April 24, 2025 • 50 mins
Trump says tariffs on China are coming down, but not disappearing, as major retailers push back against rising costs. Meanwhile, a prisoner swap proposal between Latin American leaders stirs international tension, and a viral debate has Gen Z women asking: is marriage still a good deal? Plus, Pedro Pascal makes a bold statement for trans rights without saying a word.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Alright, let me talk about Tom. Here we go. He said,
you live in Life as a Gringo, where you questioned
where you fit in Every time you mingle, they say
you do this with not of that. This life has
a gingo.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Yes, hello, and welcome to an episode of Life as
a Gringo. I am dramas, of course, and it's Thursday,
so it means time for our Thursday trends at pisode
and man kind of crazy. I was doing the math
today because I had a couple of meetings and a
couple of emails I was sending around before getting the trends. Yeah,
(00:43):
we have about two and a half weeks left of
Life as an Ingo. Two and a half weeks left crazy.
That's literally we have five episodes after this.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
One left, and then we put a fork in it
and this chapter ends. Now I can't give away details,
but I'm not gonna leave y'all hanging. Something else is coming,
That's all I could say for now. Something else is coming,
something I'm really excited about. I feel like the next
(01:20):
step of my career in media, the next iteration of
you know my brain and where I'm at, It's coming.
So stay tuned. Thank you, for the support. Thank you in
advance for the support. On the next chapter. With that said,
what are we talking about today? Today? We're talking about
Donald Trump chakra I note and him backing down on
(01:42):
these China tariffs. We're gonna talk about what's happening between
the presidents of al Salvador and Venezuela. Beefin Twitter, beefin.
We're gonna talk about marriage, as research has come out
against marriage and against it being a positive in today's society.
(02:05):
We'll talk about that, get your thoughts. And lastly, in
a positive note for me had the segment, we will
talk about Edro Bascal, who continues to just be an
incredible human being and in his own way taking a
stand and fighting for marginalized communities. So we will talk
about that first foremost, as we always do, Let's start
(02:26):
with the nonsense, the bs. In a segment, we call
for the people in the back, say a.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Lot for the people in the say a lot of
the people in the say a lot of the people of.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
All right, let's first and foremost start with Donald Trump
quickly when it comes to these tariffs. Now, Donald Trump
said during a White House news conference that high tariffs
on goods from China will quote come down substantially, but
it won't be zero. Donald Trump's remarks were in response
to earlier comments on Tuesday by Treasury Secretary Scott Bessant,
(03:09):
who said that the high terraffs were unsustainable and that
he expects a quote de escalation in the trade war
between the world's two largest economies, the US and China.
Trump had placed an import tax of one hundred and
forty five percent on China, which has countered with one
hundred and twenty five percent tariffs on US goods. Trump
(03:31):
has placed tariffs on several dozen countries, causing the stock
market to stumble and interest rates to increase on US
debt as investors worry about slower economic growth and higher
inflationary pressures. Now, a couple things here before I get
into the next tagline of this story, tell me you
(03:54):
don't know what you're doing. Without telling me you don't
know what you're doing. And this is his presidency in
a nutshell, and his followers, his supporters will find creative
ways to flip the script on this and spin it.
(04:15):
But the reality is this, He's stabbing in the dark.
He's all force, no tacked no strategy. He's basically just
playing a big game of fuck around and find out,
And unfortunately you and I are the people who end
(04:36):
up being affected by this the most. And again it's
further proof that there was never some grand idea. It
was just him having a pissing contest, essentially him not
knowing what the fuck he's doing, and continuously, time and
time again he does these crazy things, only to have
(04:58):
to backtrack on them when they inevitably blow up in
his face because once again he really has no idea
what he's doing. Now, three of the nation's top retail leaders,
Walmart's Doug McMillan, Targets Brian Cornell, and Home Deepot's Ted Decker,
met with Trump at the White House to present their
case against the administration's proposed tariff policies, advising that tariffs
(05:21):
will raise consumer prices and could potentially disrupt retail supply
chains and lead to product shortages. No shit, you don't
have to be an executive at a major retailer to
come to that conclusion. But of course it doesn't take
you and I complaining about this. It takes some rich
(05:43):
executives for big brands to wring the alarm and for
Trump to listen, because we live in a world, and
we live in a country, and we have a president
who really is only catering to one group of people.
He's playing the game and making you think that he
gives a shit about people. And he pretends and says
(06:04):
all these you know, these these beautiful, placating things, but
at the end of the day, he is only here
to serve the wealthy and only backtracks not when you
and I are having issues, but when the wealthy begin
to feel uncomfortable. And that's more of what we see here.
There's not really anything else to dig into it. It's
just another reminder of a his ineptitude and the ineptitude
(06:28):
of those around him. But b he's only listening to
and his only concern is making the rich happier. Moving on,
another story happening. You'll you'll remember that President bukel Or
(06:51):
from Ali savadors Trump's new best friend. He's the person
working with Trump taking in deportees into a prison in
El Salvador. Now he's offering Venezuelan President Maluo a unique proposal,
a prisoner swap. President Buquel is offering the Venezuelan deportees
(07:14):
set to All Salvador from the US in exchange for
quote political prisoners. The Venezuelan government and President Madudo spoke
out against this proposal, calling on the release of Venezuelans
detained in El Salvador. Speaking on national television, President Madudo
Venezuela spoke out against President Buguel of El Salvador. It's
(07:35):
funny I looked up the pronunciation that said, and I
can't remember, but spoke out of Madula from Venezuela spook
out against this proposal, criticizing the Salvadorian president and calling
for an immediate proof of life for those that are
currently detained. Additionally, he called for the Salvadoran government to
allow attorneys and families to access the prisoners sooner than later.
(07:56):
He added quote set them free unconditionally. Auditional release for
the youth detained in Al Salvador. President Maduda has voiced
his opinion on the Venezuelan's currently being held at Salvador
in prisons. He condemned the detention as kidnapping and forced
disappearance of hundreds of Venezuelan nationals sent to Al Salvador
from the US. Additionally, President Madudo of Venezuela has demanded
(08:20):
to know the whereabouts and well being of the Venezuelan nationals.
President Buge responded by offering the prisoner swap once again.
And the reason I bring up the story aside from
the disgusting way that people are being weaponized and used
as a political tactic now by not just the United
(08:42):
States of America, but here in El Salvador. For there
in El Salvador, should say, how is it that the
man that was wrongfully sent to Al Salvador, it's impossible
for them to release him to the custody of the
United States. Yet it's somehow, some way very easy, and
actually the idea of the president of El Salvador to
(09:04):
swap prisoners for other prisoners in Venezuela. Now, I may
not be an expert of foreign affairs and immigration laws
and all these different things, but it seems like if
you're able to release one group of people from your prison,
you probably can release one person from your prison to
(09:27):
get them on their way home, especially when they're legal
citizen of the United States and the Supreme Court has
ruled that they need to be brought back home. So
this is all bullshit. And the irony of this what's
also discussing in that story. And I apologize for watching
the video of this and I'm rubbing my eyes algae season.
(09:49):
That's what all I have to say. But the disgusting
part about this is what happens when Donald Trump and
Fox News and all these followers of MAGA, what they
do to sort of erase their own fuck up. And
(10:11):
they're the worst kinds of people because they acknowledge the
fuck up. The Supreme Court is ruled they fucked up,
and they need to return this man back to his
family in Maryland. But what are they doing. They're smearing
his name in the public and in the press. They're
finding ways to try and not only call him, but
connect him to the MS thirteen gang when there's been
(10:33):
no credible evidence shown. So rather than doing what they're
supposed to do, their idea of cleaning up their mess
is beyond victim blaming, but smearing the name of an
innocent man just to make themselves look better in the
(10:55):
court of public opinion. That's it's absolutely disgusting. Again, I
he I brought this in the past. This is why
I have a problem with Alex Rodriguez. The baseball player.
He got caught with steroids, and rather than fasting up
to it, the tech that took his test, he accused
that tech of tampering with the test, and that tech
(11:16):
ended up losing their job, only for it to come
out later on, and only for Alex Rodriguez to admit
later on that yes, he was on steroids. That's you're
a disgusting individual when you allow your mistakes and you
don't take responsibility for them. I should say, you don't
take responsibility for your mistakes, and even worse, you then
(11:38):
crash and burn the lives of innocent people just to
make yourself look better. It's disgusting and that's what we're seeing.
And again I brought up the story because how is
it you're able to swap one person to the other country,
but all of a sudden it's impossible to do what
the courts are ordering you to do. And getting this
man back to his family in Maryland, who is rightfully
(12:01):
in the United States of America, just disgusting. But again,
in the world we live in. With that said, we
will take a quick break here and then when we
come back, we'll talk about marriage. All right, we are
back and let's talk about marriage specifically. This article is
(12:21):
written from the perspective of women from Army Too, and
they ask is marriage still a good deal for women?
There's a lot of topic of conversation, I guess on
TikTok happening, and there's a lot of research going into
this conversation. Now, the article they talk about how, according
to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics American Time Use Survey.
(12:44):
That's a mouthful, employed women will work a full day
around seven hours and twenty minutes, while also doing more
child care and household chores than men. This includes cooking, leaning,
and parenting. Men on average do less of all three.
(13:05):
As women's work hours increase, their sleep and leisure time
have decreased. The pressure is so intense that even rest
is a luxury. Yet many women still feel like marriage
is a requirement, not a choice. Now I'll pause here
for a second. Absolutely, and I don't mean absolutely like
(13:28):
this is a good thing. I mean I get it.
I lived this my parents, and not that I don't
think my mom, you know, no shame to anybody who does,
but my mom is just not that personality. But my
mom worked full time, my dad worked full time, and
my mom commuted to the Bronx every day from New Jersey.
(13:51):
It was a teacher dealing with kids all day long,
and she was still expected to maintain the house, to
and to do the bulk of the work when it
came to parenting the children. Not to say that my
dad wasn't there, but if we're comparing, he had the
(14:15):
easier role of the two of them, and that was
the norm, and nobody even thought twice about like, hey,
I wonder what mom's going through, right, And that's how
I grew up and that's what I saw as normal.
Now I'm blessed and that I feel like I've had
enough life experience where I can recognize, wow, that is
(14:37):
not okay. And I'm not married, of speaking from a
single perspective, I don't even kids either, but yeah, that
doesn't sound like a deal that I would want to
get into if I was a woman, and we've normalized
that wrongly. I think as a result, you're seeing a
(15:02):
lot of women burnt out from their relationship more so
than men, or b reflecting on if they really want
to get married or not. Now, the article goes on
and saying it's a longer article as I was doing you.
I'll have the link in the show notes if you
really want to dive into it. But they say, despite
lingering stigma, divorce is increasingly being reframed as a liberating decision.
(15:25):
According to a study from Kingston University in London, women
are significantly happier for up to five years post divorce.
Why freedom autonomy a shot at career growth and personal fulfillment.
They say that sixty nine percent of divorces are initiated
(15:49):
by women. Many people say they feel lonelier in marriage
than they ever did when they were single. This is
heavy shit and it speaks to a lot of different things, right,
And I found this sort of article just I think
a fascinating topic of conversation. But I think that sort
(16:12):
of stuck out to me, the idea that many people
feel lonelier in marriage than they ever did when they
were single. And I have so many thoughts that there's
so many angles you can kind of take with this.
I think, what's immediately going through my head as I
think about this A I think a lot of people,
(16:33):
particularly of my generation, got married way too young or
without enough life experience. I think that's one of the
issues I'm at the age now where a lot of
my friends, not a lot, but a good chunk of
(16:56):
friends that got married are now going through a divorce
or are already divorced, and it's just, you know, I
think it's an interesting conversation around the idea. And they
(17:21):
said this in the article that marriage is a requirement, right,
A lot of people, as with anything in life, trying
to do the quote unquote right thing and check a
particular box and maybe not knowing what their boxes are, right, like,
(17:43):
what their thing is that they are looking for in
a partner, or maybe not even having developed enough to
know what real partnership is. And obviously there are some
people who are blessed that they've been able to develop
together marriage and that they're both on the same page
of understanding their flaws and shortcomings and wanting to get
(18:06):
better and be better partners for one another. Right, that's
the goal of the dream. But there are probably a
lot of people, and obviously with these divorce rates, a
lot of people who a don't want to do the
work or are unaware that there's a problem in general,
that they have a really skewed view of what it
means to be in a relationship and don't know what
(18:28):
it means to truly be in partnership, or maybe don't
even know themselves enough to know what they really want
from said relationship. And you know, I am I'll still
claim mid thirties at this point. I'm on the cusp
mid to late thirties. Y'all right, I'm gonna hold out
(18:51):
to mid thirties for a second, give me one more year.
But I do feel the pressure, right I get it
from family and in general when I think about wanting
to start a family, the idea of being the old parent,
and I feel that pressure. But also I've gotten to
(19:15):
know myself and done so much work and not rushed
into things for the sake of checking boxes. And of
course I have at times, but I've never you know,
pulled that trigger that I have far more clarity on
what I want and far more clarity on what I
don't want. And I could see what I don't want
(19:37):
coming a mile away, and even like like single me
and I don't know why this is, this is not
you know, there's like my deposition play this for my
family to explain why why their son is still single,
but or why my niece said nephew, don't have cousins
to play with on my end. But even now, like
(20:01):
single me is different than single me whatever it was
six years ago. I'm not even entertaining people casually that
I don't feel like I could hold the conversation with right,
even if you're attractive. I'm so weary of like, yeah,
(20:21):
but what happens after the sex. I don't want to
have to have an awkward car ride home or an
awkward morning, or I just don't want somebody I don't
really fuck with on a personal level being in my
home right that supersedes the physical, you know, pleasure of sex.
(20:48):
And that's where I'm at. And I think when you
are clear on what you want, clear and what you
don't want, it's you're not going to be entertaining everything,
and rightfully so you shouldn't be. But also that means
you're gonna have a hard time finding that other person
just because you're fine tuning what you're looking for, right,
(21:10):
So the results are getting few and fewer, And I
don't think that's a bad thing. It's just a part
of the process of truly, I think finding what you're
looking for in a soulmate and a long term partner.
Now that I think that's one aspect of it is
people got into relationships young, weren't clear on what they
(21:31):
wanted what they didn't want, and now they're far more
clear as they've gotten older, and far less tolerant of
things that don't align with that. I think also, as
I as I mentioned, a lot of us just don't
know or don't didn't grow up seeing examples of what
it meant to be truly in partnership right. A lot
(21:56):
of especially I think in the Latin community, a lot
of the old school dialogue of traditional gender roles of
the wife maintains the house and mostly parents the kids.
And as economic turns have happened and things are far
(22:17):
more expensive, most families have no choice but to have
two working you know parents, And rightfully so many women
want to be able to explore their interests as far
as career goes. But we haven't sort of adjusted. But
what does that mean then, in the traditional sense of
(22:41):
the gender role in the household, that has to be
adjusted as well, because it's not fair to say, okay,
yeah you can go and experience your own life, or yeah,
we need you to work because we need extra money.
But don't forget, I still expect you to do the
traditional role as well. So not only are you doing
sort of my traditional role, on top of that you're
doing you're doing your role. You're doing two roles at
the same time, essentially, And it's unfair. And I can
(23:04):
see why women are at a higher rate initiating divorce
than men. We have it easy, and I think that's
probably part of the problem as well, is there's not
real conversations around or or as men not having real
conversations of how do we be better partners and not
(23:27):
place these unrealistic expectations on our wives essentially, right, And
I think there's a lot again to unlearn. Again. I
grew up in that and I didn't see anything wrong
with it, right, I didn't. I didn't. It never phased
me that maybe my mom was burnt out right, And
(23:49):
I say that as like, well into adulthood, it didn't
stop and phase me, like what like I'm talk about
just like a few years ago, I for what reason,
I started like really having far more appreciation for all
that my mom has done and continues to do and
(24:12):
recognize and think, wow, we placed a lot on her
fucking shoulders. And continue to do so. And she never
asked for anything in return, or never asked for much,
or I don't think she's even aware of how unfair
it is, that extra burden, And I think that's something
(24:33):
we need to you know, I think the I think
I think we're getting better. I think we're trending in
the right direction. But I think that is you know,
these are all contributing factors to why we're probably seeing
these staggering divorce rates, because again, in a good way,
(24:53):
as you remove the stigma of divorce, you now allow
people to say, Hey, I'm not going to waste my
life with someone who refuses to get on the same
page as me just because I don't want to be
torn apart in the court of public opinion, Like fuck that.
(25:17):
I'm going to make the most of this thing called
life because it's short and it's like as much as
it like, it's weirdly like jumps out at you when
they say that divorce is being reframed as a liberating decision,
(25:38):
I get it. Why stay in a situation that no
longer serves you? And I think I guess my hope.
My hope would be a couple of things to make
this have a point, I guess I would hope that
the younger generation understands they have time and try to
(26:00):
get to know themselves before jumping into a serious relationship,
and understands what they really want, what they need, and
what they don't want, and doesn't fall victim to the
trap of trying to meet societal expectations, but instead is
prioritizing what truly makes them happy. And for people of
(26:25):
my generation and older, not taking for granted the gravity
of the decision you're making when it comes to breaking
off a long term relationship or divorce. You know, not
sort of doing that on impulse, but if you truly feel,
after some time and some thought, that it's the right
(26:47):
decision for you, there's no reason to have shame around
reclaiming your life and and moving forward you've come to
realize what it is that you truly want. You know,
this life is incredibly short, and while I don't think
(27:10):
the decision again should be taken lightly, it should be
taken as a heavy one because it is, and taken
with lots of consideration and forethought. If it is the
right decision for you, you deserve to be happy. And
I think we all need to unlearn a lot of
(27:34):
the bullshit from previous generations and think to ourselves about
how we can truly show up and look at this
as more than just the thing you're supposed to do.
But how do we create actual partnership? How do I
be good for this other person and have no shame
(27:57):
in saying, Hey, maybe it's gonna take me longer to
find somebody who I truly want to be with, but
I'm not going to settle because I'm okay alone as well.
There's nothing wrong being alone. There's nothing wrong with not
having kids. I think about this all the time. As well.
As much as I've sort of always been like, oh,
I'm definitely having kids, there's a part of me that says, hey,
(28:17):
I'm kind of open to maybe that if it's not
in the cards, it's not the cards. I feel like
I really want to give it some more thought, to
be quite honest with you, rather than just saying it's
what I'm supposed to do now. I definitely know I
want to get married and have a good woman by
my side and have a true partnership. But do I
know for a fact that I want to have kids.
(28:39):
I don't know anymore. And that's a recent revelation. And
I'm not guilty myself because I know it's what I'm
supposed to do, is have kids, and you know, my
my parents happy and give them more, you know, more
grand babies than they have. But I have to think
about what type of life do I want. I kind
of like freedom that I have to have experiences that
(29:02):
I want, sort of when I want. As selfish as
that might sound, I get a lot of enjoyment out
of the lifestyle that I live right now. And it's
not a lifestyle of like random hookups, getting fucked up
all the time or whatever it is, but just the
simple freedoms of not having a ton to worry about
(29:23):
if I feel like going to travel, if I'm thinking
about spending half my time in Puerto Rico. Right, I
have a dog who I love so much. But as
small of a burden as that seems, and I hate
to call a burden, but there's responsibility there. I'm not
able to just move the same way as I would
(29:46):
have if I didn't have him, and I feel like,
you know, he's been a great teacher in that so yeah,
I don't know. Again, you have to do what's best
for you, and I guess a lot of people are
doing that. And while maybe for traditional standards or you know,
lovers of love, if you will, it might be sad
(30:07):
to see people getting divorces or doing these things. Again,
I always subscribe to doing what's best for you and
getting clear on what actually makes you happy and moving accordingly.
And also I think articles like this one statistics it
should make us look in the mirror and say, hey,
what bullshit am I carrying around? That? If I am
in a relationship or am in a marriage, that what
(30:30):
am I carrying around or doing? Or how am I
not showing up in a way that's fair? Or am
i am I truly making my partner feel seen right
in our relationship and fulfilling their needs as well, not
just thinking about my own. I think as men, we're
(30:51):
so used to we've been ingrained in sort of having
the women in our lives be at our back and
call that we don't even think twice about, like, but
what do they feel? Like? What do they actually want?
We just assume that that's what they want to do,
and maybe sometimes they do, but I could almost guarantee
that there are plenty of times where they wish or
have wished that someone would do that for them because
(31:14):
they truly do deserve it. And again, that's what equal
partnership is about. So I don't know, just an interesting
food for thought to break up. Also, like just the
fucking I don't know political toxicity of the world that
we live in. With that said, let's talk about some
positivity in Army hit this segment. But first we'll take
a quick break and then we'll be right back. All right,
(31:48):
So I guess a quick little story here or a
quick article that I found and I saw it floating
around on social media and I just had to applaud
this man, benro Bascal. He had a a shirt that
was speaking in favor of trans writes and he was
wearing it at the UK premiere of the movie Thunderbolts.
(32:10):
And this is a simple way of standing up and
a simple way of making a declaration, but I think
an effective one. And again, when I always harp on
anybody with a platform, I think you do have a responsibility.
(32:32):
And these are the things I talk I mean when
I say that it doesn't always have to be the
most grandiose thing. It could also be just making a
statement in a subtle way, because when you have the platform,
it's going to reach a lot of people. Now, he's
known for championing LGBTQ plus rights, but he stepped on
(32:54):
the red carpet wearing a white tea that simply said
protect the Dolls, which is a direct and defiant show
of support for trans women a mid rising global backlash
and the shirt was designed by Connor I Think It's Ives,
who debuted it during London Fashion Week in February. The
(33:17):
design was a reaction to the mounting anti trans rhetoric scene,
both in the US and abroad. Dall is a termative
eendearment rooted in LGBTQ plus and ballroom culture, specifically referring
to trans women and ives. Wasn't the only one making
their shirt go viral. Troy Savon picked it up and
wore during Charlie XCX's Coachella set. Tom Ford's creative director
(33:40):
Hayter Akerman posted a self it wearing it. Proceeds from
the t go to the shirt, I should say, go
to the trans Lifeline, a nonprofit that provides peer support
for trans people in crisis, and even that right, He's
gonna wear the shirt A ton of people are gonna
see it and go out to buy it, and it
raises money for it. This incredible nonprofit that is advocating
(34:03):
for trans people, and this is again having a platform
and doing it right. It's very simple. These are the
types of things that, in my book, get you major
points that you don't have to get into debates, You
don't have to always, you know, be out there and
(34:25):
picketing or whatever it might be. Everybody has a role
that they can play and that they're able to play.
It's something as simple as this is moving and it
moves the needle, especially as a Latin man, to come
out and have that support that continue to support. I
should say, it's a beautiful thing. There's so much stigma
(34:47):
and to their point, there's so much anti trans rhetoric,
particularly in our political environment, and these are just people
who are trying to live life in in the best
way that they see fit for them. And they're not
doing anything that imposes on your way of living, your
(35:10):
quality of life. And that's the fucked up part about
all of the anti LGBTQ plus backlash that we see,
all the anti immigrant backlash, Like these are people just
trying to live their life. They're not hurting you, they're
not doing anything to directly affect your quality of life.
Yet you are targeting them, be it the rhetoric, be
(35:36):
a your actions and impeding on their ability to live
a happy life. That's the difference. They're not doing that
to you, You're doing it to them. You're seeking them out.
And it's crazy that in twenty twenty five, we still
have people with so much hate in their heart. And
(35:57):
I'm a bit spoiled because I've grown up in the
New York City area. I had family members who were gay,
my uncle, my parents, you know, to their credit, were
very progressive for their time period. I was in. I
(36:21):
was in my uncle's wedding as the as a little kid,
I think I was the was the ring bear right
and for a gay wedding, And then growing up in
the New York City area, and then as I'm older,
being asked to be a part of events like Pride
in New York City and dj and in Jersey City.
(36:42):
One of my residencies is at a gay club at
a at a you know, lgbt Q plus club, and
a lot of friends I've made there are are gay
and summer trans You know, and it's just crazy that
(37:13):
people can look past the fact that these are people
just like you and I and they're not asking for
some special treatment. They're just asking for you not to
condemn them and not to impede on their ability to
live a quality life. And there are so many stories
(37:40):
that break my heart about what they had to go
through just to be able to walk in their authenticity.
And I think that's probably what touches me the most
is as you all know, you know, authenticity is really
at the center of so much of what I do,
and my inability to walk authentically is such a big
part of my story. And I think that's why I
relate and have such a soft spot spot outside of
(38:02):
the human element, but I relate on a deeper level
is because of that. And last thing I'll mention this,
I've been seeing clips go around Pete Wood, judge mayor
p He ran for president in for the twenty twenty
election and then he worked under Biden and he's one
(38:25):
of the more prominent Democrats. But he was on Andrew
Schultz's podcast, and yeah, I know there's a lot of
where Andrew Schultz has gone. There's a lot of opinions
on that. That's a different conversation. But anyway, Pete Bota
Judge is a veteran. He did, I believe, two tours
of duty in Iraq. He actually had. He got deployed
while he was the mayor in Indiana, and he talks about,
(38:49):
if I'm not mistaken about the timeline, when he was deployed,
he hadn't come out as gay yet, and if I'm
not mistaken, when you get deployed, the army has you
write a letter essentially, just in case you don't get
to return home. It's you writing a letter to your
family essentially, And he hadn't come out as gay yet.
(39:14):
And I believe he talks about in the letter he
admits that he's gay, right, and it's this letter that
won't be said to anybody unless something happens to him.
But essentially, as him speaking is truth for the first time.
And he talks about how here he was an adult male.
(39:41):
I believe at this point he's twenty nine or thirty
and he has yet to experience love because he hasn't
come out. And he told himself that if and when
I get back home, I'm not going to hide anymore.
I want to experience love. I want to have a
(40:03):
family and do all the things that all of us
I think strive for. And I just find that to
be so heartbreaking in so many different ways. And obviously
it's a few years back at this point, but still
current enough that it's wow that that was even a thing.
(40:26):
But these are people who are holding back and not
able to live their lives as themselves because of all
the bullshit and narratives that we create and that we
give into, and the hate that exists. And that's not okay.
(40:52):
It's incredibly sad. And you know, that's why it's important
to speak up for any marginalized community. Nobody should have
to live in the shadows or live in fear. Everybody
deserves the right to a happy and high quality life.
(41:17):
But that said, let's uh tie everything we talked about
today in a neat little bow in a segment we
call conclusions to time for contan soon. All right, quickly
summarizing all we talked about. Trump obviously doesn't know what the
fuck he's doing. He's now backing down on the crazy
(41:39):
terror freight that he had with China. Shocker, more Trump
being Trump, he does something crazy. He realizes he has
no idea he's doing. It blows up his face and
he has to backtrack. They put some sort of stupid
spin around spin on it. They will frame this as
a win somehow, even though it's not. And this is
you know, unfortunately the psych or were trapped into for
(42:01):
the next four years, presidents of El Salvador and Venezuela
going at it having Twitter fingers. Essentially. I bring up
to this article again because the president of L Salvador
who said it's impossible for him to return even though
there's a Supreme Court order on this, it's impossible for
(42:21):
to return the man who is wrongly deported from Maryland.
He can't get him back to the US. It's just
impossible somehow, someway. It's also it's possible, though, for him
to send prisoners from those same prisons to Venezuela, another country.
Make it makes sense. The conversation around marriage and think
day you have to do what is what is best
(42:44):
for you, and I think again it's a two prong conversation.
A we have to all learn how to be better partners.
And I think more than anything, men unlearning some of
the toxic masculinity or the traditional gender roles and not
saying we lose those I think there's positives to it,
(43:05):
but adjusting the you know what those roles literally are
with the understanding that we live in a world where
for many of us, our wives or our partners are
also going to be working career wise just as hard
as us, if not harder, and we need to pick
(43:26):
up some of the shit that they have to deal with,
right and we need to do more than we've traditionally
been asked for as a result because they're doing more.
On the flip side of it, you have to be
unafraid to do what really makes you happy and not
allow yourself to a jump into a situation just because
(43:47):
it's the quote unquote right thing to do. But be
not stay in a bad situation because you're scared of
the public scrutiny. You deserve the right to be happy,
be patient when it comes to waiting for the right situation,
but also be unafraid to get out of the wrong situation.
And then lest his story with Pedro Pascal and the
(44:09):
shirt again, it's to me it's somebody using their platform
for good, this conversation or this anti trans rhetoric, anti
LGBTQ rhetoric. It's it's disgusting, and I understand for some
people how it may be jarring for you. And I
(44:34):
don't even like that word. Sounds a bit harsh when
I'm talking about just people living their life. But let's
have a real conversation. I understand if you didn't grow
up around it. And this is in general, anything different
is going to be a bit jarring to you and
uncomfortable to you. I don't think that makes you a bigot.
(44:56):
It doesn't make you a bad person. What makes you
a bigot or a bad person is when you think
that your discomfort supersedes or should dictate how someone else
lives their life. And that is where a lot of
people fail, and a lot of people choose to fall
(45:21):
back into their ignorance. Not for nothing, there's a lot
of straight couples. I have no interest in seeing them
be affectionate with one another. Let's call what it is.
I don't want to see y'all kiss. So with that said,
just because I don't want to see it, does it
mean you don't have the right to kiss your loved
one in public? And I have the mindset of knowing
(45:43):
even though I don't want to see it. You still
have every right to do that. Right. It's supposed to
be a free country. It's supposed to be a world
of live your life. Man. As long as it's not,
you know, impeding on my ability to live my life,
you live your life. And that should be the same mindset.
If it's same sex couples or if it is a
(46:05):
trans person. Let them live their life. Your lack of
understanding of who they are and what they believe, or
them loving who they want to love, that's not their problem,
and it's unfair to make it their problem, and it's
(46:25):
disgusting to make it their problem and to then impede
on their ability to be happy and just live life authentically.
None of us should be living in the shadows in
twenty twenty five. None of us. Again, you don't have
to understand it, and quite frankly, you don't even have
(46:47):
depth it if you have some sort of religious feeling
behind it, but it's not for you to judge. If
you believe in God and you believe that God is
against that, let God handle that when it's time. This
is the other thing I don't get about religion. And listen,
I'm a religious person, but it's not up to me,
(47:11):
and it's not for me to judge others. That's God's job,
that's it. I can have my feelings about why certain
things might be wrong or that I think certain people
are living, you know, lifestyles that I don't agree with,
(47:32):
but it's not up to me to go there and
tell them not to live a certain life or to
you know, change the way that they're carrying about their
every day. No, listen, it's not for me. But you
do you and if it's truly wrong in God's eyes,
let him handle that. He's not asking me to do that.
(47:55):
He's not asking me to judge others on behalf of him.
He'll handle that if that's what you believe. So regardless,
if you know you are like religious and you're against it.
From that standpoint, let God do what God's gonna do.
You go on with the fucking rest of your day
and leave. Leave these people be, Leave people to live
(48:19):
life how they they want to live. Right, somebody's wearing
an outfit you don't like. Leave these people to dress
how they want to dress. When I say these people,
I mean people you're encountering any kind of people who
have any sexual preference and identify in any sort of way.
It's not up to you to impose your opinion on
(48:41):
anything on anyone else. You're entitled to your opinion, you're
not entitled to force it on anyone else or impede
on anybody else's ability to live their life. That's what
we often start wrapping our brain around. It's okay to
have different opinions, but it's not okay to not respect
(49:02):
other people's ability to live a high quality life and
life on their terms. And that's all I say about that.
Thank you'all so much for tuning in. I appreciate y'all.
Two and a half weeks left of life is gonna
go fucking wild. Thank you so much to have being
on this journey. Welcome to our new listeners. Keep checking
(49:27):
out the feed, stay subscribed, subscribe if you haven't yet,
because I'm excited for what's next, and there is something next.
That's all I can say. Thank you so much for
tuning in. Have an amazing weekend. I'll catch you on
Tuesday with a brand new episode, So then stay safe
(49:47):
and we'll talk soon. Life as a Good Goo is
a production of the Micro through That Podcast Network and iHeartRadio,
Alright, let me talk about Tom. Here we go. He said,
you live in Life as a Gringo, where you questioned
where you fit in Every time you mingle, they say
you do this with not of that. This life has
a gingo.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Yes, hello, and welcome to an episode of Life as
a Gringo. I am dramas, of course, and it's Thursday,
so it means time for our Thursday trends at pisode
and man kind of crazy. I was doing the math
today because I had a couple of meetings and a
couple of emails I was sending around before getting the trends. Yeah,
(00:43):
we have about two and a half weeks left of
Life as an Ingo. Two and a half weeks left crazy.
That's literally we have five episodes after this.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
One left, and then we put a fork in it
and this chapter ends. Now I can't give away details,
but I'm not gonna leave y'all hanging. Something else is coming,
That's all I could say for now. Something else is coming,
something I'm really excited about. I feel like the next
(01:20):
step of my career in media, the next iteration of
you know my brain and where I'm at, It's coming.
So stay tuned. Thank you, for the support. Thank you in
advance for the support. On the next chapter. With that said,
what are we talking about today? Today? We're talking about
Donald Trump chakra I note and him backing down on
(01:42):
these China tariffs. We're gonna talk about what's happening between
the presidents of al Salvador and Venezuela. Beefin Twitter, beefin.
We're gonna talk about marriage, as research has come out
against marriage and against it being a positive in today's society.
(02:05):
We'll talk about that, get your thoughts. And lastly, in
a positive note for me had the segment, we will
talk about Edro Bascal, who continues to just be an
incredible human being and in his own way taking a
stand and fighting for marginalized communities. So we will talk
about that first foremost, as we always do, Let's start
(02:26):
with the nonsense, the bs. In a segment, we call
for the people in the back, say a.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Lot for the people in the say a lot of
the people in the say a lot of the people of.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
All right, let's first and foremost start with Donald Trump
quickly when it comes to these tariffs. Now, Donald Trump
said during a White House news conference that high tariffs
on goods from China will quote come down substantially, but
it won't be zero. Donald Trump's remarks were in response
to earlier comments on Tuesday by Treasury Secretary Scott Bessant,
(03:09):
who said that the high terraffs were unsustainable and that
he expects a quote de escalation in the trade war
between the world's two largest economies, the US and China.
Trump had placed an import tax of one hundred and
forty five percent on China, which has countered with one
hundred and twenty five percent tariffs on US goods. Trump
(03:31):
has placed tariffs on several dozen countries, causing the stock
market to stumble and interest rates to increase on US
debt as investors worry about slower economic growth and higher
inflationary pressures. Now, a couple things here before I get
into the next tagline of this story, tell me you
(03:54):
don't know what you're doing. Without telling me you don't
know what you're doing. And this is his presidency in
a nutshell, and his followers, his supporters will find creative
ways to flip the script on this and spin it.
(04:15):
But the reality is this, He's stabbing in the dark.
He's all force, no tacked no strategy. He's basically just
playing a big game of fuck around and find out,
And unfortunately you and I are the people who end
(04:36):
up being affected by this the most. And again it's
further proof that there was never some grand idea. It
was just him having a pissing contest, essentially him not
knowing what the fuck he's doing, and continuously, time and
time again he does these crazy things, only to have
(04:58):
to backtrack on them when they inevitably blow up in
his face because once again he really has no idea
what he's doing. Now, three of the nation's top retail leaders,
Walmart's Doug McMillan, Targets Brian Cornell, and Home Deepot's Ted Decker,
met with Trump at the White House to present their
case against the administration's proposed tariff policies, advising that tariffs
(05:21):
will raise consumer prices and could potentially disrupt retail supply
chains and lead to product shortages. No shit, you don't
have to be an executive at a major retailer to
come to that conclusion. But of course it doesn't take
you and I complaining about this. It takes some rich
(05:43):
executives for big brands to wring the alarm and for
Trump to listen, because we live in a world, and
we live in a country, and we have a president
who really is only catering to one group of people.
He's playing the game and making you think that he
gives a shit about people. And he pretends and says
(06:04):
all these you know, these these beautiful, placating things, but
at the end of the day, he is only here
to serve the wealthy and only backtracks not when you
and I are having issues, but when the wealthy begin
to feel uncomfortable. And that's more of what we see here.
There's not really anything else to dig into it. It's
just another reminder of a his ineptitude and the ineptitude
(06:28):
of those around him. But b he's only listening to
and his only concern is making the rich happier. Moving on,
another story happening. You'll you'll remember that President bukel Or
(06:51):
from Ali savadors Trump's new best friend. He's the person
working with Trump taking in deportees into a prison in
El Salvador. Now he's offering Venezuelan President Maluo a unique proposal,
a prisoner swap. President Buquel is offering the Venezuelan deportees
(07:14):
set to All Salvador from the US in exchange for
quote political prisoners. The Venezuelan government and President Madudo spoke
out against this proposal, calling on the release of Venezuelans
detained in El Salvador. Speaking on national television, President Madudo
Venezuela spoke out against President Buguel of El Salvador. It's
(07:35):
funny I looked up the pronunciation that said, and I
can't remember, but spoke out of Madula from Venezuela spook
out against this proposal, criticizing the Salvadorian president and calling
for an immediate proof of life for those that are
currently detained. Additionally, he called for the Salvadoran government to
allow attorneys and families to access the prisoners sooner than later.
(07:56):
He added quote set them free unconditionally. Auditional release for
the youth detained in Al Salvador. President Maduda has voiced
his opinion on the Venezuelan's currently being held at Salvador
in prisons. He condemned the detention as kidnapping and forced
disappearance of hundreds of Venezuelan nationals sent to Al Salvador
from the US. Additionally, President Madudo of Venezuela has demanded
(08:20):
to know the whereabouts and well being of the Venezuelan nationals.
President Buge responded by offering the prisoner swap once again.
And the reason I bring up the story aside from
the disgusting way that people are being weaponized and used
as a political tactic now by not just the United
(08:42):
States of America, but here in El Salvador. For there
in El Salvador, should say, how is it that the
man that was wrongfully sent to Al Salvador, it's impossible
for them to release him to the custody of the
United States. Yet it's somehow, some way very easy, and
actually the idea of the president of El Salvador to
(09:04):
swap prisoners for other prisoners in Venezuela. Now, I may
not be an expert of foreign affairs and immigration laws
and all these different things, but it seems like if
you're able to release one group of people from your prison,
you probably can release one person from your prison to
(09:27):
get them on their way home, especially when they're legal
citizen of the United States and the Supreme Court has
ruled that they need to be brought back home. So
this is all bullshit. And the irony of this what's
also discussing in that story. And I apologize for watching
the video of this and I'm rubbing my eyes algae season.
(09:49):
That's what all I have to say. But the disgusting
part about this is what happens when Donald Trump and
Fox News and all these followers of MAGA, what they
do to sort of erase their own fuck up. And
(10:11):
they're the worst kinds of people because they acknowledge the
fuck up. The Supreme Court is ruled they fucked up,
and they need to return this man back to his
family in Maryland. But what are they doing. They're smearing
his name in the public and in the press. They're
finding ways to try and not only call him, but
connect him to the MS thirteen gang when there's been
(10:33):
no credible evidence shown. So rather than doing what they're
supposed to do, their idea of cleaning up their mess
is beyond victim blaming, but smearing the name of an
innocent man just to make themselves look better in the
(10:55):
court of public opinion. That's it's absolutely disgusting. Again, I
he I brought this in the past. This is why
I have a problem with Alex Rodriguez. The baseball player.
He got caught with steroids, and rather than fasting up
to it, the tech that took his test, he accused
that tech of tampering with the test, and that tech
(11:16):
ended up losing their job, only for it to come
out later on, and only for Alex Rodriguez to admit
later on that yes, he was on steroids. That's you're
a disgusting individual when you allow your mistakes and you
don't take responsibility for them. I should say, you don't
take responsibility for your mistakes, and even worse, you then
(11:38):
crash and burn the lives of innocent people just to
make yourself look better. It's disgusting and that's what we're seeing.
And again I brought up the story because how is
it you're able to swap one person to the other country,
but all of a sudden it's impossible to do what
the courts are ordering you to do. And getting this
man back to his family in Maryland, who is rightfully
(12:01):
in the United States of America, just disgusting. But again,
in the world we live in. With that said, we
will take a quick break here and then when we
come back, we'll talk about marriage. All right, we are
back and let's talk about marriage specifically. This article is
(12:21):
written from the perspective of women from Army Too, and
they ask is marriage still a good deal for women?
There's a lot of topic of conversation, I guess on
TikTok happening, and there's a lot of research going into
this conversation. Now, the article they talk about how, according
to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics American Time Use Survey.
(12:44):
That's a mouthful, employed women will work a full day
around seven hours and twenty minutes, while also doing more
child care and household chores than men. This includes cooking, leaning,
and parenting. Men on average do less of all three.
(13:05):
As women's work hours increase, their sleep and leisure time
have decreased. The pressure is so intense that even rest
is a luxury. Yet many women still feel like marriage
is a requirement, not a choice. Now I'll pause here
for a second. Absolutely, and I don't mean absolutely like
(13:28):
this is a good thing. I mean I get it.
I lived this my parents, and not that I don't
think my mom, you know, no shame to anybody who does,
but my mom is just not that personality. But my
mom worked full time, my dad worked full time, and
my mom commuted to the Bronx every day from New Jersey.
(13:51):
It was a teacher dealing with kids all day long,
and she was still expected to maintain the house, to
and to do the bulk of the work when it
came to parenting the children. Not to say that my
dad wasn't there, but if we're comparing, he had the
(14:15):
easier role of the two of them, and that was
the norm, and nobody even thought twice about like, hey,
I wonder what mom's going through, right, And that's how
I grew up and that's what I saw as normal.
Now I'm blessed and that I feel like I've had
enough life experience where I can recognize, wow, that is
(14:37):
not okay. And I'm not married, of speaking from a
single perspective, I don't even kids either, but yeah, that
doesn't sound like a deal that I would want to
get into if I was a woman, and we've normalized
that wrongly. I think as a result, you're seeing a
(15:02):
lot of women burnt out from their relationship more so
than men, or b reflecting on if they really want
to get married or not. Now, the article goes on
and saying it's a longer article as I was doing you.
I'll have the link in the show notes if you
really want to dive into it. But they say, despite
lingering stigma, divorce is increasingly being reframed as a liberating decision.
(15:25):
According to a study from Kingston University in London, women
are significantly happier for up to five years post divorce.
Why freedom autonomy a shot at career growth and personal fulfillment.
They say that sixty nine percent of divorces are initiated
(15:49):
by women. Many people say they feel lonelier in marriage
than they ever did when they were single. This is
heavy shit and it speaks to a lot of different things, right,
And I found this sort of article just I think
a fascinating topic of conversation. But I think that sort
(16:12):
of stuck out to me, the idea that many people
feel lonelier in marriage than they ever did when they
were single. And I have so many thoughts that there's
so many angles you can kind of take with this.
I think, what's immediately going through my head as I
think about this A I think a lot of people,
(16:33):
particularly of my generation, got married way too young or
without enough life experience. I think that's one of the
issues I'm at the age now where a lot of
my friends, not a lot, but a good chunk of
(16:56):
friends that got married are now going through a divorce
or are already divorced, and it's just, you know, I
think it's an interesting conversation around the idea. And they
(17:21):
said this in the article that marriage is a requirement, right,
A lot of people, as with anything in life, trying
to do the quote unquote right thing and check a
particular box and maybe not knowing what their boxes are, right, like,
(17:43):
what their thing is that they are looking for in
a partner, or maybe not even having developed enough to
know what real partnership is. And obviously there are some
people who are blessed that they've been able to develop
together marriage and that they're both on the same page
of understanding their flaws and shortcomings and wanting to get
(18:06):
better and be better partners for one another. Right, that's
the goal of the dream. But there are probably a
lot of people, and obviously with these divorce rates, a
lot of people who a don't want to do the
work or are unaware that there's a problem in general,
that they have a really skewed view of what it
means to be in a relationship and don't know what
(18:28):
it means to truly be in partnership, or maybe don't
even know themselves enough to know what they really want
from said relationship. And you know, I am I'll still
claim mid thirties at this point. I'm on the cusp
mid to late thirties. Y'all right, I'm gonna hold out
(18:51):
to mid thirties for a second, give me one more year.
But I do feel the pressure, right I get it
from family and in general when I think about wanting
to start a family, the idea of being the old parent,
and I feel that pressure. But also I've gotten to
(19:15):
know myself and done so much work and not rushed
into things for the sake of checking boxes. And of
course I have at times, but I've never you know,
pulled that trigger that I have far more clarity on
what I want and far more clarity on what I
don't want. And I could see what I don't want
(19:37):
coming a mile away, and even like like single me
and I don't know why this is, this is not
you know, there's like my deposition play this for my
family to explain why why their son is still single,
but or why my niece said nephew, don't have cousins
to play with on my end. But even now, like
(20:01):
single me is different than single me whatever it was
six years ago. I'm not even entertaining people casually that
I don't feel like I could hold the conversation with right,
even if you're attractive. I'm so weary of like, yeah,
(20:21):
but what happens after the sex. I don't want to
have to have an awkward car ride home or an
awkward morning, or I just don't want somebody I don't
really fuck with on a personal level being in my
home right that supersedes the physical, you know, pleasure of sex.
(20:48):
And that's where I'm at. And I think when you
are clear on what you want, clear and what you
don't want, it's you're not going to be entertaining everything,
and rightfully so you shouldn't be. But also that means
you're gonna have a hard time finding that other person
just because you're fine tuning what you're looking for, right,
(21:10):
So the results are getting few and fewer, And I
don't think that's a bad thing. It's just a part
of the process of truly, I think finding what you're
looking for in a soulmate and a long term partner.
Now that I think that's one aspect of it is
people got into relationships young, weren't clear on what they
(21:31):
wanted what they didn't want, and now they're far more
clear as they've gotten older, and far less tolerant of
things that don't align with that. I think also, as
I as I mentioned, a lot of us just don't
know or don't didn't grow up seeing examples of what
it meant to be truly in partnership right. A lot
(21:56):
of especially I think in the Latin community, a lot
of the old school dialogue of traditional gender roles of
the wife maintains the house and mostly parents the kids.
And as economic turns have happened and things are far
(22:17):
more expensive, most families have no choice but to have
two working you know parents, And rightfully so many women
want to be able to explore their interests as far
as career goes. But we haven't sort of adjusted. But
what does that mean then, in the traditional sense of
(22:41):
the gender role in the household, that has to be
adjusted as well, because it's not fair to say, okay,
yeah you can go and experience your own life, or yeah,
we need you to work because we need extra money.
But don't forget, I still expect you to do the
traditional role as well. So not only are you doing
sort of my traditional role, on top of that you're
doing you're doing your role. You're doing two roles at
the same time, essentially, And it's unfair. And I can
(23:04):
see why women are at a higher rate initiating divorce
than men. We have it easy, and I think that's
probably part of the problem as well, is there's not
real conversations around or or as men not having real
conversations of how do we be better partners and not
(23:27):
place these unrealistic expectations on our wives essentially, right, And
I think there's a lot again to unlearn. Again. I
grew up in that and I didn't see anything wrong
with it, right, I didn't. I didn't. It never phased
me that maybe my mom was burnt out right, And
(23:49):
I say that as like, well into adulthood, it didn't
stop and phase me, like what like I'm talk about
just like a few years ago, I for what reason,
I started like really having far more appreciation for all
that my mom has done and continues to do and
(24:12):
recognize and think, wow, we placed a lot on her
fucking shoulders. And continue to do so. And she never
asked for anything in return, or never asked for much,
or I don't think she's even aware of how unfair
it is, that extra burden, And I think that's something
(24:33):
we need to you know, I think the I think
I think we're getting better. I think we're trending in
the right direction. But I think that is you know,
these are all contributing factors to why we're probably seeing
these staggering divorce rates, because again, in a good way,
(24:53):
as you remove the stigma of divorce, you now allow
people to say, Hey, I'm not going to waste my
life with someone who refuses to get on the same
page as me just because I don't want to be
torn apart in the court of public opinion, Like fuck that.
(25:17):
I'm going to make the most of this thing called
life because it's short and it's like as much as
it like, it's weirdly like jumps out at you when
they say that divorce is being reframed as a liberating decision,
(25:38):
I get it. Why stay in a situation that no
longer serves you? And I think I guess my hope.
My hope would be a couple of things to make
this have a point, I guess I would hope that
the younger generation understands they have time and try to
(26:00):
get to know themselves before jumping into a serious relationship,
and understands what they really want, what they need, and
what they don't want, and doesn't fall victim to the
trap of trying to meet societal expectations, but instead is
prioritizing what truly makes them happy. And for people of
(26:25):
my generation and older, not taking for granted the gravity
of the decision you're making when it comes to breaking
off a long term relationship or divorce. You know, not
sort of doing that on impulse, but if you truly feel,
after some time and some thought, that it's the right
(26:47):
decision for you, there's no reason to have shame around
reclaiming your life and and moving forward you've come to
realize what it is that you truly want. You know,
this life is incredibly short, and while I don't think
(27:10):
the decision again should be taken lightly, it should be
taken as a heavy one because it is, and taken
with lots of consideration and forethought. If it is the
right decision for you, you deserve to be happy. And
I think we all need to unlearn a lot of
(27:34):
the bullshit from previous generations and think to ourselves about
how we can truly show up and look at this
as more than just the thing you're supposed to do.
But how do we create actual partnership? How do I
be good for this other person and have no shame
(27:57):
in saying, Hey, maybe it's gonna take me longer to
find somebody who I truly want to be with, but
I'm not going to settle because I'm okay alone as well.
There's nothing wrong being alone. There's nothing wrong with not
having kids. I think about this all the time. As well.
As much as I've sort of always been like, oh,
I'm definitely having kids, there's a part of me that says, hey,
(28:17):
I'm kind of open to maybe that if it's not
in the cards, it's not the cards. I feel like
I really want to give it some more thought, to
be quite honest with you, rather than just saying it's
what I'm supposed to do now. I definitely know I
want to get married and have a good woman by
my side and have a true partnership. But do I
know for a fact that I want to have kids.
(28:39):
I don't know anymore. And that's a recent revelation. And
I'm not guilty myself because I know it's what I'm
supposed to do, is have kids, and you know, my
my parents happy and give them more, you know, more
grand babies than they have. But I have to think
about what type of life do I want. I kind
of like freedom that I have to have experiences that
(29:02):
I want, sort of when I want. As selfish as
that might sound, I get a lot of enjoyment out
of the lifestyle that I live right now. And it's
not a lifestyle of like random hookups, getting fucked up
all the time or whatever it is, but just the
simple freedoms of not having a ton to worry about
(29:23):
if I feel like going to travel, if I'm thinking
about spending half my time in Puerto Rico. Right, I
have a dog who I love so much. But as
small of a burden as that seems, and I hate
to call a burden, but there's responsibility there. I'm not
able to just move the same way as I would
(29:46):
have if I didn't have him, and I feel like,
you know, he's been a great teacher in that so yeah,
I don't know. Again, you have to do what's best
for you, and I guess a lot of people are
doing that. And while maybe for traditional standards or you know,
lovers of love, if you will, it might be sad
(30:07):
to see people getting divorces or doing these things. Again,
I always subscribe to doing what's best for you and
getting clear on what actually makes you happy and moving accordingly.
And also I think articles like this one statistics it
should make us look in the mirror and say, hey,
what bullshit am I carrying around? That? If I am
in a relationship or am in a marriage, that what
(30:30):
am I carrying around or doing? Or how am I
not showing up in a way that's fair? Or am
i am I truly making my partner feel seen right
in our relationship and fulfilling their needs as well, not
just thinking about my own. I think as men, we're
(30:51):
so used to we've been ingrained in sort of having
the women in our lives be at our back and
call that we don't even think twice about, like, but
what do they feel? Like? What do they actually want?
We just assume that that's what they want to do,
and maybe sometimes they do, but I could almost guarantee
that there are plenty of times where they wish or
have wished that someone would do that for them because
(31:14):
they truly do deserve it. And again, that's what equal
partnership is about. So I don't know, just an interesting
food for thought to break up. Also, like just the
fucking I don't know political toxicity of the world that
we live in. With that said, let's talk about some
positivity in Army hit this segment. But first we'll take
a quick break and then we'll be right back. All right,
(31:48):
So I guess a quick little story here or a
quick article that I found and I saw it floating
around on social media and I just had to applaud
this man, benro Bascal. He had a a shirt that
was speaking in favor of trans writes and he was
wearing it at the UK premiere of the movie Thunderbolts.
(32:10):
And this is a simple way of standing up and
a simple way of making a declaration, but I think
an effective one. And again, when I always harp on
anybody with a platform, I think you do have a responsibility.
(32:32):
And these are the things I talk I mean when
I say that it doesn't always have to be the
most grandiose thing. It could also be just making a
statement in a subtle way, because when you have the platform,
it's going to reach a lot of people. Now, he's
known for championing LGBTQ plus rights, but he stepped on
(32:54):
the red carpet wearing a white tea that simply said
protect the Dolls, which is a direct and defiant show
of support for trans women a mid rising global backlash
and the shirt was designed by Connor I Think It's Ives,
who debuted it during London Fashion Week in February. The
(33:17):
design was a reaction to the mounting anti trans rhetoric scene,
both in the US and abroad. Dall is a termative
eendearment rooted in LGBTQ plus and ballroom culture, specifically referring
to trans women and ives. Wasn't the only one making
their shirt go viral. Troy Savon picked it up and
wore during Charlie XCX's Coachella set. Tom Ford's creative director
(33:40):
Hayter Akerman posted a self it wearing it. Proceeds from
the t go to the shirt, I should say, go
to the trans Lifeline, a nonprofit that provides peer support
for trans people in crisis, and even that right, He's
gonna wear the shirt A ton of people are gonna
see it and go out to buy it, and it
raises money for it. This incredible nonprofit that is advocating
(34:03):
for trans people, and this is again having a platform
and doing it right. It's very simple. These are the
types of things that, in my book, get you major
points that you don't have to get into debates, You
don't have to always, you know, be out there and
(34:25):
picketing or whatever it might be. Everybody has a role
that they can play and that they're able to play.
It's something as simple as this is moving and it
moves the needle, especially as a Latin man, to come
out and have that support that continue to support. I
should say, it's a beautiful thing. There's so much stigma
(34:47):
and to their point, there's so much anti trans rhetoric,
particularly in our political environment, and these are just people
who are trying to live life in in the best
way that they see fit for them. And they're not
doing anything that imposes on your way of living, your
(35:10):
quality of life. And that's the fucked up part about
all of the anti LGBTQ plus backlash that we see,
all the anti immigrant backlash, Like these are people just
trying to live their life. They're not hurting you, they're
not doing anything to directly affect your quality of life.
Yet you are targeting them, be it the rhetoric, be
(35:36):
a your actions and impeding on their ability to live
a happy life. That's the difference. They're not doing that
to you, You're doing it to them. You're seeking them out.
And it's crazy that in twenty twenty five, we still
have people with so much hate in their heart. And
(35:57):
I'm a bit spoiled because I've grown up in the
New York City area. I had family members who were gay,
my uncle, my parents, you know, to their credit, were
very progressive for their time period. I was in. I
(36:21):
was in my uncle's wedding as the as a little kid,
I think I was the was the ring bear right
and for a gay wedding, And then growing up in
the New York City area, and then as I'm older,
being asked to be a part of events like Pride
in New York City and dj and in Jersey City.
(36:42):
One of my residencies is at a gay club at
a at a you know, lgbt Q plus club, and
a lot of friends I've made there are are gay
and summer trans You know, and it's just crazy that
(37:13):
people can look past the fact that these are people
just like you and I and they're not asking for
some special treatment. They're just asking for you not to
condemn them and not to impede on their ability to
live a quality life. And there are so many stories
(37:40):
that break my heart about what they had to go
through just to be able to walk in their authenticity.
And I think that's probably what touches me the most
is as you all know, you know, authenticity is really
at the center of so much of what I do,
and my inability to walk authentically is such a big
part of my story. And I think that's why I
relate and have such a soft spot spot outside of
(38:02):
the human element, but I relate on a deeper level
is because of that. And last thing I'll mention this,
I've been seeing clips go around Pete Wood, judge mayor
p He ran for president in for the twenty twenty
election and then he worked under Biden and he's one
(38:25):
of the more prominent Democrats. But he was on Andrew
Schultz's podcast, and yeah, I know there's a lot of
where Andrew Schultz has gone. There's a lot of opinions
on that. That's a different conversation. But anyway, Pete Bota
Judge is a veteran. He did, I believe, two tours
of duty in Iraq. He actually had. He got deployed
while he was the mayor in Indiana, and he talks about,
(38:49):
if I'm not mistaken about the timeline, when he was deployed,
he hadn't come out as gay yet, and if I'm
not mistaken, when you get deployed, the army has you
write a letter essentially, just in case you don't get
to return home. It's you writing a letter to your
family essentially, And he hadn't come out as gay yet.
(39:14):
And I believe he talks about in the letter he
admits that he's gay, right, and it's this letter that
won't be said to anybody unless something happens to him.
But essentially, as him speaking is truth for the first time.
And he talks about how here he was an adult male.
(39:41):
I believe at this point he's twenty nine or thirty
and he has yet to experience love because he hasn't
come out. And he told himself that if and when
I get back home, I'm not going to hide anymore.
I want to experience love. I want to have a
(40:03):
family and do all the things that all of us
I think strive for. And I just find that to
be so heartbreaking in so many different ways. And obviously
it's a few years back at this point, but still
current enough that it's wow that that was even a thing.
(40:26):
But these are people who are holding back and not
able to live their lives as themselves because of all
the bullshit and narratives that we create and that we
give into, and the hate that exists. And that's not okay.
(40:52):
It's incredibly sad. And you know, that's why it's important
to speak up for any marginalized community. Nobody should have
to live in the shadows or live in fear. Everybody
deserves the right to a happy and high quality life.
(41:17):
But that said, let's uh tie everything we talked about
today in a neat little bow in a segment we
call conclusions to time for contan soon. All right, quickly
summarizing all we talked about. Trump obviously doesn't know what the
fuck he's doing. He's now backing down on the crazy
(41:39):
terror freight that he had with China. Shocker, more Trump
being Trump, he does something crazy. He realizes he has
no idea he's doing. It blows up his face and
he has to backtrack. They put some sort of stupid
spin around spin on it. They will frame this as
a win somehow, even though it's not. And this is
you know, unfortunately the psych or were trapped into for
(42:01):
the next four years, presidents of El Salvador and Venezuela
going at it having Twitter fingers. Essentially. I bring up
to this article again because the president of L Salvador
who said it's impossible for him to return even though
there's a Supreme Court order on this, it's impossible for
(42:21):
to return the man who is wrongly deported from Maryland.
He can't get him back to the US. It's just
impossible somehow, someway. It's also it's possible, though, for him
to send prisoners from those same prisons to Venezuela, another country.
Make it makes sense. The conversation around marriage and think
day you have to do what is what is best
(42:44):
for you, and I think again it's a two prong conversation.
A we have to all learn how to be better partners.
And I think more than anything, men unlearning some of
the toxic masculinity or the traditional gender roles and not
saying we lose those I think there's positives to it,
(43:05):
but adjusting the you know what those roles literally are
with the understanding that we live in a world where
for many of us, our wives or our partners are
also going to be working career wise just as hard
as us, if not harder, and we need to pick
(43:26):
up some of the shit that they have to deal with,
right and we need to do more than we've traditionally
been asked for as a result because they're doing more.
On the flip side of it, you have to be
unafraid to do what really makes you happy and not
allow yourself to a jump into a situation just because
(43:47):
it's the quote unquote right thing to do. But be
not stay in a bad situation because you're scared of
the public scrutiny. You deserve the right to be happy,
be patient when it comes to waiting for the right situation,
but also be unafraid to get out of the wrong situation.
And then lest his story with Pedro Pascal and the
(44:09):
shirt again, it's to me it's somebody using their platform
for good, this conversation or this anti trans rhetoric, anti
LGBTQ rhetoric. It's it's disgusting, and I understand for some
people how it may be jarring for you. And I
(44:34):
don't even like that word. Sounds a bit harsh when
I'm talking about just people living their life. But let's
have a real conversation. I understand if you didn't grow
up around it. And this is in general, anything different
is going to be a bit jarring to you and
uncomfortable to you. I don't think that makes you a bigot.
(44:56):
It doesn't make you a bad person. What makes you
a bigot or a bad person is when you think
that your discomfort supersedes or should dictate how someone else
lives their life. And that is where a lot of
people fail, and a lot of people choose to fall
(45:21):
back into their ignorance. Not for nothing, there's a lot
of straight couples. I have no interest in seeing them
be affectionate with one another. Let's call what it is.
I don't want to see y'all kiss. So with that said,
just because I don't want to see it, does it
mean you don't have the right to kiss your loved
one in public? And I have the mindset of knowing
(45:43):
even though I don't want to see it. You still
have every right to do that. Right. It's supposed to
be a free country. It's supposed to be a world
of live your life. Man. As long as it's not,
you know, impeding on my ability to live my life,
you live your life. And that should be the same mindset.
If it's same sex couples or if it is a
(46:05):
trans person. Let them live their life. Your lack of
understanding of who they are and what they believe, or
them loving who they want to love, that's not their problem,
and it's unfair to make it their problem, and it's
(46:25):
disgusting to make it their problem and to then impede
on their ability to be happy and just live life authentically.
None of us should be living in the shadows in
twenty twenty five. None of us. Again, you don't have
to understand it, and quite frankly, you don't even have
(46:47):
depth it if you have some sort of religious feeling
behind it, but it's not for you to judge. If
you believe in God and you believe that God is
against that, let God handle that when it's time. This
is the other thing I don't get about religion. And listen,
I'm a religious person, but it's not up to me,
(47:11):
and it's not for me to judge others. That's God's job,
that's it. I can have my feelings about why certain
things might be wrong or that I think certain people
are living, you know, lifestyles that I don't agree with,
(47:32):
but it's not up to me to go there and
tell them not to live a certain life or to
you know, change the way that they're carrying about their
every day. No, listen, it's not for me. But you
do you and if it's truly wrong in God's eyes,
let him handle that. He's not asking me to do that.
(47:55):
He's not asking me to judge others on behalf of him.
He'll handle that if that's what you believe. So regardless,
if you know you are like religious and you're against it.
From that standpoint, let God do what God's gonna do.
You go on with the fucking rest of your day
and leave. Leave these people be, Leave people to live
(48:19):
life how they they want to live. Right, somebody's wearing
an outfit you don't like. Leave these people to dress
how they want to dress. When I say these people,
I mean people you're encountering any kind of people who
have any sexual preference and identify in any sort of way.
It's not up to you to impose your opinion on
(48:41):
anything on anyone else. You're entitled to your opinion, you're
not entitled to force it on anyone else or impede
on anybody else's ability to live their life. That's what
we often start wrapping our brain around. It's okay to
have different opinions, but it's not okay to not respect
(49:02):
other people's ability to live a high quality life and
life on their terms. And that's all I say about that.
Thank you'all so much for tuning in. I appreciate y'all.
Two and a half weeks left of life is gonna
go fucking wild. Thank you so much to have being
on this journey. Welcome to our new listeners. Keep checking
(49:27):
out the feed, stay subscribed, subscribe if you haven't yet,
because I'm excited for what's next, and there is something next.
That's all I can say. Thank you so much for
tuning in. Have an amazing weekend. I'll catch you on
Tuesday with a brand new episode, So then stay safe
(49:47):
and we'll talk soon. Life as a Good Goo is
a production of the Micro through That Podcast Network and iHeartRadio,
Host
DJ Dramos
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