“Why Are We Single?” (w/ Marie Faustin & Dave Mizzoni)

It’s the DATING EPISODE of Las Cultch with some good old-fashioned LC fan favs. Marie Faustin and Dave Mizzoni, the host and producer of the terrific new live show “Why Are You Single? Starring Marie Faustin” are here to talk red flags, bad dates, good sex, when to approach and when to walk away. All this, Keke Palmer, Threads, Insta Prison, compliments during sex, kinks, and brutal honesty with family members. Also, a performance of Usher’s “Burn”. Go see Why Are You Single? and check out Marie on instagram @reeezy to participate.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Look Mayer, oh, I see you my own bow and
look over there is that culture. Yes, goodness wow, Lost
Cultu ding Dong, Lost Culturista's calling lave Culturista. Still Bowen
is still on break. But that's okay for today because
I've actually got two people in the studio, two heads,
to not only do an episode of Lost Coach, but

(00:23):
to also answer the question why are you single? I
think that question is going to be pointed at me,
and maybe we'll even point it back at them, because
that's what we do here at Lost Coach. We sort
of, of course we have conversations, but we point it back
at you. The readers were going to point it back
at the guests, and by point it back, I mean
the question not anything you could point at someone. One
of my guess is opening their mouth wide sort of

(00:45):
making a very crass allusion to maybe me pointing my
panisse over towards him. I had an ex boyfriend who
called Penis's Penisse, and I didn't like it together. I
feel like we are we are not currently together. I'm single,
and like I said, we're gonna get to the bottom
of that. I saw the show that my guests today

(01:06):
are producing and hosting, respectively the other day at the
Illsion here in LA and I had a time. It's
a wild show. It's what they call what are those
shows to watch? They're gonna be hitting it hard actually
tonight at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn. If you are around,
I do believe the show will be sold the fuck out.

(01:27):
But you know wick but check, and by check, I mean,
of course, get on the website. But also you know what,
if you're in the downtown area of Brooklyn, if you're
in the Greater Gowanis area, roll through. If you're in
the Greater Gwanas and that's actually a real culture. If
you're in the Greater Gowanas area, roll through the Bellhouse.
You never know what's happening there. You never know what
amazing comedians, both established and upcoming are gonna be there,

(01:50):
sort of rolling the dice, seeing hey does this work?
What I'll tell you what works? Is this show? Why
are you single? Like I said, I had the best time,
and I have two guests, both return to the show.
Many things have changed in both their lives since they
last were on the show. I mean, we'll get into it,
but what hasn't changed is the charisma uniqueness, nerve, and

(02:11):
talent that both of them possessed. They both possess Kant
and I'm very excited to welcome back to Lost culturistas
Dave Mazzoni and Marie Faust than everybody wow an introduction.
Let me tell you something. They said, he's not gonna
be able to do introt by himself. I said, watch me, bitch,

(02:31):
I said, watch me try to land the plane every
time I start speaking into the Hudson. Yeah you did
you rehearse that?

Speaker 2 (02:36):
No, you just had off the dome.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
That's sort of what makes me a dynamic podcast host.
That's which is my new line. I'm never really sure
when I start a sentence if the plane's gonna land.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
As a passenger, we were buckled in and Marie and
I were saying our final words to one another. But
it's so nice to have landed in the Hudson. Where
are the life rafting? Well, we're jumping into the waters
of Lost culture now, you guys. The show is oh fun.
We had a blast. I've never done a show at
Allegian before. Actually you either, Marie.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
Right, uh No.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
When I got there, I was like, oh I have.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm still that person in LA just
because I performed so much less here live that I'm
not exactly sure what everything is called like, and I
also don't know what still exists after.

Speaker 4 (03:16):
Right, I don't know the name of places. Yeah, I'm
like that with people too.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (03:20):
I don't remember your face. I'm definitely not gonna remember
your name. I have a very bad memory. Blame it
on the quee.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
I think I do as well, Matt, You're pretty good
at that.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
I'm okay, but I will say that, like, there are
times now where, especially like in the age of Instagram,
where you want to look someone up, like someone that
you talk to or DM do at a certain point,
or like maybe someone that you met, and you're like, oh,
that guy was really cute. What's oh my god, I
don't know their name right, Like that's a new phenomenon.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
You're like, I think it's just with a C.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
It's for sure, like something in the area of Chris.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
And You're never right.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
You're never right.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
My thing is I've I've introduced myself to people like
six times over and they're like, we've met before, we've met.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Well, this is a this is a big controversy It's
that thing of like if you have met the person,
are you that person that says we've met? Or do
you just let it roll off your back?

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (04:05):
Everybody knows that I'm not going to remember them unless
you did something memorable like did you ship your pants
in front of me?

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Are you really really fine?

Speaker 4 (04:14):
Like?

Speaker 3 (04:14):
Did you defication sticks?

Speaker 2 (04:16):
Did you pay for the table? Like I don't. I'm
probably not gonna.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Remember defecation or did you pay for the table?

Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Did you shit in front of me? Or did you
cover the check?

Speaker 3 (04:26):
Forever?

Speaker 1 (04:27):
I will straight up remember like people's names from my
third grade class. It's like I miss my little third
grade mind that soaked it all up, that could remember things.
I remember, even some stuff from like school in third grade.
I don't remember things that happened last And I blame
it on the weed as well.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
What were we learning in third grade?

Speaker 1 (04:44):
We were learning, you know, sort of arithmetic. We were
learning sort of you know complex.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
I think whales structure. I think I remember spending some
time on wales.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Learn cursive cursive was second grade for me? Okay, cursive script? Wow?
And that was I remember something. I thought, Well, now
we're really leveling up, right, now that we all know
how to write cursive, now the world can really begin.
I haven't written in cursive there.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
Do you think that could separate current generations?

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Though?

Speaker 3 (05:11):
Like take a millennial and the gen Z and be like, okay,
someone writing cursive.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Yeah, give me a show me a Z.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
They're like, cursive, you want me to write curses?

Speaker 3 (05:19):
Oh my god?

Speaker 1 (05:20):
You know what?

Speaker 3 (05:20):
It was like? Fuck ass damn capital G in cursive
was like a nightmare for me.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
It was like, what is that?

Speaker 3 (05:27):
I think it's like a big circle just it was
just six flags like prototype. Yeah, I have no idea how.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
The Olympics, Yeah, the only one that it feels like
they got to the end of the alphabet and we're like,
now we have to make something up is the Z
though the lowercase Z is literally a little It's like
a little tiny, little half circle and then a squiggle squag.
I don't even know what the zs like. A look
up thiscursive under lowercase Z. You will be shook for weeks.
You will be shook for a week.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
You'll be shook for there are two z's in my
last name, and I do the lower case Z when
I do my signature, so I actually have a very
personal relation and ship with the lowercase Z cursive two
z's one cup, I'm i z z O and I
to z's one cup.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
It's a for a title of that.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
Okay, yes, well the.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Something better, I dare you comes something better than two
zi's one cup. The gatlin has been thrown down. Oh god,
I never thought about that. You'd be writing two z's
your entire life and cursive.

Speaker 3 (06:19):
I feel like a little bit when I do it.
I love my signature.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
It's like that, do you live for the fantasy of
your own signature? This is a major topic.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
When I practice my signature when I'm not doing something official, gorgeous, stunning.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yes, as soon.

Speaker 4 (06:32):
As I have to sign something, I'm like, oh, I
forgot how to spell the m's not conn for me.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
If I get going, if there's a bunch of things
to sign in a row, like a lease, like by
page three, I'm.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
On my ship, I'm a stamp. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, wow.
I have to say. One of the things I live
for about myself is my signature. I live for my signature.
I inherited my cursive rs from my father. If something
passed down from generations the way we write our rs,
and sometimes when I'm like just by myself doodling, I'll
do my own signature. And then when you come of age,

(07:02):
you realize every fucking thing you sign is on docu
sign or electric so you are trying to copy what
is a cool natural signature on docu sign and you
feel like a fucking freak, like dragging the mouse around.

Speaker 3 (07:15):
I know you really wish you had a styl.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
Phone sometimes and like sign it with your finger, but oh.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
That's good, Hey, maybe I'll do that. And like here
I am like all the way down the rabbit hole,
like in tech, like just trying to sign something.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
But like also at the same time, in like grocery stores,
when they ask you to like do a little signature,
I'm always like this is stupid, and I'll always just
do a line like I won't even do anything. I'll
just be like, this is dumb that believe it's acceptable.

Speaker 4 (07:38):
You gotta do a giant The first letter has to
be giant, and then the rest would be like.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's how mine is. It's a huge,
big R that announces itself.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Is bigger than the M.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
The M is kind of big, and then the att
is small, and then the R is big and the
O G E R S is small.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
My M is massive. YEAHS for massive.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
You know the M. We all deal with the letter M.
I love for first and last name, the M. It's
a powerful, powerful letter.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
Certainly it's a powerful.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
Sound money M mansion, men, men, men, as we all connect.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
Which brings us back to So.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Here's the thing, Like, in preparation for this episode, because
I know this, we're going to be discussing why are
You Single? The live show, which everyone really should go
see and keep your eye out. I believe if you're
not able to go tonight in Brooklyn, they're going to
be starting up again in September.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
Yes, we'll be at the Bellhouse going forward, probably every couple.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
This is a really really fun show. And I was
thinking about it and I genuinely tried to ask myself
why am I single? Then I said the more interesting
question for right now because I know we're going to
get into it with me, but two people who are
curating this show, you have to have like a relationship
with your own single theom Why are you single? Oh?

Speaker 2 (08:52):
People ask me every day.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Yeah, well why are you single?

Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yeah? I'm like, why am I single. I'm low key
like a perfectionist. I think in that I want you
to look perfect next to me, right, your face.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
Just has to fit.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
So we're living in aesthetics.

Speaker 4 (09:10):
You're absolutely I'm a libra. Okay, it needs to be
aesthetically pleasing to my eyes.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
I get it. It needs to make sense in like
a way that you're like, we're appearing as a couple, right.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
I want to walk in with somebody and people gasp.
They're like, oh, I don't.

Speaker 4 (09:27):
Want you to guess bad, Like I don't want to
be like that's who she's with.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
So it's visuals first when you're like making a date,
like that's that's what you're looking for.

Speaker 4 (09:34):
If you're talking to me, I'm looking at your face.
I'm trying to see if you have all your teeth.
I'm seeing if the hairline and the beard connect all
the way, Like, don't come at me with scraggling.

Speaker 3 (09:43):
You always say that, And my hairline and beard don't connect.
They can't.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
They don't have to connect to each other.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Oh my god, yes they don't connect.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
They don't.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
No, no, no, no. Your hairline is all one piece. There's
no gaps in the.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Forehead, you have a panic attack every time you say that.

Speaker 4 (09:55):
The beard is all one piece. You know how some
people just they can't they can't be.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
They can't connect. If you can't connect, we can't we
can't connect. All right, So do you think maybe your
preoccupation with aesthetics is really why you're single?

Speaker 2 (10:08):
No, because.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
Denial of that right there.

Speaker 4 (10:13):
No, because hot to me is not hot to everybody else.
I see, right, you're hot is not my hot.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
No, that's certain.

Speaker 4 (10:20):
You just got to look good to me, but also
like be able to put a little outfit together.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
When's the last time there was a relationship that was hot,
that was like, you know, one that you fondly remember.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
We said, when we say relationship.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Okay, I'm talking about something that's more than a situationship.
It was not just fucking. It was a relationship where
you were like a little bit more invested in this
person than everyone.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
Felt like that.

Speaker 4 (10:43):
The beginning of this year, I started out. I met
this guy on New Year's Eve and we started strong.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Was like, oh, this is cute. This guy. He was
kind of like a certified love a boy. It was giving, Drake,
it was giving.

Speaker 4 (10:55):
He was very like, I don't know like a motive.
He was very like communicative.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
It was a little bit annoying.

Speaker 4 (11:02):
I was like, why are you telling me this all
up top?

Speaker 1 (11:04):
So the transparency was popping off immediately, clear.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
Crystal clear.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yeah. And then he was a little too clear because
he told me he had him in paying his rent
and I was like.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Oh, yeah, you should have stopped that.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
You gotta go.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
Yeah. So basically, like, how long was that a situation?

Speaker 2 (11:20):
Oh like three months?

Speaker 1 (11:21):
So three months?

Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah, may he rest in peace.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
You've had a proper boy to you, and I actually
don't know if this is about you.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
I've had a boyfriend before. I've had a boyfriend before, and.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
That was when what year is it? Twenty twenty three, baby.

Speaker 4 (11:33):
The year of our Lord. I had a boyfriend like
ten years ago. Wow, okay, so we're together for three years?

Speaker 3 (11:42):
Uh huh.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
So you're someone who prefers to be able to do
whatever the fuck you want?

Speaker 4 (11:46):
Sure, yeah, sure, but now I want to like have
a person that I travel the world with and do wild.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
And kinky and crazy cool things with.

Speaker 4 (11:54):
Yeah, and it's my person, Like I'm not like I
don't want to be out looking around to see.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
Who's in my thing. I don't want to look anymore.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
I do that now and I never used to do that.

Speaker 4 (12:04):
I used to just go out and beat you with
my girls, and it was like somebody would come over
and it was like I'm with the girls, and now
I'm like where are all? Like why is nobody coming
to talk to me? Why is nobody sending drinks to
the table? Like what's going on? And you know, I
blame dating apps.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
You think that it like made the culture more difficult
to navigate.

Speaker 4 (12:24):
I think dating apps and I think the pandemic has
made it like scarier to talk to people in real life.

Speaker 2 (12:28):
I think you're right, and it's like just come talk
to me.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I actually don't know
what it's like really to just show up someplace. Well,
actually you know what. It happens more than I say,
but like it's now a thing, like it's not the
first way you'd think about going to meet someone is
like just going someplace and hanging out and then you meet.
Like there is this thing now of like you would

(12:53):
talk to someone on DM you plan to be at
the same place, like, oh, I'm gonna be here with
my friends, You're gonna be with your friends, or you
just like use the DMS as a hookup app, which happens.

Speaker 3 (13:02):
More and more, you know what I mean, talk about it.
I haven't been single for particularly long, and all I
see is people using Instagram. It's like people are pre
screening and being like, well, oh, you're in this friendship
group and I can see that based on I can
pre stock you and say, oh, you fit into my
life already, Like there's no spontaneity with like, oh my god,
you're friends with my friends. I had no idea. It's
like very quickly, especially through Instagram, you're just finding out

(13:23):
like exactly that person's thing, and you could get background.

Speaker 4 (13:27):
Check and we're checking tagged photos because we want to
see what you really look like without the Paris filter.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
Oh yes. You know what I did the other day,
which was mortifying someone that I used to have a
thing with. I went into there and this is how
you know, Twitter's got to go. It's just got to go.
I've never done this before.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
I went.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
I went into their Twitter likes and that's when I
was like, what are you doing? I was like, why
have you fallen so far? And I want you to
know I feel horrible about myself the entire time I'm
doing something like this, but looking at their Twitter likes
and seeing what they've liked, I was just like, oh no, no, no, no, no,
I need to touch grass. I need to get the
fuck off my phone. And that's why I'm like more

(14:07):
inclined to like go out and have that be the
way I meet someone. But it's also like my energy
for that is so low. But also maybe that's just
because like that's right now.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
I keep pushing myself. I'm relatively newly single, like it's
been like a year and a half almost two years,
and like I feel like I am the kind of
personality that will go up to people even though really yeah,
like I think people find it refreshing. Yeah, Like all
of the people that I've like bagged if you will,
or like people that I've gotten to know better have
been because I was very unafraid to be like so

(14:41):
like where are your friends? Who are you here? With
a lot of people are like, uh what, Yeah, you
just seem sort of like a different.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
Breason what you're saying. You're coming up and being like
what where are your friends? Where are you are?

Speaker 3 (14:51):
Actually I'm just thinking about this pride interaction that I
just had where it was really like I saw this
guy from across the dance floor. He looked at me
and gave me this big, bright smile with these really
cute dimples and like literally waved me over. And in
that moment, I was like, I either ditch all my
friends and just go say hi to this person, or
like I don't know what, like wait for him to
come into my friendship group. I was like, I'm leaving.

(15:12):
I like sped away from my whole group and the
two of us like just got to know each other.
It was great. I mean, there was drugs involved.

Speaker 4 (15:18):
But that's the sprinkle on top.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
Well, I mean in that particular instance, it was pride.
But I don't know. I guess I'm finding that, like
I'm not so afraid to go up to people, but
there is a mixed bag of responses that you get.
Like some people, it's like it does not compute when
you come over and make a big swing of like
so where are you from. Also, I've been finding that
as even as like a sort of a bottom sexually

(15:41):
for like most of the time I'm making like top
swing moves.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
Yeah, that is a top swing move and to even
engage in any way like first, I feel like it's like, oh,
I don't even And that's maybe me speaking from where
I'm like as someone who prefers to be approached like
cause if you give me a signal go, I will
really give it back. But I am never gonna make
It's not that I'm never gonna make a first move.
I rarely make a first move. But if you if

(16:06):
there is a vibe there and you make a move,
I respond, and then I feel like I can sort
of run things once things are very clear. But I
need things to be very clear. What's the signal to
go for me? And this is my love language too,
physical touch. If we're talking and it's a vibe and
you put your hand on me in any way and

(16:27):
I'm into it, it's a go there. And that's kind
of how I am in relationships too. Like I'm recently
was dating someone. We were talking about love languages because
we don't have the same one, and mine is very
like when I'm in a relationship with someone like mine
is physical touch, Like I like to be very affectionate
and this person is like not like that. And so

(16:47):
it's been a little bit interesting getting it started, but
like that's me Like if you make it clear in
a way that's very clear. And I'm not saying just
come up and touch me to anyone listening to this podcast, am, but.

Speaker 4 (17:01):
They're just gonna start caressing your face right hands to
the lower back.

Speaker 3 (17:05):
Like I get what it what it represents, and I
get like that it sucks. But like for me, if
we lock eye contact and ibat my eyes at you twice,
you can touch me.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
Let me see the ibat bat your eyes.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
Dave's Dave's new line has been he's had a couple
of new lines. Like one thing that he's been saying
and this is not the line I'm talking about. But
he'll text me about game show which we host together,
and he'll be like, hey, I was noodling on this
idea and he's like, I'm still noodling. I'm just noodling. Well,
I was noodling before and I was just like.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
This, and I invite the readers to defend me because
this is noodling on something. It's like something my kindergarten
teacher said, but use your noodle.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
But like, I don't know, it's just so funny to
hear you repeatedly use it, and it was like I
hadn't said anything about it. He just kept saying noodling,
And then I was I was kind of finally like,
you really are just a noodler, aren't you. You're just
a little noodle hendo.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
Now when you use it, I'm gonna be like, I'm
gonna like it.

Speaker 1 (17:59):
Yeah, I know. But the other thing he's been saying
is he is I'm a kiddy and if you pet me,
I will per. That's what it has been saying. That's
my Real Housewives turn around. I'm I'm a little kiddy
and if you pet me, I will per.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
It's you know what I mean. It's like in certain points,
or at least in this chapter, like my model right
now is no boyfriends till twenty twenty five, Like I'm
tapped out. I was in a seven and a half
year relationship and it broke We broke up about a
year and a half ago. It's been a really wonderful
but really difficult journey back to my own self confidence

(18:33):
and also like getting back into touch with a person
who hasn't been single and like closer to a decade
than yeah, yeah, like twenty.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
Three years old. Single at thirty two is so different
than being single at twenty four to twenty five.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
Like I met him in a completely different period of
my life. I had a completely different set of needs,
and my needs changed. And when I tried to readdress
and refocus, you know, yeah, the whole the thing came
crashing down.

Speaker 2 (18:57):
I heard completely different set of knees.

Speaker 1 (18:59):
Oh need, I got to compell you a new set
of knees to be on the Marie.

Speaker 3 (19:05):
Told me yesterday at the pool that my knees looked
very clean and looked like I'd never been on.

Speaker 1 (19:09):
I was sitting right there. I was like, and it
came out of nowhere, and I was just.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
Like, okay, was no scars. No, I have a yoga mat.

Speaker 1 (19:21):
He's on his knees all the time.

Speaker 3 (19:25):
My father listens to every episode of this podcast.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
Hi, Big Dave, your son's on his fucking knees constantly.

Speaker 3 (19:34):
He's picking tomatoes right now. He'll never hear this.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
Are you ever honest with your parents or anyone in
your life that's like an older person that you're supposed
to like, you know, have like that degree of removal
with about what a whoror you have been because I
I I recently my mother. She said the most iconic thing,
like three years ago, Like I mentioned that I have
a friend that I used to hook up with, Like,
oh yeah, like he's in my friend group, but we

(19:57):
used to hook up. Not a big deal. And she
just goes to me, Matthew, are you a slut?

Speaker 3 (20:04):
Did you answer honestly, bitch?

Speaker 1 (20:06):
And I was like, Mom, I'm not talking to you
about that, So I didn't say no.

Speaker 3 (20:12):
Yeah, But in the script I'm writing, you take a long,
hard look in the mirror, and then maybe we cut
and we don't know whether or not you answer her.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
You were just on the phone with your mother when
you were rolling up. I wonder what were you chatting about?

Speaker 4 (20:22):
Well, I was talking her. No, not horrid because my mom.
Mom doesn't ask me anything about anything that I'm doing.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
Okay, that's it.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
She's like, you're not asking me for money?

Speaker 3 (20:32):
Great?

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Great? Love it list it great.

Speaker 4 (20:35):
My aunt, who is my mom's younger sister, anytime I
speak to her, she's like, do you have a man yet?

Speaker 2 (20:40):
You got to have these babies. You gotta get married.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
Oh you in that regard.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
She's on me in that.

Speaker 4 (20:45):
But then like I'll tell her about guys that are
bums or guys that I'm like, he didn't know what
he wanted to be when he grew up, so he's
dead to us. And she's like, well, maybe you gotta
start dating, you know, not black guys. And I'm like, oh, yeah,
I see that I've done that. And she's like, yeah, girl,
maybe get you a nice well to do beije man.

Speaker 3 (21:05):
And I'm like, yeah, I would love to identify as
a well to do beige man.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
Let's do be well to do bag.

Speaker 3 (21:12):
Oh my god, Like how do I apply?

Speaker 2 (21:15):
I think?

Speaker 3 (21:16):
Do you want a relationship?

Speaker 2 (21:18):
I would like to be in a relationship?

Speaker 1 (21:19):
Yeah, you're saying you want someone to trap. I don't
do things well I don't want.

Speaker 4 (21:22):
But also, it's twenty twenty three. Summer twenty twenty three
feels different. It just feels like this is a summer
to do any and everything.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
M hm.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
So I'm leaning into that because I'm trying to live
my very best.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
And also like here's the deal, not just swing back
in like a weird way, but like you do have
this new project and watching it, I can see it
leveling up in a way, like there's so much it's
so clear, like it throws back to like singled Out,
It throws back to like because there feels like there's
like a fun community on stage where it's like, you know,
Dave is like the producer behind like almost like like

(21:54):
a DJ board. You have a special guest the other day.
We all know it was your bestie Sydney Washington, and
then you had fun contestants. It really felt like a
throwback to like those like really fun dating shows of
like MTV or like you know, like it.

Speaker 3 (22:07):
Was like like messy on purpose.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
Yes, absolutely, and so like what I saw there was
like something that could be something I could see on
TV very easily. And so I'm like, you know what,
while you were on your upswing, don't invite anybody new
in because the egos of especially men, straight men. I mean,
we're seeing it right now with Kiki Palmer. Oh my god,
like this, oh my god, Like I think I think

(22:32):
it's completely done because they stopped following each other on
Instagram because he dared shame her for what she was wearing,
the mother of his children. And this is what I'm saying.
These guys who are in it and they're getting a
free ride. Everyone especially women who are like really on
the up and up. Don't allow these people who are
like you see it. You just see it all the time,

(22:54):
where like people talk crazy to their partners, like when
they start to have some success or they start to
like look extra good or do extra good, like the
ego jumps out and it's so disappointing. So I almost
feel like, you know what, continue to get yours and
establish what you are and then when someone is like
really down for that or able to handle that, then
link up. I think, Matt Creeds, I.

Speaker 4 (23:17):
Gotta go well, no, because like I just I feel
like for me, I I know that the universe wants
me to win, and I feel like that's all aspects
of my life, my personal life, my career, everything that
I'm supposed to sell and book and create, I'll do it.
Which is why I think I'm able to kind of
just be like chill about everything because I'm not worried

(23:38):
about it. Yeah, and I think the same thing about
like my dating life. Yep, Like the universe doesn't want
me to be with a loser. No, absolutely not. Not
somebody who's gonna be like that. You're a mom first
of all, No, go home and watch Kieky's child because
that's your only job.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
See yeah, I mean, can you imagine knowing the platform
that like you and her have and you have by
the way, because of her right and that you were
gonna go out and like that to me just shows
like a true lack of respect and understanding that if
he's willing to do that publicly, what is happening privately?
And we're talking about Kiki Palmer, the big Boss, the star,

(24:16):
the even number one and friend of the pod, And like,
I just can't imagine someone like her who star shines
so bright and is obviously such a force of positivity,
who everyone seems to love, like I think is on
her way to legend status. It's like, you're gonna talk
to her crazy? That just makes me sad, Like, wow,
even the best of us will attach to someone because

(24:38):
matters of the heart, they're very crazy.

Speaker 4 (24:40):
So the crazy because I thought he was like a
football player or a baseball player or something.

Speaker 1 (24:45):
I mean, I have no idea who he even was,
to be honest with you, I knew that she kind
of kept it more low key, right, and I don't
think anyone really knew who.

Speaker 3 (24:55):
I know very little about it.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
To be honest, Well, all I know is that like
after she had the child, it was more of a
public thing, and then like we all kind of knew
who he was, and then he said this crazy thing
and now everybody knows who he is because he came
out and said that. It's like, Wow, you really defined
yourself in the public eye, and now you've been unfollowed,
cut off.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Well, I heard in the pool yesterday where Dave's knees
were oute. I heard in the pool yesterday that he
was cheating or he was with somebody else and had
her have an abortion or something before that because Kiki
was having a bit.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
Like the moral of the story to me is exactly
what you said. Matches that you just never know what
people are dealing with. You never know, You just never
ever know. And that's why you really can't rely on
like what things appear like. You have to go off gut. Yeah,
you can't be working towards something better. It's not there yet.
There's cracks. We're disagreeing here. You have to acknowledge those
disagreements because for a very long time you can let

(25:47):
things go on until they just spiral out of your control.
I guess what I'm saying, is I learned it. Your
gut is always correct with this stuff, and it's just unfortunate.

Speaker 4 (25:56):
God what your gut not with your butt? I'm telling you.
Red flags are there, and we sometimes will ignore them.
But sometimes I see things as red flags that aren't
necessarily red flags.

Speaker 3 (26:06):
Like this kind of started the show. But yeah, the
red flags are, we pass them out to the audience.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah, that was a really fun element. So everyone in
the audience gets a little red flag. And whenever there's
red flag behavior on stage from a contestant or whoever
the fuck is talking like you yourself, we're getting red
flag waves quite a bit.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
I didn't really don't know.

Speaker 3 (26:23):
The show was about celebrating the red flags that we
all possessed, because red flag to us is kind of
like it's something that just raises awareness as you're getting
to know somebody. It doesn't necessarily mean bad or good. Initially,
it doesn't mean bail. No, it doesn't mean bail, but
it means, like, you know, when you hear I've got
to go home tonight because I'm staying at my mother's,
the antennas are up. The antennas means get the keys

(26:44):
at least put in your hand. She could be sick exactly.
He could be in for the weekend and have a
beautiful home somewhere else.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
Is just is your mom staying with you?

Speaker 4 (26:54):
I mean yeah, Like people will come to the show
and they'll say things like, I live in New Jersey.

Speaker 2 (26:58):
That's a red flag for me.

Speaker 3 (27:00):
Yeah, but you know how BIG's the house and like,
don't care.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
They could be living in the good part of who knows?

Speaker 2 (27:07):
What's the goop out of New Jersey is New York.

Speaker 1 (27:11):
North New Jersey.

Speaker 3 (27:12):
It's no lie. But I mean, honestly, I've been to
some pools and we hawking and absolutely given it.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
We hawking.

Speaker 4 (27:18):
I don't even want to talk about wee hawking. I
don't want to know how to say. We ain't talking
about wee hawk We ain't talking about But also in
the show, we bring three contestants. They volunteer themselves. They
fill out this very long questionnaire that ask them questions
about their dating life, their sex life, what they think
their own personal red flags are, because we all have them.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
Okay, so let's go through the show. You guys are
going to go through the show with me. We're going
to play a version of the show.

Speaker 3 (27:41):
Okay, we'll figure it out.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
And by we're gonna do that, I mean that we're
going to figure it out.

Speaker 3 (27:46):
So let's so for the first couple of things that
we would typically interview our contestants and they have them
fill out a questionnaire and we ask them a few
key questions. So I guess, why don't we ask some
of the questions from the questionnaire to Matt and see
what his response is.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Let me pull up the the sheet.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
This is basically like when someone is like, you're looking
for like a contestant for the show. You're not looking
for someone that's like, hey, hey, we can get them
to like you.

Speaker 3 (28:08):
Know, No, we want honesty. We want people who are
digamic you're of.

Speaker 4 (28:12):
Them personalities, more people who are cool with oversharing.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
Oh, peop, don't worry, I have a podcast.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
Some people are well.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
It's funny that you were because I was at the
show and you were like, what's a red flag about you? Like,
that's one of the questions you One of the questions
you asked is what.

Speaker 3 (28:27):
Do you think your own one of your own personal
red show?

Speaker 1 (28:29):
And when I was sitting there thinking about it, because
of course everyone in the audience. And this is why
I would say go to the show and engage with
the show, is because it actually gets you to assess
your own behavior. Is Like, I think that one of
my biggest red flags is probably the fact that I'm
someone that externalizes a lot of information about my life.
It's like been a problem actually in my last two relationships,

(28:50):
actually all of my relationships has been an issue.

Speaker 3 (28:52):
You overshare, just the podcast and just the visibility of
you as a person.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Just like I am someone who not only just on
this podcast, but certainly on this podcast, but like to
my friends, I talk about everything that I'm going through.
So like, if you're dating me, it's not like I'm
going to put you on blast publicly. In fact, I
think I've learned and been a lot better about that.
Like I'll talk about, like in vague terms, what I'm
going through, but I won't be like, you know, this week,

(29:16):
Henry did this like I did when I first started
the podcast, but like I was, and I was like
I had to learn. I'm like, you know, you're using
You're using poor Henry and Jared. Henry and Jared, like
I would I would say first last, first last, and
whatever it was happening, and I had learned from both

(29:36):
those relationships and my last relationship he really did not
want and I've never you know, said anything specific about
him really. But the thing is like, I also went
through a pretty rough time in the aftermath of that breakup,
and it's what I'm going through. So it's like a
walk you have to do about, like, you know, this
is the way I connect with people that are my guests,
my friends, like the community of people that listen to

(29:59):
this podcast. But then it's also like it gets to
a certain point where you have to decide, like, oh,
certain things are going to be more important than that.
But I am a talker, and I think my red
flag is our business is a little bit like my
friend's business. It's a little bit like, you know, something
I have to work through because I'm a big externalizer
that and probably you know, just overall clinginess beach. It's

(30:24):
when I'm really really obsessed, when I'm really really really
loving someone, I think I do need a lot of
validation back.

Speaker 4 (30:31):
Okay, So is it like you need that text first
thing in the morning and you need that text last
thing at night.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
I think that if I text you and you are
my boyfriend, and it takes you hours and hours to
get back to me. We're going to have a serious
problem and I need to know, like I need to
know why.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
I mean, that's that's real.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
I mean, I can appreciate.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
Too much time.

Speaker 3 (30:52):
Yeah, just like, and I'm just reflecting on my own behavior.
I'm kind of that guy right now. I'm kind of
I think that's well, you're not in a relationship, no, no,
but I'm like you in the street. I'm in the streets,
and like, I actually, something I'm realizing about myself is
that I don't know how to really be like an asshole.
I don't know how to leave people on red right
right right. I like give people too much. And I
think that's one of my red flags right now is that, like,
I'm actually not as interested as you might it's not

(31:15):
as interested as I might seem because I am protecting
myself a lot. I mean, I was just in a
very very long, very serious relationship. I came out of
it very bruised, and I have my guard up hard.
But I'm horny. So I'm just kind of like.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
But also I think that that's fine to say. And
here's what I would say to anyone out there. This
is a sentence that has gotten me really through it,
which is expectations are a recipe for resentment. Like if
you have no expectations, you can't have any resentments. So expectations,

(31:51):
don't have them. Just like take people at face value
and don't color in the lines too much because that
is when you will be disappointed.

Speaker 2 (31:58):
But also be honest.

Speaker 4 (32:00):
Yes, if you don't really like somebody that much, don't
lead them on, right.

Speaker 3 (32:06):
Yeah, It's just a delicate balance. And I guess like
something I'm realizing as a red flag for me is
that I'm talking about my past relationship still or like
I can feel it still massaging the way that I
behave and like influencing like how I approach new relationships.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
Well you have trauma.

Speaker 3 (32:21):
Yeah, I'm just still me.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
Are you in therapy talking to somebody?

Speaker 3 (32:24):
I do have a therapist. She's amazing. I'm in and out.
I just like have a weird relationship around the whole thing.
I thought I had a really strong sense of self
and was like really heavily gas lit into a lot
of behaviors, Like I was on antidepressants at one point,
Like there was things that I was doing that didn't
align with my true heart felt and it wasn't until
the ceiling fell down on top of me that I

(32:45):
realized that. So now at this phase, I'm just like
a lot more reserved and very upfront about not wanting
anything too serious.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
Yeah, well then they can't.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
Be mad, Listen. I'm an honest person.

Speaker 4 (32:56):
I'm also an outward facing you know, I'm a comedian.
Have I do videos about dates? Not every date I
go on gets the video. Only the ones that are
really funny are really bad. Yeah, But guys that I
go to rock, guys that I go on dates with,
assume I'm going to talk about them, and it's like, well,
it's be on your best behavior. Please don't wear basketball

(33:17):
shorts to this date. But I'm not talking about everybody.
I'm not using names. I don't have to talk about everybody.
I can go into the vault and tell a story
about something that happened five years ago and people are like,
that must have just happened today, and it's like no, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
Yeah, I have a question for you. So one of
the questions from the questionnaire is what is the worst
date You've ever been on? Yes, worst date? And now
this actually might. Does this mean you have to expose
somebody that we just talked about not exposing.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
Okay, name them, Mickey Mouse. Here's what I'm gonna say. Okay,
I haven't been on too many bad dates that were
memorable because I've been. If I've been on bad days,
they're just been boring, you know what I mean. Like,
what I'll say is that one time I went on
a date where it was at his house and it
was very explicit that like this was like gonna be

(34:14):
a fun thing and it was gonna be like a
sex thing, you know what I mean, Like it was
gonna be like sushi and sex kind of which was
very hot for me. I love that the guy was
so fucking hot and I was into the vibe. So
I get there and it wasn't that it was a
bad date. It was lovely, but it was memorable because
he told me pretty immediately that he was not over

(34:35):
his ex, and that was so different than the energy
that I had been getting, which was like so excited
that I was coming and so kind of horny. And
then it was not only was he not over his ex,
but he played me a song that he wrote for
his ex, guitar. Like we just like talked about the
X so much, and I was just like at a
certain point, it's just like, oh, you are a sweet person,

(34:57):
but you have something to deal with, you know what
I mean?

Speaker 2 (34:59):
They just broken up, was it?

Speaker 1 (35:01):
It was pretty fresh? And I think a lot of
the reason why I was there was because I had
hooked up with his ex years prior, and I think
he was so wrapped up in the thing of the
X that like it was just very clear that like
this night was not about like me and him, It
was about like him and someone else. And I was
there as like a sort of a guinea pig trial

(35:23):
of like can I even date someone new? Sure, like
like safe, familiar, but also like and he was so
sweet and so great, but it was just like a
thing of I'm not going to be here as a
way for you to test yourself if you're ready.

Speaker 2 (35:37):
Now.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
There was sushi. There was no sex, which was disappointed.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
Are you talking basic rolls or was there like a specialty?

Speaker 1 (35:44):
It was like sugarfish, you know what I mean. Like
it was like we gotta we gotta blue, you know.
We went to Poundtown in a certain way.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
Pund I played Poundtown for Matt last night and he's upset.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
Poundtown greater than Brown Yes, snow Sex, which was actually fine,
And I remember I left being like, listen, I'm gonna go.
It's like one thirty in the morning, because I stayed
for too long. And then he was like, oh, I'm
so upset, Like I was so excited that you were coming,
Like I feel like I've been such a bad date,

(36:14):
and like I feel like it was irresponsible for me
to ask you out. And I was like, look, I've.

Speaker 3 (36:18):
Had it well for this communication.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
Honestly, well it kind of got there because, like I said,
he was a very sweet, nice guy. But the thing
is like by the end, I was like, look, I
had a really nice time getting to know you. This
was fun, and I would just say that if we're
going to hang out again, make sure that you've got
this figured out, make sure we go to Poundtown. Yeah,
and then I'd like to go to Pound Sound, Poundown,
you know, at some point ultimately, But at one point

(36:41):
during it, I was like, do you want to just
like look up but it doesn't have to be like
a deep thing. And then he was like he was
he was.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
Even I'm enduring him, like blubbering, being like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
He never cried, He never cried. He was just like ugh.
And then he said he's like, I just got a
text from my ex. Can we just kind of like
hang out and watch TV? I was like, of course,
did they break Okay?

Speaker 4 (37:00):
Was the breakup on a Tuesday and you were there.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
On a Thursday?

Speaker 1 (37:03):
I think it was. Well, then, then this is the
best part. So a few days after the date, he
calls me and says, I just wanted you to know
that we got back together and then they were back
together for like literally like a few years. A few years,
you do.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
But I'm not going to say no, no, no, definitely not now.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
But like, and the thing is like, it was not
a bad date at all, but it was the most
memorable way a date went left for me. And what
I learned from it was just like the second it
looks like a date is going in a certain direction,
you can just go, like I probably should have just
gone home.

Speaker 3 (37:39):
You don't owe it to them to like complete the
complete the whole. I don't think I needed to be
there from eight pm to one thirty. No, you're not
going to this is the one way ticket to hell.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
And the thing is just like just because the expectation
had been set that we were going to like fucking
it was like a thing that he was like excited about,
and for it to turn that way, I was kind
of just like sitting there waiting in an dissipation the
whole time, like when is this going to turn into
the other thing? And it never did. And like I said,
I had a lovely time hanging out. We're actually friends now,
but it's the kind of thing where I'm just like

(38:10):
that was a memorable way when the guitar came out.
That's when you knew someone was in.

Speaker 2 (38:14):
When they pulled a guitar out.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
Right, Babe, I really can't do that. Like I wrote
a song for you is like full crunch. For me,
it's full stop calling it oberg gotta go. I don't
want to hear music.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
Here's what I say. It wasn't about me. It was
about the X, which are my God. Now, that's what
I'm saying. It's like for you to show me a
song you wrote about your ex, I'm like, okay, well
why am I here?

Speaker 3 (38:35):
Well this is the red flag I was speaking to
about myself. But I'm not here I'm just it's something
that I talk about or like, I think a personal
red flag is. They might be like, how'd your previous
relationship end? And it's like, oh, you're like how much
times you have?

Speaker 1 (38:46):
Six years?

Speaker 3 (38:46):
We opened up our relationship and it's like those things
to me feel like red flags. It involves a very
long walkthrough of that situation, which is way too much
to do on a first, second, third, or twentieth date.
I think the farther I get away from it. This
is why nobo friends till twenty twenty five. The farther
get away from it, the less it's a part of me,
and the less that I'm worried about being this guy
that you went on a.

Speaker 1 (39:07):
Data And I think that's why I haven't been dating
a lot. Well, I have been dating more lately, but
like it took a few months because I was so
wrapped up in what that was. And the second you
are talking about someone else to someone who you know
is there for like a dating purpose. That is, you
can just hear yourself being You hear.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
Yourself, but you can't stop yourself.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
No, you can't stop.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
It's very relatable. That's why you need to rent an
apartment in Poundtown. Yeah, I'm currently I have a two
bedroom condo in Poundtown. Yeah, I mean. Which is another
good question from our questionnaire. So, by the way, all
of the contestants are asked ahead of time to submit.
The link is in Marie's bio. If you do you
want to fill out this quiz, you should fill out
this quiz if you live in New York or LA.

(39:51):
We do the show all the time and we would
love to have you as a contestant.

Speaker 4 (39:53):
Here's the question that's on the thing. What's your biggest strength,
like what you bring into the table?

Speaker 2 (39:57):
Bach.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
I think that when I care about someone, I care
about them a lot.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
And also I'm a lot of fun I want to
have sex pretty much all the time. And I have
really nice, sweet, funny people around me. And I am
extremely communicative. So like I would say, like my overall
personality and a relationship, like I'm a big lover. Okay,

(40:26):
my family is great. I just mean, like the people
around me are good. Like I have a really good
sense of people and like judge a character, and like
if I'm close to someone, it means that they're also
worth getting to know.

Speaker 4 (40:37):
Okay, Okay, here's what we want to know. If you
could date anybody dead or alive, who would you date?

Speaker 1 (40:42):
If I could date anybody dead or alive, what I date?
That is an interesting question. I think that like, probably
right now, I would date someone who was and you're
asking like a famous person.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
If you say the name and everyone's like who, that
doesn't really help me.

Speaker 3 (40:58):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
So basically like I'm now at type I'm now at
this place where it's like I don't want to date
someone who's in the who does the same thing as
me at all. No actors or like other comedians certainly,
or like maybe not even someone that's like creative. Primarily,
I really want someone who gets it, but like does
something totally different. Like I would actually love to date

(41:21):
someone that was in like architecture.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
I would let me a little architect.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
Yeah, like Stanley Tucci.

Speaker 1 (41:29):
Yeah, like Stanley Tucci in one of his gay roles,
will be fabulous.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
You know.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
I also like have been dabbling with the idea of
like dating an older guy because in porn I've been
into it.

Speaker 3 (41:41):
Gener will never collapse because of it?

Speaker 2 (41:42):
How much older?

Speaker 1 (41:44):
Yeah, ten fifteen years.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Everything still works, I think.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
But also maybe That's not something I would want all
the time. I think, honestly, if I'm being really honest
with myself, I want someone who probably is just a
very figured out person who brings a level of like
comfort to the table, who looks like, I don't know,
the guy from uh No one, the guy from nine

(42:11):
one one lone star.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
Here let me go.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
Yeah, you get on that.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
I have one of the gays from nine one one
loan Star. Oh.

Speaker 3 (42:19):
I would love to date Roblo, some one of those
demographic Yeah, like him at a bar coming up to you.
Hey there, little one.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
Oh, so that's daddy. I was talking about the people
who play like his sons. His son is in a
gay relationship and both of them like they're like I
guess they go by Tarlos, like because one of the
I don't know, like that's one of those guys. But
Roblo back in the day and Roblo now like Robo
ten years ago. Perfect, Oh Parks and rec Roblo. Yeah,

(42:50):
when you.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
Come in, you just be like this man is perfect.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 3 (42:54):
I have another one another question for you from the questionnaire.
What's sexual kink that you save for the one that
you save or him he doesn't see it until you're
ready for him to see it, and then you let
it out. I might know the answer.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
Okay, this is a safe space. I am really Now
it's it's group sex for me. Now sex I like
sex with other people, like multiple people. Like it's fun
and it's like an actually an interesting exercise in like
how safe you feel with your partner. And it's something
I will never do again until I know I've got
the one and we've signed that, we've signed the emotional contract.

(43:29):
That makes sense. That's papao be mine. I don't really
identify as like a kinky person.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
I actually we can remove the word kink, I guess,
but like it's like something that you wait and you
hope that they like that you like.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
This is interesting because for me, it's like when it's
the one, when it's someone I really care about, And
this maybe makes me like un cool for the question,
but like it transitions out of sex into more like
love making and like when things get very very intimate,
like I can be like very very like romantic and
intimate and like I'm that kind of person that's like
it's giving eye contact. Yeah, yeah, I actually get off

(44:02):
when people say I love you, you know what I mean.
Like it's like I can see that. I'm like, it
doesn't mean we can't, like you know, have like rough sex,
So it doesn't mean that I can't go there. But
it's like I'm not a person that when I get
more comfortable, it gets like dirtier and nastier. Like when
I get more comfortable, it gets like sweeter, even more

(44:22):
connected and gooey.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
I like that.

Speaker 1 (44:25):
Okay, man's cool. But I mean, like, you know, but
like I'm not anti kink, like when I'm out here,
like it's it's just interesting who I am sexually with
someone I don't really know, and who I am with
someone that I do really know, Like I actually need
the reciprocody of like, hey, I'm here and I really
care about you, you know what I mean. Otherwise why
do we keep doing it?

Speaker 2 (44:45):
It's hotter.

Speaker 4 (44:46):
But also when you're with somebody that you care about,
especially if you guys have been together for a while,
it just it is better because you guys know which
other's bodies.

Speaker 2 (44:53):
It's just like it's work less work.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
When someone is like really into you and you don't
need to like elevate it to a place of like,
how do I keep this interesting? Like I don't know,
Like I just I feel like I've had situations where,
like two two and a half months in new kinks
get introduced, like new ideas get introduced, and you're like, oh,
I didn't really necessarily need it to go there. And

(45:17):
there's that thing you go through where you're like, do
I have to try this? Do I have to like
be okay with this in order to keep him interested?
Like is this something that he needs? And that's where
it starts to get interesting, like because I'm not really
someone that wants to get like slapped, you know what
I mean. I'm not really someone that likes to get like, yeah,
you're not here for a harder end of the spectrum.

(45:39):
I don't really want to be peed on else. I
don't see.

Speaker 3 (45:43):
I've done a lot of things because somebody else has
requested me too. Yeah, and if they really want it.
I think I'm a people pleaser in that way. Where
as long as it's not like, as long as it
doesn't involve heavy clean up, I'm down.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
Yeah for the most part. Why what about you? What?

Speaker 3 (45:57):
P Yeah, Ma's got a Marie Murrie. He's actually I
don't want to say, No, the girl them feet, you
be tossing them out to men, they go straight in mouths.

Speaker 4 (46:07):
No, I mean I don't. I'm not tossing my feet out.
You know, I don't have a wiki feet or anything
like that. Don't google Maurice's fee.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
But I bet there is a wiki feed for you.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
There's not. I'm there. Oh maybe there is.

Speaker 3 (46:18):
There is.

Speaker 1 (46:19):
There's one for me. If there's one for Matt, there's
got to be one for you.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
There's no one. I'm gonna google it when I leave. No,
but yeah, I'll put my feet in somebody's mouth.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
Sure, I mean, but you're not putting anyone's foot in
your mouth.

Speaker 2 (46:32):
A man's foot with the hairy big toe.

Speaker 1 (46:34):
No.

Speaker 3 (46:35):
Yeah, I've done it.

Speaker 1 (46:37):
I mean I've tried it. Okay. I was hooking up
with someone during the pandemic, and I think, like, you know,
just to try to like see what was up, like
I did, put the foot in my mouth. And it
was so funny because we locked eyes and we both
in that moment realized it was not for us. It
was like, we don't do feet. I don't think. I

(46:58):
don't think we do feed together. I don't think we
do feed a part. I think you and I we
don't do fee. That's something nice. Yes, it's nice when
you can align like that.

Speaker 3 (47:07):
I'm also really attracted to like the spontaneous stuff right now,
the sort of like no strings attached. I mean, I've
had like a few hookups on vacations, like vacation I did,
like I had, I hooked up with a kayak innstructor
in part in the closet like that love this story.
That was amazing. I was like when I went for
a wedding too, I was in in Mexico and I

(47:28):
it was in like a broom closet, a proper Mexico, Yeah,
a broom closet. And then he left me a no,
asked me like to order a bagel to my room
for room service, and then he came to my room.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
With a bagel. Did he bring the bagel?

Speaker 3 (47:40):
He didn't bring?

Speaker 1 (47:41):
Oh, come on, did he eat the bag He ate
the bag period? Was everything was copy seed, no honey.

Speaker 3 (47:56):
No honeyplane, squeaky clean period. No. It's like that's something
that I guess is something that I'm enjoying right now.
It's like sort of spontaneous like connections, especially on vacation
I'm just like, you just know you're never gonna see
them again. It's just like this could never be. So
it's just like you get a piece of me.

Speaker 4 (48:11):
And also it's like a good story to drop into
the group. Chat me tell you what I.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
Just did it westin sex.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
This is what I'll say. On vacations, I do become
like I go through the gamma radiation and become like
a hulk version of myself in terms of being a whore.
Like when I go on vacation, it's like carte blanche.
I turn into a different person, Like I put like
a vacation hat on and I click in and I'm thinking, now,
like maybe that is a little bit of a kink.
That's like not super sure. It's like hooking up with

(48:41):
people that I probably shouldn't.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
Dedicated to this. Do you have sniffies?

Speaker 1 (48:47):
It's not necessarily like anything I'm doing sexually, it's who
I'm doing it with. Like I'm a little attracted to
this idea of like, oh, I shouldn't hook up with
my teacher, I shouldn't hook up with my boss, So
maybe role play honestly, and I famously I started a
role pay recently and the guy told me I think
you might be too good at improv.

Speaker 2 (49:07):
Oh you said yes, And.

Speaker 1 (49:09):
He wanted to do a scenario that was like coach player,
And so we had a date. We were in the
car going back to my hotel and I literally just
go he no. He said, he's like, you did really
well in practice today, and I was like, oh my god,
we're doing it.

Speaker 3 (49:22):
We're doing it, We're doing it practice.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
So I said, yeah, I give my all on the
field because you know, things have been really hard at home.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
And then he goes, yeah really, and I go yeah,
and I think that when I look at you, I
see you as a father figure and I really want
to impress you. And then he goes, I think you
might be too good at improv.

Speaker 4 (49:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:46):
Yeah, you're creating like sort of like a home Like
wait a minute, yeah, a little bit too.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
I was just saying, like it's tough with my father.
I'm closeted at home. I want daddy, can you be daddy.

Speaker 2 (49:59):
That's to.

Speaker 4 (50:01):
Things have been real hard at home means two things,
or it could be like he maybe you know.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
I'm just saying, like, you know, my dad, like I
think I said, like, you know, I just my dad
and I. It's a tough relationship, looking for a father figure.

Speaker 2 (50:13):
I care, I'm crying.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
I'm sure like he like goes to get loop turns around,
MAT's in full wig, Matt has on shoulders.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
I'm also not realizing.

Speaker 3 (50:23):
You know.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
Another one of my kinks is I kind of like
I kind of like armbits you Like, you don't have
to whisper that. That's like kind of like a man's smell,
or do you need right after.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
Like a workout man smell.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
I don't know about all that, but you just win
out for the day, just like you don't necessarily if
I'm really into it, you don't necessarily have to be
like squeaky clean like deodorant like have you can have showered,
like the hole should be clean. But like if I'm
smelling armpit and it smells like man, that's actually good.

Speaker 4 (50:52):
Well, I think if you like the way someone smells naturally,
I think that means.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
You really like it.

Speaker 4 (50:57):
It's on because some people I've I've been with I
didn't like how they slew or they didn't smell like anything,
and that was like weird to me.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
Like smell is I don't.

Speaker 3 (51:06):
Know, you can smell like Lei labo and I'm not mad.

Speaker 4 (51:08):
I like them to smell good. Yeah, because smelling good
is sexy.

Speaker 1 (51:11):
Wait, but you were talking about this to the show.

Speaker 4 (51:13):
It's like, if you're ugly but you smell good, you're cute.
If you're cute but you smell good, you're hot. If
you're hot and you smell good, you woho, that's the map.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
Oh my god, wait, I gotta write that down.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
Yeah, write down, write it down.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
That's amazing.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
I've done the work. A square plus B squared equals you.

Speaker 1 (51:27):
Oh yeah, okay, all right, So I would say that's
my thing. It's like I have like an intimacy kink
with people that I'm really interested in and then potentially
some role play.

Speaker 3 (51:37):
So after we get to know our contestants for a
little while, Marie like basically roast them, we do a
deep dive on their social media. As we ask them
to surrender over their profiles, they send us screenshots from
all the apps. So many apps these days, so many
apps like field we hear about farmers only.

Speaker 1 (51:52):
Oh you mean like apps like dating apps, the first
specific things.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's so many specialized on We saw
what was it farmers. It's like for people who are
interested in people who are interested in agriculture as wild.

Speaker 2 (52:04):
I didn't even know there was that many farmers in America.

Speaker 3 (52:07):
Yeah, there's communities all over the place in the dating world,
but we ask after we get to know them a
little bit, then we start to put them against one
another because we are looking for the person with the
least amount of red flags. Oh okay to be crowned
a winner.

Speaker 4 (52:17):
Right, And we're not saying that you have no red flag,
you do, You just have less than the two people
see the.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
Most eligible out of the bunch. I get it. So basically,
like it's a thing of the audience sort of dictates
and energy in the room of like we're not feeling
this person because and it was interesting, like when people
just start talking and you give them a space to talk,
they will sell you a crazy thing.

Speaker 3 (52:40):
Oh absolutely, And that's what we're looking for in the
applications when when we get them in is like.

Speaker 2 (52:44):
We love a little crazy.

Speaker 3 (52:45):
This person's ready to talk.

Speaker 4 (52:46):
We love a little crazy. David and I will be
looking through them and we'll be like, okay, she.

Speaker 3 (52:51):
Yeah, jeep. Last show on our show in New York,
we had a contest name Jeep, who was like giving
us all these crazy answers about guys that she went
on and boys that I'd like, try to take our
crazy places. We were like this girl spills. But the
next chapter is that we go through questions that Marie
asked or Instagram that are a little bit larger scope
and just we need an answer from you. So I

(53:12):
have one now. One would be how long have you
traveled for sex?

Speaker 1 (53:16):
Far?

Speaker 2 (53:17):
How far far this you've traveled for hmm?

Speaker 1 (53:19):
Okay, actually, I oh my god. I flew tickets a year.
I flew from New York to LA like in twenty eighteen.
I was coming for a week and it was should
I say his name?

Speaker 2 (53:37):
Sure?

Speaker 3 (53:37):
I think it would be contradictory to the beginning of
this podcast when you said how much you've grown from
doing that, But yeah, say yes, put this man's name
on and if you have to believe it right, I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
There was I'm just gonna do it. I feel messy,
so the show's about do it.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
This was in twenty eighteen and I was I'm gonna
say it. I was walking up with Lewis Ertel and
I flew I flew across the country to hook up
with Lewis, and then I remember I flew New York
to LA and then I remember it like didn't really
work out, like I think you realized we were more friends.

(54:14):
But I did fly from New York to LA to
stay for a week, to hopefully fuck Lewis vertel for
a week, and.

Speaker 3 (54:20):
Then Lewis for tells his sweetheart, sorry, that was now
we're good friends, but like this was you were friendship.
You didn't know?

Speaker 1 (54:27):
Ah?

Speaker 2 (54:27):
Okay, I googled him, got it?

Speaker 1 (54:28):
See it?

Speaker 3 (54:29):
Yes, keep it.

Speaker 1 (54:30):
We first hooked up like years and years and years
prior and then like it was one of those things
where we didn't really know each other, but there was
like an intense connection. I thought I was like in love,
and so I came back and I was like, but
that's your thing, man, you love hard, girl, you go.
And I also decide who people are before I really
get to know them, and like, I love who Lewis
is now, but he was not who I thought I was.

(54:53):
You know what I'm saying. It's like when you put
in all the effort beforehand and you're like you really
think it's one thing, and you build it up in
your head and all of a sudden the castle is
built and you walk in and you're like, oh, this
is just a sound stage. You know, there's nothing, there's
nobody in the there's no one in on the grounds.

Speaker 2 (55:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (55:10):
Yeah, But I think the mind is very powerful, right.
We we build things that we want to build, We
see things we want to see. Sometimes you can blur
things out that are there that you should be looking at.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
That's what it is. But the answer to your question
is three thousand miles for a friend of the show,
Lewis for a time well the most popular answers online.
The fourth most popular answer was international. These people have
crossed countries.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
Yeah that was flying from Australia.

Speaker 3 (55:36):
Responses, Yeah, it was wild.

Speaker 1 (55:38):
I think about it. I really do. I definitely certainly,
like someone will get in the DMS and I'll be
like where are you and they'll be like London, and
I'll be like, oh, I'm almost there. I'm almost there.
I can almost justify like me traveling the way I
like to travel comfortably, like you go all the way.
They're beautiful and.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
I love to see you.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
So three thousand miles currently is that I'm.

Speaker 3 (55:58):
Trying to convince the boy I met over prior to
go see Taylor Swift in Europe with me.

Speaker 1 (56:02):
My god, wait go with me?

Speaker 3 (56:04):
I want to Oh my god, I don't go with that, Okay,
I want to go to like Paris because I didn't
see her when she was.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
In Paris, not till next It's like she just extended.
Yeah she was. I'm guessing you're not a big Swift
ye wouldn't.

Speaker 3 (56:17):
That be the most amazing thing to learn here?

Speaker 2 (56:19):
I did just watch her Tiny Desk the other day.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
Oh my god. Wait, her tiny Desk is great.

Speaker 4 (56:23):
I mean, she didn't have nobody back there with her.
It was just her girl and her guitar and her piano.

Speaker 1 (56:29):
And she sounded fucking great.

Speaker 3 (56:30):
Oh look at you like being all like, oh about it?

Speaker 1 (56:33):
I love I watched a couple of times.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
Yeah, I love that Tinysk is incredible. I have to
watch MOONI still Moon is fantastic. I can't wait to
watch it. When we saw them in New York, they
were just about to go film it, and I just
know it's going to be fantastic.

Speaker 1 (56:46):
What did I recently watch? I think there's an old
Jazmine Sullivan one too, which is like yeah, yeah, there's
Oh Usher's tiny desk, tiny desk is amazing. You remind me,
let me tell you something. There's so much narrative about Usher.
You forget. His voice is like, I mean, of course
it's an instrument, it's a voice, but like it is
so it's like a finally tuned instrument at all times,

(57:09):
Like he just finds the notes and he's.

Speaker 4 (57:11):
Been doing this for so long and his face looks
almost exactly to see.

Speaker 3 (57:15):
Here was my first crush. I knew I was gay
when I saw Usher's abs. That was like the moment
he was formative for sure. Might might be piece of
formative culture for me.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
She like, sid, oh yeah, I mean you also forget
how good some of the songs on Confessions were like,
oh Bern is so good too? Are you feeling it even?

Speaker 3 (57:43):
Been a long time coming?

Speaker 1 (57:45):
The man fell apart?

Speaker 3 (57:48):
But I don't think it's wown this relationship. Baby, I
ain't baby, because there's so many wow.

Speaker 1 (58:05):
I think, let it yet, you gotta let it go.

Speaker 2 (58:14):
Nobody ain't used to.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
You know, let it go? You know, wait and ever
so good?

Speaker 3 (58:27):
Wait, it is so good listening on two points or
its one point five? Are gonna have a really fun experience.

Speaker 4 (58:34):
I'm gonna let me add that to my karaoke playlist.

Speaker 1 (58:37):
Don't forget about well, no one will ever forget about yeah,
because that was in a capable will always be a classic.
My Qession's part two with him and the show, Yeah
my Boo is.

Speaker 3 (58:47):
Another really good karaoke song for like with you Andy Body.

Speaker 4 (58:49):
Yeah yeah, but Confession's part it's our song. Yeah, Oh
my god, go back and listen to that album.

Speaker 3 (59:00):
I might do that in the car.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
Okay. So that's how long I've traveled for sex.

Speaker 2 (59:14):
I think same for me. I was in a lot.
Well it was the guy that that I was with,
that boyfriend, new boyfriend that I.

Speaker 4 (59:18):
Had many I don't travel, I host, yeahs want people in.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
My house nowadays, I don't travel, I travel, I have.

Speaker 3 (59:26):
I keep a nice home. And if you don't know
how to handle your stuff in my home, I love
being able to throw you out. So I don't like
go into unknown territory. That is exactly right. And the
thing is I hate hate hate because.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
You never do know. Like recently, I did a grinder
hook up and I traveled like forty five minutes for
what I was positive was going to be a fire hookup.
The guy was prothetic, pathetic. Oh my god, it was horrible.
It was just saying like a really hot but no
sexual energy. Well I get there and the first thing
he says is, hey, I actually like I have a
bruised grib so we can only do it missionary and

(01:00:00):
I'm really cooked out and my dick doesn't work, but
I definitely I.

Speaker 4 (01:00:03):
Want to do this was just what you could have
said this to me before I paid for the oobs, babe.
Well no, he was before I came over.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
And then I'll tell you what the really stupid fucking
part of it was was after we had sex for
like twenty minutes, is a boring sex that he was
like not even he also we had barely made out.
He did he didn't want me to eat grinder.

Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
I don't actually want to kiss always. It's like kissing
is actually like for me, it's like comes after sex.
Isn't that fucked? It's like blowjobs are like hi, I
love making it, Like making out is like sure, but
like kisses, eye contact sex kisses, that's like.

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
See that is my cake. I have an intimacy cake.
But he might be right afterwards he goes to me,
can you follow me on Instagram? My friend will freak
out and I was like, oh, this is what I hate,
and this has now happened. This has now happened to me,
Like and this is like whatever ghost to talk about,
but this has happened to me like between five and
seven times. Like someone will say after that they knew

(01:00:57):
who I was, and I'm like, yeah, I guess that's
like a weird thing for you to navigate, but like,
I guess I would have rather known that. And now
I think I'll do grinder less just because people are
fucking crazy on you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
Hear that readers identify yourself before you try to fuck
mat on Grinder?

Speaker 1 (01:01:12):
Yeah, don't we Well what I love is like when
they say I don't think so honey if this is
not you, ha ha ha. And then they sent a
picture of whole.

Speaker 3 (01:01:19):
I'm like, oh God, that's fucking hilarious. I actually love that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
Grinder is a zoo.

Speaker 3 (01:01:25):
It is a zoo. I had one guy tried to
take a selfie after sex. I pulled a hat trick
at the Moxie Hotel, like a I had three interactions
one hotel. Yeah, it was a really wild night. And
one of the guys. The first guy tried to take
a selfie with me. Afterwards, I was like, I'm visiting
the city. It was an absolutely not situation. And I

(01:01:48):
went down to the lobby and then I got a
text from somebody else who was in the same hotel,
and I did a quick like I like fixed my hair,
gone right in the elevator, I went straight back up.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
You said, zomni zoo.

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
Yeah, of course being safe, but at the same time
time like giving into that like horn devil, random kink
that exists me. It's like no strings attached. Who are
you Let's just try it with safety.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
You know what my kink is And I don't know
if it's a kink or not.

Speaker 4 (01:02:10):
I just it's really hot when people tell me how
much they like me during sex, Like tell me how
good it is, tell me what it feels like, tell
me just like I think it's like a praise kid.

Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
Yeah, Like, don't be like I.

Speaker 4 (01:02:26):
Love your pocket, Like no, I don't want to hook
up with people who've seen me performed, but just like
in the moment, just be like, oh my god, your
eyebrows are like even your cat I like, your teeth
are so what.

Speaker 1 (01:02:38):
Eyebrows. Even I'm not I'm not that I love.

Speaker 4 (01:02:44):
Mary Kay Ashley. They're exactly the same. No, no, no, no,
But I'm just saying, like, like, just.

Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
That's so so.

Speaker 3 (01:02:54):
Do you like some people?

Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
I say baby a lot and someone like in a
baby voice. No, I can't stand baby. No never baby voice,
never ever ever, But like I say that. And recently
someone had a problem with me saying the word baby
during sex. He's like, it's like too much, and I
was like okay, and so I was just like, all right.

Speaker 3 (01:03:16):
Baby feels dude, I can fuck with bro. Not gonna lie.

Speaker 1 (01:03:20):
I was called little Bro one time and I shot
my come to god, little Bro, little Bro. The readers
know my story about, you know, big Bro on Fire Island.
He called me little Bro during sex and they were
fucking outside, like in the backyard of his house, and
I swear to god, it was seconds after he called

(01:03:40):
me a little bro that I was like, break my ear.
It was like that scene and scary movie where he
finally comes and he's like it's like an avalanche.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
I was like, I like baby, I think that that's
it can be romantic. Also, I like to like I'm
good at cooking and like I love to host, like
I said, so like in the morning, like I'll make
a little egg, I'll make like I'll do something like
really casual and cute on the.

Speaker 4 (01:04:03):
Are you are you sticking out of the bed early
to do that or you guys like.

Speaker 3 (01:04:07):
No, I'm making it look effortless. I'm getting up in
the morning.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
And he wonders why people are like, oh, he really
likes me. It's like you made him a full fucking well, it's.

Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
Good you made a California breakfast.

Speaker 3 (01:04:18):
But you're right, Matt, that is actually something that I'm
trying to manage, just like how quickly I roll out
the red carpet for boys that I don't really know
that well because I've been taking advantage of before. And
it's like, you got to protect all the good pieces
of you because if you make it look real good
over there, I don't know, they're going to tell you
what they need to tell you. To get your phone.

Speaker 4 (01:04:33):
I like when guys come to my house and then
they cook for me in the morning, it's like, well,
what do you have. I'm gonna rent to the store
real quick. I'm like, this happens, that's true.

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
Queendom.

Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
That's happened to me before you. Wow, yeah that was nice.

Speaker 3 (01:04:45):
Also, you don't got to cook too if you just
want to seamless like some mister chow for the evening,
like it doesn't matter. Like I also love a guy
who like just kind of takes control. Sure, just like
its order something.

Speaker 4 (01:04:54):
Really hot about you being in my kitchen cooking for
me and you know, I'm like this, I'm going to
send and pitches to the group chat like girl, look
at his butt sea making eggs?

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
Is it for you? What's the hottest thing on a guy?

Speaker 4 (01:05:08):
I like a guy with a nice but that I
can like, you know, do you? But I like shoulders,
back chest. I need it to be like, oh my god,
this is a man. I need you to be shaped
kind of like, you know, a little marvelly, you know, little.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
Like yeah, okay, I get that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
It's a grown ass man.

Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
It's so weird for me, like I could be into anyone.
It's just an energy thing. It's I don't have a type.

Speaker 4 (01:05:31):
I do also think a hot for me is also
guys that like know who they are and what they want,
Like just somebody who's like, yeah, I do this, I.

Speaker 1 (01:05:39):
Do this charisma I'm going to build I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:05:41):
I'm an architect and I'm going to do system chapel
two whatever, like whatever it is that you do, You're
just like that is who you are, and you are
very confident. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
Oh yeah, confidence will get you chexy sexy. Yeah, And
that's the thing is, It's like that's my thing about
like being approached and like when someone comes in and
it's just like undeniable, like I'll fall for that, yeah,
and I have.

Speaker 3 (01:06:03):
And I guess a piece of that for me right
now is like falling back in love with myself and
reconnecting to my star power and reallocating all that energy
that I was putting into previous relationships back to myself
has made me feel this sort of like confidence. And
it's like when I go over and make a first
swing and like approach somebody else, I feel like I'm
getting off on my own confidence even before the conversation

(01:06:24):
set it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:24):
Okay, it's like you feel like you could talk to
anyone just because you literally are doing it.

Speaker 3 (01:06:31):
Yeah, yeah, you know what, why not? Like if anything,
if they spin it into like a pleasant conversation, they're
not into it. It becomes like a friendly conversation. I
know how to handle that, and also I have a
good read on those types of things when it's time
to step away when that it's not going the way
that I thought. And like I think, every time I
do it in this post breakup world, every time I've
done it, it's gone well in some capacity. So like
I'm like sort of high on that confidence and like
trying to keep that ball rolling.

Speaker 2 (01:06:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:06:53):
I made a list of the people that I hooked
up with that I dealt with lash. I have one too,
and I saw you the other day.

Speaker 1 (01:06:58):
I couldn't believe how long mine was. When I did
this recently, I'm like, WHOA. I called my mom back.
I was like, I am a slut. I was with
my sister on vacation and she told me her number
and then I told her my number, and I think
she had an asthma attack.

Speaker 3 (01:07:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she flew home and she was like, I.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
Gotta go.

Speaker 4 (01:07:18):
But half of the people that I talked to last
year is because I approached them and I initiated a conversation.

Speaker 2 (01:07:23):
But I've also been told that I'm intimidating and that's cool.

Speaker 1 (01:07:26):
Yeah, you were talking about this at the show well
because it keeps.

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
Away some of the refraf.

Speaker 4 (01:07:30):
But like when a guy is confident enough to approach me,
that's sexy because it's like some people are scared, but
look a big boy.

Speaker 1 (01:07:38):
But here's the thing they get in their mind that
they are like when they see you, like up on stage,
when they see you like out there doing your thing,
confident on the internet, like projecting like you know, Marie Fauston,
and they're like, I'm gonna go up to that and
I'm gonna like pursue Marie. It's this thing of like
they by nature of like what we do and who

(01:08:01):
we are, they have colored in the lines already, and
it is like weirdly about them being like I'm gonna
get that, and then about acquiring you. It's about acquiring
and I've you know, it's a thing. And so then
all of a sudden, when you're a real person and
they're a real person, and that element of the chase

(01:08:22):
and that element of that thing of like, you know
who i'd like to date, you know who i'd like
to see myself with this person, then all of a
sudden they stop performing which they are whether they know
it or not, and they're just the boy, They're just them,
And all of a sudden, you're like how much of
this was actually about us and me and us together

(01:08:44):
and how much of it was about your ego? You
want to show up and be like Marie Fauston, Yeah,
why it's.

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
Given, she's all that.

Speaker 4 (01:08:52):
Remember when he was like there was like that bit
and he was like, yeah, I could get anybody to
be popular whatever, pick one or pick one, but it's
like they pick a specific person.

Speaker 3 (01:09:02):
Well, I hope it doesn't happen to me. That sounds horrible.

Speaker 1 (01:09:04):
Well, it's just a thing where it's like when you
are someone who like decides to to be someone that
could be known at all, Like then there's this element
of like, okay, dating has changed now, it's different now,
especially like especially in the gay community. I've kind of
accepted now that like if I'm if I'm in the

(01:09:24):
gay scene in Brooklyn or LA, like likely at this point,
like they may have some idea of like what so.

Speaker 3 (01:09:34):
And then they also comes this element of like, okay,
so now they're coming over to talk to just talk
to you as a stranger, but they know they have
hours and hours and hours of your personality that they
are already, so it's like, is anything authentic or are
they just coming up winded up with what they know
you already would respond?

Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
People have said it on like the third date. I
feel like I finally have to come forward and say, like,
I do this that the other thing, this is what
I know, this is what and I'm just like, ugh,
now it is hard.

Speaker 4 (01:09:55):
To so yucky to me when I hear that, tuto,
it's like, oh, you watched.

Speaker 1 (01:10:00):
My video, It's not to me if they're honest, it's
not to me. If they're honest, it's a little icky
to me.

Speaker 2 (01:10:04):
I think it's but I think it's because.

Speaker 4 (01:10:06):
I date men, you know, like as as a tiny,
kidnappable person. It's just like I don't like when it
feels like you know more about me than I know
about you, right, so please please.

Speaker 3 (01:10:17):
This is why I'm keeping my gay fame very tight.
I'm managing, you know, just how quickly. I don't want
to be big. It's why I want to date someone
that doesn't. It's not in the industry and maybe maybe
it has a very little understanding of social media that
would be nice. I'm sorry, No, social media is not
sexy to me. If you have no social media at all,
you have a fenced out you're lying or you're cut

(01:10:38):
off from like an entire money market. That it really
depends on what job you work in, because for most careers,
I feel like if you're off social media, you're missing
out on money.

Speaker 4 (01:10:45):
Well, maybe you have a social media but it's just
like pictures of windows that you like, won't building.

Speaker 1 (01:10:50):
I can't do a boy that's like, oh no, I
don't only do like online.

Speaker 3 (01:10:54):
I can't do that.

Speaker 1 (01:10:55):
I'm gonna the online of it all. I'm gonna get
into it, and I don't think so honey in a bit,
but like there's a certain pivot happening from Twitter or away
to something else, and I have questions about it, all right,
So that's that was that question. What else there's a
question about like how long sex should last? Yes, what
is the ideal amount of time for sex? Now? So
basically I was really shocked that so many people think

(01:11:19):
sex should be so short.

Speaker 3 (01:11:21):
Surprise to the number one answer is twenty minutes.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
I felt thirty minutes, and then people were like, then
someone on stage, I think Courtney who won the show,
was like five minutes of for play fifteen minutes of sex.
I'm like, five minutes of foreplay, that's not enough time.
I like for play. I like a lot of.

Speaker 2 (01:11:39):
I like the build up. I like that.

Speaker 4 (01:11:42):
I mean, if you do for play right, you can
kind of like weave it throughout like a day. You
know what I'm saying, Like, yeah, yeah, we're ling up
to it.

Speaker 3 (01:11:50):
We make out in the bathroom restaurant, and we stopped.

Speaker 1 (01:11:53):
The bathroom restaurant at closet. Yeah, my girl is up
in the public, in.

Speaker 3 (01:11:58):
The public, like I don't know, just like I can't
want you dance floor. I've been doing crazy shit.

Speaker 4 (01:12:06):
No, but that's that to me is all four play,
like leading up to and then you know, when we
get to it, it should also be more four play.
But I'm also like a round, you know. I'm like,
let's hook up, let me do what I do, and
then let's take a break.

Speaker 3 (01:12:22):
Let's have some water, let's smoke.

Speaker 1 (01:12:25):
Oh, I know for sure. I mean, I love three
of us.

Speaker 3 (01:12:29):
Are weed people. Yeah, that's amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:12:32):
Dave was actually very formative and my I brought I
was the main flower.

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
I brought it. I brought it in and gave it to.

Speaker 1 (01:12:38):
Well, actually it was Dave and Sooty. Sooty smoked me
out for the first time, and then when I started
hanging out with Dave Moore, we were high pretty much constantly.

Speaker 3 (01:12:45):
Yeah, we watched All the Man.

Speaker 2 (01:12:47):
It's a beautiful way to like the world.

Speaker 4 (01:12:50):
Yeah, watching TV high, having sex high, eating food high.

Speaker 2 (01:12:52):
It's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (01:12:53):
Yeah it is. Eating food high really is beautiful. I remember, like,
is that a deal breaker for you if they don't
smoke weed. No, that's not a deal breaker for me
at all.

Speaker 1 (01:13:00):
But I will say it's also just like and I
hate that it really helps. But when someone tells me like, oh, yeah,
I smoke weed, or like I would be into smoking together,
I'm always like, yeah, like you can be cozy. Yeah.
And but the thing is, like I do wouldn't want
anyone to think like I need that. Like I also
don't need you to drink. I don't need you to
need to go out a lot. I don't need you

(01:13:21):
to you know, smoke weed. I don't need you to party.
I don't need you to do anything. What I need
you to do is love me. That's it. Yeah, and
have a good relationship with me and just communicate with
me about what it is because guess what, Like I
don't need to be out all the fucking time. I
don't need to smoke every single day. I don't you
know what I mean, Like I don't need to be
a balance. I don't need to even have a drink
at dinner, Like it can be a balance. Like I'll

(01:13:42):
do what I do, you do what you do. It's
just like not everything has to like eat itself, but
it helps.

Speaker 3 (01:13:48):
But like through all this conversation, where I think we're
realizing is that, like you know, there are it's like,
well this is a no. But also actually if it's
kind of like this, then it's okay, Like you don't
have to smoke weed, but also you can't be like
this drugs or you know the red flags Like initially
when you like list them out and you're like no
this know this, there's actually a lot more disclaimers and
a lot more like shades of gray in those than

(01:14:09):
you realize. And that's why I think dating is hard,
is because when you go on an app, it's like
yes or no, there's no gray area, and it's like, actually,
sometimes what we find is that contestants on our show
with lots of red flags, we end up falling in
love with them. Everybody on the show. It's it's really
a celebration of straight people who put themselves out there
and who are fucking straight people.

Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
We've plenty of gaze on the show.

Speaker 1 (01:14:33):
You got your shows confused?

Speaker 3 (01:14:34):
You got my show's confused. I look at that.

Speaker 1 (01:14:36):
You got your show? Was me confused?

Speaker 3 (01:14:37):
It's really Dave started doing he started doing the Quibi
press tour. I'm sorry, I just keep trying to reshuffle.
It's single people, is what I mean? That, Like you
know that are have shades to them and like you,
I just want to.

Speaker 2 (01:14:50):
Be with somebody fun.

Speaker 4 (01:14:51):
Yeah, take yourself too seriously and know how to use
your words.

Speaker 1 (01:14:54):
Yeah you know.

Speaker 4 (01:14:55):
I mean I've also been with people who I feel
like maybe smoke too much.

Speaker 1 (01:14:58):
Oh yeah, for sure.

Speaker 4 (01:15:00):
Just like you got, everything you gotta do is high.
It's waken, bake, and go to bed. You also dream high.

Speaker 3 (01:15:06):
I can judge that because I was there at a
certain point in my life in the pandemic. I was
high for like one calendar.

Speaker 4 (01:15:10):
That the pandemic doesn't count, like we were supposed to
just be like sober the whole pandemic.

Speaker 2 (01:15:16):
We're all dogging the.

Speaker 1 (01:15:17):
World certainly not no, no, no, no, definitely not.

Speaker 2 (01:15:20):
People were doing drunk zoom happy hours.

Speaker 1 (01:15:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:15:23):
I mean, you know not I said the.

Speaker 4 (01:15:25):
Cat, but people were doing that every Thursday or frid
or whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:15:29):
Yeah, I mean it was just what it was. I mean,
you just got through the way you got through exactly. Well,
you have no you have no opponents today, Matt, So
you win. I know, I kind of win. I guess
I was. The last thing I was going to say
was like one thing I love and you know that
here at last colchesis we love a one minute countdown.
What I loved was when you said you have to
sell yourself for a relationship in one minute, and it

(01:15:50):
was very funny, but also the three contestants like in
one minute, all felt like they were very genuinely like,
this is like what I offer for in a relationship.
And it was actually really sweet to hear people like
advocate for themselves, rude for themselves. And I felt like,
how much in our culture, like and how much in
our dating sphere do we really talk about the positives

(01:16:13):
about us and what we can offer. We so often
fixate on the things about us that are wrong, that
are the reason why we're not in a relationship, and
sure that there's like much to like pontificate on about that,
but I think that something that we don't do very
often is say, hey, here's what I offer, here are
my strengths, here's what I think is attractive about me

(01:16:34):
and a partner. Here's what I can offer you. And
I thought that was like a really good way for
you guys to end the show, because it makes it
very positive and it's very genuine, and I think that
that's actually a very attractive thing. And so you leave
with like this very this idea of these people in
this very positive, attractive light, and so I would flip
it on you guys. Could you sell yourself in one minute?

Speaker 4 (01:16:56):
Yes, Marazily, I feel like Dave's got to go first,
because sell myself on that show.

Speaker 3 (01:17:01):
She doesn't know the Ti'm sure I can sell myself.

Speaker 1 (01:17:03):
Dave, sell yourself in one minute. We are going to
do I don't things money, but we're also going to
do this, Dave. This is your one minute to sell
yourself as someone who should be dated.

Speaker 2 (01:17:11):
Go.

Speaker 3 (01:17:12):
My name is Dave Mazzoni. I am an Italian American
with a heart of gold. I can cook, I enjoy cleaning,
But more importantly, I know how to care for you.
I have been through a shit ton. I've been in
a very long relationship. I have made mistakes. But one
thing I know how to do, and the most important
thing for me in a relationship is communicate. I will

(01:17:35):
tell you everything, how I'm feeling right now, how I
felt yesterday. There is no gray area when it comes
to my feelings, even if they're in process. And if
you are looking for somebody who knows how to communicate,
I'm right there. Also, love sex, also very adventurous with traveling,
love to go different places. Also, my parents are really nice.

(01:17:58):
We have like an above ground pool, cute in the suburbs.
What else? I just moved to a new apartment in Brooklyn,
having big, beautiful lips, and I get my hair faded
every two weeks without exception.

Speaker 1 (01:18:10):
And that is one minute Dave Mazoni on Instagram. Yeah,
come to a two zy, come on, come over to
my neighborhood. That was very good. Okay, Marie, now you
have to go, Marie, sell yourself in one minute. Your
time starts now.

Speaker 2 (01:18:25):
How you're doing. First of all, you hear my voice
is six. My name is Marie.

Speaker 4 (01:18:30):
I am fun I am funny, I am fantastic to
look at. I'm a good time right. I read books sometimes,
but I'm not. I don't think that I'm better than you.
I just want to be with somebody who wants to
have a good time. I'm trying to travel. I want
to eat, I want to smoke, I want to bang.
I want to laugh at people together because I'm really

(01:18:51):
good at stopping and staring and being mindful and being there.
Why are you wearing them shoes? I can cook, but
I probably won't cook for you. I like to go
out to eat. You could order mad things for the
table and we'll eat it and have a great term.
Sex with me so amazing. And I'm a charming ass,

(01:19:13):
charismatic as beach. So if you're going out, you're introducing
me to whoever. You're introducing me to your friends, your family,
your pastor they don't love me, You gon't love me,
and people are gonna be like, oh my god, you're dating.

Speaker 1 (01:19:25):
Her, and that's what man, Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (01:19:28):
When you show up with a partner properly, that's the
first thing I'm gonna say is, Wow, you got Marie
like you got Marie.

Speaker 1 (01:19:37):
I can't I see it so well. Okay, now is
it your turn? Yes, my turn. Put me on the clock. Matt.
It's time for you to sell yourself. Go Okay, I'm
Matt Rogers. I'm a blast, and I will share everything
I have with you. That's something I would say is
if I'm dating you and we are like in a
good place, I will make you feel like a king.

(01:19:59):
I am a really good motivator. I also like to
have sex all the time. I've even been told that
it's an issue sometimes, Like I like to have sex
at night. I like to have sex in the morning.
I like to have sex in the middle of the
day thirty seconds. So basically we can be on your schedule.
Just know I kind of like am always sort of
available in that regard. I have really fun friends. You'll

(01:20:20):
really like them. And I think that I'm also really
good at adapting to your social situation. I can be
put in any situation and pretty much socially, but in
a second day, I keeep it together. In terms of
my body and my mind, I'm always busy. I'm actively
activating seconds that I do. I can respect the things
that you do too. I'll give you space. I can
also be on top of you. So that's why, see.

Speaker 3 (01:20:43):
I agree with you Matt that like this moment always
ends up being like kind of sentimental. We had a
contestant two shows ago that was just like he was
one of our straight mail contestants that we are hard
to get on the show if you're a straight mail
and you want to because you.

Speaker 1 (01:20:55):
Were saying it feels like straight men walk into a
situation like that, especially where you're the host Marie, and
you're like.

Speaker 2 (01:21:00):
They just think it's a trap the entire time.

Speaker 4 (01:21:03):
Everybody's getting low he roasted, but like it's not. We're
not attacking any of the straits because we need the straits.

Speaker 1 (01:21:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:21:11):
Absolutely, But we had a straight I in the cell
yourself say I am in therapy. I've been in therapy
for years. The audience stood. It was a standing ovation
for the strain.

Speaker 1 (01:21:21):
That is huge. Yes, that's also one of my things,
like if we're dating and I'm thirty three years old, now,
if we're dating, you need to be or have been
in therapy. And it's so funny because I only started
like two years ago, but now it's like, wow, I
know it's so important.

Speaker 4 (01:21:39):
Well because it's like therapy for me is something that
like I never thought that I was gonna do or
need to do.

Speaker 2 (01:21:46):
You know, I'm a black girl with Caribbean parents.

Speaker 4 (01:21:48):
Therapy is like you got to go to church, but
I started during the pandemic, and it just changes how
you think about how you feel. Yes, And like sometimes
I'll be mad about something and I'd be like, well,
why am I mad about that? And I'm only asking
that because of therapy, And sometimes it's like, oh, I
actually don't even really care about this.

Speaker 2 (01:22:05):
Take your ass to.

Speaker 3 (01:22:06):
The therapy absolutely good, even if you think you have
everything figured out, Like I was somebody who especially towards
the end of my relationship when that's when I started
going to therapy almost like every two days, I was
going like, for okay, you WoT good assurance? Well, no,
I was paying out of pocket from my brain. And
it was really helpful because I was just going to
her with like all of this stuff that I was
trying to sort and she was like you're correct, Like

(01:22:28):
you are correct. And sometimes when you can't write the ship,
you have no idea where north is for whatever reason,
it's really nice to have somebody that you trust and
that you respect I will say, I think you said
this to me or somebody did that therapy. It's like
therapy is for everyone, but the barrier for entry is
finding a therapist that you respect, that you fuck with.
And I found one, and I could not have done
that period of my life with that one.

Speaker 1 (01:22:48):
Well, you know, this is an interesting way to think
about it. It's like when you're talking to your friends
about what you're going through, like it's you and the conversation, sure,
and you're talking about you, but also they're receiving it
as a friend, and so they are gonna filter it
in a certain way. They're gonna filter it through certain
things like how do I respond as a friend? How
do I respond as me who's also gone through something,

(01:23:08):
who's not a therapist. And it's not just my job
to listen, like I can have an opinion on this,
I can have a take. And that means that it's
not always super safe to be talking to your best
friends like this about certain things, especially because you are
by nature of like the fact that you do want
to look a certain way to someone that you care
about and respect. You're filtering with a therapist. You don't

(01:23:31):
have to filter at all.

Speaker 2 (01:23:33):
You can just don't.

Speaker 1 (01:23:34):
You can say whatever the fuck you want to say,
and they have a take on it in the regard
of their thinking about you. Like it really is just
a space to really have a conversation with yourself if
your therapist is worth their salt, and they can sort
it out what you're saying and they can spit it
back to you and be like, do you realize this
is something you've said a lot? Do you realize that
this is something? Do you what I'm seeing and picking

(01:23:58):
up on is this like you use this word? Like
I noticed you look this way when you say this.

Speaker 2 (01:24:04):
Shout out to Lydia my therapist.

Speaker 3 (01:24:06):
Mind's Maria, Stacy Lydia, Yeah, Maria, Maria.

Speaker 1 (01:24:10):
Honestly, those are all really good therapist names.

Speaker 3 (01:24:12):
Yeah, she looks like Marisa. Tell me she's really nice.
I completely agree. She was like, I went into therapy
to talk about like my career, some things that were
going on with like my personal career life, and she
was like, all you talk about is your relationship. I
just want you to know we've had eight sessions. We
have not discussed anything you're working on. All we discuss
is your relationship. And it was that click moment where
I was like, I keep displacing. I don't want to

(01:24:34):
deal with my relationship, so I keep trying to push
the problem into other places that are less fixable and
that require less of a drastic life change. In that moment,
but when she finally was like, this is the issue
and you've known it since the moment you walked in
the door here, I was like, wow, and that's when
my life changed.

Speaker 1 (01:24:51):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:24:52):
Well, I mean I dated this guy.

Speaker 3 (01:24:54):
I'm being vulnerable.

Speaker 2 (01:24:55):
Yes, I dated this.

Speaker 4 (01:24:56):
Guy who needed therapy, and I would tell him he
needed to go and he refused go. And finally it
was like, well, you know, it's not my job to
fix you. I'm not here to do that. I'm not
getting paid to do this. And so we stopped talking
and he texted me recently and was like, I just
wanted to let you know that I have my fifth
therapy session tomorrow and thank you for always encouraging me

(01:25:17):
to go.

Speaker 2 (01:25:17):
And it was like, it's about time.

Speaker 1 (01:25:20):
It's such a game changer.

Speaker 2 (01:25:22):
Fortunately you're still dead to me.

Speaker 3 (01:25:23):
But I was gonna say, is he fine, Like he
listened to you, that's really me, So Bruce, just like, wow,
he listened to you, and he made he took action,
actually did he did.

Speaker 2 (01:25:33):
Something so amazing it took him two years.

Speaker 1 (01:25:36):
Oh my god, I need doesn't Doesn't it suck though?
When they become the better version of themselves after.

Speaker 3 (01:25:42):
Oh, I don't know what that's like.

Speaker 2 (01:25:45):
Yeah, allegedly, I mean he could still be you.

Speaker 3 (01:25:47):
Know, I don't keep up with the Kardashians as far
as my ex goes. But it's actually what to me,
the harder part is watching them remain the same, or
watching them just stick their heels into the ground and
be that person that you were hoping the whole time
they weren't. Especially when it was all coming down, it
was like I just kept feeling like, hmmm, this can't
be it. And when it remains that way years later,

(01:26:09):
it's like you just be like whoa.

Speaker 1 (01:26:10):
Yeah, you know, it's like I was showing Dave Vanderpump
rules and it was just like something that like Arianomatic
said about after all that was she was like, you know,
she was answering actually a question on Watch What Happens Live,
and the question was, how do you deal with the
fact that this person, even though they did something terrible,

(01:26:32):
was someone that you loved for like nine years, eight years,
however long they were together, and the answer was, well,
you just realize they were not actually that person. And
this is what I'm saying is it's like, this is
what's scary about dating, is like you can pretend you
know someone else, but you don't. You cannot be in
their head. And that's where dating is really scary. It's

(01:26:55):
like you were literally putting yourself out there, especially as
people who were obviously interest in this topic, like the
three of us sitting here because here we are, like
here you guys are with this show. It's something you're
actively engaging in all the time, which means that we
are trying to figure out and wrap our heads around
it for ourselves. Probably if you actually were to answer
the deep question, yeah sure. And that is what makes

(01:27:15):
it so difficult is because baseline, it's fucking scary because
it is the unknown. Other people are always going to
be the unknown. Even when you think you know every
single fucking thing, you literally can't. And that is what's
so scary. And that's I think.

Speaker 3 (01:27:32):
Yeah, you have to take people's word for it, you
have to believe them for what they say. It's having faith,
it's having faith and when you're coming back from a
massive trust break. It's like, when you go into these things,
it's like, how do you believe somebody? How do you
believe what they're telling you and what they're presenting to
you is not some especially with our generation, not some
manufactured sort of curated persona that they think is going

(01:27:53):
to get you.

Speaker 1 (01:27:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:27:54):
I think you have to go into it believing what
they're saying, unless it feels like they're I don't want
to date somebody and be like everything they say is
false or fake, yeah or not real. You have to
believe them to a point, and you have to believe
also what they're doing, not just what they're saying.

Speaker 3 (01:28:10):
Yeah, I just gonna follow your I mean, I said
at the beginning of the podcast, follow your gut, and
your gut always knows sure.

Speaker 4 (01:28:15):
I've watched multiple episodes of Lonoda SVU where the girl
is like, she doesn't want to hold the elevator, but
she holds it, and now she did, and it's like, now, girl,
you should have just leaned on that button because your
gut told you to lean on that.

Speaker 1 (01:28:27):
Go with your gut always because you could be dead,
because you could culture. I found rule of culture five thousand,
lean on that button because you should get dead, and
I'm gonna put in parentheses elevator, elevator.

Speaker 3 (01:28:40):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:28:49):
Speaking of rule culture and things that happen on this podcast,
we're now going to do I don't think so, honey.
This is the one minute segment that we take to
rant against something in pop culture that we absolutely m
mmmmmmm don't think so, honey. I am gonna go first,
because that's traditionally what happens. I'm gonna ask Dave, my sister,
to time me and call out at thirty fifteen and
five seconds left, Gorge, I'm ready.

Speaker 3 (01:29:10):
Your time starts now.

Speaker 1 (01:29:11):
I don't think so, honey. Threads okay. I understand us
moving away and wanting to replace Twitter. I just feel
uneasy because while it took Twitter a long time to
become a healscape, it did become a healthscape. Why because
you were giving people carte blanche a place to put
any old opinion. Of course, we want to be able
to engage you these other on social media. But suddenly

(01:29:32):
there's this like prevailing thought that like Threads is like
a healthier Twitter. I'm like, yeah, for now, Like I'm
almost like stop talking about it then, because then the
unhealthy people are gonna hear about it, and they're gonna
here the threads and they're gonna fucking ruin it. And
now I already hear about people starting to be me
and on threads, and I'm like, well, what did you think?
It was the same setup as Twitter, which became shitty,
Threads is gonna become shitty. I don't know if you've

(01:29:52):
seen an Instagram, Like we're all talking about Instagram like
it's fucking heaven and and Twitter is hell.

Speaker 2 (01:29:57):
It's not in dat.

Speaker 1 (01:29:58):
People fucking crazy too. Why wouldn't I strive people crazy?
I'm waiting to join threads because I also heard I
don't think so honey, that if you join threads and
then you want to delete threads, you have to delete
your Instagram. I don't think, so honey, of this trap
is what I did hear about that. I didn't click
the article because it can't be real. I heard that
if you get threads, the only way to not get

(01:30:19):
threads is to delete your Instagram. That's what I heard.

Speaker 2 (01:30:23):
Oh, I don't think, so honey.

Speaker 1 (01:30:24):
I don't think so honey. And I just feel like,
you know, my thing is like, yeah, okay, I get it,
Like Twitter's done, Like it feels like it's officially kind
of done, especially with the Twitter limits. Whatever the fuck
is going on?

Speaker 3 (01:30:34):
Yeah, Like I'm reading tweets.

Speaker 1 (01:30:35):
I don't even My thing is like the move to
threads so quickly, it just means it's going to become
Twitter faster.

Speaker 2 (01:30:41):
That's one hundred percent what it is. Yeah, I mean
I haven't.

Speaker 4 (01:30:44):
I literally just heard about threads three days ago, so
you know, I'm not really I guess people don't.

Speaker 3 (01:30:49):
I'm on it.

Speaker 1 (01:30:50):
What's the vibe?

Speaker 3 (01:30:51):
The vibe is like no one's around yet clean Twitter,
like let's just do whatever. But there's bots on there already,
and no one really knows how to use it. It's
just the thing of every platform. It is the same,
like what photos do I put here? What is my
persona on this corner of the internet? And most people
are just going slut with it, myself included.

Speaker 4 (01:31:05):
Honestly, I don't care as.

Speaker 3 (01:31:08):
Like toying around with it. I think I'm gonna I
don't really use Twitter. I never really liked tweeting. It
just felt like really contrived, and also I felt like
I was writing jokes that I really liked, and rather
than give them out into the universe, I was like,
let me write these down and put them into my
work instead of just blasting them out into the internet
for no reason.

Speaker 4 (01:31:23):
I use Twitter just to read what other people are saying,
and like it'smportant for people, look do my likes.

Speaker 1 (01:31:29):
I mean, I use the Lost Culturista's Twitter with bow
and we kind of share it. We don't have our
own personal twitters, and it's kind of just like a
retweet fest. We're not really tweeting on there. And most
of the time if I am tweeting, it's like I
have to be conscious of the fact that I'm also
speaking from Bowen and I and like he'll sometimes tweet
from the account, and I'm like sometimes I'm like, maybe
it would be helpful to have our own twitters, just

(01:31:50):
because we do have two very different voices, even though
we like both have the podcast, So it really just
becomes a retweet fest in neither of us really tweet
unless we both have some really good but usually if
it's about video games, Bohen has said it, yeah, that
makes sense, And if it's some dumb bullshit that's like
broken English, it's probably me. Yeah, I think your readers know. Yeah, okay,

(01:32:11):
so Dave Mazzoni also do I don't think so, honey. Yeah, sure,
this is Dave's I don't think so honey. His time
starts now.

Speaker 3 (01:32:17):
I don't think so honey. Instagram Meta jail that I
am currently in and I have been in for the
past six months. I don't think so, honey. Instagram flagging
a post that I put on my close friends that
was a very vulnerable photo of my friend Corey naked
in two thousand and nine, a nineteen year old, which
I captioned underage twink for sale. The AI bot has

(01:32:38):
now put me into a folder of sex traffickers on Meta,
and now my content is unable to be shared. I
cannot monetize all because my friend Corey, he was on
my close friends and it is ruining my life.

Speaker 1 (01:32:50):
You shouldn't have an Instagram jail. You should always use.

Speaker 3 (01:32:53):
Human people to assess posts before you just group me
in with a bunch of people who are stopping my
content from reaching the masses. I could be bigger than
Anthony by now, but instance I'm in jail. I have
sucked dick to try to get out of here, only
to find out that this person's sister, who works at
Meta is on vacation in Turks and Kinkos with severance
because she got fiens.

Speaker 1 (01:33:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:33:12):
I've done a lot of things to try to get
out of here, and honestly, I'm tired of asking people
if they work at Meta. But please get in my
DMS if you do, because I don't think so. Honey.

Speaker 1 (01:33:18):
Instagram jail and that's one minute. So you put up
a photo of Corey who was nineteen at the time,
when he was just posing a little kid in this
little like phase, and you labeled it underage twink.

Speaker 3 (01:33:30):
For something my close friends, which I thought was a
safe space. I thought it was a private place for
me in three hundred and fifty gay men across this
country to share information, and yet I have been completely banned.
Can ben sent emails that I'm on my last leg,
can't change my passwords, can't do I'm like, if my
phone is lost, Instagram has lost me forever.

Speaker 1 (01:33:49):
I literally you know what I'm saying. I'm very sorry
that this is happening to you, but at least you
know that if there are people who are trying to
do crazy shit on Instagram that at least they're on it.

Speaker 3 (01:33:59):
I mean, I guess, but like he's like.

Speaker 1 (01:34:02):
I want to be bigger than Antony, but like.

Speaker 3 (01:34:04):
Come on, like I have content. I want to release readers.
If you work at Metta, just like, just flick the switch.
I swear to God. Dave swears he'll never traffic again.
I swear to God. My friend Corey is safe in Astoria.
He's probably reading right now. He's totally fine. God damn it.

Speaker 1 (01:34:18):
I'm crying. Well, okay, so Meta and Instagram please help Dave.

Speaker 3 (01:34:23):
Yeah, like, let us out of threads and let me
out of jail.

Speaker 1 (01:34:26):
We need to see that cooking that is happening.

Speaker 3 (01:34:29):
Yeah, there's a lot going on.

Speaker 1 (01:34:30):
There's a lot going on that we could be having. Hey,
Marie Fauston and you're ready for out of think so honey,
I'm ready. This is your I don't think so, honey.
Marie's time starts now.

Speaker 2 (01:34:38):
I don't think so, honey.

Speaker 4 (01:34:39):
Flying coach, okay, coach is a scam. Everybody should fly
first class. I flew first class for the first time
last week, and beach, my life has been changed.

Speaker 2 (01:34:51):
The whole plane should.

Speaker 4 (01:34:52):
Be first class, and first class seats should be first
or class. Okay, if you have a jacket in first class,
they hang it up for you. Coach, they throw it
out the tiny window. They don't even wake you up
when that little golf cart comes by in coach because
they don't want to feed you that little bagg of
chips that keeps shrinking every year. Oh I agree, there

(01:35:12):
small in first class. That gave me a real fourth,
a real spoon. They gave me a tablecloth to put
on my table. I said, beach Chip, this is nicer
than my home. First class should be for everybody. And
I truly feel like if you make us black coach,
it's because you hate us.

Speaker 2 (01:35:26):
I am trying to live.

Speaker 4 (01:35:28):
My best black bougie life and being in coach is
just like riding a bus with an ugly child kicking
the back of your seat while you're trying to watch Coco.

Speaker 1 (01:35:38):
Okay, but one minute, I will say, ever since I
have a little bit of money now and since the
beginning of this podcast, I did not have any money,
and I always roughed it like I broke.

Speaker 3 (01:35:48):
It's such a fun Mat.

Speaker 1 (01:35:50):
Broke, Matt was me, Matt Mountain, Yes broke, Matt Mountain.
And now yes so now so now I have a
little bit of money, and one of the things that
I treat myself on is when I fly. I do
fly first class and the difference is so crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:36:12):
Astounding me sitting back and being like, well, okay, I
was in the exit row on my way here, and
I thought to myself, Wow, comefu, this is nice.

Speaker 4 (01:36:19):
Meant going back to the coach after flying first class.

Speaker 2 (01:36:21):
I flew coach to LA and I was like.

Speaker 3 (01:36:23):
Yeah, what is I don't think so honey, going backwards.
So I guess what we're saying here is if you've
never flown first class and it's really not there, just
stay where you are. Don't let them upgrade you because
you'll it'll just be very hard.

Speaker 2 (01:36:34):
To come out with your mind.

Speaker 1 (01:36:35):
Well, I guess that depends on the airline.

Speaker 2 (01:36:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:36:36):
Also, I have AirPod boxes and those things. I mean,
like a bomb could go off and I'm listening to
Kelly Clarkson.

Speaker 1 (01:36:42):
I'm on the top of the mountain.

Speaker 2 (01:36:43):
No bombs on my plane, no snakes on my plane,
no bags.

Speaker 1 (01:36:47):
On my listen. All I'm saying is it's like when
you get that little extra check, how do you treat yourself?
It's that one area of life where you're like, I'm
choosing to indulge in this area. For me, that's travel.

Speaker 2 (01:36:59):
Yeah, that that is.

Speaker 1 (01:37:00):
I don't want a situation where I'm traveling uncomfortably. That's
just for me. So I will spend more money doing
that than I will on like food. I don't really
buy groceries. It's just like all these other things, like
but travel, I don't fuck around with travel. You also
drop money on Broadway. You're keeping Broadway alive. Travel, vacation.

(01:37:21):
I mean when it comes to the economy, I'm a
major helper when it comes to traveling and vacation wise.

Speaker 3 (01:37:26):
He redistributes that wealth. It goes right back into the economy.

Speaker 1 (01:37:30):
Here take it here, call me the eras tour have it.

Speaker 3 (01:37:33):
Mulan Rouge Broadway, Oh my god, take this Chicago again.

Speaker 1 (01:37:39):
One of my great regrets is I haven't been able
to go see Jojo and Rue Jojo and Mulan Ruge.

Speaker 3 (01:37:44):
How dare I pick the show that you haven't?

Speaker 1 (01:37:47):
Yes, yes, right now? Talk about another bop and a half.
But apparently she's like playing Satina and killing it. You
know who, just want to go see the show, Luke Marinkovich,
because you know who's the male lead of the.

Speaker 3 (01:37:59):
Show was Derek Cla Yes, yes, yes, yes, I know this, this.

Speaker 1 (01:38:02):
Hot Broadway star who Dave and I years ago did
a paintball gun bachelor party with.

Speaker 3 (01:38:08):
We went to we played paintball for like four hours
in Pennsylvania, out in the woods. It was actually really fun.
In the face it was no, you didn't shoo me
in the face.

Speaker 1 (01:38:16):
You shot me in the ass, a bruised ass, and
not in a good way.

Speaker 2 (01:38:21):
I too confused his ass with his face.

Speaker 1 (01:38:23):
No, but it was like it was like half gay
men and half straight men, like all playing paintball together.
But the straight men were like Broadway straights. So it's
that like sort of frustrating hot straight man that's like
down to hang with the gays. No, but they're not.
And so this guy, I remember, Derek, We thought he
was so hot. He like changed his shirt in front
of us, and Dave and I were like teen girls.

Speaker 3 (01:38:42):
Really he he wasn't. Still is one of the most
beautiful men and also gorgeously tough, and he's.

Speaker 1 (01:38:49):
So talented and right now he is starring opposite Jojo
Joanna Levesque in the.

Speaker 3 (01:38:57):
Second time after this. I would love to do you
have a number?

Speaker 2 (01:39:00):
What?

Speaker 3 (01:39:00):
Yeah, I mean we went on a girl. I get
the numbers quick.

Speaker 1 (01:39:04):
Dave always gets numbers and he's also you connect with
straight man.

Speaker 2 (01:39:07):
I do.

Speaker 3 (01:39:08):
I do if I can access them. It's like a
big turn on for me. I'm like, I don't know,
it's like this weird part of me for my past.
It's like, yes, you can pass. And that's why I'm
gonna go back to therapy right after this. I'm gonna
call Maria.

Speaker 2 (01:39:20):
Right after this break, We're gonna go call Maria.

Speaker 3 (01:39:22):
This is really fun.

Speaker 2 (01:39:23):
Girl.

Speaker 3 (01:39:23):
I missed Bell, but I'm glad to have you.

Speaker 1 (01:39:25):
I know. I'm thank you guys for coming. Like I said,
why Are You Single? Is a hot show and it's
if you can't see it tonight at the Bell House,
you can see it septembermember And also now they're traveling
coast to coast like it's me for Dick. Yes, and
you want to do festivals show in la You guys
should definitely do it in festivals And.

Speaker 2 (01:39:43):
I want to do it in London. I feel like
the girls will go crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:39:46):
And oh for sure.

Speaker 3 (01:39:47):
And my favorite part of it is just hearing from
all of the people who are submitting themselves like if
if you even if you're curious, like submit the questionnaire,
let us know what date you can do it, and
we would love to have you because getting to know
all the single people all across the country has been
really one of the most fun parts about that.

Speaker 2 (01:40:01):
And we read all the applications and I'm telling.

Speaker 4 (01:40:03):
You, reading them is like, wow, it's not just me, No,
she's just like me.

Speaker 1 (01:40:09):
I mean even we were looking the other day, like
at a couple of the answers, like I was there,
Dave was reading me a couple of them, and it
was just like I had to grab my heart because
I was like, oh my god, people are so genuine
and sweet when they fill it out. And I just
think it's a really great show. It's very positive, but
also you drag each other and we know a little
bit of something about that on this show. So absolutely

(01:40:31):
I wanted to what did you call it? A signal boost?
This is a great show Why Are You Single? And
my guests were Dave Mazzoni and Marie faust In two
Legends and had a lot of fun.

Speaker 3 (01:40:42):
I might come back to this town.

Speaker 1 (01:40:43):
Yeah, you might come back to this town. It's pretty
fun and We actually are going to end every episode
the same way we do with a song, and it's
going to be a reprise or something we sang earlier.
When you feeling it.

Speaker 2 (01:40:57):
Got it good, you don't like used to.

Speaker 1 (01:41:03):
Let it burn, Let it you know it's bad for you.

Speaker 4 (01:41:11):
He thought of it being with someone that says, you
know that it's over, let it burn.

Speaker 1 (01:41:22):
So listen if you want more of Bird, listening to
Usher's confessions and d m us would let that one
lyric g is none of us, the lost lyric. Okay, bye,