May 31, 2024 • 20 mins
For many Americans, being able to move out of your parents house and being financially independent is a huge accomplishment. As first generation American Latinas, that was not so much the case. In this episode Tani Estefy and Lily B share how moving out strengthened their relationship with their parents while also sharing the cultural struggles that came with that independence.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh Las almost Latina Proof And we're your hosts Stanni
Steffi and Lily B.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
And this podcast is dedicated to our bilingual Latinas who
are resilient Eleianganas and for.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
The Latinas that resonate with the phrase zoya kida yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Join us on this journey every week where we engage
in relatable conversations.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Share uplifting stories and empowering insights from everything that is
Latin up rude.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
How are you doing, Lily, I'm doing great. I'm doing great.
I was just you know, telling you right before we
joined that I got my nails done, got my eyebrows done.
So I'm just like, you know, when you do those
self care things for yourself, I'm just feeling good about myself.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Love it, love it. It's always important and I love
to hear it too. And we have to take care
of ourselves, Like why not. It should be a priority.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Exactly, just like lifts your spirits and you're just like
in a good mood. That's all all the talk, really,
you know, I was, you know, feeling down, and I
guess all it took was for me to get my
nails done right.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Sometimes it makes a difference I'm actually going to get
them done later this evening, so I am excited. I
think I'm gonna go for a frenchchi look love it.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Can't wait to see it.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Yes, yes, so thank you for listening to this episode.
This episode is going to focus on how moving out
of your parents' house as a Latino and as a
Latina can straight it can strengthen your relationship with them, right.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Yes, exactly. I'm really excited to be talking about this
because I know as Latinos Latinas like, it's kind of been,
you know, a little tough, especially as I can say
as a Latina first gen and like eldest daughter, moving
out of your parents' house was a little difficult. So
(01:52):
excited to kind of go through, go through how moving
out has strengthened our relationships and also maybe some challenges
that we face along the way while while we did so.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yes, no, it's a great point because moving out of
your parents as a Latino or as lat especially as
a Latina right where you're taught to believe that you
can move out until you get married and then those
are the traditions, those are the mindsets, so it could
be very very challenging.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah, exactly. So I'm excited to share some of these examples.
And these examples are really going to illustrate how moving
out of your parents' house as and can contribute to
a healthier, more mature, and mutually fulfilling relationship with them.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Love it, love it. Let's dive into it.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Let's get into it. So, the first example of how
moving out of your parents how to strengthen your relationship
with them is gaining independence. Right, So, for me, moving
out allowed me to become more independent and self sufficient
(03:06):
or at least I like to think so, right, which
has led to a more mature and respectful relationship with
my parents. And I can say that at the beginning,
they were very very against me moving out. And I'm
talking about moving out like early twenties, right, like right
out out of college, and they like didn't really understand
(03:29):
why I would. Like to them, it was like a
waste of money for me to leave the house, Like
why would you do that? But you know, gaining that independence,
I've learned to not really rely on them on you know,
the simple every day, every day needs. But don't get
(03:53):
me wrong, even as a girl who had that's not
living with them anymore. I still call you know, I
still call them for a little things advice, and.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, no, I totally totally hear you and can definitely
relate to you. Because moving out for me, I moved
out so I towards my late twenties and mid to
late twenties, and it was really really hard first of
all to take that step and to tell them, like
to actually get the courage to say to tell them, hey,
(04:26):
I'm going to move out, And for me, I just
like I needed that sense of independence. I was ready.
I just wanted my own space. And I remember actually
going to see the apartment by myself, putting in the
deposit by myself, like I just already knew. I'm like,
(04:48):
it's time to do it. And although I was still
going to be in the La County, I moved to
downtown LA and it was still fairly close to my parents.
So I I had to build the courage to tell them, Hey,
I'm going to move out, and they could they didn't understand,
like why, like why would you do that? Why would
(05:08):
you go waste your money? Like aren't you happy here?
Like it was so it was such a confusion for them.
And then I'm like, well it is closer to my job.
LA traffic, as you may know, is insane. So I
did it for two reasons. One I wanted to get
that sense of independence, and two I just needed to
(05:29):
be closer to work because that drive LA drives you
needed to kind of a no were and a half.
I had to just get to work, you know, so
I just couldn't do the traffic anymore. And for me,
it made sense and I was really excited. But for them,
they were like, there's so many people that travel to work,
Like what's your problem, Like, yeah, you're waste the money. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
And I feel like Latino parents sometimes take independence differently, right,
so they don't I think they view like, oh, like
get us a look at or you know what I mean, Like, oh,
they don't see independence of how we see independence, Like
we see independence is like trying to take care of ourselves,
trying to learn these skills, you know, by ourselves, held ourselves,
(06:14):
hold ourselves accountable for, you know, paying rent and doing
these things right. But I feel like they they see
things differently.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Yes, and you know that comes with the collective culture
that mainly is in Latin America. So it's more like
they're used to doing things together right, more of like
the collective mindset in the US. As Americans, it's more individualistic.
So I think that's where that disconnect happens and with us,
(06:43):
and I think you might be able to relate to
this lily where it's like you feel a sense of
guilt right, right, because you're living in these two worlds,
being bi cultural and being bilingual. And it's like that
affects because you have the guilt of a collective family
that does everything together, but then you also have this
American mindset of being individualistic in a sense. So it's
(07:08):
like you battle with those two things. And I know
I feel guilty moving out and I'm like, are they
right or are they wrong? But no, this feels right
for me. So it's just one of those things, you know.
And and I feel a lot of other Latinas can
probably resonate with that.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah, exactly. No, I've known a lot of you know,
Latina friends who moved out later, like like later in life,
and even then it was still tough, like They'm not
understanding and it has been like an uphill battle with that.
But I'm glad we stuck to our guns.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Right, Yeah, And I think it's healthy and I think
it's a healthy decision. But you know, with that also
comes establishing boundaries, right, And something that I've learned, it's
okay to fablish healthy boundaries even with your parents. And
as a Latina, it's hard to do that, right because
(08:07):
we're taught that parents are always right, and of course
there's not always that level of respect, and I think
respect should always be there and it has you know,
it shouldn't intervene with your boundaries. I think as long
as you're being respectful across the board, respect first. But
(08:29):
I think as a Latino you're taught to not have
boundaries basically, right, and then it's like boundaries, like how
can I say this? Wait, there are no boundaries, you know.
So I think establishing boundaries can be really healthy. And
also understanding your parents' boundaries as well, right, like what
(08:51):
are their boundaries, what makes them happy? What are they
comfortable with? So I think that's really important as well,
when you're taking that step to help prevent any conflicts
and any misunderstandings and that open line of communication, I
think it's really important.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, And I think that by not living at your parents' house,
you kind of start to see that there's less conflicts
because you're not together, right, and establish some boundaries. So
like when you do see each other, it's just like
a good feeling and it's good to reconnect.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Yes, And you know what, it's interesting because when you
said it avoids problems, right, So one of the problems,
it's like, hey, you know what, you're young, you're in
your twenties. What if you go out and you party
one night and you end up getting home at three
in the morning. Guess what one of your parents is
probably gonna be up waiting for you, questioning you. Okay,
so guess that's what I say. Go. You know, it's like, God,
(09:57):
if I had a dollar for every time I heard
them growing up. Tany.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I don't know about you, but like when I lived
at my parents' house, my mom, if I went out,
my mom would not go to sleep. She would not
go to sleep, and I would have to go into
her like she would have to see how I came home,
like it was crazy. She'd be like, no, no, the
pus like.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Me girl, Oh my god, my mom too, she will
not sleep. My dad would just pass out sometimes, so sometimes,
but my mom she will stay up waiting for me,
I'm like, don't do that if there's an emergency. I mean,
you'll know if there's an emergency, but stop. And it
was like, girl, it was a battle every day, like
(10:40):
not every day, but every time I would go out,
and you know, I mean it wasn't doing nothing wrong,
but it's just more like yeah, and you know, I
think that comes with boundaries and the sense of freedom
and independence that you want as a as a young Latina.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I think, no, exactly exactly now onto the next example
is how moving out of your parents' house builds mutual respect.
So moving out has fostered a sense of mutual respect
between us and our parents as we navigate adult responsibilities.
(11:24):
I think that they've seen us mature. And I think
it after getting through like all those challenges, right, like
the battle of them not wanting us to move out,
when they see that we're actually doing it and we're
you know, being responsible, I think it also like brings
them pride like.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Oh or in and like.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Them being them seeing that we can make it on
our own, I think has brought them joy too.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yes, I think it's a I think it's a make
sure of those two things. You know, it's like them.
There's there's a sense of respect and there's a sense
of happiness. But I feel like at the end of
the day, I don't I think our parents might just
see us as their little girls. I think for life,
for life, because there are times my mom still worries
(12:19):
at this, like from this, you know, even even now
in this big age of mine, like you still worries.
I'm like, what are you worried about? There's like I'm good,
you know. So I'm like, Mom, you have nothing to
worry about. Like, for example, she'll be like whenever I
(12:44):
go over, I'm like, hi, MoMA. When I would go
visit her, like she'll be like, oh, masal ya, and
I'm like, you know, okay, give for Kimmedy who. So
she's like I know, it's so And I'm like, Mom,
(13:10):
that's cute, but you don't gotta worry, Like I'm fine,
Like I'm fine. Like the last thing I would want
is for her to worry, you know. So she feels better.
I joke with her and just tell her and then
she'll be like, yes, that's when I'm the happiest.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
That's so sweet and honestly, like my mom is the
same way like she's at peace. When we're all at
the house and it's like, I say, over a night
or something, Yeah, she's just like she's just so happy
and she feels the same way. And if I do
stay over one night and I end up going out,
it's like I never left. She's still texting me like, oh,
(13:51):
I'm like, I don't even live here.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Yes, you know what. And it goes back to I'm
sure your mom says this too, or you've heard it.
You know, maybe one day we will know what that
feeling is whenever appearance.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Yep, no, if I had a penny, a nickel, a
dime for every time I've heard that there's a millionaire
millonaires right now.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Okay, so now on to the next example. How moving
out can really create that stronger bond between them visiting
your home, you visiting them. I feel like living apart
is healthy, living a part can be healthy. And sure
(14:43):
you'll miss your your parents and they'll miss you, but
I think when you do visit each other, it creates
a sense of, you know, more appreciation. I think because
you miss them, you create these closer bonds at least
that you know that happened with me that I actually
(15:05):
I am missing my parents now. They were just over last weekend,
but now I feel like, oh, I want to see
them again, you know, and I'll see them the following weekend.
So either I'll go, I'll go to their house or
they'll come to mind and vice versa. Like we're seeing
each other every two weeks. We're talking every day, even
if it's like a quick phone call, text message. So
(15:27):
there is that close connection with both of my parents
that I think has made a difference ever since I
moved away, and we're actually better, no conflict at all,
actually less conflict to no conflict, and it's more positive vibes,
more of like making plans. What are we gonna do,
even if it's like watching a movie in the living room.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah, I want to ask you, do you like to
host them? Like when they come over to visit you,
do you like do you get all rid? Do you
have snacks?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Like?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
What is that like? The question?
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Love it? Yes, I love to host them. I love
to have like their favorite snacks like fan fandulce or
you know, things that they like. But I can tell
you right now that you asked me that question. I
always make sure that my house is super clean when
they come over, because I know they're gonna say something
because their house is always like clean and tidy. So
(16:27):
whenever they come like this last weekend that they came
over to visit, the first thing my mom said when
when she walked in, She's like, I felicie honest. I'm
like this.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Morning, that's no Mommy that I'm here thinking.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Like, don't walk into my closet cause you grun out
there running.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Don't look under my bed.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Exactly exactly, so she was all proud. I I'm like,
if you only knew, I almost pulled my back right now.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
No, It's so funny, like every time I go to
my parents, my mom like cleans the house like three
times a day.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Right, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Right, I'm like once a week.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
If anything.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah, no, but no, same whenever they come over to
my place, I'm like, first things first, everything has to
be spotless.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Yes, yes, no, for sure. Isn't it funny? It's like
you get like it's just like, is why are you surprised?
Did you think otherwise?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yes? And to conclude this episode, really want to wrap
this up with the last example is how moving out
of your parents hows can foster appreciation, right, you know,
kind of how we've been talking throughout this episode distance
Foster's appreciation. You know, being away from your parents has
(18:16):
helped appreciate their presence, their guidance, their support. I know
it also kind of makes you realize to the sacrifices
that they've had to make as they've taken care of you.
So yeah, it really does bring that realization of appreciation.
(18:39):
And I think at least for me, I've definitely grown
to appreciate my parents so much, so much more.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yes, absolutely, one hundred percent. I think it's really important
to appreciate your parents, you know, especially like children of immigrants.
We're children of immigrants, and I know if you're listening,
you're probably a child of immigrants as well. And it's
really important to appreciate our parents hard work and sacrifice
because if it weren't for their decisions once, one we
(19:09):
wouldn't be here, and two we wouldn't have the independence
or freedom that that we do have now. So really
important to appreciate always and as always be grateful, be
grateful for everything that you do have, and be grateful
to yourself for everything that you have accomplished.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Exactly and give yourself and your parents' grace. Like I
know sometimes they can come across a little harsh at times,
but I think they're trying their best, especially being immigrants
and trying to adjust to the cultural norms of you know,
the US with and trying to maintain like their traditional values.
(19:53):
It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work.
So they're just trying their best. So yeah, give them
some grace and you know, be grateful, like Tony.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Said, yes, and you know, with that, I'd like to
finish with a quote that I remember I saw that said,
just remember this is the first time your parents are
being parents. So there was there was the first time
when they became parents, especially if you're the firstborn or
(20:24):
even the first girl in the in the in the family,
in the immediate family. So yeah, just remember this is
like their first time being parents of an adult person, right,
So gratitude and appreciation. Thank you all so much for listening.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Thank you so much for listening. Please subscribe to this
podcast and if you don't already, follow us on Instagram
on all social media at Latina Approved.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Bye.
Oh Las almost Latina Proof And we're your hosts Stanni
Steffi and Lily B.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
And this podcast is dedicated to our bilingual Latinas who
are resilient Eleianganas and for.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
The Latinas that resonate with the phrase zoya kida yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Join us on this journey every week where we engage
in relatable conversations.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Share uplifting stories and empowering insights from everything that is
Latin up rude.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
How are you doing, Lily, I'm doing great. I'm doing great.
I was just you know, telling you right before we
joined that I got my nails done, got my eyebrows done.
So I'm just like, you know, when you do those
self care things for yourself, I'm just feeling good about myself.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Love it, love it. It's always important and I love
to hear it too. And we have to take care
of ourselves, Like why not. It should be a priority.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Exactly, just like lifts your spirits and you're just like
in a good mood. That's all all the talk, really,
you know, I was, you know, feeling down, and I
guess all it took was for me to get my
nails done right.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Sometimes it makes a difference I'm actually going to get
them done later this evening, so I am excited. I
think I'm gonna go for a frenchchi look love it.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Can't wait to see it.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Yes, yes, so thank you for listening to this episode.
This episode is going to focus on how moving out
of your parents' house as a Latino and as a
Latina can straight it can strengthen your relationship with them, right.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Yes, exactly. I'm really excited to be talking about this
because I know as Latinos Latinas like, it's kind of been,
you know, a little tough, especially as I can say
as a Latina first gen and like eldest daughter, moving
out of your parents' house was a little difficult. So
(01:52):
excited to kind of go through, go through how moving
out has strengthened our relationships and also maybe some challenges
that we face along the way while while we did so.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yes, no, it's a great point because moving out of
your parents as a Latino or as lat especially as
a Latina right where you're taught to believe that you
can move out until you get married and then those
are the traditions, those are the mindsets, so it could
be very very challenging.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah, exactly. So I'm excited to share some of these examples.
And these examples are really going to illustrate how moving
out of your parents' house as and can contribute to
a healthier, more mature, and mutually fulfilling relationship with them.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Love it, love it. Let's dive into it.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Let's get into it. So, the first example of how
moving out of your parents how to strengthen your relationship
with them is gaining independence. Right, So, for me, moving
out allowed me to become more independent and self sufficient
(03:06):
or at least I like to think so, right, which
has led to a more mature and respectful relationship with
my parents. And I can say that at the beginning,
they were very very against me moving out. And I'm
talking about moving out like early twenties, right, like right
out out of college, and they like didn't really understand
(03:29):
why I would. Like to them, it was like a
waste of money for me to leave the house, Like
why would you do that? But you know, gaining that independence,
I've learned to not really rely on them on you know,
the simple every day, every day needs. But don't get
(03:53):
me wrong, even as a girl who had that's not
living with them anymore. I still call you know, I
still call them for a little things advice, and.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, no, I totally totally hear you and can definitely
relate to you. Because moving out for me, I moved
out so I towards my late twenties and mid to
late twenties, and it was really really hard first of
all to take that step and to tell them, like
to actually get the courage to say to tell them, hey,
(04:26):
I'm going to move out, And for me, I just
like I needed that sense of independence. I was ready.
I just wanted my own space. And I remember actually
going to see the apartment by myself, putting in the
deposit by myself, like I just already knew. I'm like,
(04:48):
it's time to do it. And although I was still
going to be in the La County, I moved to
downtown LA and it was still fairly close to my parents.
So I I had to build the courage to tell them, Hey,
I'm going to move out, and they could they didn't understand,
like why, like why would you do that? Why would
(05:08):
you go waste your money? Like aren't you happy here?
Like it was so it was such a confusion for them.
And then I'm like, well it is closer to my job.
LA traffic, as you may know, is insane. So I
did it for two reasons. One I wanted to get
that sense of independence, and two I just needed to
(05:29):
be closer to work because that drive LA drives you
needed to kind of a no were and a half.
I had to just get to work, you know, so
I just couldn't do the traffic anymore. And for me,
it made sense and I was really excited. But for them,
they were like, there's so many people that travel to work,
Like what's your problem, Like, yeah, you're waste the money. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
And I feel like Latino parents sometimes take independence differently, right,
so they don't I think they view like, oh, like
get us a look at or you know what I mean, Like, oh,
they don't see independence of how we see independence, Like
we see independence is like trying to take care of ourselves,
trying to learn these skills, you know, by ourselves, held ourselves,
(06:14):
hold ourselves accountable for, you know, paying rent and doing
these things right. But I feel like they they see
things differently.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Yes, and you know that comes with the collective culture
that mainly is in Latin America. So it's more like
they're used to doing things together right, more of like
the collective mindset in the US. As Americans, it's more individualistic.
So I think that's where that disconnect happens and with us,
(06:43):
and I think you might be able to relate to
this lily where it's like you feel a sense of
guilt right, right, because you're living in these two worlds,
being bi cultural and being bilingual. And it's like that
affects because you have the guilt of a collective family
that does everything together, but then you also have this
American mindset of being individualistic in a sense. So it's
(07:08):
like you battle with those two things. And I know
I feel guilty moving out and I'm like, are they
right or are they wrong? But no, this feels right
for me. So it's just one of those things, you know.
And and I feel a lot of other Latinas can
probably resonate with that.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah, exactly. No, I've known a lot of you know,
Latina friends who moved out later, like like later in life,
and even then it was still tough, like They'm not
understanding and it has been like an uphill battle with that.
But I'm glad we stuck to our guns.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Right, Yeah, And I think it's healthy and I think
it's a healthy decision. But you know, with that also
comes establishing boundaries, right, And something that I've learned, it's
okay to fablish healthy boundaries even with your parents. And
as a Latina, it's hard to do that, right because
(08:07):
we're taught that parents are always right, and of course
there's not always that level of respect, and I think
respect should always be there and it has you know,
it shouldn't intervene with your boundaries. I think as long
as you're being respectful across the board, respect first. But
(08:29):
I think as a Latino you're taught to not have
boundaries basically, right, and then it's like boundaries, like how
can I say this? Wait, there are no boundaries, you know.
So I think establishing boundaries can be really healthy. And
also understanding your parents' boundaries as well, right, like what
(08:51):
are their boundaries, what makes them happy? What are they
comfortable with? So I think that's really important as well,
when you're taking that step to help prevent any conflicts
and any misunderstandings and that open line of communication, I
think it's really important.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, And I think that by not living at your parents' house,
you kind of start to see that there's less conflicts
because you're not together, right, and establish some boundaries. So
like when you do see each other, it's just like
a good feeling and it's good to reconnect.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Yes, And you know what, it's interesting because when you
said it avoids problems, right, So one of the problems,
it's like, hey, you know what, you're young, you're in
your twenties. What if you go out and you party
one night and you end up getting home at three
in the morning. Guess what one of your parents is
probably gonna be up waiting for you, questioning you. Okay,
so guess that's what I say. Go. You know, it's like, God,
(09:57):
if I had a dollar for every time I heard
them growing up. Tany.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I don't know about you, but like when I lived
at my parents' house, my mom, if I went out,
my mom would not go to sleep. She would not
go to sleep, and I would have to go into
her like she would have to see how I came home,
like it was crazy. She'd be like, no, no, the
pus like.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Me girl, Oh my god, my mom too, she will
not sleep. My dad would just pass out sometimes, so sometimes,
but my mom she will stay up waiting for me,
I'm like, don't do that if there's an emergency. I mean,
you'll know if there's an emergency, but stop. And it
was like, girl, it was a battle every day, like
(10:40):
not every day, but every time I would go out,
and you know, I mean it wasn't doing nothing wrong,
but it's just more like yeah, and you know, I
think that comes with boundaries and the sense of freedom
and independence that you want as a as a young Latina.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I think, no, exactly exactly now onto the next example
is how moving out of your parents' house builds mutual respect.
So moving out has fostered a sense of mutual respect
between us and our parents as we navigate adult responsibilities.
(11:24):
I think that they've seen us mature. And I think
it after getting through like all those challenges, right, like
the battle of them not wanting us to move out,
when they see that we're actually doing it and we're
you know, being responsible, I think it also like brings
them pride like.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Oh or in and like.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Them being them seeing that we can make it on
our own, I think has brought them joy too.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yes, I think it's a I think it's a make
sure of those two things. You know, it's like them.
There's there's a sense of respect and there's a sense
of happiness. But I feel like at the end of
the day, I don't I think our parents might just
see us as their little girls. I think for life,
for life, because there are times my mom still worries
(12:19):
at this, like from this, you know, even even now
in this big age of mine, like you still worries.
I'm like, what are you worried about? There's like I'm good,
you know. So I'm like, Mom, you have nothing to
worry about. Like, for example, she'll be like whenever I
(12:44):
go over, I'm like, hi, MoMA. When I would go
visit her, like she'll be like, oh, masal ya, and
I'm like, you know, okay, give for Kimmedy who. So
she's like I know, it's so And I'm like, Mom,
(13:10):
that's cute, but you don't gotta worry, Like I'm fine,
Like I'm fine. Like the last thing I would want
is for her to worry, you know. So she feels better.
I joke with her and just tell her and then
she'll be like, yes, that's when I'm the happiest.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
That's so sweet and honestly, like my mom is the
same way like she's at peace. When we're all at
the house and it's like, I say, over a night
or something, Yeah, she's just like she's just so happy
and she feels the same way. And if I do
stay over one night and I end up going out,
it's like I never left. She's still texting me like, oh,
(13:51):
I'm like, I don't even live here.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Yes, you know what. And it goes back to I'm
sure your mom says this too, or you've heard it.
You know, maybe one day we will know what that
feeling is whenever appearance.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Yep, no, if I had a penny, a nickel, a
dime for every time I've heard that there's a millionaire
millonaires right now.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Okay, so now on to the next example. How moving
out can really create that stronger bond between them visiting
your home, you visiting them. I feel like living apart
is healthy, living a part can be healthy. And sure
(14:43):
you'll miss your your parents and they'll miss you, but
I think when you do visit each other, it creates
a sense of, you know, more appreciation. I think because
you miss them, you create these closer bonds at least
that you know that happened with me that I actually
(15:05):
I am missing my parents now. They were just over last weekend,
but now I feel like, oh, I want to see
them again, you know, and I'll see them the following weekend.
So either I'll go, I'll go to their house or
they'll come to mind and vice versa. Like we're seeing
each other every two weeks. We're talking every day, even
if it's like a quick phone call, text message. So
(15:27):
there is that close connection with both of my parents
that I think has made a difference ever since I
moved away, and we're actually better, no conflict at all,
actually less conflict to no conflict, and it's more positive vibes,
more of like making plans. What are we gonna do,
even if it's like watching a movie in the living room.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah, I want to ask you, do you like to
host them? Like when they come over to visit you,
do you like do you get all rid? Do you
have snacks?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Like?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
What is that like? The question?
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Love it? Yes, I love to host them. I love
to have like their favorite snacks like fan fandulce or
you know, things that they like. But I can tell
you right now that you asked me that question. I
always make sure that my house is super clean when
they come over, because I know they're gonna say something
because their house is always like clean and tidy. So
(16:27):
whenever they come like this last weekend that they came
over to visit, the first thing my mom said when
when she walked in, She's like, I felicie honest. I'm
like this.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Morning, that's no Mommy that I'm here thinking.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Like, don't walk into my closet cause you grun out
there running.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Don't look under my bed.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Exactly exactly, so she was all proud. I I'm like,
if you only knew, I almost pulled my back right now.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
No, It's so funny, like every time I go to
my parents, my mom like cleans the house like three
times a day.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Right, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Right, I'm like once a week.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
If anything.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah, no, but no, same whenever they come over to
my place, I'm like, first things first, everything has to
be spotless.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Yes, yes, no, for sure. Isn't it funny? It's like
you get like it's just like, is why are you surprised?
Did you think otherwise?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yes? And to conclude this episode, really want to wrap
this up with the last example is how moving out
of your parents hows can foster appreciation, right, you know,
kind of how we've been talking throughout this episode distance
Foster's appreciation. You know, being away from your parents has
(18:16):
helped appreciate their presence, their guidance, their support. I know
it also kind of makes you realize to the sacrifices
that they've had to make as they've taken care of you.
So yeah, it really does bring that realization of appreciation.
(18:39):
And I think at least for me, I've definitely grown
to appreciate my parents so much, so much more.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yes, absolutely, one hundred percent. I think it's really important
to appreciate your parents, you know, especially like children of immigrants.
We're children of immigrants, and I know if you're listening,
you're probably a child of immigrants as well. And it's
really important to appreciate our parents hard work and sacrifice
because if it weren't for their decisions once, one we
(19:09):
wouldn't be here, and two we wouldn't have the independence
or freedom that that we do have now. So really
important to appreciate always and as always be grateful, be
grateful for everything that you do have, and be grateful
to yourself for everything that you have accomplished.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Exactly and give yourself and your parents' grace. Like I
know sometimes they can come across a little harsh at times,
but I think they're trying their best, especially being immigrants
and trying to adjust to the cultural norms of you know,
the US with and trying to maintain like their traditional values.
(19:53):
It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work.
So they're just trying their best. So yeah, give them
some grace and you know, be grateful, like Tony.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Said, yes, and you know, with that, I'd like to
finish with a quote that I remember I saw that said,
just remember this is the first time your parents are
being parents. So there was there was the first time
when they became parents, especially if you're the firstborn or
(20:24):
even the first girl in the in the in the family,
in the immediate family. So yeah, just remember this is
like their first time being parents of an adult person, right,
So gratitude and appreciation. Thank you all so much for listening.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Thank you so much for listening. Please subscribe to this
podcast and if you don't already, follow us on Instagram
on all social media at Latina Approved.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Bye.
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