what we're doing now is we're releasing
starting on December, We're releasing a new half hour ish
(05:37):
episode every single weekday until Christmas Day on Friday December.
Weekends off, okay, weekends off. You guys have the weekends off.
The weekends off, so do we. But this is required
listening if you're a reader. Required But if you don't
read this, you're not doing the syllabus. Okay, and it's
actually a really culture you must dot of culture number
which one is that? Yes, rule of culture. You must
(06:04):
really listen all of us. So this is twelve days
of culture. We are going to be highlighting one date
in history, yes, in centural history. I'm sorry to our culture,
which is different different. Um, we're doing one day culture.
History started at the Renaissance fourteen ninety two. That's right.
(06:25):
Fourteen ninety two was the start of the resident residents.
So that's when culture started. You understand, you understand, you understand.
The Renaissance was like fourteen ninety two. That's like something
my one of my aunts would have said when I
was little. Yeah, the Renaissance only fourteen ninety two. On
onward from that point, Oh my god. Start with what
(06:48):
I was talking to a friend. I'm a guy who
a friend A guy Okay, yes it was a guy. No, no, no,
I meant to say, a straight guy who wanted to
date with this girl who I'm already laughing was from
Long Island, and so it's a lovely man. He married
(07:09):
her like recently. I guess it was some event. It
was like over the summer. It was like I'm gonna
go home and watch like this thing. Do you want
to come with? And then she just went, uh, yeah,
I guess that's something that could be interested. Oh yeah,
I guess that's something that could or no, she said, yeah,
(07:32):
that that is that don't sound like anything I've ever
done before, Like something like it was like a fucking
hack job Merissa to make character and I but that
person exists. Oh No. The thing about Long Island is
people will just talk more, to say just the word
yes or no, whatever, just to hear themselves do it.
(07:53):
That's very the spirit of that's the spirit of Long Island.
That we what were we talking about doing one day
in cultural history? For every episode in this special segment series,
you should say and what and then what are we doing? Matt?
So basically each of these days of culture culture history
is of course fourto onward. Each of these days gave
(08:16):
birth to a gift that was a gift to us. Okay,
so these are each day twelve days of culture throughout
time culture history. These are the most twelve most important
days of culture because they gave us these gifts. And
today we are giving you the gift of the first
day of culture on the first day cure. It was
(08:41):
what was it, August eighteen, nineteen fifty three, the first
mc donald donald open doors. So at this point you
may or may not know the Matt ordered rib. I
(09:01):
didn't order it. We are doing an ad for the
McRib which everyone should go out and try. Okay, I
tried it because we did the add it's not what
I would order at McDonald's. Okay, Okay, so that's great.
I'm so happy you do. And I think everyone should
go out and try the mcribb. This is me pushing
(09:22):
sales for m and try it yourself. And if you
decide that the number two or not the number two anymore.
It was the number two r I p but to
cheeseburgers in a large cheese adopt it's good for you,
then that's wonderful. That's what I'm deciding. But if you
love the McRib I celebrate. Okay. But this is August thirteenth,
(09:44):
nineteen fifty three, the day the first McDonald's opened its doors.
This was a day of culture history, this gift, a
day of gifts. So I was gonna this was cons
just get um. That's the that's the every every no,
(10:11):
it's talk about why McDonald's is such a dream, talking
about why McDonald's is such a culturally iconic. Picture this, okay,
picture this. You get out of school and it's the
winter and it's like it's the kind of day where
(10:32):
it's like by the time you get out of school,
it's like dark out Okay, you have a fuck ton
of homework to do, like a lot Like that day,
it was just like every teacher just leaned on you
for some reason. No one was communicating, Like all the
teachers gave too much homework, and you had after school,
you had practice or rehearsal for whatever it is you
(10:54):
were doing. So this was like a day. Now you
have to do this homework. And oh so you know
what tonight, mom actually isn't cooking. So where are you
in your big jacket in a thick line, getting ready
to get that fast dinner that's satisfying fast dinner. This
scene I'm painting for you is tied directly to my
(11:19):
and then getting that little warm bag after waiting for someone,
that little warm brown bag full of you know what
stuff that tastes good. It might not be real quote
unquote real meat, and what does that mean anyway? What
does that mean anyway? And the soda might be I guess,
I don't know. People will say flat. I don't really
(11:40):
know what that means, but you know what, it was
gonna go inside your gullet. It's gonna eventually, after a time,
hit that indigestion on and you're going to be digested
and leaning over your work diligently with the energy to
finish your task and go to bed happy and wake
up still snatched. That is why Queen McDonald's reign supreme
(12:07):
of the day of culture first day, that proclamation with
which you delivered that see so pasionately deliver wait like
(12:29):
omar rosa managal neuba omar rosa level. That was good.
Thank you folks. That was a performance. Oh my god,
I might have to release the crack and a k a.
(12:51):
The video Oh I want you to give me sort
of like that was as vivid a McDonald's experience. And
forget about when you get it for breakfast. Okay, when
you get it for breakfast, that's it. Bacon, bacon, egg
and cheese on a on a muffin and on on
a biscuit. Forget it. It is a treat and a half.
(13:11):
You know, I get two halshbrownds no matter what, because
you know what one won't do, one will never do,
one will never do. And they should actually start giving to.
They should just give to Okay, I said, okay, challenge
to them, you know, because you McDonald's knows. At this point,
(13:32):
I'm not giving it up easy, Okay, I'll do the ad. Sure,
But once I turn around and you see the real me,
the Dr Jackal, I'm gonna say what I think about
Doctor Jackal. Dr Jackal was the the other girl run
the no no no. Dr Jackyll was the good one. Wait,
(13:55):
Mr Hyde, I'm sorry, but can I say something. Dr
Jekyl sound is like the evil guy. Sorry to the writer,
that's just like you, being culturally programmed to think that
scientists are evil, which is very anti intellectual of you.
That must be what that is. Sorry, sorry, I hate
(14:15):
being in it scien intellectual. I know you do. Tell
me what was your prompt to me? Uh? Well, my
prompt to you is I want you to specifically draw
out for us what your life's sense memory with McDonald's
is um. For me, it was moving from very cold, frigid,
(14:39):
dry climb of Contreal, Quebec, and then moving to the
other cold frigid, dry climb, more frigid Aurora, Colorado, and
thinking and yet still thinking, Wow, this is a shock
to me, a shock to me culturally even, And I
thought nothing on me looks familiar. I don't recognize these streets,
(15:04):
these people, these faces show me something familiar for a change.
Why don't you lest I try and walk out this
door of this country right now, across the dawn border
myself by foot as a nine year old. Yes, go off.
We're looking at houses with my parents who have done
a lot of work, talking to a broker, work, exhausting work.
(15:31):
They don't want to make lunch. No, not so where
did they go? We pull up to the McDonald's on
a Rapahoe Road, next to the Dickies Barbecue, across from
the Kia dealership, of course, and we see and we
(15:52):
see those golden arches. They're a gateway. They're a gateway
in the literal sense, in the sort of color story
of it, all organic, warm, inviting colors, yellow and red. Baby,
and you go, honey, I'm home. Yes, let's press on
(16:13):
towards those arches, for we know the spoils that that
trove holds, prayers And what did I order? Filet a
fish for the mom? For my mom. I should say, oh,
that took me back, that took me out, girl, that
there's a special kind of person that if you fuck,
(16:35):
if you funk with the tartar sauce and McDonald's, you're
a good person. You're you're a good person. Congratulations. Congratulations.
My dad would order just whatever chaotic thing he was
in the mood for that day. Sometimes it would be
a salad shaker, remember those. Sometimes he would order a
different thing, like he was someone who was open to
(16:57):
different things. Well, my dad's only like, my dad was
only very McDonald's like ten times his entire life. So
of those ten times, I don't really remember consistent order,
like like a thematic order being. My sister would always
get a big Mac. That's I'll never understand. I used
to be a big Mac person and then a college
(17:18):
switched the cho cheeseburgers. You got the that's the way.
And I also shock everyone in the house by saying
another option, the double cheeseburger. Sometimes two of them, you
did not. I just really went there. I said that
(17:39):
if you want a big Mac volume and you find
yourself gravitating more towards the two cheeseburger situation, like me
and my very close sister Bowen, then perhaps what you're
saying really is you're ready to compromise America. Mm hmmm.
(18:01):
Don't do that. So the centrist, when it comes to McDonald's,
it might be time to sort of moving to double
cheeseburger territory. Now the chicken of it all. Talk to
me McDonald's chicken. No, I want you to tell me
because I feel like, you know there's much I'm gonna
meat burger person, and I feel like you might be
(18:23):
airing more towards some chicken. Sometimes. I always love some chicken.
And look when it comes to McDonald's chicken, didn't we
all love it before? And then Food Inc Comes out
and everyone's like it's made of pink slime. Guess what?
Guess what happened? Fucking nothing, because we all love that
(18:44):
pink slim and as long as you know that it's
pink slime, it don't change the fact that we still
love to eat it. Guess what, bitch, If you have
a problem back then with the pink slime and now
you find yourself sort of bling on nuggets. You actually
(19:04):
didn't learn anything from those films that were made about McDonald's,
Like what's the one with the guy who ate all
the supercise super Sionny. You didn't learn anything from that.
You didn't learn anything from Food Inc. You didn't learn
anything from anything. Natalie Portman has literally ever said stop
(19:27):
so get off your high horse forever. Queen. Queen. Here's
the thing. If you did not learn anything from the
movie Food Inc. And then you might as well not
even watch a single documentary again, because your retention skills
seem to be very non existent. Darling dear, you don't
(19:49):
have precious one, precious one, precious one, precious when you're without,
precious one without, Oh that's that's that's stupidest precious one
pressures one you're without. I mean, if readers feel free
(20:09):
to use that next time you need to clap back,
next time you needed to shut a young girl down,
Just a precious one you're without. I'm literally going to
sell it to the next person that pisses me off,
and it's probably gonna be Mitch McConnell. Girl, Mitch, Mitch,
(20:30):
precious one you're without, and he's gonna he's gonna not
know what to say. He's just gonna stand there like
a puddle and and be a puddle. Can I ask
a question that will I think cause a lot of
(20:52):
maybe controversy amongst the readers. What do you feel about
the access to and usage of McDonald's play sets throughout childhood?
Do you think they were something that's spread disease like
absolute wildfire. Or do you think that this was a
(21:15):
moment in time that you miss and you used the playsets.
It was a moment in time when I would the
the attraction and the draws they say would be make
play place. Wow, So you would maybe even want to
go to one McDonald's over another over there play place
(21:35):
because one nick play place would have better architecture. You know.
Now I have a controversial question, gone Mary fuck kill
mhm Ronald McDonald. Oh gosh, it's already hard, Grimace, it's
already hard just to one because I don't know whether
(21:56):
I want to fuck him or Marriam. Because Ronald McDonald's
make makes me crazy. He makes me sexually crazy. I
do crazy things when I think about him. But keep going,
but hold on, it's Ronald McDonald. Grimace. Fuck, this is
so hard, This is tough for me, Grimace. Oh my god,
(22:17):
he's so fucking hot. He's so hot. He's brutal. Let
me keep going, keep going, let me keep going. Finally, finally, okay, Hamburgler.
Oh I'm on fire. I'm on fucking fire in my chair.
It's crazy, bitch. Oh my god, I've never felt like this.
(22:40):
I can't believe I have to kill one of them
when all I want to do is fucking tear every
one of them apart, with every part of me so
so fucking hard to do this. I'm gonna marry Ronald
McDonald because he's got the money and at the end
of the day, that's what makes the world around. I'm
(23:01):
gonna fuck the Hamburgler because I know he's been some
sticky situations, and Mama, the the scenario that I want
us to play out can only be described as cops
and robberts. It can only be described as, Mama, I'm
in love with Grata that unfortunately, I have to kill
(23:24):
Grimace because it's just negative energy, which I do like
sometimes in a in a vivid sexual way, but not tonight.
You like negative energy in a vivid sexual way? What
does that mean? At times? It has been? It has
been at times. Okay, Well, thank you for you've you've
(23:47):
you've done it. You've answered my question, you've answered the
prompt um. So as we move forward into today, what
do you think? What do you think of the way
McDonald stands in the world. The critics s is ums
sort of you know, attack the the attack by health
(24:07):
groups on McDonald O god, oh my god, oh my
U is still standing answered, what do you think of
(24:29):
McDonald's current standing in the world and the attacks by
health groups on McDonald's. Should they chill? Should they relax? Look? Look,
McDonald's is listening McDonald McDonald says they've tried to solve
these problems. They've tried salads, they've tried. Are they healthy
(24:51):
or not? Asked answer that question, They're healthy if you
want to, if you want to get healthy out of it.
That's it's as simple as that. Mcdonal is just giving
you choices. And at the end of the day, and
this is very neoliberal, maybe, but you gotta choose, honey.
And if you and if you don't pull yourself and
if you don't pull yourself up by the bootstraps mm hmm,
(25:15):
then if you don't do that, then then you deserve
to be unhealthy. And you really do, you really do?
So you really do anyway? Um? So um okay, yeah,
one more thing, Mary kill, Oh my god. The mc
(25:36):
flurry regular strawberry shake. You order a small drink and
put every soda in it. You you you press every soda
and run the soft drink included Oh my god, wow'll
(26:01):
see this is the thing I didn't I didn't even
know people did that last one. Bet you know, my
stupid gay little ass was combining every soda and making
creations and drinking that one. Think about how good it
probably is. And Mary, I think I marry then Nick
(26:25):
Fleury because I don't think I've ever I don't think
they've ever let me down. They've never disappointed, never ever
ever deviated um strewn from the path. The steady beating
coculum of the three has a beating mm hmm. Fuck
(26:52):
strawberry milkshake. Oh yes, get the berry, Get the berry.
Why don't And you know it's a nice little hair
do I like. I like how it just sort of
swirls and and it pinches off at the top. You'll
never run out of That song was written about the
(27:15):
strawberry milkshake, and then Taylor and then obviously I would
have to know you didn't try so to you son
to potion just just fucking rude as shit. You're gonna
(27:38):
you were going to call me a name, you were
going to call you name. It sounded like rude as ship.
It sounds like you're gonna call me a faggot. No,
I was never gonna say faggot. I only save that
for my sister. My god, I've never seen you like this.
This is a reader and my twelve plus yours friendship
(28:02):
with Matt Rodgers have not seen him like this. No, no,
what do you have to say for yourself? What I
have to say is that I think that McDonald's being
a part of the culture was absolutely a really important day.
And the day that McDonald's opened its doors was for
sure the first day of culture. So we have eleven
more of these and wow, I don't know, we'll see
(28:26):
where they go. But McDonald's August eight, the first McDonald's
opens its doors, a huge moment. With that boris many gifts. Yes,
thank you for the gifts of the select strips. Thank
you for the gifts of the sausage, egg and cheese
on the McMuffin. Thank you for the gifts of hash Brown's.
(28:48):
Thank you for the gifts of just that small McCafe.
Thank you for the gifts of honestly, you know, throughout
the world different different delicacies. You know, you get your
maca ron France, or you get your terrap pies in Asia,
I mean, the McDonald's adapts so well to different locations.
McDonald's in America's not like McDonald's in other countries. You know,
(29:11):
you know that, No, I do know that, because I've
I have distinctly been to Montreal and been in a
McDonald's between McDonald's something else, and they were, you know,
they were selling some sort of um chicken parmesan sandwich.
And so it shall be, So it shall be, and
(29:35):
so it shall be so named. And we just want
to say thank you to McDonald's and the gifts and
being the first day of culture by singing I thank
you song. And this is also how we will end
every episode. And you h s see you tomorrow. Bye.
(30:08):
They can't see you. Wave grooth wow
Look man, oh, I see you? Why and look over there?
How is that culture? Yes? Goodness ding dong lost culture?
At least just calling this one's a special one. When
you say a little unexpected, maybe more special. It's um
seasonal as the seasonal. You know. We love to give
(00:24):
gifts to the to the readers. I got what they
were called. Were called. We call you the readers, not
the last culture. That's us, Sorry, that's us. We should
just say some magnetically weird things are happening in the world.
(00:45):
Go off hot executive producer and his power just went
out in her parents house. She's joining a splain phenomenon
her folks home. Matt just got an order of some
food that he did not enjoy. How dare you, oh,
blocketting my name in the village. I'm not doing anything
well Because I came on the zoom with a concern
(01:07):
that now that we've done an rib, I was, okay,
I'm just gonna come out and say it because you
were were you want to cut this out? Just so
I'm not. I'm not because I asked the producers. I said,
we didn't add for the McRib for the McDonald's macrib
and as a result of that, you can't do it, Air, Yes,
I can. It's a well you okay, I have to
(01:30):
say it now. I think the McRib is fine. I
mean it's not It's not what I would and you
love it, which is amazing. It's not that I'm not
going to go to McDonald's ever. Again, it's not a
sort of criticism of McDonald's. I'm just saying that it's
not going to be what I order when I go
there each day. Hold, okay, pause, real fast. I don't
(01:55):
I do think we should cut this out and not
talk about this, because then it steps on like it's
step on the big reveal that the first day of
culture is the McDonald is dig reveal even funnier. Well,
now we've already revealed it. But you said cut this out.
I feel like we should just keep it. I feel
like it gives it away. And then I also don't
want to potentially compromise, but Bow and I just want
(02:17):
to know that you are the one that brought us
here because you said Mac got some food that he
didn't like, and then I felt compelled to once I
get once I've given the assist, I have to give
the spike. You're right, Okay, all right, but let's let's
let's let's just in case for safety, let's just reset, okay,
okay from the top. No no no, no, no no, no no no,
if you want to, I was gonna pick up from
Anna's pick it up. Anna is working in like a
(02:41):
power outage situation, explained phenomenon Hans hot, head of Content Hot. No,
I think we should, I think we should. We have
to go. This is unhanded. We're giving you a special
gift this holiday season, which is transparency, transfer transparency. This
(03:08):
was the most chaotic. Okay, this really is the most
chaotic we've ever been on. This is what I'm can
I just say really, but oh my god, it's so
on in what the fact that we are four years
into this podcast, on year five, if you want to
think of it that way, and we are still we
(03:28):
are still giving you, um, we're still doing ourselves in
the buffoonery. Gotta hand it to us. You thought it
stopped at two moments in culture. Oh no, bitch, We're
gonna record twelve episodes in a row. This is so stupid.
You're literally working the most stressful job and entertainment and
we're like, let's do this. We want to die. I
(03:51):
think it was our idea because we we love the
readers so much truly. Um. We're recording this in the
week that everyone's Spotify wraps came out, and I think
a lot of podcasters are feeling emotional about their their
podcasts being you know what, that is very real and
it's so I will say that it has been such
a constant for me throughout the really this like whole
(04:13):
like of course quarantine, but like this whole like chunk
of time in our lives. Like I've just loved doing
it so much. And to see that so many people
still care so much or are starting to care about
the podcast, that's very cool, and it has been very touching,
and Bone and I have been texting each other saying
we were emotion so thank you for thank you for listening,
(04:34):
thank you for um, you know, inviting us in in
whatever way was personal to you, and you accept us
and seeing and seeing us. You accept us and you
see us and as Diablo Cody said in her Oscar speech,
you let me just the way I am. Remember that
(04:54):
that dress was wonderful. Oh I loved it, And you know,
you want to know some tea what actually I don't
know if I can say this, you probably can't. Well,
we got to cut this out, and yet we're doing
the miss chaotic episode we've ever done. Let's just say this,
I've seen Diablo Cody's Oscar in real life. Oh great,
that's that's cool. It was used in a performance I watched.
(05:16):
Oh my god, I love that, love it and um anyway,
but yes, sorry, we were. So we're recording this in
the week of Spotify rafts um, thank you for listening,
thank you. But what we're doing now is we're releasing
starting on December, We're releasing a new half hour ish
(05:37):
episode every single weekday until Christmas Day on Friday December.
Weekends off, okay, weekends off. You guys have the weekends off.
The weekends off, so do we. But this is required
listening if you're a reader. Required But if you don't
read this, you're not doing the syllabus. Okay, and it's
actually a really culture you must dot of culture number
which one is that? Yes, rule of culture. You must
(06:04):
really listen all of us. So this is twelve days
of culture. We are going to be highlighting one date
in history, yes, in centural history. I'm sorry to our culture,
which is different different. Um, we're doing one day culture.
History started at the Renaissance fourteen ninety two. That's right.
(06:25):
Fourteen ninety two was the start of the resident residents.
So that's when culture started. You understand, you understand, you understand.
The Renaissance was like fourteen ninety two. That's like something
my one of my aunts would have said when I
was little. Yeah, the Renaissance only fourteen ninety two. On
onward from that point, Oh my god. Start with what
(06:48):
I was talking to a friend. I'm a guy who
a friend A guy Okay, yes it was a guy. No, no, no,
I meant to say, a straight guy who wanted to
date with this girl who I'm already laughing was from
Long Island, and so it's a lovely man. He married
(07:09):
her like recently. I guess it was some event. It
was like over the summer. It was like I'm gonna
go home and watch like this thing. Do you want
to come with? And then she just went, uh, yeah,
I guess that's something that could be interested. Oh yeah,
I guess that's something that could or no, she said, yeah,
(07:32):
that that is that don't sound like anything I've ever
done before, Like something like it was like a fucking
hack job Merissa to make character and I but that
person exists. Oh No. The thing about Long Island is
people will just talk more, to say just the word
yes or no, whatever, just to hear themselves do it.
(07:53):
That's very the spirit of that's the spirit of Long Island.
That we what were we talking about doing one day
in cultural history? For every episode in this special segment series,
you should say and what and then what are we doing? Matt?
So basically each of these days of culture culture history
is of course fourto onward. Each of these days gave
(08:16):
birth to a gift that was a gift to us. Okay,
so these are each day twelve days of culture throughout
time culture history. These are the most twelve most important
days of culture because they gave us these gifts. And
today we are giving you the gift of the first
day of culture on the first day cure. It was
(08:41):
what was it, August eighteen, nineteen fifty three, the first
mc donald donald open doors. So at this point you
may or may not know the Matt ordered rib. I
(09:01):
didn't order it. We are doing an ad for the
McRib which everyone should go out and try. Okay, I
tried it because we did the add it's not what
I would order at McDonald's. Okay, Okay, so that's great.
I'm so happy you do. And I think everyone should
go out and try the mcribb. This is me pushing
(09:22):
sales for m and try it yourself. And if you
decide that the number two or not the number two anymore.
It was the number two r I p but to
cheeseburgers in a large cheese adopt it's good for you,
then that's wonderful. That's what I'm deciding. But if you
love the McRib I celebrate. Okay. But this is August thirteenth,
(09:44):
nineteen fifty three, the day the first McDonald's opened its doors.
This was a day of culture history, this gift, a
day of gifts. So I was gonna this was cons
just get um. That's the that's the every every no,
(10:11):
it's talk about why McDonald's is such a dream, talking
about why McDonald's is such a culturally iconic. Picture this, okay,
picture this. You get out of school and it's the
winter and it's like it's the kind of day where
(10:32):
it's like by the time you get out of school,
it's like dark out Okay, you have a fuck ton
of homework to do, like a lot Like that day,
it was just like every teacher just leaned on you
for some reason. No one was communicating, Like all the
teachers gave too much homework, and you had after school,
you had practice or rehearsal for whatever it is you
(10:54):
were doing. So this was like a day. Now you
have to do this homework. And oh so you know
what tonight, mom actually isn't cooking. So where are you
in your big jacket in a thick line, getting ready
to get that fast dinner that's satisfying fast dinner. This
scene I'm painting for you is tied directly to my
(11:19):
and then getting that little warm bag after waiting for someone,
that little warm brown bag full of you know what
stuff that tastes good. It might not be real quote
unquote real meat, and what does that mean anyway? What
does that mean anyway? And the soda might be I guess,
I don't know. People will say flat. I don't really
(11:40):
know what that means, but you know what, it was
gonna go inside your gullet. It's gonna eventually, after a time,
hit that indigestion on and you're going to be digested
and leaning over your work diligently with the energy to
finish your task and go to bed happy and wake
up still snatched. That is why Queen McDonald's reign supreme
(12:07):
of the day of culture first day, that proclamation with
which you delivered that see so pasionately deliver wait like
(12:29):
omar rosa managal neuba omar rosa level. That was good.
Thank you folks. That was a performance. Oh my god,
I might have to release the crack and a k a.
(12:51):
The video Oh I want you to give me sort
of like that was as vivid a McDonald's experience. And
forget about when you get it for breakfast. Okay, when
you get it for breakfast, that's it. Bacon, bacon, egg
and cheese on a on a muffin and on on
a biscuit. Forget it. It is a treat and a half.
(13:11):
You know, I get two halshbrownds no matter what, because
you know what one won't do, one will never do,
one will never do. And they should actually start giving to.
They should just give to Okay, I said, okay, challenge
to them, you know, because you McDonald's knows. At this point,
(13:32):
I'm not giving it up easy, Okay, I'll do the ad. Sure,
But once I turn around and you see the real me,
the Dr Jackal, I'm gonna say what I think about
Doctor Jackal. Dr Jackal was the the other girl run
the no no no. Dr Jackyll was the good one. Wait,
(13:55):
Mr Hyde, I'm sorry, but can I say something. Dr
Jekyl sound is like the evil guy. Sorry to the writer,
that's just like you, being culturally programmed to think that
scientists are evil, which is very anti intellectual of you.
That must be what that is. Sorry, sorry, I hate
(14:15):
being in it scien intellectual. I know you do. Tell
me what was your prompt to me? Uh? Well, my
prompt to you is I want you to specifically draw
out for us what your life's sense memory with McDonald's
is um. For me, it was moving from very cold, frigid,
(14:39):
dry climb of Contreal, Quebec, and then moving to the
other cold frigid, dry climb, more frigid Aurora, Colorado, and
thinking and yet still thinking, Wow, this is a shock
to me, a shock to me culturally even, And I
thought nothing on me looks familiar. I don't recognize these streets,
(15:04):
these people, these faces show me something familiar for a change.
Why don't you lest I try and walk out this
door of this country right now, across the dawn border
myself by foot as a nine year old. Yes, go off.
We're looking at houses with my parents who have done
a lot of work, talking to a broker, work, exhausting work.
(15:31):
They don't want to make lunch. No, not so where
did they go? We pull up to the McDonald's on
a Rapahoe Road, next to the Dickies Barbecue, across from
the Kia dealership, of course, and we see and we
(15:52):
see those golden arches. They're a gateway. They're a gateway
in the literal sense, in the sort of color story
of it, all organic, warm, inviting colors, yellow and red. Baby,
and you go, honey, I'm home. Yes, let's press on
(16:13):
towards those arches, for we know the spoils that that
trove holds, prayers And what did I order? Filet a
fish for the mom? For my mom. I should say, oh,
that took me back, that took me out, girl, that
there's a special kind of person that if you fuck,
(16:35):
if you funk with the tartar sauce and McDonald's, you're
a good person. You're you're a good person. Congratulations. Congratulations.
My dad would order just whatever chaotic thing he was
in the mood for that day. Sometimes it would be
a salad shaker, remember those. Sometimes he would order a
different thing, like he was someone who was open to
(16:57):
different things. Well, my dad's only like, my dad was
only very McDonald's like ten times his entire life. So
of those ten times, I don't really remember consistent order,
like like a thematic order being. My sister would always
get a big Mac. That's I'll never understand. I used
to be a big Mac person and then a college
(17:18):
switched the cho cheeseburgers. You got the that's the way.
And I also shock everyone in the house by saying
another option, the double cheeseburger. Sometimes two of them, you
did not. I just really went there. I said that
(17:39):
if you want a big Mac volume and you find
yourself gravitating more towards the two cheeseburger situation, like me
and my very close sister Bowen, then perhaps what you're
saying really is you're ready to compromise America. Mm hmmm.
(18:01):
Don't do that. So the centrist, when it comes to McDonald's,
it might be time to sort of moving to double
cheeseburger territory. Now the chicken of it all. Talk to
me McDonald's chicken. No, I want you to tell me
because I feel like, you know there's much I'm gonna
meat burger person, and I feel like you might be
(18:23):
airing more towards some chicken. Sometimes. I always love some chicken.
And look when it comes to McDonald's chicken, didn't we
all love it before? And then Food Inc Comes out
and everyone's like it's made of pink slime. Guess what?
Guess what happened? Fucking nothing, because we all love that
(18:44):
pink slim and as long as you know that it's
pink slime, it don't change the fact that we still
love to eat it. Guess what, bitch, If you have
a problem back then with the pink slime and now
you find yourself sort of bling on nuggets. You actually
(19:04):
didn't learn anything from those films that were made about McDonald's,
Like what's the one with the guy who ate all
the supercise super Sionny. You didn't learn anything from that.
You didn't learn anything from Food Inc. You didn't learn
anything from anything. Natalie Portman has literally ever said stop
(19:27):
so get off your high horse forever. Queen. Queen. Here's
the thing. If you did not learn anything from the
movie Food Inc. And then you might as well not
even watch a single documentary again, because your retention skills
seem to be very non existent. Darling dear, you don't
(19:49):
have precious one, precious one, precious one, precious when you're without,
precious one without, Oh that's that's that's stupidest precious one
pressures one you're without. I mean, if readers feel free
(20:09):
to use that next time you need to clap back,
next time you needed to shut a young girl down,
Just a precious one you're without. I'm literally going to
sell it to the next person that pisses me off,
and it's probably gonna be Mitch McConnell. Girl, Mitch, Mitch,
(20:30):
precious one you're without, and he's gonna he's gonna not
know what to say. He's just gonna stand there like
a puddle and and be a puddle. Can I ask
a question that will I think cause a lot of
(20:52):
maybe controversy amongst the readers. What do you feel about
the access to and usage of McDonald's play sets throughout childhood?
Do you think they were something that's spread disease like
absolute wildfire. Or do you think that this was a
(21:15):
moment in time that you miss and you used the playsets.
It was a moment in time when I would the
the attraction and the draws they say would be make
play place. Wow, So you would maybe even want to
go to one McDonald's over another over there play place
(21:35):
because one nick play place would have better architecture. You know.
Now I have a controversial question, gone Mary fuck kill
mhm Ronald McDonald. Oh gosh, it's already hard, Grimace, it's
already hard just to one because I don't know whether
(21:56):
I want to fuck him or Marriam. Because Ronald McDonald's
make makes me crazy. He makes me sexually crazy. I
do crazy things when I think about him. But keep going,
but hold on, it's Ronald McDonald. Grimace. Fuck, this is
so hard, This is tough for me, Grimace. Oh my god,
(22:17):
he's so fucking hot. He's so hot. He's brutal. Let
me keep going, keep going, let me keep going. Finally, finally, okay, Hamburgler.
Oh I'm on fire. I'm on fucking fire in my chair.
It's crazy, bitch. Oh my god, I've never felt like this.
(22:40):
I can't believe I have to kill one of them
when all I want to do is fucking tear every
one of them apart, with every part of me so
so fucking hard to do this. I'm gonna marry Ronald
McDonald because he's got the money and at the end
of the day, that's what makes the world around. I'm
(23:01):
gonna fuck the Hamburgler because I know he's been some
sticky situations, and Mama, the the scenario that I want
us to play out can only be described as cops
and robberts. It can only be described as, Mama, I'm
in love with Grata that unfortunately, I have to kill
(23:24):
Grimace because it's just negative energy, which I do like
sometimes in a in a vivid sexual way, but not tonight.
You like negative energy in a vivid sexual way? What
does that mean? At times? It has been? It has
been at times. Okay, Well, thank you for you've you've
(23:47):
you've done it. You've answered my question, you've answered the
prompt um. So as we move forward into today, what
do you think? What do you think of the way
McDonald stands in the world. The critics s is ums
sort of you know, attack the the attack by health
(24:07):
groups on McDonald O god, oh my god, oh my
U is still standing answered, what do you think of
(24:29):
McDonald's current standing in the world and the attacks by
health groups on McDonald's. Should they chill? Should they relax? Look? Look,
McDonald's is listening McDonald McDonald says they've tried to solve
these problems. They've tried salads, they've tried. Are they healthy
(24:51):
or not? Asked answer that question, They're healthy if you
want to, if you want to get healthy out of it.
That's it's as simple as that. Mcdonal is just giving
you choices. And at the end of the day, and
this is very neoliberal, maybe, but you gotta choose, honey.
And if you and if you don't pull yourself and
if you don't pull yourself up by the bootstraps mm hmm,
(25:15):
then if you don't do that, then then you deserve
to be unhealthy. And you really do, you really do?
So you really do anyway? Um? So um okay, yeah,
one more thing, Mary kill, Oh my god. The mc
(25:36):
flurry regular strawberry shake. You order a small drink and
put every soda in it. You you you press every soda
and run the soft drink included Oh my god, wow'll
(26:01):
see this is the thing I didn't I didn't even
know people did that last one. Bet you know, my
stupid gay little ass was combining every soda and making
creations and drinking that one. Think about how good it
probably is. And Mary, I think I marry then Nick
(26:25):
Fleury because I don't think I've ever I don't think
they've ever let me down. They've never disappointed, never ever
ever deviated um strewn from the path. The steady beating
coculum of the three has a beating mm hmm. Fuck
(26:52):
strawberry milkshake. Oh yes, get the berry, Get the berry.
Why don't And you know it's a nice little hair
do I like. I like how it just sort of
swirls and and it pinches off at the top. You'll
never run out of That song was written about the
(27:15):
strawberry milkshake, and then Taylor and then obviously I would
have to know you didn't try so to you son
to potion just just fucking rude as shit. You're gonna
(27:38):
you were going to call me a name, you were
going to call you name. It sounded like rude as ship.
It sounds like you're gonna call me a faggot. No,
I was never gonna say faggot. I only save that
for my sister. My god, I've never seen you like this.
This is a reader and my twelve plus yours friendship
(28:02):
with Matt Rodgers have not seen him like this. No, no,
what do you have to say for yourself? What I
have to say is that I think that McDonald's being
a part of the culture was absolutely a really important day.
And the day that McDonald's opened its doors was for
sure the first day of culture. So we have eleven
more of these and wow, I don't know, we'll see
(28:26):
where they go. But McDonald's August eight, the first McDonald's
opens its doors, a huge moment. With that boris many gifts. Yes,
thank you for the gifts of the select strips. Thank
you for the gifts of the sausage, egg and cheese
on the McMuffin. Thank you for the gifts of hash Brown's.
(28:48):
Thank you for the gifts of just that small McCafe.
Thank you for the gifts of honestly, you know, throughout
the world different different delicacies. You know, you get your
maca ron France, or you get your terrap pies in Asia,
I mean, the McDonald's adapts so well to different locations.
McDonald's in America's not like McDonald's in other countries. You know,
(29:11):
you know that, No, I do know that, because I've
I have distinctly been to Montreal and been in a
McDonald's between McDonald's something else, and they were, you know,
they were selling some sort of um chicken parmesan sandwich.
And so it shall be, So it shall be, and
(29:35):
so it shall be so named. And we just want
to say thank you to McDonald's and the gifts and
being the first day of culture by singing I thank
you song. And this is also how we will end
every episode. And you h s see you tomorrow. Bye.
(30:08):
They can't see you. Wave grooth wow
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Bowen Yang
Matt Rogers
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