I Hate Loud with Sam Morril

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, Chelsea, Hi, what is this Will Smith's story that
everyone was talking about.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (00:06):
He did a bunch of shows and there was legitimately
a big crowd there, but for.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Some reason, his team like put a bunch.

Speaker 3 (00:13):
Of ai extra faces to make the crowd like look
even bigger. And everyone's like call it, like, why would
you do that?

Speaker 2 (00:20):
This is a Donald Trump move. It's so stupid and
also it's so badly done. Like have you seen the pictures? Yes,
my friends send it to me.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
I said, from West Philly to West Swizzy, we love you, Willie.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
The thing is, why would they do that? Because the
crowd sizes are big. It's just like when you see
the real photos. There's obviously isles where people can get
like people know isles exist where there's no people.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
So he's on Will Smith, I.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Guess so I blame this on scientology. I blame everything
that's going wrong on scientology.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
I agree with you.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Either that or the Trumps, one of them I'm blame.
So choose your poisons, you know what.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
I think that must be? Why why Burning Man blew away?
Because like Ivanka Trump was there, Yeah, oh.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
My friend, we were all going to my friend's house
in the Hamptons last weekend when I was doing shows
there and she was going to Burning Man, and so
I saw one of those videos on Instagram and forwards,
I'm like, is this you? I had seldom heard back
from her. I don't even know if she's a lie.
What happened to Burning Man?

Speaker 3 (01:22):
I think they just had like this huge I know
there was a dust storm there.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
There's like a big windstorm. There was a dust storm
in Arizona and Phoenix. Did you see this? I end
of God, I see that. I did see that, very ominous.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
But the Burning Man was like, so Berniinge Man just
got fucking I think it got real.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:38):
I know the orgy tent that they had spent a
week setting up, that's been there for twenty years?

Speaker 4 (01:42):
Is that?

Speaker 5 (01:42):
Is that right?

Speaker 2 (01:42):
They have an orgy tent or any other thing I'd
find disgusting orgy the same orgy tent for twenty years.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
I remember watching a porn when I was a little
girl and there was a big orgy and I was like, oh,
I was like, do people really do this?

Speaker 2 (01:54):
And the answer is.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
No, they don't only have burning only in very specific circles.
Do you have friends that do burning I do have,
like I think I have like one or two people.
I once went on a date with a guy in
New York. My friend Sophie set me up with this guy,
and the minute we sat down, he started going on
about Burning Man and I said, listen. The second time
he said it, I go listen. I'm not a Burning
Man person. I don't find that interesting at all. I

(02:16):
think it's a bunch of rich people trying to share
for the very first time. And I don't want to
do LSD on I don't want to do LSD and
get sand blasted like that is not my idea of
a good time. And then he kept going on and
on about it, and then I did get it.

Speaker 4 (02:30):
Woe up.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
We were having dinner in the hotel restaurant of the
hotel I was in. My friend showed up, and when
she got there, I go, he's your problem now, And
I went upstairs to my room and I took a xanax.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
Excellent.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
See that's the place to be doing drugs, not in
the desert.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Yeah exactly, Well, yeah, Xanax's.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
That's what they say. How do you know someone's been
to Burning Man? They won't shut up about it.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
Yeah, it's really annoying when people it's like pickleball. That's
the thing that people are like obsessed with, trying to
convert you into pickleball, to be an obsessed about pickleball.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
And burning man.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
Yes, yes, I put up new Vegas dates by the
way for next year. This year, I will be there
November first and November twenty ninth. Those are my last
two dates this year. Then I start up again January
thirty first, March seventh, April eighteenth, and May thirtieth, and
tickets are now on sale for all of those dates.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Our guest today will be at the Chicago Theater and
all across Europe in October, as well as playing Carnegie
Hall in December on the Errors Tour.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
Please welcome Sam Moral.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
Welcome Sam Morrell. I'm saying it doesn't matter.

Speaker 4 (03:31):
Oh no, it does matter, but I feel I don't like.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Correct So for morell, where are you getting the E from?

Speaker 4 (03:38):
My dad said, and I just rolled with it.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
I don't know he's wrong. Listen, you have a lot
of introductions here.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
I was reading your shit last night and you're okay,
there's a lot going on with you. First of all,
you just came out with your six stand up special
since twenty twenty.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
How is that possible?

Speaker 4 (03:52):
No, No, not that many.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
But you have six though, right, I think so?

Speaker 4 (03:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (03:57):
And in what frame of time?

Speaker 4 (04:00):
There was a period where I was doing way too
many because I was just like I had no life.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
So because of COVID.

Speaker 4 (04:05):
COVID, I did a rooftop one because I was losing
my mind here and I just started going to people's
roofs and doing stand up and that turned into a special.
But uh, that wasn't like my best stuff. I wasn't
like honing that in clubs and stuff that I have,
Like you know, I did one Amazon, the one Netflix.
I did a Comedy Central hour, I did a YouTube hour,
I did the roof thing, and I did like a
half hour, so five and a half.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
Okay, Well that sounds more reasonable when you say it
like that. The way it's presented, it's like you're about
to win an Academy Award first stand up comedy, which
I think is pretty impossible.

Speaker 4 (04:34):
Oh no, we're not respected.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
No, comedians are not respected.

Speaker 4 (04:38):
That's good. If we were respected, we'd be boring.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Well, the reason we're funny is because we're not respected. Exactly,
and there's no way to gain respect as a comedian really.

Speaker 4 (04:46):
Yeah, I mean.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
There's comedians that are well respected, but only in circles
outside of comedy, right, Like within comedy, you don't really
nobody really.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Respects each other.

Speaker 4 (04:55):
It's true, yeah, because we see through it. It's a ruse.
But then you see like a singer, you're like, holy shit,
that's incredible. Yeah, and then they probably looked that way
at us, like even popping like a musician open mic
when you start and like this guy's awesome, but then
take the same jokes to a comic open mic and
like you fucking you suck.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
Or I'll go see someone who's like a musician perform
and be fucking blown away, and they'll perform at the
Greek or something, and then they'll come see me performing,
like I can't believe you can do that.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
I'm like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 4 (05:23):
I can't believe you can go on drunk? What are
you talking about? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (05:26):
I know, I know. Well musicians can too, that's their thing.

Speaker 4 (05:28):
They can. Yeah, I guess they can do like Heroin too.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
I mean they I mean I saw they'd.

Speaker 4 (05:32):
Do it was way more impressive.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
Well, and it's also more exhausting because they're up there
for like two and a half three hours.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Like I was at Glastonbury recently and we saw.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
Lanas Marsett and she drank She went through like these
jugs of like I guess it was like green tea
or something. She she went through like six or seven
of them, and it was less than an hour set.
I've never seen any guy drink any beverages on stage
other than red wine or alcohol like a musician. Wise, Like,
I couldn't believe how well she was hydrating. I was like, Wow,
you must be into crystals and stuff if you're hydrating this.

Speaker 4 (06:01):
Green tea is like, that's weird.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Well, she's kind of on it.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
She's ethereal, she's on another you know, she's like on
another frequency.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
She's one of those people. She probably meditates a lot.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
She's vibrating at a higher level than regular people, certainly
higher than comedians.

Speaker 4 (06:15):
Definitely. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah. Do you do drugs and drink?

Speaker 4 (06:17):
I drink.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
You don't do drugs.

Speaker 4 (06:20):
I'm scared of drugs. I don't like not knowing what's
in my blood stream.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
Or what's in your future.

Speaker 4 (06:25):
Yeah. Yeah, I can maintain a level of control. I
like drugs that push your feelings down away.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Yeah, you're a man, So is it hard for you
to be a stand up comic surrounded by so many
female comedians?

Speaker 4 (06:39):
No, I love female comedians.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
That was a joke.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
I just always wanted to ask a man and what
it feels like to be surrounded by women, since that's
the only question we ever get to, that only question
that ask you. Guys ask us all the time what's
it like to be in an industry that's so male dominated?
And I'm like, can you fucking think of a more
interesting question. I've been doing this for like twenty five years. Well,
the other, more more boring question is when you're promoting

(07:01):
a tour or you're promoting a special and people ask
you what can we expect? I fucking hate that question.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
It's hard to describe your own act.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
Well, also without doing bits, like I don't want to
be on the phone doing bits.

Speaker 4 (07:14):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (07:15):
If I'm talking to a reporter or a journalist, I mean,
a journalist is.

Speaker 4 (07:19):
A you know, you're getting better interviews than me. I
think I'm talking to a journalist.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
I'm talking to some guy from like, like, what do
you fucking you could expect to laugh and you could
expect comedy.

Speaker 4 (07:29):
Yeah, I can't. What can you expect? I mean, you know,
I come out in the third act. I don't know nothing, nothing,
yeah jokes.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
So we were just talking because you've dated, You've dated
a lot of female comedians, only two Yeah, Megan Gaily, Right,
you did it?

Speaker 2 (07:44):
You just had sex with her?

Speaker 4 (07:46):
Sure?

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Okay, Well I feel I feel like you dated her.
I don't know why. Who.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
Okay, you dated Taylor Tomlinson for a few years, because
I know that because when I had her on my podcast,
she was quarantining with you. Yeah, and you guys were
together for a few years, right.

Speaker 4 (08:01):
Probably two years. It's hard to measure because of what
we broke up so many times?

Speaker 2 (08:05):
Really, yeah, what was the problem?

Speaker 4 (08:08):
Probably both of us? I don't know.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
It must be hard to date a comic. I don't
think I've ever dated. Oh yeah, what am I talking about?

Speaker 4 (08:13):
Yeah? No, I'm aware of that. I just forgot.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
I forgot.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
Yeah. I think the problem is it's funny when people
were like, what went wrong?

Speaker 5 (08:19):
Is?

Speaker 4 (08:19):
I don't know us together? That's it. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
Do you attribute part of the relationship working out for
a duration of time because you were it was during
COVID and.

Speaker 4 (08:26):
You are two weeks were great. But no, no, it
was like a sleepover that just went on too.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
Lot on and went on and went on.

Speaker 4 (08:32):
But we know, we had great times. I think, you know,
I look back at some of them and I was like, man,
we're like watching movies and we started a movie podcast.
It was fun as hell.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
We were just that's right.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
Yeah, it was great. We had a good time.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
That's cute.

Speaker 4 (08:44):
Yeah, it's fun and fun to you know, you share
a movie and then you talk about it.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
I'm trying to think if I dated any other comics.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
It's just such a weird thing because I find it
like actors and actresses, I find it.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Normal for them to date. Are you drinking Ginger ale?

Speaker 4 (08:57):
It's so Celtic.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
I fucking loved Canada Dry ginger. Oh my god, I know,
I know. I once called Canada Dry. I'm like, I
want to do a commercial for you guys. I'm so
obsessed with Yeah. But then they were like, can you
do one for Sprite because they're all owned by the
same person, and they were like, Canada or nobody drinks that.
I'm like, they're like alonly people who drink that are
from New Jersey or New York. It's a very East
coast thing. Canada tried, like they don't sell it on

(09:19):
the West Coast as it's not as available.

Speaker 4 (09:21):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
I know me too.

Speaker 4 (09:22):
It's like when you land in Detroit and you're like,
I need I need some Werners. So you you only
dated one comic. It's weird to me because it's you know,
you're an attractive lady. You're you're a funny lady. I'm
sure dudes were hitting on you quite a bit.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
No, men are scared of me. I can see that
men are not interested in trying to get like shot
down by me. I mean even Joe Coy when we dated,
it wasn't even like I had to decide that I
was going to date him.

Speaker 2 (09:45):
He would never ever have made it.

Speaker 4 (09:47):
You made the move.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
I think so because we were friends for so many years,
and then when we got back to like we were
hanging out as friends and he just kept coming around
and coming around, and eventually I just capitulated and.

Speaker 4 (09:59):
I was like, drinking, did that give you the Yeah?

Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah, I mean I'm always a little drunk, you know.
I love drinking so.

Speaker 4 (10:05):
Like, but I mean I was, I have my own
whiskey and was brought you a botty. I remember, I've
read one of your book and you're a voga person,
so they had to know. Some people were like, I
don't fucking drink whiskey, you know.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
I like whisky.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Whiskeys dice and warm, especially in the winter time. And
when I'm in like, I go, it's a whistler or
Canada for winter, and in the winter I'll drink whiskey.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
Okay, yeah, it warms your bones.

Speaker 4 (10:23):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
What's your whiskey called.

Speaker 4 (10:24):
It's called Bodega cat oh o cute. Cool. So you
grew up in New York in the city.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, here in the city, so you've never stray too far.

Speaker 4 (10:32):
No, I'm useless. Really, I'm fucking.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
Useless, like an Astrolanta motorcycle.

Speaker 4 (10:36):
Yeah, I'm terrible.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
Like, what do you think your best qualities are? If
you had you have to pick three?

Speaker 4 (10:41):
This is like describing your tour shit, Uh my best qualities?

Speaker 1 (10:47):
Like come on, you have to think of three good
things that make you valuable to to the human species.

Speaker 4 (10:53):
Damn. And if you can't think of I think I'm
pretty loyal.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Okay, that's great, that's a good one.

Speaker 4 (10:58):
I can't say, you know, I'm going to say, I'll
suck your coy.

Speaker 1 (11:03):
Okay, great, that's what somebody's got to do that, because
I'm not doing that either.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 4 (11:07):
That's why I was intimidated by us your cock. Thank
you loyal. I was going to say, good listener, but
I'm not. I'm on a bunch of Redlin right now.
To make sure I'm connected with you right now.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
I would say, though, in order to be a comedian,
and you have to be a good listener, because you can't.

Speaker 4 (11:23):
I'm observant, but I'm not a great listener. I'm to
a point, but then something pops into my head and
I start following that you do that, it's.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Add add yeah, absolutely, but we all have that. Oh my,
I'm so as long as you stay medicated. I don't
take medication for it, but I've just learned how to.
When I used to post talk shows, I would literally
be thinking about what the fuck I was going to eat.
If I was talking to somebody who didn't hold my interest,
I'd be like, what am I going to have when
I go upstairs? Are there any gummy bears. I'm like,
are there any red ones left? Or did everyone do

(11:50):
it like that was?

Speaker 2 (11:51):
You know? But I never I don't take any medication
for it.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
I just eventually just started going, Okay, you have to
fucking focus on what you're doing. Like, I want to
be able to read a book. I want to be
able to tune out my phone. I want to be
able to put a phone like on another side of
the room and not walk over to it every fifteen seconds.
So it's kind of like training yourself like a fucking dog,
you know.

Speaker 4 (12:11):
Yeah, And it's a book that interests me, I can't
put it down. But if it's something that I have
to like work at, I'm just like, fuck, I guess
I got to pick this up.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
Again, right right? So what's your family situation in New York?
How did you grow up?

Speaker 4 (12:27):
First couple of years just me and my mom, And
then she married a guy who became my stepdad, who
I love. He's a great dad. And then I got
a stepbrother and stepsister from his side, And that's my
family situation. They have kids. Now I don't have kids.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Okay, is that something that you want to have?

Speaker 4 (12:44):
I don't know. I think I would like one. I
think one is a good number when I get a pet.
Though I was going to say it pet's hard to
take care of. I was thinking that a kid is
probably also hard. I don't know. I think I need
a little time still to figure it out. How old
are you thirty eight?

Speaker 6 (13:00):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Okay, yeah, so you're not even forty years old yet.
So you haven't even like hit your little crisis zone.

Speaker 2 (13:05):
Yeah, that's coming.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
Especially as a male comedian, I'm always in chrisis. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
I feel like a lot of men are like in
longstanding male crises, comedians especially, I think women.

Speaker 4 (13:18):
I mean, you guys have a biological clock. But all
we have is if if we don't have kids at
a certain age, is like, what the fuck's wrong with
that guy? Right? That's all we get. It's not that bad.
But like you, I mean, you get judged for that
shit all the time. And I kind of liked you
just like I don't give a shit.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
Yeah, no, I don't want a baby, like that's a
fucking pain in the apt. You have a pet, yeah,
and he lives. He's in LA right now, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
I see him when I see him, and he says
and take it personally, and if he did, I can't
I wouldn't know about it because he can't fucking talk anyway.
That's why pets are amazing. Yeah, they work for you
in every situation. I sent him to Canada. I did
a euro tour. You're going on your European tour.

Speaker 4 (13:50):
Show, right, I am. I love I love going.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
To Europe and you're playing. I love performing in Europe.

Speaker 4 (13:55):
I just get your favorite what's your favorite party?

Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh? God, Paris was amazing. Berlin is awesome.

Speaker 4 (14:00):
I've never been to Berlin.

Speaker 1 (14:01):
Are you doing that whole that whole run? Yeah, you're
going to Copenhagen, Amsterdam.

Speaker 4 (14:05):
I've been. I've done Copenhagen. I'm not going this time,
but I'm doing Amsterdam again. I love.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (14:11):
So good.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
It's beautiful there, I mean, and it's really nice to
be out of this fucking country.

Speaker 4 (14:16):
It is good to get a little reset.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
Well, when I was there, I was going on stage.
It was right not right after the election, but like
a couple of months after the election. So I just
got on stage and just started apologizing on behalf of
our country, you know. And they were there for it.
They were happy to hear that. I'm like, listen, we're
not all like this. I'm really sorry about our country.
I don't know where you stand politically. I'm assuming you're
not a bro.

Speaker 4 (14:35):
I didn't. I didn't vote for Donald Trump, if.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
That's right, Okay, right right? I mean, I'm sure you're
not a Trump. I can tell whether you're outfit that
you're not a Trump supporter.

Speaker 4 (14:41):
I had a lot of Quartervroy jacket Trump he's out there. No,
I don't think so.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
So you're going you're doing your and then you're doing
Carnegie Hall too, right?

Speaker 4 (14:49):
I am? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (14:50):
What's the date on.

Speaker 4 (14:51):
That December fourth?

Speaker 2 (14:52):
Okay? And are you going to Europe after that or before?

Speaker 4 (14:54):
I'm going to Europe in October?

Speaker 2 (14:56):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (14:56):
Fun should be good.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
Yeah? And so are you going to go to like Rekuvic?
Are you going to Sweden?

Speaker 4 (15:01):
I'm not going to rec of it, unfortunately, I've done
Sweden before. I love Stockholm. That was awesome, but I
just couldn't fit everything, and I never I've never been
to Germany. So I want to go to Germany and
just someplace that hadn't been so.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
Right, you're not Jewish?

Speaker 4 (15:13):
I am Jewish?

Speaker 2 (15:14):
Oh you are? Well, you better go to Germany while you.

Speaker 4 (15:15):
Can, because they don't like us.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
I know, no, no, no, My friends just went to Frankfurt.

Speaker 1 (15:20):
They had to layover and Frankfurt got stuck there and
her son had like a high necklace on and she's like.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
The cab driver said, no, we're not taking you. We
don't drive nice.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
That was recently, so yeah, you might want to get
over to Germany quickly and.

Speaker 4 (15:33):
That bounce get in the cab, like, don't rub it in, dude,
just fucking you know, I get it.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
So you're like, so if you're this prolific with your
stand up, you're performing all the time, all week long,
how many and as in New Yorker are because I
know you New York comics like to get up like
sometimes three or four times tonight.

Speaker 4 (15:50):
Yeah, I've doubted back a little just for you know,
there was a point where I had some older comics
I respect be like, dude, you have to have a
life to write about exactly. You can't just like you know,
your audience is living. You have to live, so you know,
at a certain point, all your jokes are. This guy
came up to me after my set and he said this,
and you're like, that's not a fucking that's not comedy,
that's not life, right, So yeah, I try to. I

(16:14):
try to follow like an adventure every once in a while,
Like I'll just get fucking drunk some nights and be like,
let's see where this takes me. Back in the day,
I'd be doing like four sets tonight. I'm just gonna
like scour the village and try to have an adventure
or something with a friend of mine or something.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yeah, and also go on vacations.

Speaker 4 (16:29):
I'm so bad on vacation. I get really bored.

Speaker 2 (16:31):
Really.

Speaker 4 (16:32):
I'm doing some you know days off on this euro
tour so I can just chill, but I get really bored.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
Do you know how to swim?

Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yeah, well you should take some swimming classes, swimming class
so that you can have so you can improve on
your swimming skills and have a great.

Speaker 4 (16:46):
I'm a good enough swimmer, do you think so?

Speaker 2 (16:47):
But that doesn't sound convinced.

Speaker 4 (16:49):
How good a swimmer.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
That's part of what vacation is for me is swimming
like I want to be.

Speaker 4 (16:53):
So that's how I would like sweat out booze on
the road. I would go to like a rec center
or something and just.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
Swim laught and then sweat in the pool.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
Yeah, I don't really think it's sweating from swimming, but yeah,
like vacation vibes, so you sweat and then it just
goes right back into the.

Speaker 4 (17:06):
Water and the chlorine water. I think, really, is that
not right? You guys? What do you guys do over here?
Do they not fact check or.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
Something while you're swimming when you're in the water. But
this is a very interesting conversation.

Speaker 4 (17:17):
Maybe I'm dumb. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
I think maybe you are, because can you think about it.
You're in the water and then you're sweating. I understand
it's a workout. Yeah, but when you come out of
the water from swimming so hard, are you sweating?

Speaker 5 (17:32):
No?

Speaker 4 (17:32):
But you feel better. She must be losing some of that,
all right, So maybe sweating was the wrong word. But
it's it's healthy to swim.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Well, it's healthy to go on vacation and swim, is
what my point is. I love vacations. I'm all about working.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
So much for the rec center on the road I
painted for you, it wasn't like a tropical paradise, so
I never.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
Saw the inside of any rec center I love.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
I'm not that kind of jew I'm like that, I'm
a total like a ymca is what you're giving.

Speaker 4 (17:58):
Yeah, yeah, that's how I do the road. We go
to the Yeah, we did a tour bus and we
do the rec center every day.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
Jokoy had a tour bus and it smelled like balls.

Speaker 4 (18:06):
Did you guys do that together on the bus?

Speaker 1 (18:08):
I went on the bus like twice and that was tough.
I mean, we may or may not have had sex
on the bus. I don't really remember, but I was
disgusted by every part about it.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
There were so many men.

Speaker 4 (18:18):
It's not for women.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
It's not for women.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
It should actually just say these are not available for
women in a non discriminatory way.

Speaker 4 (18:25):
Yeah. Nikki Glazier called me up and she's like, do
you like the tour bus. I was like, yeah, I do,
but you're not going to.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Nikki doesn't take a bus, does she.

Speaker 4 (18:31):
Yeah. But I got a lot of people hit me
up like do you like that? And I'm just like, yeah,
but that doesn't. It's weird when people ask you if
you like something. Yeah, of course that does like it.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
Yeah, that's kind of like what can we expect from
your show? Yeah, so that's what you do on the road.
You go on the road, you go to a rec
center and you bring your crewer my crew.

Speaker 4 (18:48):
We play some basketball or a swim.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
That sounds reasonable. Basketball in the center. I don't have
a problem with.

Speaker 6 (18:54):
That of that.

Speaker 4 (18:55):
And then we these new ymcs are all nice. You
go to the midwest of the South, they have like
saunas and stuff in there. Usually there's not a weird
dude in there. Sometimes there is masturbating. Oh yeah, yeah,
that's that's low fucking end. Well it's not like an
Equinox dude, jack and off. At least you're like, all right,
that's I'm not gay, but at least he looks good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
But most of these gyms in New York, like men
know which ones are the gay gyms and which one
are the straight gyms, So that if you walk into
a sauna and there's three guys jerking off, that's because
that's what's supposed to happen.

Speaker 4 (19:25):
I'm like Jack Reacher, I'm just passing through these ymca
So I don't know what you're right.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Well, I'm glad though that you're keeping it like you
have a lifestyle on the road. That's nice, got it,
because otherwise you're going to go fucking crazy totally. Yeah,
flying in and out of cities like I like to
fly in and out because and I also don't like
to stay in cities where.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
They don't have a nice hotel.

Speaker 4 (19:43):
Yeah, I see that.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
I've already done that a million times. I'm over it.
I totally want any discomfort in my life.

Speaker 4 (19:49):
I think. I think being a young female comic doing
the road like that is like, that's tough.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
I used to do the San Francisco punchline all the
time and once the first time. Yeah, great club right now,
it's kind of Cobbs is another big club there too,
but that was always there. But the first time I
ever did the road I did, I opened for it
was David tel was headlining.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
Zach of course, the best Zach. I haven't seen him
in yours.

Speaker 1 (20:13):
Zach Elfanakis was middling and it was me and I
had to sleep with Zach Alifanakis in his hotel room
at the Commodore Hotel.

Speaker 4 (20:19):
Because I going to say, just to get the gig.

Speaker 1 (20:21):
Because well, I mean no, Zach would never do something
like that. He's the only male comic that would never
do something like that, but he did. Every night we
went to sleep and he would whisper in my ear,
I will never rape you.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Oh yeah, and that was sweet. It was romantic a
little bit.

Speaker 4 (20:35):
Yeah, you do always playing the piano.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
No, no, he didn't have the piano in the room, damn.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
But that was my first week on the road and
I just realized, oh, you it costs more to even
get there than you're going to make it.

Speaker 4 (20:45):
When we start selling merch when you're a young comic.
But as an opener, oh yeah, you got it. But
I remember doing gigs with David tel and he was
the most fun ever. I mean, we were driving back
from a gig at Terrytown Music Hall once and he
does that thing he'll bring you on stage and you're like, dude,
you're the quickest guy in the world. I'm not going
to keep up with you. But he's you know, he's
super supportive. Then of course he murders. We're in the

(21:07):
car ride back. The whole ride he's like, I'm a
fucking hack. I fucking suck and we're like, dude, you're
all of our favorite comics and he's like, well, I'm
better than you, guys.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
That's funny.

Speaker 5 (21:17):
I know.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
He kind of does self hate.

Speaker 4 (21:19):
Oh my god. Yeah, but it's kind of refreshing. So
many people love themselves. I mean, I don't think he
should hate himself, but like, you know, just to hint
of self loathing is kind of good, I think for
a little bit.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
But not don't get carried away with that because then
you're like Sveth spending all day talking about what a
fucking loser you are. That's not good either. I mean
that's not good, especially.

Speaker 4 (21:35):
You seem like you have a good drinker's energy, because
I think the hangover is good for me because I
wake up with like a little bit like you piece
of shit. I need like a little bit of like
you're a piece of shit.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
Well, I always have my best shows or like when
I was like did you doing my talk shows? I
always had my best shows when I had a little
alcohol in me from the night before, because it's just
takes like then you don't give a shit, you know,
you're just kind of like Lucy Goosey.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
I don't like to be tightly wound.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
I don't really get like that anymore because now I've
been doing this for so many years. But I don't like,
I don't like nerves before I go out on stage.
I understand that they're good for their purposeful you know,
it means you give a shit. But I don't like
to be nervous. So luckily with enough time under my belt.
And I'm sure you probably feel this way too, after
however many years you've been doing stand up, which is

(22:19):
what twenty years about. Yeah, twenty years you? I mean
you don't get nervous, right, No.

Speaker 4 (22:25):
Not really, I mean I get like bored, that's what
that's where the alcohol comes in. I get. I'll get
like disconnected, you know, especially when I do that many
shows in a row. I'm just like a r I
need a drink to to spice things up, to spice
things up. Maybe I'll go down a different road with
this bit tonight or something or Yeah. I just like
first few days, I don't really need a drink, and
then like by day four, I'm like I need like

(22:45):
them in head and I need like a cocktail. I
need like a proper cocktail. I need to get a
little buzz.

Speaker 5 (22:49):
Right.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
Well, that seems like you have a healthy relationship with alcohol.

Speaker 4 (22:51):
Yeah, I think so. I respect it. I know that,
like I don't want to ever have to quit. Yeah, yeah,
that was good. You said that before Bush.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
Obviously, I had a boyfriend once who told me, He's like,
I don't ever want to abuse alcohol because I don't
ever want to have to give it give it up.
And I was like, let me write that fucking down,
because I'm with you. I sometimes go overboard with drugs
and alcohol, but I always reul myself back in because
I know I can't. I can't act like that, you
know what I mean. I'm like smarter than my body.
I'm not gonna end up in a rehab knock on

(23:20):
wood or somebody knock on something.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
I like what you do with morning news shows. How
should should I say that?

Speaker 6 (23:28):
What's that morning news shows that awesome?

Speaker 2 (23:31):
What are they called morning.

Speaker 4 (23:32):
A morning shows?

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Like local news shows? Local news shows.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
I like that you call them up and fuck with
these people because these are the people who aren't wearing
pants underneath a desk, Like when you're in a local
when you're in like let's say Akron, Ohio, okay, and
you go on a local news show and you're promoting
your show and these people are basically you could say
my penis is out and they would be like, what
can we expect from your show tonight?

Speaker 2 (23:55):
There is no change, of course.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
And Sam does this really funny thing where he brings
up really uncomfortable topics Catherine while he's being interviewed in
the morning, and he'll be like, oh, what was one
of the ones that you did?

Speaker 4 (24:07):
You?

Speaker 2 (24:08):
I liked the human trafficking, right, trafficking?

Speaker 4 (24:11):
Yeah, it's funny, that's so funny. Where are you talking
about that guy? That guy? I broke him, I think,
but the woman kind of got it.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
But don't you think those people are slightly broken anyway?
I mean no offense to any newscasters who were watching,
but seriously, you guys need to take a look at
yourselves in the mirror.

Speaker 4 (24:27):
Yeah. I think they're just so scared. I think they're
just living and they have to walk such a tightrope.
And we just that started because I was forced to
do that at like improvs and stuff like you have
to you don't. If you miss that, you can't do
the weekend. So I'd be like, all right, so I'd go,
but I'd be in like two hours sleep, hungover and
in a bad mood. And it started. The one that
started it was in Pittsburgh where someone was like, so

(24:48):
have you always been funny? And you're just sitting there
like and I said no. But when I was young,
my uncle he was funny and he molested me and
I got his powers like a spider man, and they
were just like okay, and I just and I just
kind of turned to the camera and smiled, and I
remember leaving like can I get that footage? It's like
a funny clip. And they were like, get out. So
it turned into like a turned into like a heist.
It turned into like a thing where I'm like, oh,

(25:10):
get I called the uber before I go on because
I know they're gonna be fucking pissed, and I just
run out and jump in. So that one people thought
it was funny. So it was like, oh I can
take something I hate it and make it fun. So yeah,
the Columbus one people liked. I don't know, you just
you just go in. You're like, is there something in
the news I can fuck with? I don't know.

Speaker 1 (25:27):
It's just nice to fuck with people who are so
serious about nonsense, you know what I mean. We're talking
about the weather, like unless there's a fucking hurricane coming,
it's not that serious. And we're talking about morning news,
which is pretty banal. Yeah, there's nothing really happening there
either scripted.

Speaker 4 (25:43):
So when you go on there and you just make
it a mess, it's kind of it's fine.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
Yeah, yeah, I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
So, after everything we're speaking about, you like being on
the road, would you say that you prefer that over
being at home?

Speaker 4 (25:55):
I mean, I like both. I romanticize the road though,
I love it. I love that.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
How do you romanticize the road?

Speaker 4 (26:00):
Like, holy shit, this is cool. I'm like, and you know,
it makes me have a deeper appreciation for America. Like
you go to these random cities and you're like, this
is great.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
You know, what are some of your favorite cities that
you really like? Because I are some of the ones
that you really will never go back to.

Speaker 4 (26:12):
Well, people know, I hate Naples, Florida. I fucking hate
that all together. There's parts of Florida I love, but
but overall, like, yeah, Naples was like that one took
that that one I took a beating there. They hated
me really Yeah, that one sucked.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
What was so bad about it?

Speaker 4 (26:28):
I don't know, I just couldn't connect. I also this
opener who was high energy and hilarious and like he
since passed away. This guy, Carl Michael.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
How did he pass away?

Speaker 4 (26:38):
I think he I think it was my guess would
be drugs.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
Okay, so you don't know, I don't.

Speaker 4 (26:42):
We weren't super close. He just happened to be open
for me that week. But I thought he was funny.
I thought he was really good and he was a
lot of good.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
That does now that he's dead, I mean, you should
have told him then.

Speaker 4 (26:49):
I did tell him that, Oh great. I wasn't resentful
that he was burying me. I was fine with that he.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
Did better than you.

Speaker 4 (26:54):
Oh totally.

Speaker 2 (26:55):
Oh that's funny.

Speaker 4 (26:56):
I was cool.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
I always feel the same way too.

Speaker 4 (26:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
I have many open for me a lot, and she's
fucking hilarious and sometimes I'm like half the time people
are like, who's your opener? I'm like, I have no
problem with an opener being funnier than me, no whatsoever.

Speaker 4 (27:10):
Yeah, I know he was super high energy and I
talk like this on stage, so I think these old
people are looking at me like he's not even trying,
but I'm like, no, this is how I perform, you know.
So yeah, I just bombed every show. They hated me,
and I was like, oh, I'm never fucking coming back
and that became like a big part of my act
is how much I hate in Naples.

Speaker 5 (27:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (27:28):
And then but then cities I like, I think, you know,
Chicago's amazing. I love SF. I love San Diego is
really cool. Seattle.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
There's always sleeper cities too that like I would always
be hesitating, Like I don't really like to go to
Florida in general, just because of the politics, and I
find it so just to be a depressing place. I
know there are decent places to perform, and there are
good venues down there, but I try, but like, you know,
like Alabama had never gone to and then I went
and did a show in Montgomery and it was fucking
awesome because there is those always those groups of people

(27:57):
that really want you to calm down there that they
don't get, you know, they don't get everybody passing through
those cities, so they're even more wildly appreciative of it.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
And I like that. I like serving it up for
those people.

Speaker 4 (28:08):
Yeah, and this is Look, it's a complex country that
we live in, but there are these pockets that surprise
you and you're like, this is amazing. I had a
great time here, you know, And that's part of the road,
Like I would never go to some of these cities
if I wasn't a comic, and then you find out
you like them. It's kind of cool. So that's part
of the way I romanticize the road. And I think
your actress gets better if you're out like that. You're
just like, okay, I'm making it. I was in Zanies

(28:30):
once and they told me you were in the green.
They were like, oh, Chelsea Hamm was just hearing like
every show she was just making adjustments. I mean, that's
the road. You know, you're tweaking, you're trying stuff like
that keeps me when I'm excited about stand up. That
makes me love it, love the road because I come
back and I feel the results of it.

Speaker 1 (28:45):
Oh yeah, I see what you're saying. So you're working
on your stuff a lot on the road.

Speaker 4 (28:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
I was just having this conversation with a friend of
mine because I was like, oh, I started in LA
doing stand up even though I'm from Jersey. Originally I
started doing stand up in LA and that culture there
isn't like three or four sets a night.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
You don't do that. You know, you do like four
or five sets a week.

Speaker 1 (29:05):
You get up every night once maybe twice, but like
those for diehards. But once I started doing the road,
like I don't come back to LA and go up
at the comedy Store or go to the laugh Factory
like I do my my shows.

Speaker 4 (29:16):
When I sit telling you do I, why don't you
ever go up there?

Speaker 1 (29:19):
I just I don't have any desire, like I want
to do my hour set, not a twenty minute set
or something like I will if it's a friend's show
and somebody asks me, but typically you're not gonna see
me at those clubs.

Speaker 2 (29:30):
I just don't.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
I feel like I've I don't want to say I've
outgrown it because that sounds like I'm too good for it,
which is not the case. I just don't have a
When I'm home, I want to fucking chill and recuperate,
because when I'm on the road, it's like Wednesday through
Sunday sometimes or you know, Thursday through Saturday, and then
I'm done and I come home and I'm.

Speaker 2 (29:48):
Like, chill, chill, chill, go back out.

Speaker 4 (29:50):
So I think one of my fears and my audience
is very forgiving if I take a long time to
get to a punchline, because I think they know it's coming. Yeah,
but like you know, if someone will take something with
seller is the comedy seller and they're just like, what
the fuck are you doing? So I want, I want
to know how the jokes are for people that aren't
straight up just there for.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
Me, right, Yes, I understand that, you know.

Speaker 4 (30:12):
And I also live like seven minute walk from the cellar,
so I feel like I go there more than I should, probably,
but but I love I love throwing shit at the
wall there. It's awesome.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yeah, I mean that's a good point.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
You do want to perform with people in front of
people that are not your fans totally.

Speaker 4 (30:27):
Yeah. I mean I feel like you stop growing if
you don't do that, at least a little bit.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
You know, I'm just waiting for my house to be
done so I can fucking sell it and move to
New York. Probably move to New York, I mean, I hope,
So that was my plan about three years ago.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
I got second there.

Speaker 4 (30:41):
Seemed like a New Yorker. You don't seem like an
LA person.

Speaker 2 (30:42):
I'm a Jersey that's the jersey you have.

Speaker 4 (30:44):
Like a I think wherever you start, that's kind of
how you feel to me. And I saw you in
the city, like way back in the day. That wasn't
even a comic. I think you were opening for a tel.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
I saw you, Oh maybe Caroline's and uh and.

Speaker 4 (30:58):
You had like a New York mentality, so you feel
New York you should come here.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
Yeah, I would like to be here. I would like
to There's so much more action here.

Speaker 4 (31:05):
Las cool.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
It's a little bit like really healthy living and everyone's
in bed by eight. So I go there to recover,
you know. Mostly it's kind of like rehab.

Speaker 4 (31:13):
I'm healthy when I'm there.

Speaker 1 (31:14):
Yeah, everyone's healthy people. You can't get a drink after
ten o'clock at night.

Speaker 2 (31:18):
Nothing is open.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
Yeah, anywhere in La, like they have never recovered from COVID.
When you guys, when you were living with Taylors started
to bring this up again, But were you guys in
New York or La?

Speaker 4 (31:28):
We uh a little bit of both. During COVID we
were in La uh huh, and that was probably the
healthiest I've ever been.

Speaker 2 (31:36):
Yeah, I would imagine.

Speaker 4 (31:37):
I mean she doesn't drink, so you know, she felt bad.
I was there, so she's like, let's go to Vonn's
and let's just find a bunch of liquor. For you see,
don't go crazy, but she doesn't. It's also weird to
just drink when the other person is still drinking. Yeah,
not that, like I can't, but it's just not as fun.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
No, it's not as fun. I actually had this show.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
I was dating this guy and I had the shoulder
injury last year and I couldn't drink for like thirty
days because I had it, Like I had to get
this intravenous antibiotics every twenty four hours, asking.

Speaker 4 (32:05):
The doctor for loopholes, Like what if?

Speaker 1 (32:06):
I mean, well, I find out after because you could
have been drinking on those antibiotics. They're so strong they'll
kill everything. I'm like, you could have fucking told me
that a month ago. No, but I was like, oh good,
a month of sobriety under my belt, Like I could
use that, you know, I mean I like to have
a drink. So but this guy didn't take the queue
and he kept drinking while I was unable to drink,
and I was like, you're out, get out of here.

Speaker 2 (32:26):
I'm like, are you stupid?

Speaker 1 (32:27):
This is your one opportunity to like band together with
your partner who cannot drink.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
This is the moment you don't drink.

Speaker 4 (32:33):
Also, Yeah, I was there was a go I wasn't
like dating, but we were kind of hooking up a
little bit and she would just happen to be in
town and she goes, where are you, I'd love to
see you, and she showed up. I was just at
a bar, shitface with my friend and she was disgusted.
But I didn't know she was coming. Like she just
taped me up like like twenty minutes before, like let's
hang out, and she was like, you just drunk. I'm like,
he met me at a bar that had been there

(32:54):
for like three hours. Yeah, I'm gone.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Yeah that's hard. Being drunk is pretty.

Speaker 4 (32:58):
Is probably not even a bad drunk, Like any bad
drunk as you get older has to quit. I'm a
pretty please I'm like a go getter when I'm drunk.
I talk about like grand ideas. I'm like, oh, I'm
going to do this, It's going to be great. I
make big promises. I don't follow through on them, but
I do in my heart want to do them.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
Yeah, your intention is there.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
Yeah, you have a good, healthy relationship with alcohol.

Speaker 4 (33:18):
I'm the type of drunk who tells you, like how
I genuinely feel about you, and I'm it's going to
be good. I'm not going to drink with you. I
don't like mm hmm. So it's all positive.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
So that's very high school too, when you get drunk
and start telling people how much you like them. That
reminds me of like, you know, eleventh grade in high school, yes,
where people like you're my best friend, you know what
I love about you? This is what I love or
or like MDMA people say that, but at a certage, Yeah,
have you ever done MDMA?

Speaker 4 (33:43):
Drugs?

Speaker 1 (33:44):
Don't like that?

Speaker 4 (33:45):
Okay, well I'll do like basically, I'll do like like
if it's a muscle relax or something, or like yeah,
you know, rhythlin and stuff like that. But I don't
do do do you do a lot of pills and stuff?

Speaker 1 (33:54):
I mean, I'm familiar with pills. I mean I'm pretty
much like I'm.

Speaker 4 (34:00):
All familiar with such a classy way to say that
I'm familiar with pills.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
But I wouldn't. I wouldn't say I'm a pill popper,
like if.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
I if I if I have, like I had surgery
on my foot a couple like I guess two months ago,
and I had some pain pills for that but I wasn't.
It wasn't like the enjoyment I would have gotten from
pills like ten years ago. Like I'm not interested in
that stuff anymore, but I do like like MDMA, I
like LSD. I microdose LSD all the time. I love LSD.

(34:29):
I think it's the best, like upper So I'm pretty
like open. I'm a very drug positive drug I get
along well with drugs.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
I rarely have a bad time.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
I was just in a beza for three days and
that ends it on a sour note. But that I
don't think had anything to do with drugs. That was
more that was just like the heat, extreme heat, and
like from just like sick from like just I was
at this party for like three days. It was an
ongoing party, different people, groups of people. It wasn't one party,
but just like too much and it's hot, and I

(35:00):
was like, I'm out.

Speaker 2 (35:01):
I don't feel good at all.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
And then I slept for like almost twenty four hours
and missed my flight back.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
Fuck yeah, I mean I missed it intentionally.

Speaker 4 (35:09):
You know.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
I was like, I'm not making this flight. It's not happening.

Speaker 4 (35:11):
I have to sleep cool when you made that choice,
so yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
It feels good. It feels good.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
And then they were like, well, we have to change
your hotel room because you were supposed to check out.
And I was like, well, good luck with that because
I'm not fucking getting up.

Speaker 4 (35:22):
And I'm like, you did squatters law.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
I was like, you have to come and remove me.

Speaker 4 (35:25):
You use your squatters right.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
I was like, common, gat my luggage and then bring
me a wheelchair and feel me to the next location.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Because that's how this is going down. And that's how
it worked.

Speaker 4 (35:35):
Like it was fine, you're super hungover.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
I was just like I was just weak. It was
more of weak, like I wasn't I didn't get sick
or anything. I just felt like, you know, sometimes you
get zapped, and for me, I have the climate change is.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
Going to be a big problem for me because I
can't fucking take the eat.

Speaker 4 (35:49):
Yeah, I need. I want to invest your jew. Yeah,
East Coast Jew. That's all we do is complain about.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
Anything anything really. Yeah, it doesn't have to be the weather.

Speaker 5 (35:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:59):
Okay, we're gonna take a break and we're going to
be right back with Sam.

Speaker 3 (36:01):
Morrell calling all duos. We're looking for more couples to
write in for couples counseling with Chelsea. So whether that's
your partner or your mom or your best friend, feel
free to write into Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
Okay, and we're back with Sam Morrell. His tour right now.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
Everybody you can go see him at Sam morrell dot com.
That's m O R R I L. His tour is
called the Errors Tour, not to be confused with the
other tour that ended last year.

Speaker 4 (36:34):
How did you familiar?

Speaker 2 (36:35):
How did you come up with that name?

Speaker 4 (36:36):
Sound? I don't know, it just came to me, just
hit me, and do people get confused? It's happened. Yeah.
I saw another comedian using it too, and I was like,
I beat him to.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
It another one. How can you do that at the
same time.

Speaker 4 (36:47):
Mine was already out there.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
I can't do it, I know, But did that guy
do a Google check and find out that it's happening?

Speaker 4 (36:53):
But it's all right.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
Your newest special is called Same Time Tomorrow, which.

Speaker 4 (36:56):
No newest ones? What you've changed? That one's on Amazon
Same Time Tomorrow with a Netflix one, but that's on
my YouTube channel now I got the rights back for.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
That, did you for Netflix? Wow? Nice? You're quite a
deal maker.

Speaker 1 (37:07):
You are Jewish and you've changed is on Amazon.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 (37:13):
As with all his other specials, the Hour was immediately
a hit with fans and critics alike, with The New
York Times praising him as reliably funny.

Speaker 4 (37:22):
I didn't send this.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
Here's a quote from Vulture, just to make you even
more embarrassed. A good comedian who has done the work
of establishing a clear, distinct persona can get as big
of a laugh on a pause as they can a punchline.
Oh that's a great compliment. Yeah, that's actually what you
just said about yourself kind of is it? Moments ago
you said your audience is forgiving when you lead up
to a joke. I mean, it's not the same as

(37:45):
a pose, but I'm gonna.

Speaker 4 (37:46):
I just meant their patient with me because I'm Sometimes
it's it's you know, you know how it is when
you have the nopet out you're trying to figure it out. Yeah?

Speaker 2 (37:52):
Yeah, did you bring your notepacket on stage?

Speaker 5 (37:54):
A lot?

Speaker 4 (37:55):
I try not to. I ran into someone who called
me out for it recently on this at a bar.
He was I always had it showing you just had
your fucking notepad out and I was like, well, you know,
I build the show is working out new material.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
And he's like, still, dude at the cellar.

Speaker 4 (38:07):
No it. I was at a bar with a friend
like you talking about and Dania Beach at the improv
there and I was doing workout show.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
So I think if you're at a comedy club, you're
allowed to bring your notes on stage.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
I mean, who gives a shit.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
It's like you're doing Madison Square Garden and looking at
your notebook.

Speaker 4 (38:20):
Yeah, which, by the way, yeah, sorry, oh oh my god?
That bad.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
Well, I mean it wasn't great.

Speaker 4 (38:26):
It came out involuntarily, it was.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
It came out more of as an exhale. But I
know what a burp is.

Speaker 4 (38:31):
Fun. I thought I thought it could be sneaky.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
I'm just waiting for it to reach my nostrils, but
it hasn't been, which is lucky. Okay, So you also
did the Rest of the Year a little bit with
Cannon Burner.

Speaker 4 (38:43):
Yes, how was that terrible? Was it awful?

Speaker 2 (38:46):
Why?

Speaker 4 (38:47):
It was just a mess. So it was like a
four hour shoot and people were like they people some
of the people that couldn't read a prompter, so they're
taking like thirty minutes to do their set and we're
just sitting at a table behind them.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
Like just fun. Oh was it a audience?

Speaker 4 (39:01):
Oh yeah, it was like a four hour shoot.

Speaker 3 (39:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (39:02):
I thought it was so bad for the crowd.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
I think Jeff asked me to do that, and I
was like, I'm not, no, I don't do roast.

Speaker 4 (39:08):
First of all, I said no, and then Mark Norman
said yes because they told him. I said yes, and
he's your buddy. He's my buddy, and then he was
We kind of were like, what if we just did
it together so it would take the you know out
of it, take this thing and we had fun. Actually, yeah,
working it out together was fun because we were like
riffing off each other, figuring out jokes.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
I liked to Are you typically into roast? Do you
like to do those?

Speaker 4 (39:28):
I wouldn't say it's like my style of humor, but
I yeah, I like them. I think they're like they're
it's a tradition for a reason. It's fun. Yeah, how
about you.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
I mean, I've never done them, just because my personality
is so like I'm just roasting people anyway, Like I
don't really need to be.

Speaker 2 (39:42):
I've always looked at it.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
Like that's a hat on a hat, you know what
I mean, Like it's a little much.

Speaker 2 (39:46):
You'd I mean to go off on people all the time.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
Yeah, now that I'm not on a show where I'm
roasting people all the time, it would be a different thing.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
But I don't know.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
I would have to see what they he asked me
to do this one. But it was at the worst
time of the year. I was like, I just had
just got Whistler. I'm like, I'm not leaving.

Speaker 4 (40:01):
There was a period when I think, like Roast Battle,
that stuff got too big, and all these new comics
could they were graded insulting people, but they didn't have
five minutes on themselves. So to me that I was
kind of like, add is becoming too much of a thing.
But when it's a big I didn't like the idea
of roasting the year either, because it's like I don't
like roasting people who aren't in the room.

Speaker 5 (40:19):
M m.

Speaker 4 (40:20):
So that's why we most of our jokes were like
Diddy Luigi, I'm like, all right, let's they're either on
trial or in jail, Like, let's shit on people that
actually or not here for a reason.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
Right, We're gonna take callers and get into some advice soon.
This is what we do here at chor Chelsea. You're
gonna love it. What is your situation now romantically? Do
you have a girlfriend?

Speaker 4 (40:38):
No? I don't do you?

Speaker 2 (40:39):
Are you good at being a boyfriend?

Speaker 1 (40:43):
This is a very female heavy show, so you're gonna
have a lot of new female fans.

Speaker 4 (40:47):
Cool. So if you want to say if you're a
good girlfriend or no.

Speaker 1 (40:51):
I wouldn't date me. I mean, I'm doing my own thing.
I don't really have any respect for like anyone. Like
I don't like to be in a couple. I like
to just do my own thing and casual encounters.

Speaker 4 (41:02):
Okay, that's cool. I think I'm really in it. I'm good,
but I was in one for a while and it
takes a while for me to I like to kind
of heal for a while and then just go do
my own thing.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
You need to recover from the relationship for a while,
totally right. Well, that's nice to hear from a man
because a lot of women feel that way.

Speaker 4 (41:20):
Really, Yeah, like a lot.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
It takes a lot out of you to be in
a relationship. First of all, you fall in love and
then you get you can get your heart broken, and
so then you're vulnerable and you like you have to
like kind of almost kind of lick your wounds regardless
of how the relationship ended, Like you can have your
heartbroken even if you're the person that ended the relationship.

Speaker 4 (41:35):
Actually, yeah, no, it's I'm usually the person who gets dumped,
I feel like, which is kind of great.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
Well, you're a man, so you should be getting dumped. Yeah,
I mean, you guys have done enough.

Speaker 4 (41:46):
I'm getting punished for every man ever.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
Well, all men should be punished for every man ever
or not should be, but they are kind of being punished.

Speaker 4 (41:52):
Maybe.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
I think what it is really, I'll tell you what
it is, because I was just thinking about this the
other day. Yeah, I was because I'm just coming back
onto men, Like I was kind of grossed out by
men for a period of time.

Speaker 4 (42:02):
Did you ever do you ever have like a lady
phase or no?

Speaker 1 (42:04):
Yeah, but only with guys, like in threesome situations, Like
I'm not hooking up with girls on my own, you know,
I'm not like, hey, come over and eat my pussy,
but guys.

Speaker 2 (42:12):
I think.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
Ye, what my turn off was was this kind of
like political backdrop that we're in, even if men aren't
Trump supporters, it's very emblematic right now. The world we're
living in the news every single day is very emblematic
of the reason we're here in this situation in the
first place is because of men, you know, because of

(42:33):
men not standing up for women enough, standing up for
the rights of people that are not white, straight males enough,
Like men aren't they don't think that's their job, so
that you don't have to be a Trump supporter to
be contributing to that, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
So in a certain way, this is from my perspective,
only in a certain way.

Speaker 1 (42:51):
Like I was like, God, I'm so off of men
for like the last six months, and I was talking
it out with a friend.

Speaker 2 (42:56):
I'm like, oh, I know what it is.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
I'm like, I'm so grossed out by what we're dealing
with right now that I want to blame all men
for bringing us here, not just the men who's voted
for Donald Trump, but all men, all men for not going, oh,
gay people need rights. I'm actually going to actively stand
up for their rights. I'm going to actively stand up
for women's rights and you know, equity and all of
the things that matter. So but now I'm starting to

(43:19):
realize you guys didn't know any better.

Speaker 4 (43:22):
Yeah, I mean, I feel like if we get blamed
for all the bad stuff men have done, we should
also get credit for all the great stuff men have
done too. Like you know, I name something maybe before
I falk you. I'm like this condom A dude came
up with that. Oh that's kind of cool.

Speaker 1 (43:36):
Yeah, but that's just you guys helping yourselves again, do
you see, Because you're protecting yourself from having a child, so.

Speaker 4 (43:41):
You have to be protect you from my STDs.

Speaker 1 (43:43):
But you have to think of STDs.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
Yes, he does. By the way we test, he doesn't count.

Speaker 4 (43:49):
He tested all count.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
He tested all of our guests before they come in.
And you've tested positive for three different human papalomavirus, your
HIV positive HIV it's treatable now, and you have her beast,
which is also treatable. So problems there are.

Speaker 4 (44:06):
God damn it.

Speaker 1 (44:07):
I bet you didn't realize you were going to get
diagnosed when you came on this podcast.

Speaker 4 (44:10):
I didn't think so, But you know what, this is
A p gave me a trip to the doctor.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
You're right, I am a factor.

Speaker 1 (44:16):
I like to refer to myself as a farm to
table guynecologist. Our callers know that already.

Speaker 4 (44:22):
Yeah, No, I think I understand. I understand women are
especially when Roe v Way got overturned, I understand that.
I think that was uh yeah, it's just like.

Speaker 1 (44:31):
You're you're insulted that we don't have enough comrades, you
know what I mean. It's like, why are we always
the ones screaming and yelling? Why aren't guys helping a
fight for us?

Speaker 5 (44:40):
You know?

Speaker 1 (44:40):
That's that's the sentiment. And I'm not saying that guys don't.

Speaker 4 (44:44):
There are plenty of in this election.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
Yeah, but those women are being controlled by their husbands.
And you know what I mean, like women who listen
to their husbands, Like any woman that voted for Donald
Trump is probably married to somebody who's a Trumper. And
that's a general is a that's probably not true for
every single one, but I'm sure.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
It's true for a lot.

Speaker 1 (45:04):
And again that's on the fault of men for influencing
their wives.

Speaker 4 (45:09):
Well, I feel terrible about this, guys. I'm sorry, Thank you.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
That's all I was looking for was.

Speaker 4 (45:13):
An apology this podcast.

Speaker 2 (45:15):
Yeah, well you will get it.

Speaker 4 (45:16):
You will get it.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
By apologizing. That's the first step.

Speaker 4 (45:19):
Yeah, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
Okay, Catherine, what do we have on tap for today?
For Sam?

Speaker 3 (45:23):
All right, Well, our first caller today is Morgan. The
subject line of her email is my dad wants me
to meet his son. Ye, Dear Chelsey, I am a
thirty seven year old woman who's found herself living in
the same town as her father after many years far
far away in NYC. My dad's dating life is a
fiery disaster. He's sixty five, has done well financially, and

(45:45):
has ended two of his marriages by having illicit, highly
choreographed affairs. He's been married three times, the first being
my mother. His most recently terminated relationship was with a
thirty two year old who was in need of financial help.
An entirely devoid of personality. He insisted that we meet her,
which we did, and I attempted to get to know her,
despite being squarely between mine and my brother's age at

(46:07):
the time. When she met my dad, he was more
than happy to pay for her bachelor's degree in nursing,
move her whole family into his home, including her brother
who was overcoming a gambling addiction, and after a few
tumultuous years. They ultimately married with zero guests and attendance.
Six months later, they were separating, after having given her
the reins to property manage his real estate portfolio. She

(46:28):
still runs it. He pays her handsomely. They're in the
process of detangling it, but it's a fucking mess. She'll
ultimately gain a property or two from the whole sort
of affair.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
Ooh, lucky her.

Speaker 3 (46:39):
About a week ago, I got engaged to the love
of my life while on vacation in Maui. The day
I'm returning home, my dad asks if we would like
to meet quote Sammy, the twenty six year old he's
been courting long distance. I told him I wouldn't meet
her until he met her parents. This whole saga is
wrote to me. Now he wants a trophy wife, which
in his case just it's like a vulnerable young woman

(47:01):
who may come from a troubled or a super religious upbringing.
Sammy the new girlfriend is of the latter variety. I'm
currently just biding my time before he proposes to yet
another young woman, one he barely knows he intends to
be engaged to Sammy first, prior to meeting her very
religious parents. What an absolute joke. His trust in women
is bargain basement vibes sold dirt cheap. My dad and

(47:22):
they are close, but I've learned to keep some distance
in order to keep my peace. How do I proceed?
Do I just kill with kindness and limit my time
with him? I refuse to allow him to bring this
new SUNI to my wedding, and I dread even just
meeting this young woman who likes old men. But here
I am just trying to quote let them. Thanks again, Morgan.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
Hi, Morgan, this is our special guest, Sam Morrele today.

Speaker 4 (47:43):
Hi. How are you?

Speaker 1 (47:44):
Yeah, he's here to give you some straight heterosexual male
advice on this topic.

Speaker 2 (47:49):
Perfect.

Speaker 4 (47:50):
What do you mean by highly choreographed affair that sounds
like John Wick fucking or something that was that was crazy?

Speaker 2 (47:56):
Same thing?

Speaker 5 (47:57):
No, just that he them at all, you know, or
that they were highly secretive but like intentional.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
You know a lot of scheduling involved.

Speaker 5 (48:06):
A lot of scheduling involved a lot of yeah, ground
to cover.

Speaker 2 (48:10):
You want to limit your exposure to this woman?

Speaker 5 (48:12):
Yeah, I find it kind of disheartening, only because it's
now becoming just such a rote pattern. You know. I
mean like it doesn't really matter who it is, but
essentially he just wants someone young, and it's like kind
of devalues some of my relationship. Like I love my dad,
but his relationship with women is.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Like embarrassed digest Yeah, I mean like I would just
limit your exposure to her at all and just be
honest with your dad, Like I've already seen you get
swindled by this other woman. This seems to be a
pattern of behavior because there's not there's more than just
one right, right.

Speaker 5 (48:51):
Well, yeah, there was someone he recently had a brief
marriage with, who is like.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
That's the best kind to happen.

Speaker 4 (49:00):
Is he like a romantic? Does he think that? Is
he in this where he's like this is the one?
Is he that?

Speaker 3 (49:05):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (49:06):
Yes, he kind of has like this very old school
kind of romance.

Speaker 4 (49:12):
But there's like a forty year age gap, right, Yeah,
that's fucking all that. I remember reading about Sinatra dating
Mia Farrow and he was like sixty and she was
twenty one, and it's like, what the fuck do you
talk about? It doesn't matter my knees hurt. She's like
what I saw seven.

Speaker 1 (49:27):
I was at a dinner the other night there was
a seven year old, very famous seven year old with
a twenty one year old He's married, first of all,
and he was there with a twenty one year old
girlfriend who was in because and I know she was
twenty one because she went to Pepperdine.

Speaker 2 (49:37):
She was actively a Pepperdine student last year.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
I don't understand. Maybe Sam can shed light on this.
I think that first of all, men just need a woman.

Speaker 2 (49:47):
They can't be alone.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
Men have incredibly older men especially have an incredibly That's
why when men get divorced, they remarry immediately, and women
get divorced and they're like, I'm never fucking getting married again,
because women are taking care of them, and men want
to be taken care of and they want a younger,
hotter girl so that they feel relevant and that people
look at them and go, oh my god, look at
that guy. That Look at that man with that young girl.

(50:10):
He must be so incredible.

Speaker 4 (50:12):
But she must be. She's using him as well, though
clearly obviously.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
Yeah, I mean they're both using each other.

Speaker 4 (50:17):
Yeah, so it's.

Speaker 2 (50:18):
Actually a perfect thing.

Speaker 5 (50:19):
It's like I have fully resigned myself to the fact
that these relationships are transactional in nature, you know, it's like,
why do I have.

Speaker 2 (50:26):
To be involved? Well? Why do you have to be involved?

Speaker 5 (50:29):
Though?

Speaker 2 (50:29):
Is the question?

Speaker 5 (50:30):
Well, that's the thing, is like I've had moments where
I just can't deal with the drama of his life.

Speaker 4 (50:38):
But I don't even understand why you are. I mean,
just say, like, hey, it's my wedding. You come, but
I don't want her there. That's your wedding. That's cool, right,
and then and then and then why else do you
have to hang out with her? Just say it makes
me uncomfortable, Just say I don't I don't like that,
Or you can try dating a black guy and really
piss him off.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
Isn't your way for you to date a black guy,
because aren't you getting married.

Speaker 5 (50:57):
I'm getting readried to somebody whose last name is white.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
So you're the white guy.

Speaker 1 (51:01):
That would be even better if he was black and
his last name were white.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
Ye, that would be a double whoopsie doodle. Yeah, that
would be great.

Speaker 5 (51:09):
I know that I won't allow that to happen at
my wedding, or like she won't be there. I think
I know that I used to live, you know, on
the other side of the country, and now we're both
living in the same town again after you know, seventeen
eighteen years.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
That's perfect because then that's your excuse. You don't have
to go visit him. To visit him, you're in the
same town now, so that if you want to go
to lunch with your father, you don't have to hang
out with his girlfriend or whatever, you know, his prostitute
slash wife. And when when you said sunny, that threw
me for a lutulu because that applies.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
It was his daughter, right or your stepdaughter, right. So
it's not that bad.

Speaker 1 (51:46):
She's He's just a guy that's dating women that are
too young, and he's perfectly happy paying for them and
being taken advantage by them exactly. And that's fine. But
you can separate the two. You could be like, listen, dad,
we're in the same city now. I've had enough of
your drama with these young women. It's obviously a transactional relationship.
I don't want anything to do with it. It's embarrassing
to me. I love you, You're my father. When I

(52:07):
spend time with you, it's going to just be us
and that's it. And if you have a problem with that,
then I'm sorry, but I have to set up some
boundaries here because you've been doing whatever you wanted and
this last hot mess was it impacted all of you?

Speaker 4 (52:20):
Yeah? Yeah, but also he's not and you know you
have lunch with him, and that said, he's not gonna
try to bang any of your friends because they've aged
out probably, so you're safe there. And then yeah, just
just hang out with your dad and just your dad.

Speaker 2 (52:33):
Yeah, and don't have sex with him.

Speaker 5 (52:35):
No.

Speaker 2 (52:37):
Yeah, this whole Sunie thing put a damper on this conversation.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
I will say, Morgan, there is another very important piece
to this that you'll want to have a serious conversation
with your dad about, and that is inheritance stuff. You know,
him being I know you said with his previous wife
he had a prenup, but that's like not actually enough.
He needs to go to an elder law or a
state planning attorney and basically talked to him about like, hey,

(53:03):
we don't want this to be a thing where, like
God forbid, something happens to you, which it will eventually
that all of your assets go to this person who's
twenty six or whatever. You need to like set it
up so it follows the bloodline and any good elder
law or estate planning attorney should be able to help
him set up his assets in a way that like,
she can be provided for if they're still married at

(53:24):
the time of his death. But it's not just like Okay,
now she gets to go live her life with Biff
the pool boy.

Speaker 1 (53:29):
In fact, I would use that as a bargaining chip,
like I would say, if you do all of those things,
she's allowed to be in my life ten percent of
the time that I see you, I will tolerate her
as long as you protect yourself financially from this woman.

Speaker 4 (53:41):
Have you met her?

Speaker 5 (53:43):
No, I haven't met her. But essentially when I got
back from Maui a couple weeks ago, we had just
got engaged, and my dad was like, hey, do you
mind just meeting Sammy really briefly tomorrow?

Speaker 4 (53:54):
He stole your shine that's supposed to be your day.

Speaker 5 (53:57):
And I was like, no, I mean no, But also,
have you met her parents yet? And he's like no,
And I'm like, well, yeah, how about you like meet
her family or like understand a little bit of context,
like you've spent a total of what thirty five days
with her over the course of a somewhat distance you know,
very new relationship, Like why do you it's just the

(54:20):
financial dominance or like whatever that is, or whatever.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
This kink is.

Speaker 5 (54:25):
It's like, it's just he just needs to ascribe himself,
wants to be in a dedicated romantic relationship. He wants
to share his romance with everyone else in his life,
and really that's not a lot more than just his
family members at this point. And so it's like it's
kind of a sad scenario. But yes, I appreciate where
he said, Catherine, because a lot of it is kind

(54:46):
of like, oh, is this also going to turn into
some mess fully at the end of his life?

Speaker 2 (54:52):
I think that's the most important thing.

Speaker 1 (54:54):
You know, however, he spends his time whoever he wants
to fuck, like whatever, but you don't need it in
your face all the time.

Speaker 2 (54:59):
But be reasonable.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
But also the financial aspect being the most important aspect,
because you don't want these girls just like taking all
of his money. I mean, he's basically paying for a
wife or a girlfriend anyway. So let him go ahead
and do that, but don't let that be turned into
something in his will.

Speaker 4 (55:15):
I can ask a question, what's the minimum age going
forward that you'd be okay with him?

Speaker 5 (55:20):
Fucking and you meeting, I mean honestly.

Speaker 4 (55:23):
Because we get him to set his tender to that,
then maybe we avoid this in the future.

Speaker 5 (55:27):
You know, yeah, well exactly, But I forty forty, it
would just be someone who's like in or around my age,
because I really did give that last girl a chance,
you know what.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
I mean, like around your age.

Speaker 1 (55:39):
That's so gross to think of your father dating someone
your own age.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
It's fucking weird, right.

Speaker 1 (55:44):
Yeah, did I ever tell you the story, Catherine, when
my mother died. One week after my mother died, my father,
Seymour handler, who now, thank god, is deceased, was in
our kitchen and my brother Roy went over to our
house to check on my father in a thirty five
cornyside drive in Livingston, New Jersey, and his housekeeper, his
Jamaican cleaning lady, was nude in the kitchen cleaning for

(56:08):
him while he had his pants down on the sofa
twenty feet away from her.

Speaker 2 (56:13):
Now, that was a week after my mother died.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
That is that is what happens to older men when
they when they lose their wives.

Speaker 2 (56:21):
That's not all older men.

Speaker 4 (56:23):
I got to get a new cleaning lady I have.

Speaker 1 (56:26):
I would never ever have known how disgusting my father
was unless my mother had died. That's crazy disgusting. Wow,
can you imagine this poor woman?

Speaker 4 (56:36):
I mean, that is that how she came Well, I'm.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
Sure he's like, hey, why don't you take her clothes
off and clean and I'll sit here at masturbait and
I'll give you an extra forty bucks.

Speaker 2 (56:45):
I mean, I'm sure that was it was something along
those lines.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
But imagine hearing that on your group, your family thread, like, hey,
I just came over to dad's house and guess who
was naked in the kitchen.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
You're like, wow, this is a real bummer. Listen.

Speaker 1 (56:57):
Old men can be gross and they can have gross toes,
but it is your father. So I think we've sorted
this issue out. I think you're going to be fine,
and you just have to be very direct.

Speaker 2 (57:08):
Yeah, yeah, rank you so much. Thanks more, welcome, You're welcome.
Follow up with us? Okay, thank you, I will Bye.

Speaker 4 (57:17):
Sam.

Speaker 1 (57:17):
Do you think you'll be one of those men that
when you get older, you're going to want to date
twenty year old It's.

Speaker 4 (57:21):
Like, do you he No, I mean I won't go
that young now.

Speaker 1 (57:24):
I mean, I'm pretty you're not even forty yet, So
I don't think you really know until you're in your
fifties as a man, if you're going to go down
that road.

Speaker 4 (57:32):
I just think that's too young for me. I don't
really connect with it, like I t I think the
youngest I.

Speaker 1 (57:37):
Would go because at a certain point they're not talking
about anything.

Speaker 2 (57:41):
They're just there for you know.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
It's like your penis like a fuck doll. Yeah, and
it's also to show off. I would imagine it's.

Speaker 4 (57:49):
To show My friends would be impressed with it. I
think they'd be like, what the fuck are you doing?

Speaker 2 (57:53):
Right?

Speaker 1 (57:53):
But I would imagine that the men who are doing
that believe that people are looking at them with envy.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
Look at me, Look what I have.

Speaker 4 (58:02):
I don't know. I think I can't preduct. I'm really unproduct.
I don't have a type. Really, I'm pretty unpredictable with
who I date, so I don't think I would do that.
But I mean, my ex was older than me. I've dated.
Taylor's the youngest biggest age gap I've ever dated. Yeah,
I don't know. I think if the person's hot there,

(58:23):
if I'm attracted them, I don't give a shit.

Speaker 1 (58:25):
I know, but It's just that there's a different thing
that happens when there's somebody, a man that's over sixty
year over seventy with somebody that's twenty to thirty years younger.
I used to date guys that were like twenty years
older than me when I was in my twenties. Now
I wouldn't date someone twenty years older than me because
that means they're almost seventy Totally, Like, I'm not down
for that either.

Speaker 4 (58:42):
Say what stage of your life are you in? What
is interesting you right now? What do you want to
do with your life? Like, I don't want to date
someone who's just figuring out who they are, right, you know,
I'm pretty sure I'm pretty secure in who I am.
And you date someone's super young, You're just like, what,
it takes a lot of people to form an identity.

(59:04):
I think.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
Well, it's also interesting what you say about like what
stage of life you're in, because how many stages are there?

Speaker 2 (59:10):
You know?

Speaker 4 (59:11):
Like, oh I was I was with a girl who
was like just like I want to say, eight years
younger than me recently, and she took me to this
bar and I was like, this is fucking loud.

Speaker 2 (59:22):
This sucks sure that I appreciate.

Speaker 4 (59:25):
So it's just I mean, you go to certain bars,
you're like, this is for a certain age. And then
I always liked older people bars just because I like
that you could have a conversation, because you know, soft jazz,
we'll talk, we'll have a few drinks. But the loud music,
I'm getting older, Like I get it now. My mom
will be in a restaurant me and she'll be like,
this is so fucking loud. I'm like, it's not that loud.

Speaker 1 (59:46):
That's what the LSD is for, to tolerate those situations. Really, yeah, totally,
you can handle any situation on LSD.

Speaker 4 (59:52):
I hate loud.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
I understand what you mean.

Speaker 1 (59:54):
I also don't like loud, but like, if I need
to get it up in that environment, meaning need to
go and hang in that kind of environment.

Speaker 6 (01:00:02):
I'm going to I do have a penis, Sam, and
I think we all know I have a penis, But yeah,
then I'll take I'll take whatever whatever, I'll take whatever
means necessary to get me into the mood to hang
out in that situation.

Speaker 4 (01:00:15):
I know, I know what you mean, Like I want
to be a good sport, but I.

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
Feel the same way as you. It's fucking annoying. Loudness
is annoying.

Speaker 4 (01:00:21):
I see young people waiting on lines for bars and stuff,
and I'm like, what.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
Yeah, yeah that's something right, you don't do that right.

Speaker 4 (01:00:28):
Time is valuable.

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
Okay, let's well take a break and we'll be right
back with Sam Morell. And we're back to wrap it
up with Sam Morrell. Sam, it was great.

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
We've never met before.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
No, right, great, because I was like I always say
that and people like, oh, yeah, we've met you. I
was on your show, but no, we've never met before.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
So it's really nice to meet you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:50):
Yeah, and congrats on all of your success you too, Yeah,
you're really funny. Comic ladies, if you're if you're watching
and you're looking for a new male comic who's not
discussing and not a rapist, Morel's your man. His newest
special is on Amazon and then he's got other specials.

Speaker 4 (01:01:04):
On my next credit Netflix.

Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
Not a rapist, he's not He's not one like one
of those guys, those male comics that are gross and detestable.

Speaker 2 (01:01:12):
He's not like that at all. He's normal, he's he's clean,
he took a shower.

Speaker 4 (01:01:17):
The bar is so nice.

Speaker 6 (01:01:18):
And low.

Speaker 4 (01:01:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did shower before you took.

Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
I could tell he only burped once, but that was accident.

Speaker 4 (01:01:26):
Was a Seltzer though.

Speaker 1 (01:01:27):
Yeah yeah, okay, Well you can go catch him on tour, guys,
he's on the Errors tour and if you're in Europe
you can go see.

Speaker 4 (01:01:32):
Him there everywhere in Europe almost except a couple of
places she mentioned.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
And you can see him in Cardegie Hall in Chicago
Theater October fourth, Chicago Theater October fourth, Carnegie Hall December fourth.

Speaker 4 (01:01:42):
You said, yeah, yeah, okay, got Vegas coming up to
Venetian September nineteenth. Yeah, I got a bunch of fun
dates coming up.

Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
Okay, love it, love it, and then go follow him
on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
You guys, his stand up is really fucking funny, and
you're gonna like those call in shows he or Collins
he does to, Well they're not Collins, so fuck it. Anyway, Sam,
it was great to meet.

Speaker 4 (01:02:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
I put up new Vegas dates by the way for
next year. This year, I will be there November first
and November twenty ninth. Those are my last two dates
this year. Then I start up again January thirty first
March seventh, April eighteenth, and May thirtieth, and tickets are
now on sale for all of those dates.

Speaker 3 (01:02:20):
Do you want advice from Chelsea, Right into Dear Chelsea
Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea pod.
Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
producer Catherine law And be sure to check out our
merch at Chelseahandler dot com

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