December 17, 2024 • 56 mins
Dramos reflects on the lessons hes taken from the last year, talks about reconnecting with yourself and how achieving goals is just a series of recomittments to ones self.
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Let me talk about So here we go, said he
live in life pas a ringo where you question where
you fit in every time you mingle, they say you do.
This would not that this life lingo.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Yes, hello, and welcome to another sort of life as
a gringo. I am dramas of course, man crazy, you
think this is going to be the last Tuesday episode
of the year of twenty twenty four?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Wild to think we are at the end of another year.
What a year?
Speaker 4 (00:43):
That's If somebody's like, can you describe twenty twenty four?
I would literally just say what a fucking year?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Good, bad, and ugly? Just what a fucking year.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
I I think in the world as a whole, in
this country and probably many of our personal lives, like
what the fuck was twenty twenty four? If I could
speak on behalf of everybody, I feel like a lot
of us are asking that question. But as I've been
(01:13):
getting at and as I've been reflecting personally on the podcast,
these moments that challenge us, I think also provide great
opportunity and provide great insight and provide growth. And I
(01:37):
think the way to really kind of squeeze the most
out of these moments and really allow them to be
something deeper than just a shitty day, a shitty month,
a shitty year. Is to slow down and reflect. And
I think that's why I love like the end of
(01:57):
the year does something to me, and I'm sure a
lot of people's, well. I feel incredibly nostalgic, I feel
oftentimes incredibly grateful, and I think I feel hyper present.
And I think that's what it does when you feel
like you're approaching the end of something, you begin to
take it all in just a bit more and you begin,
I think, to think about where it all started, right
(02:20):
and where you were at the top of the year.
And you know, for me, as I reflect and really
try to squeeze out the lessons that I got from
this year and what I'm trying to take with me
into the new year, and you know what the premise
(02:46):
of today's show is going to be as I was
having that sort of conversation with myself and reflecting, you know.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
It is this idea of.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Gratitude, which I almost I hate that word to a
degree because I feel like it can also feel like
somebody's guess like you just.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Be a bit more grateful, You're not being greatful, you
know you don't have enough gratitude for all that you
have in this life, in this world. Right, you're very
you know, you're taking it for granted.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
And I hate to hear that, probably internally because it
makes me feel like a bad person, but for some
reason it also feels incredibly dismissive of all that you're
going through. On the same hand, they're absolutely right, you know,
Like I hate to say it, but they're absolutely right.
(03:44):
Oftentimes we're taking the present moment for granted, and we're
hyper focused on all that we don't have, rather than
being appreciative for what we do have and seeing the
beauty and the joy and the positive in our present moment. Right,
(04:09):
and again, to teach their own we're all going through
different things, but there is something about that. There's a
reason why the word gratitude keeps fucking coming around, and
why there's gratitude journals and all these things. Right, And
I think also something that has been a prominent idea
for me, even sort of operating in the background, is
(04:33):
the idea of reconnection and reconnection with myself and who
I am and what I want and what I love.
And it actually what put that into like actual words
For me, I've been reading this book called The Genius Zone,
(04:55):
and they talk about this idea of recommitting.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Many of us.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
We set a goal and like, we're great at the beginning,
and then we like have one slip up and we
just end up in like this downward spiral, going in
the complete opposite direction of our goal, and then we
end up being the shit out of ourselves as a result.
And the book talks about how the sort of slip
up is normal and inevitable and how everybody goes through that.
(05:29):
Nobody is able to be perfect and do everything right
every day all the time.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
But what sets apart.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Those who achieve their goal is after that slip up,
rather than going into a sort of extended downward spiral,
they instead take that moment to recommit to the goal
and get themselves back on track right. They don't dwell
(05:57):
on the fuck up. They don't dwell on the slip up.
They say, Okay, we were human. Now we're recommitted to
the goal. And what gets you to the goal is
not being perfect day in the day out. What gets
you to the goal is a series of recommitments to
the goal. When you do inevitably slip up, and I
(06:17):
found out to be comforting in many ways, and I
found sort of peace in that for whatever reason, and
I feel like it's something I'm taking with me into
twenty twenty five.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
And yeah, I really sit here.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
And in the present moment, life is good, right, not perfect.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
So many things I want to do to see, to experience,
to achieve that.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
I haven't yet, that I don't have a clear path
towards just yet. But even with all that said, life
is good and life is this present moment right here.
Life isn't the past, Life isn't the future. Life is
(07:27):
right here right now. And I don't know if I'm
talking in circles here, but I guess one thing, all right.
So I have a few quotes that I also put aside,
(07:50):
and one of the quotes that kind of hit hard
as I was like thinking about this topic and like
how I wanted to frame it for the purpose of,
you know, a podcast episode, one of the stoics, Seneca says,
don't lose the day in expectation of the night, and
(08:11):
the night in fear of the dawn. And I guess
for me why that hit me like a ton of bricks,
because as I sort of set off onto this next
chapter of my life, of my journey, of my career,
(08:31):
of what I want of chasing new goals. I recognize
how much time I spent not living in the present
moment and how much I took for granted as a result,
(08:52):
and I kind of wanted to touch on that to
a degree, And I guess what my frame of mind
is going in twenty twenty five and takeaways from the year,
you know, all that I've.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Sort of gone through and the ups and downs of
it all.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
So today's really an episode of reflection, of a reminder
live in the present, and a recommitment to.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Oneself. So with that in mind, let's get into Army
hit that segment.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Now. I mentioned this in the last episode where I
was talking about like looking at these old photos in
my phone from like, you know, years past or whatever,
(09:52):
and recognizing that I was living out so much of
what I dreamed of and that I was so close
to all that.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
I wanted, but in the moment couldn't see things that way.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
And it's only now in retrospect, older, more mature, sort
of not having those things in my life on a
regular basis anymore, those moments being able to look at
it and say wow, man, like you were doing it.
And I think this has been a crazy year of
(10:33):
like I don't want to say loss, but loss. I
think it feels like so much was stripped away from me.
And not to say that I'm in like, you know,
I feel like I want to make sure I'm not
exaggerating it to myself, right, because then I miss the
(10:55):
I miss the blessing that it is to still be
able to do what I love on a daily basis.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Right.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
So it's not like I've had all that taken away
from me, right, And it could be a lot worse,
But I've basically had a more minimalist life this year.
I've had a lot of things that I thought were
going to happen fall through, a lot of walls hit right,
(11:20):
and basically really had to get comfortable with the idea
of things not panning out as I had planned. And
I reflect on this year and it sounds cliche, but
I have a level of gratitude because I feel like.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
It made me hyper aware to the fact that none
of this is to be taken for granted.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
And I almost I feel like a bad person saying that,
because it's like dumh right, there are so many people
wishing and dreaming to get to do what I do
or any of us. Right, if you are living a
life where you have anything, there's somebody who's envious of it.
(12:21):
You have a partner, a family, at a home, a job,
there's somebody who wishes they had that right now, right
And for me, as I like reflect back on that
time period where all these things were happening, but I
still felt like nothing was happening, dude, I took that
(12:42):
for granted.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Man.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
Like in twenty twenty, the beginning of it, and I
mentioned this, I got to play in front of a
sold out crowd at my dream venue, right the venue
that I went to see my first like EDM act
like my DJ concert, and I remember saying to myself,
(13:08):
one day, I'm gonna be on that stage.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
And I remember on Instagram I.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Would watch videos of DJ's like there's one in particular
that sticks in my mind, and this DJ, he had
his camera members right behind him as he did his
like intro and his entrance.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
And it was just huge, and I remember it gave
me chills.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
And it's at that venue and just be like, man,
one day I'm gonna step foot on that stage and
get to play.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
And then I got that opportunity, and I was taking.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
It for granted because I had a couple other big opportunities, right,
And for me, it was like, it's cool, but I'm opening,
I'm not headlining, they're not here to see me.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I don't get to play exactly what.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
I want to play after kind of play to this
bigger artist's crowd, right and be respectful of like the
fact that I'm an opener, you know, and all those
things and all of that sort of cheapened the experience.
(14:16):
And I did that to myself, and I also took
it for granted, like, you know what, I'll be back here.
So it's like, you know, let's just get through a
type of thing. And I think in the moment, I
was happy, I was grateful, but I was still like
thinking to myself, like whatever, man, Like I got to
(14:38):
figure out what I'm doing my life type of thing.
And it's like, bro, you're you're thinking about everything except
for the fact that you're living out one of your
biggest goals. And how hard it is, how hard it was,
how many years it took me to get to the
point that I knew the right people to be considered
(14:58):
to get on that stage. Took me so fucking long,
so long into my career to get to that stage.
And now in twenty twenty five, I could say this.
I haven't announced it yet, but I'll say it here
(15:19):
to the FAM. January tenth, I get to go back
onto that stage.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
And my.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Reaction to it this time around was so different. Even
right now, I like, I feel it, like the tears
are watering, my eyes are wading up, and I feel
the emotion behind it. I cried when I got the
news that it was happening. When the email came in,
I called my parents, you know.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Like.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
That sort of deep ground attitude and not taking it
for granted. This time around. It only came as a
result of me going through the journey that I've gone through,
of understanding how difficult it is to find success, how
lucky I was to find consistent success, and even though
(16:18):
I put in the hard work, that still doesn't guarantee
the success. And I was fortunate that the opportunities kept
presenting themselves that I got in at a certain time.
But as things got more difficult and it became harder
and harder to continue to ascend to the next level.
(16:42):
And having all these things sort of stripped away or
not come to fruition made me makes me realize how
lucky I am to have any sort of opportunity. And
you know, same situation in January. I'm opening, I'm not headlining,
but i'm and and by the way, those intrusive thoughts
(17:03):
still come up. I was like, I went from being
super excited and just walking in Cloud nine, and then
a couple of days later, I'm thinking, like, all right,
you know it's this is like a more difficult artist
to open for it. It's kind of like it's a
different genre of like E. D M. And like particularly
(17:26):
opening a cold room, like you know, when when people
are ask people are coming in and building building up
until the.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
You know, headliner comes on. It's difficult, especially in this genre.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
So then my imposter syndrome starts coming in of me
not being able to do it, and then I just
start telling myself like or I start getting frustrated, like, oh,
this isn't the right situation, this isn't the right you know,
a fun moment.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
This is gonna be the best thing, or it's not
gonna be that fun.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
And I have to check myself and say that none
of that matters, right, This is so much big, bigger
than that. This is a beautiful, amazing opportunity that you
work so hard for.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
And not only that, but for me sort of.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Having a real conversation with myself about how much music
means to me and playing it and getting to perform
it and all that comes along with it, and being
so upset that I allowed myself to deviate from it
for so long and that.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I didn't appreciate it back then and as a result,
I like easily walked away from it. This moment.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Is me sort of being able to pick up where
I left off, which is like the ultimate gift, right
because the fear was like, Man, did I fucking ruin
and waste the moment that I had? But I think
it's also a proof where the things that are meant
for you in this life will always find a way
(19:07):
to come back to you. And as silly as it
is with djaying and music and stuff like that on
the surface, as it sounds like that's a spiritual thing
for me. That's something I can't escape, This deep love
for performing and playing music and creating it and doing
(19:28):
all these things and as much as I lie to
myself and tell myself it's not what I want, it's
not big enough for me, and all these different things,
I keep getting drawn back to it. And to me,
this was like God and the universe bringing me back
(19:48):
to where I'm supposed to be. And the moment isn't
lost on me. And I think you're you know, we
hear these sayings like you're presented with stuff when when
you're actually able to really receive them. And back then,
(20:14):
I wasn't ready to receive those blessings because I always
kept moving the goalpost to the next thing. And it's
why I was a workaholic, It's why I didn't take
care of myself physically mentally, it's why I didn't have
solid relationships.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Because it's always.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
On to the next thing. And I think, you have
to be hungry, you have to have desire, but you
can't take for granted all that's happening in the present moment.
And I took life for granted. And I think now
(21:03):
this sort of reconnection as a result of things being
taken away or minimized or stripped away, there's been a
profound increase in my happiness, my ability to see and
appreciate all that I have. I know we're striving for more,
(21:23):
and that's beautiful. I plan on doing gigantic things, but
I'm not cheapening the present moment.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
And I think so many of us are living in
a place where.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
We just cheapen our current reality because we're fantasizing about
being somewhere else. And I think it's why so many
people are incredibly unhappy, because they've trained their mind to
think happiness lies anywhere else except for the present moment.
(21:54):
And again, it doesn't mean you can't be striving for
other things and goal setting and whatever it might be,
and continue to elevate your life and add to it.
But even when you obtain those things, if you haven't
trained your mind to find happiness in the present moment,
it's a never ending, perpetual cycle of striving for the
next thing you keep. It's the idea of like imagining
(22:16):
that happiness is right around the corner, rather than understanding
happiness can be found right now in the present moment,
and it's essential to find it in the present moment
if you're ever going to enjoy the fruits of your labor,
and you're ever going to enjoy this thing called life.
And like I said, I've written down a couple of
quotes and this one's from wherein that Han and it
(22:38):
stuck with me. The quote is life can be found
only in the present moment. The past is gone, the
future is not here yet. And if we do not
go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot
be in touch with life.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Sorry thick not Han said that.
Speaker 4 (22:59):
If we do not go back to ourselves in the
present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
You're not living unless you are able to just be.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
That sounds so fucking cliche and like, yeah, I'm trying
to work just be into it, but really that's the
whole concept of fucking just be right when I did
that whole retreat, and that stuck with me.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
It's like, this is life. What's happening right now? Is life?
Speaker 4 (23:36):
All of its beauty is happening right now. It's not
in some far off land or some fucking gold that
you check off the box and all of a sudden
life becomes beautiful. You have to find beauty in life
right now. And again it's because of the way our
mind works.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
What you do.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
And and and how you react and how you process things.
It trains your mind for how you're going to process
everything moving forward. So if you are unable to find
happiness in the present moment, if you're constantly cheapening the
present moment, dude, you're going to keep doing that, even
when you have a million dollars in the bank, even
(24:15):
when you you know are living out your dream job,
in your dream city, living in your dream house. Your
mind is trained to find a reason to take you
out of the present moment and tell you you need
something else. Because you've done that, because you keep escaping
the present moment, you keep not appreciating the present moment.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
That training, that that groove in your brain.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
Will continue on regardless of what you have in the physical,
regardless of what you've been able to manifest. And that's
why I think so many wealthy, so many successful people
are unhappy because their mind is to look for what
they don't have.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
And that's the sickening thing about being a human being.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
You could have so fucking much and still trick yourself
into thinking you need more, or it's not enough, or
whatever it might be. The grass is always green on
the side, right, That cliche saying it's for a reason.
So that's like when you hear people talk about if
you can't be happier now, you're not gonna be happy
when you get what you want. Yeah, because you have
(25:26):
to develop the mindset of looking for the good in
the present moment, of being able to enjoy and appreciate
the present moment. Because without that mindset, without the development
of that mindset, you're never gonna find the happiness that
you're searching for. It's always gonna seem like it's right
(25:47):
around the corner. Even if your fucking you know, driving
your dream car. You know you're gonna it seems like, oh,
but the real dream car is right around the corner
type of thing, right, everything, and literally it's only in
reflection that you realize, Man, I had it so fucking good.
(26:07):
Wasn't perfect, but fuck there was so much to be
grateful for, right, That's what I felt looking at those
old pictures. Yes it wasn't perfect, Yes there were struggles,
but fuck was I doing cool things that I enjoyed,
that I loved doing, things that I.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Talked about and dreamed about fucking doing.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
And it's only now that I wasn't doing them, And
don't have them in my life that I reflect back
and realize how special that moment was that time period. Right,
It's just like as you get older and you realize,
you know, I don't want to see your best years
of behind you, but.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
I wouldn't want to relieve my twenties, you know, to
be quite fair.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
But I think about my twenties, and I think about
how that mindset was that this is basically gonna last forever,
This care free, nothing really matters moment was gonna kind
of last.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
I didn't think past it.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
And you recognize as much as I maybe don't want
to live that on a day to day basis anymore,
that was a special moment in time of exploration and
finding myself. Those moments had value, But because I was
always thinking of the next thing, I didn't stop to
think about and appreciate the value. And I want to
touch on a couple of things. So we'll pause here,
(27:25):
we'll take a quick break, and a couple more things
I want to I want to touch on. All right,
we are back, and one of the things I want
to touch on is like a moment I had this
past weekend or friday. The radio station I work for
in New York City's E one hundred has like an
annual concert called jingle Ball, And if you grew up
(27:49):
in the New York City areas, it's a big deal.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
It's like the biggest concert.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
And you know, it's that Master Square Garden, a bunch
of giant artists, and it's like one of those things
that like everybody who grew in this area, we always
tried to get tickets because it sells out in like
three seconds. And I've been fortunate enough to be a
part of it for years now. At this point, they
do a pre show at Hammerstiginn Ballroom, which is another
(28:15):
big venue here in New York. And I've been fortunate
enough to DJ it for years at this point, right, And.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
I always would.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
Look at what I didn't have, right, because I was like,
all right, I'm the DJ. But all of the jocks,
like the people who are radio personalities on air, they
get to do cooler stuff. They're doing interviews, right, They're
on stage at Madison Square Garden introducing artists and like
(28:46):
they're treated as like the stars for the day, you know,
And as a DJ, I'm not getting the same treatment.
It's kind of like, all right, well you know, you know,
it's I'm not like, in my mind, I'm just like
a forgotten element or whatever. Right in my mind, I
go up there and play some music and it's done,
(29:08):
and I have to watch and I watch everybody else
sort of like living out these big moments. Right in
the past, I would always be like, man, wait till
I get to you know, my goal is to be
on air. Wait un till I get to be the
one introducing on stage. That would be the moment. Wait
till I'm doing interviews, that'd be the moment like, Okay,
you guys are shitting on me, now, wait until I'm
(29:29):
doing Wait till I'm that person.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
And these are like radio shows, so it's like a
mixed crowd of like ages.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
So I'm not like playing these like sets that I'm
like would record and be proud to share to the world.
Like I'm just trying to get people to sing along
and have fun and like, you know, some corny pop
songs to a degree or stuff to dance to. And
I would always like devalue it as like you know, oh,
this is like you know, cheap DJing type of thing.
(30:00):
And this was the first year I can honestly say
that I was on stage and you know, there's how
many thousand people there or whatever, and I genuinely was
just like, I'm enjoying myself. Like I was able to
stop in the moment while on stage and remind myself,
(30:25):
take this in. This is special, and I felt so
grateful and happy in that moment. And this was the
first time, and not to say a couple times I
had a couple of flare ups of like envy, but
this was the first time for the most part that I.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Was just like, you know what, this is great.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
I'm so happy and lucky to be here, and I'm
just gonna go with the flow and enjoy myself and
do my part.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
And that's it.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
And what's actually fucking crazy is so what oftentimes will
happen is after I'm the DJ, the concert thing is
as at massa Square Garden, and uh again, I'm not
you know, I have nothing to do with that point.
I'm just hanging out because I already done my my
my gig. So like you're at mass regarding your backstage
like again, ridiculous fucking honor. That's where New York Knicks
(31:22):
and the Rangers play, and like you know, every gigantic
artist in the world dreams of coming to play and
you're walking around backstage and like bumping into people, you know,
like this person's walking by you and that person. I'm
not gonna name job because that's attacking. But Robert Denier
was there. I will say that anyway. But uh, but
(31:45):
normally I would be most of the time they would
give me a pass. I would walk in, I'd be
like fuck this and just walk out, like like they
think about that. You have people calling left and right
to buy tickets or people like upset they couldn't buy tickets,
and then they're begging, you know, to get tickets, you know,
the giveaways and things like that. Here i am with
(32:07):
the fucking all access pass and I'm like, fuck, this
just sucks, you know, like like that that tells you
everything you need to know right of not living in
the present moment. And again this was the year where
I was like, hey, I would just say to go,
i'mna have fun. I don't really care, like even because
(32:28):
they have like also with these passes, it's like you
have all access, but there's like extra badges to get
into extra restricted areas, like where like the Free Booze
and food are and like, I've always been of the
type where I'm like, I'm not gonna ask somebody for that,
Like they should just give it to me, so we whatever.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
If I don't get it, fuck them.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
So but this year I was like, dude, if I
have to go buy a hot dog and a beer
by myself on like the mezzanine of Mad Square Garden,
I'm gonna enjoy myself.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
I'm just gonna this is what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
But life rewards good energy of you just being like
in a great happy place right Because I walked in
there just happy as could be to fucking hang out.
What happens as I'm walking in, I run into another
person I work with at iHeart and he's got the juice,
he's got the connects, and he's like, oh, I'll see
it that loundes and I'm just like, you know, yeah,
(33:15):
I don't have a passport, but it's cool, man. I'll
be around just hanging out and he's like, nah, no way,
and he walks me through, gets me a pass for
like the VIP of VIP lounges, and I end up
just boozing it up and eating amazing food. The entire
night and just literally, even though I'm not the one
on stage like I had dreamed about in Madison Square Garden,
I'm having the time of my life and I'm bullshitting
(33:36):
with coworkers. I'm just like, you know, eating case ideas
and drinking free beer and just enjoying the moment for
the first time. This is literally I've done this, I
think maybe five years.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
I've done five years of this.
Speaker 4 (33:51):
This is the first time I can honest say I'm like,
from start to finish it, I had such a fucking
great time, like just appreciate it and loved the moment
and at a blast man, just had such a good
fucking time. And that is all the result of like
(34:13):
having a perspective shift because life kicked you in the
fucking face and made you recognize stop taking this shift
for granted, Stop taking the moment for granted, just because
it doesn't look exactly how you would hope or you
would you did hope or you hoped it would. There
you go English, And I think that's so much of like.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Of what it is.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
We often have this expectation as to what life is
supposed to look like, and when it doesn't look exactly
how it's supposed to look like.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
We then are like, oh, well, it sucks because it
doesn't look like what it's supposed to look like.
Speaker 4 (34:57):
It's like, dude, no, it's not going to always look
like what it does in your mind. In fact, most
of the time, it never looks like. That doesn't mean
it's fucking bad. Different doesn't mean bad, or just because
it's you're not exactly there yet, but you're experiencing a
slice of what you want.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Enjoy that fucking slice. Right.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
That's like how little kids when they have to like
share something, right, they'll like have a temp a tantrum,
right if there's like one donut and you're like, hey,
you got to share it with your brother, and then
they flip the fuck out and they're like, no, I
don't even want it then, And in your mind, as
an adult, you're like, you know how fucking crazy that
(35:44):
sounds that you're willing to not have this at least
half of this delicious donut because you're not getting the
entire thing.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
That's what we do as adults each and every day.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
By not appreciating the present moment, we sacrifice the joy
that we could just because it's not as much joy
as we think we're supposed to be getting. It's wild,
it's silly, it's childish, but we do it every day.
And I think I use that word reconnecting, or I
(36:21):
guess if I could say what was the theme of
this year was, it was reconnection, reconnection with myself, reconnection
with the kid who was striving for something right, the
kid who, when he first got into radio, was so
fucking grateful and appreciative that he got to open for
(36:44):
free at a random radio station event for one of
their DJs.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
Like I was on fucking cloud nine.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
I felt like I made it, and then I I
lost that little by little because I wanted more, wanted more,
and when it wasn't more, I then sucked all the
fucking joy that I should have felt out of that
moment because it wasn't what I wanted it to be.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
It wasn't exactly what I wanted it to be.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
And I think a lot of us have to take
time to sort of reconnect and realize how far we've come,
appreciate how far we come, Appreciate that while we may
not be where we want to be, appreciate where we are,
wherever it is there's.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Something to be found to appreciate, and I think.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
You have to stop and find yourself, you know, at
times you have to.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
rEFInd yourself.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
I think life is so fucking crazy and oftentimes so
fucking stressful that it's easy to just get lost in
it all and you're just doing what you got to
do to fucking survive, and in doing that, you've become
like this fucking zombie who is just a shell of
the person they used to be. And that's what leads
(38:17):
us down, this sort of spiral of unhappiness and sadness
and depression and all that comes along with it, because
we've gotten so far away from who we are and
what makes us happy, because we've just been fucking surviving
and looking forward to the next thing, right, Like, I
(38:39):
think of an analogy, like when I was a kid,
I was a senior in high school and in the suburbs,
everybody had a car. I was the only one that
didn't have a car. I was younger, so I got
my license later than everybody else. On top of that,
I didn't get my first until I was starting college
(39:02):
the following year, so I had to borrow my parents' car.
So my mom carpooled, so every other day I would
have her car, but on those days I didn't have
her car, I had to walk home. And as a
seventeen year old senior in high school, it's embarrassing to
(39:26):
fucking walk home when everybody else is in friends cars
or driving their own car. As stupid as it sounds now,
it mattered at that time, and I would be so
fucking ashamed and embarrassed, and I would go somewhere else
mentally to get me through that. It's not gonna had
(39:47):
a far walk, which is silly and now I think
about it, but I would go somewhere else mentally.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
I would Mentally, I would be.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
In my dream car, which at the time was a
Chevy Trailblazer, and I was driving home from school in
that car or driving around living my best life, and
I would be customizing the car in my head, and
you know, picking out the songs I'd be listening to.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
And that got me through, like blocking.
Speaker 4 (40:17):
Out watching who was driving by me in embarrassment. And
I think so many of us, myself included, we go
through life every day doing a version of that, living
somewhere else in our head other than the present moment.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
Just to get through it.
Speaker 4 (40:44):
And that is seeing only being, you know, only focusing
on the negative. Right, You're only focusing on the fact
that moment sucks, and like you're just focusing on every
aspect about it that sucks, and every car that drives by,
you know, and what they must be thinking about you,
and all those things. You're not looking for any positive
and as a result, you end up becoming just like
(41:06):
the zombie to survive, like I said, and I think
you do that enough, you end up losing yourself.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
You end up.
Speaker 4 (41:20):
Getting further and further away from who you are and
who you want to be. And that's again why I
love this end of the year because as you reflect
and you sort of endeafinitely you can help but just
think about the year and think about the next one.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
It gives you a moment to sort of.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
Analyze where you are and where you want to be
and all that's happened and to just stop and reflect
for a second. And with that, I think reflect reconnection
can come if you make it a priority. And I
think that's sort of what I've done and tried to do,
(42:03):
and I think what has sort of given me this
optimism going into the new year, and I had optimism
going into this year, going twenty twenty four, but it's
a different optimism. It's not one of waiting for the
next explosive opportunity. It's optimism of being grateful and happy
(42:29):
with what I'm currently doing and just looking forward to
more of that. And I think that is the shift
that I needed to make, and maybe that's why some
of the challenges I faced this year needed to happen
so that I could sort of tweet that a little bit.
(42:49):
And I'll end on that idea of recommitting right that
book I mentioned the Genius Owner the idea they talk
about recommitting.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Because I think what often.
Speaker 4 (43:07):
Happens as we go on these journeys, and I think
what hardens us and makes us frustrated and.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Upset is not only the disappointments of.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Life from external circumstances, but I think the moments where
we fall short of what we know we're capable of.
It's like you're on a diet, you're doing really fucking well,
and then like you have that one cheat meal that
goes way too far and it just opens up Pandora's
box of like, well, fuck it, I already ate shitty
(43:42):
on Wednesday, I might as well ride this thing out
until next week. And then next week comes along and
you're kind of you're so far off track at that
point because you've just been fucking breaking your diet, like
I had, you know, like a no carbs diet, and
you had like one dinner bun, you know, you went
out to eat, and you're like, fucking don't have one
(44:02):
dinner bun next thing. You know, you're just fucking carving
it up for the you know, and you're like, you
know what, I'll restart. There's no carp thing next week.
And oftentimes we've gone too far off the edge here
where we're just fucking dinner bump with every meal at
that point, right, and uh, and that is why we
(44:25):
fail or why we deviate, or why like we fall
off track and go so far in the wrong direction
until we like it gets so bad. They were like, fuck, man,
I'm so far off from my goal and what I wanted.
Speaker 3 (44:39):
And then you're mad at yourself and you're beating yourself up.
Speaker 4 (44:42):
Right, maybe you're like had a saving this goal and
you got tempted and you bought something on eBay, you know, hypothetical.
Of course I'm not talking about myself or anything. And
at that point you're like, fuck it, you know, I
might as well. I could do a couple more things.
And then all of a sudden you're like, dude, I
I can't believe the money I had set aside for this.
(45:03):
I just blew it on some random shit. And then
it's like, fuck now I have to start all over again.
And you're mad at yourself and you're beating yourself up
and you're angry. And in this book they talk about
the idea of like when you slide, you first of all,
can't beat yourself up over it, because oftentimes it makes
(45:25):
you backslide. Even even further, understand that that is human.
You're going to inevitably, at some point unfortunately deviate from
the path at hand. But the ability to achieve that
(45:45):
goal and to not downward spiral is to accept the
fact that you slipped up, but then recommit to your
intended goal in that moment.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Right, So, I've had this goal.
Speaker 4 (46:06):
I'm trying not to eat out as much like Uber eats,
and I think about how much money I spend on
one meal unnecessarily because of fees and everything. I'm like,
I'm paying you know, You're into paying fucking twenty dollars
for a chipot Lebourrita that costs what ten bucks or
something like that, and it's like, dude, I'm paying double
the money because I'm a being too lazy to leave
my house and b I'm not cooking the food that's
(46:28):
been sitting in my fridge and freezer.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
So my goal is like, all right, chill out with that.
Speaker 4 (46:36):
And there have been times where it's like, oh, I'm
especially this last week, I like time got away from
me and I.
Speaker 3 (46:45):
Was like, I don't have time to cook. I gotta
get get it out of the house.
Speaker 4 (46:47):
Like if I spend a half an hour cooking a meal,
then I'm not gonna have time to like prep for
my DJ gig. So I end up like fuck and
I'm gonna uber eat something because I have to eat whatever.
But I realign with the goal in mind. The next day,
(47:09):
I end up like, all right, fuck it. Yesterday I
broke my rule. I'm planning a further ahead today where
I'm going to now in the morning create a bit
more structure so that I do have time to cook
a meal before I have to leave the house.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
Right.
Speaker 4 (47:24):
That's me recommitting to that goal. I'm not beating the
shit out of myself. I'm not making myself feel bad.
I'm also not going on a downwards buyo where I
just say fuck it, we're gonna make it rain and
uber eats. I was saying, Okay, I fell short a
little bit here, but that's where it ends. I'm recommitting
to what I want.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
And I think that is a beautiful.
Speaker 4 (47:50):
I think takeaway that I had that I'm going to
carry into twenty twenty five that life isn't about being
perfect at your intended goal. It's about taking note in
the moments that you slip up and recommitting to that goal.
Like goal, achieving a goal isn't about being perfect. It's
(48:11):
a series of recommitments of the second. It's like it's
like driving a car. I think the book that uses example.
You know you're driving a car. It's not just like
ten and two arms straight. The entire time. You're like
adjusting the wheel to stay on the road right.
Speaker 3 (48:27):
The road curves.
Speaker 4 (48:30):
You know, you inevitably, you know, move your hand a
little bit and the car shifts and you have to
readjust if you didn't do that, you'd probably drive yourself
off a fucking cliff and never get to your intended target.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Right.
Speaker 4 (48:45):
So that's what it is to achieve a goal. It's
just a series of recommitments of readjustments along the path.
And just like you don't beat the shit out of
yourself every time you have to, you know, steer the
car in a particular direction and to stay on the road.
You accept that that's a normal part of driving every day.
Speaker 3 (49:06):
You have to accept that.
Speaker 4 (49:07):
On your goal, your your path towards your goal, it's
going to be the same thing, a series of little
readjustments and recommitments, and eventually you get to where you
want to be. Last thing before I get it here too,
I want to say it's like a takeaway of twenty
twenty five. Stop chasing the explosive wins, And I say
it to myself. Every day is not going to provide
(49:31):
the email you've been waiting for, the opportunity you've been
waiting for. And that doesn't mean that today is any
less relevant or important. More often than not, life is
about the grunt work that you do each and every day,
the little fucking things that don't seem like they're moving
(49:52):
the needle very far, but you show up and do them. Anyway,
that is ninety nine percent of the game. Those little
things you do, those lead to those big explosive wins.
But it's the showing up when you don't feel like it.
It's the moments that you feel like you're fucking you know,
you're like treading through mud and you're just barely getting
(50:15):
across the finish line. Like yesterday, I had one of
those days where it was like I'm like literally, you know,
face palming and like forcing myself like, oh my god,
I'm so tired. I don't feel like sitting in front
of computer or doing anything. But I push past, do
what I have to get done, and go the fuck
to bed. Right, But that is a day that needs
(50:38):
to happen, the little grunt work, and eventually one of
those emails that I sent out doing the grunt work,
one of the little things that I did, you know
that I did yesterday, will lead to that big explosive wind.
But again, it's the result of doing the work even
on the days I don't feel like it, and being
(51:00):
okay with doing the dirty work that has zero fucking gratification,
immediate gratification in it. That's why NBA players who are
the greatest in the world still have practice, right. It's
why Kobe Bryant was in the gym at four in
the morning shooting free throws even though he was the
best player in the world. It's that little grunt work
(51:22):
that then leads to championships, that leads to the wins
in the game, that lead to the big moments to
get replayed on fucking Sports Center and ESPN, And it
gets you gotta remind yourself of is like, stop chasing
the big moments, not prioritizing the big moment. Stop thinking
that you are not on the right path just because
(51:42):
you're not having a big explosive win every day, that
you can do the little grunt work that's a fucking win.
I've been like, I've been reflecting as I brush my teeth,
as I like, you know, walk into my bedroom, I'm like,
what do we do well today? I'm like, oh, we
got all these little things. Emails were sent out. It's
why my to do list and like at the beginning
(52:03):
of the day, it starts in like red, and as I,
you know, cross off things, I highlight them in green.
And when I look at that to do list and
I see a whole bunch of green. I'm like, you
fucking killed it today, right, even.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
If it was little things.
Speaker 4 (52:13):
Send an email to this person, schedule this right, book
this hotel for your friend's wedding. Highlight that shit and green.
That's a win, right. And then I'm like, what could
I have done better? You know what, I didn't wake
up with my first alarm like I hoped. You know,
I was feeling a little sluggish this morning. I'd like
to give myself that extra you know, thirty minutes of
(52:35):
time to work on something early in the morning while
it's still quiet. I'm not beating myself up, just making
a note of it, right, And that's that's what we
have to do, is like that little those little winds,
those little non you know, those moments that feel non essential,
that feel silly, that feel like there's not much going on.
That's we have to recognize, like all that adds up
(52:57):
to the big moments. I hope that makes sense, But yeah,
that's my I guess my reflections for twenty twenty four
going into twenty twenty five. With that said, that's time
that we talked about today anat Little Bow and a
segment called Conclusion STU.
Speaker 1 (53:12):
Time for conclusion.
Speaker 3 (53:14):
So I don't I'm not gonna do like a summer.
Speaker 4 (53:21):
I feel like I dove into everything pretty heavily and
quite frankly, or quite honestly, A lot of it was
like train of thoughts.
Speaker 3 (53:27):
I don't even know what the fuck I just talked about.
Speaker 4 (53:28):
But what I will say is this, take some time
to reflect as this year ends, and try and reconnect,
you know, see where you may have lost yourself along
the way, whether it's this year, whether it's years of
doing so. I think just just clarity is the greatest
gift you can give yourself, really refining who you are,
(53:50):
what it is that you want, What have you been
doing that that you think is no longer you or
not serving you anymore. I think reconnecting with yourself, right,
I guess that's the one of the words, the keywords
of this of today's episode, and also recommitting to your
goals right and doing so, not beating the ship to
yourself if you've deviated from the path, but understanding this
(54:13):
is all part of the process. Recommitment is part of
the process. Even if you fell off a day ago,
a week ago, a month ago, a year ago, you
can reconnect now. So you can recommit now and get
back on track towards your goal and living life as
you should. Again recommitting, And yeah, I guess that's the
(54:34):
biggest thing. And it's just like this present moment. I
think it's understanding, man, Like, all the success in the
world means nothing. If you never learned how to appreciate
the present moment what you have, you could always chase
and want more. Look at these billionaires who for no
reason are being greedy as fuck because they live in
this mindset of thinking they need more.
Speaker 3 (54:56):
They've never adjusted to just being happy.
Speaker 4 (55:00):
To them, it's never enough, right they get a yacht,
some other guy gets a bigger yacht, and then that's
the next fucking thing, and it turns them into these
maniacs who aren't happy with their their present life. And
that's not something to strive for. And I think we
all want to be better than that. So yeah, I
(55:21):
think just use this energy of reflection, of anticipation for
the next year and all these things like as it
means to reconnect with yourself and just get back to living.
One more quote that I found that I really liked,
uh was a prom anonymous. It says, if you have
(55:42):
one eye on yesterday and one eye on tomorrow. You're
gonna be cock eyed today. That's a silly quote, but
I appreciate it. Nobody wants to be walking around cock
guide if they could help it. Noth wrong if you are,
But you know, I don't think anybody is striving to
do that. So present moment, man, that's the that's the key.
Speaker 3 (56:07):
You can have.
Speaker 4 (56:07):
You could be motivated for the future while still understanding
there's joy and happiness to be found in the present
moment as well.
Speaker 3 (56:19):
With that said, I'll catch.
Speaker 4 (56:20):
You on Thursday for our Thursday Trends episode, our last
one of twenty twenty four, which is wild to even say.
Speaker 3 (56:27):
So that stays safe and we shall talk soon.
Speaker 4 (56:33):
Life as a Goodgo is a production of the micro
Thura podcast network and iHeartRadio.
Let me talk about So here we go, said he
live in life pas a ringo where you question where
you fit in every time you mingle, they say you do.
This would not that this life lingo.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Yes, hello, and welcome to another sort of life as
a gringo. I am dramas of course, man crazy, you
think this is going to be the last Tuesday episode
of the year of twenty twenty four?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Wild to think we are at the end of another year.
What a year?
Speaker 4 (00:43):
That's If somebody's like, can you describe twenty twenty four?
I would literally just say what a fucking year?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Good, bad, and ugly? Just what a fucking year.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
I I think in the world as a whole, in
this country and probably many of our personal lives, like
what the fuck was twenty twenty four? If I could
speak on behalf of everybody, I feel like a lot
of us are asking that question. But as I've been
(01:13):
getting at and as I've been reflecting personally on the podcast,
these moments that challenge us, I think also provide great
opportunity and provide great insight and provide growth. And I
(01:37):
think the way to really kind of squeeze the most
out of these moments and really allow them to be
something deeper than just a shitty day, a shitty month,
a shitty year. Is to slow down and reflect. And
I think that's why I love like the end of
(01:57):
the year does something to me, and I'm sure a
lot of people's, well. I feel incredibly nostalgic, I feel
oftentimes incredibly grateful, and I think I feel hyper present.
And I think that's what it does when you feel
like you're approaching the end of something, you begin to
take it all in just a bit more and you begin,
I think, to think about where it all started, right
(02:20):
and where you were at the top of the year.
And you know, for me, as I reflect and really
try to squeeze out the lessons that I got from
this year and what I'm trying to take with me
into the new year, and you know what the premise
(02:46):
of today's show is going to be as I was
having that sort of conversation with myself and reflecting, you know.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
It is this idea of.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Gratitude, which I almost I hate that word to a
degree because I feel like it can also feel like
somebody's guess like you just.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Be a bit more grateful, You're not being greatful, you
know you don't have enough gratitude for all that you
have in this life, in this world. Right, you're very
you know, you're taking it for granted.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
And I hate to hear that, probably internally because it
makes me feel like a bad person, but for some
reason it also feels incredibly dismissive of all that you're
going through. On the same hand, they're absolutely right, you know,
Like I hate to say it, but they're absolutely right.
(03:44):
Oftentimes we're taking the present moment for granted, and we're
hyper focused on all that we don't have, rather than
being appreciative for what we do have and seeing the
beauty and the joy and the positive in our present moment. Right,
(04:09):
and again, to teach their own we're all going through
different things, but there is something about that. There's a
reason why the word gratitude keeps fucking coming around, and
why there's gratitude journals and all these things. Right, And
I think also something that has been a prominent idea
for me, even sort of operating in the background, is
(04:33):
the idea of reconnection and reconnection with myself and who
I am and what I want and what I love.
And it actually what put that into like actual words
For me, I've been reading this book called The Genius Zone,
(04:55):
and they talk about this idea of recommitting.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Many of us.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
We set a goal and like, we're great at the beginning,
and then we like have one slip up and we
just end up in like this downward spiral, going in
the complete opposite direction of our goal, and then we
end up being the shit out of ourselves as a result.
And the book talks about how the sort of slip
up is normal and inevitable and how everybody goes through that.
(05:29):
Nobody is able to be perfect and do everything right
every day all the time.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
But what sets apart.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Those who achieve their goal is after that slip up,
rather than going into a sort of extended downward spiral,
they instead take that moment to recommit to the goal
and get themselves back on track right. They don't dwell
(05:57):
on the fuck up. They don't dwell on the slip up.
They say, Okay, we were human. Now we're recommitted to
the goal. And what gets you to the goal is
not being perfect day in the day out. What gets
you to the goal is a series of recommitments to
the goal. When you do inevitably slip up, and I
(06:17):
found out to be comforting in many ways, and I
found sort of peace in that for whatever reason, and
I feel like it's something I'm taking with me into
twenty twenty five.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
And yeah, I really sit here.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
And in the present moment, life is good, right, not perfect.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
So many things I want to do to see, to experience,
to achieve that.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
I haven't yet, that I don't have a clear path
towards just yet. But even with all that said, life
is good and life is this present moment right here.
Life isn't the past, Life isn't the future. Life is
(07:27):
right here right now. And I don't know if I'm
talking in circles here, but I guess one thing, all right.
So I have a few quotes that I also put aside,
(07:50):
and one of the quotes that kind of hit hard
as I was like thinking about this topic and like
how I wanted to frame it for the purpose of,
you know, a podcast episode, one of the stoics, Seneca says,
don't lose the day in expectation of the night, and
(08:11):
the night in fear of the dawn. And I guess
for me why that hit me like a ton of bricks,
because as I sort of set off onto this next
chapter of my life, of my journey, of my career,
(08:31):
of what I want of chasing new goals. I recognize
how much time I spent not living in the present
moment and how much I took for granted as a result,
(08:52):
and I kind of wanted to touch on that to
a degree, And I guess what my frame of mind
is going in twenty twenty five and takeaways from the year,
you know, all that I've.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Sort of gone through and the ups and downs of
it all.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
So today's really an episode of reflection, of a reminder
live in the present, and a recommitment to.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Oneself. So with that in mind, let's get into Army
hit that segment.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Now. I mentioned this in the last episode where I
was talking about like looking at these old photos in
my phone from like, you know, years past or whatever,
(09:52):
and recognizing that I was living out so much of
what I dreamed of and that I was so close
to all that.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
I wanted, but in the moment couldn't see things that way.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
And it's only now in retrospect, older, more mature, sort
of not having those things in my life on a
regular basis anymore, those moments being able to look at
it and say wow, man, like you were doing it.
And I think this has been a crazy year of
(10:33):
like I don't want to say loss, but loss. I
think it feels like so much was stripped away from me.
And not to say that I'm in like, you know,
I feel like I want to make sure I'm not
exaggerating it to myself, right, because then I miss the
(10:55):
I miss the blessing that it is to still be
able to do what I love on a daily basis.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Right.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
So it's not like I've had all that taken away
from me, right, And it could be a lot worse,
But I've basically had a more minimalist life this year.
I've had a lot of things that I thought were
going to happen fall through, a lot of walls hit right,
(11:20):
and basically really had to get comfortable with the idea
of things not panning out as I had planned. And
I reflect on this year and it sounds cliche, but
I have a level of gratitude because I feel like.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
It made me hyper aware to the fact that none
of this is to be taken for granted.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
And I almost I feel like a bad person saying that,
because it's like dumh right, there are so many people
wishing and dreaming to get to do what I do
or any of us. Right, if you are living a
life where you have anything, there's somebody who's envious of it.
(12:21):
You have a partner, a family, at a home, a job,
there's somebody who wishes they had that right now, right
And for me, as I like reflect back on that
time period where all these things were happening, but I
still felt like nothing was happening, dude, I took that
(12:42):
for granted.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Man.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
Like in twenty twenty, the beginning of it, and I
mentioned this, I got to play in front of a
sold out crowd at my dream venue, right the venue
that I went to see my first like EDM act
like my DJ concert, and I remember saying to myself,
(13:08):
one day, I'm gonna be on that stage.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
And I remember on Instagram I.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Would watch videos of DJ's like there's one in particular
that sticks in my mind, and this DJ, he had
his camera members right behind him as he did his
like intro and his entrance.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
And it was just huge, and I remember it gave
me chills.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
And it's at that venue and just be like, man,
one day I'm gonna step foot on that stage and
get to play.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
And then I got that opportunity, and I was taking.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
It for granted because I had a couple other big opportunities, right,
And for me, it was like, it's cool, but I'm opening,
I'm not headlining, they're not here to see me.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I don't get to play exactly what.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
I want to play after kind of play to this
bigger artist's crowd, right and be respectful of like the
fact that I'm an opener, you know, and all those
things and all of that sort of cheapened the experience.
(14:16):
And I did that to myself, and I also took
it for granted, like, you know what, I'll be back here.
So it's like, you know, let's just get through a
type of thing. And I think in the moment, I
was happy, I was grateful, but I was still like
thinking to myself, like whatever, man, Like I got to
(14:38):
figure out what I'm doing my life type of thing.
And it's like, bro, you're you're thinking about everything except
for the fact that you're living out one of your
biggest goals. And how hard it is, how hard it was,
how many years it took me to get to the
point that I knew the right people to be considered
(14:58):
to get on that stage. Took me so fucking long,
so long into my career to get to that stage.
And now in twenty twenty five, I could say this.
I haven't announced it yet, but I'll say it here
(15:19):
to the FAM. January tenth, I get to go back
onto that stage.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
And my.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Reaction to it this time around was so different. Even
right now, I like, I feel it, like the tears
are watering, my eyes are wading up, and I feel
the emotion behind it. I cried when I got the
news that it was happening. When the email came in,
I called my parents, you know.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Like.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
That sort of deep ground attitude and not taking it
for granted. This time around. It only came as a
result of me going through the journey that I've gone through,
of understanding how difficult it is to find success, how
lucky I was to find consistent success, and even though
(16:18):
I put in the hard work, that still doesn't guarantee
the success. And I was fortunate that the opportunities kept
presenting themselves that I got in at a certain time.
But as things got more difficult and it became harder
and harder to continue to ascend to the next level.
(16:42):
And having all these things sort of stripped away or
not come to fruition made me makes me realize how
lucky I am to have any sort of opportunity. And
you know, same situation in January. I'm opening, I'm not headlining,
but i'm and and by the way, those intrusive thoughts
(17:03):
still come up. I was like, I went from being
super excited and just walking in Cloud nine, and then
a couple of days later, I'm thinking, like, all right,
you know it's this is like a more difficult artist
to open for it. It's kind of like it's a
different genre of like E. D M. And like particularly
(17:26):
opening a cold room, like you know, when when people
are ask people are coming in and building building up
until the.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
You know, headliner comes on. It's difficult, especially in this genre.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
So then my imposter syndrome starts coming in of me
not being able to do it, and then I just
start telling myself like or I start getting frustrated, like, oh,
this isn't the right situation, this isn't the right you know,
a fun moment.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
This is gonna be the best thing, or it's not
gonna be that fun.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
And I have to check myself and say that none
of that matters, right, This is so much big, bigger
than that. This is a beautiful, amazing opportunity that you
work so hard for.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
And not only that, but for me sort of.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Having a real conversation with myself about how much music
means to me and playing it and getting to perform
it and all that comes along with it, and being
so upset that I allowed myself to deviate from it
for so long and that.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I didn't appreciate it back then and as a result,
I like easily walked away from it. This moment.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Is me sort of being able to pick up where
I left off, which is like the ultimate gift, right
because the fear was like, Man, did I fucking ruin
and waste the moment that I had? But I think
it's also a proof where the things that are meant
for you in this life will always find a way
(19:07):
to come back to you. And as silly as it
is with djaying and music and stuff like that on
the surface, as it sounds like that's a spiritual thing
for me. That's something I can't escape, This deep love
for performing and playing music and creating it and doing
(19:28):
all these things and as much as I lie to
myself and tell myself it's not what I want, it's
not big enough for me, and all these different things,
I keep getting drawn back to it. And to me,
this was like God and the universe bringing me back
(19:48):
to where I'm supposed to be. And the moment isn't
lost on me. And I think you're you know, we
hear these sayings like you're presented with stuff when when
you're actually able to really receive them. And back then,
(20:14):
I wasn't ready to receive those blessings because I always
kept moving the goalpost to the next thing. And it's
why I was a workaholic, It's why I didn't take
care of myself physically mentally, it's why I didn't have
solid relationships.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Because it's always.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
On to the next thing. And I think, you have
to be hungry, you have to have desire, but you
can't take for granted all that's happening in the present moment.
And I took life for granted. And I think now
(21:03):
this sort of reconnection as a result of things being
taken away or minimized or stripped away, there's been a
profound increase in my happiness, my ability to see and
appreciate all that I have. I know we're striving for more,
(21:23):
and that's beautiful. I plan on doing gigantic things, but
I'm not cheapening the present moment.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
And I think so many of us are living in
a place where.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
We just cheapen our current reality because we're fantasizing about
being somewhere else. And I think it's why so many
people are incredibly unhappy, because they've trained their mind to
think happiness lies anywhere else except for the present moment.
(21:54):
And again, it doesn't mean you can't be striving for
other things and goal setting and whatever it might be,
and continue to elevate your life and add to it.
But even when you obtain those things, if you haven't
trained your mind to find happiness in the present moment,
it's a never ending, perpetual cycle of striving for the
next thing you keep. It's the idea of like imagining
(22:16):
that happiness is right around the corner, rather than understanding
happiness can be found right now in the present moment,
and it's essential to find it in the present moment
if you're ever going to enjoy the fruits of your labor,
and you're ever going to enjoy this thing called life.
And like I said, I've written down a couple of
quotes and this one's from wherein that Han and it
(22:38):
stuck with me. The quote is life can be found
only in the present moment. The past is gone, the
future is not here yet. And if we do not
go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot
be in touch with life.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Sorry thick not Han said that.
Speaker 4 (22:59):
If we do not go back to ourselves in the
present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
You're not living unless you are able to just be.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
That sounds so fucking cliche and like, yeah, I'm trying
to work just be into it, but really that's the
whole concept of fucking just be right when I did
that whole retreat, and that stuck with me.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
It's like, this is life. What's happening right now? Is life?
Speaker 4 (23:36):
All of its beauty is happening right now. It's not
in some far off land or some fucking gold that
you check off the box and all of a sudden
life becomes beautiful. You have to find beauty in life
right now. And again it's because of the way our
mind works.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
What you do.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
And and and how you react and how you process things.
It trains your mind for how you're going to process
everything moving forward. So if you are unable to find
happiness in the present moment, if you're constantly cheapening the
present moment, dude, you're going to keep doing that, even
when you have a million dollars in the bank, even
(24:15):
when you you know are living out your dream job,
in your dream city, living in your dream house. Your
mind is trained to find a reason to take you
out of the present moment and tell you you need
something else. Because you've done that, because you keep escaping
the present moment, you keep not appreciating the present moment.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
That training, that that groove in your brain.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
Will continue on regardless of what you have in the physical,
regardless of what you've been able to manifest. And that's
why I think so many wealthy, so many successful people
are unhappy because their mind is to look for what
they don't have.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
And that's the sickening thing about being a human being.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
You could have so fucking much and still trick yourself
into thinking you need more, or it's not enough, or
whatever it might be. The grass is always green on
the side, right, That cliche saying it's for a reason.
So that's like when you hear people talk about if
you can't be happier now, you're not gonna be happy
when you get what you want. Yeah, because you have
(25:26):
to develop the mindset of looking for the good in
the present moment, of being able to enjoy and appreciate
the present moment. Because without that mindset, without the development
of that mindset, you're never gonna find the happiness that
you're searching for. It's always gonna seem like it's right
(25:47):
around the corner. Even if your fucking you know, driving
your dream car. You know you're gonna it seems like, oh,
but the real dream car is right around the corner
type of thing, right, everything, and literally it's only in
reflection that you realize, Man, I had it so fucking good.
(26:07):
Wasn't perfect, but fuck there was so much to be
grateful for, right, That's what I felt looking at those
old pictures. Yes it wasn't perfect, Yes there were struggles,
but fuck was I doing cool things that I enjoyed,
that I loved doing, things that I.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Talked about and dreamed about fucking doing.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
And it's only now that I wasn't doing them, And
don't have them in my life that I reflect back
and realize how special that moment was that time period. Right,
It's just like as you get older and you realize,
you know, I don't want to see your best years
of behind you, but.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
I wouldn't want to relieve my twenties, you know, to
be quite fair.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
But I think about my twenties, and I think about
how that mindset was that this is basically gonna last forever,
This care free, nothing really matters moment was gonna kind
of last.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
I didn't think past it.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
And you recognize as much as I maybe don't want
to live that on a day to day basis anymore,
that was a special moment in time of exploration and
finding myself. Those moments had value, But because I was
always thinking of the next thing, I didn't stop to
think about and appreciate the value. And I want to
touch on a couple of things. So we'll pause here,
(27:25):
we'll take a quick break, and a couple more things
I want to I want to touch on. All right,
we are back, and one of the things I want
to touch on is like a moment I had this
past weekend or friday. The radio station I work for
in New York City's E one hundred has like an
annual concert called jingle Ball, And if you grew up
(27:49):
in the New York City areas, it's a big deal.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
It's like the biggest concert.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
And you know, it's that Master Square Garden, a bunch
of giant artists, and it's like one of those things
that like everybody who grew in this area, we always
tried to get tickets because it sells out in like
three seconds. And I've been fortunate enough to be a
part of it for years now. At this point, they
do a pre show at Hammerstiginn Ballroom, which is another
(28:15):
big venue here in New York. And I've been fortunate
enough to DJ it for years at this point, right, And.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
I always would.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
Look at what I didn't have, right, because I was like,
all right, I'm the DJ. But all of the jocks,
like the people who are radio personalities on air, they
get to do cooler stuff. They're doing interviews, right, They're
on stage at Madison Square Garden introducing artists and like
(28:46):
they're treated as like the stars for the day, you know,
And as a DJ, I'm not getting the same treatment.
It's kind of like, all right, well you know, you know,
it's I'm not like, in my mind, I'm just like
a forgotten element or whatever. Right in my mind, I
go up there and play some music and it's done,
(29:08):
and I have to watch and I watch everybody else
sort of like living out these big moments. Right in
the past, I would always be like, man, wait till
I get to you know, my goal is to be
on air. Wait un till I get to be the
one introducing on stage. That would be the moment. Wait
till I'm doing interviews, that'd be the moment like, Okay,
you guys are shitting on me, now, wait until I'm
(29:29):
doing Wait till I'm that person.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
And these are like radio shows, so it's like a
mixed crowd of like ages.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
So I'm not like playing these like sets that I'm
like would record and be proud to share to the world.
Like I'm just trying to get people to sing along
and have fun and like, you know, some corny pop
songs to a degree or stuff to dance to. And
I would always like devalue it as like you know, oh,
this is like you know, cheap DJing type of thing.
(30:00):
And this was the first year I can honestly say
that I was on stage and you know, there's how
many thousand people there or whatever, and I genuinely was
just like, I'm enjoying myself. Like I was able to
stop in the moment while on stage and remind myself,
(30:25):
take this in. This is special, and I felt so
grateful and happy in that moment. And this was the
first time, and not to say a couple times I
had a couple of flare ups of like envy, but
this was the first time for the most part that I.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Was just like, you know what, this is great.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
I'm so happy and lucky to be here, and I'm
just gonna go with the flow and enjoy myself and
do my part.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
And that's it.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
And what's actually fucking crazy is so what oftentimes will
happen is after I'm the DJ, the concert thing is
as at massa Square Garden, and uh again, I'm not
you know, I have nothing to do with that point.
I'm just hanging out because I already done my my
my gig. So like you're at mass regarding your backstage
like again, ridiculous fucking honor. That's where New York Knicks
(31:22):
and the Rangers play, and like you know, every gigantic
artist in the world dreams of coming to play and
you're walking around backstage and like bumping into people, you know,
like this person's walking by you and that person. I'm
not gonna name job because that's attacking. But Robert Denier
was there. I will say that anyway. But uh, but
(31:45):
normally I would be most of the time they would
give me a pass. I would walk in, I'd be
like fuck this and just walk out, like like they
think about that. You have people calling left and right
to buy tickets or people like upset they couldn't buy tickets,
and then they're begging, you know, to get tickets, you know,
the giveaways and things like that. Here i am with
(32:07):
the fucking all access pass and I'm like, fuck, this
just sucks, you know, like like that that tells you
everything you need to know right of not living in
the present moment. And again this was the year where
I was like, hey, I would just say to go,
i'mna have fun. I don't really care, like even because
(32:28):
they have like also with these passes, it's like you
have all access, but there's like extra badges to get
into extra restricted areas, like where like the Free Booze
and food are and like, I've always been of the
type where I'm like, I'm not gonna ask somebody for that,
Like they should just give it to me, so we whatever.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
If I don't get it, fuck them.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
So but this year I was like, dude, if I
have to go buy a hot dog and a beer
by myself on like the mezzanine of Mad Square Garden,
I'm gonna enjoy myself.
Speaker 3 (32:52):
I'm just gonna this is what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
But life rewards good energy of you just being like
in a great happy place right Because I walked in
there just happy as could be to fucking hang out.
What happens as I'm walking in, I run into another
person I work with at iHeart and he's got the juice,
he's got the connects, and he's like, oh, I'll see
it that loundes and I'm just like, you know, yeah,
(33:15):
I don't have a passport, but it's cool, man. I'll
be around just hanging out and he's like, nah, no way,
and he walks me through, gets me a pass for
like the VIP of VIP lounges, and I end up
just boozing it up and eating amazing food. The entire
night and just literally, even though I'm not the one
on stage like I had dreamed about in Madison Square Garden,
I'm having the time of my life and I'm bullshitting
(33:36):
with coworkers. I'm just like, you know, eating case ideas
and drinking free beer and just enjoying the moment for
the first time. This is literally I've done this, I
think maybe five years.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
I've done five years of this.
Speaker 4 (33:51):
This is the first time I can honest say I'm like,
from start to finish it, I had such a fucking
great time, like just appreciate it and loved the moment
and at a blast man, just had such a good
fucking time. And that is all the result of like
(34:13):
having a perspective shift because life kicked you in the
fucking face and made you recognize stop taking this shift
for granted, Stop taking the moment for granted, just because
it doesn't look exactly how you would hope or you
would you did hope or you hoped it would. There
you go English, And I think that's so much of like.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Of what it is.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
We often have this expectation as to what life is
supposed to look like, and when it doesn't look exactly
how it's supposed to look like.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
We then are like, oh, well, it sucks because it
doesn't look like what it's supposed to look like.
Speaker 4 (34:57):
It's like, dude, no, it's not going to always look
like what it does in your mind. In fact, most
of the time, it never looks like. That doesn't mean
it's fucking bad. Different doesn't mean bad, or just because
it's you're not exactly there yet, but you're experiencing a
slice of what you want.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Enjoy that fucking slice. Right.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
That's like how little kids when they have to like
share something, right, they'll like have a temp a tantrum,
right if there's like one donut and you're like, hey,
you got to share it with your brother, and then
they flip the fuck out and they're like, no, I
don't even want it then, And in your mind, as
an adult, you're like, you know how fucking crazy that
(35:44):
sounds that you're willing to not have this at least
half of this delicious donut because you're not getting the
entire thing.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
That's what we do as adults each and every day.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
By not appreciating the present moment, we sacrifice the joy
that we could just because it's not as much joy
as we think we're supposed to be getting. It's wild,
it's silly, it's childish, but we do it every day.
And I think I use that word reconnecting, or I
(36:21):
guess if I could say what was the theme of
this year was, it was reconnection, reconnection with myself, reconnection
with the kid who was striving for something right, the
kid who, when he first got into radio, was so
fucking grateful and appreciative that he got to open for
(36:44):
free at a random radio station event for one of
their DJs.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
Like I was on fucking cloud nine.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
I felt like I made it, and then I I
lost that little by little because I wanted more, wanted more,
and when it wasn't more, I then sucked all the
fucking joy that I should have felt out of that
moment because it wasn't what I wanted it to be.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
It wasn't exactly what I wanted it to be.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
And I think a lot of us have to take
time to sort of reconnect and realize how far we've come,
appreciate how far we come, Appreciate that while we may
not be where we want to be, appreciate where we are,
wherever it is there's.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Something to be found to appreciate, and I think.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
You have to stop and find yourself, you know, at
times you have to.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
rEFInd yourself.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
I think life is so fucking crazy and oftentimes so
fucking stressful that it's easy to just get lost in
it all and you're just doing what you got to
do to fucking survive, and in doing that, you've become
like this fucking zombie who is just a shell of
the person they used to be. And that's what leads
(38:17):
us down, this sort of spiral of unhappiness and sadness
and depression and all that comes along with it, because
we've gotten so far away from who we are and
what makes us happy, because we've just been fucking surviving
and looking forward to the next thing, right, Like, I
(38:39):
think of an analogy, like when I was a kid,
I was a senior in high school and in the suburbs,
everybody had a car. I was the only one that
didn't have a car. I was younger, so I got
my license later than everybody else. On top of that,
I didn't get my first until I was starting college
(39:02):
the following year, so I had to borrow my parents' car.
So my mom carpooled, so every other day I would
have her car, but on those days I didn't have
her car, I had to walk home. And as a
seventeen year old senior in high school, it's embarrassing to
(39:26):
fucking walk home when everybody else is in friends cars
or driving their own car. As stupid as it sounds now,
it mattered at that time, and I would be so
fucking ashamed and embarrassed, and I would go somewhere else
mentally to get me through that. It's not gonna had
(39:47):
a far walk, which is silly and now I think
about it, but I would go somewhere else mentally.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
I would Mentally, I would be.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
In my dream car, which at the time was a
Chevy Trailblazer, and I was driving home from school in
that car or driving around living my best life, and
I would be customizing the car in my head, and
you know, picking out the songs I'd be listening to.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
And that got me through, like blocking.
Speaker 4 (40:17):
Out watching who was driving by me in embarrassment. And
I think so many of us, myself included, we go
through life every day doing a version of that, living
somewhere else in our head other than the present moment.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
Just to get through it.
Speaker 4 (40:44):
And that is seeing only being, you know, only focusing
on the negative. Right, You're only focusing on the fact
that moment sucks, and like you're just focusing on every
aspect about it that sucks, and every car that drives by,
you know, and what they must be thinking about you,
and all those things. You're not looking for any positive
and as a result, you end up becoming just like
(41:06):
the zombie to survive, like I said, and I think
you do that enough, you end up losing yourself.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
You end up.
Speaker 4 (41:20):
Getting further and further away from who you are and
who you want to be. And that's again why I
love this end of the year because as you reflect
and you sort of endeafinitely you can help but just
think about the year and think about the next one.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
It gives you a moment to sort of.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
Analyze where you are and where you want to be
and all that's happened and to just stop and reflect
for a second. And with that, I think reflect reconnection
can come if you make it a priority. And I
think that's sort of what I've done and tried to do,
(42:03):
and I think what has sort of given me this
optimism going into the new year, and I had optimism
going into this year, going twenty twenty four, but it's
a different optimism. It's not one of waiting for the
next explosive opportunity. It's optimism of being grateful and happy
(42:29):
with what I'm currently doing and just looking forward to
more of that. And I think that is the shift
that I needed to make, and maybe that's why some
of the challenges I faced this year needed to happen
so that I could sort of tweet that a little bit.
(42:49):
And I'll end on that idea of recommitting right that
book I mentioned the Genius Owner the idea they talk
about recommitting.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Because I think what often.
Speaker 4 (43:07):
Happens as we go on these journeys, and I think
what hardens us and makes us frustrated and.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Upset is not only the disappointments of.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Life from external circumstances, but I think the moments where
we fall short of what we know we're capable of.
It's like you're on a diet, you're doing really fucking well,
and then like you have that one cheat meal that
goes way too far and it just opens up Pandora's
box of like, well, fuck it, I already ate shitty
(43:42):
on Wednesday, I might as well ride this thing out
until next week. And then next week comes along and
you're kind of you're so far off track at that
point because you've just been fucking breaking your diet, like
I had, you know, like a no carbs diet, and
you had like one dinner bun, you know, you went
out to eat, and you're like, fucking don't have one
(44:02):
dinner bun next thing. You know, you're just fucking carving
it up for the you know, and you're like, you
know what, I'll restart. There's no carp thing next week.
And oftentimes we've gone too far off the edge here
where we're just fucking dinner bump with every meal at
that point, right, and uh, and that is why we
(44:25):
fail or why we deviate, or why like we fall
off track and go so far in the wrong direction
until we like it gets so bad. They were like, fuck, man,
I'm so far off from my goal and what I wanted.
Speaker 3 (44:39):
And then you're mad at yourself and you're beating yourself up.
Speaker 4 (44:42):
Right, maybe you're like had a saving this goal and
you got tempted and you bought something on eBay, you know, hypothetical.
Of course I'm not talking about myself or anything. And
at that point you're like, fuck it, you know, I
might as well. I could do a couple more things.
And then all of a sudden you're like, dude, I
I can't believe the money I had set aside for this.
(45:03):
I just blew it on some random shit. And then
it's like, fuck now I have to start all over again.
And you're mad at yourself and you're beating yourself up
and you're angry. And in this book they talk about
the idea of like when you slide, you first of all,
can't beat yourself up over it, because oftentimes it makes
(45:25):
you backslide. Even even further, understand that that is human.
You're going to inevitably, at some point unfortunately deviate from
the path at hand. But the ability to achieve that
(45:45):
goal and to not downward spiral is to accept the
fact that you slipped up, but then recommit to your
intended goal in that moment.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Right, So, I've had this goal.
Speaker 4 (46:06):
I'm trying not to eat out as much like Uber eats,
and I think about how much money I spend on
one meal unnecessarily because of fees and everything. I'm like,
I'm paying you know, You're into paying fucking twenty dollars
for a chipot Lebourrita that costs what ten bucks or
something like that, and it's like, dude, I'm paying double
the money because I'm a being too lazy to leave
my house and b I'm not cooking the food that's
(46:28):
been sitting in my fridge and freezer.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
So my goal is like, all right, chill out with that.
Speaker 4 (46:36):
And there have been times where it's like, oh, I'm
especially this last week, I like time got away from
me and I.
Speaker 3 (46:45):
Was like, I don't have time to cook. I gotta
get get it out of the house.
Speaker 4 (46:47):
Like if I spend a half an hour cooking a meal,
then I'm not gonna have time to like prep for
my DJ gig. So I end up like fuck and
I'm gonna uber eat something because I have to eat whatever.
But I realign with the goal in mind. The next day,
(47:09):
I end up like, all right, fuck it. Yesterday I
broke my rule. I'm planning a further ahead today where
I'm going to now in the morning create a bit
more structure so that I do have time to cook
a meal before I have to leave the house.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
Right.
Speaker 4 (47:24):
That's me recommitting to that goal. I'm not beating the
shit out of myself. I'm not making myself feel bad.
I'm also not going on a downwards buyo where I
just say fuck it, we're gonna make it rain and
uber eats. I was saying, Okay, I fell short a
little bit here, but that's where it ends. I'm recommitting
to what I want.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
And I think that is a beautiful.
Speaker 4 (47:50):
I think takeaway that I had that I'm going to
carry into twenty twenty five that life isn't about being
perfect at your intended goal. It's about taking note in
the moments that you slip up and recommitting to that goal.
Like goal, achieving a goal isn't about being perfect. It's
(48:11):
a series of recommitments of the second. It's like it's
like driving a car. I think the book that uses example.
You know you're driving a car. It's not just like
ten and two arms straight. The entire time. You're like
adjusting the wheel to stay on the road right.
Speaker 3 (48:27):
The road curves.
Speaker 4 (48:30):
You know, you inevitably, you know, move your hand a
little bit and the car shifts and you have to
readjust if you didn't do that, you'd probably drive yourself
off a fucking cliff and never get to your intended target.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Right.
Speaker 4 (48:45):
So that's what it is to achieve a goal. It's
just a series of recommitments of readjustments along the path.
And just like you don't beat the shit out of
yourself every time you have to, you know, steer the
car in a particular direction and to stay on the road.
You accept that that's a normal part of driving every day.
Speaker 3 (49:06):
You have to accept that.
Speaker 4 (49:07):
On your goal, your your path towards your goal, it's
going to be the same thing, a series of little
readjustments and recommitments, and eventually you get to where you
want to be. Last thing before I get it here too,
I want to say it's like a takeaway of twenty
twenty five. Stop chasing the explosive wins, And I say
it to myself. Every day is not going to provide
(49:31):
the email you've been waiting for, the opportunity you've been
waiting for. And that doesn't mean that today is any
less relevant or important. More often than not, life is
about the grunt work that you do each and every day,
the little fucking things that don't seem like they're moving
(49:52):
the needle very far, but you show up and do them. Anyway,
that is ninety nine percent of the game. Those little
things you do, those lead to those big explosive wins.
But it's the showing up when you don't feel like it.
It's the moments that you feel like you're fucking you know,
you're like treading through mud and you're just barely getting
(50:15):
across the finish line. Like yesterday, I had one of
those days where it was like I'm like literally, you know,
face palming and like forcing myself like, oh my god,
I'm so tired. I don't feel like sitting in front
of computer or doing anything. But I push past, do
what I have to get done, and go the fuck
to bed. Right, But that is a day that needs
(50:38):
to happen, the little grunt work, and eventually one of
those emails that I sent out doing the grunt work,
one of the little things that I did, you know
that I did yesterday, will lead to that big explosive wind.
But again, it's the result of doing the work even
on the days I don't feel like it, and being
(51:00):
okay with doing the dirty work that has zero fucking gratification,
immediate gratification in it. That's why NBA players who are
the greatest in the world still have practice, right. It's
why Kobe Bryant was in the gym at four in
the morning shooting free throws even though he was the
best player in the world. It's that little grunt work
(51:22):
that then leads to championships, that leads to the wins
in the game, that lead to the big moments to
get replayed on fucking Sports Center and ESPN, And it
gets you gotta remind yourself of is like, stop chasing
the big moments, not prioritizing the big moment. Stop thinking
that you are not on the right path just because
(51:42):
you're not having a big explosive win every day, that
you can do the little grunt work that's a fucking win.
I've been like, I've been reflecting as I brush my teeth,
as I like, you know, walk into my bedroom, I'm like,
what do we do well today? I'm like, oh, we
got all these little things. Emails were sent out. It's
why my to do list and like at the beginning
(52:03):
of the day, it starts in like red, and as I,
you know, cross off things, I highlight them in green.
And when I look at that to do list and
I see a whole bunch of green. I'm like, you
fucking killed it today, right, even.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
If it was little things.
Speaker 4 (52:13):
Send an email to this person, schedule this right, book
this hotel for your friend's wedding. Highlight that shit and green.
That's a win, right. And then I'm like, what could
I have done better? You know what, I didn't wake
up with my first alarm like I hoped. You know,
I was feeling a little sluggish this morning. I'd like
to give myself that extra you know, thirty minutes of
(52:35):
time to work on something early in the morning while
it's still quiet. I'm not beating myself up, just making
a note of it, right, And that's that's what we
have to do, is like that little those little winds,
those little non you know, those moments that feel non essential,
that feel silly, that feel like there's not much going on.
That's we have to recognize, like all that adds up
(52:57):
to the big moments. I hope that makes sense, But yeah,
that's my I guess my reflections for twenty twenty four
going into twenty twenty five. With that said, that's time
that we talked about today anat Little Bow and a
segment called Conclusion STU.
Speaker 1 (53:12):
Time for conclusion.
Speaker 3 (53:14):
So I don't I'm not gonna do like a summer.
Speaker 4 (53:21):
I feel like I dove into everything pretty heavily and
quite frankly, or quite honestly, A lot of it was
like train of thoughts.
Speaker 3 (53:27):
I don't even know what the fuck I just talked about.
Speaker 4 (53:28):
But what I will say is this, take some time
to reflect as this year ends, and try and reconnect,
you know, see where you may have lost yourself along
the way, whether it's this year, whether it's years of
doing so. I think just just clarity is the greatest
gift you can give yourself, really refining who you are,
(53:50):
what it is that you want, What have you been
doing that that you think is no longer you or
not serving you anymore. I think reconnecting with yourself, right,
I guess that's the one of the words, the keywords
of this of today's episode, and also recommitting to your
goals right and doing so, not beating the ship to
yourself if you've deviated from the path, but understanding this
(54:13):
is all part of the process. Recommitment is part of
the process. Even if you fell off a day ago,
a week ago, a month ago, a year ago, you
can reconnect now. So you can recommit now and get
back on track towards your goal and living life as
you should. Again recommitting, And yeah, I guess that's the
(54:34):
biggest thing. And it's just like this present moment. I
think it's understanding, man, Like, all the success in the
world means nothing. If you never learned how to appreciate
the present moment what you have, you could always chase
and want more. Look at these billionaires who for no
reason are being greedy as fuck because they live in
this mindset of thinking they need more.
Speaker 3 (54:56):
They've never adjusted to just being happy.
Speaker 4 (55:00):
To them, it's never enough, right they get a yacht,
some other guy gets a bigger yacht, and then that's
the next fucking thing, and it turns them into these
maniacs who aren't happy with their their present life. And
that's not something to strive for. And I think we
all want to be better than that. So yeah, I
(55:21):
think just use this energy of reflection, of anticipation for
the next year and all these things like as it
means to reconnect with yourself and just get back to living.
One more quote that I found that I really liked,
uh was a prom anonymous. It says, if you have
(55:42):
one eye on yesterday and one eye on tomorrow. You're
gonna be cock eyed today. That's a silly quote, but
I appreciate it. Nobody wants to be walking around cock
guide if they could help it. Noth wrong if you are,
But you know, I don't think anybody is striving to
do that. So present moment, man, that's the that's the key.
Speaker 3 (56:07):
You can have.
Speaker 4 (56:07):
You could be motivated for the future while still understanding
there's joy and happiness to be found in the present
moment as well.
Speaker 3 (56:19):
With that said, I'll catch.
Speaker 4 (56:20):
You on Thursday for our Thursday Trends episode, our last
one of twenty twenty four, which is wild to even say.
Speaker 3 (56:27):
So that stays safe and we shall talk soon.
Speaker 4 (56:33):
Life as a Goodgo is a production of the micro
Thura podcast network and iHeartRadio.
Host
DJ Dramos
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