February 11, 2025 • 51 mins
When the biggest stage is in front of you, do you play to the crowd or stay true to yourself? Kendrick Lamar’s Super Bowl halftime show wasn’t about flashy gimmicks or trying to please everyone—it was a pure Kendrick Lamar performance. In this episode, Dramos breaks down why his decision to stay authentically him is a lesson for all of us. Whether in your career, relationships, or personal growth, the real win comes from showing up as yourself, no matter the stage.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Let me talk about there we go. He said, you
live in life as a ringle. Wait you question when
you fit in? Every time you mingle, they say you do.
This would not that my rapp has really been Ingo. Yes, hello,
and welcome to an episode of life as a Gingle.
I am dramos of course, and man, I am feeling
(00:30):
in criply inspired right now. And I was I was
kind of like reflecting on what I want to talk
about today's show, and I was really struck by the
Super Bowl halftime performance. And I want to preface today's
conversation as I always sort of say in these moments,
you don't have to care about the actual subject matter
(00:51):
to get the message that I'm conveying. Right, The subject
matter is simply the vehicle right to convey a message.
So you don't have to like sports, you don't have
to like Kendrick go Mars and artists whatever. You don't
have to be a fan of music to get what
I'm going to talk about today. But I was really
struck by this performance because to me, it was somebody
(01:13):
who was sort of faced almost with two roads they
could have gone down, but chose the road that maybe
would be less of a slightly less of a nod
(01:33):
to their ego or slightly less of a pad on
the back and sort of stuck to their guns and
presented themselves as authentically as possible, regardless of the platform
they were performing on. And that's what Kendrick Lamar did
with this halftime show. And I think I want to
dive into to that idea, right. You know, anybody who's
(01:56):
listened to me or follow my content, you know I'm
big on authenticity and I think at its core this
show the idea of like living in the gray Area
and this otherness and you know, yearning for your place
in this world and community. I think it all boils
down to us sort of wanting to find the place
that we fit in, but in a larger sense of
(02:16):
it all being able to you know, to show up
as our authentic selves and be accepted and have a
place where we can feel accepted for who we truly are.
And that is sort of I think what I took
away in watching this performance that I thought was incredibly
special and I think incredibly inspiring, and I think there's
(02:37):
something that we can all sort of take with us
for you know, the various moves that we are making
throughout the course of our lives, in our everyday you know,
movements throughout this this world. And I'm going to I
don't want to like over sell. I think you get
the idea of what we're talking about today. I kind
of just want to dive into what I'm talking about today.
(03:00):
So let's let's without further ado, let's just get to
what I think is a takeaway that many of us
can relate to and what we can apply to our
lives from this performance. So we'll just do a deep
dive in a segment. Call for the people in the back,
say a lot. For the people in the say a
(03:24):
lot for the people in the say a lot of
the people in the So I was kind of struck
by expounding upon this to a degree because I had
posted on my Instagram story after the performance, and I
got like a lot of people sort of saying like, Oh,
(03:46):
I'm kind of confused by your take. I'm surprised by
your take, because what I said was great performance. If
this was an award show or a concert. As far
as Super Bowl halftime performances go, it was a little
bit underwhelming. But with that said, an amazing moment for
the culture, and I think that there was some confusion
(04:13):
there because you know, the obviously there was a lot
of people who are like, oh, we're super Bowl ever,
and like, you know, they happened to be falling under
the umbrella of Trump supporters. Actually, I think Donald Trump
even came out saying, we're super Bowl performance ever. And
at this point, if Donald Trump hates you, it's probably
a compliment. But I wanted to expound upon kind of
what I meant by that, and actually, I think what
(04:36):
made the performance so great was the fact that it
wasn't a great super Bowl halftime performance. And what I
mean by that is the platform of the super Bowl
is one that is universal. Right, there's a universality to
the super Bowl. It doesn't matter if you are a
(04:59):
you know, a hate mongering, you know, bigot who believes
in white nationalism, or you are doctor Umar's biggest fan.
Everybody sort of convenes together for the most part and
watches the super Bowl. Right. It's a day that even
if you're not a sports fan, you're TV is tuned
to this game. And that's what makes the stage, the
(05:22):
halftime performance such a difficult platform because it's supposed to
appeal to a very diverse and conflicting audience, right, and
the people who have had success or the people who
are considered as like the greatest of all time. As
far as the conversation of what's the greatest super Bowl
(05:44):
halftime performance? You know, there are people like Michael Jackson
or Prince or Beyonce, Bruno Mars. These are people whose
catalog reaches far beyond any demographic right, be it generationally,
be it race wise, be it genre. They are just
people who appeal to everybody for the most part. Right. Obviously,
you're never gonna make everybody happy. But someone like a
(06:07):
Kendrick Lamar has a incredible catalog, is a top tier
generational talent, generational defining artist, right. But he is also
not somebody who has that catalog of universality. Right. And
I think when I say that, people think I'm taking
(06:28):
a dig at Kendrick, and it's actually quite the opposite.
Kendrick is not meant to be a great super Bowl
halftime performer, because if he was, he would be a
watered down version of himself, right, And I'm not taking
(06:48):
digs at any of these other great artists. But when
you create music that is universally appealing. Even if it's
just a few songs, you are essentially watering down the
of you as an artist, and you are crafting something
very intentionally meant to sort of be this pop crossover
(07:08):
thing that everybody sort of hums and sings along to, right,
And they are records that we enjoy and we love them,
but they also are oftentimes songs or music that lack depth, right,
And they are are not something that defines a movement
almost right, or a way of thinking. They're just sort
of like the you know, the fun, mindless entertainment that
(07:32):
we watch on TV. Right, And they have their place
in this world. But someone like a Kendrick has been
very intentional with the music that he creates, you know.
And he's not somebody who's dropping, you know, music every
year like many artists do. He's not somebody who's chasing
radio singles. He is very intentional about how he presents
his art at the end of the day, and that's
(07:54):
what makes him so incredibly special and that's what makes
him great, and that's what has made him an artist
that people absolutely love. But that's also what has made
him sort of the antithesis to someone like a Drake, right,
because Kendrick has shown us who he is, what he believes,
and what he stands for, and he's been for the
(08:14):
most part very much sort of ten toes down on
who he is and doesn't stray regardless of the platform
or chasing a certain accolade, whereas a Drake great artist.
But the criticism is, we don't really know who Drake is.
He is sort of this chameleon who navigates in all
(08:35):
different types of you know, genres and generations and has
been incredibly successful in producing hits, but many would argue
his catalog lacks depth, right, that truly connects with people
in a way that is inspiring or you know, defines
a culture. And I think Kendrick is never set up
(08:59):
to be a great super Bowl halftime performer because that
would mean he's essentially somebody who's watered down his art.
And that's sort of what I've been trying to get
at with this conversation. Kendrick is a true artist and
platforms like the super Bowl halftime are not meant for
(09:22):
true artistry. They are meant for sort of the watered down,
make everybody happy type of performance. And again not taking
anything away from other people, but others have sort of
towed this line or I wouldn't even say toad this line,
because I again, you have these greats like Michael Jackson
and Beyonce and their music one percent means something to
(09:45):
the culture, to the community, but they have sort of
primarily focused in the past on producing hits, right, creating
a following a formula, if you will, to creating great
pop music. And that's not to take anything away from
them to say that they are not were, that they're
(10:07):
not valid as a great artist. But for Kendrick, his
goal has always been I'm going to produce great music,
but more importantly, my music is going to have a message,
and everything from the rollout to the topics to the
ad libs, everything is cohesively supposed to sort of tell
a much deeper story than just putting out a you know,
(10:29):
a fire record. And what Kendrick did with this performance
was he did an amazing Kendrick Lamar like top tier
you know, Mount Rushmore of Kendrick Lamar performances was done
on the stage and it was great, but it wasn't
(10:50):
a great super Bowl performance because great Super Bowl performances
often lack authenticity often lack depth. Right. They are artists
playing their biggest hit with a ton of different guests,
and it's all the bells and whistles sort of meant
to give you like that sugary rush rather than give
you anything of meaning. And again, that's what the platform
(11:10):
is meant for, right, It's meant to sort of be
this moment where the world sort of comes together and
just mindlessly enjoys these few hours of entertainment. What Kendrick
did is give you the most unapologetic Kendrick Lamar performance
he possibly could. He gave people the thing that they
love about Kendrick Lamar, right, And as a result, there
(11:34):
are going to be a lot of people turned off
by that, or as a result, he's not going to
deliver what traditionally is expected of a Super Bowl performance.
And you could argue that's what made it great. But
what I'm saying with this entire conversation is Kendrick use
this platform in a way that I think many people
(11:58):
would have been scared to do, because I think you
have two routes you could take when it comes to
something like this, Right, you can either say, Hey, I
know what the people want, I'm going to give them
this polished up my biggest records I possibly can. I'm
going to bring out a ton of different guests, and
(12:18):
I'm going to just try to make this as entertaining
as humanly possible, just for entertainment's sake, because that's sort
of what the stage traditionally calls for. And on the
other side of it, the decision you can make is
I'm going to use this platform which normally would not
be given to people like myself, or would normally be
(12:40):
sort of expect I would normally be expected to play
it safe in a platform like this, and I'm going
to show the world the most authentic version of myself,
knowing that there are going to be a tremendous amount
of people who don't get it, and knowing that it's
probably not going to meet the same sort of state
of general entertainment as what's considered to be some of
(13:04):
the great performances. And what I would argue is that
Kendrick made the more difficult decision and made the more
honorable one. And this is why he cemented his legacy
as a great artist, because he decided to just be
unapologetically Kendrick. And that's not easy to do on this
(13:28):
sort of stage. There's a lot of people's voices in
your you know, in the back of your head, a
lot of people that subconsciously you're wanting to please, right,
A lot of us would have succumbed to that pressure
of sort of feeling like this moment is bigger than us,
so we have to sort of deliver something other than
(13:50):
our normal selves. And what made this so special is
that Kendrick just went up there and delivered a highly
entertaining performance. I'm not taking I'm not saying it wasn't
that at all. There were so many amazing visuals, and
you know, the choreography and all the different movements and
stage setups were incredible, but they were all very much
(14:12):
in line with who Kendrick is. He sort of forced
us to step into his world rather than him sort
of having to step into the world of this platform,
this stage, I think, which I think most artists inevitably
end up doing because they feel the the gravity of
the moment, right, They feel the how big this moment is,
(14:36):
and they sort of feel like they have to step
into this world rather than forcing us to come and
meet them where they are. And I think the genius
of this and why I say it was a great
Kendrick Lamar performance and not particularly a great super Bowl performance,
was because he said, this is what I do. I'm
(14:57):
not going to bend and try and play please everybody.
You're gonna meet me where I am. I don't care
what the chatter is gonna be, as far as you know,
people liking it, not liking it, not knowing who I am,
not on you, I mean, even not playing some of
his biggest hits, right. Him not doing that was him saying,
I'm just giving you my real self and I'm gonna
(15:20):
use this platform as it means to not expand my
celebrity or try and win over a new audience, but
instead to cement this is the artist I am, this
is the man I am, and this is the sort
of period on the incredible year that I have had.
(15:41):
And I'm good if you don't like it and you
don't get it. I'm not here to win anybody over.
I'm here to do me. And that was what was
amazing about it, and I think that's what has made
this a career defining moment for Kendrick Lamar, and I
(16:05):
think what we can all sort of take away from that,
there's a lot, right, there's a lot to unpack with that.
And I think, you know, this is sort of when
I think back about, you know, my own journey and
sort of my shortcomings or difficult moments, or when I
even reflect on why I think it's taken so long
(16:25):
for me to obtain certain things or to get certain opportunities. Obviously,
there's God's timing, there's a universe is timing. There's so
many things that we are not in control of. But
there are certain moments where I was in the right
room at what could have been the right time, but
I didn't show up, you know, the way that I
(16:45):
could have. I bent to the will of what the
norm was, and as a result, I blended in. Right.
And when you blend in and you don't showcase why
you are special, why would somebody think of you for
a extraordinary opportunity? Right? If you're not showcasing yourself as
(17:09):
somebody who is extraordinary, Right, let's break that word down
even deeper. Extraordinary. Right, if you're not showcasing yourself as
somebody who is above average, why would a above average
opportunity come your way? Right? Why would you be thought
of as somebody who is deserving of or ready for
(17:33):
a above average opportunity. And I think that is something
I really like. I don't I can't stress this enough,
you know. I really try to keep that at like
the forefront of my mind as I go about my
everyday life. Right, And this applies in anything, right, Obviously,
(17:56):
I relate to something like this with Kendrick Lamar because
I'm in a creative field. I'm an artist, you know,
And I feel weird saying that out loud. But it's
the same thing when it comes to dating, right, and
you know, feeling like you deserve this great person, right,
you have to have that belief in order for you
to obtain that person or to have a relationship with them, right,
You first must believe that you are worthy of love
(18:19):
and worthy of their love. And a job, right, you
have to feel confident in your ability to do that
job in order for you to really excel at it,
you know, and in your friendships, feeling like you are
somebody who is operating at a high level that you
deserve to be around other people operating at high levels, right,
that are inspiring to you. By all of this, it
(18:43):
comes from you finding the confidence and the self love
needed to be able to live authentically, right, And I
think that that is so much of what holds many
of us back. Right, even if it's like, oh, I
have this job where I'm like underpaid and I hate
(19:03):
my boss and all these different things, but you like
never do anything about it, right. You never go and
apply for another job, You never ask for a raise,
you never address the situation because somewhere in there it's
almost like you don't feel worthy of it, right, or
you are scared that they may not value you, right,
And that's you not showing up authentically at that point, right,
(19:25):
Because if you know you're capable of more, yet you
keep surrounding yourself or keep placing yourself, or you stay
in situations that you know are beneath you, that's not
you living authentically. That is not you prospering in the
way that you were meant to, you know, not shining
in the way that you were meant to. And it's
(19:47):
like the idea of you know, big fish, little ponds, right,
and sort of what how detrimental I think that is
to so much of our growth and who inevitably could become.
But it first starts with the idea of walking unapologetically
(20:11):
as yourself, right, And I think that's so incredibly inspiring
as a takeaway from all of this. And I think
sort of piggybacking off of all of that and apologizes
if I'm kind of like running around, I'm like, you know,
really processing it in the moment as I like to do.
I sort of talk it out here with you. But
(20:34):
I also look at it as like he could have,
like I said, gone the route of like, let me
just give people what they want, let me just give
them a my biggest hits, but let me just start
bringing out random ass people, you know, as a means
(20:55):
to appease those who haven't heard of me or who
aren't a fan of me. Right, he could have done
all of those things. And not to take away from Sizz,
who I thought it was absolutely incredible and that was
such a highlight of a moment or she she sounded
amazing and you know, so happy for her to get
that shot on that stage. But he could have done
(21:16):
the typical thing. He could have, Hey, let me bring
out low Wagne because it's New Orleans. It could have
done this whole thing, right, you're attempted to Obviously there's
complications there. But I think this was sort of again
when I look at that, this moment, this particular situation,
what what is striking, you know? What I take away
from it is sort of like the idea that if
(21:39):
everybody loves you, you are not showing up authentically for yourself,
right you are. That means that if because it's impossible,
if every single person in this world, everybody you interact with,
everybody like just fucking love you and you know, don't
have any issues, and they love your they love what
(22:00):
you say, every word you say everything, that means that
you are literally not doing you're not living authentically because
it's impossible if you are truly living authentically and giving
honest feedback, honest opinions, you know, dressing how you want
to dress, there's no way in how everybody's gonna love
all of that, right, And I don't mean you have
(22:22):
to be fucking hated by the majority of the world,
but there are gonna be people who just don't get it,
who just don't like it. And while that on the
surface is like, oh man, that's crazy. I don't the
idea of somebody not liking me, right, that sounds horrible
and many of us struggled with that growing up or
even as adults, so we still struggle with it, right,
(22:44):
myself included, I even you know, I my like DJ
aesthetic right, and in general life now, I wear a
lot of suits generally speak if I'm out and about
at night, I'm wearing a suit these days, and it's
(23:04):
always a topic of conversation, good or bad. I got
some people who are like, oh, man, dude, I love
that suit. I love what your style and what you're doing.
And then I have other people who, like you know,
friends who will trying to clown to me or make
fun of me for it, right, And at times I'm like, man,
(23:25):
you know what, I'm not getting dressed or whatever. I think.
I've talked about this before. Clothing has been a huge
way for me to build a confidence, but there have
been a lot of times where I've been like getting
ready to go out and I'm like, you know, putting
on this outphit that I think is cool, but I
know is gonna like make me stick out like a
sore thumb, and I'll second guess it again. Maybe I
(23:46):
should just like be more casual today. And I have
to remind myself, like, no, This is you showing up
authentically and the fact that people are noticing it and
have an opinion means that you are doing something different, right,
You are doing something that only you do a cent.
(24:07):
I'm obviously not the only person an suit, but you're
doing something that is authentic and unique to you. And
that's what this world is supposed to be, right, That's
what our lives are supposed to be. We're not supposed
to be these robots, these zombies that sort of just
go about trying to make everybody happy, which A is impossible.
You make so miserable doing so. But B the more
(24:29):
and more you do that, the further and further you
get away from what truly makes you you. And again
Kendrick going the opposite route and saying, I'm gonna give
you the best Kendrick Lamar performance. I don't care about
giving you the best super Bowl performance. I want to
give you the best Kendrick Lamar performance. That right, there
(24:55):
is somebody who is living as their unapologetic, authoruthentic self
and staying true to who they are and being okay
with being disliked. If it means that some people aren't
going to get it, or some people aren't gonna like it,
and we should all be striving to live in that manner,
(25:18):
to be so happy with who we are and to
be so invested in what we believe in that it
doesn't matter the platform, the person, wherever we are, we
will show up as our authentic selves. That's what aids
us in having, you know, real happiness, and that's what
brings true fulfillment in this life when we recognize all
(25:41):
we need and recognize that, recognize just how special we are,
and man, I don't know, just understanding the power that
is authenticity and being unafraid or valuing depth over superficial acceptance. Right,
(26:20):
greatness is real greatness is when you value depth over
superficial accolades. That's real artistry. And that's where real fulfillment
comes in this life as a human being. Is when
you value self love and prioritize who you are and
(26:42):
what you believe in over mass appeal and mass acceptance.
That's how you win this thing called life. And I
think that's what Kendrick did with this performance. Again. He
set out to give you a great Kendrick life performance
and recognize that that is far more important than delivering
(27:06):
something that others would debate as if it was or
wasn't a great super Bowl performance, because a great super
Bowl performance would have been a watered down Kendrick Lamar performance.
And he valued his artistry, who he is as a person,
the culture, his community, over appeasing the naysayers or those
(27:30):
who had never heard of him. He stood ten toes
down on what matters to him most and what he
feels is the highest priority in this world, in this life,
and in this country right now. He valued that over
trying to please everybody. And that's what made this moment
so special. And again, that's fucking goals, man, that's goals.
(27:56):
And I want to talk about this sort of like
reiterate some things I've talked about in the past, right
and in terms of like the idea of how much
you need or how much support you need or whatever
to be happy or be successful. So will pause here,
will say a quick break, and then we'll be right back.
(28:18):
All right, we are back, And I kind of want
to just pick up on a couple of things, like
I guess a couple of personal anecdotes that begin to
kind of come to mind for me when I I
think about this battle, this journey that I've had with authenticity,
(28:38):
and I want to I want to touch in a
couple of things. I want to touch on what happens
when you don't show up authentically, and I want to
talk about what happens when you do show up authentically
and what I mean don't show up authentically. I want
to take it from advantage point of me at a
(29:02):
point in time where the outside world is essentially telling
me I'm killing it, but internally I'm feeling unfulfilled and
like something is missing. And I'll kind of talk about
like a two prong thing. And this is kind of
fresh in my mind because I did a podcast interview
(29:22):
recently last week and they were asking me some questions
about the Breakfast Club, and I've addressed this, you know,
on this podcast and stuff a bunch and sort of
talked about, you know how eventually it just became a
very unfulfilling thing and the only thing was keeping me
there was you know, the I loved everything that came
along with being attached to that show and being in
proximity to like celebrities and sort of the doors that
(29:45):
it opened for me and the rush of all of that. Right,
But I wasn't doing enough work that truly fulfilled me, right,
the work itself didn't fulfill me. And you know, for me,
I find it hard to compartmentalize, right, I find it
hard to sort of clock in and clock out, especially
(30:07):
when I'm like working in a field that I love,
like music and entertainment. It almost becomes incredibly depressing to
think that I'm working in a field I love with
people who I like that I'm unhappy, right, And I
had to make that hard decision to sort of walk
away from it, walk away from and knowing by the
way that my life was going to become far more
(30:30):
difficult in terms of the outside validation and in terms
of getting opportunities. Right, I knew that I would no
longer be able to lean on the fact that I
was a part of this show, that people would want
to be associated with me, right, or would answer my
emails because I was a part of this, or you know,
(30:50):
I was great at like building Instagram relationships because they
would check out my Instagram and like, see, oh shit,
he's with you know, taking a picture with this person,
that person, he's on the breakfast club, blah blah blah. Right,
So it was it made it very easy for me
to do a lot of things, and I knew that
it meant, Okay, this sort of cheat code that I
have is going to be gone. But I have to
(31:12):
be true to myself and know that I feel like
there's so much more I could be doing and should
be doing. And that was incredibly difficult, but it led
me down a path of far more self discovery and
(31:33):
making far more of the type of impact that I
wanted to make. And sort of then after that time period,
right on the surface, I am I'm having sort of
(31:53):
the adult life that was appropriate for somebody in my
age at that point, right. So I around the time
that I had left the breakfast, so I was like
I had just closed on my first property, right, I
was financially in a good place. I was in a
(32:20):
serious my first serious relationship in you know, a very
long time. I was like checking all of the adult things, right.
And this was, you know, sort of on the heels
of the pandemic. So I had stopped djaying during the
pandemic obviously like everybody else. And even as things opened up,
I sort of was telling myself, You're entering a different
(32:41):
chapter of your life essentially, right, You're now in the
adult chapter of your life, and this whole DJ thing
doesn't really fit in with that adult narrative right. Time
to sort of put that dream to bed, to put
that lifestyle to rest, right, doesn't line up with this
(33:02):
adult version of you. And for a while I felt good, like, Hey,
I'm checking all the proverbial boxes, right, I'm making a
good living. I'm making a real adult salary, you know,
for the first time ever. And I'm you know, I'm
you know, making all these improvements to my big boy home. Right,
(33:22):
I'm living by myself. I owned the property again, I'm
in a serious relationship. I'm doing all the things that
I'm supposed to be doing at that time period. But
as time went on and as I sort of drifted
further and further away from music and I listen, don't
get me wrong, I love I wasn't like I went
and became an accountant. No shade to accounts. But it
wasn't like I went and completely left field did something
(33:46):
drastically different than what I love. I was doing podcasting.
I loved podcasting right, and I still do. But I
was sort of trying to kill off parts of myself
almost right, and I was devaluing these parts of myself,
(34:07):
you know, and as a result, I was getting further
and further away from my authentic self, right, and the
irony right from the outside, looking at again my family
or my friends, it was like, oh wow, he's really
got like, you know, his big boy life together, especially
like I was a late late bloomer a terms of that,
(34:29):
because I was an artist. It took a long time
to become profitable in that, right, and it was fortunate
that it happened, but I sacrificed everything in order for
it to happen. Right. I put off being an adult
for a long time, essentially quote unquote adult, and what
would eventually begin to happen for me is sort of
(34:54):
the unhappiness, the lack of fulfillment was slowly eating away
me on the inside. I was suppressing a huge part
of myself, right. And I talk about our passions all
the time. I talk about this sort of otherworldly thing
that's just like injected in us, you know, from an
(35:16):
early age, that for whatever reason, we're just drawn to
this particular thing, right or this area of interest. It
just does something for us. And music has been that
for me, and I always joke, Like, no matter how
much I try to walk away from it, it was
just fucking you know, pulls me back in. And I've
(35:37):
kind of come to a place where it's like I
don't need to justify it to the outside world. I
don't need to make it make sense in terms of like, uh,
you know, how does this make sense in societal's society's
definition of what it means to be an adult? You know,
like it doesn't. It doesn't have to make sense to
(35:58):
anybody but me, right, And I have to be okay
with moving on from people or situations in my life
that don't allow for me to truly be me as
good as it feels to sort of check the in
this case the adult boxes. I have to be okay
(36:23):
with giving up that external validation with the understanding that
the internal validation is far more powerful and is what
needs to be prioritized. And again pulling it full circle
(36:47):
when I look at this performance and sort of the
two ways he could have gone about it, that to
me is sort of, you know, without knowing him or
talking to him, that sort of is the decision right there.
It's like red plue, you know, red plu R, red pill,
blue pill. One pill is you sort of water down
your art for the sake of the masses to get
the larger external approval, or the other side of it
(37:11):
is you just go ten toes down into what got
you here and who you are and what you believe
in and what you stand for and understand that those
who get it will get it and those who don't
are going to unleash a tremendous amount of hate on you.
And you have to be okay with that lack of
(37:33):
mass external validation because you've prioritize and understand the value
of the internal validation you're going to get from just
showing up authentically and doing what you personally will be
proud of doing and what means the most to you
personally and the beauty of the world that we live
(37:54):
in today is you don't need to have the support
of a million in something people. Right, I talked about
this a lot, and anybody in my personal life they
know they like, probably tired of hearing me talk about
the idea of like a thousand true fans. Right It's
Kevin Kelly wrote a blog post about this, But it's
the notion that all you really need is a thousand
(38:15):
true fans. To be successful in your craft, you have
a thousand people who are die hard and buy everything
you put out and support you in every way. That's
all you need to make a living doing what you love, right,
and you could be fulfilled and the fact that you
don't have to water it down because you have these diehards,
right and instead of chasing mass acceptance and having to
(38:43):
bend at the will of others, essentially, and that is
sort of the part that leaves you feeling unfulfilled, is
when you keep giving up a part of yourself just
to make others happy. I don't know if I'm talking
in circles at this point you kind of get the
fucking point of of what I'm even talking about today.
(39:03):
But you know, I really, in my heart of hearts,
this idea of authenticity is so much bigger than like,
you know, your artistry or your brand, or like the
way you dress or the way you talk. All the
authenticity is everything because to me, when I talk about
(39:24):
living authentically, it's your ability to set boundaries, your ability
to tell people how they should or shouldn't treat you,
your ability to express what you're feeling. All of that
is rooted in your comfort of being authentic and oftentimes, like,
(39:48):
you know, I had a situation recently where I had
to kind of check somebody, and in the past, I
would have sort of just been like, I, wo whatever,
do what you're gonna do. I would have, you know,
pretended like I was okay with it, or I kind
of would have brushed off and just been like whatever,
But in the back of my mind I would have
made like a mental note of like I'm pissed at
this person, I'm not gonna fuck with them anymore, blah
blah blah, And that sort of avoidance of confrontation would
(40:14):
lead to like a relationship that never would be the
same or maybe unnecessarily rotted away because I didn't just
set a boundary and address how it's feeling so that
we can sort of move past it, or we could
stop the action that would take place that would sort
(40:37):
of move us to the place of no return. And
as somebody who's living far more authentically now, I addressed
it right then and there and let them know how
I felt, and you know, luckily they were receptive to it,
and we can now move past it and we don't
have to have this weird tension that would have been
(41:00):
left because of words left unspoken because I was afraid
to be authentically me and express how I was feeling
by their actions or their planned actions. And again that's
a small example of like that might that probably just
saved our relationship or help maintain it, just me being
(41:21):
honest and setting that boundary. I eat me being authentically me.
And that's why this whole you know, that's why I
approached this so heavily and why I look for opportunities
to sort of discuss it or talk about it, is
because I just know how powerful and important it is
(41:45):
in every aspect of our everyday lives. You know. It's like,
you know, imagine, like you know, you're imagine if every day,
three meals a day, you had to eat food that
you absolutely hated, and you're you're eating it because you're, like,
(42:08):
you know, too afraid to tell somebody like, hey, I
don't like this food, or you're too afraid to like,
you know, switch up your routine and stop at a
place you actually like, rather than just stop it at
the same place you've been stopping at for years or whatever. Right,
Imagine like as stupid and silly as that sounds. Just
imagine how miserable you would be if every fucking meal sucked, right,
(42:30):
and it could have easily been changed. But like it's
a result of you just not doing the little things
needed to help ensure and give yourself the best chance
of having an enjoyable meal, you know, And that's basically
what we're doing every time we sort of don't take
advantage of an opportunity to show up authentically, or we
(42:51):
choose to make other people comfortable, or we choose to
do what's easy or convenient rather than doing what truly,
you know, is is what we want essentially, And unlike,
you know, the food thing, it would be pretty detrimental.
I love food, but in the grand scheme of it all,
it's probably not that huge of a deal, right, because
(43:12):
you're getting nutrients you need. But in our everyday lives,
this affects our level of happiness and fulfillment, which then
affects how we show up in this world, which affects
the opportunities that we get. It affects our entire quality
of life. I really do think much of our quality
(43:33):
of life is predicated on how much we are showing up,
how much or how little we're showing up as our
authentic self. I truly do believe that. And I thought
this was like a powerful sort of moment to showcase
and as like just a little caveat anybody following the
beef with Drake and Kendrick and things like that. Outside
(43:57):
looking in, I don't know these people. But when I
see Drake and I'm a fan, to me, it's it's
somebody who is like, we don't know who he is,
and I think and and as a result, it's to me,
it's somebody who is trying to seek out that mass approval.
(44:19):
He's still trying to make everybody love him right. And
I think when we look at this like beef and
the results of it, what bothers him the most is
how much people seem to not approve of him right
or or dislike him. And so much of his career
(44:42):
as an artist and musically and bending and twisting and
like the way he looks and talks and all these
different things. It's it's it's like somebody who is is
relying so much on that mass appeal, that gigantic sort
of like you know, notoriety. It's like somebody just the
love of other people and yeah, he's given us some
(45:06):
bangers and stuff that we all play. And quite frankly,
most people listen to Drake more than listen to Kendrick,
or as a DJ, you play more Drake than you
do Kendrick. But I think internally and you could see
it in some of his actions, it's somebody who is like, man,
why don't why can't I get y'all's respect? Right? Like
as like the hip hop community, the hardcore hip hop
(45:27):
heads don't respect him, and you could see that it's
still that that hurts him. And that's like the greatest
takeaway from his whole thing is like he wants to
get the respect that Kendrick gets. But Kendrick gets that
respect because he has decided to go a different route
and against you know, different things for different people, but
(45:47):
Kendrick's route has been far more predicated on authentically sort
of staying true to who he is and what he
believes in, rather than chasing the next trend or chasing
what's hot. And the ironic part about it, as I
sort of tease the idea of what happens when you
show up authentically, the ironic part about it is you
(46:08):
end up finding community and acceptance when you start walking
that authentic path, and maybe it's not from the masses,
but it feels far more fulfilling because it's from people
who see you, truly see you, and embrace you. Right,
(46:31):
And that's like this podcast. There's a lot of Latinos
that still don't agree with me or believe I'm lesser
than or whatever it might be. But within this journey
of life as a Gringo, I've found other people who
relate in some sort of way Latinos or non Latinos,
and I've found my place and I'm far more fulfilled
(46:51):
and far more comfortable in my own skin as a result.
And again, it's not the masses telling me that they
love me, but it is the ability to find that
acceptance via my authentic self that is delivering a level
(47:13):
of fulfillment that I never had before, or a level
of confidence in myself that I never had before, or
a level of comfortability in my own skin that I've
never had before. And of course it's an ongoing journey,
but if I think about myself, you know, four years
ago to where I am now, it's crazy to sort
of see the way that I am moving, where I'm
(47:34):
far more okay with people not liking me or disagreeing
with me, if it means that I'm going to be
able to be far more you know, convicted in the
things that I say and things that I do, or
or have far more conviction than the things that I
say and do. Right, that's providing me with a level
of real fulfillment and happiness regardless fits you know, by
(48:00):
the largest audience humanly possible. And it's why I feel
confident now showing up in rooms and taking up space,
and why I feel confident, you know, dressing a certain
way that you know others might not like, but it
feels good to me. And it's why I've gotten certain
opportunities is because I'm showing up differently than most, because
(48:21):
I'm just showing up as me, and nobody can do
me the way that I do me right, and that's
the beauty of all this. So yeah, with that said,
I feel I just wrap things up right there, but
we'll we'll quickly wrap things up in a segment call
for the people in the bag. No, my mind is
all over the place right now. I'm really hyped on
(48:42):
like this. I'm like, I'm gonna pause here. Let me
pause my brain for a second. I'm very hyped in general,
but I feel very like energized by that conversation, like
I needed to hear that. I hope you did too,
Like I need to hear that for a second, as
like just this reminder, like keep doing what you're doing.
(49:04):
With that said, that's time of thing we talk about
saying a neat little boat in a segment call conclusion
still time for come all right, So obviously I'm ready
to run through a fucking wall right now. I'm like,
I'm feeling really energized and pumped up after all we're
talking about so and I think, again, that's like the
(49:26):
beauty of it. It's like that you look at these moments,
the power of it when you reflect on sort of
what somebody like Kendrick just did. It's you know, sort
of proof that you can show up as who you
are and stay true to what you believe in and
fight for the causes that you believe in and still
be given massive opportunities. And when you do get those opportunities,
(49:51):
it's crucial to not give in to the wounded voice
in your head that is searching for mass approval, but
to sort of remain true to the ideas and the
fundamentals and the person that got you said opportunity right,
and stay true to that person. And as long as
(50:15):
you do that, I think you can always sort of
find comfort in however life sort of plays itself out.
You know that, as long as you know you did
what's best for you, the human being first, and what
is authentically on brand for you and the life that
you want to live, I think there's a comfort in
that and of fulfillment in that for sure. So yeah,
(50:40):
I hope that was comforting or energizing for people listening.
With that said, thank y'all so much for tuning in.
I'll catch you on Thursday for our Thursday trans episode,
So then stay safe and we shall talk soon. Life
as a Good Inago is a production of The Micro
through That Podcast Network and iHeartRadio.
Let me talk about there we go. He said, you
live in life as a ringle. Wait you question when
you fit in? Every time you mingle, they say you do.
This would not that my rapp has really been Ingo. Yes, hello,
and welcome to an episode of life as a Gingle.
I am dramos of course, and man, I am feeling
(00:30):
in criply inspired right now. And I was I was
kind of like reflecting on what I want to talk
about today's show, and I was really struck by the
Super Bowl halftime performance. And I want to preface today's
conversation as I always sort of say in these moments,
you don't have to care about the actual subject matter
(00:51):
to get the message that I'm conveying. Right, The subject
matter is simply the vehicle right to convey a message.
So you don't have to like sports, you don't have
to like Kendrick go Mars and artists whatever. You don't
have to be a fan of music to get what
I'm going to talk about today. But I was really
struck by this performance because to me, it was somebody
(01:13):
who was sort of faced almost with two roads they
could have gone down, but chose the road that maybe
would be less of a slightly less of a nod
(01:33):
to their ego or slightly less of a pad on
the back and sort of stuck to their guns and
presented themselves as authentically as possible, regardless of the platform
they were performing on. And that's what Kendrick Lamar did
with this halftime show. And I think I want to
dive into to that idea, right. You know, anybody who's
(01:56):
listened to me or follow my content, you know I'm
big on authenticity and I think at its core this
show the idea of like living in the gray Area
and this otherness and you know, yearning for your place
in this world and community. I think it all boils
down to us sort of wanting to find the place
that we fit in, but in a larger sense of
(02:16):
it all being able to you know, to show up
as our authentic selves and be accepted and have a
place where we can feel accepted for who we truly are.
And that is sort of I think what I took
away in watching this performance that I thought was incredibly
special and I think incredibly inspiring, and I think there's
(02:37):
something that we can all sort of take with us
for you know, the various moves that we are making
throughout the course of our lives, in our everyday you know,
movements throughout this this world. And I'm going to I
don't want to like over sell. I think you get
the idea of what we're talking about today. I kind
of just want to dive into what I'm talking about today.
(03:00):
So let's let's without further ado, let's just get to
what I think is a takeaway that many of us
can relate to and what we can apply to our
lives from this performance. So we'll just do a deep
dive in a segment. Call for the people in the back,
say a lot. For the people in the say a
(03:24):
lot for the people in the say a lot of
the people in the So I was kind of struck
by expounding upon this to a degree because I had
posted on my Instagram story after the performance, and I
got like a lot of people sort of saying like, Oh,
(03:46):
I'm kind of confused by your take. I'm surprised by
your take, because what I said was great performance. If
this was an award show or a concert. As far
as Super Bowl halftime performances go, it was a little
bit underwhelming. But with that said, an amazing moment for
the culture, and I think that there was some confusion
(04:13):
there because you know, the obviously there was a lot
of people who are like, oh, we're super Bowl ever,
and like, you know, they happened to be falling under
the umbrella of Trump supporters. Actually, I think Donald Trump
even came out saying, we're super Bowl performance ever. And
at this point, if Donald Trump hates you, it's probably
a compliment. But I wanted to expound upon kind of
what I meant by that, and actually, I think what
(04:36):
made the performance so great was the fact that it
wasn't a great super Bowl halftime performance. And what I
mean by that is the platform of the super Bowl
is one that is universal. Right, there's a universality to
the super Bowl. It doesn't matter if you are a
(04:59):
you know, a hate mongering, you know, bigot who believes
in white nationalism, or you are doctor Umar's biggest fan.
Everybody sort of convenes together for the most part and
watches the super Bowl. Right. It's a day that even
if you're not a sports fan, you're TV is tuned
to this game. And that's what makes the stage, the
(05:22):
halftime performance such a difficult platform because it's supposed to
appeal to a very diverse and conflicting audience, right, and
the people who have had success or the people who
are considered as like the greatest of all time. As
far as the conversation of what's the greatest super Bowl
(05:44):
halftime performance? You know, there are people like Michael Jackson
or Prince or Beyonce, Bruno Mars. These are people whose
catalog reaches far beyond any demographic right, be it generationally,
be it race wise, be it genre. They are just
people who appeal to everybody for the most part. Right. Obviously,
you're never gonna make everybody happy. But someone like a
(06:07):
Kendrick Lamar has a incredible catalog, is a top tier
generational talent, generational defining artist, right. But he is also
not somebody who has that catalog of universality. Right. And
I think when I say that, people think I'm taking
(06:28):
a dig at Kendrick, and it's actually quite the opposite.
Kendrick is not meant to be a great super Bowl
halftime performer, because if he was, he would be a
watered down version of himself, right, And I'm not taking
(06:48):
digs at any of these other great artists. But when
you create music that is universally appealing. Even if it's
just a few songs, you are essentially watering down the
of you as an artist, and you are crafting something
very intentionally meant to sort of be this pop crossover
(07:08):
thing that everybody sort of hums and sings along to, right,
And they are records that we enjoy and we love them,
but they also are oftentimes songs or music that lack depth, right,
And they are are not something that defines a movement
almost right, or a way of thinking. They're just sort
of like the you know, the fun, mindless entertainment that
(07:32):
we watch on TV. Right, And they have their place
in this world. But someone like a Kendrick has been
very intentional with the music that he creates, you know.
And he's not somebody who's dropping, you know, music every
year like many artists do. He's not somebody who's chasing
radio singles. He is very intentional about how he presents
his art at the end of the day, and that's
(07:54):
what makes him so incredibly special and that's what makes
him great, and that's what has made him an artist
that people absolutely love. But that's also what has made
him sort of the antithesis to someone like a Drake, right,
because Kendrick has shown us who he is, what he believes,
and what he stands for, and he's been for the
(08:14):
most part very much sort of ten toes down on
who he is and doesn't stray regardless of the platform
or chasing a certain accolade, whereas a Drake great artist.
But the criticism is, we don't really know who Drake is.
He is sort of this chameleon who navigates in all
(08:35):
different types of you know, genres and generations and has
been incredibly successful in producing hits, but many would argue
his catalog lacks depth, right, that truly connects with people
in a way that is inspiring or you know, defines
a culture. And I think Kendrick is never set up
(08:59):
to be a great super Bowl halftime performer because that
would mean he's essentially somebody who's watered down his art.
And that's sort of what I've been trying to get
at with this conversation. Kendrick is a true artist and
platforms like the super Bowl halftime are not meant for
(09:22):
true artistry. They are meant for sort of the watered down,
make everybody happy type of performance. And again not taking
anything away from other people, but others have sort of
towed this line or I wouldn't even say toad this line,
because I again, you have these greats like Michael Jackson
and Beyonce and their music one percent means something to
(09:45):
the culture, to the community, but they have sort of
primarily focused in the past on producing hits, right, creating
a following a formula, if you will, to creating great
pop music. And that's not to take anything away from
them to say that they are not were, that they're
(10:07):
not valid as a great artist. But for Kendrick, his
goal has always been I'm going to produce great music,
but more importantly, my music is going to have a message,
and everything from the rollout to the topics to the
ad libs, everything is cohesively supposed to sort of tell
a much deeper story than just putting out a you know,
(10:29):
a fire record. And what Kendrick did with this performance
was he did an amazing Kendrick Lamar like top tier
you know, Mount Rushmore of Kendrick Lamar performances was done
on the stage and it was great, but it wasn't
(10:50):
a great super Bowl performance because great Super Bowl performances
often lack authenticity often lack depth. Right. They are artists
playing their biggest hit with a ton of different guests,
and it's all the bells and whistles sort of meant
to give you like that sugary rush rather than give
you anything of meaning. And again, that's what the platform
(11:10):
is meant for, right, It's meant to sort of be
this moment where the world sort of comes together and
just mindlessly enjoys these few hours of entertainment. What Kendrick
did is give you the most unapologetic Kendrick Lamar performance
he possibly could. He gave people the thing that they
love about Kendrick Lamar, right, And as a result, there
(11:34):
are going to be a lot of people turned off
by that, or as a result, he's not going to
deliver what traditionally is expected of a Super Bowl performance.
And you could argue that's what made it great. But
what I'm saying with this entire conversation is Kendrick use
this platform in a way that I think many people
(11:58):
would have been scared to do, because I think you
have two routes you could take when it comes to
something like this, Right, you can either say, Hey, I
know what the people want, I'm going to give them
this polished up my biggest records I possibly can. I'm
going to bring out a ton of different guests, and
(12:18):
I'm going to just try to make this as entertaining
as humanly possible, just for entertainment's sake, because that's sort
of what the stage traditionally calls for. And on the
other side of it, the decision you can make is
I'm going to use this platform which normally would not
be given to people like myself, or would normally be
(12:40):
sort of expect I would normally be expected to play
it safe in a platform like this, and I'm going
to show the world the most authentic version of myself,
knowing that there are going to be a tremendous amount
of people who don't get it, and knowing that it's
probably not going to meet the same sort of state
of general entertainment as what's considered to be some of
(13:04):
the great performances. And what I would argue is that
Kendrick made the more difficult decision and made the more
honorable one. And this is why he cemented his legacy
as a great artist, because he decided to just be
unapologetically Kendrick. And that's not easy to do on this
(13:28):
sort of stage. There's a lot of people's voices in
your you know, in the back of your head, a
lot of people that subconsciously you're wanting to please, right,
A lot of us would have succumbed to that pressure
of sort of feeling like this moment is bigger than us,
so we have to sort of deliver something other than
(13:50):
our normal selves. And what made this so special is
that Kendrick just went up there and delivered a highly
entertaining performance. I'm not taking I'm not saying it wasn't
that at all. There were so many amazing visuals, and
you know, the choreography and all the different movements and
stage setups were incredible, but they were all very much
(14:12):
in line with who Kendrick is. He sort of forced
us to step into his world rather than him sort
of having to step into the world of this platform,
this stage, I think, which I think most artists inevitably
end up doing because they feel the the gravity of
the moment, right, They feel the how big this moment is,
(14:36):
and they sort of feel like they have to step
into this world rather than forcing us to come and
meet them where they are. And I think the genius
of this and why I say it was a great
Kendrick Lamar performance and not particularly a great super Bowl performance,
was because he said, this is what I do. I'm
(14:57):
not going to bend and try and play please everybody.
You're gonna meet me where I am. I don't care
what the chatter is gonna be, as far as you know,
people liking it, not liking it, not knowing who I am,
not on you, I mean, even not playing some of
his biggest hits, right. Him not doing that was him saying,
I'm just giving you my real self and I'm gonna
(15:20):
use this platform as it means to not expand my
celebrity or try and win over a new audience, but
instead to cement this is the artist I am, this
is the man I am, and this is the sort
of period on the incredible year that I have had.
(15:41):
And I'm good if you don't like it and you
don't get it. I'm not here to win anybody over.
I'm here to do me. And that was what was
amazing about it, and I think that's what has made
this a career defining moment for Kendrick Lamar, and I
(16:05):
think what we can all sort of take away from that,
there's a lot, right, there's a lot to unpack with that.
And I think, you know, this is sort of when
I think back about, you know, my own journey and
sort of my shortcomings or difficult moments, or when I
even reflect on why I think it's taken so long
(16:25):
for me to obtain certain things or to get certain opportunities. Obviously,
there's God's timing, there's a universe is timing. There's so
many things that we are not in control of. But
there are certain moments where I was in the right
room at what could have been the right time, but
I didn't show up, you know, the way that I
(16:45):
could have. I bent to the will of what the
norm was, and as a result, I blended in. Right.
And when you blend in and you don't showcase why
you are special, why would somebody think of you for
a extraordinary opportunity? Right? If you're not showcasing yourself as
(17:09):
somebody who is extraordinary, Right, let's break that word down
even deeper. Extraordinary. Right, if you're not showcasing yourself as
somebody who is above average, why would a above average
opportunity come your way? Right? Why would you be thought
of as somebody who is deserving of or ready for
(17:33):
a above average opportunity. And I think that is something
I really like. I don't I can't stress this enough,
you know. I really try to keep that at like
the forefront of my mind as I go about my
everyday life. Right, And this applies in anything, right, Obviously,
(17:56):
I relate to something like this with Kendrick Lamar because
I'm in a creative field. I'm an artist, you know,
And I feel weird saying that out loud. But it's
the same thing when it comes to dating, right, and
you know, feeling like you deserve this great person, right,
you have to have that belief in order for you
to obtain that person or to have a relationship with them, right,
You first must believe that you are worthy of love
(18:19):
and worthy of their love. And a job, right, you
have to feel confident in your ability to do that
job in order for you to really excel at it,
you know, and in your friendships, feeling like you are
somebody who is operating at a high level that you
deserve to be around other people operating at high levels, right,
that are inspiring to you. By all of this, it
(18:43):
comes from you finding the confidence and the self love
needed to be able to live authentically, right, And I
think that that is so much of what holds many
of us back. Right, even if it's like, oh, I
have this job where I'm like underpaid and I hate
(19:03):
my boss and all these different things, but you like
never do anything about it, right. You never go and
apply for another job, You never ask for a raise,
you never address the situation because somewhere in there it's
almost like you don't feel worthy of it, right, or
you are scared that they may not value you, right,
And that's you not showing up authentically at that point, right,
(19:25):
Because if you know you're capable of more, yet you
keep surrounding yourself or keep placing yourself, or you stay
in situations that you know are beneath you, that's not
you living authentically. That is not you prospering in the
way that you were meant to, you know, not shining
in the way that you were meant to. And it's
(19:47):
like the idea of you know, big fish, little ponds, right,
and sort of what how detrimental I think that is
to so much of our growth and who inevitably could become.
But it first starts with the idea of walking unapologetically
(20:11):
as yourself, right, And I think that's so incredibly inspiring
as a takeaway from all of this. And I think
sort of piggybacking off of all of that and apologizes
if I'm kind of like running around, I'm like, you know,
really processing it in the moment as I like to do.
I sort of talk it out here with you. But
(20:34):
I also look at it as like he could have,
like I said, gone the route of like, let me
just give people what they want, let me just give
them a my biggest hits, but let me just start
bringing out random ass people, you know, as a means
(20:55):
to appease those who haven't heard of me or who
aren't a fan of me. Right, he could have done
all of those things. And not to take away from Sizz,
who I thought it was absolutely incredible and that was
such a highlight of a moment or she she sounded
amazing and you know, so happy for her to get
that shot on that stage. But he could have done
(21:16):
the typical thing. He could have, Hey, let me bring
out low Wagne because it's New Orleans. It could have
done this whole thing, right, you're attempted to Obviously there's
complications there. But I think this was sort of again
when I look at that, this moment, this particular situation,
what what is striking, you know? What I take away
from it is sort of like the idea that if
(21:39):
everybody loves you, you are not showing up authentically for yourself,
right you are. That means that if because it's impossible,
if every single person in this world, everybody you interact with,
everybody like just fucking love you and you know, don't
have any issues, and they love your they love what
(22:00):
you say, every word you say everything, that means that
you are literally not doing you're not living authentically because
it's impossible if you are truly living authentically and giving
honest feedback, honest opinions, you know, dressing how you want
to dress, there's no way in how everybody's gonna love
all of that, right, And I don't mean you have
(22:22):
to be fucking hated by the majority of the world,
but there are gonna be people who just don't get it,
who just don't like it. And while that on the
surface is like, oh man, that's crazy. I don't the
idea of somebody not liking me, right, that sounds horrible
and many of us struggled with that growing up or
even as adults, so we still struggle with it, right,
(22:44):
myself included, I even you know, I my like DJ
aesthetic right, and in general life now, I wear a
lot of suits generally speak if I'm out and about
at night, I'm wearing a suit these days, and it's
(23:04):
always a topic of conversation, good or bad. I got
some people who are like, oh, man, dude, I love
that suit. I love what your style and what you're doing.
And then I have other people who, like you know,
friends who will trying to clown to me or make
fun of me for it, right, And at times I'm like, man,
(23:25):
you know what, I'm not getting dressed or whatever. I think.
I've talked about this before. Clothing has been a huge
way for me to build a confidence, but there have
been a lot of times where I've been like getting
ready to go out and I'm like, you know, putting
on this outphit that I think is cool, but I
know is gonna like make me stick out like a
sore thumb, and I'll second guess it again. Maybe I
(23:46):
should just like be more casual today. And I have
to remind myself, like, no, This is you showing up
authentically and the fact that people are noticing it and
have an opinion means that you are doing something different, right,
You are doing something that only you do a cent.
(24:07):
I'm obviously not the only person an suit, but you're
doing something that is authentic and unique to you. And
that's what this world is supposed to be, right, That's
what our lives are supposed to be. We're not supposed
to be these robots, these zombies that sort of just
go about trying to make everybody happy, which A is impossible.
You make so miserable doing so. But B the more
(24:29):
and more you do that, the further and further you
get away from what truly makes you you. And again
Kendrick going the opposite route and saying, I'm gonna give
you the best Kendrick Lamar performance. I don't care about
giving you the best super Bowl performance. I want to
give you the best Kendrick Lamar performance. That right, there
(24:55):
is somebody who is living as their unapologetic, authoruthentic self
and staying true to who they are and being okay
with being disliked. If it means that some people aren't
going to get it, or some people aren't gonna like it,
and we should all be striving to live in that manner,
(25:18):
to be so happy with who we are and to
be so invested in what we believe in that it
doesn't matter the platform, the person, wherever we are, we
will show up as our authentic selves. That's what aids
us in having, you know, real happiness, and that's what
brings true fulfillment in this life when we recognize all
(25:41):
we need and recognize that, recognize just how special we are,
and man, I don't know, just understanding the power that
is authenticity and being unafraid or valuing depth over superficial acceptance. Right,
(26:20):
greatness is real greatness is when you value depth over
superficial accolades. That's real artistry. And that's where real fulfillment
comes in this life as a human being. Is when
you value self love and prioritize who you are and
(26:42):
what you believe in over mass appeal and mass acceptance.
That's how you win this thing called life. And I
think that's what Kendrick did with this performance. Again. He
set out to give you a great Kendrick life performance
and recognize that that is far more important than delivering
(27:06):
something that others would debate as if it was or
wasn't a great super Bowl performance, because a great super
Bowl performance would have been a watered down Kendrick Lamar performance.
And he valued his artistry, who he is as a person,
the culture, his community, over appeasing the naysayers or those
(27:30):
who had never heard of him. He stood ten toes
down on what matters to him most and what he
feels is the highest priority in this world, in this life,
and in this country right now. He valued that over
trying to please everybody. And that's what made this moment
so special. And again, that's fucking goals, man, that's goals.
(27:56):
And I want to talk about this sort of like
reiterate some things I've talked about in the past, right
and in terms of like the idea of how much
you need or how much support you need or whatever
to be happy or be successful. So will pause here,
will say a quick break, and then we'll be right back.
(28:18):
All right, we are back, And I kind of want
to just pick up on a couple of things, like
I guess a couple of personal anecdotes that begin to
kind of come to mind for me when I I
think about this battle, this journey that I've had with authenticity,
(28:38):
and I want to I want to touch in a
couple of things. I want to touch on what happens
when you don't show up authentically, and I want to
talk about what happens when you do show up authentically
and what I mean don't show up authentically. I want
to take it from advantage point of me at a
(29:02):
point in time where the outside world is essentially telling
me I'm killing it, but internally I'm feeling unfulfilled and
like something is missing. And I'll kind of talk about
like a two prong thing. And this is kind of
fresh in my mind because I did a podcast interview
(29:22):
recently last week and they were asking me some questions
about the Breakfast Club, and I've addressed this, you know,
on this podcast and stuff a bunch and sort of
talked about, you know how eventually it just became a
very unfulfilling thing and the only thing was keeping me
there was you know, the I loved everything that came
along with being attached to that show and being in
proximity to like celebrities and sort of the doors that
(29:45):
it opened for me and the rush of all of that. Right,
But I wasn't doing enough work that truly fulfilled me, right,
the work itself didn't fulfill me. And you know, for me,
I find it hard to compartmentalize, right, I find it
hard to sort of clock in and clock out, especially
(30:07):
when I'm like working in a field that I love,
like music and entertainment. It almost becomes incredibly depressing to
think that I'm working in a field I love with
people who I like that I'm unhappy, right, And I
had to make that hard decision to sort of walk
away from it, walk away from and knowing by the
way that my life was going to become far more
(30:30):
difficult in terms of the outside validation and in terms
of getting opportunities. Right, I knew that I would no
longer be able to lean on the fact that I
was a part of this show, that people would want
to be associated with me, right, or would answer my
emails because I was a part of this, or you know,
(30:50):
I was great at like building Instagram relationships because they
would check out my Instagram and like, see, oh shit,
he's with you know, taking a picture with this person,
that person, he's on the breakfast club, blah blah blah. Right,
So it was it made it very easy for me
to do a lot of things, and I knew that
it meant, Okay, this sort of cheat code that I
have is going to be gone. But I have to
(31:12):
be true to myself and know that I feel like
there's so much more I could be doing and should
be doing. And that was incredibly difficult, but it led
me down a path of far more self discovery and
(31:33):
making far more of the type of impact that I
wanted to make. And sort of then after that time period,
right on the surface, I am I'm having sort of
(31:53):
the adult life that was appropriate for somebody in my
age at that point, right. So I around the time
that I had left the breakfast, so I was like
I had just closed on my first property, right, I
was financially in a good place. I was in a
(32:20):
serious my first serious relationship in you know, a very
long time. I was like checking all of the adult things, right.
And this was, you know, sort of on the heels
of the pandemic. So I had stopped djaying during the
pandemic obviously like everybody else. And even as things opened up,
I sort of was telling myself, You're entering a different
(32:41):
chapter of your life essentially, right, You're now in the
adult chapter of your life, and this whole DJ thing
doesn't really fit in with that adult narrative right. Time
to sort of put that dream to bed, to put
that lifestyle to rest, right, doesn't line up with this
(33:02):
adult version of you. And for a while I felt good, like, Hey,
I'm checking all the proverbial boxes, right, I'm making a
good living. I'm making a real adult salary, you know,
for the first time ever. And I'm you know, I'm
you know, making all these improvements to my big boy home. Right,
(33:22):
I'm living by myself. I owned the property again, I'm
in a serious relationship. I'm doing all the things that
I'm supposed to be doing at that time period. But
as time went on and as I sort of drifted
further and further away from music and I listen, don't
get me wrong, I love I wasn't like I went
and became an accountant. No shade to accounts. But it
wasn't like I went and completely left field did something
(33:46):
drastically different than what I love. I was doing podcasting.
I loved podcasting right, and I still do. But I
was sort of trying to kill off parts of myself
almost right, and I was devaluing these parts of myself,
(34:07):
you know, and as a result, I was getting further
and further away from my authentic self, right, and the
irony right from the outside, looking at again my family
or my friends, it was like, oh wow, he's really
got like, you know, his big boy life together, especially
like I was a late late bloomer a terms of that,
(34:29):
because I was an artist. It took a long time
to become profitable in that, right, and it was fortunate
that it happened, but I sacrificed everything in order for
it to happen. Right. I put off being an adult
for a long time, essentially quote unquote adult, and what
would eventually begin to happen for me is sort of
(34:54):
the unhappiness, the lack of fulfillment was slowly eating away
me on the inside. I was suppressing a huge part
of myself, right. And I talk about our passions all
the time. I talk about this sort of otherworldly thing
that's just like injected in us, you know, from an
(35:16):
early age, that for whatever reason, we're just drawn to
this particular thing, right or this area of interest. It
just does something for us. And music has been that
for me, and I always joke, Like, no matter how
much I try to walk away from it, it was
just fucking you know, pulls me back in. And I've
(35:37):
kind of come to a place where it's like I
don't need to justify it to the outside world. I
don't need to make it make sense in terms of like, uh,
you know, how does this make sense in societal's society's
definition of what it means to be an adult? You know,
like it doesn't. It doesn't have to make sense to
(35:58):
anybody but me, right, And I have to be okay
with moving on from people or situations in my life
that don't allow for me to truly be me as
good as it feels to sort of check the in
this case the adult boxes. I have to be okay
(36:23):
with giving up that external validation with the understanding that
the internal validation is far more powerful and is what
needs to be prioritized. And again pulling it full circle
(36:47):
when I look at this performance and sort of the
two ways he could have gone about it, that to
me is sort of, you know, without knowing him or
talking to him, that sort of is the decision right there.
It's like red plue, you know, red plu R, red pill,
blue pill. One pill is you sort of water down
your art for the sake of the masses to get
the larger external approval, or the other side of it
(37:11):
is you just go ten toes down into what got
you here and who you are and what you believe
in and what you stand for and understand that those
who get it will get it and those who don't
are going to unleash a tremendous amount of hate on you.
And you have to be okay with that lack of
(37:33):
mass external validation because you've prioritize and understand the value
of the internal validation you're going to get from just
showing up authentically and doing what you personally will be
proud of doing and what means the most to you
personally and the beauty of the world that we live
(37:54):
in today is you don't need to have the support
of a million in something people. Right, I talked about
this a lot, and anybody in my personal life they
know they like, probably tired of hearing me talk about
the idea of like a thousand true fans. Right It's
Kevin Kelly wrote a blog post about this, But it's
the notion that all you really need is a thousand
(38:15):
true fans. To be successful in your craft, you have
a thousand people who are die hard and buy everything
you put out and support you in every way. That's
all you need to make a living doing what you love, right,
and you could be fulfilled and the fact that you
don't have to water it down because you have these diehards,
right and instead of chasing mass acceptance and having to
(38:43):
bend at the will of others, essentially, and that is
sort of the part that leaves you feeling unfulfilled, is
when you keep giving up a part of yourself just
to make others happy. I don't know if I'm talking
in circles at this point you kind of get the
fucking point of of what I'm even talking about today.
(39:03):
But you know, I really, in my heart of hearts,
this idea of authenticity is so much bigger than like,
you know, your artistry or your brand, or like the
way you dress or the way you talk. All the
authenticity is everything because to me, when I talk about
(39:24):
living authentically, it's your ability to set boundaries, your ability
to tell people how they should or shouldn't treat you,
your ability to express what you're feeling. All of that
is rooted in your comfort of being authentic and oftentimes, like,
(39:48):
you know, I had a situation recently where I had
to kind of check somebody, and in the past, I
would have sort of just been like, I, wo whatever,
do what you're gonna do. I would have, you know,
pretended like I was okay with it, or I kind
of would have brushed off and just been like whatever,
But in the back of my mind I would have
made like a mental note of like I'm pissed at
this person, I'm not gonna fuck with them anymore, blah
blah blah, And that sort of avoidance of confrontation would
(40:14):
lead to like a relationship that never would be the
same or maybe unnecessarily rotted away because I didn't just
set a boundary and address how it's feeling so that
we can sort of move past it, or we could
stop the action that would take place that would sort
(40:37):
of move us to the place of no return. And
as somebody who's living far more authentically now, I addressed
it right then and there and let them know how
I felt, and you know, luckily they were receptive to it,
and we can now move past it and we don't
have to have this weird tension that would have been
(41:00):
left because of words left unspoken because I was afraid
to be authentically me and express how I was feeling
by their actions or their planned actions. And again that's
a small example of like that might that probably just
saved our relationship or help maintain it, just me being
(41:21):
honest and setting that boundary. I eat me being authentically me.
And that's why this whole you know, that's why I
approached this so heavily and why I look for opportunities
to sort of discuss it or talk about it, is
because I just know how powerful and important it is
(41:45):
in every aspect of our everyday lives. You know. It's like,
you know, imagine, like you know, you're imagine if every day,
three meals a day, you had to eat food that
you absolutely hated, and you're you're eating it because you're, like,
(42:08):
you know, too afraid to tell somebody like, hey, I
don't like this food, or you're too afraid to like,
you know, switch up your routine and stop at a
place you actually like, rather than just stop it at
the same place you've been stopping at for years or whatever. Right,
Imagine like as stupid and silly as that sounds. Just
imagine how miserable you would be if every fucking meal sucked, right,
(42:30):
and it could have easily been changed. But like it's
a result of you just not doing the little things
needed to help ensure and give yourself the best chance
of having an enjoyable meal, you know, And that's basically
what we're doing every time we sort of don't take
advantage of an opportunity to show up authentically, or we
(42:51):
choose to make other people comfortable, or we choose to
do what's easy or convenient rather than doing what truly,
you know, is is what we want essentially, And unlike,
you know, the food thing, it would be pretty detrimental.
I love food, but in the grand scheme of it all,
it's probably not that huge of a deal, right, because
(43:12):
you're getting nutrients you need. But in our everyday lives,
this affects our level of happiness and fulfillment, which then
affects how we show up in this world, which affects
the opportunities that we get. It affects our entire quality
of life. I really do think much of our quality
(43:33):
of life is predicated on how much we are showing up,
how much or how little we're showing up as our
authentic self. I truly do believe that. And I thought
this was like a powerful sort of moment to showcase
and as like just a little caveat anybody following the
beef with Drake and Kendrick and things like that. Outside
(43:57):
looking in, I don't know these people. But when I
see Drake and I'm a fan, to me, it's it's
somebody who is like, we don't know who he is,
and I think and and as a result, it's to me,
it's somebody who is trying to seek out that mass approval.
(44:19):
He's still trying to make everybody love him right. And
I think when we look at this like beef and
the results of it, what bothers him the most is
how much people seem to not approve of him right
or or dislike him. And so much of his career
(44:42):
as an artist and musically and bending and twisting and
like the way he looks and talks and all these
different things. It's it's it's like somebody who is is
relying so much on that mass appeal, that gigantic sort
of like you know, notoriety. It's like somebody just the
love of other people and yeah, he's given us some
(45:06):
bangers and stuff that we all play. And quite frankly,
most people listen to Drake more than listen to Kendrick,
or as a DJ, you play more Drake than you
do Kendrick. But I think internally and you could see
it in some of his actions, it's somebody who is like, man,
why don't why can't I get y'all's respect? Right? Like
as like the hip hop community, the hardcore hip hop
(45:27):
heads don't respect him, and you could see that it's
still that that hurts him. And that's like the greatest
takeaway from his whole thing is like he wants to
get the respect that Kendrick gets. But Kendrick gets that
respect because he has decided to go a different route
and against you know, different things for different people, but
(45:47):
Kendrick's route has been far more predicated on authentically sort
of staying true to who he is and what he
believes in, rather than chasing the next trend or chasing
what's hot. And the ironic part about it, as I
sort of tease the idea of what happens when you
show up authentically, the ironic part about it is you
(46:08):
end up finding community and acceptance when you start walking
that authentic path, and maybe it's not from the masses,
but it feels far more fulfilling because it's from people
who see you, truly see you, and embrace you. Right,
(46:31):
And that's like this podcast. There's a lot of Latinos
that still don't agree with me or believe I'm lesser
than or whatever it might be. But within this journey
of life as a Gringo, I've found other people who
relate in some sort of way Latinos or non Latinos,
and I've found my place and I'm far more fulfilled
(46:51):
and far more comfortable in my own skin as a result.
And again, it's not the masses telling me that they
love me, but it is the ability to find that
acceptance via my authentic self that is delivering a level
(47:13):
of fulfillment that I never had before, or a level
of confidence in myself that I never had before, or
a level of comfortability in my own skin that I've
never had before. And of course it's an ongoing journey,
but if I think about myself, you know, four years
ago to where I am now, it's crazy to sort
of see the way that I am moving, where I'm
(47:34):
far more okay with people not liking me or disagreeing
with me, if it means that I'm going to be
able to be far more you know, convicted in the
things that I say and things that I do, or
or have far more conviction than the things that I
say and do. Right, that's providing me with a level
of real fulfillment and happiness regardless fits you know, by
(48:00):
the largest audience humanly possible. And it's why I feel
confident now showing up in rooms and taking up space,
and why I feel confident, you know, dressing a certain
way that you know others might not like, but it
feels good to me. And it's why I've gotten certain
opportunities is because I'm showing up differently than most, because
(48:21):
I'm just showing up as me, and nobody can do
me the way that I do me right, and that's
the beauty of all this. So yeah, with that said,
I feel I just wrap things up right there, but
we'll we'll quickly wrap things up in a segment call
for the people in the bag. No, my mind is
all over the place right now. I'm really hyped on
(48:42):
like this. I'm like, I'm gonna pause here. Let me
pause my brain for a second. I'm very hyped in general,
but I feel very like energized by that conversation, like
I needed to hear that. I hope you did too,
Like I need to hear that for a second, as
like just this reminder, like keep doing what you're doing.
(49:04):
With that said, that's time of thing we talk about
saying a neat little boat in a segment call conclusion
still time for come all right, So obviously I'm ready
to run through a fucking wall right now. I'm like,
I'm feeling really energized and pumped up after all we're
talking about so and I think, again, that's like the
(49:26):
beauty of it. It's like that you look at these moments,
the power of it when you reflect on sort of
what somebody like Kendrick just did. It's you know, sort
of proof that you can show up as who you
are and stay true to what you believe in and
fight for the causes that you believe in and still
be given massive opportunities. And when you do get those opportunities,
(49:51):
it's crucial to not give in to the wounded voice
in your head that is searching for mass approval, but
to sort of remain true to the ideas and the
fundamentals and the person that got you said opportunity right,
and stay true to that person. And as long as
(50:15):
you do that, I think you can always sort of
find comfort in however life sort of plays itself out.
You know that, as long as you know you did
what's best for you, the human being first, and what
is authentically on brand for you and the life that
you want to live, I think there's a comfort in
that and of fulfillment in that for sure. So yeah,
(50:40):
I hope that was comforting or energizing for people listening.
With that said, thank y'all so much for tuning in.
I'll catch you on Thursday for our Thursday trans episode,
So then stay safe and we shall talk soon. Life
as a Good Inago is a production of The Micro
through That Podcast Network and iHeartRadio.
Host
DJ Dramos
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com