October 8, 2024 • 33 mins
You spend about 40 hours a week with your co-workers, so it’s natural to bond with them. But workplace relationships can be a slippery slope when you’re treading the line between “professional” and “too personal.” In this episode, Gianna and Jamé share common pitfalls to look out for, as well as tips for keeping these friendships professional – while still feeling like yourself.
Do you have any burning questions about work? We want to hear them! You can email us your questions at letstalkoffline@linkedin.com.
For more, follow Gianna (http://linkedin.com/in/giannaprudente) and Jamé (http://linkedin.com/in/jamejackson) on LinkedIn and subscribe to Gianna’s weekly newsletter: https://linkedin.com/letstalkoffline.
Credits
Gianna Prudente - Co-host, Early Career Development Editor, LinkedIn
Jamé Jackson - Co-host, Community Manager, LinkedIn
Sabrina Fang - Producer, Western Sound
Maya Pope-Chappell - Director of Content & Audience Development, LinkedIn
Jessi Hempel - Chief Content Officer, LinkedIn
Savannah Wright - Senior Producer, Western Sound
Sarah Dealy - Associate Producer, Western Sound
Alex MacInnis - Engineer, Western Sound
Courtney Coupe - Head of Original Programming, LinkedIn
Dan Roth - Editor in Chief, LinkedIn
Ben Adair - Executive Producer, Western Sound
Katrina Norvell - Executive Producer, iHeartMedia
Nikke Ettore - Executive Producer, iHeartMedia
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
LinkedIn News. There is a level of trust that you
have to build with people, but you also got to
make sure that you look out for yourself because the
same way as I might very casually be telling my
manager about how I was turned up on Friday and
I was doing all this during the weekend, blah blah blah,
(00:21):
you don't know if everyone has your best interest at heart,
and you don't know what malicious intent someone might have
that then when it comes time for promotion or it
comes time for upper mobility, they might be like, actually,
I don't know because so and so they so I
would just say, like, be cautious about who you tell
what to.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, I mean I feel like everyone could probably relate.
We're not always telling our manager exactly what we did
on the weekend. Kay, it was chill, you know. Just
reread a book from LinkedIn News and I heard podcasts.
This is Let's Talk Offline, a show about what it
tastes to thrive in the early years of your career
without sacrificing your values, sanity, or a sleep. I'm Gianna PRDENTI.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
And I'm Jamay Jackson Gadsden. I recently learned a really
interesting fact y'all, people spend an average of ninety thousand
hours at work. Honey, that is a lot of hours. Like,
what in the world I remember thinking? That means that
they're air ninety thousand plus opportunities to make workplace friendships.
(01:25):
And obviously friendships can be great, right, but also maybe
this is the cynicism in me, it also can be
a place for workplace enemies. Dun dundune. So you always
got to figure out how do I navigate workplace friendships
and how do I separate personal from professional?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yeah, like, is it cool to talk to my coworkers
about my love life?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Oooh cringe?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah, I don't know what about how my therapy SA
should went oooh trauma bonding? Yeah, I mean that's real.
You know, something I've definitely realized since starting my career
is that it's important to have work friends. It's something
I want because I want to go to work because
I like the people who I work with. But of
course it's tricky when there's all these dynamics to consider.
(02:10):
So we're gonna walk you through that slippery, slippery slope
of workplace friendships.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
So today Giann and I are talking about navigating workplace friendships,
which I know she and I both have very strong
opinions of. And this is a topic that not only
we are passionate to talk about, but also LinkedIn itself
has data around. An interesting statistic that we read was
that fifty five percent of gen Zers and forty six
(02:42):
percent of millennials say they need work friends. This is
compared to thirty four percent of Gen xers and thirty
three percent of Baby boomers. So the gen Zers and
the millennials are demanding more workplace friendships.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I totally identify with that stat do you No, I
will get into that, but you know, it's funny we're
talking about this topic because I saw this headline that
said work is not a place to make friends, and
I was like, oh, okay, you did.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
You may write that article.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Oh god, we gotta get into that. No, but I
was like, okay, So obviously people approach workplace friendships differently,
and workplace relationships in general, if we take a step back,
come in many forms. Right, you have your work friends,
your manager, your mentor. But we're talking specifically about work
friendships here, and like anything, obviously there may be some downsides,
(03:34):
which you know, explain the headline I guess so some
cons to workplace friendships. We are complex humans, so they
just add complexities to the workplace. You know, you might
feel loyal to certain people because of the relationship that
you form. They can also create like an us versus
them mentality and this like clicky culture. Also, friendships can
(03:57):
encourage gossiping and drama. I mean, I feel like everybody's
been there. You find yourself like deep in the weeds
of some drama and you're like, wait, I gotta take
a step back. And it also blurs the line between
your personal and professional life, which can of course impact
your mental health. I think if you have a close
work friend, maybe you guys are calling each other after
hours and you're still bringing up work stuff, right, it
kind of just becomes more consuming. But I see, like
(04:22):
there are many benefits to work friendships. One, it makes
you feel less lonely and socially isolated, which is especially
important if you're working in a remote and hybrid job.
Workplace friendships also boost happiness and job satisfaction overall, and
they create a sense of belonging in an environment of support.
There's like this transparency aspect of it. Right, If you
(04:44):
have a close work friend or even just an ally
you maybe are able to talk transparently about pay and
other things that go on just to kind of boost
your overall you know, knowledge of what's going on at work.
But of course it's a double edge sword, right, Like
workplace friendships make us more invested, which can make us
like our jobs more, but also when we leave or
a friends live, then it becomes really difficult.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah, I love that you've highlighted the pros and cons
of this, because at the end of the day, I
really think that neither you or I or anyone can
tell someone exactly what they need to do, So it
really comes down to you deciding what feels good for you.
But what I really appreciate is that a lot of
this comes down to dynamics and power. Dynamics, especially in
the workforce, are so important figuring out if I can
(05:28):
make a friendship with my manager or a certain coworker,
maybe that coworker is more senior than I am, what
happens when a friend becomes my manager or vice versa.
So there's just so many different things that you have
to navigate, and you have to figure out what works
for me. And I think that these are the questions
that a lot of people are asking. Especially what I
found to be interesting was that gen z ers want that,
(05:50):
but then you guys also really want separation of like
work and personal, which I think is very interesting because
the stats almost contradict themselves. But there also is a
marriage there. And another thing that I was thinking of
as you were talking about the pros and cons is
also the additional pressure of maybe people from different communities,
whether it's marginalized communities like people of color, people from
(06:13):
different socioeconomic backgrounds, or even just women in the workforce
who have to kind of navigate these power dynamics. You know,
think about all like the high profile women executives that
you've seen talk about how in order for them to
get into the C suite they had to be quote
unquote one of the boys, right, or they had to
learn how to speak jargon or keep up with men.
(06:33):
I know, for me, even as I was growing up,
I was always encourage go to the happy hours, go
to the team socials. You don't have to do anything
there but just show yourself to be friendly. And it
kind of sucks that we have to do that, but
I do think that that also goes back to if
you feel friendly, people are willing to look out for you,
which is why this topic I feel is very timely
and super fun. So Gianna, let me ask you first,
(06:55):
how do you approach workplace friendships and like, what has
been your experience with that?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah, so you know, life after college can be lonely.
I think when I graduated, it was summer. It was
so exciting. You're busy, and then all of a sudden,
the fall rules around. Your friends are starting their jobs,
and this postgrad transition really starts to settle in and
it's lonely. Right, Like, I started my job in twenty
(07:22):
twenty one, so it's still like pandemic years and gen
Z really experienced a loneliness like epidemic at that time.
We one just navigated college during the pandemic, so we
already were feeling isolated, and then entered the workforce having
fully remote jobs, so we missed out on those in
person connections. And I remember, yeah, I was so excited
(07:43):
to have a remote job. But now what you know,
we have to relearn how to make friends. Our friends
from college or maybe moving away. They're starting their own
journeys and it can feel really isolating in that time,
So you know, when you're navigating adulthood, leaning into your
work environment to make friends kind of happens naturally, I
think for a lot of us, And depending on the
(08:05):
workplace where you join, you're likely surrounded by people who
have had similar shared experiences. They may be in a
similar point in their lives, so naturally you kind of
bond together. So I've prioritized workplace friendship since I started
my career. Some I'll be transparent, some of these relationships
were kind of born out of trauma bonding. I love you, know,
(08:28):
I think you in those instances. You have to be
cautious that that doesn't become the whole relationship, right, Like
it's not just negative talk all the time. But yeah,
those a lot of my relationships have happened naturally, and
it's something I was definitely intentional about. And I also
took advantage of every mentorship opportunity that was offered by
the company. Luckily, We've had a few programs in my
time here, and every time I've signed up and I've
(08:49):
been a mentee. So that's kind of how I've approached it.
But I'm curious from you over the course of your
career how has that shifted for you totally.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I love that you mentioned about trauma bonding as a
friendship because it's true, and I think the terrifying thing
is that you are initially bounded by other people by
this thing, but then when one of y'all heals, the
friendship is over. But then you look flaky, But really
you just went out and got healed, and everybody else
you got better, right, and everybody else is still wherever
(09:17):
they're at. For me, I would say that I agree
with you in the sense that it's important to have
friendships and people who at least make coming to work
fun or good. You're going to be here for a
long time, right, literally the hours in the day, but
then also over the course of your life. However, I
have also learned that if you get too close to fire,
(09:38):
it can burn you. And I think for me, well,
let me take a step back first and just preface
this by saying that if you are listening to this
and if you work with me, it is not that
I do not like you.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Okay, getting nervous over.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Here, Like to me, it's like, dang, I thought we
were friends, girl. No, I love people. I just find
that if I really want to be true to having
a separation of work and personal. That also does require
figuring out where do I place people? And this is
not everybody, right, Like I have some people who I've
worked with and they have been in my wedding. I
(10:12):
go out with them on the weekends. You know, we
keep in contact after where like people I call up
on the phone and I would chat, I'll cry on
the phone, which you live like? Those are unique, but
I don't really come into the workforce looking for that
for me. I would say that also, having worked in
certain industries like fashion and entertainment, I had to learn
very early on a lot of these relationships were transactional
(10:34):
and you can still make friendships in those spaces, but
you have to sort of dissect who wants what from
you when. And this is the same thing that happens
in corporate right, Like think about it. You are here
because you are offering an exchange of goods and services,
So they're already from the jump, before that friendship was
even formed. Is a transaction happening. You know, you can
(10:54):
come into work if all of a sudden you stop
doing your work. Your friends can't save you, like they're
gonna be making sure that they're good with their job.
So for me, I would say that I learned pretty
early on this idea of like navigating the space and
being friendly without being friends. You can still show up
and be kind professional, really care about people, but there
also has to be a point where this stops. And
(11:16):
I would say for me, one of the biggest lessons
in all of that was when I became a manager
for the first time. I've been a manager a couple
of times throughout my career, and each time I had
to navigate this really sticky situation of the people who
I was friends with, the people I would cut up
with right like we had like group chats going off,
like we would do everything together. All of a sudden,
(11:38):
now them reporting to me, and by natural order of
a power dynamic, things got weird.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
That's messy.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
It's really messy. And the sad thing is it's not
like anyone sets out to be in a position versus
another person. It's just the order of it. I'll never
forget to outside of having to learn my own power
dynamics seeing this happen in real time. One time I
was working and I was really close friends with two
other individuals at a media company, and we were all close,
(12:07):
like the three of us would do things together, but
also I would spend independent time with each one of them,
and they would also spend time independently with each other.
Chaw one day.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Wait, I just want to say, trios never.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Work out, would work out? Odd numbers make me twitch.
I don't know what it is. I mean, I have
three dogs at home, and someone always is getting left out.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
I am one of three siblings, so we work. But
I think with friendships against especially I.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Do think so, and I don't think we all love
each other equally. I just don't think that that can
work anyway. So I'll never forget. At that point, promotions
were coming up, and it was between the two of
them because they were in a in the same division,
but separate division as me. So I wasn't even going
up for promotion. I'll never forget. One of them started
(12:53):
going around the office and telling everybody the other person's business.
And she would just do like the smallest things, like
in a meeting, if so and so, let's just use
person A person B. If person B had an idea,
person A would cut into them like, well, actually, I
don't know if that's a good idea because and just
then they always did it in front of senior leadership,
(13:15):
and obviously that friendship broke. The gag was neither of
them got the promotions. I was like, dang, girl, you
was fighting in the club and didn't even win. And
obviously then my friendship with that person because I started
just side eyeing you. I'm like, yeah, you move really weird,
you move spooky like I don't like that. So even
(13:37):
though everybody is not that situation, everybody will do that.
And again, as I said in the beginning of my spiel,
I do love people. I do also think that I
have seen enough of these instances where I say, you
know what, for me personally, I gotta have some boundaries
and I got to know where to place people in
a healthy way.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Obviously, having friends is great, but when it comes to
work friends, that can get a little complicated. That's next
after the break. Here's the thing. When it comes to
(14:26):
building these meaningful connections, you really have to be thoughtful
and intentional about who you invest your time and energy with.
You might not be looking for close work friendships, and
that's totally okay, but you're probably still looking for allies
and community at work. So either way, you got to
start somewhere, and I think you know an easy place
(14:47):
to start. It might sound so simple, you're like, wow, Gianna, groundbreaking.
It's just asking your coworkers to grab lunch or get coffee.
And you can even do that virtually, like setting up
a coffee chat with one of your coworkers. Then it's
really up to you to decide how much time and
energy do you want to invest with that person. Maybe
you commit to a monthly lunch with colleagues, or maybe
(15:08):
you get lunch with them every day. Right, Like there's
two extremes, there's an in between. You really have to
just figure out what works best for you and what
you're trying to gain out of these friendships. And as
you're building your relationships, you really have to decide how
much do you want to blend your personal and professional life,
which is going to bring us to the topic of boundaries.
And I will say, though, you can't be friends with
(15:29):
everyone in the office, Like that's just kind of the
reality of it all, and that's okay.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah, Like for me, I'm probably not going to do
a lunch with everybody. That's just true because I want
that time to myself. I need a reprogram. I need
to watch tiktoks, yes while I.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Chow and I love iPhone time.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yeah, it's like a little bit of something. But I
will do a nice little coffee chat just like catch
up with you. See what you watching, you know what's
going on. So we are going to talk to the
wonderful people who send us these questions in Dear Work,
Best Day, y'ah No. I love this where we answer
your questions. And this week the question comes from Jarah
(16:04):
in New.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
York who asks, as an early career professional, I'm figuring
out how to form meaningful relationships in the office. What
would you say are some effective strategies for navigating power
dynamics in the workplace, especially when interacting with senior leaders
or just colleagues who have more experience than me.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Yeah. You know, the thing is, when it comes to
senior leaders, you're probably not going to be buddy buddy
with them. That's, you know, the reality of it. But
that doesn't mean you can't still establish some form of relationship.
I think the key piece here is you have to
come from a place of authenticity. Nobody likes you know,
somebody who's just kissing up for the promotion or whatever
(16:46):
it might be to get those opportunities. So you really
have to be authentic about how you're you know, approaching
and bringing yourself to this relationship and not just wanting
to be seen as likable so you move up the ladder.
And I really love how Jarah mentions power dynamics because
I think that's where it gets a little messy. You
almost have to just be an observer and like sit
(17:07):
back in a room and see how everyone's moving right.
Like a lot of times, if you're getting moved onto
a new project and you're working with a new team,
you might not know the power dynamics of that team.
And I've totally experienced this, you know, I've gone to
my manager in these moments and been like, Okay, you've
been here longer than me, what do I kind of
need to know? Right? Like I need to go in
(17:27):
and form my own opinion and figure this out for myself.
But he can add some kind of color to give
me guidance as I walk into this, so I'm not
really going in totally blind. So you could always go
to your manager or a mentor for insight. And also
I think when it comes to speaking to senior leaders.
Let's say you want to do a quarterly check in
with somebody who's higher up on your team. You have
(17:50):
to approach them knowing what you want to talk about. Like,
you can't go into these meetings just being like, Hey,
just wanted to see how it's going. You have to
come prepared, and I think during that you know, catch up.
Sometimes you can feel nervous if like, oh, I'm in
the hot seat. I have their time, right, Their time
is valuable, so as yours. But you need to come prepared.
And if they start asking you questions and you're like, oh,
(18:11):
I just don't know like the answer to that, totally
fine to admit that, right, Like not everybody knows everything,
And also don't be afreie to ask them questions like
what's top of mind for them. I think the more
conversational it can be, the better.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah. I always say that you need to present yourself
in the way you want to be received. So if
you want to be perceived as that inexperienced young professional
who just talks a whole lot and never gets work done,
that's how you're going to show up. Show up like that, right,
But to your point, if you're putting one on one,
you know, time with your manager a skip level which
(18:43):
is your manager's manager, or you might even have access
to people a couple of skip levels up right, then
you need to go into those meetings really carrying the
weight of who you want to be seen as. And
the good thing is all it takes is some due diligence,
writing out some note, practicing in front of the mirror
if you get a little shy. I know, for me,
for instance, sometimes when I do one on ones with
(19:05):
our VP, I get tongue tied and I get a
little nervous. So I like to practice, and I like
to have out like post it notes or data points
that I really want to highlight. And to your point,
I always think that showing yourself to be friendly is
always going to carry It doesn't matter if you are
just starting out or if you've been in a company
for thirty forty years. People want to work with nice people,
and so if you can already start doing that, and
(19:26):
if you can start showing yourself to be that person
that people know that they can depend on and that
they can trust, that is really a great way I
think you can navigate senior leaders and show yourself to
be a potential for a senior leader one day.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
I do want to say, like, I think where it
gets the most complicated is not those close work friends
around your age or the relationship with a senior leader,
but the in between, which is the relationship with your manager.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Yeah, that's a really good call out.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
I think what's important to remind yourself too when it
comes to, like especially the relationship with your manager, is
that at the end of the day, they're your boss.
I think I sometimes have taken like a casual approach,
and I have to remind myself, like, Okay, I don't
need to be sharing everything, right, Like, of course there
are things in my head I know that I won't
open up about. But even sometimes, like when it comes
(20:15):
to a workplace problem I'm having, I found myself at
one point going to my manager and like just like
complaining about it, and I was like, wait, Okay, this
is obviously not a good look for me. I need
to come like more with solutions, right, Like, I know
he's there to support me and advocate for me. And
sometimes if I really can't figure it out myself, like
then I'm gonna really need to go to him, but
I can come with solutions, not all of my problems.
(20:37):
So I think it's like really important to remember, like,
at the end of the day, this person is measuring
your performance. They're talking to like higher ups about how
you're doing, so you have to be intentional about how
you kind of communicate with them.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Yeah, And I really want to just like quickly chime
in on that, g because I think that what you
said is so important. I think this is something that
a lot of people will find themselves in at some point.
But I also want to offer a cautionary tale. When
I was growing up, my mama used to always say
to be cautious and mindful about what you say and
(21:09):
who you're saying it too. And sure enough, I don't
think I've ever met a single black or Latino woman
in particular. I'm only speaking from that because that's my experience.
Who is in corporate America who has said otherwise. There
is a level of trust that you have to build
with people, but you also got to make sure that
you look out for yourself. Because the same way as
(21:30):
I might very casually be telling my manager about how
I was turned up on Friday and I was doing
all this during the weekend. Blah blah blah. You don't
know if everyone has your best interest at heart, and
you don't know what malicious intent someone might have that
then when it comes time for promotion or it comes
time for upper mobility, they might be like, actually, I
(21:51):
don't know because so and so they I don't know,
you know, or if I know. Some people might tell
their manager, you know, I'm gonna clock out a little early.
I'm gonna go to yoga, and you think it's all
because you go to yoga. They go to yoga, and
then they're gonna say, actually, we can't put them in
another role because they leave work early. So I would
just say, like, you just have to be careful about
what you tell people. And again, none of this is
(22:13):
set in stone, right. There are some people like I
know Gianna's manager and we both love him very much, so,
but there are other people who all I can just
say is be cautious about who you tell what to.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah, I mean, I feel like everyone could probably relate.
We're not always telling our manager exactly what we did
on the weekend. Chill, it was chill, you know, just
read a book. But yeah, you know, you mentioned this
idea of trust, and I really do think that builds
over time, and you really have to also just trust
your gut with these relationships. Something I really like to
(22:45):
do is just match the other person's energy. Like if
we're talking about work friendships here, you know, I'm gonna
slowly open up as you open up, or like, I'm
not going to take the lead on this. Sometimes I
will if there's like so much safety I feel with
this person, right and we're like bonding in that moment
for sure, But largely I'm going to just try to
match somebody else's energy, so as they start opening up,
(23:06):
I'm going to feel more comfortable doing the same, and
it's a signal that they're starting to trust you so
that you can also trust them. Also totally okay to
have like off the record conversations with people. I've done
this a thousand times, not a thousand, but a lot
of times, a lot you know, being like, hey, like
I'm like just trying to you know, figure something out,
especially like when it comes to pay right, that's like
(23:28):
such a taboo topic, especially in an office setting. Sometimes
I'm like, hey, can we like have an off the
record conversation about X Y? And Z and then you
know you're able to speak transparently with someone. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I would also say for Jira in particular, because this
is something that I've been working on a lot. It's
just the importance of investing in long term friendships or
relationships or situationships.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
No, not the.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Workplace friendly version. Okay, this would be a very different podcast. Otherwise,
I would just say that if you meet a senior
leader or even your manager right, that you really build
a great rapport with your friends, your colleagues, figuring out
those boundaries right again, because again boundary setting is very
important here. But after that, continue to stay on their
(24:15):
radar once a quarter, maybe once every six months. I
love to send former managers if mind, just a quick
note just being like, Hey, still alive here, this is
what I'm up to, still surviving and thriving sometimes, and
it's nice because I think the fear is that people
don't want these friendships to feel transactional. But there's a
(24:37):
way to navigate it in which you are still building
your network, which is going to be the social collateral
that you will have as you pivot and change into
job after job after job, but it still can feel
genuine and unique to you. So send people you know
a thank you note afterward. You know, wish people happy
(24:57):
birthday if you know it's their birthday day, or you know.
Sometimes I will see on social media that someone is
celebrating an anniversary and I wish them a happy anniversary.
Little small things like that, right, Because again, showing yourself
to be kind and friendly and a team player is
going to take you a long way. And one of
the things that I see sometimes is that you will
leave a job and you will leave all those friendships behind.
(25:20):
Now here's the thing. If you leave a job and
that person who you used to chat it up with
every single day y'all used to go about that was
your roll dog. You know, y'all was riding down the
hood together all this stuff. If all of a sudden
they never check for you ever again, now you know
exactly where to place them in your life. But I
do also believe that in that same vein, you can
(25:40):
create real friendships with people who you keep up with.
The person who I told you was in my wedding,
she don't even work here no more. Like, So we
have to actually take an intentional approach to creating that
friendship and keeping it up. But it all started in here,
it went down and LinkedIn and then it's just now
out in the streets. To take a short break, there's
(26:01):
still more talk about friendship and also would you take
a pay cunt for your pet? I got thoughts that's next.
(26:22):
So hopefully after listening to today's episode, you are starting
to ask yourself the questions about workplace friendships and how
you want to go about it. For me, I think
one thing I'm taking away from this conversation is that,
however you want to shake this out, it's okay. You
can have all the friends in the workforce, or you
can have no friends and keep it, you know, just
(26:42):
pushing p P asn't professional like. However you want to
do this, it's up to you. And also I would
say that creating those boundaries is important. Ask yourself and
vet this question. Are you okay with someone knowing whatever
information you're about to give them if they were not
your friend? If the answer is H, actually would not
want somebody to know that, maybe that will also help
(27:04):
evaluate if that's information that you should exchange with someone else.
What about you, Giana.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Something I've learned is that how you prioritize workplace relationships
is just going to naturally shift throughout your career. But
one thing that will kind of always just hold true
is that you want allies and you want community at work,
even if you're not seeking those close friendships. So it
all comes down to like being friendly, showing up, and
like caring about people, but respecting your own boundaries and
(27:30):
being intentional about where and who you're spending your time
and energy with. So you just need to decide that
all for yourself, like you were saying, and you can
never go wrong with just showing up and being friendly.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
I know that's right now talking about being friendly. Uh,
I got something for you, Gianna. Guess what I got?
I got receipts you guys, re seats, But just a
nice little bit we like to do where we pull
things up and we essentially discuss are there receipts to
back up or prove? Honestly, it's all also a good
way from John and I to learn about each other
(28:02):
a little bit more so. This week we are tackling
an interesting myth here.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
We've got a headline this week from Fortune magazine. So
it appears that millennials and gen zers are willing to
take a pay cut so they can spend more time
with their pets. What, you're the dog owner here, so
I'll let you take it first. What do you think?
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Let me get this straight. People want to take less
money so that they can spend more time at home
with their animals that don't pay bills. Yes, absolutely not?
What is what?
Speaker 2 (28:40):
What?
Speaker 3 (28:40):
See?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
You wouldn't?
Speaker 1 (28:43):
My dog had an ear infection last week. I had
to take time off work and take her eight hundred
dollars for them to give me droplets to put in
her ears.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Excuse me?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
What? You want me to take less money? But you
expec like that?
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Absolutely no. That's why she's in commercials because you got
to pay some bills around here, baby girl, Like mommy
cannot do that.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
You're so? She literally does pay the bills.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
She does pay, but she pays for expensive prestige treats. Yes,
but not enough to be covering this. Absolutely not. What
are y'all do?
Speaker 2 (29:16):
I mean?
Speaker 1 (29:16):
I'm so sorry. I don't mean to be that aggressive,
but like, no, and I love my pets so much.
I love my dogs. I love them, but we we
leave them money out on the table.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, I'm not a pet owner, but I can't imagine
that I would take a pay cut for my you know,
unborn pet.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Why.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
But the thing is, like, I posted about this on
LinkedIn because I'm like, whoa this is? I mean, I like,
I just wanted to know, like what are people saying
about this? And honestly, the results really pretty split. Some
members were literally like, yeah, my dog does not pay
my bills or my hamster does not pay my bills.
I'm not gonna take a pay cut. But some people
were like, yeah, I've already done this. I've you know,
taken a pay cut to work remote so I have
(30:00):
or time at home with my pet. But across it all,
people were sharing picks of their pets, which I really appreciated.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
That's the real gift of this, you know. I can
imagine if you have like a low overhead, right, Like,
if it doesn't require a lot of money for you
to live, right, maybe you live in a city that
is a little bit more affordable. Maybe your rent or
your mortgage or whatever situation you're in, you can afford it, right,
maybe taking a slight pay decrease is feasible. I am
(30:27):
a high maintenance woman, like I require it's hard for
me to afford myself. Yeah, let alone. I feel that then,
you know, then let alone. Then adding in the extra
elements of taking care of dogs and living in New
York and then training and all that stuff. So I
also think that there is an opportunity here to say
that this is also a situational thing. Maybe some people
(30:48):
they can afford to do it, but other we gotta
go out here and make this money. Okay, and my
dogs too. I'm about to put the other two in
commercials too. Everybody got to pull their way working. I
feel like I feel like Gypsy, like my mama Rose here,
I am taking my work. Make mama stop baby.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Yeah, I guess it does depend on how much of
a pay cut are we talking, So you guys, let
us know would you take a pay cut for your pets.
We'll discuss it more in the newsletter this week, so
let us know they're in the comments and send us
photos of your pets. Yeah, please? Oh woof speaking because
(31:28):
this was.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
A fun episode. Thank you guys so much for listening.
I'm really enjoying the community we're building here.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Me too, all right. I mentioned the newsletter earlier, and
make sure you're following it. If you're not already, you
can find the link in the show description, also in
the bio of my LinkedIn profile. It's called you Guessed It.
Let's talk offline. We go even deeper into the topics
we discuss on the pod with some exclusive content. And
this week we're gonna be talking about how to build
a relationship with a mentor.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Ooh, very spicy. I'm gonna make sure I read that. Also,
we want to think Yiah for sending in that wonderful question.
We like Jarah, Be like Jarah. You guys, If you
guys have questions for us, make sure you send those in.
Information on how to do that is also in the
show description. Check the show description. Do not say I
don't know how to do some It is in the
(32:16):
show description. Child, okay, and also make sure you go
on and review and follow the podcast. You have been
hanging out with me and Gianna for a few weeks.
Now you like us. Let's make an official.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
One last thing. Remember we have always got your back,
so if something comes up in the meantime, we'll talk offline.
I'm Giana Prdente.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
And I'm Jamie Jackson Gadson, Stay thriving.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Let's Talk Offline is a production of LinkedIn News and
iHeart Podcasts. The show is produced by Western Sound. Our
producer is Sabrina Fang. The show is edited by Savannah Wright.
Our associate producer is Sarah Dilley. Alex mckinnis is our engineer,
and Ben Adair is the executive producer.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Executive producers at iHeart Podcasts are Katrina Noravel, Nikki Etour.
We got support from LinkedIn's Jesse Hemple, Sarah Storm and
Ayana Angel. Maya Pope Chappelle is director of Content, Dave
Pond is head of News Production, Courtney Coop is Head
of Original Programming, and Dan Roth is the editor in
(33:16):
chief of LinkedIn
LinkedIn News. There is a level of trust that you
have to build with people, but you also got to
make sure that you look out for yourself because the
same way as I might very casually be telling my
manager about how I was turned up on Friday and
I was doing all this during the weekend, blah blah blah,
(00:21):
you don't know if everyone has your best interest at heart,
and you don't know what malicious intent someone might have
that then when it comes time for promotion or it
comes time for upper mobility, they might be like, actually,
I don't know because so and so they so I
would just say, like, be cautious about who you tell
what to.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, I mean I feel like everyone could probably relate.
We're not always telling our manager exactly what we did
on the weekend. Kay, it was chill, you know. Just
reread a book from LinkedIn News and I heard podcasts.
This is Let's Talk Offline, a show about what it
tastes to thrive in the early years of your career
without sacrificing your values, sanity, or a sleep. I'm Gianna PRDENTI.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
And I'm Jamay Jackson Gadsden. I recently learned a really
interesting fact y'all, people spend an average of ninety thousand
hours at work. Honey, that is a lot of hours. Like,
what in the world I remember thinking? That means that
they're air ninety thousand plus opportunities to make workplace friendships.
(01:25):
And obviously friendships can be great, right, but also maybe
this is the cynicism in me, it also can be
a place for workplace enemies. Dun dundune. So you always
got to figure out how do I navigate workplace friendships
and how do I separate personal from professional?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yeah, like, is it cool to talk to my coworkers
about my love life?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Oooh cringe?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah, I don't know what about how my therapy SA
should went oooh trauma bonding? Yeah, I mean that's real.
You know, something I've definitely realized since starting my career
is that it's important to have work friends. It's something
I want because I want to go to work because
I like the people who I work with. But of
course it's tricky when there's all these dynamics to consider.
(02:10):
So we're gonna walk you through that slippery, slippery slope
of workplace friendships.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
So today Giann and I are talking about navigating workplace friendships,
which I know she and I both have very strong
opinions of. And this is a topic that not only
we are passionate to talk about, but also LinkedIn itself
has data around. An interesting statistic that we read was
that fifty five percent of gen Zers and forty six
(02:42):
percent of millennials say they need work friends. This is
compared to thirty four percent of Gen xers and thirty
three percent of Baby boomers. So the gen Zers and
the millennials are demanding more workplace friendships.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I totally identify with that stat do you No, I
will get into that, but you know, it's funny we're
talking about this topic because I saw this headline that
said work is not a place to make friends, and
I was like, oh, okay, you did.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
You may write that article.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Oh god, we gotta get into that. No, but I
was like, okay, So obviously people approach workplace friendships differently,
and workplace relationships in general, if we take a step back,
come in many forms. Right, you have your work friends,
your manager, your mentor. But we're talking specifically about work
friendships here, and like anything, obviously there may be some downsides,
(03:34):
which you know, explain the headline I guess so some
cons to workplace friendships. We are complex humans, so they
just add complexities to the workplace. You know, you might
feel loyal to certain people because of the relationship that
you form. They can also create like an us versus
them mentality and this like clicky culture. Also, friendships can
(03:57):
encourage gossiping and drama. I mean, I feel like everybody's
been there. You find yourself like deep in the weeds
of some drama and you're like, wait, I gotta take
a step back. And it also blurs the line between
your personal and professional life, which can of course impact
your mental health. I think if you have a close
work friend, maybe you guys are calling each other after
hours and you're still bringing up work stuff, right, it
kind of just becomes more consuming. But I see, like
(04:22):
there are many benefits to work friendships. One, it makes
you feel less lonely and socially isolated, which is especially
important if you're working in a remote and hybrid job.
Workplace friendships also boost happiness and job satisfaction overall, and
they create a sense of belonging in an environment of support.
There's like this transparency aspect of it. Right, If you
(04:44):
have a close work friend or even just an ally
you maybe are able to talk transparently about pay and
other things that go on just to kind of boost
your overall you know, knowledge of what's going on at work.
But of course it's a double edge sword, right, Like
workplace friendships make us more invested, which can make us
like our jobs more, but also when we leave or
a friends live, then it becomes really difficult.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah, I love that you've highlighted the pros and cons
of this, because at the end of the day, I
really think that neither you or I or anyone can
tell someone exactly what they need to do, So it
really comes down to you deciding what feels good for you.
But what I really appreciate is that a lot of
this comes down to dynamics and power. Dynamics, especially in
the workforce, are so important figuring out if I can
(05:28):
make a friendship with my manager or a certain coworker,
maybe that coworker is more senior than I am, what
happens when a friend becomes my manager or vice versa.
So there's just so many different things that you have
to navigate, and you have to figure out what works
for me. And I think that these are the questions
that a lot of people are asking. Especially what I
found to be interesting was that gen z ers want that,
(05:50):
but then you guys also really want separation of like
work and personal, which I think is very interesting because
the stats almost contradict themselves. But there also is a
marriage there. And another thing that I was thinking of
as you were talking about the pros and cons is
also the additional pressure of maybe people from different communities,
whether it's marginalized communities like people of color, people from
(06:13):
different socioeconomic backgrounds, or even just women in the workforce
who have to kind of navigate these power dynamics. You know,
think about all like the high profile women executives that
you've seen talk about how in order for them to
get into the C suite they had to be quote
unquote one of the boys, right, or they had to
learn how to speak jargon or keep up with men.
(06:33):
I know, for me, even as I was growing up,
I was always encourage go to the happy hours, go
to the team socials. You don't have to do anything
there but just show yourself to be friendly. And it
kind of sucks that we have to do that, but
I do think that that also goes back to if
you feel friendly, people are willing to look out for you,
which is why this topic I feel is very timely
and super fun. So Gianna, let me ask you first,
(06:55):
how do you approach workplace friendships and like, what has
been your experience with that?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah, so you know, life after college can be lonely.
I think when I graduated, it was summer. It was
so exciting. You're busy, and then all of a sudden,
the fall rules around. Your friends are starting their jobs,
and this postgrad transition really starts to settle in and
it's lonely. Right, Like, I started my job in twenty
(07:22):
twenty one, so it's still like pandemic years and gen
Z really experienced a loneliness like epidemic at that time.
We one just navigated college during the pandemic, so we
already were feeling isolated, and then entered the workforce having
fully remote jobs, so we missed out on those in
person connections. And I remember, yeah, I was so excited
(07:43):
to have a remote job. But now what you know,
we have to relearn how to make friends. Our friends
from college or maybe moving away. They're starting their own
journeys and it can feel really isolating in that time,
So you know, when you're navigating adulthood, leaning into your
work environment to make friends kind of happens naturally, I
think for a lot of us, And depending on the
(08:05):
workplace where you join, you're likely surrounded by people who
have had similar shared experiences. They may be in a
similar point in their lives, so naturally you kind of
bond together. So I've prioritized workplace friendship since I started
my career. Some I'll be transparent, some of these relationships
were kind of born out of trauma bonding. I love you, know,
(08:28):
I think you in those instances. You have to be
cautious that that doesn't become the whole relationship, right, Like
it's not just negative talk all the time. But yeah,
those a lot of my relationships have happened naturally, and
it's something I was definitely intentional about. And I also
took advantage of every mentorship opportunity that was offered by
the company. Luckily, We've had a few programs in my
time here, and every time I've signed up and I've
(08:49):
been a mentee. So that's kind of how I've approached it.
But I'm curious from you over the course of your
career how has that shifted for you totally.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I love that you mentioned about trauma bonding as a
friendship because it's true, and I think the terrifying thing
is that you are initially bounded by other people by
this thing, but then when one of y'all heals, the
friendship is over. But then you look flaky, But really
you just went out and got healed, and everybody else
you got better, right, and everybody else is still wherever
(09:17):
they're at. For me, I would say that I agree
with you in the sense that it's important to have
friendships and people who at least make coming to work
fun or good. You're going to be here for a
long time, right, literally the hours in the day, but
then also over the course of your life. However, I
have also learned that if you get too close to fire,
(09:38):
it can burn you. And I think for me, well,
let me take a step back first and just preface
this by saying that if you are listening to this
and if you work with me, it is not that
I do not like you.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Okay, getting nervous over.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Here, Like to me, it's like, dang, I thought we
were friends, girl. No, I love people. I just find
that if I really want to be true to having
a separation of work and personal. That also does require
figuring out where do I place people? And this is
not everybody, right, Like I have some people who I've
worked with and they have been in my wedding. I
(10:12):
go out with them on the weekends. You know, we
keep in contact after where like people I call up
on the phone and I would chat, I'll cry on
the phone, which you live like? Those are unique, but
I don't really come into the workforce looking for that
for me. I would say that also, having worked in
certain industries like fashion and entertainment, I had to learn
very early on a lot of these relationships were transactional
(10:34):
and you can still make friendships in those spaces, but
you have to sort of dissect who wants what from
you when. And this is the same thing that happens
in corporate right, Like think about it. You are here
because you are offering an exchange of goods and services,
So they're already from the jump, before that friendship was
even formed. Is a transaction happening. You know, you can
(10:54):
come into work if all of a sudden you stop
doing your work. Your friends can't save you, like they're
gonna be making sure that they're good with their job.
So for me, I would say that I learned pretty
early on this idea of like navigating the space and
being friendly without being friends. You can still show up
and be kind professional, really care about people, but there
also has to be a point where this stops. And
(11:16):
I would say for me, one of the biggest lessons
in all of that was when I became a manager
for the first time. I've been a manager a couple
of times throughout my career, and each time I had
to navigate this really sticky situation of the people who
I was friends with, the people I would cut up
with right like we had like group chats going off,
like we would do everything together. All of a sudden,
(11:38):
now them reporting to me, and by natural order of
a power dynamic, things got weird.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
That's messy.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
It's really messy. And the sad thing is it's not
like anyone sets out to be in a position versus
another person. It's just the order of it. I'll never
forget to outside of having to learn my own power
dynamics seeing this happen in real time. One time I
was working and I was really close friends with two
other individuals at a media company, and we were all close,
(12:07):
like the three of us would do things together, but
also I would spend independent time with each one of them,
and they would also spend time independently with each other.
Chaw one day.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Wait, I just want to say, trios never.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Work out, would work out? Odd numbers make me twitch.
I don't know what it is. I mean, I have
three dogs at home, and someone always is getting left out.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
I am one of three siblings, so we work. But
I think with friendships against especially I.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Do think so, and I don't think we all love
each other equally. I just don't think that that can
work anyway. So I'll never forget. At that point, promotions
were coming up, and it was between the two of
them because they were in a in the same division,
but separate division as me. So I wasn't even going
up for promotion. I'll never forget. One of them started
(12:53):
going around the office and telling everybody the other person's business.
And she would just do like the smallest things, like
in a meeting, if so and so, let's just use
person A person B. If person B had an idea,
person A would cut into them like, well, actually, I
don't know if that's a good idea because and just
then they always did it in front of senior leadership,
(13:15):
and obviously that friendship broke. The gag was neither of
them got the promotions. I was like, dang, girl, you
was fighting in the club and didn't even win. And
obviously then my friendship with that person because I started
just side eyeing you. I'm like, yeah, you move really weird,
you move spooky like I don't like that. So even
(13:37):
though everybody is not that situation, everybody will do that.
And again, as I said in the beginning of my spiel,
I do love people. I do also think that I
have seen enough of these instances where I say, you
know what, for me personally, I gotta have some boundaries
and I got to know where to place people in
a healthy way.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Obviously, having friends is great, but when it comes to
work friends, that can get a little complicated. That's next
after the break. Here's the thing. When it comes to
(14:26):
building these meaningful connections, you really have to be thoughtful
and intentional about who you invest your time and energy with.
You might not be looking for close work friendships, and
that's totally okay, but you're probably still looking for allies
and community at work. So either way, you got to
start somewhere, and I think you know an easy place
(14:47):
to start. It might sound so simple, you're like, wow, Gianna, groundbreaking.
It's just asking your coworkers to grab lunch or get coffee.
And you can even do that virtually, like setting up
a coffee chat with one of your coworkers. Then it's
really up to you to decide how much time and
energy do you want to invest with that person. Maybe
you commit to a monthly lunch with colleagues, or maybe
(15:08):
you get lunch with them every day. Right, Like there's
two extremes, there's an in between. You really have to
just figure out what works best for you and what
you're trying to gain out of these friendships. And as
you're building your relationships, you really have to decide how
much do you want to blend your personal and professional life,
which is going to bring us to the topic of boundaries.
And I will say, though, you can't be friends with
(15:29):
everyone in the office, Like that's just kind of the
reality of it all, and that's okay.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah, Like for me, I'm probably not going to do
a lunch with everybody. That's just true because I want
that time to myself. I need a reprogram. I need
to watch tiktoks, yes while I.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Chow and I love iPhone time.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yeah, it's like a little bit of something. But I
will do a nice little coffee chat just like catch
up with you. See what you watching, you know what's
going on. So we are going to talk to the
wonderful people who send us these questions in Dear Work,
Best Day, y'ah No. I love this where we answer
your questions. And this week the question comes from Jarah
(16:04):
in New.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
York who asks, as an early career professional, I'm figuring
out how to form meaningful relationships in the office. What
would you say are some effective strategies for navigating power
dynamics in the workplace, especially when interacting with senior leaders
or just colleagues who have more experience than me.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Yeah. You know, the thing is, when it comes to
senior leaders, you're probably not going to be buddy buddy
with them. That's, you know, the reality of it. But
that doesn't mean you can't still establish some form of relationship.
I think the key piece here is you have to
come from a place of authenticity. Nobody likes you know,
somebody who's just kissing up for the promotion or whatever
(16:46):
it might be to get those opportunities. So you really
have to be authentic about how you're you know, approaching
and bringing yourself to this relationship and not just wanting
to be seen as likable so you move up the ladder.
And I really love how Jarah mentions power dynamics because
I think that's where it gets a little messy. You
almost have to just be an observer and like sit
(17:07):
back in a room and see how everyone's moving right.
Like a lot of times, if you're getting moved onto
a new project and you're working with a new team,
you might not know the power dynamics of that team.
And I've totally experienced this, you know, I've gone to
my manager in these moments and been like, Okay, you've
been here longer than me, what do I kind of
need to know? Right? Like I need to go in
(17:27):
and form my own opinion and figure this out for myself.
But he can add some kind of color to give
me guidance as I walk into this, so I'm not
really going in totally blind. So you could always go
to your manager or a mentor for insight. And also
I think when it comes to speaking to senior leaders.
Let's say you want to do a quarterly check in
with somebody who's higher up on your team. You have
(17:50):
to approach them knowing what you want to talk about. Like,
you can't go into these meetings just being like, Hey,
just wanted to see how it's going. You have to
come prepared, and I think during that you know, catch up.
Sometimes you can feel nervous if like, oh, I'm in
the hot seat. I have their time, right, Their time
is valuable, so as yours. But you need to come prepared.
And if they start asking you questions and you're like, oh,
(18:11):
I just don't know like the answer to that, totally
fine to admit that, right, Like not everybody knows everything,
And also don't be afreie to ask them questions like
what's top of mind for them. I think the more
conversational it can be, the better.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah. I always say that you need to present yourself
in the way you want to be received. So if
you want to be perceived as that inexperienced young professional
who just talks a whole lot and never gets work done,
that's how you're going to show up. Show up like that, right,
But to your point, if you're putting one on one,
you know, time with your manager a skip level which
(18:43):
is your manager's manager, or you might even have access
to people a couple of skip levels up right, then
you need to go into those meetings really carrying the
weight of who you want to be seen as. And
the good thing is all it takes is some due diligence,
writing out some note, practicing in front of the mirror
if you get a little shy. I know, for me,
for instance, sometimes when I do one on ones with
(19:05):
our VP, I get tongue tied and I get a
little nervous. So I like to practice, and I like
to have out like post it notes or data points
that I really want to highlight. And to your point,
I always think that showing yourself to be friendly is
always going to carry It doesn't matter if you are
just starting out or if you've been in a company
for thirty forty years. People want to work with nice people,
and so if you can already start doing that, and
(19:26):
if you can start showing yourself to be that person
that people know that they can depend on and that
they can trust, that is really a great way I
think you can navigate senior leaders and show yourself to
be a potential for a senior leader one day.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
I do want to say, like, I think where it
gets the most complicated is not those close work friends
around your age or the relationship with a senior leader,
but the in between, which is the relationship with your manager.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Yeah, that's a really good call out.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
I think what's important to remind yourself too when it
comes to, like especially the relationship with your manager, is
that at the end of the day, they're your boss.
I think I sometimes have taken like a casual approach,
and I have to remind myself, like, Okay, I don't
need to be sharing everything, right, Like, of course there
are things in my head I know that I won't
open up about. But even sometimes, like when it comes
(20:15):
to a workplace problem I'm having, I found myself at
one point going to my manager and like just like
complaining about it, and I was like, wait, Okay, this
is obviously not a good look for me. I need
to come like more with solutions, right, Like, I know
he's there to support me and advocate for me. And
sometimes if I really can't figure it out myself, like
then I'm gonna really need to go to him, but
I can come with solutions, not all of my problems.
(20:37):
So I think it's like really important to remember, like,
at the end of the day, this person is measuring
your performance. They're talking to like higher ups about how
you're doing, so you have to be intentional about how
you kind of communicate with them.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Yeah, And I really want to just like quickly chime
in on that, g because I think that what you
said is so important. I think this is something that
a lot of people will find themselves in at some point.
But I also want to offer a cautionary tale. When
I was growing up, my mama used to always say
to be cautious and mindful about what you say and
(21:09):
who you're saying it too. And sure enough, I don't
think I've ever met a single black or Latino woman
in particular. I'm only speaking from that because that's my experience.
Who is in corporate America who has said otherwise. There
is a level of trust that you have to build
with people, but you also got to make sure that
you look out for yourself. Because the same way as
(21:30):
I might very casually be telling my manager about how
I was turned up on Friday and I was doing
all this during the weekend. Blah blah blah. You don't
know if everyone has your best interest at heart, and
you don't know what malicious intent someone might have that
then when it comes time for promotion or it comes
time for upper mobility, they might be like, actually, I
(21:51):
don't know because so and so they I don't know,
you know, or if I know. Some people might tell
their manager, you know, I'm gonna clock out a little early.
I'm gonna go to yoga, and you think it's all
because you go to yoga. They go to yoga, and
then they're gonna say, actually, we can't put them in
another role because they leave work early. So I would
just say, like, you just have to be careful about
what you tell people. And again, none of this is
(22:13):
set in stone, right. There are some people like I
know Gianna's manager and we both love him very much, so,
but there are other people who all I can just
say is be cautious about who you tell what to.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah, I mean, I feel like everyone could probably relate.
We're not always telling our manager exactly what we did
on the weekend. Chill, it was chill, you know, just
read a book. But yeah, you know, you mentioned this
idea of trust, and I really do think that builds
over time, and you really have to also just trust
your gut with these relationships. Something I really like to
(22:45):
do is just match the other person's energy. Like if
we're talking about work friendships here, you know, I'm gonna
slowly open up as you open up, or like, I'm
not going to take the lead on this. Sometimes I
will if there's like so much safety I feel with
this person, right and we're like bonding in that moment
for sure, But largely I'm going to just try to
match somebody else's energy, so as they start opening up,
(23:06):
I'm going to feel more comfortable doing the same, and
it's a signal that they're starting to trust you so
that you can also trust them. Also totally okay to
have like off the record conversations with people. I've done
this a thousand times, not a thousand, but a lot
of times, a lot you know, being like, hey, like
I'm like just trying to you know, figure something out,
especially like when it comes to pay right, that's like
(23:28):
such a taboo topic, especially in an office setting. Sometimes
I'm like, hey, can we like have an off the
record conversation about X Y? And Z and then you
know you're able to speak transparently with someone. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I would also say for Jira in particular, because this
is something that I've been working on a lot. It's
just the importance of investing in long term friendships or
relationships or situationships.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
No, not the.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Workplace friendly version. Okay, this would be a very different podcast. Otherwise,
I would just say that if you meet a senior
leader or even your manager right, that you really build
a great rapport with your friends, your colleagues, figuring out
those boundaries right again, because again boundary setting is very
important here. But after that, continue to stay on their
(24:15):
radar once a quarter, maybe once every six months. I
love to send former managers if mind, just a quick
note just being like, Hey, still alive here, this is
what I'm up to, still surviving and thriving sometimes, and
it's nice because I think the fear is that people
don't want these friendships to feel transactional. But there's a
(24:37):
way to navigate it in which you are still building
your network, which is going to be the social collateral
that you will have as you pivot and change into
job after job after job, but it still can feel
genuine and unique to you. So send people you know
a thank you note afterward. You know, wish people happy
(24:57):
birthday if you know it's their birthday day, or you know.
Sometimes I will see on social media that someone is
celebrating an anniversary and I wish them a happy anniversary.
Little small things like that, right, Because again, showing yourself
to be kind and friendly and a team player is
going to take you a long way. And one of
the things that I see sometimes is that you will
leave a job and you will leave all those friendships behind.
(25:20):
Now here's the thing. If you leave a job and
that person who you used to chat it up with
every single day y'all used to go about that was
your roll dog. You know, y'all was riding down the
hood together all this stuff. If all of a sudden
they never check for you ever again, now you know
exactly where to place them in your life. But I
do also believe that in that same vein, you can
(25:40):
create real friendships with people who you keep up with.
The person who I told you was in my wedding,
she don't even work here no more. Like, So we
have to actually take an intentional approach to creating that
friendship and keeping it up. But it all started in here,
it went down and LinkedIn and then it's just now
out in the streets. To take a short break, there's
(26:01):
still more talk about friendship and also would you take
a pay cunt for your pet? I got thoughts that's next.
(26:22):
So hopefully after listening to today's episode, you are starting
to ask yourself the questions about workplace friendships and how
you want to go about it. For me, I think
one thing I'm taking away from this conversation is that,
however you want to shake this out, it's okay. You
can have all the friends in the workforce, or you
can have no friends and keep it, you know, just
(26:42):
pushing p P asn't professional like. However you want to
do this, it's up to you. And also I would
say that creating those boundaries is important. Ask yourself and
vet this question. Are you okay with someone knowing whatever
information you're about to give them if they were not
your friend? If the answer is H, actually would not
want somebody to know that, maybe that will also help
(27:04):
evaluate if that's information that you should exchange with someone else.
What about you, Giana.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Something I've learned is that how you prioritize workplace relationships
is just going to naturally shift throughout your career. But
one thing that will kind of always just hold true
is that you want allies and you want community at work,
even if you're not seeking those close friendships. So it
all comes down to like being friendly, showing up, and
like caring about people, but respecting your own boundaries and
(27:30):
being intentional about where and who you're spending your time
and energy with. So you just need to decide that
all for yourself, like you were saying, and you can
never go wrong with just showing up and being friendly.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
I know that's right now talking about being friendly. Uh,
I got something for you, Gianna. Guess what I got?
I got receipts you guys, re seats, But just a
nice little bit we like to do where we pull
things up and we essentially discuss are there receipts to
back up or prove? Honestly, it's all also a good
way from John and I to learn about each other
(28:02):
a little bit more so. This week we are tackling
an interesting myth here.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
We've got a headline this week from Fortune magazine. So
it appears that millennials and gen zers are willing to
take a pay cut so they can spend more time
with their pets. What, you're the dog owner here, so
I'll let you take it first. What do you think?
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Let me get this straight. People want to take less
money so that they can spend more time at home
with their animals that don't pay bills. Yes, absolutely not?
What is what?
Speaker 2 (28:40):
What?
Speaker 3 (28:40):
See?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
You wouldn't?
Speaker 1 (28:43):
My dog had an ear infection last week. I had
to take time off work and take her eight hundred
dollars for them to give me droplets to put in
her ears.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Excuse me?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
What? You want me to take less money? But you
expec like that?
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Absolutely no. That's why she's in commercials because you got
to pay some bills around here, baby girl, Like mommy
cannot do that.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
You're so? She literally does pay the bills.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
She does pay, but she pays for expensive prestige treats. Yes,
but not enough to be covering this. Absolutely not. What
are y'all do?
Speaker 2 (29:16):
I mean?
Speaker 1 (29:16):
I'm so sorry. I don't mean to be that aggressive,
but like, no, and I love my pets so much.
I love my dogs. I love them, but we we
leave them money out on the table.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, I'm not a pet owner, but I can't imagine
that I would take a pay cut for my you know,
unborn pet.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Why.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
But the thing is, like, I posted about this on
LinkedIn because I'm like, whoa this is? I mean, I like,
I just wanted to know, like what are people saying
about this? And honestly, the results really pretty split. Some
members were literally like, yeah, my dog does not pay
my bills or my hamster does not pay my bills.
I'm not gonna take a pay cut. But some people
were like, yeah, I've already done this. I've you know,
taken a pay cut to work remote so I have
(30:00):
or time at home with my pet. But across it all,
people were sharing picks of their pets, which I really appreciated.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
That's the real gift of this, you know. I can
imagine if you have like a low overhead, right, Like,
if it doesn't require a lot of money for you
to live, right, maybe you live in a city that
is a little bit more affordable. Maybe your rent or
your mortgage or whatever situation you're in, you can afford it, right,
maybe taking a slight pay decrease is feasible. I am
(30:27):
a high maintenance woman, like I require it's hard for
me to afford myself. Yeah, let alone. I feel that then,
you know, then let alone. Then adding in the extra
elements of taking care of dogs and living in New
York and then training and all that stuff. So I
also think that there is an opportunity here to say
that this is also a situational thing. Maybe some people
(30:48):
they can afford to do it, but other we gotta
go out here and make this money. Okay, and my
dogs too. I'm about to put the other two in
commercials too. Everybody got to pull their way working. I
feel like I feel like Gypsy, like my mama Rose here,
I am taking my work. Make mama stop baby.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Yeah, I guess it does depend on how much of
a pay cut are we talking, So you guys, let
us know would you take a pay cut for your pets.
We'll discuss it more in the newsletter this week, so
let us know they're in the comments and send us
photos of your pets. Yeah, please? Oh woof speaking because
(31:28):
this was.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
A fun episode. Thank you guys so much for listening.
I'm really enjoying the community we're building here.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Me too, all right. I mentioned the newsletter earlier, and
make sure you're following it. If you're not already, you
can find the link in the show description, also in
the bio of my LinkedIn profile. It's called you Guessed It.
Let's talk offline. We go even deeper into the topics
we discuss on the pod with some exclusive content. And
this week we're gonna be talking about how to build
a relationship with a mentor.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Ooh, very spicy. I'm gonna make sure I read that. Also,
we want to think Yiah for sending in that wonderful question.
We like Jarah, Be like Jarah. You guys, If you
guys have questions for us, make sure you send those in.
Information on how to do that is also in the
show description. Check the show description. Do not say I
don't know how to do some It is in the
(32:16):
show description. Child, okay, and also make sure you go
on and review and follow the podcast. You have been
hanging out with me and Gianna for a few weeks.
Now you like us. Let's make an official.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
One last thing. Remember we have always got your back,
so if something comes up in the meantime, we'll talk offline.
I'm Giana Prdente.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
And I'm Jamie Jackson Gadson, Stay thriving.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Let's Talk Offline is a production of LinkedIn News and
iHeart Podcasts. The show is produced by Western Sound. Our
producer is Sabrina Fang. The show is edited by Savannah Wright.
Our associate producer is Sarah Dilley. Alex mckinnis is our engineer,
and Ben Adair is the executive producer.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Executive producers at iHeart Podcasts are Katrina Noravel, Nikki Etour.
We got support from LinkedIn's Jesse Hemple, Sarah Storm and
Ayana Angel. Maya Pope Chappelle is director of Content, Dave
Pond is head of News Production, Courtney Coop is Head
of Original Programming, and Dan Roth is the editor in
(33:16):
chief of LinkedIn
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