BONUS Clip: How To Beat Imposter Syndrome

Dr. Jenny gives advice on how to get over your perfectionism and/or imposter syndrome, as well as sheds some insight on why these feelings may arise.

Learn more about Dr. Jenny: jennywangphd.com 

Hosts Information:

Cara Pressley

@thecareercheerleader Cara’s Instagram

@TheCareerCheerleader Cara’s Facebook

@the1cheering4U Cara’s Twitter

@FeelinSuccessful Cara’s TikTok

Cara’s Website

Tracy T. Rowe

@tracytrowe Tracy’s Instagram

@troweandco Tracy’s Facebook

@tracytrowe Tracy’s Twitter

@tracytrowe Tracy’s TikTok

Tracy’s Website

----

#LRTT

Listening and loving the show? Please be sure to rate and review.

Have a question you want us to discuss on Let’s Red Table That? Email us at:

[e-mail]

-----

LET’S RED TABLE THAT is produced by Red Table Talk Podcasts. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS Jada Pinkett Smith, Fallon Jethroe and Ellen Rakieten. PRODUCER Kyla Carneiro. ASSOCIATE PRODUCER Yolanda Chow. EDITORS AND AUDIO MIXERS Stepfanie Aguilar. MUSIC from Epidemic Sound. LET’S RED TABLE THAT is in partnership with iHeartRadio.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
We are sharing another bonus clip from our conversation about
Constants rules red table Talk appearance. Enjoyed the rest of
our conversation. Now, Dr Jenny Constant struggled with moving past
her mistake. She was so hard on herself for letting

(00:21):
others down. Is this need for perfectionalism or fear of
failure a common struggle you see among clients? And then
how do you help them work through these? Yeah? So
it is a common theme perfectionism quote unquote imposter syndrome, right,
fear of failure? And I mean, I could talk all

(00:42):
day about my issues with the idea of impostor syndrome,
because it almost puts the onus on me, Like I
have a syndrome that I feel like I don't belong
or measure up. But yet I'm living in a society
that is constantly telling me that over and over again.
So why is that my syndrome? But if we think

(01:05):
about the roots of perfectionism though, right, it is a
way that we try to control our environment. It is
a way in which we try to try to kind
of assuage our anxiety. Right, So if I show up
perfectly and I try to control every measure of this situation.

(01:26):
Then that will calm me down and make me feel
somewhat safe in my world. The problem is that when
you uphold that image of perfectionism, sometimes we get cracks
because you cannot actually function perfectly every moment of your life.

(01:47):
And so when we notice cracks, that starts to now
teach our identity. Oh Am, I broken because I can't
function like sometimes we have to challenge. But wait a second,
what is the system in itself that is requiring me
to function under this guise of perfectionism in the first place? Right?

(02:12):
Is it capitalism? Is it racism? Or systemic injustice? What
is it that is forcing me to feel as though
I need to show up in this way in order
to have value or worth? Because I think we need
to dismantle that system then, right, And so when I'm
kind of like trying to help clients move through it,

(02:34):
I'm a big proponent of action being a great teacher.
So if you struggle with perfectionism, then I'm going to
try to devise safe but somewhat challenging exercises for you
to operate imperfectly. That Dr Jenny, I love that this
is my trap because part of it is we can

(02:57):
grow and expand the muscle to tolerate imperfection in our lives. Right,
So the first few times is going to make you
real riled up when you do something imperfectly, But as
you do it again and again, you realize that you
showing up imperfectly doesn't result in the world falling apart.

(03:21):
People still love you, you still have value, and you
realize that you don't have to hold that facade so richidly. Right.
Do you see that your clients evolve and go from
being able to tolerate imperfection to embrace imperfection. Yes, And

(03:43):
that is the coolest part of the journey, right, is
they actually start to develop traction and they start to
invite opportunities that are more risky than they ever would
have tolerated before, and that opens up all of the
possibilities in work, in relationships, in all of these other

(04:05):
spaces of their lives. And I think, coming from kind
of a child of immigrant experience as well, scarcity model
is a very big part of kind of how we
see the world. So if we're taught to be safe,
if we're taught to be stable, don't take too many
risks because you don't want to gamble it all away.
Your ancestors worked really hard for you to get here, right,

(04:28):
so don't lose it and squander it. Then it makes
us much more limited in our risk taking abilities. We
hear that, I hear yeah. So if we can actually say,
you know what, calculated intentional risk is the birthplace of growth,

(04:49):
That is where you actually grow, because if you've mastered it,
if you're not having to struggle through it, there's no
growth there. You're just running the status quo. The muscles
are already trained. But if it's straining you, if it's
pushing you, that's where growth happens. So that's the reframe
that I think we have to The arc has to

(05:11):
head in that direction where failure is actually part of
the process towards success and we have to actually welcome it.
And my failure doesn't say anything about my identity, it's
actually saying something about the process. Fail forwards, fail forward.
I love it, and you will always practice more than

(05:32):
you play. I mean, we just kind of keep on
going out there and doing our thing. I love it.
Oh my goodness, wasn't it good? We couldn't keep this
to ourselves. We had to release it. Yes, Yes, listen.
The full episode recapping Constance Rules episode of Red Table
Talk is out now. Otherwise, tune in on Monday's for

(05:55):
another Let's Red Table debt. A big thank you to
our executive producers Jada Pinkett Smith, Ellen Racketson and Balin Jethrow.
And thank you to our producer Kyla Kneu and our
associate producer Yolanda Chow. And finally, thank you to our
sound engineer, Stephanie Aguilar